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Question for ladies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What was the second meet for? Think communication has broken down.
If I had felt insulted or pressurised then I would have left and not stuck around the enjoy a bottle of wine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
OP you've had a fair few meets. Surely you weren't naive enough to go to a hotel room expecting a social ?
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!
OP you've had a fair few meets. Surely you weren't naive enough to go to a hotel room expecting a social ?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
Meet in a pub and book room on booking.com and not in advance , it's instant booking on there if your both in agreement that way no misunderstanding and no payout till you get to hotel. I know we have the choice to change our minds but surely you knew before the 2nd meet that you wanted to have sex with this guy ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
That is depressing and worrying. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
Sorry but I personally feel like you are leading these men on!
A social is to see if you click, if you then arrange a second meet in a hotel, it obviously means a sexual play meet of some kind, I think you seriously need to rethink how you do things on here. As I think the term 'cocktease' comes to mind and this is coming from another female  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
WTF, seriously????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
WTF, seriously?????"
Haha |
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
That is depressing and worrying."
Is it really, i dont think its very fair to let the man pay for a hotel room and then not get any sex, why would he have payed for a hotel room if he didnt think you were going to have sex, he didnt think you were going there for a chin wag and a cuppa did he.  |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!
Sorry but I personally feel like you are leading these men on!
A social is to see if you click, if you then arrange a second meet in a hotel, it obviously means a sexual play meet of some kind, I think you seriously need to rethink how you do things on here. As I think the term 'cocktease' comes to mind and this is coming from another female "
this..what do you thnk hotel rooms are for? not a social..obviously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
That is depressing and worrying.
Is it really, i dont think its very fair to let the man pay for a hotel room and then not get any sex, why would he have payed for a hotel room if he didnt think you were going to have sex, he didnt think you were going there for a chin wag and a cuppa did he. "
I would never have sex with anyone that I didn't like, let alone lead him on in that way.
To say that you would have sex with someone that you didn't like is depressing.
Nothing beyond mutual attraction and want will make me have sex. No pity, no pressure and certainly no consideration of what money may have been spent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
WTF, seriously?????"
More women like this?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
That is depressing and worrying.
Is it really, i dont think its very fair to let the man pay for a hotel room and then not get any sex, why would he have payed for a hotel room if he didnt think you were going to have sex, he didnt think you were going there for a chin wag and a cuppa did he. "
Personally I wouldn't let anyone pay for a hotel room anyway !! 50/50
But saying that I wouldn't let one be booked unless I was happy to fuck him. |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
Absolutely no one should ever have sex with anyone they don't like just because it's expected....however, if after a social meet I didn't want to have sex with that person I certainly wouldn't meet them in a hotel room regardless of who paid for it...... different if you go there with the intention of sex and something goes wrong or you suddenly feel in danger....then fuck the wine and get out of there. |
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
WTF, seriously?????
More women like this?
"
More women like what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
Absolutely no one should ever have sex with anyone they don't like just because it's expected....however, if after a social meet I didn't want to have sex with that person I certainly wouldn't meet them in a hotel room regardless of who paid for it...... different if you go there with the intention of sex and something goes wrong or you suddenly feel in danger....then fuck the wine and get out of there. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
WTF, seriously?????
More women like this?
More women like what?"
I was just poking fun at this "i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long " |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
No No No if somebody doesn't want to have sex then they shouldn't feel pressurised into it.
Having said that OP why did you agree to a second meet and get as far as the hotel room surely you knew what he would expect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't have a hotel meet set up after an initial meet if I wasn't going to have sex.
Having said that, I also wouldn't let a guy pay the entirety of a hotel cost (unless he was staying there anyway for work or something). When we have hotel meets we pay for the room so that issues never arise if I decide I don't want sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!
OP you've had a fair few meets. Surely you weren't naive enough to go to a hotel room expecting a social ?
"
Hell no! I fancied him and was really keen to meet in a hotel! A few things came.to light however when we were in the room which put.me off taking things further however..which I won't go into on here.
