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On here without partner knowing

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing.

Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It disgusts me. My ex used it to destroy our family and marriage by falling in love with a strange fuck

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By *ust MonicaWoman  over a year ago

CAMBRIDGESHIRE

Been on the receiving end and it's not nice but more than that.......for me it says more about the person doing it. That's not the kind of person I would want to fuck. Sorry

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford

Sorry your relationship isn't what you want it to be, but cheating behind your partner's back isn't the way to go, imo. Maybe better to split up with her rather than going behind her back. How would she feel if she found out and how would you feel if she were cheating on you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

your profile clearly states you aren't single,so people can make their own minds up.

not for me..but i really don't get why attached men on here often seem to be desperate to be constantly told they aren't going to be judged.

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By *jcmjcCouple  over a year ago

Newport

We've got no interest in seeing married men even with their wife's consent as our profile states.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's entirely up to you. Everyone's relationship is different. Some will meet you. Some won't. As long as you are upfront, so people can make an informed decision on whether to meet you, that's what matters. People will have very strong opinions on here. It's the marmite mentality. My partner knows I'm on here. But he's an ex swinger himself, so is more open-minded about the lifestyle .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not."

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We try not to meet married and cheating

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At least he's being honest about it (to us if not his wife)

Some marriages simply don't work, but financial constraints stop them separating.

Maybe time spend with the wife trying to improve things would be better than time spent here making things at home worse would be more beneficial, but some relationships are never going to work.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject."

Just to add I'm not judging you OP, just expressing an opinion from seeing the fallout of someone close to me and the impact it still has on him and his children, through a cheating wife. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

not the best way to go about things really you should always be honest with your other half about it

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"At least he's being honest about it (to us if not his wife)

Some marriages simply don't work, but financial constraints stop them separating.

Maybe time spend with the wife trying to improve things would be better than time spent here making things at home worse would be more beneficial, but some relationships are never going to work."

I agree with this too and yes, financial constraints do make separation difficult, but being honest with your partner is better than the deceit and disrespect shown to the partner, which can be soul destroying, for that person.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing.

Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away? "

Generally I think people have various reasons for doing what they do and as long as they don't involve me its none of my business.

Since you ask though I do wonder how you envisage your future with your partner.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan  over a year ago

Luton

A huge "no" from me. Swinging is not cheating. And I have seen enough of the latter to know that someone is being hurt even if they don't know about the cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A no from us, we will avoid cheaters at all costs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think they're scumbags.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If your honest on your profile then I don't see a problem, I'm not here to judge or be judged, just here for fun like everyone else.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"If your honest on your profile then I don't see a problem, I'm not here to judge or be judged, just here for fun like everyone else. "

I don't think any of us are judging him. He asked what people think of him playing away and people are expressing their opinion and in some cases, personal experiences of being cheated on. With due respect to you, how would you feel if your wife cheated on you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home.

Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere.

I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home.

Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere.

I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere."

Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home.

Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere.

I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere.

Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together "

Careful... communication seems to be considered a terrible, terrible thing by many on here.

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By *unguya2zMan  over a year ago

coventry..ish


"It's entirely up to you. Everyone's relationship is different. Some will meet you. Some won't. As long as you are upfront, so people can make an informed decision on whether to meet you, that's what matters. People will have very strong opinions on here. It's the marmite mentality. My partner knows I'm on here. But he's an ex swinger himself, so is more open-minded about the lifestyle . "

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By *angerdaveMan  over a year ago

NOTTINGHAM

So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home.

Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere.

I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere.

Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together

Careful... communication seems to be considered a terrible, terrible thing by many on here."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dont care if people are married really.

Though I will never understand why people cheat when they could just leave instead of using the excuse 'its just too hard' fucking be a man if you wifey so much youll shag whoever.

Same for women too

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back "

You have to do what is right for you and your conscience, I suppose. I would just ask if cheating partners (male or female), would be happy to be cheated on, in these circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It appears that God only made two types of woman. The Martini girl (any time any place) and the Nun (sex? I don't want nun)

I wouldn't say I had a high sex drive, it would be a big let down for some women I'm sure but I would like it occasionally. I went to relate with the wife and suggested we tried once a month. The councillor thought I was nuts, the wife thought I was a pervert. It lasted a month.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back "

