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Look don't touch

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

Not by me.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

The only people who can answer that are the ones in the marriage. I wouldn't personally class it as cheating but some spouses class looking at other people in the street as a massive betrayal.

Each marriage is different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can cheat without being married XXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You can cheat without being married XXX"

Very true. Anyone who is married/attached.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating. "

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine."

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Old saying u can look but u can't touch ,so as long as your not doing anything physical then I say no op it's not cheating just window surfing lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating. "

this for me... if they lied to me about going somewhere then it wouldn't matter if they didn't do something.. especially as why hadnt we gone together

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them"

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating."
anything behind your partners back or that would cause them distress if they found out is cheating...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating. anything behind your partners back or that would cause them distress if they found out is cheating..."

Interesting theory. However I totally disagree.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

Haha in that case we can play with words then, I didn't mean to cheat on you, I just fell into her vagina with my erect penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

Haha in that case we can play with words then, I didn't mean to cheat on you, I just fell into her vagina with my erect penis. "

Haha think that is slightly different. So if a man went to a lap dance club while on a lads holiday, but didn't tell his partner, is that cheating?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's a husband in the club he is cheating

If it's a wife in the club it's research

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

In my past monogamous relationships I would have counted that as cheating.

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By *AURA6969TV/TS over a year ago

RUGBY

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating. anything behind your partners back or that would cause them distress if they found out is cheating...

Interesting theory. However I totally disagree."
This is based on years working for relate and the official definition of cheating...

However not every one agrees and to be honest as you have stated that if you like someone you dont care if they are married. I would expect our views on this to be different...as while I am not dumb enough to think that I never play with cheats.. I will actively try not to x but that is why the world is interesting as we all have different views...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

Haha in that case we can play with words then, I didn't mean to cheat on you, I just fell into her vagina with my erect penis.

Haha think that is slightly different. So if a man went to a lap dance club while on a lads holiday, but didn't tell his partner, is that cheating?"
to some yes.. to others no. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me, no it wouldn't be but I wouldn't class sex with a stranger in a club as "betrayal" either. But if he so much as kissed a friend or work colleague or someone from everyday life that would be. I'm aware I'm not in the norm on this one though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them

I can understand being upset, but I don't class it as cheating. anything behind your partners back or that would cause them distress if they found out is cheating...

Interesting theory. However I totally disagree.This is based on years working for relate and the official definition of cheating...

It would be boring if we were all the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I totally understand where you're coming from with this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For me, no it wouldn't be but I wouldn't class sex with a stranger in a club as "betrayal" either. But if he so much as kissed a friend or work colleague or someone from everyday life that would be. I'm aware I'm not in the norm on this one though. "
what even if he didn't tell you and it just came out that he had been to a club without you. ( id be mortified if my partner had gone to a club/party without me )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't class the act of attending a club cheating but the intent behind it might lead to something else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some will call it cheating but it wouldn't be able to be used as an example of adultery in a divorce suit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some will call it cheating but it wouldn't be able to be used as an example of adultery in a divorce suit."

Good point

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

Well in the senerio the op puts then

Stag nights at a strip club is cheating

Watching porn at home is cheating

Nudism is cheating.

Any watching activsty would be cheating.

Not really sure a passive activaty can be called cheating.

Is having a solo wank cheating?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't class the act of attending a club cheating but the intent behind it might lead to something else."
for me it isnt the where. It would be the if it was behind my back... and lets face it your not really going to go as a single guy to a club and hope you dont get offered some fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheating? No.

If they are lying about it, that would be an issue for me.

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

In your example and reply ..where did they say they were going ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not really sure a passive activity can be called cheating.

Is having a solo wank cheating?

In the eyes of the Catholic Church, yes:

"You have heard that it was said to them of old: 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart." Gospel of Matthew, Ch. 5, Vers. 27-8

However, you'll be surprised how many Catholics - in spite of telling anyone who'll listen that the Bible contains the unalterable word of God - make excuses for their own behaviour...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So if a wife goes on a hen night and there's a stripper on and she gets frisky ie grinds against stripper puts money in pants etc is that cheating too if hubby getting a lap dance at spearmint rhino is cheating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swing clubs and strip clubs are *very* different situations.

Swing clubs are establishments that exist for the purpose of people having sex. Some people don't use them that way, and that's fine, but the point of them really is to meet people and have sex with them, or have sex with your partner and others, or have sex with your partner in front of others, or meet people to have sex with at a later date.