He left the wine incidentally so as I had taken a train from a distance I decided to have.some, and why not?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on. |
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
What an arsehole X
But least you did enjoy the vino x
Hope you out hope m on here for other unfortunate people who may think of meeting x |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on. "
I think we all got the wrong idea from your initial post. You did the right thing. Everyone..male and female have the right to say no or change their mind and that should be respected. I know if I was with a guy who changed his mind, I wouldn't be turned on by trying to force him into it out of obligation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on. "
So why was your intro post so different? I personally feel that this was not going your way in the replies so you provided alternative details.
There is always somewhere to go- hotel reception, bar, train station....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
I mean, if you don't want to have sex with someone and you have sex with them anyway... well... I'm actually lost for words.
Paying a hotel room doesn't entitle someone to sex. You shouldn't feel obliged to put out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on.
So why was your intro post so different? I personally feel that this was not going your way in the replies so you provided alternative details.
There is always somewhere to go- hotel reception, bar, train station......."
Er nope. Absolutely that is the way it was and I totally felt justified not taking it further. I just didn't explain it thoroughly so was obviously confusing other forum users. I am without exception always honest with folk and don't take kindly to being deceived by anyone. Not should anyone else on fab. We all have our self respect. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on.
So why was your intro post so different? I personally feel that this was not going your way in the replies so you provided alternative details.
There is always somewhere to go- hotel reception, bar, train station......."
^^ I totally agree with this, so much back pedalling as always |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
This is why I either pay for the hotel or go halves - sex isn't a given and should never be presented as so and I'd rather not deal with anger if not. Luckily I've not experienced it but I have had second thoughts and had the joy of a large bed and freestanding bath with a fb instead. |
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well aslong as the ref behaved lol..........
yes read them ,,,,,,,,,,,, understands the annoyance . life is full of them ,,,,,,and more awaiting to follow................ |
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!
Sorry but I personally feel like you are leading these men on!
A social is to see if you click, if you then arrange a second meet in a hotel, it obviously means a sexual play meet of some kind, I think you seriously need to rethink how you do things on here. As I think the term 'cocktease' comes to mind and this is coming from another female "
Make that from 2 females 
So OP you had a nice social and agreed to another meet, this time in his hotel room. What did you think you were there for, a friendly game of Monopoly maybe??
You aren't a newbie so you can't claim naivety. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!
Sorry but I personally feel like you are leading these men on!
A social is to see if you click, if you then arrange a second meet in a hotel, it obviously means a sexual play meet of some kind, I think you seriously need to rethink how you do things on here. As I think the term 'cocktease' comes to mind and this is coming from another female
Make that from 2 females
So OP you had a nice social and agreed to another meet, this time in his hotel room. What did you think you were there for, a friendly game of Monopoly maybe??
You aren't a newbie so you can't claim naivety."
Cocktease???? Are u serious?? Are you inferring i just have sex with the guy and get on with it after the crap he came away with??? Yeah sure! I don't actually believe a few of you have read exactly what I said??? I don't have to justify any of my actions.
I think the word miaow cones to mind here and on that note I will now bow out of this thread There are many things folk say on these forums I completely.disagree with
We obviously all have different views on this rather thorney issue so let's agree to disagree - after all, tis the season to be jolly and all that...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. I personally think that you thought everyone would support you and think you were hilarious for getting the wine- a real feminist win, and when that did not happen you the provided a wholly different scenario as if to garner sympathy.
Your initial point was that he made you feel like a hooker, then you decided it was actually the fact that he couldn't perform and had been lied to. I personally feel that if that had been the case then you could have put it in your initial post and left as soon as it was clear that was the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though."
Must admit I'd do the same or if I did not want sex (I'd not of meet him again) and I'd give him the money for the room. M |
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"Ok
To clear this up...I have.had.many meets and of.course am not naive in any way. I'm a big girl and know the ropes. I fancied this guy and was very verk keen to meet him to play. He said he would organise and pay for the room and we met there with me travelling a distance. When we met henmade a few confessions about some issues and problems he had which hendidnt feel he could say on the first.meet. I decided then not to take things further but no train was due for three hours, it was pouring rain and there was no place for me to go!
He left fairly angry as I wasn't prepared to take things further. He was the one to deceive.me - no way was I leading him on. I have never done that with anyone in the past.
