FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Issues with jobs
Issues with jobs
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A number of people have messaged me and said they can't go to a club because of there jobs ? , why should your job prevent you from doing things I don't understand, surely your private life is just that private and upto you. As long as it's not illegal, and does not directly involve your employer , surley it's nothing to do with them ???? Or am I wrong ??? |
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Yes, you are wrong. Certain professions and employers consider some behaviour to bring the profession into disrepute.
Take teachers for instance. Some parents want the people who teach their children to be snowy white and have no compunction in reporting what they see as wrong doing. Even if it isn't illegal their position can be made untenable.
I'm not sure how being in a club could be proved though and I'd deem it safer than having photos on the net. |
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As mentioned above.. some jobs will frown upon it.. but on the flip side of it is that they could be making excuses so they get you all alone and no one else involved.. or they have taken past conquests there so are too familiar.. who knows but am sure "job" may not always be what it is... |
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Just because the frown upon it doesn't make it illegal and still non of there business what about the people in those professions who have affaires are they asked to leave there jobs because they had sex with someone else ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because the frown upon it doesn't make it illegal and still non of there business what about the people in those professions who have affaires are they asked to leave there jobs because they had sex with someone else ???"
yeah but they could lose their job over it.
if they aren't prepared to meet you at all in a public place i'd say they're talking shit though and don't wanna get caught cheating is more likely. |
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"Yes, you are wrong. Certain professions and employers consider some behaviour to bring the profession into disrepute.
Take teachers for instance. Some parents want the people who teach their children to be snowy white and have no compunction in reporting what they see as wrong doing. Even if it isn't illegal their position can be made untenable.
I'm not sure how being in a club could be proved though and I'd deem it safer than having photos on the net."
Look at the American teacher got the sack for having some sexton pictures put on Facebook, she had them done in a photo shoot. |
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"Just because the frown upon it doesn't make it illegal and still non of there business what about the people in those professions who have affaires are they asked to leave there jobs because they had sex with someone else ???"
Many professions have Codes of Conduct that require certain standards and will be in their Terms and Conditions. Whilst not illegal they may be breaching their employment contract in certain situations.
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"Just because the frown upon it doesn't make it illegal and still non of there business what about the people in those professions who have affaires are they asked to leave there jobs because they had sex with someone else ???"
Whatever we think about the rights and wrongs of it the fact is that people in certain jobs need to be careful.
When this was discussed recently in the forum someone said she wouldn't be happy if her child's teacher was on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had to bundle a judge type out the secret door in a certain place and others certain types hid for there life once upon a time ....lmao you had to be there to see the funnyside ...  |
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I work in Education and Anita has a customer facing job with the local authority, so this is relevant to us.
We probably wouldn't goto a club in our home town, but we happily travel to out of town clubs.
If we were to bump into anyone from our work at any club, they would probably appreciate the discretion as much as us.
Cal |
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I completely agree that what you do in your private life(as long as not illegal) should not affect your job in any way, unfortunately this is not the case.
We live in a very judgemental society still unfortunately x
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why us this so important to you OP? People with professional careers often gave a code of conduct to follow. That is their business whether they go to a club or not x |
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"Why us this so important to you OP? People with professional careers often gave a code of conduct to follow. That is their business whether they go to a club or not x"
People are asking me to meet them, in public places, hotels at party's but they say the can't go to clubs because of there jobs. I don't understand why their jobs dont affect the other places , why does it just stop them going to clubs ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like said above, if an employer found out that their employee are attending a club etc it could get frowned upon.
SWIM works for a large aerospace company, in the code of conduct it states that you cannot do anything that would represent you and the company you work for in a badly manner for example post things on Facebook that some people may find disturbing or upsetting.
Personally I don't agree with that, what you do outside of work is your business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why us this so important to you OP? People with professional careers often gave a code of conduct to follow. That is their business whether they go to a club or not x
People are asking me to meet them, in public places, hotels at party's but they say the can't go to clubs because of there jobs. I don't understand why their jobs dont affect the other places , why does it just stop them going to clubs ????"
