FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Abuse/bullying
Abuse/bullying
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I occasionally accommodate a group of 4/5 hung BBC friends seeing as that's what the large percentage of ladies and couples on fab seem to be after.
Last night I experienced something for the first time. I had a couple (not from fab) down I'd been chatting to over the phone for just over a week (mostly the hubby). The wife didn't sound too enthusiastic on the phone but was definitely up for meeting (not to mention incredibly sexy). To be honest, I should have clocked on then but I thought maybe she was just not very extrovert and anyway, it wasn't in person. So I arranged it with just one BBC friend and myself for some wine and chatter.
It was a traumatic meet cut short as the wife was obviously being bullied into it for the voyeurist husband and in distress. He wanted to get her d*unk so she'd be even more helpless. I'm glad it didn't even get as far as her taking her clothes off. Sadly, sometimes there is only so much that one can do to help and I'm glad I did. Told them it wasn't gonna happen tonight and the relief on her face was something to behold. He called me thus morning but I won't speak to him. Just wish she is released from this cruel man soon! Unfortunately they have kids so she may be in for it for a while!
On a lighter note, my BBC friend doesn't drive so helped himself to the sofa for the night and snored like an aeroplane so I didn't get a wink of sleep (either). As they say, no rest for the wicked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a similar experience years ago. Guy arranged a gangbang for his wife's birthday.
All turned up. Him and a friend arranged who was first and what he'd like to be done to her while it was being filmed.
It was the most uncomfortable situation I had ever experienced.
You could see she was nervous and I'd say scared. Horrible man.
I apologise to the lady and made my excuses and left.
Often think if she was ok that night.
Put me off gangbangs for good.
 |
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That is just horrible! I cannot imagine relationship when one person doesn't respect and enslaves another in that way. This is soo creepy.
Why didn't you talk to this guy? Why didn't you tell him, that what he is doing is just disgusting? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had a similar experience years ago. Guy arranged a gangbang for his wife's birthday.
All turned up. Him and a friend arranged who was first and what he'd like to be done to her while it was being filmed.
It was the most uncomfortable situation I had ever experienced.
You could see she was nervous and I'd say scared. Horrible man.
I apologise to the lady and made my excuses and left.
Often think if she was ok that night.
Put me off gangbangs for good.
"
A lot of bad dudes out there!
(Donald Trump, 30 January 2017). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That is just horrible! I cannot imagine relationship when one person doesn't respect and enslaves another in that way. This is soo creepy.
Why didn't you talk to this guy? Why didn't you tell him, that what he is doing is just disgusting?"
Totally agree about it being disgusting.
Not going into to much detail but I did tell him what I fought when he was showing me out.
The sad thing was he wasn't interested in what I thought.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a similar experience years ago. Guy arranged a gangbang for his wife's birthday.
All turned up. Him and a friend arranged who was first and what he'd like to be done to her while it was being filmed.
It was the most uncomfortable situation I had ever experienced.
You could see she was nervous and I'd say scared. Horrible man.
I apologise to the lady and made my excuses and left.
Often think if she was ok that night.
Put me off gangbangs for good.
A lot of bad dudes out there!
(Donald Trump, 30 January 2017)."
Yeh got that right mate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes me so mad that this goes on however, these women need to help themselves and get rid of these assholes."
Your so right. But sometimes it's differcult to just walk away. Specially if you have alot of history. Kids home etc.
Hopefully she did and is having a wonderful life. |
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You did the right thing by ending the meet.
I'll never understand some people. If I thought for one second my OH wasn't up for a meet, I'd cancel it be we even arrived. I'm that careful with her she gets a bit annoyed if I repeatedly ask her if she's sure!
As you say, hopefully she'll be free from him soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You did the right thing by ending the meet.
I'll never understand some people. If I thought for one second my OH wasn't up for a meet, I'd cancel it be we even arrived. I'm that careful with her she gets a bit annoyed if I repeatedly ask her if she's sure!
