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Finding intelligence attractive?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. |
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Intelligence comes in a variety of forms. You don't need to have a degree or be well travelled, it's more about the ability to ge your point across and just chat for us.
You've written a sensible post, in proper English with punctuation, so you're doing better than many already. 
Though seriously just be yourself and enjoy .
Nita |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence. "
 that's a good summary.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
The only job that I can imagine a monkey being able to do is wanking and throwing shit at zoo visitors.
Is that your job? Which zoo are you working in? I'd like to come and see that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've read many people claiming to be 'sapiophiles' on here.
Personally though I tend to read that word as 'I'm a pretentious twat', intelligent people don't need to tell you they find intelligence attractive, other intelligent people will already realise that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Intelligent people like to talk crap too. Sometimes, they can be enlightened too. They don't know everything about everything you know.
I had a very interesting and funny conversation about zombies and water sewage treatment with a man once.
You can have a conversation by asking questions and discussing the answers too; it's not about what you know. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I'm not quite sure education level or job role is indicative of all types of intelligence - as a previous poster has said, there are numerous forms it can take.
For me, it's just that mental spark you find. You can have interesting discussions on a range of topics, serious or nonsenaical. If I wanted to discuss my degree subject, I'd be fucking my lecturer.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got a degree, and done some travelling, but does that make me intelligent? It's all relative... I don't think I'm stupid, but I don't talk about politics or art or culture, I just talk about things that interest me. Just be yourself and don't worry about being labelled "intelligent"... because what does that even mean, really? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
I consider myself intelligent, but I bet there's stuff you know much more about than I do.
Don't concentrate on negatives. Big up the positives. |
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By *lsd199Man
over a year ago
London |
"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
The problem with your mostly is low self esteem and not intelligence. |
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"In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence.
that's a good summary.
"
Hit the nail on the head, so to speak!
Nice to find someone who has a similar outlook on life plus similar sexual desires too - a'connection' is required! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a big deal for me for a relationship... But not so much for no strings sex. It can add dimensions to role plays and things like that but no big deal.
It is not your job, where you've been or what you have studied. There are many forms of intelligence but for me it boils down to either raw computing power or depth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
I like a healthy debate about music, film, travel, anything that I have in common with a guy...that turns me on as much as the physical stuff to be honest. |
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By *4pleasureCouple
over a year ago
N 42.709787, W -84.556222 |
"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
Your being too hard on yourself because you're clearly intelligent. Stupid people don't worry about how dumb they sound, trust me.
Also your clearly attracted to intelligence if you feel that others your meeting with are more intelligent than you.
If you want to hold a conversation wit a perceived intelligent person, find out what their interest are. It's likely that's all they will have extensive knowledge about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i like to talk about rights, ethics, philosophy, war crimes, neurology as well. but i also like to talk a lot of shit about nothing.
i think people like you more when you talk shit about nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks. Maybe ive been looking at it wrong. I see the words intelligent on profiles and i just think im clearly not for them. I guess I've misinterpreted what it actually means and focused on academics and jobs etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence. "
But...how would you have determined that they're intelligent?  |
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Now, EDUCATION will teach you the differences between someone who is ELOQUENT and someone who is INTELLIGENT, however, intelligence is like a steam iron, it isn't of much use if the only item of clothing that gets ironed is the hankies, which is why you will get allegedly intelligent people thinking of believing remarkably stupid things.
Intellect is a lot like knowledge of a particular subject, it only works looking down, which is why people who are crap at something tend to over estimate their ability, so a great rocket scientist can tell a mediocre rocket scientist from a wannabe, but joe public can't tell who is who from all three.
But, few humans are less intelligent than your average dog, yet your average dog doesn't find much difficulty finding a human to care for it, so perhaps you should worry less about intelligence and more about personality and character and suchlike, if your goal is being attractive to other people.
Broad areas of competence are better than tiny areas of outstanding excellence too, so aim to be the mongrel with only floppy ear and a gleam in his eye, not the highest rated instagram bikini quizzer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Howard Gardner argued that there is not one type of intelligence but several types.
One person may be no good with words but give him/her a piano and he/she will comes up with the most beautiful piece of music never heard.
For instance, what my dad wasn't good woth words, which some would class that as uneducated/unintellugent( which I do think there is no correlation whatsoever between education and intelligence per se) anyway he was a carpenter and what he was able to do with his hands and wood, not a lot of people could do the same.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"which some would class that as uneducated/unintellugent( which I do think there is no correlation whatsoever between education and intelligence per se) "
I don't know. I think it depends on the level of education involved. I'd be a bit pissed if people thought I wasn't intelligent in my field when I've finished the PhD.
