FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > On here without partner knowing
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not." I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject. | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject." Just to add I'm not judging you OP, just expressing an opinion from seeing the fallout of someone close to me and the impact it still has on him and his children, through a cheating wife. Sorry | |||
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"At least he's being honest about it (to us if not his wife) Some marriages simply don't work, but financial constraints stop them separating. Maybe time spend with the wife trying to improve things would be better than time spent here making things at home worse would be more beneficial, but some relationships are never going to work." I agree with this too and yes, financial constraints do make separation difficult, but being honest with your partner is better than the deceit and disrespect shown to the partner, which can be soul destroying, for that person. | |||
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"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing. Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away? " Generally I think people have various reasons for doing what they do and as long as they don't involve me its none of my business. Since you ask though I do wonder how you envisage your future with your partner. | |||
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"If your honest on your profile then I don't see a problem, I'm not here to judge or be judged, just here for fun like everyone else. " I don't think any of us are judging him. He asked what people think of him playing away and people are expressing their opinion and in some cases, personal experiences of being cheated on. With due respect to you, how would you feel if your wife cheated on you. | |||
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"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home. Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere. I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere." Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together | |||
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"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home. Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere. I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere. Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together " Careful... communication seems to be considered a terrible, terrible thing by many on here. | |||
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"It's entirely up to you. Everyone's relationship is different. Some will meet you. Some won't. As long as you are upfront, so people can make an informed decision on whether to meet you, that's what matters. People will have very strong opinions on here. It's the marmite mentality. My partner knows I'm on here. But he's an ex swinger himself, so is more open-minded about the lifestyle . " | |||
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"Without delving into the depths of the OPs privacy, I'm guessing that he is here because he's not getting any sex at home. Maybe an in-depth discussion with his partner would help one way or another, whether that would mean she gave him some sex, or she gave permission for him to look elsewhere. I know a few people in sexless marriages who have permission to get their kicks elsewhere. Exactly this, maybe he's not satisfying her and it becomes a vicious circle, if she is not fulfilled in the physical side of their relationship. I always say, talk, talk and talk some more, to find a resolution, if you still want to be together Careful... communication seems to be considered a terrible, terrible thing by many on here." | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back " You have to do what is right for you and your conscience, I suppose. I would just ask if cheating partners (male or female), would be happy to be cheated on, in these circumstances. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back " When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back " it's not 'the only way' though...it's a clear decision to cheat,a decision someone makes without input from their partner. that is up to them clearly, but i really don't see the need to be patted on the head and told it's fine. Either get on with it and shut up about it, or sort out your relationship whether that means finishing it or not. | |||
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"It appears that God only made two types of woman. The Martini girl (any time any place) and the Nun (sex? I don't want nun)" I don't think that buying into the Madonna/Whore view is particularly helpful. In fact I think it's pretty misogynistic to view women only in these two ways. | |||
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"We try not to meet married and cheating " I've not seen you around Rotherham before xx | |||
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"It appears that God only made two types of woman. The Martini girl (any time any place) and the Nun (sex? I don't want nun) I wouldn't say I had a high sex drive, it would be a big let down for some women I'm sure but I would like it occasionally. I went to relate with the wife and suggested we tried once a month. The councillor thought I was nuts, the wife thought I was a pervert. It lasted a month." At least you tried to make it work though | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be." And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution | |||
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"I can say we haven't played with married men on here as we have found out after playing when they have let it slip , but that was in the club and if he hadn't played with us he would have done so with some one else , the only other time wife has played with a married guy , well they are in the process of splitting , I know myself as I've met his wife . I have also met a married woman but with her husbands knowledge , at least I think it was her husband as he was on other end of phone listening . There are a many married cheating people on here as time wasters , but we go to club to play not to interrogate people ??" The OP is the one cheating, not the people he cheats with. We would just not want to knowingly play with any married person, male or female, as they are obviously deceitful and we try and avoid people like that, because you never know what else they are lying about. We would certainly not judge anyone who chooses to play with attached people. | |||
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"At least he's being honest about it (to us if not his wife) Some marriages simply don't work, but financial constraints stop them separating. Maybe time spend with the wife trying to improve things would be better than time spent here making things at home worse would be more beneficial, but some relationships are never going to work. I agree with this too and yes, financial constraints do make separation difficult, but being honest with your partner is better than the deceit and disrespect shown to the partner, which can be soul destroying, for that person." | |||