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back "

it's not 'the only way' though...it's a clear decision to cheat,a decision someone makes without input from their partner. that is up to them clearly, but i really don't see the need to be patted on the head and told it's fine. Either get on with it and shut up about it, or sort out your relationship whether that means finishing it or not.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It appears that God only made two types of woman. The Martini girl (any time any place) and the Nun (sex? I don't want nun)"

I don't think that buying into the Madonna/Whore view is particularly helpful. In fact I think it's pretty misogynistic to view women only in these two ways.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We try not to meet married and cheating "

I've not seen you around Rotherham before xx

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"It appears that God only made two types of woman. The Martini girl (any time any place) and the Nun (sex? I don't want nun)

I wouldn't say I had a high sex drive, it would be a big let down for some women I'm sure but I would like it occasionally. I went to relate with the wife and suggested we tried once a month. The councillor thought I was nuts, the wife thought I was a pervert. It lasted a month."

At least you tried to make it work though

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be."

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple  over a year ago

Halifax

We don't judge generally ,but find it particuarly unattractive if the person seems to be gloating about cheating .

Miss

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple  over a year ago

bedford

I can say we haven't played with married men on here as we have found out after playing when they have let it slip , but that was in the club and if he hadn't played with us he would have done so with some one else , the only other time wife has played with a married guy , well they are in the process of splitting , I know myself as I've met his wife . I have also met a married woman but with her husbands knowledge , at least I think it was her husband as he was on other end of phone listening . There are a many married cheating people on here as time wasters , but we go to club to play not to interrogate people ??

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I can say we haven't played with married men on here as we have found out after playing when they have let it slip , but that was in the club and if he hadn't played with us he would have done so with some one else , the only other time wife has played with a married guy , well they are in the process of splitting , I know myself as I've met his wife . I have also met a married woman but with her husbands knowledge , at least I think it was her husband as he was on other end of phone listening . There are a many married cheating people on here as time wasters , but we go to club to play not to interrogate people ??"

The OP is the one cheating, not the people he cheats with. We would just not want to knowingly play with any married person, male or female, as they are obviously deceitful and we try and avoid people like that, because you never know what else they are lying about. We would certainly not judge anyone who chooses to play with attached people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally think that it's wrong as you're potentially creating a lot of emotional pain for people, some of which may be children.

There's plenty of single people out there, play with them.

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By *retty FolliesCouple (FF)  over a year ago

south


"At least he's being honest about it (to us if not his wife)

Some marriages simply don't work, but financial constraints stop them separating.

Maybe time spend with the wife trying to improve things would be better than time spent here making things at home worse would be more beneficial, but some relationships are never going to work.

I agree with this too and yes, financial constraints do make separation difficult, but being honest with your partner is better than the deceit and disrespect shown to the partner, which can be soul destroying, for that person."

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By *onny MCMan  over a year ago

Crawley

I'm waiting for the day all the wives who's husbands cheat on here find out and go "right, two can play at that game!" and sign up. Be interesting to see how the guys react to their misses getting a hundred times the amount of attention that they get. And the ratio'd improve drastically too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

While I can see this from the point of view of the OPs partner, a relationship takes two people to make it work.

It'a easy for someone in a sexually active relationship to place the blame on the OP if his relationship fails because he is cheating, but why not ask yourself why he's cheating in the first place.

There are a lot of women out there who for whatever reason won't give their partners any kind of intimacy. When that relationship inevitably breaks down, it's never the woman at fault for refusing her husband any affection, it's always the husbands fault for looking elsewhere.

To be honest, getting it elsewhere isn't necessarily going to cut it anyway, it's going to be second best. I've resigned myself to the fact I probably won't be getting it again and hidden my profile.

Unfortunately it seems women usually need to feel their partner loves them to want sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved, so when things start to break down sexually, it's very hard to put back together.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On the one hand, at least you're being honest about it on your profile - somewhat ironic though, given that you're being dishonest with your partner - but that's your business.

Personally, I wouldn't meet anyone cheating on a partner - i.e. playing behind their back, but at least, but stating it on your profile, you are providing people with the information on which they can make their own decision.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford

When I was in my first marriage, I fell out of love with my husband and didn't want any intimacy with him. As hard as it was,i told him and we agreed to break up. I hadn't thought of cheating on him, I thought it more respectful to him, to be honest from the start, about my feelings. We are both now in new and happy relationships. Sorry, that's just me.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"On the one hand, at least you're being honest about it on your profile - somewhat ironic though, given that you're being dishonest with your partner - but that's your business.

