FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you?

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you?

Jump to: Newest in thread

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You not only make sure you don't ask how are they doing today (because that apparently annoys the hell out of everyone in the UK) but also go through the painstaking effort of writing more than one sentence.

You dont copy and paste. You sit there for 30 minutes trying to be unique but at the same time genuine and show by the effort you put forth in your message you'll likely put the same effort into an actual meet.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

My question is: what is polite about that? Since when in British society has ignoring someone ever been the polite thing to do? (or does fab exist outside of society?) Especially when all the filters, requirements and tests have been passed.

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *laytimenowMan over a year ago

Essex

It is on Fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *LUKCouple over a year ago

Loughborough

Yes, it is.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes, it is. "

Yes it is polite?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread would have been funnier if no one had replied

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This thread would have been funnier if no one had replied

Lmao! So true!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

cahoots

"This thread would have been funnier if no one had replied

I was thinking the same thing...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Next ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agreed ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just as you take a look at someone's profile, pics, interests etc before deciding if you'll message them, so will that person have a look at your profile, pics, interests etc before deciding whether they'll reply.

Your profile is just as important as the message you send and in a lot of cases, even more important.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its the Fab version of walking through a door and not being bothered to look over your shoulder to see if someones about to have the door slam into their face...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry Bikegent...it is the nature of the beast.

The power ultimately lies with the women due to us blokes being in the vast majority!.......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just as you take a look at someone's profile, pics, interests etc before deciding if you'll message them, so will that person have a look at your profile, pics, interests etc before deciding whether they'll reply.

Your profile is just as important as the message you send and in a lot of cases, even more important."

Point taken. No one is saying that you must meet because you've been messaged. But a polite no thank you surely isnt too much to expect?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

And of course, by the mere fact that you took that time to go to the trouble to write such a message to so one, in the hope that you might have sex with them, because you are interested in them, this gives you some degree of entitlement too?

And I'm guessing by this, you'd be quite happy to pass on tips on how you manage your time efficiently to allow you the ability to singularly reply to every one of multiple message you get every day like some of the members on here?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry Bikegent...it is the nature of the beast.

The power ultimately lies with the women due to us blokes being in the vast majority!......."

Lol @ 'bikegent'. Its a shame as the vast majority of women want to be treated with respect but don't seem to know what to do with it when its politely emailed to their inbox exactly in the manner they requested...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

When I was first on here I got so many messages I had to hide my profile in order to respond to them all. Only one fella sent a rude response to my polite no thank you. Everyone else was lovely and pleased to have had a response

Then I got a tip from one of my boys to block everyone and do my own searches. It's working fabulously

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They weren't interested. Not rocket science

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This topic comes up multiple times a day. I've heard every argument possible and I still can't understand why people get so butthurt about it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This topic comes up multiple times a day. I've heard every argument possible and I still can't understand why people get so butthurt about it."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

First off I did do my research. You did not. The last thread on this topic was over a year ago. In the ever changing world of fab I don't think that is relevant. Its a new year, perceptions change (although apparently arrogant people don't).

Secondly as I just said in a previous post in no way does an email equal a meet. It would be ludicrous to imagine that. There is absolutely nothing in my initial rant to indicate that. I do think though that a respectful polite email is entitled to one by return.

And thirdly (can you read? Or do you make up things as you read?) if you read the thing properly I'm not expecting people to respond to every email. Just the ones that upon being read give evidence that the sender has tried. And even if it's an unsucessful try have the courtesy to say: sorry not for me.

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iggles and BeardyCouple over a year ago

Bristol

It's pretty much how we use it, as find an actual no thank you just leeds to more replies.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Lmao, you're level of bitterness over your sense of entitlement being dented is overwhelming, certainly shows your character

Interestingly is see threads on this very subject at 7 weeks old, 10 weeks old, 12 weeks old, 17 weeks old, shall I go on? But I appreciate this can be difficult to type a simple word I a search box, for some.....

Perhaps spending as much time reading the FAQ's rather than profiles you so painstakingly take the time to mail, so you understand the guidance might be an idea?

And because you deem to show interest in someone, and take a little bit of time over a message that should entitle you to a reply? I tell you what, if it bothers you so much, don't do it. If you can't be bothered to put that bit of effort in in the hope that someone will just jump at the chance to chat with you, and eventually fall on their backs for you, then don't. The other guys that write the similar types of messages, without expectations, who don't go and rant about it, and don't get twisted over not getting a reply will have the success.

And, you don't expect people to answer every mail..... just yours, because you took the time to write a nice mail. I would say if there any hint of arrogance, it's right there....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*inserts Michael jackson's popcorn meme*

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you don't treat it as such you'll drive yourself nuts.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Lmao, you're level of bitterness over your sense of entitlement being dented is overwhelming, certainly shows your character

Perhaps spending as much time reading the FAQ's rather than profiles you so painstakingly take the time to mail, so you understand the guidance might be an idea?

And, you don't expect people to answer every mail..... just yours, because you took the time to write a nice mail. I would say if there any hint of arrogance, it's right there...."

Yep. Your a lazy one. Can't even be bothered to proof read your own posts and use correct grammar.

Plus you defintely hallucinate. Did you see anywhere that I'm asking for a chat? Or demanding that someone falls on their back? (doggystyle please). Nothing in what I've said denies people the right to decline. I'm just asking that they be polite about it.

But that you would argue whether being polite should be an expectation says much about your character... Do you have kids?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Lmao, you're level of bitterness over your sense of entitlement being dented is overwhelming, certainly shows your character

Perhaps spending as much time reading the FAQ's rather than profiles you so painstakingly take the time to mail, so you understand the guidance might be an idea?

And, you don't expect people to answer every mail..... just yours, because you took the time to write a nice mail. I would say if there any hint of arrogance, it's right there....

Yep. Your a lazy one. Can't even be bothered to proof read your own posts and use correct grammar.

But that you would argue whether being polite should be an expectation says much about your character... Do you have kids?"

I'll leave you to it, you just carry on, you're doing just wonderfully

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is putting the phone down on a cold caller, irrespective of all the hours they slaved over the pitch they wanted to give you, better than wasting their time by talking to them when there's absolutely no chance you'll buy what they're selling or, worse still, metering out some kind of abuse on them?

