FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you enjoy verbal abuse during sex?
Do you enjoy verbal abuse during sex?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In reply to your question .. yes I love it. The filthier the better but the only word I save for the bedroom is C**t. I dont use it anywhere else. Whore, slut and anything that is derogatory really gets me going. If the guy wants me to give him verbal abuse im happy to do so. It really does intensify sex and orgasms come easily when using such words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anything that is too personal, ie. family members perhaps or anything that is sensitive ..but if it only involves me then I have no problem what is said. Although its only the usual comments we have commented on. What other comments did you have in mind? What does a woman call the guy if hes into that? I had one guy who wanted me to call him derogatory names but i could only think of whore or bitch.. not really good enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference. "
It's not for me |
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I couldnt see me getting off on a Woman calling me names, unless it's your thing I recon most men would rather have compliments,
I don't mine Women talking dirty as long as they are not going over the top and shouting too loud, It would just put me off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think the verbal abuse a woman can give to a man is probably more kink specific?
So perhaps males who enjoy being taunted about the inadequate size of there eqequipment? Or perhaps slightly more popularly the use of the n word by a white female or other when with a black male? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the verbal abuse a woman can give to a man is probably more kink specific?
So perhaps males who enjoy being taunted about the inadequate size of there eqequipment? Or perhaps slightly more popularly the use of the n word by a white female or other when with a black male?"
Its still derogatory but only in the bedroom. I just think its such a turn on and makes me feel dirty which I love. In serious relationship I never practised it but since being on fabs I have dabbled in it and I really do love it but not many men do or they try and say it but i end up laughing because it doesnt sound convincing enough.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dirty talk's OK, but I wouldn't direct derogatory terms or talk toward my Mrs. And I know neither of us would want those we would play with to direct it in her direction either.
Thin line that it is, again it's all down to personal choice. |
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By *exatooCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura |
"In reply to your question .. yes I love it. The filthier the better but the only word I save for the bedroom is C**t. I dont use it anywhere else. Whore, slut and anything that is derogatory really gets me going. If the guy wants me to give him verbal abuse im happy to do so. It really does intensify sex and orgasms come easily when using such words."
This  especially the C word, and I'm the same, used when fucking but nowhere else |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference. "
in the context that such words are being used its not derogatory at all its mental stimulating designed to heighten sexual excitement and pleasure in my opinion .
I've been told I'm a real dirty bastard during sex because if I'm fully engaged I can be very vocal and demanding 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can you possibly detail why normally negative derogatory words of displeasure would heighten and actually perhaps be the cherry on top in a very intimate pleasurable scenario?
How does what is heard connect with what is being felt downstairs or wherever in your case. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Can you possibly detail why normally negative derogatory words of displeasure would heighten and actually perhaps be the cherry on top in a very intimate pleasurable scenario?
How does what is heard connect with what is being felt downstairs or wherever in your case."
really fella sex is a mental thing chemicals are released into the brain during foreplay and sexual intercourse our biggest sex organ is our brains not our genitals . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you possibly detail why normally negative derogatory words of displeasure would heighten and actually perhaps be the cherry on top in a very intimate pleasurable scenario?
How does what is heard connect with what is being felt downstairs or wherever in your case."
Well for me I like being a slut but it's not very acceptable in the vanilla world, when he says such things to me it taps into what I desire to be at that time, a slut!...its accepted it's ok and he gets off on it to x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fully aware of that friend. 
You'll note I addressed a particular contributor and enquired about the process specific to her experience of it.
The generic explanation you've so generously provided is all well and good but everyone's experience of everything is different and unique and that's what I'm interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks.
So am I right to say that the abuse isn't merely saying things because theyre naughty? You enjoy hearing them because you connect with them. You actually desire to be and physically behave in the manner of the names he calls you at that moment in time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything that is too personal, ie. family members perhaps or anything that is sensitive ..but if it only involves me then I have no problem what is said. Although its only the usual comments we have commented on. What other comments did you have in mind? What does a woman call the guy if hes into that? I had one guy who wanted me to call him derogatory names but i could only think of whore or bitch.. not really good enough."
Oh there are many words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go for it!"