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"On the one hand, at least you're being honest about it on your profile - somewhat ironic though, given that you're being dishonest with your partner - but that's your business. Personally, I wouldn't meet anyone cheating on a partner - i.e. playing behind their back, but at least, but stating it on your profile, you are providing people with the information on which they can make their own decision." | |||
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"I'm waiting for the day all the wives who's husbands cheat on here find out and go "right, two can play at that game!" and sign up. Be interesting to see how the guys react to their misses getting a hundred times the amount of attention that they get. And the ratio'd improve drastically too. " | |||
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"While I can see this from the point of view of the OPs partner, a relationship takes two people to make it work. It'a easy for someone in a sexually active relationship to place the blame on the OP if his relationship fails because he is cheating, but why not ask yourself why he's cheating in the first place. There are a lot of women out there who for whatever reason won't give their partners any kind of intimacy. When that relationship inevitably breaks down, it's never the woman at fault for refusing her husband any affection, it's always the husbands fault for looking elsewhere. To be honest, getting it elsewhere isn't necessarily going to cut it anyway, it's going to be second best. I've resigned myself to the fact I probably won't be getting it again and hidden my profile. Unfortunately it seems women usually need to feel their partner loves them to want sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved, so when things start to break down sexually, it's very hard to put back together." Some very valid points here. | |||
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"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong. As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise. Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. " I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. "Yeah. Sorry. It was casual sex. XY person doesn't need involved, they didn't know." Don't ask, don't tell. Don't get attached. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution " What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? | |||
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"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing. Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away? " Because you asked for people's thoughts I'll give you mine ..my first thought is why are you cheating? ..second thought is, doesn't matter what the answer to the first question is you're direspecting your partner. ....Man up !!!! | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?" I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple." You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. | |||
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"Hello everyone, just want a general quota as to what everyone thinks about people like myself who are on here without their partner knowing. Me personally love a married woman having their wicked way with me then sending me off on my way.... Or even joining a couple to have lots of fun with..... So what's everyone's thought on people playing away? Because you asked for people's thoughts I'll give you mine ..my first thought is why are you cheating? ..second thought is, doesn't matter what the answer to the first question is you're direspecting your partner. ....Man up !!!!" | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?" It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted." If only it was as black and white as that. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. " Your partner is not consenting. Personally I want *everyone* involved to be consenting. That includes the cheated-on-wife that I might give an STI to. | |||
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"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong. As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise. Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. " I certainly wouldn't judge or criticise people who cheat. It is their life and yes as long as they can handle their conscience, then I can see why it works for them. I appreciate and respect that communication doesn't always work for everybody. Everybody has different lives and relationships, we all have to handle them in the way that works best for us | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that." Well that's the point - it was black and white. | |||
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"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up." It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. " Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. | |||
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"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much." why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white." You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. | |||
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"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong. As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise. Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. I certainly wouldn't judge or criticise people who cheat. It is their life and yes as long as they can handle their conscience, then I can see why it works for them. I appreciate and respect that communication doesn't always work for everybody. Everybody has different lives and relationships, we all have to handle them in the way that works best for us " | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. " Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy." I think it must be really hard for people who go into a relationship expecting it to be sexual to discover at some point that it no longer is. I include both partners in that. There is so much tied up in relationship sex, so many emotions, esteem etc that it must be a minefield to negotiate such a change successfully. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy." So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! | |||