At a strip club, the point is not to try and have sex with the strippers.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

If you feel you have to hide it from a partner then it's certainly not healthy for the relationship.

It is not adultery as such, but it is possibly a betrayal. I would not use the word "cheating" but don't think that it is positive behaviour.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

Totally agree with this

Miss

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

If my relationship doesn't consist of trust, honesty and communication then I'm out.

I shouldn't have to keep asking if he has been to any clubs today or seen any strippers with the lads that shit should already been told and discussed with me otherwise I'm thinking well why hasn't he said anything did something happen OMG he must have cheated on me he seeing someone else.

I don't need that shit and certain won't put up with that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

The only people who can answer that are the ones in the marriage. I wouldn't personally class it as cheating but some spouses class looking at other people in the street as a massive betrayal.

Each marriage is different.

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

Not by me, if this was the case then watching porn would be classed as cheating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheating? No.

If they are lying about it, that would be an issue for me."

This. If a partner lies about it then it changes the dynamics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

The OP raises a number of excellent questions here - thanks

Firstly, if anyone is attending a sex club, its generally not to play bingo I guess lol - so;

1. Should we married men ever use clubs

2. Does attending club mean he is cheating

and conversely;

3. Should a married women use a club

4. Does a attending a club mean she is cheating

Lets not kid ourselves peeps, both married /attached men and women attend clubs without their other half knowing and in a vast majority of cases, want sex

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By *ercuryMan over a year ago

Grantham

It's only "window shopping"

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By *imply_SensualMan over a year ago

warrington

If I was in a relationship and my partner went to a swinging club without my knowledge, I would be very pissed off, whether they just watched or not. I would certainly be questioning the relationship, thats for sure.

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

Only if he has told lies to his partner about their whereabouts because they knew that their partner would be hurt

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"...

Lets not kid ourselves peeps, both married /attached men and women attend clubs without their other half knowing and in a vast majority of cases, want sex

Lets not project our own guilt onto people who do not cheat on their partners

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By *rMrs CumalotCouple over a year ago

East Mids

Surly it depends on if your keeping it a secret!

Anything you keep from your loved one is cheating ? Isn't it ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

No but if that's anyone other than your partners face you're using as a tuffet in your pics....then that probably is.../)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most people would be upset to find out a partner did this without telling them"
agreed!

if your together there's no secrets and it should 100 percent open and honest.Anything physical I.e kissing oral and full sex is cheating in my book and if you cared about someone you wouldn't do it but why go to a club alone if your with someone? I don't understand that.*MR

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

Define cheating?

Anything you do when you are in a relationship that you would not tell your partner because you know they would disapprove is cheating on their trust at the very least

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

"
so if you walk down the town and you take a second look at another person walking, with the 'they look mighty fine to me' thought in your head are you supposed to confess?

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

Define cheating?

Anything you do when you are in a relationship that you would not tell your partner because you know they would disapprove is cheating on their trust at the very least "
im going to draw up a 'conditional love' pre relationship agreement, if ever i consider it again...

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

In my opinion cheating isn't necessarily just a sexual act. Cheating is telling lies, avoiding the truth or not being straight with your partner about something you know they wouldn't like.

If your partner knows you're at the club and what you intend on doing there and approves then it can't be cheating.

If you didn't know, then it is cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

so if you walk down the town and you take a second look at another person walking, with the 'they look mighty fine to me' thought in your head are you supposed to confess?

I wouldnt be with somebody who though me eyeing up another guy was an act of betrayal of trust

who needs tyat type of paranoia in their life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

Define cheating?

Anything you do when you are in a relationship that you would not tell your partner because you know they would disapprove is cheating on their trust at the very least im going to draw up a 'conditional love' pre relationship agreement, if ever i consider it again...

if i though the guy i was with was going to sneak behind my back to have a wank over a naked woman so would i

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but then i have been single for most of my life so what the hell do i know about relationships

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

Define cheating?

if i though the guy i was with was going to sneak behind my back to have a wank over a naked woman so would i

"
i just want to know these days what one is 'expected' to do. i thought love was freely given, now i realise that most think its about placating insecurities..

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

Define cheating?

Anything you do when you are in a relationship that you would not tell your partner because you know they would disapprove is cheating on their trust at the very least "

Best defination so far

If I need to conceal my thoughts and actions from him then not only am I cheating on him but am also stressing myself out

So I finally told him honestly. I am not taking one for the team anymore

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Surly it depends on if your keeping it a secret!

