FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Body count advice..
Body count advice..
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am not asking for anyone's numbers, just general interest on how people count.
Do the people in your count include bad experiences? Minute men/women? Anything as long as there's penetration? Only if you came? Etc etc
I'm trying to find what mine is but not sure on the general consensus |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There are a lot of questions to the OP about why she feels the need to count and I will attempt to say why.
As a woman, you are constantly fed these subliminal messages that having multiple partners makes you a slut or something of that order but guess what it tells men about the same thing, 
So I am not surprised you are asking this, OP. I will say one thing though.
Life is too short and we have come a long way to believe in such bullshit. It is no one's business how many people you have sex with but your own. And you have nothing to be ashamed of if you are fulfilling your sexual desires. I know we are all conditioned in one way or the other but you have to make an effort to check yourself from thinking such outdated and silly ideas and go ahead and enjoy yourself!
I, for one, won't judge you for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
To the two last posters yes that true, it's a personal choice and I'd prefer to keep count so I am aware of everything that has happened to my body. I get some people don't want to but both are personal choices.
I've never known people not to keep count, even into the near 100s of partners. So forgive me but I didn't think it was a silly question.
I am not asking anyone to reveal their number and I won't reveal mine, I just wanted to know how people counted, if there was any particular rhyme or reason to it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I keep count but only because there hasn't been many so I know the exact number. Not consciously counting though. I include anyone I had sex with. I've not had any that hasn't lasted a while and been great sex but I would include anyone who I had penetrative sex with if I was to keep count consciously  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everything counts.
And if it is a concern why are u on a swinging site?
This is why I tend to think a lot of people here are chasing validation rather than actual sex...especially those around the OPs age.
It's all good talking about how comfortable you are with casual sex...but then if I meet someone who starts rationalizing their partner count, I begin to deny it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am not asking for anyone's numbers, just general interest on how people count.
Do the people in your count include bad experiences? Minute men/women? Anything as long as there's penetration? Only if you came? Etc etc
I'm trying to find what mine is but not sure on the general consensus"
Interesting question. I only count penetrative sex and it has to be 'sustained'. So for example I once gave a woman oral sex without anything else and I don't count that. I also once had d*unken sex with a woman in which she either passed out or fell asleep as I penetrated her. Being a gentleman I stopped (fucking an unconscious woman really isn't my bag). I don't count that.
It used to be easier when I was younger and sex was basically penetration. Increasingly as sex becomes more varied it's harder. I don't keep count as such but sometimes it crops up and I go back and count... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point.."
Or maybe some people just like data? I started my list so I could accurately answer the "how many partners" question when having std tests, but I like to review it because it sparks off memories of different people I've met. If I died tomorrow it would mean nothing to anyone because it's in code. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point..
Or maybe some people just like data? I started my list so I could accurately answer the "how many partners" question when having std tests, but I like to review it because it sparks off memories of different people I've met. If I died tomorrow it would mean nothing to anyone because it's in code. "
I do like lists but I haven't got one of this. Perhaps I should start... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point..
Or maybe some people just like data? I started my list so I could accurately answer the "how many partners" question when having std tests, but I like to review it because it sparks off memories of different people I've met. If I died tomorrow it would mean nothing to anyone because it's in code. "
so you do it, to answer other peoples questions..i just say, put me in the high risk category of multiple partners..and test me for everything..seems to work.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point..
Or maybe some people just like data? I started my list so I could accurately answer the "how many partners" question when having std tests, but I like to review it because it sparks off memories of different people I've met. If I died tomorrow it would mean nothing to anyone because it's in code. so you do it, to answer other peoples questions..i just say, put me in the high risk category of multiple partners..and test me for everything..seems to work.."
I will, don't worry. I was just responding to the character assassination of anyone who likes lists. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"this suggests there would be someone needing a report. i don't do reports. i dont to lists and number people. i think if you care about numbers, you have a residue of how many lovers counts, as too many/ too few. if i died tomorrow, i definitely wouldn't want a list hanging around. if did the unlikely thing and 'settled down' and it was that important to the person to know. id just say, "most likely, more than you", if they felt that was 'too many', then they wouldn't be for me anyway. simples. so i cant, see the point..
Or maybe some people just like data? I started my list so I could accurately answer the "how many partners" question when having std tests, but I like to review it because it sparks off memories of different people I've met. If I died tomorrow it would mean nothing to anyone because it's in code. so you do it, to answer other peoples questions..i just say, put me in the high risk category of multiple partners..and test me for everything..seems to work..
I will, don't worry. I was just responding to the character assassination of anyone who likes lists. "
it wasnt character assassination..i said in my case i cant see the point..which is true, i cant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To the two last posters yes that true, it's a personal choice and I'd prefer to keep count so I am aware of everything that has happened to my body. I get some people don't want to but both are personal choices.