I think you know the answer

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aroleBaskinWoman over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Lmao, you're level of bitterness over your sense of entitlement being dented is overwhelming, certainly shows your character

Perhaps spending as much time reading the FAQ's rather than profiles you so painstakingly take the time to mail, so you understand the guidance might be an idea?

And, you don't expect people to answer every mail..... just yours, because you took the time to write a nice mail. I would say if there any hint of arrogance, it's right there....

Yep. Your a lazy one. Can't even be bothered to proof read your own posts and use correct grammar.

But that you would argue whether being polite should be an expectation says much about your character... Do you have kids?"

*you're

*definitely

Sorry...couldn't resist

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The amount of messages that arrive clearly indicating they havent bothered reading the profile or feel they can totally ignore it....

They cant be arsed, No, me neither.

Sorted!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is putting the phone down on a cold caller, irrespective of all the hours they slaved over the pitch they wanted to give you, better than wasting their time by talking to them when there's absolutely no chance you'll buy what they're selling or, worse still, metering out some kind of abuse on them?

I think you know the answer

Say no thank you not for me. That's better than hanging up.

Plus cold caller know nothing about you. I would equate them to the guys who send: 'Hi wanna fuck?' messages.

I'm not referring to those emails. By all means ignore those. Here someone has taken the time to inform themselves about your likes and dislikes etc.

And your fine to just ignore them?

Ok. I quit

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *blecoolerMan over a year ago

Goole

It's simply supply and demand. The ladies get swamped at the slight raise of a hem, get pissed off with it and cant do much other than switch off certain groups. (Hopefully employing other strategies as above re own searches). Nobody is really wrong here, no need to fall out either.

Eventually it comes down to trying your best to have fun and a lot of luck!

I do think a

THANKS BUT NO THANKS

Button, to quick reply with would be a good idea.

Sid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

Lmao, you're level of bitterness over your sense of entitlement being dented is overwhelming, certainly shows your character

Perhaps spending as much time reading the FAQ's rather than profiles you so painstakingly take the time to mail, so you understand the guidance might be an idea?

And, you don't expect people to answer every mail..... just yours, because you took the time to write a nice mail. I would say if there any hint of arrogance, it's right there....

Yep. Your a lazy one. Can't even be bothered to proof read your own posts and use correct grammar.

But that you would argue whether being polite should be an expectation says much about your character... Do you have kids?

*you're

*definitely

Sorry...couldn't resist

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Some days I get more messages than most, and those increase further on days when you upload new pics or advertise a meet, or even if it's just a weekend with horny piss heads that delete their account the next day.

My worst day on here I advertised a meet after uploading a new pics in the space of 5 hours I got 356 new messages ( that's with filters in place), if you're not a site supporter you can only send 200 messages a day, so it would have been mathematically impossible to reply to all. Even leaving replying to roll over to the next day still couldn't reply to all as I would have accumulated even more messages (average 50-80 a day) , and so on it goes. Not to mention, who realistically has the time to type " thanks but no thanks" or words to that effect 356 times in one day? even if they could as a site supporter, between kids and work I certainly don't have the time.

Considering all this it's not laziness it's just a more productive use of time to only reply to people that interest you and why a delete is to be considered a polite no thank you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"It's simply supply and demand. The ladies get swamped at the slight raise of a hem, get pissed off with it and cant do much other than switch off certain groups. (Hopefully employing other strategies as above re own searches). Nobody is really wrong here, no need to fall out either.

Eventually it comes down to trying your best to have fun and a lot of luck!

I do think a

THANKS BUT NO THANKS

Button, to quick reply with would be a good idea.

Sid"

No it wouldn't, as then people would bitch that it's too impersonal a way to reply after they've typed out a well thought out message. I've seen it happen on the forums of another site I use that have a similar feature as the one you suggest

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some days I get more messages than most, and those increase further on days when you upload new pics or advertise a meet, or even if it's just a weekend with horny piss heads that delete their account the next day.

Considering all this it's not laziness it's just a more productive use of time to only reply to people that interest you and why a delete is to be considered a polite no thank you. "

Thank you so much for your informative and level headed response. Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to have to burst your bubble OP, but 9 out of 10 messages you send are probably deleted unread, as the lady has all free time for the next 6 months booked up, so just bulk deletes unread along with the FAF and sell me your knickers messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When are guys on this site going to get over themselves? Not everyone fancies you, regardless of how much time and effort you put into a message.

I'd rather have no reply than a no thanks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

Laziness. And Fab condones it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

In the words of Queen Elsa; 'let it go, let it go'

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not quite sure why people have felt the need to lay into the OP. He's perfectly entitled to pose his question to the forum, and there is nothing in forum rules or forum ettiquete that suggests one should read previous threads on a topic instead of posting a new one. Indeed if nobody ever posted a topic that had been posted before there would be not much left on the forum! Likewise forumites are entitled to ignored forums threads on topics that they feel have been overdone. However there is a fair bit of sarcasm in your post OP, and it seems to irritate you that you have to send a face pics, and that you have to do or not do various other things as part of the sending a message process. Maybe that's why you instigated a strong reaction from some forumites.

With regards to your question. If you followed that formula that you described, we would probably feel obliged to reply, as we only get one or two messages a day, and about half don't deserve a reply. So admittedly it's not a big deal for us to reply. However after over 2 years of getting about 1 message per day that in our mind warrants a reply, it does start to become like a tedious daily admin process, which we certainly never signed up for when we joined Fab for our own selfish reasons. The other issue that slightly irritates me is that whenever we politely reply we nearly always get a reply saying 'thank you for replying'. If we must reply, it would be nice to think that our reply signifies the end of the communication. I don't know what the answer is. In reality I think it needs to be accepted that internet etiquette is not the same as real life etiquette, and it would be impractical to think it is. Btw I put the phone down without saying anything to cold callers. That's because I find their intrusion rude.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andsonjohnMan over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

Ok fella I commend you on your effort with your writing here but I feel your over thinking and over trying . Easiest way to have fun is to not try to have fun by that I mean don't take it all so seriously and just have a laugh. so what if your efforts are ignored by those who you message my advice less effort more piss taking and you will enjoy yourself inbetween getting laid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andsonjohnMan over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Not quite sure why people have felt the need to lay into the OP. He's perfectly entitled to pose his question to the forum, and there is nothing in forum rules or forum ettiquete that suggests one should read previous threads on a topic instead of posting a new one. Indeed if nobody ever posted a topic that had been posted before there would be not much left on the forum! Likewise forumites are entitled to ignored forums threads on topics that they feel have been overdone. However there is a fair bit of sarcasm in your post OP, and it seems to irritate you that you have to send a face pics, and that you have to do or not do various other things as part of the sending a message process. Maybe that's why you instigated a strong reaction from some forumites.