OP, I think it's kind of looked upon in a less than positive light to say you desire intelligence in case it comes across as snobbery. I have to say, if someone just chatted about reality tv and recent chart music, however emotionally intelligent or skill related intelligence they had I'd find it an utter bore.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"which some would class that as uneducated/unintellugent( which I do think there is no correlation whatsoever between education and intelligence per se)
I don't know. I think it depends on the level of education involved. I'd be a bit pissed if people thought I wasn't intelligent in my field when I've finished the PhD.
OP, I think it's kind of looked upon in a less than positive light to say you desire intelligence in case it comes across as snobbery. I have to say, if someone just chatted about reality tv and recent chart music, however emotionally intelligent or skill related intelligence they had I'd find it an utter bore.
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I completly agree, yet having a PHD doesn't necessarily mean that you have got a logical thinking, which I think is a sign of intelligence.
My bad was, it is not because you have being educated by the efucational system that you are necessarily intelligent.
Malcolm X never been to school, yet he became one of the most influential man of his century.
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"Thanks. Maybe ive been looking at it wrong. I see the words intelligent on profiles and i just think im clearly not for them. I guess I've misinterpreted what it actually means and focused on academics and jobs etc. "
I've worked with lots of very intelligent young people over the years. I certainly would say that intelligence is much more than qualifications. For all that, the most knowledgable, interesting friend I have is probably the guy I know who left school with nothing many years ago.
For me, I'd say intelligence is as much about engaged and passionately interested in the world around e.g. culture, politics and nature and having some ability to communicate that.
From your posts (which are well written), I happily pigeonhole you as someone who is intelligent - a quirky, naughty intelligence at times, but that's all good .
Also, I've worked with loads of people who've broadened their interests and qualifications in adulthood. You've plenty of time to find your way with regards to that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"which some would class that as uneducated/unintellugent( which I do think there is no correlation whatsoever between education and intelligence per se)
I don't know. I think it depends on the level of education involved. I'd be a bit pissed if people thought I wasn't intelligent in my field when I've finished the PhD.
OP, I think it's kind of looked upon in a less than positive light to say you desire intelligence in case it comes across as snobbery. I have to say, if someone just chatted about reality tv and recent chart music, however emotionally intelligent or skill related intelligence they had I'd find it an utter bore.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes two people to have a conversation. I wouldn't enjoy someone droning on for ages about something I have no interest in, however intelligent they are. Likewise, I'm well aware that some of my interests are a bit niche and no one wants to hear about them. But if you're both interested then something that to the outside might seem boring or dull to talk about on a meet is a really good insight into the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the most fun with people like me. I'm average intelligence. Not the sharpest tool in the box and not the stupidest either. I get on with people best that are similar.
Stupidity and ignorance frustrate me and so do people that tell me how intelligent they are. If someone has to say to everyone that they are clever by my reckoning that can't be that smart or people would realise it for themselves.
When I go out I want to have a laugh not spend the evening taking politics or the news or what big book with big words I've read.
Average all the way works for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I go out I want to have a laugh not spend the evening taking politics or the news or what big book with big words I've read.
"
You would hate a meet with me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Neither of us are graduates or well-travelled, and are in fairly mundane jobs.
But yes we consider ourselves above average in intelligence. In terms of what we look for in other swingers it's not a big deal, as long as they're not complete mouth breathers.
Although we do struggle to find things to talk about with other swingers, we do have quirky interests.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That shaftmeister above is right. Everone else on here us just assuming that intelligent is another word for being well educated or sharp. In fact dictionaries have a hard time agreeing on what intelligence means, as it can be applied to many 'skills' like shafty said.
Also intelligence can mean the existence of a 'being' or awareness in lifeforms. Rene Descartes said "I think ...therefore I am". But the best definition of intelligence I learned in uni days. That is .... "Intelligence is what intelligence tests test!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Intelligence is often overrated, we will seem highly intelligent to a child but majority of us may be considered low compared to scholars, it's usually all bollocks...anyone who says they're intelligent are only so on their own scale. The majority of autistic people are not often ranked as intelligent but some of the skills they have with dealing with certain tasks are mind boggling!!
You can't beat good old fashioned honest conversation...I mean we all fell in love with vivian...