Anything you keep from your loved one is cheating ? Isn't it ?

I don't think so. Some things are personal and you just maybe don't want to tell anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

But if they just haven't told you. and you haven't asked then there has been no lying.

In your example and reply ..where did they say they were going ?? "

They just wouldn't say anything. Surely as your own person, you don't have to explain your exact whereabouts to your partner every time you leave the house. That would surely be controlling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So if a wife goes on a hen night and there's a stripper on and she gets frisky ie grinds against stripper puts money in pants etc is that cheating too if hubby getting a lap dance at spearmint rhino is cheating"

Exactly my thoughts too......same as eyeing someone up in a bar...so that's cheating too?

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

these accusations of cheating just come down to control measures, based on your own insecurities, no one has the right to own someone like that..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"these accusations of cheating just come down to control measures, based on your own insecurities, no one has the right to own someone like that..

That's what I've just being trying to explain but couldn't find the right words.

I'm an independent woman, and I could think of nothing worse than having to explain my whereabouts and my actions to someone 24/7. Just because you're married/attached doesn't make you joined at the hip. You are still 2 seperate people with your own lives and surely entitled to come and you go as you please, without any need for explanations or the third degree about where you've been.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/12/16 18:18:26]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

we wouldn't say so ourselves but others may have different oppinions

that would depend on weather he was just watching ,

or if he had a rageing hardon and wanking furiously as he watched

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

we wouldn't say so ourselves but others may have different oppinions

that would depend on weather he was just watching ,

or if he had a rageing hardon and wanking furiously as he watched"
why would that make a difference?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

No but if that's anyone other than your partners face you're using as a tuffet in your pics....then that probably is.../)"

Ah yes, one of my top fabbed photos, it's a good one isn't it

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

Both remain independant people but both are now part of a couple (two people) too. One doesn't want their partner's feelings hurt; unless one has a partner who relishes being cheated on, having sex with others without their knowledge will hurt their feelings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For me, no it wouldn't be but I wouldn't class sex with a stranger in a club as "betrayal" either. But if he so much as kissed a friend or work colleague or someone from everyday life that would be. I'm aware I'm not in the norm on this one though. what even if he didn't tell you and it just came out that he had been to a club without you. ( id be mortified if my partner had gone to a club/party without me ) "

If it "came out" I'd be far more pissed off at the fact he hadn't been appropriately discreet and had allowed other people to interfere in our relationship than the fact he'd been. But I'd also be pissed off if he decided to tell me. I don't want to know. That's how we work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

we wouldn't say so ourselves but others may have different oppinions

that would depend on weather he was just watching ,

or if he had a rageing hardon and wanking furiously as he watchedwhy would that make a difference?"

it doesn't , it was a light hearted comment ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

And they only get hurt if the cheating comes to light.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

And they only get hurt if the cheating comes to light."
couples go on about its only nsa sex, but all of a sudden, it becomes like this sacred taboo, for anyone else, to have any..i find that paradox, highly amusing

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

And they only get hurt if the cheating comes to light.couples go on about its only nsa sex, but all of a sudden, it becomes like this sacred taboo, for anyone else, to have any..i find that paradox, highly amusing"

Some may; I don't. He is free to have NSA sex with whoever he wants who wants him too. Ditto with me. But sex, NSA or not, is not the major part of the relationship

However, if I have to conceal my feelings and needs from him and start cheating on him is when I would consider our relationship over

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

Some may; I don't. He is free to have NSA sex with whoever he wants who wants him too. Ditto with me. But sex, NSA or not, is not the major part of the relationship

However, if I have to conceal my feelings and needs from him and start cheating on him is when I would consider our relationship over"
so, if its not the major part of the relationship what is? would you stay, if one day it became sexless?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" if its not the major part of the relationship what is? would you stay, if one day it became sexless?"

Why do people assume that if a relationship becomes sexless then people wouldn't stay?

I'm with some of my partners for more than the sex...

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By *uperock99Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "
question is why would a partner go to a club by themselves without telling them, the intend or temptation might be there, betrayal of trust also.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

A very good question . My first thought is no its not cheating . But put yourself in your other halfs shoes . And its them at a swingers club just watching . Id not be happy if my partner did it behind my back .

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

Some may; I don't. He is free to have NSA sex with whoever he wants who wants him too. Ditto with me. But sex, NSA or not, is not the major part of the relationship

However, if I have to conceal my feelings and needs from him and start cheating on him is when I would consider our relationship overso, if its not the major part of the relationship what is? would you stay, if one day it became sexless?"

