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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To our surprise we have found it really difficult to meet single guys. We are looking for non-smokers and respectful guys who are not attached preferably well endowed.
However because we want to chat to find out more about them and because we can't meet at short notice many can't seem to be bothered with anything other than 'can we meet in a hour'. We understand there are a lot of timewasters but find it really strange that so many seem to be single guys.
Also found that many run a mile when they come on to chat and find out that it's the male of the couple. Sometimes both partners are not online and they want to meet a (straight) couple so what do they expect.
Is it just us or have other couples found this too? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"To our surprise we have found it really difficult to meet single guys. We are looking for non-smokers and respectful guys who are not attached preferably well endowed.
However because we want to chat to find out more about them and because we can't meet at short notice many can't seem to be bothered with anything other than 'can we meet in a hour'. We understand there are a lot of timewasters but find it really strange that so many seem to be single guys.
Also found that many run a mile when they come on to chat and find out that it's the male of the couple. Sometimes both partners are not online and they want to meet a (straight) couple so what do they expect.
Is it just us or have other couples found this too?"
i don't think it is neccessarily just a couples problem.... you get people that want to meet straight away regardless of whether they are a bloke, a lady or a couple......
I prefer to get to know people first.. that is me... but where i would call that chat and getting to know people, some people would call it ping pong....
1 couple couldn't figure out why i wasn't available to meet there and then... the fact that I was 10 miles away, I don't drive and it was 11.45pm on a thursday night when i had to get up for work at 7am the next day was merely and inconvience to them.... |
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Welcome back Fabio.  Missed you mate.
I like to chat a bit first, with either the male, female or both. I like to get a feel for what the couple are like and take things steady until I know them a bit.
Sometimes it can be months before a meet, sometimes a few days. It can vary with how close they are and how soon they feel at ease with me.
It varies so much it's hard to give you a standard scenario realy.
Good luck with it. |
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"To our surprise we have found it really difficult to meet single guys. We are looking for non-smokers and respectful guys who are not attached preferably well endowed.
However because we want to chat to find out more about them and because we can't meet at short notice many can't seem to be bothered with anything other than 'can we meet in a hour'. We understand there are a lot of timewasters but find it really strange that so many seem to be single guys.
Also found that many run a mile when they come on to chat and find out that it's the male of the couple. Sometimes both partners are not online and they want to meet a (straight) couple so what do they expect.
Is it just us or have other couples found this too?"
We only meet single guys and understand what you are saying. The following works for us..... I do most of online chatting as Mr S hasnt the time or inclination although we do say on our profile that we both may read the messages. I never delete any so that he can pop on his phone in bored moments when he is away etc and have a quick look. If I think that a guy fits what we are looking for (and our profile shows we are damn fussy lol) then I give them our number (mobile we only use for fab) and tell them they may text anytime and that we can have a little chat at a time when we are both around. If this happens and Mr S likes the sound of them too then he will arrange to meet them for a drink or similar at a mutually convenient time. We meet, have a chat and some laughs and go away to exchange feelings we get about guy and leave him to do the same. We then get in touch and thank them for taking the time and let them know if we are interested in meeting up again for some fun this time. If we are all agreed happy days. If we are not sure then we are just honest. We have found this very positive and has enabled us to find the type of guy we like who is looking for the same as us. This procedure also puts off the just out for a shag brigade which we are not looking for. Someone for everyone on Fab but ing out the one who are not always honest about what they are looking for and will say anything they think you want to hear to get what they want is not always easy but we get there in the end. We have met some really fantastic guys (still smiling from last night - thanks handsome he he) but it does mean that meet todays and short notice meets are not always possible. We dont drop our standards even if we have a hotel room paid for and will waste our money. Hope this helps.
Mistress x |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Agree with Fabio but how long can a game of ping pong last without an end result?  "
see... for me I don't see it as ping pong... i see it as gaining someones confidence... and that for me doesn't have a "time limit" attached to it....
with real life and schedules and stuff some people i have met after weeks, some after months, and the occasional one after years...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the good advice. Should say that we are online together at times but sometimes either of us can be online alone due to other commitments.
It's def easier to meet couples and it is surprising that guys who will meet couples will not perhaps give the benefit of the doubt. Still suppose that's down to number of timewasters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the good advice. Should say that we are online together at times but sometimes either of us can be online alone due to other commitments.