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"I'm a cheating wife. I have my reasons like every other married person who is cheating. Life isn't black and white, least of all relationships. They are complex and can have lots of different contributing factors as to why people do cheat. I am not saying it's right but neither is it necessarily wrong. As long as the cheating person can handle their conscience, and answer people honestly when asked if they are married, then people shouldn't judge and criticise. Communication with a spouse doesn't always lead to a satisfactory solution for both partners, believe me I have tried. If only things were that easy. I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. "Yeah. Sorry. It was casual sex. XY person doesn't need involved, they didn't know." Don't ask, don't tell. Don't get attached." I often wonder about people at clubs, do they think all the single men that attend are actually single? And how many couples are actually genuine couples? Do thy interrogate each person before playing...I seriously doubt it somehow. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends." ..agreed | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! " He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless." My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed" Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew." Maybe they were careless then | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. Maybe they were careless then" They weren't. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right?" If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances." Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it? | |||
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"Maybe they should just create "Fab Cheaters", all the attached people can play there and the judgemental swingers can leave them alone that way lol" Yes.... | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. Maybe they were careless then They weren't. " Mmmmmmm | |||
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"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person " Life isn't fair..... | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. Maybe they were careless then They weren't. Mmmmmmm" You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know. | |||
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"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person Life isn't fair....." Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey | |||
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"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person Life isn't fair..... Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey " I'm not hurting him though am I.think about it. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. Maybe they were careless then They weren't. Mmmmmmm You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know." Maybe he's got a bit on the side too and is too pre-occupied to notice | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless." Hmmm.... | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? It's a tough one isn't it. Life can throw some really difficult situations at us. Exactly. So perhaps some of us "cheats" (nice label) are trying to make difficult situations manageable whilst keeping all parties involved happy. So what happens when your husband /partner finds out you're cheating? ...I guess all parties involved wouldn't be so happy! ! He won't find out. I'm not wreckless. My partners thought the same. And my mother did. I still knew about each time it happened. And my father knew. Maybe they were careless then They weren't. Mmmmmmm You're kidding yourself if you think that your partner/kids proberbly don't already know. Maybe he's got a bit on the side too and is too pre-occupied to notice " In my experience, that's usually the case! | |||
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"Makes me angry it's not fair on the other person Life isn't fair..... Yea ... so why deliberately do something to hurt someone else then hey I'm not hurting him though am I.think about it." Serious question though, do you think he's got someone else when you're not around? Would it bother you? | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work." In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"?? | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. " Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"??" We'll said | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances. Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it?" I could live without sex, rather than be unfaithful to my husband, yes. Sorry, just the way I am. I feel that you are in a difficult situation at home, so think it would be unfair to really comment on what you choose to do, but I wish you lots of luck | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work." Make your marriage work! ?...how the feck is that working ! | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"?? We'll said " I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. Make your marriage work! ?...how the feck is that working ! " We are both extremely happy | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? If I was in love with my husband, I wouldn't cheat on him, whatever the circumstances. Good for you. You could live without sex then I take it? I could live without sex, rather than be unfaithful to my husband, yes. Sorry, just the way I am. I feel that you are in a difficult situation at home, so think it would be unfair to really comment on what you choose to do, but I wish you lots of luck " Thank you. That's very kind | |||
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" Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. " Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting. Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner." I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else. | |||
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" Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting. Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. " It's still swinging | |||
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"Just do your thing and stop harping on about it, no one cares. I meet married men but I certainly don't meet married men who criticise their wives or bang on about their relationship all the time to me. You won't get any helpful advice or insights into your relationship from asking a bunch of internet strangers what they think. Plenty of people on this site will meet married individuals, just get on with it. " Nail, head again madam | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else. " I disagree. Consent has to come from everyone who is involved. That's why you can't just fuck in the middle of a park in the daytime - because everyone around you is not consenting. | |||
