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swinging and family
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have a 12 year old son (babysitter nearly impossible) plus hubby working shifts its VERY rare that we can meet and always have to plan weeks in advance. I wish we could be more spontaneous sometimes but its just difficult. OK - in three years time it might look completely different but that dont get us any free time now.
Do you have similar problems? We do keep telling people that we can not often meet and sometimes feel bad that we have to put them off. If we do organise a meet it has to be very very special for us.
How do you juggle family job and swinging?
Sandra x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have the same problem, babysitters are few and far between and can be months before we get out.
We tend to have meets at ours due to this but always weary of inviting someone new over to our house, so we tend to meet people at clubs and have regular meets with them.
We have been thinking of one of us go to a club as a 'scout' for potential new meets in the future as both of getting out it extremely difficult.
Far from ideal but it's kind of working lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am a single mum to disabled child n the amount of men who dont get that i cant meet just like that is unbilevable so i totally get what ur saying , have had potentail meets kick of n say dont wanna meet anymore wen they dont come before my son but they not worth my time if they cant wait |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok depending on how social he is. I havea 13 year old and an 8 year old both girls my youngest is still ok at nannies but m eldest refuses to go. Try and start a sleep over roster with his friends ie they come to you one weekend he goes to them one weekend have been doing this the last year and it works for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was able to compartmentalise my life: time for family, work and me time. I did the same when I was married, but our "me" time had to be planned in advance ie concert, theatre etc so enjoyed it more.
Some people see swinging as their life but most of use just fit it in as you would any other hobby.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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sleepovers dont work for us too as he doesnt like to stay anywere lol
its just so difficult!
We have now decided that I take days off during the week/school term - that way we can meet daytimes - but then losing out on a day or two off during the holidays. I think sometimes we have to be a little selfish!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose we are quite lucky in that our girls - 9 and 13 go to their Dad's every other weekend, but then we tend to have to work those days!!
I agree that guys often don't want to wait to meet us, but it's very clear on our profile that swinging is additional to our lives, and we also restate this in messages very early on. We don't depend on swinging to have fun in our lives. That said, it can be quite frustrating! We have arranged our first meet in 4 months for Friday, but I still have to be in work for 6 Saturday morning. Still gonna enjoy it though!! Lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We cant plan too far ahead because of hubbys work. We tend to have spur of the moment meets a lot of the time and this can prove awkward for guys. Still when we do get the chance we love the scene.  |
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I understand your frustration, getting free time with kids can be tricky and even make you feel a bit guilty as well at times.
I have a young son but I'm able to fit meets around the days I don't have him staying over. Oddly I actually find this sort of an advantage in meeting single mums or couples with kids, as we both understand the difficulty of swinging when you have kids and so both parties feel more at ease arranging something and being more patient to do so. |
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Single working mum.. Only ever had the same child minders for work and social time which is my parents who like to just jet off when ever they feel like it. Also with my job I sometimes have to work till 10.45pm meaning my child has to sleep over at grandparents so its a bit cheeky to also ask them to babysit while I go out or to meet somebody. I don't accom due to neighbours and everybody in my area knowing everybody else!! People talk lol.
So for me I try and arrange meets a couple of weeks in advance but of course when it gets to it, 9/10 times you get let down. |
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Yes come on guys lets get our priorites right here . lets not let our children get in the way of swinging, bloody hell how dare they. Why dont we send them back up chimneys or the workhouse shall we. Just when u think nothing can surprise you ! well done gold medal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes come on guys lets get our priorites right here . lets not let our children get in the way of swinging, bloody hell how dare they. Why dont we send them back up chimneys or the workhouse shall we. Just when u think nothing can surprise you ! well done gold medal "
A bit harsh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our familys grow up so fast ... year pass in a blink of a eye...... now i miss my young children as in teens now and 20s if i could go back have more i would ... swinging come second to my family .... i was lucky had my mum and dad around to help, But it cant be easy for some of you getting sitters as you really have to trust the people you let look after them ...... I would say if your at home kids in bed you have time for a flirt ....... get a web cam and go into rooms here ..... dress up sexy ... i love doing that time fly i find myself going to bed 1 or 2 in morning .... and if you really get to know people well ... can plan meets when free .... can make good four -play when you cant get out x Not as good as real thing but FUN XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just tend to play once a month quality over quantity. I play at clubs and always guarnteed a fantastic night so does'nt bother me if I cant meet during the week. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"Just coz were parent's.... doesn't mean our own lives have to stop!"