Me personally, when in that role where I am being verbally degraded, most of them have been to emasculate me, so the usual nasty words then abuse about being a failure a waste of space worthless, interseresed with slut whore tramp etc etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Great.
When it's the first time or if it comes unexpectedly do you a slight double take, process it and then gallop along at triple speed with wild abandon? I do! (Psml) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you guys think verbal abuse is more suited among swingers as they are more likely to actually behave in the manner that befits the abuse they are receiving than people belonging to the vanilla world?
(Not casting judgement here or making hard and fast rules.) |
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Think in the whole swinger lifestyle we're just more open to test kinks, push boundaries etc.
For me I enjoy rather surprisingly being called a slut, a sort of role play that I can step into. In normal life is probably slap anyone that said that to me lol.
As for Cuck he enjoys the humiliation and inadequate role play feeling as well as being made to feel a slut etc. It's all a game and test, try what you enjoy xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I totally agree. The swinger's brain is wired that way.
I think too though that intimacy must be similarly enhanced among vanilla couples who dabble in verbal abuse as it would most definitely be role play for them and never materialise to anything more all the time they remain vanilla. (Am I stating the obvious?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I totally agree. The swinger's brain is wired that way.
I think too though that intimacy must be similarly enhanced among vanilla couples who dabble in verbal abuse as it would most definitely be role play for them and never materialise to anything more all the time they remain vanilla. (Am I stating the obvious?)"
So really what you're saying is folk either like it or not regardless of whether they are swingers or vanilla ( fucking hate that term) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck me, you fucking bastard. Yeah right there, you cunt."
If a woman uttered those words while we were having filthy, rough(ish) sex, I'd probably cum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly the same with me! But with the racial twist?? "
I think if a woman used the N word with me that I'd zip up and go home*! That's more of an insult. However, if she replaced the N word with black, I wouldn't be that bothered.
*I'm mixed race |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been told off for saying some words but it's a joy to behold when a lady has the gift of saying foul language combined with timing.
An, example is the type of Woman that would say a combination of these words but with NO feeling or emotion?
She might as well say the contents of the weekly Shopping List...!!!
With, dirty talk it's in the following categories:
1). She doesn't like it, therefore is a Romantic in the Chocolates & Flowers type variety.
2). Might like it but needs to be prepared well before Sex as it's a mixture of self-awareness meeting upbringing that such expression is a taboo.
3). Just wrong in that the woman will use expression that's dirty but it's like a challenge to the Man.
This isn't erotic, now I can understand why it's said but for me the Woman must always have an seductive erotic side rather than using belittling comments even with the foul language.
Don't emasculate cause he will NOT ejaculate.
4). Now, the "Rita & Sue" types that are dirty minded & KNOW the workings of Men's kink e.g: What makes him drain his entire ball-sack.
They will say all types of foul language some of which might even shock leading to limp dick.
Personally, I love those "Rita & Sue" types but they can intimidate some Men. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference. "
No
Break his neck in two if he did |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol ok understood.
Can I ask though. Do you behave in a slutty flithy manner at all when you play with whoever? Especially perhaps with the intention of intensifying the experience for him?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does the verbal abuse your cuckold receives enhance the experience for you as an observer? If so please explain how?
Could a bull be non verbally abusive to both of you and still deliver satisfactorily? Or is it an essential part of your playtime? |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Lol ok understood.
Can I ask though. Do you behave in a slutty flithy manner at all when you play with whoever? Especially perhaps with the intention of intensifying the experience for him?
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I only dress up Slutty for a meet not act Slutty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference.
in the context that such words are being used its not derogatory at all its mental stimulating designed to heighten sexual excitement and pleasure in my opinion .
