FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Can you go from swinger... to normal dating?
Can you go from swinger... to normal dating?
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By *rumyguy OP Man
over a year ago
Hagley |
I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself? |
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By *rumyguy OP Man
over a year ago
Hagley |
"I've gone to dating .....
Seeing the same guy since January and not even thought about having sex with anyone else. "
After doing swinging for 10 years... I feel like it's normal life to have threesomes and extra fun and swapping... I know it's not but mentally I feel like it's the norm and wanted to see if I was only one who has changed my thinking about normal dating lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My last 4 relationships have had an eliminate of swinging in them . Im not sure if I could have a so called normal relationship again . Its far to much fun to have a partner that plays . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is difficult. I recently went from a swinging relationship with a long term partner to seeing a girl in a normal relationship after me & long term broke up.
It was difficult not thinking that sleeping with other people was not normal, plus pretty much vanilla barely did it for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've gone to dating .....
Seeing the same guy since January and not even thought about having sex with anyone else. "
Does your boyfriend know you're on Fab? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've gone to dating .....
Seeing the same guy since January and not even thought about having sex with anyone else.
Does your boyfriend know you're on Fab? "
He does. I was on fab before we met. He knows I'm here and can read my messages.
I don't meet only chat.
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I don't think of socials as dating at all. Equally I wouldn't think of dating as being a relationship.
I've not had chance to test it but I think I would find it hard not to have a relationship with someone who is a swinger  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't see why not. Depends on the "normal" relationship. I couldn't doing boring sex. But as long as it was all exciting, why not? 
guess it depends what you get from swinging? Everyone is doing the same action, but the results differ massively. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think it depends on your makeup/mindset as a person in terms of how you relate to others... if you find the person that's the right fit for you, is it really that important? You guys as a couple will set ur boundaries and go from there... To me it's pretty simple but happy to be corrected x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I'very found the answer in "polyamory" where everyone has to be totally honest to each other
This is what I want, though a closed, bi MMF triad "
Nice dream lol |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
Tried it went off Fab for sometime and had a vanilla relationship. Didn't work for me and I have realized that monogamy is something I can never live with long-term. I would like to have a relationship though, but with someone who enjoys swinging. So short answer is NO for me. |
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Anyone who classes a meet on here as a date has serious issues and should get help with that as it has long term psychological and relationship consequences.
This is a swingers site. It's not match.com |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must admit I'd run to the hills if I thought someone viewed a social as a date.... errr naw. A social is basically an interview to see if I want to fuck you.
If I want a date I'll get one. No wonder people end up getting hurt on here. |
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By *pices69Couple
over a year ago
Gravesend |
"Anyone who classes a meet on here as a date has serious issues and should get help with that as it has long term psychological and relationship consequences.
This is a swingers site. It's not match.com"
I think you are projecting there.
A date can be made up of anything you want... a walk in the park, a coffee, lunch, dinner, a shag. Its two people meeting to do something they both enjoy and see where it goes. |
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I was married, in a monogamous relationship and that was fine. Left my husband and after a few years tried internet dating, but realised I wanted to explore more: I was a virgin when I married.
I met my partner on here. We both know monogamy is not for us and we're free to see whoever we like whenever we like. The only rule is he doesn't bring women back to my house. He moved in with me.
Apart from that...
I don't look at people when I'm out, my life doesn't revolve around sex. |
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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
we have always had a straight meet with friends so goin out for meal or pub date with straights would be no problem .but we are regular thrill seekers in many diferent sexual games and do not think a [normal]sexual relationship would work.think that the sex thrill brought us together on fab.but if you where looking for a partner for life [and you vanilla]you wouldnt wont a fabber would you? |
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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago
Fareham |
It all depends on what you both want out of life. Our relationship has changed hugely and no longer looking to jump into bed every weekend with FAB players, but we still enjoy talking about it and will still play if and when we both want to. So we believe you can have a normal relationship with just an added little twist but it has to be a mutual thing |
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"I must admit I'd run to the hills if I thought someone viewed a social as a date.... errr naw. A social is basically an interview to see if I want to fuck you.
If I want a date I'll get one. No wonder people end up getting hurt on here."
 |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"I must admit I'd run to the hills if I thought someone viewed a social as a date.... errr naw. A social is basically an interview to see if I want to fuck you.
If I want a date I'll get one. No wonder people end up getting hurt on here."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being in a swinging relationship does not mean that every single time you have sex is with another person. I would say for us its maybe 5% of our sex life together. We might meet someone once a month but have sex 4 times a week just us 2. Why would this ever stop us from having a non swinging relationship if we were not together? Surely it's a very small percentage to give up, no more than say going from a girlfriend that liked anal to one that doesnt |
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In answer to your question op - yes I'd like to think so - but you're right as in fab changes you - but in some respects positively I think!