Mrs

They lay onto him because by doing so they feel superior classic behavior for a sex site and very funny but a good guide on who to avoid at all costs if you want to have fun memorable meets .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

I guess it could be considered as being as lazy as not bothering to read up on or research the million and one other threads about this very subject?

Oooooo... Lets go!

I appreciate though that this may be too much for some

When people put a meet thread up they can get literally hundreds of messages a day. That's on top of what they normally receive.

They'd need a permanent secretary to send a "thanks but no thanks" reply to every one.

Site FAQ has the answer to your original question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?

In the words of Queen Elsa; 'let it go, let it go' "

To be fair, she's a bit frigid.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You get countless leaflets/flyers/cold calling letters drop through the door daily. I take it you go to the effort of calling them all and saying no thank you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why can't it be both laziness and polite? It is from me. I won't be replying because I can't be arsed, but I also don't like polite rejection messages myself and would rather mine were deleted. So I'm treating others as I would like to be treated.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile is just as important as the message you send and in a lot of cases, even more important.

Point taken. No one is saying that you must meet because you've been messaged. But a polite no thank you surely isnt too much to expect?

It is to much to expect though. Fab says no reply means no thanks. What if a woman has recieved 50 other messeges, should she reply to them all ? Also my experience is that if i reply no thanks then the guy sees that as an invitation to then ask why and sometimes they get abusive. So it's often easier to simply ignore and delete.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why can't it be both laziness and polite? It is from me. I won't be replying because I can't be arsed, but I also don't like polite rejection messages myself and would rather mine were deleted. So I'm treating others as I would like to be treated."

I take the same approach you do but I also ask them to delete the message if not interested. Most don't even do that. I honestly think people do enjoy being ignorant. No reply is not ignorant but not even doing a simple request like deleting mail to inform the sender of their intentions is, imo.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never understood why people would prefer an in box full of rejection over an empty one. It amounts to the same thing, but "in your face" rejection must be worse, surely?

Oh and stop spending 30 minutes on an initial message! People who expect you to jump through hoops normally aren't worth the effort anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op. it's a polite no.

If your unsure, mail them a second time and ask them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you really don't understand how us lazy people work, do you? If I can't be bothered to reply I'm not going to bother opening and deleting a message!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I delete my sent mail box so I don't know if they've deleted it or not. I don't really care, I think ignoring it or deleting it is effectively the same. All I (now) ask for is not to waste my time with a no thanks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interesting point that come up. Laziness. Are we entitled to be lazy? I think so. I mean if you want something, put the required effort in to get it. But if you don't want something, then presumably effort isn't required. On that basis there no point in making an effort to reply to a message when you don't want anything. As I said earlier, we are here for our own selfish reasons. It's an entirely different matter once a friendship is formed. It's just that how much effort is reasonable for a complete stranger?

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It opened my eyes. People seem to enjoy being defiant. Even with a polite request.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you really don't understand how us lazy people work, do you? If I can't be bothered to reply I'm not going to bother opening and deleting a message!

That's best for both in that case because that level of laziness is a massive turn off for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you really don't understand how us lazy people work, do you? If I can't be bothered to reply I'm not going to bother opening and deleting a message!

That's best for both in that case because that level of laziness is a massive turn off for me."

couldn't agree more. I'd rather save my energy for those that interest me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reenleavesCouple over a year ago

North Wales

This thread is worth the site membership fee alone! Excellent comedy value

We don't get a huge amount of messages on here and we still tend to ignore most. Our experience of replying with a 'thanks but no' is that it invariably follows up with a 'but why?' message. Often with us it's a gut instinct as to why we aren't interested. It could be the profile name or the photo or the message header. So the sender's out of luck before we even open it.

If the sender has gone to so much effort to get our attention then to reply with 'thanks but no' feels really mean. So in comes the inherent laziness and conflict avoidance that makes a no reply so appealing. Also, someone who has taken that much time to message us will likely not accept the 'thanks but no' and so we get sucked into the 'but why?' death spiral.

And then WE get called 'time wasters' ....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

I agree. No response to a polite well thought out message is not polite.

No reply to short shitty and/ or rude messages is to be expected.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reenleavesCouple over a year ago

North Wales

Oh, I should mention that our post refers to ignoring messages from couples and women just as much as from guys. We're an equal opportunities ignorer

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

Do you phone up every chinese take away that puts a leaflet through your door to politley say "thanks for the menu but i wont be ordering from you"?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This topic comes up multiple times a day. I've heard every argument possible and I still can't understand why people get so butthurt about it."

People get 'butthurt' about it because they perceive it as rude - and (to an extent) they are right when comparing Fab behaviour to normal social constructs.

Often you find that the ones who reserve the right to treat you like you don't exist are the same people demanding to be treated like a prince/princess. It's one of the many dichotomies that exist purely in the Fab 'social' sphere that I find both highly amusing and sad.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting point that come up. Laziness. Are we entitled to be lazy?"

Oh absolutely.

Laziness is a motivator in lots of things I do. It makes me look for ways which are efficient and effective, rather than repeating the same things over and over without success (which is the source of many an angst-fuelled thread on here)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is on Fab "

I don't care what the FAQ on fab says about no reply - I was brought up to be respectful, kind and well-mannered. Ignoring a message is not polite - I always decline with a brief polite no thank you. m x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is on Fab

Let me just get you that medal.