There is more to a relationship than just sex. I enjoy his company, we go on holidays together, we share our concerns and our joys and oh, yes, we have sex together and with other people together and seperately too

And one day, if it becomes sexless (not quite sure why that would happen) we will still have all the other things in the relationship

If I could not have sex, then I would like him to find someone else for NSA sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? question is why would a partner go to a club by themselves without telling them, the intend or temptation might be there, betrayal of trust also."

Because surely people are free to go where they want to in life? My husband has been to strip clubs without asking me, he's his own person, a grown man, why should he need my permission?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"fb or fwb don't need to tell anything to each other. They are not in a relationship; they are in for regular sex only

Being in a relationship, whether married or not, brings emotional considerations into play

What makes you think that FWB's don't have a relationship?

Some may; I don't. He is free to have NSA sex with whoever he wants who wants him too. Ditto with me. But sex, NSA or not, is not the major part of the relationship

And one day, if it becomes sexless (not quite sure why that would happen) we will still have all the other things in the relationship

If I could not have sex, then I would like him to find someone else for NSA sex"

There are many reasons that relationships become sexless.

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By *uperock99Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Because surely people are free to go where they want to in life? My husband has been to strip clubs without asking me, he's his own person, a grown man, why should he need my permission?"
it's not about freedom, when your with someone you become partners and if your husbands done that to you I can see why you would too but hey everyone has got their idea but you were asking on the forum for what people think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Because surely people are free to go where they want to in life? My husband has been to strip clubs without asking me, he's his own person, a grown man, why should he need my permission? it's not about freedom, when your with someone you become partners and if your husbands done that to you I can see why you would too but hey everyone has got their idea but you were asking on the forum for what people think."

I know I asked

I don't have any issues, I enjoy healthy debates. Im interested in people's different perceptions. My husband hasn't done anything to me, I think you've misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because surely people are free to go where they want to in life? My husband has been to strip clubs without asking me, he's his own person, a grown man, why should he need my permission? it's not about freedom, when your with someone you become partners and if your husbands done that to you I can see why you would too but hey everyone has got their idea but you were asking on the forum for what people think.

I know I asked

I don't have any issues, I enjoy healthy debates. Im interested in people's different perceptions. My husband hasn't done anything to me, I think you've misunderstood."

So...IS that the hubbies face your straddled on your profile pics??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Because surely people are free to go where they want to in life? My husband has been to strip clubs without asking me, he's his own person, a grown man, why should he need my permission? it's not about freedom, when your with someone you become partners and if your husbands done that to you I can see why you would too but hey everyone has got their idea but you were asking on the forum for what people think.

I know I asked

I don't have any issues, I enjoy healthy debates. Im interested in people's different perceptions. My husband hasn't done anything to me, I think you've misunderstood.

So...IS that the hubbies face your straddled on your profile pics??"

What does that have to do with people attending a sex club to watch?

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

If the spouse didn't know, I wouldn't call it cheating, but deceitful

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

I agree. If you are in a solid relationship, certainly as solid as marriage then you would know eachother well enough to know eachothers acceptable boundaries. If you purposely cross those boundaries with a third party without your partner knowing then I'd definitely consider it cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

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By *uperock99Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

If the spouse didn't know, I wouldn't call it cheating, but deceitful"

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things."

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough" "

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would say no personally. However there are many who would say it is. I find its no worse than him going to a strip joint except the difference being he is watching people have sex. The moment he crosses that line though well you know the rest, unless he has genuinely been given permission to do so

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case. "

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore"

That doesn't have anything to do with my original question.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

Not to me, no. It wouldn't bother me at all. I know it would bother some, but I still see that as more deceitful than actually cheating.

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By *ercuryMan over a year ago

Grantham

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating?

If the spouse didn't know, I wouldn't call it cheating, but deceitful"

As is a wife who tells her husband that she only spent £50 on the handbag that actually cost £200.

Deceit comes in many guises.

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore

That doesn't have anything to do with my original question. "

No, it doesn't

But you bought it up as your response. And I have just given you a straight-forward solution to your predicament: "I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore

That doesn't have anything to do with my original question.

No, it doesn't

But you bought it up as your response. And I have just given you a straight-forward solution to your predicament: "I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.""