I'm almost completely happy at the moment with very occasional bouts of 'wouldn't it be nice if?' - I'd only swap my single life for a VERY good relationship - not a relationship for the sake of it because I'm lonely!
On the downside (if it's a downside) - I've re-discovered on here what amazing sex feels like - so my sex life in a relationship would have to be pretty marvellous too!
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being in a swinging relationship does not mean that every single time you have sex is with another person. I would say for us its maybe 5% of our sex life together. We might meet someone once a month but have sex 4 times a week just us 2. Why would this ever stop us from having a non swinging relationship if we were not together? Surely it's a very small percentage to give up, no more than say going from a girlfriend that liked anal to one that doesnt"
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I guess it depends what you want from life and what long term will make you happy. From past experience it depends on the person you meet, for me that person would have to have a naughty streak in them does not have to be swinging but good sex is important to any relationship. If you can have good fun sex with one person then you wont feel the need or crave that need to swing. Im pretty open now and if I do meet anyone and it turns into a few dates i let them know what makes me tick and at least be honest with them from the start. |
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By *b23Man
over a year ago
Trowbridge |
When I take a break from fab and try dating. Even if things are going great and I see myself being with someone long term the whole sleeping with one person isn't enough for me sexually.
I guess just have to be upfront and mention swinging or find someone through swinging. |
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"I must admit I'd run to the hills if I thought someone viewed a social as a date.... errr naw. A social is basically an interview to see if I want to fuck you.
If I want a date I'll get one. No wonder people end up getting hurt on here."
Oh so this! |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I don't think I could go back to the normal dating. I'm poly anyway... that plus swinging just feel completely normal to me.
I absolutely know that my lifestyle is not for everyone, but I know it is right for me. |
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By *rumyguy OP Man
over a year ago
Hagley |
I think some answers are great... I never said going for a social was a date lol I just mean in general... because I've been swinging for 10 years... I feel like mentally I think swinging is 'normal' where as 10 years ago if id thought about couple swapping and MMF and gloryhole etc lol I'd be like... does it really happen?? Now I think... being in a relationship having doggystyle being the most adventurous thing you do in a normal relationship would be weird. Mentally I think the secret swinging world has changed my thinking of the whole 'relationship' lifestyle. Like I said it's not bad or good... just curious to see if anyone thinks this way? |
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By *rumyguy OP Man
over a year ago
Hagley |
"Being in a swinging relationship does not mean that every single time you have sex is with another person. I would say for us its maybe 5% of our sex life together. We might meet someone once a month but have sex 4 times a week just us 2. Why would this ever stop us from having a non swinging relationship if we were not together? Surely it's a very small percentage to give up, no more than say going from a girlfriend that liked anal to one that doesnt"
Yeah I agree... prefect situation really... normal relationship with the odd adventure to spice things up. But just saying if you've been a swinger for a while... can you just go meet someone in general who doesn't understand swinging and can you cope going back to 'normal' life lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself?"
I know exactly where you are coming from and I have finally come to the realisation that I cannot go on proper 'non fab' dated or have a 'vanilla world' girlfriend, it has and always will end in tears because I always want sex with different women. The fact that this site exists is a vehicle to do that with ease, so unfortunately I can never have a monogamous relationship but I suppose I'll have to settle for a hareem some what like the Earl of Bath |
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"I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself?
I know exactly where you are coming from and I have finally come to the realisation that I cannot go on proper 'non fab' dated or have a 'vanilla world' girlfriend, it has and always will end in tears because I always want sex with different women. The fact that this site exists is a vehicle to do that with ease, so unfortunately I can never have a monogamous relationship but I suppose I'll have to settle for a hareem some what like the Earl of Bath "
Or find someone in the scene  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself?
I know exactly where you are coming from and I have finally come to the realisation that I cannot go on proper 'non fab' dated or have a 'vanilla world' girlfriend, it has and always will end in tears because I always want sex with different women. The fact that this site exists is a vehicle to do that with ease, so unfortunately I can never have a monogamous relationship but I suppose I'll have to settle for a hareem some what like the Earl of Bath "
Oh and to add to that every time I do meet a girl in 'normal' world I usually end up telling them about fab during a d*unken honesty session about a month in and not many seem to understand lol x |
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"I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself?"
Not sure i've got this the right way round, but me and my swinging fiance started off as dating, 18 months in we started swinging together (he had done it previously with a previous partner). We have date night, we see people out and about and think mmmm i wouldn't mind, this has no reflection on our dating at all....
LMP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have dated and I have thoughts after a couple of dates `could I be faithful, would he enjoy swinging, would i get bored' etc.