I was also brought up to be respectful, kind and well mannered. It's perfectly respectful to ignore a message I didn't solicit, kinder to delete rather than tell them the reasons I find them deeply unattractive and well-mannered to respond as I would like to be responded to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is on Fab

Let me just get you that medal.

Spot on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is on Fab

Thumbs up about the FAQs. People treat them like Gospel.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"You get countless leaflets/flyers/cold calling letters drop through the door daily. I take it you go to the effort of calling them all and saying no thank you? "

This exactly for me - and I'm really not trying to be nasty or unpleasant op! I get a lot of messages from a lot of people that I didn't ask for - and if I replied to it all then fab would literally be a 24/7 occupation!

Also - once you send out a reply - even a brief 'no thanks' - any future filters you put up (re age etc) become useless as the hundreds/thousands you've politely declined over time can message you at will until you block them all individually - which renders all the filters pointless!

I do think there should be a standard 'no thank you' message we can send which doesn't mean the sender/respond ant gets past future filters. This would give people 'closure' as it were - at least they'd know where they stood!

I think it would also be great if, once the standard 'no thank you' message had been sent out - the 'interested party' was still able to view the pretty pictures etc (no harm there imo) but prevented from sending future messages!

Apologies for the long-winded response op!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I try and reply to most... Depending on what's sent to us in first instance... Wanna fuck bugs the hell out of me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

At least you know they are not interested that way. The worst one is when it remains unread!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do I tell the difference between someone who has:

- Read my profile and thinks he's suitable (but isn't)

- Not read my profile and doesn't care if he's suitable (and isn't).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In addition:

TIME does not equal SEX.

You don't put TIME in and get SEX out.

Stop being so entitled.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm having a dejavu moment as I'm sure repelled to this question last night, anyway...

I really really don't care if you think the reasons why I don't reply are down to laziness, ignorance, impoliteness, arrogance. I know I'm not like that.

The truth is I either saw your message and didn't fancy you, saw message and 'lost' it in the inbox or couldn't be arsed with any messages and bulk deleted the whole lot.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you phone up every chinese take away that puts a leaflet through your door to politley say "thanks for the menu but i wont be ordering from you"?"

No I put them in a drawer and try them eventually

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look at all the research junk mail companies do but I still dont respond to them unless I am interested either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In addition:

TIME does not equal SEX.

You don't put TIME in and get SEX out.

Stop being so entitled."

Where did the OP explicitly state he was entitled to sex? In struggling to find it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tldr but yes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

Obviously you didn't read the FAQ's because according to them, it really is a polite 'no thanks'

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shows how lowly men are regarded in this day and age when analogies of junk mail and Chinese take away junk mail are being produced. You'd never think that they were actually human beings would you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Shows how lowly men are regarded in this day and age when analogies of junk mail and Chinese take away junk mail are being produced. You'd never think that they were actually human beings would you?"

Who said anything about it just being messages from men? My statements equally apply to the even more unsolicited messages from women and couple I get if my filters are down.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

However, there are some that use this site who sadly don't conduct themselves like human beings. It's a double edged sword.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Firstly, if you take the care you say you do you wouldn't message me, but if you did I'd read your profile and delete your message without reading so I wouldn't know whether you'd been polite or not.

Mostly i get more messages than I can answer which is one reason I don't answer. Replying leads to more messages which I don't want, or are abusive, so this is another reason I don't. I also find it extremely rude saying no, so I think if I've not got anything nice to say don't say anything at all. However, there are days when I don't get a lot of messages and I do reply.... I always regret it!!

Finally, I'd like to ask why men want a string of replies saying no, isn't that more soul destroying than just not receiving anything, which clearly shows they have no interes, so is as good as a no.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eal Deal PartiesWoman over a year ago

I always reply.. even if it's a polite fxxk Off!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

"I always reply.. even if it's a polite fxxk Off!!!

Thats usually my polite reply after several deleted messages or actual no thank-yous! Lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

Don't send a decline..your classed as rude and lazy .

Send one ..and you then open a can of worms of but why nots and trying to change your mind

No win situation !

Only the other day I sent a "sorry but your not what I'm after" . They then replied ok thanks and I just deleted message be living foolishly that was end to conversation .

WRONG!!!! I got then a barrage of how unbelievably rude I was just deleting that message and wasn't type of person they'd want to know ect.

Walk a mile in my heels op and you may see why choosing not to reply to those you aren't interested in maybe wise move. I'm here to have a laugh and fun ,not to be party to others perceived dramas and injustice . They can take that elsewhere and I just continue talking to the people I want and running my profile as I see fit. Others are free to do the same .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Your profile is just as important as the message you send and in a lot of cases, even more important.

Point taken. No one is saying that you must meet because you've been messaged. But a polite no thank you surely isnt too much to expect?

I think most people start off replying with a "thanks, no thanks" to be met with "why not" "wouldn't touch you with someone else's" type response.

Just as not receiving a reply may be frustrating, so is abuse. It's easier for some to ignore those they're not interested in rather than expose themselves to the petulant, entitled whines that follow.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olliPineCouple over a year ago

swingers clubs

Tbf - we've found a polite 'no thanks' usually leads to 'why not?', or more messages trying to persuade us to change our minds. As soon you reply - many on here believe they have you on their hook and won't let you free without a fight. Over the years, we've found it generally doesn't work to reply if you have no interest.

It's like when you get home and there's a dozen messages on your answer machine from various accident claim helplines or boiler replacement, solar panel installations companies. We don't think 'hey, we should call these dudes back to say no. It's only polite'!!!

3 hours later you'll still be trying to tell them you're not interested.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Mail you don't want is junk mail, wether that be through your letter box or via a pm, regardless of its source its junk mail, sheer fact.

The biggest proportion of my messages come from people I state I've no interest in, why when I've already said I wouldn't want them, should I have to say it again?