"Slippery little suckers" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
All you need to do is be yourself..
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read many people claiming to be 'sapiophiles' on here.
Personally though I tend to read that word as 'I'm a pretentious twat', intelligent people don't need to tell you they find intelligence attractive, other intelligent people will already realise that."
Brilliant - well said xx |
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
Would you rather fight one horse size duck or 12 duck sized horses was one recent topics in my local with friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Intelligence is only useful in times its useful, like if ever i feel the desire to built a spaceship id then require a rocket scientist, until then looks and personality it is |
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"Thanks. Maybe ive been looking at it wrong. I see the words intelligent on profiles and i just think im clearly not for them. I guess I've misinterpreted what it actually means and focused on academics and jobs etc. "
You sure seem to have, start chatting on meets |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I avoid people who fetishise intelligence because it's so subjective. Personality is more important and all the formal education in the world won't make me get on with someone who has a world view I find abhorrent or who I have to explain my (usually bad) jokes to. I like bright and witty people but I don't quantify it or ask on my profile for people to only contact me if they think they fit that since self-effacing types would rule themselves out, plus it reeks of intellectual elitism (which I have an issue with having seen really clever friends with low self esteem always think they're not clever enough). I just know who I click with when we click. |
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Intelligence is in the brain of the beholder
Though I had a meet some time ago with someone who had finished his PhD and had done amazing experiments at CERN.
It wasn't his intelligence that made him extra sexy, it was the fact he explained his experiments to me. he treated me like a person who would be able to understand the physics. And that was hot |
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"Would you rather fight one horse size duck or 12 duck sized horses was one recent topics in my local with friends
That was on here a while back too "
It was probably mine and who would win a fight between a lion and a polar bear and who would win a swimming race between a dog and a horse and who would win a fight between a lion and a tiger if the tiger was covered on gravy(not sure of the gravy relevance but it was a good night) |
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
Never ever be quiet to please someone else, if they're that fickle then they don't deserve you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can i just point out that im not very intellllligent but i do know which side my bread is buttered on, topside of course, nobody wants butter on there kitchen top |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone nailed this above... it's personality and character but the general consensus of the thread is you are coming across articulate and well informed. You have an awareness of yourself op that you don't need a degree to have. This isn't about putting education down, it is merely acknowledging that intelligence comes in all shapes and forms. My own favorite definition of intelligence is knowing when to shut up and with that I shall end my post with one final comment... don't stay silent out of fear, let yourself shine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone nailed this above... it's personality and character but the general consensus of the thread is you are coming across articulate and well informed. You have an awareness of yourself op that you don't need a degree to have. This isn't about putting education down, it is merely acknowledging that intelligence comes in all shapes and forms. My own favorite definition of intelligence is knowing when to shut up and with that I shall end my post with one final comment... don't stay silent out of fear, let yourself shine"
Shine like a diamond, gets covered in allsorts but always comes out gleaming |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
OP, I think it's kind of looked upon in a less than positive light to say you desire intelligence in case it comes across as snobbery. I have to say, if someone just chatted about reality tv and recent chart music, however emotionally intelligent or skill related intelligence they had I'd find it an utter bore.
"
This add in relative wealth to that, and you become a posh snob.
I've always found it interesting how it seems to be socially acceptable to call someone a posh snob. But not so acceptable to call someone a poor uneducated chav.
In essence OP, intelligence is relative. There will always be a scale of intelligence. Where you will fit into that totally depends on the people you engage with. If you don't think you will get on, just move onto someone else!  |
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"In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence. "
I think that sums it up nicely... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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intelligence comes in many forms not just about academics But more than anything being yourself and not being intimidated by words shows a lot of intelligence |
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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago
Ashford kent |
"In my experience the best sign of intelligence is the ability to talk to anyone about anything without being patronising or condescending. So if you meet people who are really intelligent you don't notice because they don't try to impress you with their intelligence. "
Well said |
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"I'm not quite sure education level or job role is indicative of all types of intelligence - as a previous poster has said, there are numerous forms it can take.
For me, it's just that mental spark you find. You can have interesting discussions on a range of topics, serious or nonsenaical. If I wanted to discuss my degree subject, I'd be fucking my lecturer.
"
I think that pretty much nails it...it's the spark, the certain something...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've got a degree, and done some travelling, but does that make me intelligent? It's all relative... I don't think I'm stupid, but I don't talk about politics or art or culture, I just talk about things that interest me. Just be yourself and don't worry about being labelled "intelligent"... because what does that even mean, really?"