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"What happens if one of you catches an std and then gives it to your partner !!? Like herpes for example which is a life long issue " Act surprised when they tell you. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"?? We'll said I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view." Then don't post on here, so you wasn't expecting different points of view. Was you expecting everyone to agree with you. I would talk to your partner especially if you have a family, think on the damage you are causing them, This is just our view. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner." I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back When that happened to me, I left my partner. It seemed that after long discussions and me suggesting an open relationship that the relationship wasn't to be. And that's the way forward, imo. Trying to find a resolution What if there isn't a resolution that you can both agree on, yet you are still in love with each other? Do you leave an otherwise happy marriage because one factor of it isn't right? I did. Because I decided I couldn't live without what I wanted. If only it was as black and white as that. Well that's the point - it was black and white. You were lucky then, my circumstances certainly aren't. Generally, all the excuses I've heard have just indicated that someone is spineless and happy with lying to the person who they profess to care about more than *anyone* in the world. How can you lie to someone you claim to care about so much? Doesn't work for me. I couldn't lie to any of my friends. ..agreed Because I'm doing what I have to do to make my marriage work. In what fantasy realm does your marriage "work"?? We'll said I'm not going to explain, it would take far too long and I doubt you would even try to understand my point of view. Then don't post on here, so you wasn't expecting different points of view. Was you expecting everyone to agree with you. I would talk to your partner especially if you have a family, think on the damage you are causing them, This is just our view." I'm allowed to post in the forum, that's why they are here after all. Do you really think I hadn't talked any of this through with my partner ? | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? " Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. | |||
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"So what if the other half does not wont sex any more and you do and the only way is ti go behind there back " It might be the OH just doesn't want sex with their OH | |||
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"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online! " Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject." I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? | |||
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"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. " Being devil's advocate for just a moment, let's assume said individual's partner has become suspicious over time and starts to keep a closer eye on their activity to the point of actually following them when they go out. Yes, I agree it's extremely creepy, but it happens. | |||
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" Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting. Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. " Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free. You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet? | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject. I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? " I don't think you understand how forums work. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good." Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any) | |||
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" Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting. Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free. You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet?" I just take extra precautions, as detailed above. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any) " Then we wouldn't be compatible. And thats ok - you don't have to have sex with everyone. Or anyone. | |||
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"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. Being devil's advocate for just a moment, let's assume said individual's partner has become suspicious over time and starts to keep a closer eye on their activity to the point of actually following them when they go out. Yes, I agree it's extremely creepy, but it happens. " My partner could never follow me without me knowing because of where I live. | |||
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"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong. All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time. The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down. Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely. " How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position! First rule of marriage club is HONESTY! | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. Really !? I wouldn't ever have anyone come to my home , even if I was single. What would the neighbours say lolol (if I actually had any) Then we wouldn't be compatible. And thats ok - you don't have to have sex with everyone. Or anyone." And that's the joy of Fab...we are all so different. It keeps it interesting | |||
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"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong. All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time. The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down. Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely. How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position! First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!" Honesty...a word thrown around this swinging site so casually | |||
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"What happens if one of you catches an std and then gives it to your partner !!? Like herpes for example which is a life long issue Act surprised when they tell you. " Hmm | |||
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"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong. All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time. The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down. Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely. How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position! First rule of marriage club is HONESTY! Honesty...a word thrown around this swinging site so casually " There's nothing casual about honesty. But many people here put honesty above all else in their relationships. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good." There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet. | |||
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"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online! Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads " I agree with you and hopefully makes us all recognize we have different lives and problems and have to respect for other's situations. | |||
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"Can I just say....the OP is going to have a lot of reading to do when he comes back online! Haha quite. I bet he enjoys it too. Forum posts like this are so much more interesting than the usual "kiss, fuck, avoid" threads I agree with you and hopefully makes us all recognize we have different lives and problems and have to respect for other's situations." | |||