I've never known people not to keep count, even into the near 100s of partners. So forgive me but I didn't think it was a silly question.
I am not asking anyone to reveal their number and I won't reveal mine, I just wanted to know how people counted, if there was any particular rhyme or reason to it. "
Most don't know their number, especially swingers and even more so those of us that have been doing this a long time. I've been shagging for 35 years, I don't know my number. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I may just not be good at getting my point across but some people have manage to grasp it, most haven't. I'll take the blame for that given its the majority.
As I've said before it's a personal choice.
There are many circumstances in which some one would want to keep count, just because someone swings does not mean they sleep with the world. I'm not here but I'm very fussy. Have been on year for only a year but I haven't had many meets and I'm beginning to have less and less with the way people approach this but by hats just me. I like a bit of respect not someone that would perhaps be better suited to a blow up doll the way they speak of women.
Another example is how long people have been having sex or swinging, yes I am young and yes I did lose my virginity late so perhaps it's still important to me in that regard. I won't push someone away or judge someone if they choose to tell me their number. If they keep count then it's nobodies business but their own.
I personally just like to know my history and not let it get on top of me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am not asking for anyone's numbers, just general interest on how people count.
Do the people in your count include bad experiences? Minute men/women? Anything as long as there's penetration? Only if you came? Etc etc
I'm trying to find what mine is but not sure on the general consensus"
This is about how many we've met/fucked/whatever and not how many we've killed right?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I may just not be good at getting my point across but some people have manage to grasp it, most haven't. I'll take the blame for that given its the majority.
As I've said before it's a personal choice.
There are many circumstances in which some one would want to keep count, just because someone swings does not mean they sleep with the world. I'm not here but I'm very fussy. Have been on year for only a year but I haven't had many meets and I'm beginning to have less and less with the way people approach this but by hats just me. I like a bit of respect not someone that would perhaps be better suited to a blow up doll the way they speak of women.
Another example is how long people have been having sex or swinging, yes I am young and yes I did lose my virginity late so perhaps it's still important to me in that regard. I won't push someone away or judge someone if they choose to tell me their number. If they keep count then it's nobodies business but their own.
I personally just like to know my history and not let it get on top of me. "
I find it funny how many on here claim they're comfortable with sex and immediately start rationalizing how they have not slept with many people/that they're really picky
I get it. You're young and you probably meet guys on here and outside the swinging world. Contrary to idiotic belief, a lot of men in their twenties get caught up in how many men a potential partner has slept with. I am sure you have been asked already.
I know you're tempting yourself into providing a more conservative estimate of your number...hence this thread. Every woman I met had some kind of arbitrary rule which would lead to her removing men she had slept with but not had a relationship with/only given blowjobs to etc.
Do yourself a favor...be honest. In regards to everything. One of the reasons men often have reservations to dating "experienced" women is their propensity to be dishonest about their sexual experience...the lack of conviction makes one then doubt if they're actually all about good sex or simply about the attention.
Your experience is your experience, no one can take it from you. At the same time, if you're not upfront about it then it will only hurt yourself in the long run. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"I am not asking for anyone's numbers, just general interest on how people count.
Do the people in your count include bad experiences? Minute men/women? Anything as long as there's penetration? Only if you came? Etc etc
I'm trying to find what mine is but not sure on the general consensus"
At my age the old memorys not what it used to be. I cant honestly recall what happened 20 years ago. It'll all be a guestamet. What do you include in your count?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I may just not be good at getting my point across but some people have manage to grasp it, most haven't. I'll take the blame for that given its the majority.
As I've said before it's a personal choice.
There are many circumstances in which some one would want to keep count, just because someone swings does not mean they sleep with the world. I'm not here but I'm very fussy. Have been on year for only a year but I haven't had many meets and I'm beginning to have less and less with the way people approach this but by hats just me. I like a bit of respect not someone that would perhaps be better suited to a blow up doll the way they speak of women.
Another example is how long people have been having sex or swinging, yes I am young and yes I did lose my virginity late so perhaps it's still important to me in that regard. I won't push someone away or judge someone if they choose to tell me their number. If they keep count then it's nobodies business but their own.
I personally just like to know my history and not let it get on top of me.
I find it funny how many on here claim they're comfortable with sex and immediately start rationalizing how they have not slept with many people/that they're really picky
I get it. You're young and you probably meet guys on here and outside the swinging world. Contrary to idiotic belief, a lot of men in their twenties get caught up in how many men a potential partner has slept with. I am sure you have been asked already.
I know you're tempting yourself into providing a more conservative estimate of your number...hence this thread. Every woman I met had some kind of arbitrary rule which would lead to her removing men she had slept with but not had a relationship with/only given blowjobs to etc.
Do yourself a favor...be honest. In regards to everything. One of the reasons men often have reservations to dating "experienced" women is their propensity to be dishonest about their sexual experience...the lack of conviction makes one then doubt if they're actually all about good sex or simply about the attention.