It would take a special guy to make me fall in love and leave fabswingers but I am enjoying the freedom but I have to say after 4 years single Im longing for a relationship, but as that hasnt been forthcoming I will stay a swinger until such time I meet my soulmate. |
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By *pices69Couple
over a year ago
Gravesend |
I love that we had a meet, that didnt end for three days, that we became inseperable and that we both love swinging. Lucky to have found my soulmate who is a swinger and has no qualms about me swinging too. Our meets tend to be a treat for each other though, by the organising one of us. Some people do flowers, we present a girl or a guy to play with  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no idea as I've never really experienced the swinging atmosphere yet, but as far as relationships go, I think I'll stick to a vanilla relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been swinging for a good 10 years on and off... and I feel like it's changed me mentally lol... when I'm walking around sainsburys and I see a couple I think mmmm love to play with his wife or see a nice woman and would love to just bend her over. Not that I would, just think this. But when I think of dating I think it would be weird now to be in a relationship without any other fun with other people.
Does anyone else think swinging has sort of changed them? Not saying it's bad... or good, just I feel like I've only just realised this myself?
I know exactly where you are coming from and I have finally come to the realisation that I cannot go on proper 'non fab' dated or have a 'vanilla world' girlfriend, it has and always will end in tears because I always want sex with different women. The fact that this site exists is a vehicle to do that with ease, so unfortunately I can never have a monogamous relationship but I suppose I'll have to settle for a hareem some what like the Earl of Bath
Or find someone in the scene "
Or find someone who you'd be happy with and do swinging as an "extra" for yourself......... |
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"I think I'very found the answer in "polyamory" where everyone has to be totally honest to each other
This is what I want, though a closed, bi MMF triad
Nice dream lol"
I prefer to think of it as a plan |
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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I have no idea as I've never really experienced the swinging atmosphere yet, but as far as relationships go, I think I'll stick to a vanilla relationship"
sorry but what the fuck you doin on a swingers site if you want a steady one to one relationship.we not getting that at all
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no idea as I've never really experienced the swinging atmosphere yet, but as far as relationships go, I think I'll stick to a vanilla relationship
sorry but what the fuck you doin on a swingers site if you want a steady one to one relationship.we not getting that at all"
Who said I'm on here actively looking for a relationship? Or is looking for a girlfriend all I'm allowed to do on here? |
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When does swinging go from something your just trying out for fun and having a good time, to a way of life? Is there a defining moment when you think this is for me or tried it and done now? Just curious as new to it really and having a great time but not sure it's something that will become a way of life... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to think this way, until I met Mr X. We both met on the swinging scene but we both said straight away that we didn't want swinging to become part of our relationship. We eventually agreed that we wanted to include a woman occasionally but even with that we are not overly proactive about organising, if we find someone- great, if we don't then nevermind.
And I can honestly say I can't bare the thought of having sex with another man now, partly because I know no one could get me off the way he does also because I know it's not something he would want.
As with any relationship communication is the key and when you fall in love with someone your priorities and needs change. Maybe because we don't have a typically vanilla relationship, our sex life has a hint of kink and we enjoy exhibitionism so even though we don't swing with other men and couples we do like to visit clubs but just play together.
Mrs X |
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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I used to think this way, until I met Mr X. We both met on the swinging scene but we both said straight away that we didn't want swinging to become part of our relationship. We eventually agreed that we wanted to include a woman occasionally but even with that we are not overly proactive about organising, if we find someone- great, if we don't then nevermind.
And I can honestly say I can't bare the thought of having sex with another man now, partly because I know no one could get me off the way he does also because I know it's not something he would want.
As with any relationship communication is the key and when you fall in love with someone your priorities and needs change. Maybe because we don't have a typically vanilla relationship, our sex life has a hint of kink and we enjoy exhibitionism so even though we don't swing with other men and couples we do like to visit clubs but just play together.
Mrs X "
we very happy for you both.and glad you still enjoy the clubs .even though you not having diferent male fun.think that you still have not become a straight vanilla couple .and are still part of swinging world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've gone to dating .....
Seeing the same guy since January and not even thought about having sex with anyone else.
Does your boyfriend know you're on Fab?
He does. I was on fab before we met. He knows I'm here and can read my messages.
I don't meet only chat.
As my good friend V says she is only here to chat and as the most honest and open person I've ever met on fab that is spot on! It's the power of love!!
"
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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I've gone to dating .....
Seeing the same guy since January and not even thought about having sex with anyone else.
Does your boyfriend know you're on Fab?
He does. I was on fab before we met. He knows I'm here and can read my messages.
I don't meet only chat.
As my good friend V says she is only here to chat and as the most honest and open person I've ever met on fab that is spot on! It's the power of love!!
"
what you chat about ?you be better off on a none swinging site shurley we been on here a while and have seen many come and go ,but most return to dance again with the devil ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We could easily handle only fucking each other. We aren't too bothered about fucking others so we would be happy with just each other as we were for quite a while before swinging even came into the picture.
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