FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married men and women looking for discrete low key meets
Married men and women looking for discrete low key meets
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By *obyuk OP Man
over a year ago
Brighton |
Whether you agree with this or not, everyone who is married but looking to play as a single has their own reasons for doing so...
I think we should respect each other's viewpoints even if we don't agree with them. Your business is your business, which is key on a swingers site & if it's not for you then move on. Nobody needs to be or likes to be morally judged, as a Married person looking you just don't need it...you've questioned that in your own mind already and happy to go ahead, that's a personal decision
I've seen both men & women who are attached looking for secret, private discrete fun here...but there's no way of filtering them out using the current site filters
Often married people want to meet other married people, for a number of reasons.:
1. The other person understands you viewpoint and is often in the same position as you
2. A married person meeting another married person has a level of discretion just as important to both parties
3. Nobody needs to be morally judged & made to feel like shit...
I'm sure there's as many more reasons as there are people married but looking, after all we are all unique
I think there should be a married but looking & don't mind meeting married people filter On the site
Thoughts are welcome x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You make a strong argument. I think POF have a similar feature "married but looking" ... I think thats what its called.
I agree though, should not judge, and i dont. One taboo is level with another. |
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"Who are these judgmental people you speak of ?
Surely on a site for people with an alternative lifestyle , being judgmental would be counterproductive  "
No such thing as a non judgemental person we all do it in some level |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who are these judgmental people you speak of ?
Surely on a site for people with an alternative lifestyle , being judgmental would be counterproductive
No such thing as a non judgemental person we all do it in some level "
Not me ..... I only judge people that can't cook |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust."
Absolutely spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If only life was as simple as that....so black and white."
We have to agree with that.
There are people who are in a situation because they are a victim of their circumstances. We have chatted privately to a few of these before, and they know our view that circumstances are very difficult for them.
However there are also a lot a people on here purely for selfish reasons.
There is a massive difference between the two, and hence we totally agree that this world and these circumstances are not always black and white.
Our humble opinion of course! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The filter would be an option but I guarentee you many won't use it honestly"
They would if the judgement posse's didn't descend on them like a ton of bricks.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I don't want to meet a married person...my choice  "
Exactly, it is your choice. And that's fine.
It's when people take the moral highground and ram it down peoples throats, that's the issue. |
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"The filter would be an option but I guarentee you many won't use it honestly
They would if the judgement posse's didn't descend on them like a ton of bricks. "
They wouldn't regardless look at how many "non smokers" they're are on the site just because checking that box instead of the smoking one improves their chances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you are walking in someone's shoes you have no idea what circumstances bring them here.....who are we to judge another anyway?
"
We agree totally, circumstances can bring you to places that you would never have chosen.
However there are some who are here out of plain old greed and that is not so acceptable, but again only our opinion.
Sometimes voicing an opinion is taking as judging, when it is only voicing an opinion. |
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By *obyuk OP Man
over a year ago
Brighton |
All valid points like I said we are all unique....and entitled to our opinions
That's cool, but I think we shouldn't frown on others we don't agree with...some replies are quite biting...boarder lining on showing disgust, if it's not for you then a polite reply is suffice
It would interesting to have the opinion from a married female playing away...
You'll probably find men aren't as scornful... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also a question to couples....
If a married woman approached you, would you meet & play with her regardless of her situation?
"
If we decided to start playing with others.
No. |
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By *obyuk OP Man
over a year ago
Brighton |
Well therein lies my point...
Surely a married but looking & don't mind meeting "married singles" filter would help in that the people who don't agree would be filtered out
Better for all in my opinion...
The people who don't Wish to be contacted won't and the person searching will not be morally judged dy those that don't mind... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you are walking in someone's shoes you have no idea what circumstances bring them here.....who are we to judge another anyway?
"
Just out of interest, would you judge a murderer or paedophile as being evil?
Surely not, as you've not walked in their shoes. Why send them to prison? We don't know what they've been through  |
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What I really don't like are married men pestering despite a no...I also dislike the smug married women and I know a few, who are living in la la land if they think their husband who they refuse to fuck is not fucking others.