Your experience is your experience, no one can take it from you. At the same time, if you're not upfront about it then it will only hurt yourself in the long run."
i've had loads of lovers, far more than most on here..i don't count, cos i dont need to justify anything. .i don't need numbers..if people feel i've had too much experience, its says more about them than me..
.
"good sex or attention" is that your way of attempting to shame..? i was 'after attention', and so therefore i've had lots of sex? c'mon..what utter bollocks, id would have had and. be having far more, if that was the case...
i've had lots of sex because i wanted to sleep with those i've slept with.. sex is natural, sex is fun and sex is great..mostly...
..mostly people who worry about other peoples numbers, worry they aren't going to be compared favourably to the previous experiences of the 'other', lets be honest...
i don't know how anyone can reach middle age and not have more lovers than seems outrageous at 20...seems like opportunities were wasted, if that's the case..i dont have regrets..its been an awesome ride so far and, long may it continue to be so...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We keep a "little black book", well and Excel spreadsheet TBH of the guys Shell has fucked. It's my personal turn on, the more the better.
We lost an original list a few years ago when a hard drive failed, but started a new list. Also lost some numbers from that when a backup restored to an old version. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've always had my list from when my number became more than 3 it's just want I wanted to do not for anyone else just me, I feel no need to justify myself to anyone, my number has grown a lot since joining fab and I'm more then happy with that, I do think it's more important for the list now as if god forbid I did catch anything which no matter now careful you are it can happen at least I can know when or who it could have been from the the names and dates. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh crap, this has reminded me i havent updated my list of the last 6.
I keep count just so i remmeber what ive been up to.
Main count is penetration.
But i also list without numbers everyone ive played with.
Its nice to look back and remember fond times that had slipped out of mind.
I get confused by all the comments of "why count" etc.
Fuck you- if the op wants to coubt then she wants to count. The reason for the count is not the point of the post or |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I may just not be good at getting my point across but some people have manage to grasp it, most haven't. I'll take the blame for that given its the majority.
As I've said before it's a personal choice.
There are many circumstances in which some one would want to keep count, just because someone swings does not mean they sleep with the world. I'm not here but I'm very fussy. Have been on year for only a year but I haven't had many meets and I'm beginning to have less and less with the way people approach this but by hats just me. I like a bit of respect not someone that would perhaps be better suited to a blow up doll the way they speak of women.
Another example is how long people have been having sex or swinging, yes I am young and yes I did lose my virginity late so perhaps it's still important to me in that regard. I won't push someone away or judge someone if they choose to tell me their number. If they keep count then it's nobodies business but their own.
I personally just like to know my history and not let it get on top of me.
I find it funny how many on here claim they're comfortable with sex and immediately start rationalizing how they have not slept with many people/that they're really picky
I get it. You're young and you probably meet guys on here and outside the swinging world. Contrary to idiotic belief, a lot of men in their twenties get caught up in how many men a potential partner has slept with. I am sure you have been asked already.
I know you're tempting yourself into providing a more conservative estimate of your number...hence this thread. Every woman I met had some kind of arbitrary rule which would lead to her removing men she had slept with but not had a relationship with/only given blowjobs to etc.
Do yourself a favor...be honest. In regards to everything. One of the reasons men often have reservations to dating "experienced" women is their propensity to be dishonest about their sexual experience...the lack of conviction makes one then doubt if they're actually all about good sex or simply about the attention.
Your experience is your experience, no one can take it from you. At the same time, if you're not upfront about it then it will only hurt yourself in the long run.
i've had loads of lovers, far more than most on here..i don't count, cos i dont need to justify anything. .i don't need numbers..if people feel i've had too much experience, its says more about them than me..
.
"good sex or attention" is that your way of attempting to shame..? i was 'after attention', and so therefore i've had lots of sex? c'mon..what utter bollocks, id would have had and. be having far more, if that was the case...
i've had lots of sex because i wanted to sleep with those i've slept with.. sex is natural, sex is fun and sex is great..mostly...
..mostly people who worry about other peoples numbers, worry they aren't going to be compared favourably to the previous experiences of the 'other', lets be honest...
i don't know how anyone can reach middle age and not have more lovers than seems outrageous at 20...seems like opportunities were wasted, if that's the case..i dont have regrets..its been an awesome ride so far and, long may it continue to be so...
"
I see sex a bit like food...I would say I dont judge anyone's partner count but thats a lie really. People have sex for lots of different reasons. Good sex, money, attention, love. It depends on the person...if a person is obfuscating their number then they obviously attach some level of shame to their sexual experience. I would indeed question why they're partaking in something they're ashamed of.