Maybe their jobs are more important to them than sex with a random in a club. Or maybe they just don't want to meet you and an excuse. Either way it's their choice. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Like said above, if an employer found out that their employee are attending a club etc it could get frowned upon.
SWIM works for a large aerospace company, in the code of conduct it states that you cannot do anything that would represent you and the company you work for in a badly manner for example post things on Facebook that some people may find disturbing or upsetting.
Personally I don't agree with that, what you do outside of work is your business."
The morality clause can only be invoked if your hubby were to attend the club, pose naked in a gang-bang with his company overalls hanging over his shoulders displaying the logo clearly which then appeared on the club's web-site as the stud-of-the-year
Simply visiting a club or flirting with a woman he has met from here in the bar at the Holiday Inn and then sh*gging her in senseless a room there or hanging a cross upside down in his home, will not land him in any kind of trouble with his employers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An issue I have with clubs is you just don't know who is going to turn up. For example I have seen people on here who I know. I know they go to clubs. I'm grown up enough to leave things at that. What they choose to do is absolutely nothing to do with me, it doesn't effect me, and their private life doesn't effect their jobs. I don't persue any attempt at dialogue outside of this site. Due respect for privacy is accorded. My problem is that knowing these people, I'm not sure the same will be reciprocated. This would be truly disastrous for me...
For this reason, I won't go to clubs.... |
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One issue with clubs, is that you can be spotted just going in or leaving...
But when the club is 50 miles from where you live & work, then the risk is reduced hugely.
Plus! unless the somebody who sees you actually engages with you, then you can always just deny it... people are often mistaken about things you know.
Cal |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"An issue I have with clubs is you just don't know who is going to turn up. For example I have seen people on here who I know. I know they go to clubs. I'm grown up enough to leave things at that. What they choose to do is absolutely nothing to do with me, it doesn't effect me, and their private life doesn't effect their jobs. I don't persue any attempt at dialogue outside of this site. Due respect for privacy is accorded. My problem is that knowing these people, I'm not sure the same will be reciprocated. This would be truly disastrous for me...
For this reason, I won't go to clubs...."
I have bumped into someone from work in a club who was there with his wife. We have spoken each and every time we have been there. We also are in some of the meetings at work together
Soooo, with your way of thinking, I should be concerned that he will seek out my boss (or arrange a meeting with HR) and tell them that he saw me at a swingers club? And that my boss or HR will fire me because he said that he had seen me in a swinger's club
If the morality clause could be invoked for simply being in this club then he is the one who will get fired. Afterall, he has just admitted to being there. I could just deny and nobody could prove otherwise. He was just a jilted stalker  |
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"One issue with clubs, is that you can be spotted just going in or leaving...
But when the club is 50 miles from where you live & work, then the risk is reduced hugely.
Plus! unless the somebody who sees you actually engages with you, then you can always just deny it... people are often mistaken about things you know.
Cal"
Having said that though... being on an open "SWINGERS" website is without a doubt a massively bigger risk than going to a club. At least at a club, you can hide/leave if you spot someone you know, or travel to reduce the risk. On here, everyone in the world can see you (if the choose). Then they just need to ask for a face pic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I generally assume several things from this kind of statement:
1. They actually have a really important and high powered job and they can't afford to lose it. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
2. They think their job is far more important than it actually is. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
3. They are scared of going to clubs and are using their job as an excuse. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me. |
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"I completely agree that what you do in your private life(as long as not illegal) should not affect your job in any way, unfortunately this is not the case.
We live in a very judgemental society still unfortunately x
Mrs"
It is amazing that we are all on here because of how society judges the fun and kinks we all have yet you read some of the messages on these forums and the judgements keep coming.
 |
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The teaching profession is particularly vulnerable to self righteous parents and vindictive ex partners. While a head teacher might have every sympathy for a teacher who has been outed to the chair of governors or LEA if these people canvas enough outraged parents red top style the teachers position becomes untenable.
It's fine to say we have nothing to be ashamed of for enjoying recreational sex because there are plenty prepared to be ashamed on our behalf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you go to a club you have no control over who else will be there. If I was meeting someone in a pub or a cafe that's not a compromising location so it's completely different. And when I meet in a hotel, I'm in control of who is there because I've invited them.