I've been told I'm a real dirty bastard during sex because if I'm fully engaged I can be very vocal and demanding
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This....I don't see it as verbal abuse, I see it as mental stimulation and a huge turn on, like you've said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a big part of sex for me. I love lots of verbal. Can understand some women don't like it but I use the word cunt a lot when I fuck. I love calling a woman a dirty fucking slut/whore as I fuck her..especially if the sex is nice and rough. I love her to give it back too..call me a filthy dirty cunt as I am rimming her or giving her oral etc. I love making a woman feel really dirty if that's her thing. I love it me!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By the way am not a woman hater or anything like that and have total respect for women but it's just how I like sex. Outside the bedroom it's totally different. |
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"In reply to your question .. yes I love it. The filthier the better but the only word I save for the bedroom is C**t. I dont use it anywhere else. Whore, slut and anything that is derogatory really gets me going. If the guy wants me to give him verbal abuse im happy to do so. It really does intensify sex and orgasms come easily when using such words."
Love it when it gets the girl going, like to receive it too but it can get too much sumtimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By the way am not a woman hater or anything like that and have total respect for women but it's just how I like sex. Outside the bedroom it's totally different."
I totally get you. I have men that talk dirty in the bedroom. It's not abuse, it's sexy and fun. People don't seem to get that it's just a type of role play almost. Outside the bedroom they are the perfect gent, and treat me with upmost respect. |
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"I have dabbled in it and I really do love it but not many men do or they try and say it but I end up laughing because it doesnt sound convincing enough.
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I've tried it recently too, usually I've not got enough conviction, but with the right person, telling her she dirty, and what she's going to get and she shivers with antisipation. Which is very encouraging. And has lead me to be more vocal with others. Also leading to positive results. And now I quite enjoy it.  |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Just curious as to the thoughts on giving and receiving verbal abuse and derogatory comments to intensify sex. E.g. c word, n word, slut, drity, worthless etc as well as whatever else you guys might enjoy. Examples please but please try not to be offensive in how you explain your preference. "
It's a no from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love being called names, not worthless though. Just the things he would never call me out of the bedroom, at that moment in time I'm his whatever he wants me to be x |
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Not really for me to be honest op!
I was with a guy at the weekend who seemed to want a constant 'porn style ' dialogue and wanted us both to 'talk dirty' all the time! Tbh after a while it pissed me off a bit and put me off the sex - which was good other than that! I like to be left to enjoy the sensation of sex - and I'm a noisy lover anyway 'along the lines of 'oh fuck yesssss oh fuuuuuuckk' rather than a particular dialog!
I'm not into 'pretending to be a porn star' though - and I'm not into being called derogatory names by guys - even though I'm a fan of hard rough(ish) sex, anal etc! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In reply to your question .. yes I love it. The filthier the better but the only word I save for the bedroom is C**t. I dont use it anywhere else. Whore, slut and anything that is derogatory really gets me going. If the guy wants me to give him verbal abuse im happy to do so. It really does intensify sex and orgasms come easily when using such words."
Agreed, has to be a two way street also or three way or more way! Communication is key! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really for me to be honest op!
I was with a guy at the weekend who seemed to want a constant 'porn style ' dialogue and wanted us both to 'talk dirty' all the time! Tbh after a while it pissed me off a bit and put me off the sex - which was good other than that! I like to be left to enjoy the sensation of sex - and I'm a noisy lover anyway 'along the lines of 'oh fuck yesssss oh fuuuuuuckk' rather than a particular dialog!
I'm not into 'pretending to be a porn star' though - and I'm not into being called derogatory names by guys - even though I'm a fan of hard rough(ish) sex, anal etc! "
For you i'd make an exception and call you sugar plum fairy or whatever you liked! |
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"Not really for me to be honest op!
I was with a guy at the weekend who seemed to want a constant 'porn style ' dialogue and wanted us both to 'talk dirty' all the time! Tbh after a while it pissed me off a bit and put me off the sex - which was good other than that! I like to be left to enjoy the sensation of sex - and I'm a noisy lover anyway 'along the lines of 'oh fuck yesssss oh fuuuuuuckk' rather than a particular dialog!
I'm not into 'pretending to be a porn star' though - and I'm not into being called derogatory names by guys - even though I'm a fan of hard rough(ish) sex, anal etc!
For you i'd make an exception and call you sugar plum fairy or whatever you liked! "
Aw thanks sweetie! I may just take you up on that one day!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks.
So am I right to say that the abuse isn't merely saying things because theyre naughty? You enjoy hearing them because you connect with them. You actually desire to be and physically behave in the manner of the names he calls you at that moment in time?"