I had the balls in my situation to separate. Its hard and painful for all concerned. |
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I think what annoys people ,is others starting threads looking for approval to cheat.There are many attached men and women on fab,who just get on with things rather than trying to justify what they are doing.
Miss |
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By *ustMe06Woman
over a year ago
...the naughty spot. |
If someone is open about being married, although I don't agree, I think...that's their business...we're all adults, I can make my choices they theirs, fine.
Someone who meets a person in those circumstances, makes an informed choice...
If they lie, that's different...how about (for instance) if that persons wife (or gf/bf/husband) finds out and comes to your door, shouting the odds, or is even violent? So, you find yourself in a potentially dangerous situation through no fault of your own...Therefore I feel quite aggrieved when people say, it's on their heads...its not... |
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By *obyuk OP Man
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I think what annoys people ,is others starting threads looking for approval to cheat.There are many attached men and women on fab,who just get on with things rather than trying to justify what they are doing."
Most married but looking people are looking for no strings no drama discrete encounters I would guess....
With regards to the people who just get on with it well, I'm sure they come across people who disagree with their situation too...it's inevitable when it is not clear to the preference of the persons they are contacting as they are not shown x |
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By *obyuk OP Man
over a year ago
Brighton |
Let's not forget this conversation is not about the morality behind the situation that's personal preference as someone said earlier, opinions can be taken as judgement...
The reality is there are people in this situation and it would be nice to be able to communicate with others on an understanding or with an acceptance x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""I think what annoys people ,is others starting threads looking for approval to cheat.There are many attached men and women on fab,who just get on with things rather than trying to justify what they are doing."
Most married but looking people are looking for no strings no drama discrete encounters I would guess....
With regards to the people who just get on with it well, I'm sure they come across people who disagree with their situation too...it's inevitable when it is not clear to the preference of the persons they are contacting as they are not shown x"
Being honest, in our opinion there will always be people who disagree with their situation, but by keeping it low profile and not bring attention to themselves on the Forum will mean that there will be a lot less of those disagreeing people around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed. Marriage is complex and long-term and sometimes some release away from it helps things along nicely. We don't mind married people contacting us at all, although those who do mind don't offend us.
I think the OP is entirely reasonable, though I think being honest helps. Are you single, married but cheating, married but free to see other people? Say so up front and it helps.
Main thing is that we are all here to get our own satisfaction. Get stuck in! |
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"Also a question to couples....
If a married woman approached you, would you meet & play with her regardless of her situation?
"
I have had married women mail me for a meet, her husband knowing nothing about her being on here.
She said that sex with another woman didn't count as cheating, but wouldn't meet men as that definitely was cheating.
I politely declined. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I respect fully that some folk hate cheaters.
It would be nice to have some sort of icon like the blue dot for people who won't meet attached.
This would save said cheaters messaging those people and wasting their time.
I understand people will lie but still think it would help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you are walking in someone's shoes you have no idea what circumstances bring them here.....who are we to judge another anyway?
Just out of interest, would you judge a murderer or paedophile as being evil?
Surely not, as you've not walked in their shoes. Why send them to prison? We don't know what they've been through "
With respect the comment you quoted was in response to married people being on fab, that is a far cry from committing murder or paedophilia so your response doesn't really hold water ..... does it? |
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"I respect fully that some folk hate cheaters.
It would be nice to have some sort of icon like the blue dot for people who won't meet attached.
This would save said cheaters messaging those people and wasting their time.
I understand people will lie but still think it would help "
Most that won't say so in their profiles so if people actually read them it wouldn't be an issue |
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"I respect fully that some folk hate cheaters.
It would be nice to have some sort of icon like the blue dot for people who won't meet attached.
This would save said cheaters messaging those people and wasting their time.
I understand people will lie but still think it would help
Most that won't say so in their profiles so if people actually read them it wouldn't be an issue "
Spot on,was going metion this too.We have that we only look for actual couples ,but had people married to others who message.
Miss |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Also a question to couples....
If a married woman approached you, would you meet & play with her regardless of her situation?
I have had married women mail me for a meet, her husband knowing nothing about her being on here.
She said that sex with another woman didn't count as cheating, but wouldn't meet men as that definitely was cheating.
