Messed around a depressing amount lately. Do all the right things, getting on, agreement to meet I principal if not actual, then ghosted, improbable reasons to not meet, kept at arms length and what looked perfect gone in a heartbeat - all with well verified people - both couples and single women........and its supposed to be men who are like this according to the forums. Why are soooooooooo many so disingenuous!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The two main problems I have (not moaning, just saying) are guys who are just here to knock one out and guys who don't understand that no strings just means no strings. It doesn't mean no courtesy, no respect, no effort, no connection and no consideration. I reckon 7 times out of ten if I give someone the chance to actually talk to me they'll either start trying to jerk off or ask a series of banal questions and then ask if I'll meet them. But then there are the other three  and that's why I stay and what I try to focus on. I make a lot of effort myself so I'm disinclined to meet someone who doesn't. |
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"The two main problems I have (not moaning, just saying) are guys who are just here to knock one out and guys who don't understand that no strings just means no strings. It doesn't mean no courtesy, no respect, no effort, no connection and no consideration. I reckon 7 times out of ten if I give someone the chance to actually talk to me they'll either start trying to jerk off or ask a series of banal questions and then ask if I'll meet them. But then there are the other three and that's why I stay and what I try to focus on. I make a lot of effort myself so I'm disinclined to meet someone who doesn't. "
Rightly so - I think it would be lovely if everyone had that attitude. I totally get that some are like that (and I'm embarrassed by it if I'm honest), but while I don't start sexual conversations, am always genuine, keen, well verified, respectful and more than prepared to go the extra mile for people I'm finding myself being unexpectedly messed around a lot lately when we've already spent time establishing all being good, only to get dropped from a great height at the last minute through no fault of my own. A lot of threads exist on this I know, but often appear to lead down the road of total sympathy if it's a single female or couple being messed around by a guy, but a totally opposite approach if it's a man, with many pointing the finger at him as if he should just suck it up, with the inference that it has to be all his fault. Everyone has a right to change their mind of course, but this is happening to me a fair bit lately. I'm not one of the insensitive types who sees rejection as an affront, but one who tends to take a no with good grace. It's just puzzling to be at the point of finding the absolutely right people, establishing everything to be positive and then getting a custard pie in the face without reason. Maybe nice guys aren't what people want, but bad boys as in the real world. |
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