As you say, hopefully she'll be free from him soon. "
I'd be the same my mate. They'd have to be exactly what where looking for to be invited into my home and my OH.. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I think you did the right think by ending the meet. If you could see she wasn't comfortable then he must, which makes things ten times worse. It is such a shame that for whatever reasons she doesn't feel able to tell him it isn't what she wants.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not at a gangbang but on several occassions we have witnessed women being told to get it together and basically made to feel that they have no choice.
One that most stands out was a woman in tears in chams changing room and although you couldn't hear as he was kinda whsipering. The body language said a lot more.
But similar is the women that you speak to earlier on and they tell you they won't do certain things. Later on you see them blind d*unk with their partner offering them up to all. We won't play with anyone that seems d*unk or not into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly I think there are a lot of couples where 1 partner is being coerced by the other. But it's nit just men bullying women, I saw a woman at VA once calling the man she was with all the names under the sun for not doing as she wanted when it came to playing with others |
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"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging "
So you are saying, you consciously staying blind for all the wrong what is happening while one partner, forces/bullying other to have sex with others.
Which I would call abuse and rape. But it is me.
And you - well that is point of view to remember. |
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"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging
So you are saying, you consciously staying blind for all the wrong what is happening while one partner, forces/bullying other to have sex with others.
Which I would call abuse and rape. But it is me.
And you - well that is point of view to remember."
No, I am being sarcastic., remembering all of those swinging couples who post that their marriages are perfect and the swinging is totally consensual when those of us in the real world who have seen couples where one or the other is obviously upset about the situation and don't want to be in at parties. I would agree that many swinging relationships involve coercion on some level |
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"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging
So you are saying, you consciously staying blind for all the wrong what is happening while one partner, forces/bullying other to have sex with others.
Which I would call abuse and rape. But it is me.
And you - well that is point of view to remember.
No, I am being sarcastic., remembering all of those swinging couples who post that their marriages are perfect and the swinging is totally consensual when those of us in the real world who have seen couples where one or the other is obviously upset about the situation and don't want to be in at parties. I would agree that many swinging relationships involve coercion on some level "
Uff. Thank you. I don't have much sense of humour when we are talking women abuse .
I do belive many swinging couples are really happy and enjoying it. Both parties. But toxic people are everywhere and they sink their poison to spoil everything. |
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What a cock !! He should be grateful he's got a loving partner , here's me a decent bloke that treats ladies like a princess and respect em and can't find anybody !! The lady should always always have the final say . No means no , fantasy is one thing when one partner feels uncomfortable or threatened then it's time to knock it on the head !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i organised a meet for my mrs without her consent i know she would beat me senseless(not in a nice way) we both have an equal say on who we meet and both have a veto vote, neither have used it as yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tough.
Its more common that you think. Thing is though, swingers overcompensate with just how "amazing" the lifestyle is so you're never going to get through to some of these types. If people want to be delusional then there is nothing that can be done. |
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I've experienced this a few times with couples.
It's like theres a secret in the room and your not privvy to it .
The guy belting out instructions and the women doing it to please him .
I may be wrong but I've felt that twice now . And then the next time i met a couple the female messaged me behind the hubbys back .
I left the site for a while after that and don't really have any intentions of meeting another couple but u can never say never . |
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Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here. |
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here."
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !! |
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!"
I agree. But I am prepared to be lambasted for that, as usual! To be honest, we have found the closer we have got and the more our relationship has developed, the less we have had the desire to swing. I know things change over time, so I don't rule it out, and we do indeed still go to parties monthly or so, but its not a massive part of our lives .... the real issue here is why people can't be honest about where their relationship is, rather than trying to prove theirs is the best all the time. |
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
I agree. But I am prepared to be lambasted for that, as usual! To be honest, we have found the closer we have got and the more our relationship has developed, the less we have had the desire to swing. I know things change over time, so I don't rule it out, and we do indeed still go to parties monthly or so, but its not a massive part of our lives .... the real issue here is why people can't be honest about where their relationship is, rather than trying to prove theirs is the best all the time. "
I know couples rule the forums so i will get a kicking too !