Please enlighten me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's true. But there is a lot of dehumanising on the internet (I like to think Im not guilty of it, and and glad to say that in return I usually treated accordingly). But Fab is rife with shitty behaviour from all demographics - men, women, couples. The horror stories I've heard about people not turning up for a meet, or cancelling at short notice for no good reason - why would one treat a human being like this? The arrogance portrayed on the forums and on people profiles, that I suspect they wouldn't portray in real life. Then there are the guys (fortunately this doesn't happen too often with us) who randomly message us with no information on their profile except a picture of a dick and asks if I want some sex! That makes me feel like an animal not a human being. To be quite honest not replying to a message is the least of Fab's problems when it comes to not treating people like human beings. Also the men who grumble about not getting replies, do they always treat their playmates like humans? Or when they are tired of someone do they just disappear? I don't agree and I hope I don't do it, but it's very easy to sit behind a keyboard and forget that people are human beings. That why we find it better at organised socials or parties, where people talk to each other properly face to face as human beings.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is on Fab

Let me just get you that medal.

Spot on. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewrocksWoman over a year ago

button moon

when I replied 'thanks but no thanks' the majority of the time I got either abuse (well you're a fat fucker anyway etc) asked why not, or sent another message thanking me for rejection.

all pointless, all taking ip my time, and then they are un restricted by my filters when they're back on/changed. I didn't ask for mail, If they've not bothered to read my profile, or have ignored it, or something in there mail/profile (I read the profile 1st) Then I'm not going to reply. I dont understand why so many blokes get hung up on getting a reply that is siply a rejection.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ewrocksWoman over a year ago

button moon

"when I replied 'thanks but no thanks' the majority of the time I got either abuse (well you're a fat fucker anyway etc) asked why not, or sent another message thanking me for rejection.

all pointless, all taking ip my time, and then they are un restricted by my filters when they're back on/changed. I didn't ask for mail, If they've not bothered to read my profile, or have ignored it, or something in there mail/profile (I read the profile 1st) that puts me off, Then I'm not going to reply. I dont understand why so many blokes get hung up on getting a reply that is siply a rejection.

"
edited as I think faster than i type.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I don't know if anyone else has said this but if profiles require you to jump through hoops and you're not regularly getting responses from them why are you still making the effort they require? Contact profiles that require less effort.

That said I realise it must be wearing to effectively shout into an empty space. We do try and reply to almost everyone but for loads of reasons some messages are extremely difficult to respond to and are best left unanswered.

As to whether it's polite or not, I think on Fab politeness is slightly skewed. I've never been approached outside of fab by someone introducing themselves with "your tits look great I'd love to spunk all over them".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm amazed at the amount of people who still haven't realised that interaction on the internet is completely different to social interaction in the real world. To compare the two and say that people are rude/lazy/ignorant because they don't reply to a message asking for a fuck (ultimately) just makes me wonder how little interaction many actually have outside of fab. Try applying for jobs. That really does knock your confidence when you get no response,but eventually you have to accept that it's the way things are. It's not ideal but we don't live in an ideal world. Bleating and whingeing about people's behaviour isn't attractive and certainly won't change their behaviour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most recipients will look at your profile before reading your message.

You say you take care not to include a cock pic, but the first picture on your profile is precisely that.

The FAQ's for this site state VERY CLEARLY that no-reply is to be taken as a 'no thank you'

Consider this for just one moment OP.

Let's just say, for arguments sake, that you are a young, sexy single female and are receiving over 100 messages PER DAY, and that 99% of these are from people you have no interest in, do not find attractive, are too far away, are the wrong height etc, etc. Would YOU reply to each and every one of them with a 'No thanks'?

No, I didn't think so either.

A lot of ladies (and couples too) have often also found that when they do reply with a 'no thanks' they then get a follow up either asking 'why?' or a barrage of abuse.

I also wonder OP, if an inbox full of 'no thanks' would make you feel that much better

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do try to appreciate a message where someone has gone to the trouble of reading my profile and making the message personal to me. I will send a reply, but then sometimes that can lead into more questions about "why won't I meet them" etc which becomes annoying.

When I receive the one liner messages or crude messages, I simply delete.

It must be so difficult being a single male on here, I don't envy them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

Your profile is just as important as the message you send and in a lot of cases, even more important.

Point taken. No one is saying that you must meet because you've been messaged. But a polite no thank you surely isnt too much to expect?

No because replying on fab means any filters you later apply won't affect that person simply because you were polite enough to say no thanks.

People rarely leave and try to continue a conversation or ask why

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP logs onto Fab

5 new messages

his heart skips a little beat

oh joy! all those well crafted thoughtful messages I spent time sending must have got through...

opens message 1...no thanks

opens message 2...no thanks

opens messages 3...not for us

opens message 4...not if you were the last man on earth

opens messages 5...get fucked...

if you really want an inbox full of rejection...How's that for your ego?

we send a message and then forget about it, if they're interested they'd message. clearly if they don't, they're not. is it right? in the normal way of things, probably not...is it something you have to accept and just move past, absolutely. Youre entitled to nothing here and neither is anyone else, man, woman or couple. if you can't, then this probably isn't for you...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In addition:

TIME does not equal SEX.

You don't put TIME in and get SEX out.

Stop being so entitled.

Where did the OP explicitly state he was entitled to sex? In struggling to find it.

Why else would he want a reply, other than to try and continue the conversation? (Which is what most people do - you say 'no thank you' and then they try and have a chat.)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Eventually it comes down to trying your best to have fun and a lot of luck!

I do think a

THANKS BUT NO THANKS

Button, to quick reply with would be a good idea.

Sid

So have I!!! The vitriol, venom and sense of entitlement...

good Lord!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know if anyone else has said this but if profiles require you to jump through hoops and you're not regularly getting responses from them why are you still making the effort they require? Contact profiles that require less effort.