I politely declined."
We find this very odd ourselves, cheating is cheating the sex you do it with is irrelevant.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading "
Im so glad to read this post, my partner has a severe alcohol problem and can't /won't seek help
When she is sober she is the kindest sweetest most generous caring person i have ever met, but when d*unk is unrecognisable as the same person.
Countless people have advised me to leave her, but I love the person she can be, not the one she can't help being
Judge me or judge me not, i choose to stay and support her best as I can, but im not a monk and have human needs
And if a woman is in a bad place and we can enjoy each others company, then that's our business if we take some pleasure when we can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure where this idea that "nobody has the right to judge" came from. Of course we have the right. It's how we make our decisions. If we didn't all "judge" what was morally acceptable to us, what we would accept as safe, whether we found a person attractive or what we thought of someone's personality, how would we ever decide who to meet? We would all end up either fucking everyone, or no-one! But we do need the correct information to make these "judgements" so being mean about people with lifestyles or attributes you don't like becomes counter-productive, as people lie to maximise their chances or avoid negative attention... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Married people are free to do what they wish and hats off to the ones that are honest about it. If they choose to rome elsewhere it's their life and the consequence of that choice being wrong lies firmly with them.
In addition, no one can condemn others for making a choice as to whether to play with them or not. This might be from principle, past experience or any other reason.
Mainly, women want a guy who isn't accountable to someone else. They might be able to cover their tracks in the week but not weekends, it's not a bad thing to not want that lack of flexibility surely?
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"Married people are free to do what they wish and hats off to the ones that are honest about it. If they choose to rome elsewhere it's their life and the consequence of that choice being wrong lies firmly with them.
In addition, no one can condemn others for making a choice as to whether to play with them or not. This might be from principle, past experience or any other reason.
Mainly, women want a guy who isn't accountable to someone else. They might be able to cover their tracks in the week but not weekends, it's not a bad thing to not want that lack of flexibility surely?
"
It's my reason for not meeting them I need more meet flexibility than most married/attached people can offer. That and I want to feel like I'm with someone that I can truely relax with not someone clock watching and someone I can make a really effort for without them worrying about the smell of my perfume being left behind. All far too much hassle for my liking and why I say there's now such thing as NSA when it comes to married/attached people, because there's a massive string attached in the form of their spouse, wether they choose to see it that way or not is another matter |
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By *eeowlsMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
I would use the married but looking box but that's because I'm honest and that mrs dee knows I'm on here with her when she's well, but she also knows I'm on here looking for a meet alone not actively looking but here if by any chance a fem or cpl want to meet me alone xx even though I've not had much success x but hey!!! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of talk about how this functionality would encourage dishonesty.
It will if it is not implemented correctly.
What would work is if everyone had the option to tick whether they would be happy to meet someone who is cheating. That is to set the option on your own profile.
Its an opt in on your own profile setting. Then make it available to search and find people who havr opted in.
Simples!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of talk about how this functionality would encourage dishonesty.
It will if it is not implemented correctly.
What would work is if everyone had the option to tick whether they would be happy to meet someone who is cheating. That is to set the option on your own profile.
Its an opt in on your own profile setting. Then make it available to search and find people who havr opted in.
Simples!
"
 A winning idea I think |
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As I said earlier People would still lie about being married filigree or not the same as they do with smoking
No point in the site spending the little money they get from site supporters implementing a system that's a waste of time like that
Every person I've encountered that wont play with a cheat state it in their profile so simple solution is for everyone just to learn to read them |
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By *s2walesCouple
over a year ago
Gwent... |
"Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust."
Isn't part of the ceremony ' and disabling all others'. ???