Its weird, you're framing my answer to OP from your own perspective which makes no sense. Just because you have slept with a lot of people, doesnt mean OP has or even will. Just because you dont have regrets/reservations, doesnt mean that OP doesnt.
I've never really gotten the "you question my partner count because of your own fear of inadequacy"...there is an element of it that could be true, but I also know that people are of varying sexual interests and expectations...even on a swingers site. There are plenty of women who have been uncomfortable about some of the experiences I have had...does that make them insecure too??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having used adult dating sites for 10 years or so, I can safely say I have no idea how many women I've slept with. However, its been a full sexual experience each time, none of this quick bj from a random or fingering someone I don't know somewhere. I've never cum too soon and I don't do quickies so I've always had full experiences with everyone I've chosen to meet. Whether they've all orgasmed, I honestly don't know, but I always try my best to make it happen, and if any have faked it they've been damn good actors  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I count.
I count men if there cock enters either my arse or minge.
I count women if either one of us licks the other.
I manage to remember the number as I always make a note of it when I goes up   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I count.
I count men if there cock enters either my arse or minge.
I count women if either one of us licks the other.
I manage to remember the number as I always make a note of it when I goes up "
How about being fingered or giving a handjob do those count? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I honestly don't know the exact figure.
Not because theres been so many just ive been in some unusual group situations which make it hard to count.
I go by if i can remember thier name and if oral/penetrarion took place |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I count.
I count men if there cock enters either my arse or minge.
I count women if either one of us licks the other.
I manage to remember the number as I always make a note of it when I goes up
How about being fingered or giving a handjob do those count? "
No i dont count those as anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Don't know if this has already been said but it could get difficult to maintain counts. I have a friend who's been to a swingers club and had multiple cocks whilst on a swing from all directions. In situations like that you may find it impossible to count unless someone is keeping a count for you.
Need to ask yourself also... Is there a number you want to reach or not reach.
Also you may want to keep a diary of your sexual encounters. Will ensure you keep abreast of numbers and can remember our be reminded of them. I met a girl who wrote a sex blog of her experiences. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are a lot of questions to the OP about why she feels the need to count and I will attempt to say why.
As a woman, you are constantly fed these subliminal messages that having multiple partners makes you a slut or something of that order but guess what it tells men about the same thing,
So I am not surprised you are asking this, OP. I will say one thing though.
Life is too short and we have come a long way to believe in such bullshit. It is no one's business how many people you have sex with but your own. And you have nothing to be ashamed of if you are fulfilling your sexual desires. I know we are all conditioned in one way or the other but you have to make an effort to check yourself from thinking such outdated and silly ideas and go ahead and enjoy yourself!
I, for one, won't judge you for it."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a list.
I have such a terrible memory I made it just to see if I could remember. I didn't make it for anyone else but I like lists. If someone asks me a direct question, they get a direct answer. I'm painfully honest and whilst it's not for everyone, I'm not interested in basing any relationship on lies. If someone has issue with my past then they won't be in my future. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I may just not be good at getting my point across but some people have manage to grasp it, most haven't. I'll take the blame for that given its the majority.
As I've said before it's a personal choice.
There are many circumstances in which some one would want to keep count, just because someone swings does not mean they sleep with the world. I'm not here but I'm very fussy. Have been on year for only a year but I haven't had many meets and I'm beginning to have less and less with the way people approach this but by hats just me. I like a bit of respect not someone that would perhaps be better suited to a blow up doll the way they speak of women.
Another example is how long people have been having sex or swinging, yes I am young and yes I did lose my virginity late so perhaps it's still important to me in that regard. I won't push someone away or judge someone if they choose to tell me their number. If they keep count then it's nobodies business but their own.
I personally just like to know my history and not let it get on top of me. "
I think what OP was getting at in the original question was 'what counts?'
It seems that there are a number of catagories that are applicable, so it makes sense to keep track of everything... guys, girls, oral, penetration, toys, snogs or furtive glances at Sainsbury's. It's more about what's important to OP, and it would make sense to make a little note of every encounter if that's what's important. At least then there's a record to refer back to, and no doubt.
Each to their own. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh... and you only make it to the list if your penis has been in my vagayjay!
Unless you're a woman... in which case you get on the girlie list if I've been intimate with your vagayjay. "
So have a few people sneaked past the list on the back road? :p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Oh... and you only make it to the list if your penis has been in my vagayjay!
Unless you're a woman... in which case you get on the girlie list if I've been intimate with your vagayjay.
So have a few people sneaked past the list on the back road? :p"
Certainly not!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I count anything that is sexual in nature. I do a fair amount of BDSM sessions that don't include penis-in-vagina sex but I include them in my rough tally.
Penetration alone isn't a broad enough definition to me - it actively excludes the large amounts of queer sex I've had over the years (and I'm pretty sure than vagina/vagina sex is every bit as legitimate as penis/vagina sex or penis/anus sex). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