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" Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Because accidentally meeting someone who is a cheat makes my life unhappy. That's why. I wish cheats would go to one of the specialist affair sites rather than pretending that they're practicing open and ethical swinging where all adults involved are consenting. Cheating isn't a swinging. It's cheating. Those sites cost a lot of money, this is free. You can't control what other people do so if it's that unthinkable that you may meet a cheater maybe you need to rethink how you meet? I just take extra precautions, as detailed above." Yes I saw that after I posted. Hopefully your measure should help reduce the possibilities of coming into contact. My point is though people lie about all sorts of stuff especially on the internet. You have to make the judgement call based on what you know. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet." Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet. Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done." I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating. Imagine that! Going without! | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject. I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? I don't think you understand how forums work." Never mind eh, must be a newbie poster | |||
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"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent . Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner " I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? " That is right it is adultery too, they cant be christians. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? " I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it. | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject. I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? I don't think you understand how forums work." I do. That poster said she doesn't normally comment on people's relationship status unless asked yet she did on a post of mine where I did not ask for opinions on my relationship. What's good for here is good for the lounge. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? That is right it is adultery too, they cant be christians." Oh no....someone's mentioned religion....this could get even more interesting | |||
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"I've obviously been too outspoken for some people on here who can't see past black and white, and the fact there isn't just right and wrong. All I'm saying is life isn't straight forward, everyone has their reasons for being on here, no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect all the time. The amount of times I've had private messages from men who are part of a couple on here, asking me to meet them behind their wives back, totally hypocritical. Incidentally I always turn these men down. Why can't people just let people enjoy swinging, regardless of their circumstances, without labelling everyone, and without being too judgemental. Life is for living, and how people choose their life is up to them surely. How's this for a radical concept, black is actually black and white is actually white! cheating/dishonesty within the confines of marriage or any other variant of "committed" relationships renders said relationship a hollow, sham! Pointing the finger at others playing the same game in no way justifies this position! First rule of marriage club is HONESTY!" Does this marriage club HONESTY extend to those you have met as well? | |||
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" Oh no....someone's mentioned religion....this could get even more interesting " | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it." It's called trust. I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others. Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience. | |||
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"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent . Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not. " Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly . | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet. Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done. I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating. Imagine that! Going without!" But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever. | |||
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"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent . Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not. Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly . " So if you are so against "cheaters" why place yourself in an environment where you're highly likely to be meeting them? | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet. Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done. I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating. Imagine that! Going without! But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever." I've cheated. I've cheated alot. That doesn't mean I cheat now. I prefer to go on peoples current behaviour, rather than their past. Second chances and all that. | |||
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"I don't feel I have any right to judge why anyone is on here, married or not. I wouldn't normally, but the guy is asking for people's opinions on the subject. I didn't ask for your opinion on my post? I don't think you understand how forums work. I do. That poster said she doesn't normally comment on people's relationship status unless asked yet she did on a post of mine where I did not ask for opinions on my relationship. What's good for here is good for the lounge. " You misunderstand, I was agreeing with you that I don't normally judge either but that the OP was asking for opinions. When you post on the forums, people will comment on your posts. That's the way it works | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it. It's called trust. I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others. Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience." Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it. It's called trust. I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others. Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience. Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself. " I'm sorry you have such a negative view on life. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I'd be interested to know how you actually get proof that no one is cheating before you have sex with them? Generally I meet first in a coffee shop near their home, and then I arrange to meet at their home. After that we can meet at mine or theirs. It's not foolproof, but I find it pretty good. There is no foolproof way of finding out but we do not just jump into bed we make sure we meet them socially first after many messages, we also look at their verifications I see if we know any of them, if we get the slightest thought they might be cheating we just don't meet. Precisely, no way of knowing for definite. Can't be done. I just don't sleep with people if I'm not happy that they're not cheating. Imagine that! Going without! But those you do sleep with could've cheats, for all you know. There are never any guarantees. Ever. I've cheated. I've cheated alot. That doesn't mean I cheat now. I prefer to go on peoples current behaviour, rather than their past. Second chances and all that." | |||