You only have to read comments on any threads about teachers to know that there are people who would make trouble for some if they saw them at a swinging club. Others might be high profile or recognisable. It's naive to think there are no consequences for people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The teaching profession is particularly vulnerable to self righteous parents and vindictive ex partners. While a head teacher might have every sympathy for a teacher who has been outed to the chair of governors or LEA if these people canvas enough outraged parents red top style the teachers position becomes untenable.
It's fine to say we have nothing to be ashamed of for enjoying recreational sex because there are plenty prepared to be ashamed on our behalf"
 |
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"I generally assume several things from this kind of statement:
1. They actually have a really important and high powered job and they can't afford to lose it. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
2. They think their job is far more important than it actually is. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
3. They are scared of going to clubs and are using their job as an excuse. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me."
I know where you're coming from, but I think it's a bit general.
Not many people would be happy to loose their job. We are not VIPs or in high profile positions, but being in the public sector, our employers wouldn't be pleased if our swinging as common knowledge.
On the other hand, we negate the risk by travelling for meets and to clubs away from home.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally assume several things from this kind of statement:
1. They actually have a really important and high powered job and they can't afford to lose it. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
2. They think their job is far more important than it actually is. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
3. They are scared of going to clubs and are using their job as an excuse. That's fine, they're proberbly not for me.
I know where you're coming from, but I think it's a bit general.
Not many people would be happy to loose their job. We are not VIPs or in high profile positions, but being in the public sector, our employers wouldn't be pleased if our swinging as common knowledge.
On the other hand, we negate the risk by travelling for meets and to clubs away from home.
Cal"
But that's ok - all I'm saying about those things is that it's ok, but they're not for me. I'm not passing judgement, just saying that those people most likely aren't for me.
Two of my partners have high profile public sector jobs and they don't have a problem with it. So it's not all the public sector. And I do believe that there's a point where you become too valuable to be easily sacked for such a minor thing too - especially if they know you've got enough money to see the court case through. |
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I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class"
Of course they could, if you're subject to a particular code of conduct. And how many people would really want the expense and publicity and professional reputational damage of challenging it at an employment tribunal? If you've spent years building a particular career, it's not like just getting another job.
Why not just take their word for it and move on to meet different people who *are* comfortable with meeting in clubs. |
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"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class"
It's unlikely that they would sack someone for having consensual sex, however they might make it impossible to carry on in a role by ensuring that your professional standing was compromised or your colleagues and any clients or pupils lost their trust and confidence in you.
I know you're finding it difficult to believe but it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a loss of credibility at work, I guess.
I would have the same problem because I undertake a high-profile role in the local community.
I wouldn't want to have to deal with all the finger-pointing and whispering behind my back.
A lot of people are not as open-minded as we like to believe we are! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
There are lots of people on FabS in very high-profile and sensitive jobs were a mere hint that they had had sex outside of marriage would lead to a loss of credibility or loosing their career. These are mostly men and 'couples' and I stay well clear of these men and 'couples' |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class"
The woman who I replaced in my last job was 'moved' because she was having an affair with her boss. The fat they are together now has nothing to do with it - some employers feel it's a risk too far to keep people together when they are involved.
If she was moved because of a discreet affair, what do you think would have happened if they found out she'd shagged 17 men at a club?
It might not be fair, but it is a fact that this sort of thing is not condoned as much as we wish it was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class
The woman who I replaced in my last job was 'moved' because she was having an affair with her boss. The fat they are together now has nothing to do with it - some employers feel it's a risk too far to keep people together when they are involved.
If she was moved because of a discreet affair, what do you think would have happened if they found out she'd shagged 17 men at a club?
It might not be fair, but it is a fact that this sort of thing is not condoned as much as we wish it was."
That's a bit of a red herring.
I suspect the lady in question was moved because she was having an affair *with her boss*. It's absolutely the professional thing to do if two people in the same department start sleeping together when one is in a position of power.
