FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > You never really know who you are meeting
You never really know who you are meeting
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By *ackard OP Man
over a year ago
North West & beyond |
12 years ago this month I had met up a few times with a couple (not local to me). Anyway a great time was had at each meet and we were even joined by a female friend of theirs at one meet. I lost contact with them but often wondered if they where still on the scene, so I did a bit of searching on Google to see if I could find them on any sites. What I turned up shocked me. I found out that the male half of the couple had been found guilty (a few year after our meets) of having sex with an underage teenager, the article from a reputible source also said he had a previous conviction in the 90's for rape.
It just goes to show that you never truly know who you are meeting. I feel quite sick to think I was on friendly terms with someone who was a rapist and a pedo.  |
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I have wondered about this before myself after meeting a few certain people on here in the past, the way they behaved with me and i wondered if they were like that with their wives etc. You just never no as there are a lot of people like that about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's really freaky.
I would hate to have been in your situation of discovering that op.
It would almost put me off for life. But worse thing is now I'm going through my head my meets and picking out the ones that didn't seem quite right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's true you never know, there's a lady on here that I've blocked as we had crossed paths when I was quite young and I'd rather not have any contact with her as she'd be in trouble with the law |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's the risk everyone takes when we meet up with strangers off a website.
It is very easy to create a persona online.
I bet you must have felt like a shit.
Sorry to hear what happened to that kid and to you OP.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's awful.
I know people (not sexual) that I thought were ok and it turns out they weren't. Think child abuse. It really shocks you because this person I thought seemed like a nice guy. |
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By *ackard OP Man
over a year ago
North West & beyond |
I feel for his wife, I found something on she posted on Facebook and Twitter and clearly she didn't know what he'd been up to. I also feel for their female friend as I know her kids had been to their house, she must have had thoughts racing through her mind when she found out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?"
This^
This site attracts every kind of undesirable and weirdo there is. Just trust your instincts and if anything makes you feel suspicious or uneasy then you're probably right. |
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Not sure what point the OP is trying to make, is it like "catching they ghey" by shaking hands with a poof? Is he afraid the sexual contact from decades ago will be like aids and infect him him some dormant form of sexual depravity?
Or is it shock horror that everyone has multiple facets to their lives and personalities, and you met them in a social setting that specifically excludes all but one, namely NSA sex, and then later you discover something you didn't know at the time?
I had fond memories of Gary Glitter, fact is him and Mike Leander made some great music, and made it the hard way (overdubbing hand clapping on a reel to reel etc) and 30 years later he goes to PC world and gets caught and suddenly ***I*** am supposed to feel dirty for my previously fond memories of snogging a girl behind the dodgems while "Rock n Roll part 1" is booming out of the speakers?
In the security industry they recently changed the reporting from 10 years to 20, and the staff found out that a guy who had been working their for 12 years was convicted of murder 19 years ago, the guy in question is the same guy he has been for 12 years, the same workmate, everything, but suddenly on this revelation some of the staff feel uncomfortable and unhappy around him.
AS my gran used to say when such skeletons were revealed, OK, now we know all about that person's skeletons, now what about yours, because we all have them. |
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
This^
This site attracts every kind of undesirable and weirdo there is. Just trust your instincts and if anything makes you feel suspicious or uneasy then you're probably right. "
Plus CRB checks are only if someone has actually been caught are they not? |
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
This^
This site attracts every kind of undesirable and weirdo there is. Just trust your instincts and if anything makes you feel suspicious or uneasy then you're probably right. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a good point, I would like to see police checks done at clubs? How do you know who your talking to? (Male)"
Men? What about the lovely Rose West. She was a willing swinger/murderer/torturer. I'm pretty Sure being a woman doesnt disqualify anyone from being a paedophile or sexual predator. |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
It's gonna happen. In retail alone, you are gonna smile and wish 'have a good day' to more than a handful of pedos, rapist, murderers, animal beaters... the list goes on......
as does life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a good point, I would like to see police checks done at clubs? How do you know who your talking to? (Male)
Men? What about the lovely Rose West. She was a willing swinger/murderer/torturer. I'm pretty Sure being a woman doesnt disqualify anyone from being a paedophile or sexual predator."
I think he was just stating it was the male half of the couple writing the comment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's life like the green river killer ! Killed more than 40 women and his wife thought we was the best man on the earth!
Until she found out! We will never know people past is a risk! Hoping for the best! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a guy from this site a couple of times and it turned out he was on the register for crimes against children. Still makes my skin crawl.... I have children and he came to my house (although obviously they weren't there!)