How do you mean behave in the manner of the names being called? You could be in a fullfilling monogomous relationship and still like being called a slut or whore but it doesnt mean you connect or behave in that manner when you have sex and im not sure how a whore or slut is meant to behave whilst having sex.. shes no different to a married woman perhaps in what she likes?
I have some morals but when a guy starts to call me a slut or whore whilst having sex it just gets me going .. i have no idea why.
I can enjoy sex without it and do many times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks.
So am I right to say that the abuse isn't merely saying things because theyre naughty? You enjoy hearing them because you connect with them. You actually desire to be and physically behave in the manner of the names he calls you at that moment in time?
How do you mean behave in the manner of the names being called? You could be in a fullfilling monogomous relationship and still like being called a slut or whore but it doesnt mean you connect or behave in that manner when you have sex and im not sure how a whore or slut is meant to behave whilst having sex.. shes no different to a married woman perhaps in what she likes?
I have some morals but when a guy starts to call me a slut or whore whilst having sex it just gets me going .. i have no idea why.
I can enjoy sex without it and do many times "
So gutted we cant have fun lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The English language is complex enough and now we are onto the subject of language used before or during sex.
Myself I look at it like this, we have no bad words in the English dictionary, just words used in the wrong context and at the wrong time.
" I am going to fuck you! "
it has two different meanings, if told to me by a hot wife, fantastic, if told to me by an angry club wielding d*unk, not so good.
it is all about, when, where and by who. |
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I seriously get off on this kind of thing.
I'm quite a confident, self assured kind of person who naturally takes the lead in most situations, so it is a great tool to make me feel more submissive towards someone. Providing the genuine attraction and respect is there, then I'll enjoy being degraded on pretty much anything at all. The crueller it is the more arousing it is to me. If this happened outside of play it would be a completely different story, but in play I absolutely love it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I seriously get off on this kind of thing.
I'm quite a confident, self assured kind of person who naturally takes the lead in most situations, so it is a great tool to make me feel more submissive towards someone. Providing the genuine attraction and respect is there, then I'll enjoy being degraded on pretty much anything at all. The crueller it is the more arousing it is to me. If this happened outside of play it would be a completely different story, but in play I absolutely love it. "
Like that phrase a great tool. I.e. it serves a purpose. Its irrelevant whether it's true or not. in your case it assists in facilitating/generating a particular type of experience/mindset which would exist as easily otherwise |
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Like that phrase a great tool. I.e. it serves a purpose. Its irrelevant whether it's true or not. in your case it assists in facilitating/generating a particular type of experience/mindset which wouldn't exist as easily otherwise "
You've hit the nail on the head! I find things that have some basis in truth are more powerful tools, but ultimately it's all about reinforcing the dynamic that's being played with. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
There are two different things here. Enjoying verbal abuse is a very specific kink, which goes quite a bit further than enjoying humiliating or degrading language.
They both lend themselves to the realm of sub/dom play, but you will find people who enjoy the former are nowhere near as common as people who enjoy the latter.
As a couple, we love using slut, bitch, whore, cunt etc with each other and the women we play with, but the intent is to humiliate in a way that is found erotic, not abusive. With the right mindset they are all beautifully sexual words, rather than abusive ones.
For an example, there is a link to the story of our first meet at the end of our profile, it gives a flavour of how we like to talk during play. It's certainly not for everyone, but for the women who do, it drives them wild. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are two different things here. Enjoying verbal abuse is a very specific kink, which goes quite a bit further than enjoying humiliating or degrading language.
They both lend themselves to the realm of sub/dom play, but you will find people who enjoy the former are nowhere near as common as people who enjoy the latter.
As a couple, we love using slut, bitch, whore, cunt etc with each other and the women we play with, but the intent is to humiliate in a way that is found erotic, not abusive. With the right mindset they are all beautifully sexual words, rather than abusive ones.
For an example, there is a link to the story of our first meet at the end of our profile, it gives a flavour of how we like to talk during play. It's certainly not for everyone, but for the women who do, it drives them wild."
Thanks for that expanded view |
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