Children can be intelligent which proves it's not about how much knowledge you have. It's more about the ability to learn, being self aware and making sense of the world around you. I'm sure many people confuse it with being an intellectual (which is generally measured by academic attainment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intelligence is in the brain of the beholder
Though I had a meet some time ago with someone who had finished his PhD and had done amazing experiments at CERN.
It wasn't his intelligence that made him extra sexy, it was the fact he explained his experiments to me. he treated me like a person who would be able to understand the physics. And that was hot "
Perhaps shows intelligence is not that useful without communication skills. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Intelligence has been classically defined with regards to certain traits or capabilities. They are from memory which is slightly fuzzy verbal reasoning, non verbal reasoning, pattern recognition, and spatial thinking. There are further traits depending on who you listen to. Bearing this in mind knowledge doesn't come in to play at all but educated people usually score higher on these tests. For me personally I can tell when people are intelligent mainly from their problem solving. I work with a lot of very intelligent people but they aren't necessarily people I'd go to bed with for various reason but most can solve a problem. Personally I've always scored very highly on these tests, usually top 1-2%. Bearing this in mind I've not done as well as one might expect at school and uni, mainly because I'm lazy but I'm doing the job I want.
Emotional intelligence is a different kettle of fish and is probably what most would prefer if they had to choose between the two in a partner.
Mr yahtzee |
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"This always worries me as I am in no way intelligent. Ive never really been travelling. I never finished college. I have a job that a monkey could probably do.
So out of interest...
What do intelligent people talk about? What type of conversations are likely to turn you on or keep you interested?
I usually tend not to speak too much on meets in fear of saying something stupid. "
For some weird reason, I've got a reputation for being intelligent but I couldn't for the life of me explain why...perhaps because I read a lot? Perhaps because I'm well educated? Maybe because I'm sensitive to others needs and wants? Maybe because I perform a highly skilled role with immense responsibility? I dunno!
It seems some people just put too much emphasis on any one quality over others and delight in making others feel small from their supposed 'superior' heights.
You certainly come across as being intelligent, have you met some of those fools who believe they're better than you? I firmly believe that anyone like that is a perfect example of irony!
So called 'sapiosexuals', don't make me laugh...people are the sum of their parts not any one quality and should be taken as such. Anyone can string a sentence together and everyone has something that passionately excites them and could talk about for hours.
That's what they would do too I would imagine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Comon sense is the main factor to intelligence , I know a good few people which would class themselves as intelligent because they have a few degrees but I'd class them as anything but intelligent . A lot of the above mentioned have no life skills or common sense , which makes them very dull in my eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Comon sense is the main factor to intelligence , I know a good few people which would class themselves as intelligent because they have a few degrees but I'd class them as anything but intelligent . A lot of the above mentioned have no life skills or common sense , which makes them very dull in my eyes "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Comon sense is the main factor to intelligence , I know a good few people which would class themselves as intelligent because they have a few degrees but I'd class them as anything but intelligent . A lot of the above mentioned have no life skills or common sense , which makes them very dull in my eyes "
I haven't found that. I know loads of people with degrees, postgraduate degrees, PHDs etc and nearly all of them have plenty of life skills and common sense. Similarly I know people who left school at 16 who have zero common sense or skills.
I feel like this is something people say to make themselves feel better if they're not confident in their own intelligence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Comon sense is the main factor to intelligence , I know a good few people which would class themselves as intelligent because they have a few degrees but I'd class them as anything but intelligent . A lot of the above mentioned have no life skills or common sense , which makes them very dull in my eyes
I haven't found that. I know loads of people with degrees, postgraduate degrees, PHDs etc and nearly all of them have plenty of life skills and common sense. Similarly I know people who left school at 16 who have zero common sense or skills.
I feel like this is something people say to make themselves feel better if they're not confident in their own intelligence. "
Agreed. From what I understand about modern academia, life skills are quite important in succeeding. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Comon sense is the main factor to intelligence , I know a good few people which would class themselves as intelligent because they have a few degrees but I'd class them as anything but intelligent . A lot of the above mentioned have no life skills or common sense , which makes them very dull in my eyes
I haven't found that. I know loads of people with degrees, postgraduate degrees, PHDs etc and nearly all of them have plenty of life skills and common sense. Similarly I know people who left school at 16 who have zero common sense or skills.
I feel like this is something people say to make themselves feel better if they're not confident in their own intelligence. "
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