I think that's an extremely good point. Manners on Fab are somewhat different from 'real' life. On Fab it's considered perfectly normal to show a prospective sex partner your genitals long before you show your face. In real life that would be the height of rudeness. I think in an internet age it has to be accepted that there are a different set of rules for on-line communication. What I cannot accept though is when communication gets to the point where that person is 'real', that people don't behave with decency. Or when people are just nasty for their own sadistic thrills. But being lazy with anonymous people? That probably has to be accepted as part of internet etiquette, which is not the same as real life ettiquete.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

I thik it's meant to be a "non-confrontational" no thanks rather than "polite".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm amazed at the amount of people who still haven't realised that interaction on the internet is completely different to social interaction in the real world. To compare the two and say that people are rude/lazy/ignorant because they don't reply to a message asking for a fuck (ultimately) just makes me wonder how little interaction many actually have outside of fab. Try applying for jobs. That really does knock your confidence when you get no response,but eventually you have to accept that it's the way things are. It's not ideal but we don't live in an ideal world. Bleating and whingeing about people's behaviour isn't attractive and certainly won't change their behaviour. "

That's a very good point. The norm with job applications is if you don't hear back after a certain time, thento assume that you have not been successful at getting to the interview stage. Is that rude not to receive a formal rejection letter? I don't know. It's just the way it's done.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

It is also the case that quite a few of the messages we receive are from people who haven't taken our preferences into account

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've not long come back after a break and all I've had is drama and abuse from replying by a polite "no thanks " so I started just deleting which in turn created more abusive mail. From now on I'm just going to block

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imited 3EditionCouple over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

Not sure why such a high proportion of responses on this thread have a condescending tone.

If a person less acquainted with fab asks a question in a bid to understand fab etiquette, where is the crime in that? We were all new on here at some point. No need to take fab frustrations out on the OP. If you lack the patience to explain then why bother replying at all?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imited 3EditionCouple over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

My post isnt a response to the last few posts by the way

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I got chastised by one guy recently for replying politely declining.

Apparently any reply is showing the person attention, which I was then informed was wrong and implied I was leading him on.

So much easier to just ignore

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If we delete then it's a polite No Thanks from us, just like it says is the FabFAQs...

Anyone who thinks different, in our opinion, is just showing their desperation...

There, we said it, sure that will get us a few blocks...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I think the lesson to take from this is to not invest so much on any single profile or first contact message. Half an hour to write a message? A short paragraph or even a single sentence saying you are interested and would like to talk/meet is plenty - your profile is very clear as to what you are looking for and offer and anybody into you who'd want to know more or meet will reply, believe me. Shoot and forget!

However keep a lid on your assumptions: "what we all came here to do" is really not one thing or the same thing for everyone. Nobody owes you a reply because you think you are compatible and you paid attention, and vice versa, you don't owe anybody your attention. Forget politeness, it is irrelevant. Keep your search up, concentrate on the responsive ones, hope you get some connections soon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got chastised by one guy recently for replying politely declining.

Apparently any reply is showing the person attention, which I was then informed was wrong and implied I was leading him on."

You hussy! Shaking your "no thanks" message in his face like that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If someone put this effort in then I'd reply even if it was a no thanks. It's the ones without effort I don't bother with but you can see when someone has made a genuine effort. I often get thanked for the reply and told its unusual but there's not that many that make an effort so for me it's a polite thing to do that takes little time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry Bikegent...it is the nature of the beast.

The power ultimately lies with the women due to us blokes being in the vast majority!.......

Ah but woman want to be treated with respect except she they don't

But in answer to the OP a no answer and deleted is a not intrested

I just block them so I don't bother them again

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This OP is the story of my life here on this site!

I have also taken the time to read, note and politely approach, without success! I no longer jump through hoops to meet women here, as I am convinced it can be a waste of time! However what I do find is that fabs is only good for keeping in-touch with women I have already 'broke-the-ice' with in clubs prior.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

A polite "f**k orf" is much better

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"This OP is the story of my life here on this site!

When visible my profile clearly sets out what I'm looking for/offering. There's absolutely no ambiguity.

I was contacted by some the polar opposite of what I was looking for. After looking at his profile and ascertaining he hadn't read my profile or he wouldnt have wasted his time, he started a thread about the rude women on site who delete well thought out, polite messages.

I'm nmconvinced people are being ignored because in their mind they think they're a perfect match, when in reality they aren't.

Anyone who meets my criteria gets a response. In seven years no abuse or why not because after I say no, I don't read anything else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said indeed. What the same people who demand such high standards / rules / requirements / hoop jumping, don't understand is that a simple thanks but no thanks is not only polite, but in 99% of cases will satisfy the 'applicant' !

The no reply is actually more likely to fill up tgeir inbox with follow ups and newly constructed applications for the post of sex buddy extraordinaire ! Simple courtesy please !

"(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well said indeed. What the same people who demand such high standards / rules / requirements / hoop jumping, don't understand is that a simple thanks but no thanks is not only polite, but in 99% of cases will satisfy the 'applicant' !

The no reply is actually more likely to fill up tgeir inbox with follow ups and newly constructed applications for the post of sex buddy extraordinaire ! Simple courtesy please !

(deep breath... Ok... And..... go!)

So...

You like the look of a profile; the pics, the write up, the interests etc and you decide to make contact.

You take careful note of the age, height, build, ethnic and proximity preferences.

You check if they dislike beards or uncut willies.

You make sure you put the special phrase they request at the end of their spiel to show you actually read the entire bio.

You dont send a cock pic because they are of the devil and this isnt a sex site.

Despite your own need for privacy you obediently send a face to pic because: 'No face pic no reply'.

You literally jump through cyberspace fire hoops to simply express to someone here that you think you and them doing what we all came here to do would be a good idea...

And whats the result?

Hmmm?

What return do you get from that investment? Hmmm?

I'll tell you: Nothing. No reply.

Message read and......... Deleted...

Is no response really a 'polite' no thank you? Or is it laziness?"

This whole thing is utter bollocks. Why would you jump through all those hoops if you don't want to? Why are any of you spending half an hour on your messages? What the hell do they say?! And what "return on investment" would you be getting on your precious time (which, for some reason, you believe to be worth more than mine) through a reply saying "no thanks"? And are there really really that many women and couples you're attracted to that you message? Really? I don't believe that for a minute. Anyone who is spending more than a cursory amount of time sending out speculative messages is treating it as an any hole's a goal game.

This site is chock full of men and I'm not particularly picky and I still find one a month I'd actually like to meet, if that. Fuck me, 30 minutes a month messaging? Yeah I'm definitely owed a return on that investment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its not just men though.

I hardly ever reply to women who message me as they're not my type.

I genuinly see no reason to reply to

"Hi. X"

Regardless of the gender who sent it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The no reply is actually more likely to fill up tgeir inbox with follow ups and newly constructed applications for the post of sex buddy extraordinaire ! Simple courtesy please !