Personally, I wouldn't meet anyone cheating on a partner - i.e. playing behind their back, but at least, but stating it on your profile, you are providing people with the information on which they can make their own decision."

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I'm waiting for the day all the wives who's husbands cheat on here find out and go "right, two can play at that game!" and sign up. Be interesting to see how the guys react to their misses getting a hundred times the amount of attention that they get. And the ratio'd improve drastically too. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong.

As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise.

Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"While I can see this from the point of view of the OPs partner, a relationship takes two people to make it work.

It'a easy for someone in a sexually active relationship to place the blame on the OP if his relationship fails because he is cheating, but why not ask yourself why he's cheating in the first place.

There are a lot of women out there who for whatever reason won't give their partners any kind of intimacy. When that relationship inevitably breaks down, it's never the woman at fault for refusing her husband any affection, it's always the husbands fault for looking elsewhere.

To be honest, getting it elsewhere isn't necessarily going to cut it anyway, it's going to be second best. I've resigned myself to the fact I probably won't be getting it again and hidden my profile.

Unfortunately it seems women usually need to feel their partner loves them to want sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved, so when things start to break down sexually, it's very hard to put back together."

Some very valid points here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong.

As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise.

Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. "

I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

"Yeah. Sorry. It was casual sex. XY person doesn't need involved, they didn't know."

Don't ask, don't tell. Don't get attached.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution "

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

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By *exy hot ass 2017Woman  over a year ago

caerphilly

Deffinately not for me my x carried on i was devastated .i had no idea .so dont message me as i say in my profile but they still do x

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !

It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing.

Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away? "

Because you asked for people's thoughts I'll give you mine ..my first thought is why are you cheating? ..second thought is, doesn't matter what the answer to the first question is you're direspecting your partner. ....Man up !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?"

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple."

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

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By *exy hot ass 2017Woman  over a year ago

caerphilly

And just to confirm what i just said someone just messaged me whos in a sexless relationship du you wanna just say f....koff x

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !


"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing.

Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away?

Because you asked for people's thoughts I'll give you mine ..my first thought is why are you cheating? ..second thought is, doesn't matter what the answer to the first question is you're direspecting your partner. ....Man up !!!!"

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?"

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted."

If only it was as black and white as that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. "

Your partner is not consenting.

Personally I want *everyone* involved to be consenting. That includes the cheated-on-wife that I might give an STI to.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong.

As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise.

Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. "

I certainly wouldn't judge or criticise people who cheat. It is their life and yes as long as they can handle their conscience, then I can see why it works for them. I appreciate and respect that communication doesn't always work for everybody. Everybody has different lives and relationships, we all have to handle them in the way that works best for us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that."

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Someone may have already said it, but I just think : not my monkey, not my circus.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up."

It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

"

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much."

why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white."

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's not something I agree with, swinging is something I signed up to with the notion of it being fun and enjoying sexual freedom. Not to help people cheat on their unsuspecting partners.

I had a guy message asking me to go round and wear his wife's wedding dress and play with him and then tried playing the "poor me having to go out and cheat, my wife just doesn't understand me."

Yeah, you might not be getting much at home OP....... but maybe she's just fed up of you spending your time on dodgy internet sites instead of honouring your commitments

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong.

As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise.

Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy.

I certainly wouldn't judge or criticise people who cheat. It is their life and yes as long as they can handle their conscience, then I can see why it works for them. I appreciate and respect that communication doesn't always work for everybody. Everybody has different lives and relationships, we all have to handle them in the way that works best for us "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. "

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy."

I think it must be really hard for people who go into a relationship expecting it to be sexual to discover at some point that it no longer is. I include both partners in that. There is so much tied up in relationship sex, so many emotions, esteem etc that it must be a minefield to negotiate such a change successfully.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy."

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong.

As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise.

Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy.

I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

"Yeah. Sorry. It was casual sex. XY person doesn't need involved, they didn't know."

Don't ask, don't tell. Don't get attached."

I often wonder about people at clubs, do they think all the single men that attend are actually single? And how many couples are actually genuine couples? Do thy interrogate each person before playing...I seriously doubt it somehow.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just do your thing and stop harping on about it, no one cares. I meet married men but I certainly don't meet married men who criticise their wives or bang on about their relationship all the time to me. You won't get any helpful advice or insights into your relationship from asking a bunch of internet strangers what they think. Plenty of people on this site will meet married individuals, just get on with it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends."

..agreed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! "

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless."

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed"

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew."