It's def easier to meet couples and it is surprising that guys who will meet couples will not perhaps give the benefit of the doubt. Still suppose that's down to number of timewasters. "
its down to you who want
if you think there time wasting you then just block n move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aw, Glascouple, there are lots of respectful non-smoking single guys on here, who will chat for ages, without pushing for a meet! I won't 'name names' but my second ever meet (2008) was a lovely Glasgow bloke, and I've been chatting for about 2 years with a lovely Newcastle lad (I'm gonna sh@g him, one of these days LOL)
I lost all my verifications when I changed accounts, but if any Northern lads (who I know!) think they might be what Glascouple are looking for, let me know, and I'll pass your details on! |
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"Agree with Fabio but how long can a game of ping pong last without an end result?
see... for me I don't see it as ping pong... i see it as gaining someones confidence... and that for me doesn't have a "time limit" attached to it....
with real life and schedules and stuff some people i have met after weeks, some after months, and the occasional one after years...
"
I think Fabio really hits the mark with his input. We have only recently become friends with a guy on here, being recent new members, who we have chatted to for years on and off, online and phone, through other sites. We came close to meeting, all arranged etc, but something cropped up at the last minute and the meet was cancelled, even so, there has never been a situation where either side got pissed of etc and this is over something like 6 years  .
We all know it will happen one day, but none of us are rushed or desperate and that shows from his side!  |
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For many people it can be a very tall order trying to find the ideal sex-mates. The more constraints that you have so you will decimate the number of possibilities.
Specifying well endowed, not married, non-smoker may cut your numbers down 1000 to 1.
Also as has been mentioned the 'well endowed' bit probably puts a lot of guys off. Show me a guy who says he would not like his cock to be a little bigger and I'll show you a liar as it always 'looks' smaller to the owner. You could be knocking the confidence of the type of guys you wish to meet. What is well endowed to you? Is it one that is bigger than you hubbies 9 incher or your hubbies 3 incher?
As for who does the chat... my misses never does any of the online stuff, if that means some people think we are time wasters then that's a shame because its this way or not at all.
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What some people call 'ping pong' email others call 'making friends and getting to know people' while that might be time consuming its not something we have ever considered to be a waste of time.
If someone approaches us with the 'no chat lets just shag' then we'll tell them, 'sorry it doesn't happen that quick with us' as we do prefer to get to know people first. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ping pong mail definition for us is......mailing each other for weeks/ months.
Once I ( Mrs ) gets to know too much about a person I don't want to play with them, so just enough mails and a chat on MSN to find out if we all want to play is enough for us.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's horses for courses. I think a no strings social meet can save a lot of email time, I think it is possible to know too much about someone if the intention is no strings sex. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"What some people call 'ping pong' email others call 'making friends and getting to know people' while that might be time consuming its not something we have ever considered to be a waste of time.
If someone approaches us with the 'no chat lets just shag' then we'll tell them, 'sorry it doesn't happen that quick with us' as we do prefer to get to know people first."
think those that call it ping pong just want a sh@g off-the-peg, and very few but the really hardened work that way. Those who call it that are plainly stating how really interested they are in others... the number that scarper or clam up when they know theyre talking to hubby is unreal... shows most of em can be 'well endowed' but still cowardly scamper away when it comes to chatting with the male partner... another person they have to befriend in a couple if they want to get anywhere at all
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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email ping pong is fine but i do like to chat on the phone also.
sometimes hearing the person is better as you can gauge them better.
text and messages are fine but people read things differently and sometimes it can be a disaster. |
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It's like any other aspect of this hobby 'each to their own'. We all have our likes and dislikes, our way of doing things won't be the right way for some people regardless of how we choose the play it.
I'm sure we've all be guilty of assuming too much or drawing the wrong conclusions for whatever reason.
We have had and will in the future continue to have sexual events with people at say a swing party and never know the persons name!
However, on swingers sites we do things in a way that we find comfortable, those not comfortable with doing the chat with hubby first will probably never meet us so it don't matter if they 'think' we are time-wasters.
There is no right or wrong way, you just do what gets you the results you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's like any other aspect of this hobby 'each to their own'. We all have our likes and dislikes, our way of doing things won't be the right way for some people regardless of how we choose the play it.
I'm sure we've all be guilty of assuming too much or drawing the wrong conclusions for whatever reason.
We have had and will in the future continue to have sexual events with people at say a swing party and never know the persons name!
However, on swingers sites we do things in a way that we find comfortable, those not comfortable with doing the chat with hubby first will probably never meet us so it don't matter if they 'think' we are time-wasters.
There is no right or wrong way, you just do what gets you the results you want "
Well said |
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