When it comes to marriage, no solution is straight forward.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree that marriage is straight forward - there are many aspects of marriage that can lead to deceit and hurt ...but the loving companionship, the passion and us and downs of a lifetime together are worth it -

some people are happy living on their own, some people have a deep need to be part of a couple and are prepared to make compromises and work on it together, m x

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By *ifuwMan over a year ago

Hull

It depends on each relationship. If i did that at the beginning of my relationship with my wife. yes she would of classed that as cheating even if i said where i was going. If i did it now she would have a go at me for wasting that money and not taking part. Every one's relationship evolves. So what might be a yes now could be a very big no in the future

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Totally agree that marriage is straight forward - there are many aspects of marriage that can lead to deceit and hurt ...but the loving companionship, the passion and us and downs of a lifetime together are worth it -

some people are happy living on their own, some people have a deep need to be part of a couple and are prepared to make compromises and work on it together, m x"

It takes 2 to make compromises though for it to be successful.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

" if its not the major part of the relationship what is? would you stay, if one day it became sexless?

Why do people assume that if a relationship becomes sexless then people wouldn't stay?

I'm with some of my partners for more than the sex..."
i merely asked a question..i wouldn't stay, although i know some people would.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would there husband / wife be at the club with them?

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore

That doesn't have anything to do with my original question.

No, it doesn't

But you bought it up as your response. And I have just given you a straight-forward solution to your predicament: "I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case."

When it comes to marriage, no solution is straight forward."

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

Either you love someone enough to be totally honest and open and would not do anything to hurt your partner because they are your soul mate and you intend to spend the rest of your life together in perfect harmony. Or you don't.

Anything else like "it's not straightforward" or "I didn't touch so it's not cheating" or whatever else is a cop out. A lie or a cover up is done by someone who cannot be trusted. I wouldn't want to be married to that person.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

Been there. Had it done to me. Got the tshirt and I'll be honest, in the past, when I was young I was once and only once the one to do it. I've lived both sides of the fence.

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By *inful pairCouple over a year ago

Montrose

I'd have too touch lol x

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

Infact both of us have been on both sides of the fence

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not everyone has the wisdom to understand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cheating to me, is the moment you do something involving others, that you wouldn't want your partner to see/hear.

or that you know would cause them distress/upset.

Just because you're married doesn't necessarily mean you know each other well though. People may think they know their partners inside out, but actually are oblivious to a lot of things.

OK. Change "Would know eachother well enough"

"Should know each other well enough"

I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case.

Simple. Ask your husband whether his boundaries includes you having sex with other men without his knowlegde. Then you won't have to guess anymore

That doesn't have anything to do with my original question.

No, it doesn't

But you bought it up as your response. And I have just given you a straight-forward solution to your predicament: "I agree they should know, but unfortunately it's not always the case."

When it comes to marriage, no solution is straight forward.

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

Oh, if only

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Would there husband / wife be at the club with them? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

I'm not entirely convinced any marriage based on total honesty and openess would last very long.

'No that dress doesn't suit you', 'what on earth have you done to your hair', 'let's not invite your parents for Xmas as your dads a reactionary prick' etc.

My fb and I don't give a damn who else the other fucks but as an example I like to cook, and am generally pretty good. But occasionally you get it wrong and either come up with a dish that just doesn't work or cock up an element of one that should. When that happens she dances verbal rings to avoid saying 'well that was 3 wasted hours to make a complete fuckup sweety'. And I find it very sweet, even though a brutal Masterchef style debrief would be more honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

I'm not entirely convinced any marriage based on total honesty and openess would last very long.

'No that dress doesn't suit you', 'what on earth have you done to your hair', 'let's not invite your parents for Xmas as your dads a reactionary prick' etc.

Haha some good points

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If marriage is so easy and straightforward , then why is the divorce rate so high?

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

I'm not entirely convinced any marriage based on total honesty and openess would last very long.

'No that dress doesn't suit you', 'what on earth have you done to your hair', 'let's not invite your parents for Xmas as your dads a reactionary prick' etc.

If you love someone then care about their feelings and you're unlikely to be brutal in your honesty.

I don't think you can compare a fuck buddy relationship where you don't care who eachother fucks to a loving marriage.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"If marriage is so easy and straightforward , then why is the divorce rate so high?"

I think you've completely missed my point. I've repeated my words below but in a nutshell we are talking about the simplicity of being honest not the simplicity of marriage on the whole.

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

I'm not entirely convinced any marriage based on total honesty and openess would last very long.

'No that dress doesn't suit you', 'what on earth have you done to your hair', 'let's not invite your parents for Xmas as your dads a reactionary prick' etc.

Does my bum look big in this?