Except as has been pointed out when they say "no thanks" to you.

When they decide to block men, or couples or women or people outside rhier age range etc anyone they replied to can message them regardless of filters

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If someone put this effort in then I'd reply even if it was a no thanks. It's the ones without effort I don't bother with but you can see when someone has made a genuine effort. I often get thanked for the reply and told its unusual but there's not that many that make an effort so for me it's a polite thing to do that takes little time. "
.

This

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP I think the lesson to take from this is to not invest so much on any single profile or first contact message. Half an hour to write a message? A short paragraph or even a single sentence saying you are interested and would like to talk/meet is plenty - your profile is very clear as to what you are looking for and offer and anybody into you who'd want to know more or meet will reply, believe me. Shoot and forget!

Thank you. (don't let the lack of veris fool you. I meet just not always from this site).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not sure why such a high proportion of responses on this thread have a condescending tone.

Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Eventually it comes down to trying your best to have fun and a lot of luck!

I do think a

THANKS BUT NO THANKS

Button, to quick reply with would be a good idea.

Sid

sounds a good idea...could change the bitching topics for fab...keeping it more alive

On a more serious note. It's actually a very good idea if you step outside the whole 'no reply is not rude says FAB' rhetoric.

It certainly wouldn't feel like your face has been smashed following through the door behind an ignorant person. Also it would save time...One button and it could act as a block to further replies too...

This has been asked over the years though and fab obviously isn't interested in trying it out so....back to face smashing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages..."

Can you not tell the difference between:

- having to spend time on tedious sex site admin replying to guys that you don't ever want to meet who are likely to th and draw you into a conversation about how you're missing out before calling you a fat slag that they wouldn't fuck in a million years.

- spending time doing something social that you enjoy, i.e. Writing on Internet forums, which might lead to you having sex with someone that you do like.

You really can't tell the difference between those things?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages..."

no. People have a difference of opinion that it isn't impolite. They aren't condoning being impolite. There's a difference.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages..."

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks."

*looks up at the sky with index finger on chin and nods in contemplative agreement*

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages..."

When visible as I've stated, my profile is crystal clear, no ambiguity as to what I'm seeking ie single, straight, tall, 45+, local, sexually submissive, white men. I even add I will not respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for.

Are you seriously telling me if I receive a "well thought out" message from a married, bisexual, dwarf, 39 years old black Dom living in Timbukto I should reply?!!

Yeah...right!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks."

What a load of sanctimonious shite. Seriously, get over it. This "woe is me, no one sends me polite messages telling me the reasons why they aren't attracted to me" stuff is deeply unattractive. And it's even more unattractive being told the people choosing not to reply (for whatever reason they see fit) are impolite, having cold sex, and lack manners and courtesy or have been badly brought up. As for spending time writing posts on the forum, that's because I want to. I don't want to spend time writing replies to those I'm not interested in. I don't particularly care if I might hurt their little feelings by not doing so, because I'm not attracted to men who would get so butthurt over such a minor thing.

And the OP never came back on my questions about why in gods name he was spending so long messaging people anyway. There are not that many women and couples. There are not that many you actually find attractive, there just aren't. If hours of your life are taken up sending messages then all that says to me is that you're messaging anyone you think you might have a chance with, which makes me even less inclined to want to reply. Mmm, desperation, that's sexy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

Not like you to be so restrained and sit on the fence Ruby, tell us what you really think!

Joking aside, spot on!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP if you don't agree with the FAQ that no reply is a polite no thank you then maybe leave and join a site that the ratio of men:women isnt ridiculously high.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

Think you illustrated one of my points. Your lengthy response here obviously touched a nerve as you vent for defensive response and secondly the time spent at it could have been the same time spent sending 30 or 50 polite thanks but no thank you. Most single guys would accept that. It's not the majority as often implied that don't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

Definitely not sanctimonious....Just a commonly seen attribute on fab by some.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

I'd love to you reply to my post above. Thanks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orwegian BlueMan over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Does it really matter?

Just move on...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading all those against a simple no thank you reply because it takes up so much of their precious time yet some have written numerous paragraphs on here in a response. ...wow.

This I find is quite common across fab...some are keyboard warriors who can't be arsed me thinks..

Quite hilarious is it not? Instead of being objective about the issue they choose to cast negative and unfounded aspersions about a persons experience on fab.

The mind actually boggles (it literally does this

) to think that people are condoning being impolite when it comes to something as personal and intimate as sexual intercourse.

And again for the record I am not referring to the wanna fuck now messages...

Maybe it's just cold sex. Maybe it's different on fab but in life the way one talks and responds illustrates their nature.

I think that's where people get it mixed up. For some fab is real life...For some it's fantasy...For others it's denial....Each are different and each will have different responses.

We all, new and old timers sometimes forget that.

I sometimes wonder though how some find the transition back into real life where most expect courtesy. I guess one can always learn new tricks.

I didn't illustrate your point at all because I've never claimed I "don't have time" to answer messages or that I don't reply because get abusive responses to them. I don't answer messages from those I'm not interested in because I don't want to. There is nothing more to it than that.

I'm not defensive, I just think you are completely wrong and isn't the point of a forum to discuss ideas? What was I supposed to do, just roll over and go "oh yes, you've made such a powerful and convincing argument that I will definitely answer all my messages from now on?"

No one has yet given me a convincing case about why logging in to an empty mailbox is worse than logging in to a string of "thanks but no" messages. I treat others as I'd like to be treated and that's by not having my time wasted reading messages telling me they're not interested in me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them."

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

And if I've chosen not to reply Ruby and Interupted am I being polite or lazy?

That I haven't responded and you've both brought up the fact that I haven't sound like you both a bit...erm what the phrase?...butthurt by it?

But fear not a response is forthcoming

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And if I've chosen not to reply Ruby and Interupted am I being polite or lazy?

That I haven't responded and you've both brought up the fact that I haven't sound like you both a bit...erm what the phrase?...butthurt by it?

But fear not a response is forthcoming

I'm not sure you understand the difference between a mailbox and a forum thread in that case. But I'm waiting with bated breath, obviously.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lord the typos

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering..."