We just no one and just do our own thing as we want to.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting read - can say I don't disagree with most - saying that when u get married people think it's for life - people change - some switch off - some realise life is too short
So what do the forum think when a cpl embrace the lifestyle and suddenly one partner decides it's not for them - ?  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Interesting read - can say I don't disagree with most - saying that when u get married people think it's for life - people change - some switch off - some realise life is too short
So what do the forum think when a cpl embrace the lifestyle and suddenly one partner decides it's not for them - ? "
I'm sure this happens a lot. If we were in that situation, we would both be happy to stop. Our relationship is far more important than this lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seriously... who are we to judge, whether single or in a relationship everyone on here is looking to achieve some form of gratification for their own reasons. As long as no one is hurt and everyone is consensual- what harm is done ?!? Enjoy life - you've only got one go at it ! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously... who are we to judge, whether single or in a relationship everyone on here is looking to achieve some form of gratification for their own reasons. As long as no one is hurt and everyone is consensual- what harm is done ?!? Enjoy life - you've only got one go at it ! x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously... who are we to judge, whether single or in a relationship everyone on here is looking to achieve some form of gratification for their own reasons. As long as no one is hurt and everyone is consensual- what harm is done ?!? Enjoy life - you've only got one go at it ! x"
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"Seriously... who are we to judge, whether single or in a relationship everyone on here is looking to achieve some form of gratification for their own reasons. As long as no one is hurt and everyone is consensual- what harm is done ?!? Enjoy life - you've only got one go at it ! x"
I think for some it's the point of when the cheaters caught out (they all do eventually) generally someone does get hurt potentially lots of people if kids are involved too. Some can switch of their conscience to that fact so they can still have fun, others can't. |
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What amazes me is all those that say "I'd never have sex with a cheater" yet go to clubs and will play with someone who's circumstances they do not know.. This just smacks of double standards.. Do as I say, not who I do!!
I know of a few couples on here where both parties are married and playing away, so even couples profiles are not an answer to no infidelity...
Finally, and from personal experience, If you don't agree with anothers circumstances, a polite no thank you is sufficient, a impolite I don't play with cheating Bastards is wholly unnecessary. |
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"Whether you agree with this or not, everyone who is married but looking to play as a single has their own reasons for doing so...
I think we should respect each other's viewpoints even if we don't agree with them. Your business is your business, which is key on a swingers site & if it's not for you then move on. Nobody needs to be or likes to be morally judged, as a Married person looking you just don't need it...you've questioned that in your own mind already and happy to go ahead, that's a personal decision
I've seen both men & women who are attached looking for secret, private discrete fun here...but there's no way of filtering them out using the current site filters
Often married people want to meet other married people, for a number of reasons.:
1. The other person understands you viewpoint and is often in the same position as you
2. A married person meeting another married person has a level of discretion just as important to both parties
3. Nobody needs to be morally judged & made to feel like shit...
I'm sure there's as many more reasons as there are people married but looking, after all we are all unique
I think there should be a married but looking & don't mind meeting married people filter On the site
Thoughts are welcome x
"
Well expressed post. Thanks. And include me in this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would use it. I make a point in my profile of being up front about it. The way i see it... if your honest, when you meet someone you wont be worrying that you may slip up. I also think anyone has a right to know so they can make an informed choice.
And yes being married and on here single makes it difficult. And many people wont meet as a result. But thats their choice. And no we arent all cheating scum. Each of us will have our own reasons which may be understandable if heard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust."
I agree wholeheartedly
It's a Forum
Forem or Against or no opinion
Gears turn Brain engaged
Or Not X
Cool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading
Im so glad to read this post, my partner has a severe alcohol problem and can't /won't seek help
When she is sober she is the kindest sweetest most generous caring person i have ever met, but when d*unk is unrecognisable as the same person.
Countless people have advised me to leave her, but I love the person she can be, not the one she can't help being
Judge me or judge me not, i choose to stay and support her best as I can, but im not a monk and have human needs
And if a woman is in a bad place and we can enjoy each others company, then that's our business if we take some pleasure when we can "
My Mrs Has a displacia and Neuropathy problem with her hip and lower back..That's apart from type 1 diabetic and ibs? Sex is not an option.. I love her more today for being her than I ever did
I could never leave her.. Anyone who feels the need to judge me.. Fine..fill yer boots. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a box where someone could tick to say that they wouldn't meet 'cheats' would be useful. Then I would know not to waste my time messaging with these people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What amazes me is all those that say "I'd never have sex with a cheater" yet go to clubs and will play with someone who's circumstances they do not know.. This just smacks of double standards.. Do as I say, not who I do!!