Actually, I was going to express this sentiment! Our kids fitted in with OUR way of life and not us bending to them! I can understand that some just don't have the time or the childcare arrangements to be able to get out much, but if I told my 13 year old that he/she was sleeping at Nans, then sleep at Nans they would!
The only reason that insist they won't is because they know todays parents will feel guilty and cave in!
Kids fit in with our lives, not us with theirs! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes come on guys lets get our priorites right here . lets not let our children get in the way of swinging, bloody hell how dare they. Why dont we send them back up chimneys or the workhouse shall we. Just when u think nothing can surprise you ! well done gold medal "
wow - surprised how some postings can turn things around .... |
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Maybe I'd be a better babysitter than I am at swinging! 
Seriously though... there's totally a market for it. Mind I know I'm trustworthy... I'm sure it's a different kettle of fish when it comes to leaving your kids with someone but if there was a swinging friendly babysitter on hand who was qualified and checked they'd make a fortune!!  |
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Lol nice idea, but trust is the big issue.
We have 1 set of grandparents, but just as those above saying kids have to fit in with their lives. That still goes for big kids with their own kids.
We can't demand babysitting from our own parents, expecting them to fit in with us.
I'm not sure how it works with older kids, but with a toddler and a baby it can be a bit of a wakeful night for the grandparents if the kids are disturbed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well we agree totally with the OP we find it really hard to meet due to our jobs an finding a babysitter. Also as some people suggest dropping them off with family with live about 2hrs away from our nearist relatives so a bit of a push to take the little one over for a meet. we just have to takeour time and if the other ppl dont like it well thats just life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its hard isnt it.I have a disabled daughter so can only meet in day or when she goes in respite.i also look after my g/sons in hols.Usually i will put ime not meeting on those times but still get abuse from men saying why you on site if not meeting.Message back to them not very nice.lol |
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"We have a 12 year old son (babysitter nearly impossible) plus hubby working shifts its VERY rare that we can meet and always have to plan weeks in advance. I wish we could be more spontaneous sometimes but its just difficult. OK - in three years time it might look completely different but that dont get us any free time now.
Do you have similar problems? We do keep telling people that we can not often meet and sometimes feel bad that we have to put them off. If we do organise a meet it has to be very very special for us.
How do you juggle family job and swinging?
Sandra x"
By having most of our meets daytimes or at clubs.It is a pain,going to a club mean we have a fab night out anyway,and shift work means kev can fit in the odd naughty afternoon. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"Lol nice idea, but trust is the big issue.
We have 1 set of grandparents, but just as those above saying kids have to fit in with their lives. That still goes for big kids with their own kids.
We can't demand babysitting from our own parents, expecting them to fit in with us.
I'm not sure how it works with older kids, but with a toddler and a baby it can be a bit of a wakeful night for the grandparents if the kids are disturbed."
Never meant foisting kids on to our parents! Someone said that her 13 year old refuses to go stay with his grandparents. My comment was to the effect that he/she is 13! At that age they do as they are told not as they like!
As it happened, we didn't go out much when they were young and from that point of view we could argue that if you allow your child to rule your lives, then you perhaps had better save swinging until you are free! But when we did want or need to leave em with someone, they went! |
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"Lol nice idea, but trust is the big issue.
We have 1 set of grandparents, but just as those above saying kids have to fit in with their lives. That still goes for big kids with their own kids.
We can't demand babysitting from our own parents, expecting them to fit in with us.
I'm not sure how it works with older kids, but with a toddler and a baby it can be a bit of a wakeful night for the grandparents if the kids are disturbed.
Never meant foisting kids on to our parents! Someone said that her 13 year old refuses to go stay with his grandparents. My comment was to the effect that he/she is 13! At that age they do as they are told not as they like!
As it happened, we didn't go out much when they were young and from that point of view we could argue that if you allow your child to rule your lives, then you perhaps had better save swinging until you are free! But when we did want or need to leave em with someone, they went!"
Pretty much the same here,untill about 4 years ago any nights out were rare cos of age of kids,now at 7 and 11 they go where they are told! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She does'nt rule my life they just get to an age where going to grandparents she is bored so I alternate having her friend stay at mine and she goes to hers have to make everybody happy at the end of the day she is 13 and the last 13 years have gone in a flash another 5 years and she will be 18. And I will still be young enough to go out and enjoy myself. |
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