Maybe they were careless then

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By *-angel-XWoman  over a year ago

hell

Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

Maybe they were careless then"

They weren't.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?"

If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Maybe they should just create "Fab Cheaters", all the attached people can play there and the judgemental swingers can leave them alone that way lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances."

Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe they should just create "Fab Cheaters", all the attached people can play there and the judgemental swingers can leave them alone that way lol"

Yes....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

Maybe they were careless then

They weren't. "

Mmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person "

Life isn't fair.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

Maybe they were careless then

They weren't.

Mmmmmmm"

You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know.

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By *-angel-XWoman  over a year ago

hell


"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person

Life isn't fair....."

Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person

Life isn't fair.....

Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey "

I'm not hurting him though am I.think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

Maybe they were careless then

They weren't.

Mmmmmmm

You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know."

Maybe he's got a bit on the side too and is too pre-occupied to notice

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless."

Hmmm....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us.

Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy.

So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! !

He won't find out. I'm not wreckless.

My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew.

Maybe they were careless then

They weren't.

Mmmmmmm

You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know.

Maybe he's got a bit on the side too and is too pre-occupied to notice "

In my experience, that's usually the case!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person

Life isn't fair.....

Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey

I'm not hurting him though am I.think about it."

Serious question though, do you think he's got someone else when you're not around? Would it bother you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work."

In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. "

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??"

We'll said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong.

All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time.

The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down.

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances.

Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it?"

I could live without sex, rather than be unfaithful to my husband, yes. Sorry, just the way I am. I feel that you are in a difficult situation at home, so think it would be unfair to really comment on what you choose to do, but I wish you lots of luck

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work."

Make your marriage work! ?...how the feck is that working !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??

We'll said "

I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

Make your marriage work! ?...how the feck is that working ! "

We are both extremely happy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances.

Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it?

I could live without sex, rather than be unfaithful to my husband, yes. Sorry, just the way I am. I feel that you are in a difficult situation at home, so think it would be unfair to really comment on what you choose to do, but I wish you lots of luck "

Thank you. That's very kind

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

"

Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting.

Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner."

I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting.

Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. "

It's still swinging

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By *-angel-XWoman  over a year ago

hell

What happens if one of you catches an std and then gives it to your partner !!?

Like herpes for example which is a life long issue

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Good for you sticking up for this playful i am with you this until you fully understand the suituation don't make assumptions or critise others

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/16 16:43:24]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just do your thing and stop harping on about it, no one cares. I meet married men but I certainly don't meet married men who criticise their wives or bang on about their relationship all the time to me. You won't get any helpful advice or insights into your relationship from asking a bunch of internet strangers what they think. Plenty of people on this site will meet married individuals, just get on with it. "

Nail, head again madam

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else. "

I disagree. Consent has to come from everyone who is involved.

That's why you can't just fuck in the middle of a park in the daytime - because everyone around you is not consenting.

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol

I think it's really bad and botvin keeping wirh swinging.

You're just cheating on your partner.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What happens if one of you catches an std and then gives it to your partner !!?

Like herpes for example which is a life long issue "

Act surprised when they tell you.

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??

We'll said

I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view."

Then don't post on here, so you wasn't expecting different points of view.

Was you expecting everyone to agree with you.

I would talk to your partner especially if you have a family, think on the damage you are causing them,

This is just our view.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner."

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We wouldn't normally comment but since you ask opinions I will give you ours. We would not play with anyone going behind their partners back. We've both had it done to us and it hurts being on the receiving end. We don't want to be any part of that hurt. We are on here as a couple and find it very sexy and has built our trust no end. I personally feel that there's no need or reason to be unfaithful. If you don't like the marriage then come away from it. Come back as a genuine single fella.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford

Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back

When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be.

And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution

What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?

I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted.

If only it was as black and white as that.

Well that's the point - it was black and white.

You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't.

Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world.

How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends.

..agreed

Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work.

In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??

We'll said

I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view.

Then don't post on here, so you wasn't expecting different points of view.

Was you expecting everyone to agree with you.

I would talk to your partner especially if you have a family, think on the damage you are causing them,

This is just our view."

I'm allowed to post in the forum, that's why they are here after all.

Do you really think I hadn't talked any of this through with my partner ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? "

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back "

It might be the OH just doesn't want sex with their OH

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online! "

Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads

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By *iver2015Woman  over a year ago

middlesbrough


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject."