I highly doubt they would have moved her to another department or sacked her for having sex with someone *outside* of work. |
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Surely a code of conduct such as mentioned in this thread would prevent these people from going in to a casino or a bookies or a shisha bar? Maybe visit a Hooters restaurant? What happens if they travel to Amsterdam or Las Vegas and partake in the immoral (but legal) activities available there? All legal but could be frowned upon as not morally correct by an employer.
You wouldn't be brining anything or anyone in to disrepute if you went to a club provided you were not in work hours or in work uniform. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I highly doubt they would have moved her to another department or sacked her for having sex with someone *outside* of work."
I was giving it as an example where people CAN be penalised for having an affair, where the OP said they wouldn't be.
Personally I was more annoyed with the fact that it was the woman who was moved, when it was her boss who was in a committed relationship during the affair. But that's what happens when you work for a notoriously masculine organisation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would believe it. I'm not allowed certain pics and status' on my Facebook due to my job.
Bit shitty when ur friends tag u in posts and u have to be quick to remove it, or sift through ten years of Facebook stuff and delete half of it. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I would believe it. I'm not allowed certain pics and status' on my Facebook due to my job.
Bit shitty when ur friends tag u in posts and u have to be quick to remove it, or sift through ten years of Facebook stuff and delete half of it. "
Can't you just lock down your Facebook? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are two separate concerns. In industry and commerce they talk about 'the brand' and "values" and not damaging the brand. Coca cola sells itself a being completely vanilla, having employees that visit sex clubs impacts on the brand and would be against its values.
There has been a huge increase in born again Christians and other religions and they bring their _iews into the work place. People who attend clubs where sex takes place are seen as perverts and few large companies would openly employ perverts.
In the public sector you are at the mercy of the general public and your friendly Sun and Daily Mail readers. In the same way as a vocal minority on here see gay and bisexual men as promiscuous disease spreaders, many vanilla people see swingers in the same light (well unless they are rich or look like models). The general public do not want perverts in customer facing positions.
Unfortunately there is less and less work life and private life balance, and employers will do anything to protect their position.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately hubby and I both work in a job where if our hobby was discovered we could be sacked for bringing the employer into disrepute. We also upset a lot of people so would be concerned if we were to meet any of our customers in a club. Having said that it wouldn't stop us going to a club - its lack of childcare that does that! |
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I suspect my employers would not be delighted to learn of my lifestyle...as I work with children.
I am absolutely no risk to kids, but I can imagine that parents might have a knee-jerk reaction.
However, I won't let it stop me visiting clubs. I tend to assume that everyone at a club is there for the same reasons, to socialise with swingers and probably to have recreational sex. |
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"I would believe it. I'm not allowed certain pics and status' on my Facebook due to my job.
Bit shitty when ur friends tag u in posts and u have to be quick to remove it, or sift through ten years of Facebook stuff and delete half of it. "
Hit the nail on the head with this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a simple solution for this... everyone who enters a swingers club should have to wear a mask.
The club will make money selling the masks and if you're a unattractive person you will have a better chance to get some action.
Think eyes wide shut |
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"There is a simple solution for this... everyone who enters a swingers club should have to wear a mask.
The club will make money selling the masks and if you're a unattractive person you will have a better chance to get some action.
Think eyes wide shut"
Loved that movie, that kind of club would prove very popular, especially with those girls lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a simple solution for this... everyone who enters a swingers club should have to wear a mask.
The club will make money selling the masks and if you're a unattractive person you will have a better chance to get some action.
Think eyes wide shut
Loved that movie, that kind of club would prove very popular, especially with those girls lol"
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"Just because the frown upon it doesn't make it illegal and still non of there business what about the people in those professions who have affaires are they asked to leave there jobs because they had sex with someone else ???
Many professions have Codes of Conduct that require certain standards and will be in their Terms and Conditions. Whilst not illegal they may be breaching their employment contract in certain situations.
"
I'd love to see the employment contract that details out the forbidden sexual behaviours on it. Tell me does it restrict sex to marriage partner and missionary position only? Doubt it stops any person from having an affair though...or sleeping around as a single. It's a huge excuse to cover up lies and cheating and time wasters. |
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"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class
It's unlikely that they would sack someone for having consensual sex, however they might make it impossible to carry on in a role by ensuring that your professional standing was compromised or your colleagues and any clients or pupils lost their trust and confidence in you.