"
Exactly, but that's ok because they apparently aren't knowingly playing with a cheater. That's how they justify it to themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a box where someone could tick to say that they wouldn't meet 'cheats' would be useful. Then I would know not to waste my time messaging with these people.
"
High time some functionality like this got added..come on admin, lets get it done please! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading "
What would it do to here mental situation if she ever found out? I'm not judging each to there own but if your wife is mentally ill then maybe the time spent away with people of here could be spent supporting your wife. If you feel lonely at times then don't you think she may also feel like that. Wedding vows in sickness and health. God for bid but if she ever did find out it could ruin her mental for life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looking at it from a different point I would rather meet with the selfish ones who are just after extra sex. Not the ones where the one there meant to love is poorly or in a bad place to me there time should be spent helping the one they love not spent thing about the itch they need scratching and that goes for man or women. If my mrs was ill or in a bad place getting a shag would be the last thing on my mind. I would spend every possible minute trying to help her. But that is my opinion. |
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"Who are these judgmental people you speak of ?
Surely on a site for people with an alternative lifestyle , being judgmental would be counterproductive
No such thing as a non judgemental person we all do it in some level "
Exactly... spot on, well said that lady |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading
What would it do to here mental situation if she ever found out? I'm not judging each to there own but if your wife is mentally ill then maybe the time spent away with people of here could be spent supporting your wife. If you feel lonely at times then don't you think she may also feel like that. Wedding vows in sickness and health. God for bid but if she ever did find out it could ruin her mental for life. "
He is supporting her, he said that. What about his state of mind and wants and needs? Maybe by him getting a little bit of pleasure every now and again is what keeps him sane and strong enough to keep in caring for his wife. I wonder if these people who judge on these type of situations have ever experienced it for themselves? Some people would never last a week walking in some other people's shoes, let alone years on end. |
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It's really no ones business why anyone else is on this site. I'm amazed at how closed minded some people are on here and have to wonder if they are on the right site.
There are many reasons why a married person may be looking for something else. It's not for anyone to judge them and those sanctimonious pretentious t@ats that do get right up my nose.
Enjoy the site for what it is and what it offers you but keep your judgements to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really no ones business why anyone else is on this site. I'm amazed at how closed minded some people are on here and have to wonder if they are on the right site.
There are many reasons why a married person may be looking for something else. It's not for anyone to judge them and those sanctimonious pretentious t@ats that do get right up my nose.
Enjoy the site for what it is and what it offers you but keep your judgements to yourself. "
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"It's really no ones business why anyone else is on this site. I'm amazed at how closed minded some people are on here and have to wonder if they are on the right site.
There are many reasons why a married person may be looking for something else. It's not for anyone to judge them and those sanctimonious pretentious t@ats that do get right up my nose.
Enjoy the site for what it is and what it offers you but keep your judgements to yourself. "
Some cheats are equally as closed minded and unwilling to accept/respect that people that don't want to meet them for their own reasons, they naturally assume it's just because they're judgemental of the their actions/choices and there's many reasons why people won't meet them
Both sides can be no better or worse than each other
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading
What would it do to here mental situation if she ever found out? I'm not judging each to there own but if your wife is mentally ill then maybe the time spent away with people of here could be spent supporting your wife. If you feel lonely at times then don't you think she may also feel like that. Wedding vows in sickness and health. God for bid but if she ever did find out it could ruin her mental for life.
He is supporting her, he said that. What about his state of mind and wants and needs? Maybe by him getting a little bit of pleasure every now and again is what keeps him sane and strong enough to keep in caring for his wife. I wonder if these people who judge on these type of situations have ever experienced it for themselves? Some people would never last a week walking in some other people's shoes, let alone years on end."
Being brought up by a mentally ill mom experience enough? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and happily so and it is because of fab. My wife has severe mental issues that makes her verbally anusive and I get strong abuse! When she is fine our marriage is strong but the lonely times I have facing this is terrible.. leave her? No .. support her ..yes! I strongly agree that marriage is a bond but also agree with the point that we have our individual reasons .. she is unaware I am on here but we do have a firm marriage.. she can't help her mental situation.. I wish she could ..thanks for reading
What would it do to here mental situation if she ever found out? I'm not judging each to there own but if your wife is mentally ill then maybe the time spent away with people of here could be spent supporting your wife. If you feel lonely at times then don't you think she may also feel like that. Wedding vows in sickness and health. God for bid but if she ever did find out it could ruin her mental for life.