I didn't ask for your opinion on my post?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. "

Being devil's advocate for just a moment, let's assume said individual's partner has become suspicious over time and starts to keep a closer eye on their activity to the point of actually following them when they go out. Yes, I agree it's extremely creepy, but it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting.

Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. "

Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free.

You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject.

I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? "

I don't think you understand how forums work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good."

Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting.

Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating.

Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free.

You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet?"

I just take extra precautions, as detailed above.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any) "

Then we wouldn't be compatible. And thats ok - you don't have to have sex with everyone. Or anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me.

Being devil's advocate for just a moment, let's assume said individual's partner has become suspicious over time and starts to keep a closer eye on their activity to the point of actually following them when they go out. Yes, I agree it's extremely creepy, but it happens. "

My partner could never follow me without me knowing because of where I live.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong.

All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time.

The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down.

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely. "

How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position!

First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any)

Then we wouldn't be compatible. And thats ok - you don't have to have sex with everyone. Or anyone."

And that's the joy of Fab...we are all so different. It keeps it interesting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong.

All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time.

The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down.

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely.

How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position!

First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!"

Honesty...a word thrown around this swinging site so casually

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By *-angel-XWoman  over a year ago

hell


"What happens if one of you catches an std and then gives it to your partner !!?

Like herpes for example which is a life long issue

Act surprised when they tell you. "

Hmm

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong.

All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time.

The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down.

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely.

How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position!

First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!

Honesty...a word thrown around this swinging site so casually "

There's nothing casual about honesty. But many people here put honesty above all else in their relationships.

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By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good."

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online!

Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads "

I agree with you and hopefully makes us all recognize we have different lives and problems and have to respect for other's situations.

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By *-angel-XWoman  over a year ago

hell

Love how everyone avoided my question of stis

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online!

Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads

I agree with you and hopefully makes us all recognize we have different lives and problems and have to respect for other's situations."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting.

Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating.

Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free.

You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet?

I just take extra precautions, as detailed above."

Yes I saw that after I posted.

Hopefully your measure should help reduce the possibilities of coming into contact.

My point is though people lie about all sorts of stuff especially on the internet. You have to make the judgement call based on what you know.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

About 78% of swinging is cheating, some couples can do it together, but not many, it depends how they can cope with the guilt lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent .

Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet."

Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet.

Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done."

I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating.

Imagine that! Going without!

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject.

I didn't ask for your opinion on my post?

I don't think you understand how forums work."

Never mind eh, must be a newbie poster

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent .

Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner "

I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not.

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By *ancing In The RainCouple  over a year ago

kattegat near huntingdon

I can relate to the pain of cheating, you loved this person once does she really deserve to feel so bad when the truth comes out. Believe me the truth always comes out on the end. I'm in a relationship based on trust and love now and we talk about everything no matter how hard a topic. It's not my place to judge, but if you're not happy why not fix it or move on? You only have one life xxMrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right? "

That is right it is adultery too, they cant be christians.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right? "

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it.

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By *iver2015Woman  over a year ago

middlesbrough


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject.

I didn't ask for your opinion on my post?

I don't think you understand how forums work."

I do. That poster said she doesn't normally comment on people's relationship status unless asked yet she did on a post of mine where I did not ask for opinions on my relationship. What's good for here is good for the lounge.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right? That is right it is adultery too, they cant be christians."

Oh no....someone's mentioned religion....this could get even more interesting

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman  over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

It's pretty shitty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Less than 30 to go and today's 'stone the cheats' thread is done.

Keep pushing folks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong.

All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time.

The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down.

Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental.

Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely.

How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position!

First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!"

Does this marriage club HONESTY extend to those you have met as well?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

well here's my input, for what it's worth..

all sorts of people use this site for all sorts of different reasons..

and although most people with a conscience would rather not meet those that are married and playing away without their husband or wife's consent...there are some out there who don't actually mind or indeed care...

however, the OP has stated in his username and on his profile, that he is attached and that at least gives people an informed choice as to whether they would meet him or not...

its the ones who are married/attached and choose not to declare it that annoy me..as that really is being dishonest

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Oh no....someone's mentioned religion....this could get even more interesting "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it."

It's called trust.

I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others.

Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent .

Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner

I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not. "

Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet.

Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done.

I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating.

Imagine that! Going without!"

But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent .

Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner

I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not.

Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly . "

So if you are so against "cheaters" why place yourself in an environment where you're highly likely to be meeting them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet.

Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done.

I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating.