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"As someone who has been cheated on and found out in the most awful way possible I completely abhor cheating. To me there are three choices - stay in the relationship and be monogamous, leave the relationship or come to an agreement with the other person in the relationship so that you/both of you get what you need with the others consent . Obviously I cannot be sure that we've never played with a married guy ( we don't play with other women at the moment) but I do ask and that is all I can do . I could never knowingly help someone deceive and potentially hurt their partner I totally respect people's choice and understand about not playing with "cheaters". But my point is a lot of people on here will be having sex with "cheaters" whether they like it or not. Oh I completely agree which is why I said knowingly . So if you are so against "cheaters" why place yourself in an environment where you're highly likely to be meeting them?" Because we want to swing and I don't see why other people's behaviour should stop us ? We do our best to make sure we don't play with married people and that keeps our consciences clear . I don't want to get run over but I still don't always use a pedestrian crossing . I just look before I cross the road | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it." Wow. You're totally right. Everyone's partners must cheat because they work away from home. Is that what it is? Your partner works away so you think he's cheating, so you might as well. Or do you think he's faithful? I'm actually curious now. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? " The grounds of a divorce have no bearing on a financial settlement in divorce matters. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it. It's called trust. I trust that my partner, when he works away three nights a week (and before that, for two weeks a month at a time) that he tells me if he's planning to sleep with other people. If we were monogamous then I would trust that he was not sleeping with others. Trust and communication. Those fundamental things that relationships are based on. Without trust and communication you don't really have a relationship - you have house sharing for convenience. Trust....now that's another word that is casually thrown around this site. The only person you can ever truly trust in life is yourself. I'm sorry you have such a negative view on life." It's not negative in the slightest, wrong choice of word there. It's realistic. You may think you can trust someone, but you will never fullly know for definite. | |||
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"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. " Was that hotlist you said? | |||
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"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. " May as well add me too | |||
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"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. Was that hotlist you said? " If you like. | |||
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"I don't understand why it's anyone else's business? I understand that they don't wanna be dragged into a messy situation, but surely if someone is having casual sex behind a partners back and were in a situation that they get caught, they'd hold their hands up. It's not so much a matter of it being any of my business, but I don't really want an angry Other Half showing up at my door giving me grief when they get found out - I have enough problems of my own right now thank you very much.why would they? What's more I never exchange full names or home addresses so this would never happen with me. " You think not?! All it takes is for that guy's wife to follow him and then to follow you home,pretty simple really. | |||
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"I don't think anyone is going to have an epiphany here and decide to stop cheating on their partners from this thread. The sad thing is that they think said partner's are stupid enough to not be able to find out what's going on. Really is such a display of love and caring to not only lie, but then look at them like they are clueless too. Nobody is bulletproof and mistakes get made. You create your own karma when it comes down to it, so enjoy your cheating before you're found out and your partner shames you to your friends, family, work friends, and you're left reeling in the divorce settlement. Swinging is adultery too, right? I know people who have been cheating for years and years and never been caught. There are ways and means. What about all of you whose spouse work away? Have you a 100% guarantee that when they are away they aren't having sex with others? I doubt it. Wow. You're totally right. Everyone's partners must cheat because they work away from home. Is that what it is? Your partner works away so you think he's cheating, so you might as well. Or do you think he's faithful? I'm actually curious now. " Don't be silly, I didn't say everyone who works away from home. But a percentage of people definitely do. | |||
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"Can all the people who don't want to meet a "scumbag cheater" please add me to their block list? Thanks..as you were. May as well add me too " I thought this was going to be that appreciation thread you had alluded to. | |||
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"It's just wrong, swinging is about consenting adults, if you are single then fine, if you are married and doing it behind your partners back then you are a cheat, simple. You're still a consenting adult though, even if you are cheating. Then leave your partner, become single and you will not be cheating Consenting adults also means, if you are married or in a long term relationship consent has to come from your partner as well. we do not play with anyone who is married without the permission of the other partner. I disagree. Consent when it comes to sex, means only the persons engaging in the sexual act, no one else. " I wouldn't bother trying to explain yourself anymore, to some people on here cheating is the cardinal sin, but they'll quite happily fuck all manner of crims! Unless of course they ask for CRB and credit checks, and a clean drug test too And to tell cheaters they should stick to specialist affair sites is beyond ridiculous...who says married men and women want affairs? I'm happy with casual NSA sex so I'll stick to Fab - couldn't give a toss if strangers judge me! | |||
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