He is supporting her, he said that. What about his state of mind and wants and needs? Maybe by him getting a little bit of pleasure every now and again is what keeps him sane and strong enough to keep in caring for his wife. I wonder if these people who judge on these type of situations have ever experienced it for themselves? Some people would never last a week walking in some other people's shoes, let alone years on end.
Being brought up by a mentally ill mom experience enough? "
The dynamics are totally different there. You didn't have a sex life with your mum  |
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By *udiguyMan
over a year ago
harrogate |
"Whether you agree with this or not, everyone who is married but looking to play as a single has their own reasons for doing so...
I think we should respect each other's viewpoints even if we don't agree with them. Your business is your business, which is key on a swingers site & if it's not for you then move on. Nobody needs to be or likes to be morally judged, as a Married person looking you just don't need it...you've questioned that in your own mind already and happy to go ahead, that's a personal decision
I've seen both men & women who are attached looking for secret, private discrete fun here...but there's no way of filtering them out using the current site filters
Often married people want to meet other married people, for a number of reasons.:
1. The other person understands you viewpoint and is often in the same position as you
2. A married person meeting another married person has a level of discretion just as important to both parties
3. Nobody needs to be morally judged & made to feel like shit...
I'm sure there's as many more reasons as there are people married but looking, after all we are all unique
I think there should be a married but looking & don't mind meeting married people filter On the site
Thoughts are welcome x
"
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"Why is someone a judgemental pretentious tw*t for having an opinion and decision of their own.
If they don't wanna meet you they don't wanna meet you. Just move on to the next. "
Because by judging them to be the twats is far easier than accepting their judgement of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust."
Yes totally agree with this!!! |
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I have my own views on this, but I also respect the views of others. Over the years I've met LOTS of couples where one has been into more than the other, but the less keen one is playing along 'for the sake of the marriage'....I've also seen people in the chat rooms here clearly 'playing away', whilst their partner is at work, and met people in clubs where one partner wasn't aware that the other had a separate profile on this and other sites. I've also met many couples who are happily married and play as a couple...although in honesty I'd struggle to say that these represented more than about 60% of swingers. At a well known club that I sometimes attend in the daytime it's a 'given' that most couples there are married to other people (swinging clubs often provide a less expensive option than a hotel room). I've also met a HUGE amount of 'single women' that when questioned turn out to be playing away. So as a 'lifestyle' we're a pretty mixed bunch. In essence we all make our own choices - I hesitate to condemn, because if I did the logical conclusion would be that our swinging lifestyle is populated by a significant proportion of people that have marriage issues - so if we cared about this so much it would severely restrict who we would play with, and who we have historically played with in the past. I for one am not 'whiter than white' in this respect, and I'd probably have rather had fun with these people than not. That said if one member of a couple is less comfortable I always back off...although in every single case they normally find other people (in our community) that crack on regardless ..... so as a 'community' we need to be careful about taking the moral high ground I think. I rarely write 'controversial' posts....so now I'll just sit in my foxhole, pull my helmet on tight, and await the 'incoming'..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read all of these and regardless of people's views on married people on here... surely the filter will be of benefit to all. It will cut down on how many singles are pestered by married people. But will also allow married people to find like minded people. It won't filter all but it will some. So that has to be a win for all. By the way the first thing I say when I chat to someone is that I'm married... I have my reasons ... But we aren't all lying snakes |
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"Marriage is the most solemn promise you make in your whole life. It speaks volumes about those who choose to break that promise. A choice which carries a risk of severe emotional damage to at least one other person, if not often children as well.
Saying we can't judge this is saying we can't have an opinion on integrity, honesty and trust."
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"Also a question to couples....
If a married woman approached you, would you meet & play with her regardless of her situation?
"
No we wouldn't!!! Makes no difference if it's male or female! Each to their own but we wouldn't |
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