Don't think he's on here now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a good point, I would like to see police checks done at clubs? How do you know who your talking to? (Male)
Men? What about the lovely Rose West. She was a willing swinger/murderer/torturer. I'm pretty Sure being a woman doesnt disqualify anyone from being a paedophile or sexual predator.
I think he was just stating it was the male half of the couple writing the comment "
Correct!! Thx for pointing that out |
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By *ackard OP Man
over a year ago
North West & beyond |
"I met a guy from this site a couple of times and it turned out he was on the register for crimes against children. Still makes my skin crawl.... I have children and he came to my house (although obviously they weren't there!)
Don't think he's on here now"
You can relate to how I felt when I found out. I'm glad I'm not the only person to experience this.
I can't change anything and I won't let what I found out bother me. But I felt I needed an outlet to say what I'd discovered out rather than bottle it up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree there! I have had this happen before with someone i really fancied who actually felt it necessary to confess to me on our second meet about his past, thinking it would be therapeutic to "get it off his chest". However it had the opposite effect and I didn't take the meet further and he subsequently left the site so I don't know how he has fared in life. He may well be on under a different profile of course.
Hadni known about his.misdemeanours I would never have.met him at all hence why I require verifications. |
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"That's life like the green river killer ! Killed more than 40 women and his wife thought we was the best man on the earth!
Until she found out! We will never know people past is a risk! Hoping for the best! X"
The Feds reckon he's responsible for over a hundred killings and missing persons. He's confessed to forty. He got the death penalty taken off his conviction with the fact that he would help police find the bodies of his victims.
I sound like some weirdo serial killer fan but I'm not  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
You never really know who your meeting.
Of course finding out these facts...That's only the ones who have actually been caught.
We don't know how many people are doing whatever and have never been caught, and they might live down the road.
it's nothing to do with fab is life and it can be nasty...
Trust your own instincts and be careful and responsible for yourself. |
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"CRB checks only work if the person has been caught!
No such thing as a CRB these days it's a DBS and lots of reasons a person would have one
A x"
A DBS is certainly mandatory for working in a school or in nursing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
This^
This site attracts every kind of undesirable and weirdo there is. Just trust your instincts and if anything makes you feel suspicious or uneasy then you're probably right.
Plus CRB checks are only if someone has actually been caught are they not? "
And would make the cost to get into clubs rise |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"That's life like the green river killer ! Killed more than 40 women and his wife thought we was the best man on the earth!
Until she found out! We will never know people past is a risk! Hoping for the best! X"
Not just the green river killer.
There's plenty of serial killers who led double lives |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"That's life like the green river killer ! Killed more than 40 women and his wife thought we was the best man on the earth!
Until she found out! We will never know people past is a risk! Hoping for the best! X
The Feds reckon he's responsible for over a hundred killings and missing persons. He's confessed to forty. He got the death penalty taken off his conviction with the fact that he would help police find the bodies of his victims.
I sound like some weirdo serial killer fan but I'm not "
I am a serial killer fan and maybe a bit weird  |
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DBS checks are not a wonderful thing as most people think. A lot of past history can / dose gets filtered for various reasons and even on an enhanced checks Police comments can get removed if it’s relevant to a current / ongoing investigation. Unless someone is on a barred list it’s amassing the types of individuals who can & do work with venerable individuals.  |
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
Clairs law means you could actually do this"
No. It doesn't. The police won't give this information to just anyone, they have to consider if it is relevant to that person. Chances are a swing partner won't be considered relevant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
Clairs law means you could actually do this"
Total tosh, a DBS check can only be requested by registered employeres and the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme is subject to the police assessing your right to know such information.
You can't go and request the information of anyone you want without having a good valid reason.
I can't see thw police saying you want to possibly have sex with someone as a valid reason |
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Clare's law isn't about DBS checks. It's about women in a potentially risky relationship being able to go to the police and request information on their partners past.
The key parts being 'request' and 'partner'. Police don't have to give that information and it is highly unlikely they will give it to anyone who is not in a long term relationship with that person. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
Clairs law means you could actually do this"
Very much doubt the police would give this information. It is designed for those who are in a relationship or know someone in a relationship and there are concerns that the relationship might be abusive. Somehow I don't think a swingers meet would be grounds for disclosure. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Short of asking all potential playmates for CRB checks prior to meeting, what can anyone do?
Clairs law means you could actually do this
Very much doubt the police would give this information. It is designed for those who are in a relationship or know someone in a relationship and there are concerns that the relationship might be abusive. Somehow I don't think a swingers meet would be grounds for disclosure."
Only if they are caught and convicted |
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