He is.not on the site.now hence the reason I can put this post on. "
Well if we dont know what these issues or problems that he had were how do we know if we should feel sorry for him or think you were in the right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
if you didn't feel you wanted sex with him, why take it as far as letting him book a hotel for a second meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
What a twat . |
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I don't think anyone should feel obligated to have sex but If I agreed to meet someone in a hotel room I'd think it was a given it was for sex or why not simply meet in a bar
If he never discussed booking the hotel with you before he booked it but you didn't feel ready for that step after the first meet I wouldn't have gone to the hotel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a similar situation where I've met someone for a pre arranged second meet,meal and back to his place.
I went 50/50 on the meal but during the meal and conversation little alarm bells rang and I decided to leave things at just the meal.
The guy was very pissed off but, self preservation etc etc comes into it and no way should we feel pressured to take things further even if expected to do so.
I asked a member of bar staff to walk me to my vehicle.We have a voice and a choice.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i can understand why he would expect sex and if i was you i would of had sex with him anyway. If i didnt like him i wouldnt of stayed long though.
That is depressing and worrying.
Is it really, i dont think its very fair to let the man pay for a hotel room and then not get any sex, why would he have payed for a hotel room if he didnt think you were going to have sex, he didnt think you were going there for a chin wag and a cuppa did he. "
wow so you would have sex because you felt like you should .not because you'd .want too .way wrong
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also think that you shouldn't have agreed to a hotel meet for a second meet as it's fairly obvious what the expectation was. It could also have turned a lot nastier than him.slamminh out the room, it was very naive.
I'm also very sceptical about the additional details. Your opening post was quite detailed so why leave out important details which totally change the perspective of a story.
I believe, as others have said, you expected the thread to go an entirely different way to what it did. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I've read the thread, and I'm not sure which section of stories it should be in or probably the good wine guide..
Everyone can say no....
Question op when asked why you didn't leave you said no train it was raining etc...
What if the guy hadn't have left 'his room' and asked you to leave. What would you have done then. ??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a similar situation where I've met someone for a pre arranged second meet,meal and back to his place.
I went 50/50 on the meal but during the meal and conversation little alarm bells rang and I decided to leave things at just the meal.
The guy was very pissed off but, self preservation etc etc comes into it and no way should we feel pressured to take things further even if expected to do so.
I asked a member of bar staff to walk me to my vehicle.We have a voice and a choice. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The second post doesn't quite fit with the first, but that aside and assuming the question for the ladies is Is it OK to change your mind when someone else had booked a room and you've turned up? the answer has to be absolutely yes. Anyone can back out at any point, especially if additional info comes to light or they start acting in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
However if there's no change in circumstances between arranging it and deciding its a no go I'd say the reasonable thing to do is offer to share the cost of the room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can never know 100% what someone will do or say, even after extensive conversation.
I've had great sex with a few people, only to find afterwards that they are racist or bigots. Too late for me to change my mind. |
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"You can never know 100% what someone will do or say, even after extensive conversation.
I've had great sex with a few people, only to find afterwards that they are racist or bigots. Too late for me to change my mind. "
You often find out what people are really like after you have had sex with them but this is different, or you find out what they are really like when youre having sex with them, in which case its best to say its time to go, im thinking of a few times this happened to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well i feel sorry for him, payed for hotel and bottle of wine, and left the site. Seeing as we dont know what he said and how nasty he was."
that's terrible .how should she just sleep with him .her choice to leave .and well done in doing so
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for the second time after a successful social and he booked and paid for a hotel. When I met him in the room he made it clear not in so many words, that as he had kindly paid for the room he expected sex or at least me to strip off and play with him.
I didn't feel on meeting him that second time that I wanted to do this. In fact he.made me feel like a hooker - he was angry and walked.out slamming the door.
It now.makes.me think of the wisdom of the guy paying for the hotel as I don't want a similar thing to happen ever again
Only.consolation was I drank a lovely bottle of merlot!"
He should of stayed in the room and you should of left . A little bit of an over reaction on his part and yours for asking everyone if he was in the wrong . I did say he was a twat for acting like that . Which I stick by . |
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