I know you're finding it difficult to believe but it happens."
So you are saying that an employer will go out of their way to stir up trouble for a valuable hardworking employee to prevent them from carrying out their job any longer? Really??? Don't think any major employer would do that. Could be a way to get rid of a useless employee I suppose but even then the potential for tribunal claims and being made a laughing stock would normally prevent that. Only profession I can think of where sex is forbidden to employees is catholic priest....err that works doesn't it...not |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I would say my work are probably more worried about my football antics rather than my sexual ones
I am often on tv, and I am on YouTube at a supporters march against the glazers
I can often be seen giving bird to an opposing player on a corner 
I was in Marseille when the violence happened
For me having sex with the odd couple or single female is nothing
There was a girl who I am in contact with that used to work with us who he enjoyed 3somes and she recently had a boob job
At the Xmas party half the staff were taking illegal drugs |
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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago
solihull |
"Why us this so important to you OP? People with professional careers often gave a code of conduct to follow. That is their business whether they go to a club or not x
People are asking me to meet them, in public places, hotels at party's but they say the can't go to clubs because of there jobs. I don't understand why their jobs dont affect the other places , why does it just stop them going to clubs ????"
Find it strange that you don't understand why people won't go to clubs... But you don't have ANY pics on your profile.... |
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Sadly the general public _iew swinging as perverted, undesirable behaviour. This is fuelled by publications such as the Sun and Mail telling us that anyone who engages in unusual sexual practises is to be mistrusted, and to be outraged for we are all depraved.
In such a climate, it is hardly going to go down well with employers if our hobby is revealed to them. Many of us will have clauses in our contracts that we must not bring the company and/or profession into disrepute.
Now, that definition can be discussed and debated. In some cases, where people have customer facing jobs, high powered jobs or work with children it really is an issue. My wife works in the arts sector, and I imagine it would be fine if this lifestyle were revealed to her employer. I work with children, and I can just see the Sun headlines now....
Of course I pose no risk to kids, I am not the slightest bit interested in children sexually and am not going to somehow turn them into swingers in later life.
Just imagine a non-swinger, who buys into the idea that a "three in a bed romp" is something to be disgusted by....finding out that the person behind the till at Tesco is a swinger, or their manager at work....or their kid's teacher.
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Angus Deayton was removed from Have I Got News For You due to rumours about his private life in 2002.
A quick internet search will bring up similar, sorry tales.
Society is a very long way from accepting swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think any employer could sack you for having consentual sex with someone as long as they are of age and your not doing it on there time. If they could then they would be able to sack you for having a one night stand, having an affair , I don't see how swinging is in any different class
It's unlikely that they would sack someone for having consensual sex, however they might make it impossible to carry on in a role by ensuring that your professional standing was compromised or your colleagues and any clients or pupils lost their trust and confidence in you.
I know you're finding it difficult to believe but it happens.
So you are saying that an employer will go out of their way to stir up trouble for a valuable hardworking employee to prevent them from carrying out their job any longer? Really??? Don't think any major employer would do that. Could be a way to get rid of a useless employee I suppose but even then the potential for tribunal claims and being made a laughing stock would normally prevent that. Only profession I can think of where sex is forbidden to employees is catholic priest....err that works doesn't it...not"
If the employer felt their business or good name would be damaged yes they would sack a valuable employee and not think twice.
People have been sacked for their holiday pictures. A tribunal would uphold a claim of unbecoming behaviour in a persons private life that makes it inappropriate to hold a position. Companies now do Internet trawls before employing high profile senior staff, to avoid potential embassasment.
Believe it or not we do not live in age of reason. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"There is a simple solution for this... everyone who enters a swingers club should have to wear a mask.
The club will make money selling the masks and if you're a unattractive person you will have a better chance to get some action.
Think eyes wide shut"
There is a club in South London by that name; but that is where the similarity ends; with the name |
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