[ does a double-take to get the 'panoramic' view ]; "no"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

I'm not entirely convinced any marriage based on total honesty and openess would last very long.

'No that dress doesn't suit you', 'what on earth have you done to your hair', 'let's not invite your parents for Xmas as your dads a reactionary prick' etc.

If you love someone then care about their feelings and you're unlikely to be brutal in your honesty.

I don't think you can compare a fuck buddy relationship where you don't care who eachother fucks to a loving marriage. "

I'm not equating the two, just giving a personal example of certain types of dishonesty as a positive in a relationship. I think you will find however that there are plenty of people in loving marriages who don't give a damn who else the other fucks. This not being 1950 and all that.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

I don't see anything positive about white lies.

If you're prepared to lie about unimportant things then I'm sure you'll lie to save your skin.

I'd be wary of anyone who i thought was simply saying what they think I want to hear. But I suppose we are all different and we all expect different things from our relationships and friendships

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If marriage is so easy and straightforward , then why is the divorce rate so high?

I think you've completely missed my point. I've repeated my words below but in a nutshell we are talking about the simplicity of being honest not the simplicity of marriage on the whole.

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

We obviously need to agree to disagree on this one

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"If marriage is so easy and straightforward , then why is the divorce rate so high?

I think you've completely missed my point. I've repeated my words below but in a nutshell we are talking about the simplicity of being honest not the simplicity of marriage on the whole.

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

We obviously need to agree to disagree on this one

I do wonder whether I'm doing the right thing getting involved in forums on this particular site. Being opinionated is not an attractive trait.

#IonlyReallyCameForTheSex hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't see anything positive about white lies.

If you're prepared to lie about unimportant things then I'm sure you'll lie to save your skin.

I'd be wary of anyone who i thought was simply saying what they think I want to hear. But I suppose we are all different and we all expect different things from our relationships and friendships"

Years ago I worked with an autistic chap who was completely brutally honest. When the office bore was in the middle of banging on about whatever his tedious offspring had done the previous night he would regularly just say words to the effect of 'you're boring me now' and walk off. It was funny as hell but not exactly what most people would want in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If marriage is so easy and straightforward , then why is the divorce rate so high?

I think you've completely missed my point. I've repeated my words below but in a nutshell we are talking about the simplicity of being honest not the simplicity of marriage on the whole.

I'd have to disagree Playful minx.

Marriage should be very straightforward.

We obviously need to agree to disagree on this one

I do wonder whether I'm doing the right thing getting involved in forums on this particular site. Being opinionated is not an attractive trait.

#IonlyReallyCameForTheSex hehe

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as long as people are polite about it, which I always ensure I am, then there shouldn't be any issues. Personally, I find it interesting how people's difference of opinions vary, but If you feel you shouldn't be involved then maybe refrain. It's all about happy swinging for me, and the forums are all part and parcel of the fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a married person was attending a club and just watching, but not touching, would this be classed as cheating? "

No , neither of us would see that as cheating .

But having said that , neither of us would attend a club without each other either .

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

[Removed by poster at 15/12/16 12:26:47]

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

"I don't see anything positive about white lies.

If you're prepared to lie about unimportant things then I'm sure you'll lie to save your skin.

I'd be wary of anyone who i thought was simply saying what they think I want to hear. But I suppose we are all different and we all expect different things from our relationships and friendships

Again not a great analogy but I get what you're trying to say.

My response would be that people who love eachother and care about eachothers feelings, like in our relationship, are more than capable of being honest without being brutal and thus hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't see anything positive about white lies.

If you're prepared to lie about unimportant things then I'm sure you'll lie to save your skin.

I'd be wary of anyone who i thought was simply saying what they think I want to hear. But I suppose we are all different and we all expect different things from our relationships and friendships

Again not a great analogy but I get what you're trying to say.

My response would be that people who love eachother and care about eachothers feelings, like in our relationship, are more than capable of being honest without being brutal and thus hurtful.

Yep, not a great analogy at all. I'm on the autistic spectrum so I do believe that it's possible to have an open and honest relationship, just takes a bit of thinking and hard work. Then again I'm a Billy no mates and work colleagues are indifferent to me, but my wife's opinion is all that matters. Lol

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

"As it has been said before, I wouldn't class it as cheating however if that person would lie to me in order to go and 'watch' in a club, I definitely consider it as cheating.

So if they just didn't tell you, it would be fine.

No, the opposite.

Imo the cheating act is actually the betrayal of trust and honesty.

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