Sadly not.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy."

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering...

Sadly not. "

Maybe ask in a new post for guys..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy."

Odd. The post you're replying to, and the opening post, don't specifically target women. In fact, I struggle to see any gender bias in those posts save for the genders of the posters themselves.

Care to explain why you think the comment applies to women only?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Eventually it comes down to trying your best to have fun and a lot of luck!

I do think a

THANKS BUT NO THANKS

Button, to quick reply with would be a good idea.

Sid

sounds a good idea...could change the bitching topics for fab...keeping it more alive

On a more serious note. It's actually a very good idea if you step outside the whole 'no reply is not rude says FAB' rhetoric.

This has been asked over the years though and fab obviously isn't interested in trying it out so....back to face smashing

Or they know people will still moan so it's a case of damned if you do damned if you don't. Given it's a free site and upgrades are only voluntary funds to implement new changes are limited much better to spend that money elsewhere than on a system that will still get bitched about.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets."

I'm glad this guy has it covered on the "how women should spend their time" front!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets."

Most do both spends their time in the forums and plan meets with people that match what their looking for and don't waste time on the ones that don't, surely you can see that's the point you're debating against

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Recently said no thank you to someone and we got an abusive message back and nasty comments on our appearance. This is why people don't bother replying and just block if they're not interested x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

Odd. The post you're replying to, and the opening post, don't specifically target women. In fact, I struggle to see any gender bias in those posts save for the genders of the posters themselves.

Care to explain why you think the comment applies to women only?"

It's defensive rhetoric and maybe repeated, and becomes lost in translation over the years.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering...

Sadly not.

Maybe ask in a new post for guys..

I was asking to see if their was a valid reason as to why we should feel compelled to reply to all messages. That is in the context of this thread and I'm not interested enough to start my own unnecessary thread.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*there

Coffee not kicked in yet!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets.

I have a number of meets planned for February. Spending time arguing with people in the forums hasn't stopped me doing that. I've even had some messages deleted without reply during that time too, which was devastating, obviously.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's too many messages to respond to. No response = no thank you. Don't be offended, you didn't do anything wrong. Just be concerned with your replies. It's that simple.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

I did a bulk delete last night

This morning I've got 37 new messages all asking me if I'd like to meet at some point today.

Anyone care to read my profile and tell me their mistake? Then Tell me why they would be justified a 'polite' no thanks?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering...

Sadly not.

Maybe ask in a new post for guys..

Because someone has decided, against the common consensus, it is the polite thing to do.

Have you even read the thread?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So do we know why it's better to have an inbox full of no thank yous yet? ...just wondering...

Sadly not.

Maybe ask in a new post for guys..

No one is compelled to do anything... I don't see where the OP stated that... different points were being made by different people. Some good suggestions as to help the situation... Just as with good points to help the over run inbox.

1. Suggestion...Take on board different views rather than attactive responses that many have done. Openness is a good thing.

Now back to sex...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's too many messages to respond to. No response = no thank you. Don't be offended, you didn't do anything wrong. Just be concerned with your replies. It's that simple. "

I agree, I think some to my replies the wrong way and personalised them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its the Fab version of walking through a door and not being bothered to look over your shoulder to see if someones about to have the door slam into their face..."
what is it with me and doors lmao

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets.

I agree with you....I just thought it funny how multiple 3 minute attacking resonses on a forum which they probably would have been best not entering took precedent over a 2 second no thank you to someone looking for what they too are looking for....sex..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *is_Collared_SubWoman over a year ago

London

I always respond to a message like the one you describe

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meh. You guys can think I'm impolite if you like. Site guidelines state it isn't impolite. I'm using this site to amuse myself, not appease others. My existence on here is no worse off and just as enjoyable as it always has been by continuing to ignore those messages I'm not interested in. Perhaps those that get annoyed with no replies would have a happier time if they too followed the site guidelines and accepted that no reply isn't impolite. Their experiences might be a little happier too.....just a suggestion. I don't care either way as it doesn't affect me.

Now I've done with debating this morning. I've got a long overdue meet to arrange

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its the Fab version of walking through a door and not being bothered to look over your shoulder to see if someones about to have the door slam into their face...what is it with me and doors lmao"

I gotta stop chasing disused parked cars...flat faced every time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some have now taken it all personal and become defensively offensive.

It's sad one can't see others can have a different view without it being personal and attack them.

Nothing personal here.

Just wondering why you think women here should spend time doing something they don't enjoy instead of something they do enjoy.

I was wondering that very question about the time spent in attactive responses on forums. Though it be better to plan meets.

A) my responses don't take 3 minutes

B) I like posting on the forum, I don't like "polite" inbox admin

C) even if I did, I have no messages to reply to

D) so why are you posting here instead of focusing on messaging women for sex?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's too many messages to respond to. No response = no thank you. Don't be offended, you didn't do anything wrong. Just be concerned with your replies. It's that simple.

I agree, I think some to my replies the wrong way and personalised them."

Nobody personalised them. I'm this argumentative and belligerent with everyone who is making a useless case.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Closing door gently on my way out...Have a meet later. Happy fabbing everyone and remember what it's all about...respect.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its the Fab version of walking through a door and not being bothered to look over your shoulder to see if someones about to have the door slam into their face...what is it with me and doors lmao

No, it's the Fab version of people seemingly thinking it's better to walk through the door, check out who is following you through it, and if you're not attracted to them saying "thanks but no" and THEN letting the door shut in their face. Apparently that's better.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This topic comes up multiple times a day. I've heard every argument possible and I still can't understand why people get so butthurt about it."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Basically, if you're getting shitted off over a no reply, then you're not the guy for me anyway...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If people take the time to send us a message we always reply as that is our choice to do so.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Basically, if you're getting shitted off over a no reply, then you're not the guy for me anyway... "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did a bulk delete last night

This morning I've got 37 new messages all asking me if I'd like to meet at some point today.

Anyone care to read my profile and tell me their mistake? Then Tell me why they would be justified a 'polite' no thanks? "

untick that you're looking for men and you won't show up on their searches. Not a filter and it won't make them read your profile or searching in other ways but we find it helps...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)