Imagine that! Going without!

But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever."

I've cheated. I've cheated alot. That doesn't mean I cheat now. I prefer to go on peoples current behaviour, rather than their past. Second chances and all that.

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By *amissCouple  over a year ago

chelmsford


"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not.

I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject.

I didn't ask for your opinion on my post?

I don't think you understand how forums work.

I do. That poster said she doesn't normally comment on people's relationship status unless asked yet she did on a post of mine where I did not ask for opinions on my relationship. What's good for here is good for the lounge. "

You misunderstand, I was agreeing with you that I don't normally judge either but that the OP was asking for opinions. When you post on the forums, people will comment on your posts. That's the way it works

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it.

It's called trust.

I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others.

Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience."

Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it.

It's called trust.

I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others.

Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience.

Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself. "

I'm sorry you have such a negative view on life.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them?

Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs.

It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good.

There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet.

Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done.

I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating.

Imagine that! Going without!

But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever.

I've cheated. I've cheated alot. That doesn't mean I cheat now. I prefer to go on peoples current behaviour, rather than their past. Second chances and all that."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't judge others

No doubt the majority of people on here have met a married person whether you know it or not

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent .

Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner

I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not.

Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly .

So if you are so against "cheaters" why place yourself in an environment where you're highly likely to be meeting them?"

Because we want to swing and I don't see why other people's behaviour should stop us ? We do our best to make sure we don't play with married people and that keeps our consciences clear . I don't want to get run over but I still don't always use a pedestrian crossing . I just look before I cross the road

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it."

Wow. You're totally right. Everyone's partners must cheat because they work away from home.

Is that what it is? Your partner works away so you think he's cheating, so you might as well. Or do you think he's faithful? I'm actually curious now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right? "

The grounds of a divorce have no bearing on a financial settlement in divorce matters.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

10

"Ground control to Major Tom"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it.

It's called trust.

I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others.

Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience.

Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself.

I'm sorry you have such a negative view on life."

It's not negative in the slightest, wrong choice of word there. It's realistic. You may think you can trust someone, but you will never fullly know for definite.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. "

Was that hotlist you said?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. "

May as well add me too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were.

Was that hotlist you said? "

If you like.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman  over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up.

It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. "

You think not?! All it takes is for that guy's wife to follow him and then to follow you home,pretty simple really.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread.

The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too.

Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement.

Swinging is adultery too, right?

I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it.

Wow. You're totally right. Everyone's partners must cheat because they work away from home.

Is that what it is? Your partner works away so you think he's cheating, so you might as well. Or do you think he's faithful? I'm actually curious now. "

Don't be silly, I didn't say everyone who works away from home. But a percentage of people definitely do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can we have a clique just for 'cheaters and their admirers' or a 'cheaters appreciation thread'??

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were.

May as well add me too "

I thought this was going to be that appreciation thread you had alluded to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple.

You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating.

Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating

Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well.

we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner.

I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else. "

I wouldn't bother trying to explain yourself anymore, to some people on here cheating is the cardinal sin, but they'll quite happily fuck all manner of crims! Unless of course they ask for CRB and credit checks, and a clean drug test too

And to tell cheaters they should stick to specialist affair sites is beyond ridiculous...who says married men and women want affairs? I'm happy with casual NSA sex so I'll stick to Fab - couldn't give a toss if strangers judge me!

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple  over a year ago

South East Wales

It's none of my business what you chose to do behind your partners back.

But, I think, the worst thing about finding out you've been cheated on is when you didn't see it coming, because you thought your spouse was genuinely happy and wanted only you. The type of men that can still make you feel madly in love and keep up the sharrade of a happy relationship yet fuck other people are the ones that worry me the most and that is the most devastating thing.

Sassy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope. If someone told us they were cheating we wouldn't meet them.

Have no respect for cheaters and honestly couldn't care less about their circumstances or reasons. It is hurtful and deceitful to the other person in the relationship.

Also if the other half ever found out we would rather not be involved in someone else's relationship drama.

If you are not adult enough to talk to your partner about whatever issues you are having in your relationship then we will not waste our time on you.

If they are willing to lie to their partner about things what else are they willing to lie about.

Obviously a lot of people don't admit being attached on here but that is something you can't help and we just avoid those who are honest about it.

Nobody NEEDS sex it is merely a want. You wouldn't die without sex. So if you are unwilling to talk to your partner or keep it in your pants then we have no interest in your selfish ways.

~Mia

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