But im only speaking from experience. |
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"I occasionally accommodate a group of 4/5 hung BBC friends seeing as that's what the large percentage of ladies and couples on fab seem to be after.
Last night I experienced something for the first time. I had a couple (not from fab) down I'd been chatting to over the phone for just over a week (mostly the hubby). The wife didn't sound too enthusiastic on the phone but was definitely up for meeting (not to mention incredibly sexy). To be honest, I should have clocked on then but I thought maybe she was just not very extrovert and anyway, it wasn't in person. So I arranged it with just one BBC friend and myself for some wine and chatter.
It was a traumatic meet cut short as the wife was obviously being bullied into it for the voyeurist husband and in distress. He wanted to get her d*unk so she'd be even more helpless. I'm glad it didn't even get as far as her taking her clothes off. Sadly, sometimes there is only so much that one can do to help and I'm glad I did. Told them it wasn't gonna happen tonight and the relief on her face was something to behold. He called me thus morning but I won't speak to him. Just wish she is released from this cruel man soon! Unfortunately they have kids so she may be in for it for a while!
On a lighter note, my BBC friend doesn't drive so helped himself to the sofa for the night and snored like an aeroplane so I didn't get a wink of sleep (either). As they say, no rest for the wicked "
Fair play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!"
Because Mr gets turned on by seeing me with more than one cock and had yet to find a way to grow a second of his own |
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"Not at a gangbang but on several occassions we have witnessed women being told to get it together and basically made to feel that they have no choice.
One that most stands out was a woman in tears in chams changing room and although you couldn't hear as he was kinda whsipering. The body language said a lot more.
But similar is the women that you speak to earlier on and they tell you they won't do certain things. Later on you see them blind d*unk with their partner offering them up to all. We won't play with anyone that seems d*unk or not into it."
|
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
Because Mr gets turned on by seeing me with more than one cock and had yet to find a way to grow a second of his own "
I presume its mutual though, and not all about what your partner wants? |
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
Because Mr gets turned on by seeing me with more than one cock and had yet to find a way to grow a second of his own "
There u have it !!!
Mr gets turned on seeing His Lady take more than one cock ...
It shouldn't be about doung something simply to please another !
That's the point of this thread |
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we had a similar experience on our first ever meet. The couple claimed to be experienced swingers, and to ease us into it. soon after cloths started coming off, the other girl ran out the room, and then their house crying. Leaving the male of the couple. he insisted in trying it on with Sam for a while before going to look for her. He tried to reassure us she is fine and she will be back.
Being our first time it took us a while to make our escape the experience very nearly put us off swinging. We have been much more picky with who we meet now. and touch wood it has been brilliant ever since  |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!"
What can I say?, Its the big crack I haven't got. 
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
Because Mr gets turned on by seeing me with more than one cock and had yet to find a way to grow a second of his own
I presume its mutual though, and not all about what your partner wants?"
Oh yes I love it or I wouldn't do it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
Because Mr gets turned on by seeing me with more than one cock and had yet to find a way to grow a second of his own
There u have it !!!
Mr gets turned on seeing His Lady take more than one cock ...
It shouldn't be about doung something simply to please another !
That's the point of this thread"
No that's not what I said . Just because you have had two bad experiences don't assume everyone is the same .
My point was that it's a turn on that can't be solved by only us and that's why we are on here . I love it too but for different reasons |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging "
You seem really hung up on this. I am guessing someone said they had a happy marriage and swung once. Whoever it was you are aiming it at have probably forgotten all about it by now |
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"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging
You seem really hung up on this. I am guessing someone said they had a happy marriage and swung once. Whoever it was you are aiming it at have probably forgotten all about it by now "
I am not the only one saying this. If you have a problem with me, the rules are not to broadcast it on the forums, surely? |
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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago
CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly) |
"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!"
The only cracks we have in our marriage are the ones in our arses.
Swinging is a game to us which we enjoy together, and with other couples. We know our boundaries and rules. And we communicate all the time. Xx Suzi
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
I agree. But I am prepared to be lambasted for that, as usual! To be honest, we have found the closer we have got and the more our relationship has developed, the less we have had the desire to swing. I know things change over time, so I don't rule it out, and we do indeed still go to parties monthly or so, but its not a massive part of our lives .... the real issue here is why people can't be honest about where their relationship is, rather than trying to prove theirs is the best all the time. "
Wow nice sweeping assumption there.
People always project their own experiences onto others.
I prefer to meet people before forming an opinion.
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!
I agree. But I am prepared to be lambasted for that, as usual! To be honest, we have found the closer we have got and the more our relationship has developed, the less we have had the desire to swing. I know things change over time, so I don't rule it out, and we do indeed still go to parties monthly or so, but its not a massive part of our lives .... the real issue here is why people can't be honest about where their relationship is, rather than trying to prove theirs is the best all the time.
Wow nice sweeping assumption there.
People always project their own experiences onto others.
I prefer to meet people before forming an opinion.
"
I speak about our relationship honestly and from my own experience. No sweeping assumptions and no defensiveness. |
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I always say to the lady when we meet wether she is on her own or part of a couple, we do what you are comfortable with, if you don't like or want to do something than we don't do it. A meet is suppose to be enjoyable to all parties not dictated by just what one person wants. |
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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago
CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly) |
I would just like to say. Well done OP for being sensitive and sensible. You did absolutely the right thing ending the meet.
It is a shame we can't hear their side of the story though. It may have been a fantasy they had discussed in the throws of passion together, over time. But maybe for them that is what it should have stayed as, a fantasy.
I do hope you have learnt to go on your gut instinct from now. If it doesn't sound right over the phone, then delay any future meets until you yourself are 100 % sure.
And for the couple I hope the repercussions of this meet are sorted between them. And they are ok. Xxxxx Suzi |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That is just horrible! I cannot imagine relationship when one person doesn't respect and enslaves another in that way. This is soo creepy.
Why didn't you talk to this guy? Why didn't you tell him, that what he is doing is just disgusting?"
I did. He texted me next day. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging
You seem really hung up on this. I am guessing someone said they had a happy marriage and swung once. Whoever it was you are aiming it at have probably forgotten all about it by now
I am not the only one saying this. If you have a problem with me, the rules are not to broadcast it on the forums, surely? "
Seriously?
I promise never to question anything you say ever again in a discussion, even if you constantly say it at every opportunity and why I questioned it.
I might leave you to it |
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"Interesting debate as long as it doesn't get taken over by couples who say swinging means their marriage is the strongest ever .... I think the truth is different for different couples. As we came to this meeting here, we are more on the same page, at least both know we want to be here.
Well if there relationship is so good why do they feel the need to get sexual thrills elsewhere?
As i say I've found once u scratch beneath the surface of these perfect relationships big cracks appear !!"
Totally agree |
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"Guys and gals you all have it wrong because all swinging couples have the happiest marriages ever and are all totally on the same page with their swinging
You seem really hung up on this. I am guessing someone said they had a happy marriage and swung once. Whoever it was you are aiming it at have probably forgotten all about it by now
I am not the only one saying this. If you have a problem with me, the rules are not to broadcast it on the forums, surely?
Seriously?
I promise never to question anything you say ever again in a discussion, even if you constantly say it at every opportunity and why I questioned it.
I might leave you to it "
I do say other things too that aren't connected in any way. I think you maybe just notice that one comment .... hardly every opportunity. No need to make it personal, surely? I certainly don't |
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