FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > When you try so hard

When you try so hard

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When you try so hard in getting to know someone. The intention is not just about sex but the social element starts to build through a healthy conversation. Then all of a sudden they say they are not interested.

Why dont people just reject in the first instance rather than makng a story up. Its far more easy.

Women or couple moan about timewasters on this site sometimes your not looking hard enough as many genuine men like me are out there. Yes we are not perfect in looks or body but our personality can override those who consider themselves as mr and mrs perfect.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you try so hard in getting to know someone. The intention is not just about sex but the social element starts to build through a healthy conversation. Then all of a sudden they say they are not interested.

Why dont people just reject in the first instance rather than makng a story up. Its far more easy.

Moaning about it won't get you any meets? We all get rejected and you've been on here 2 weeks? Chill out

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By *orkie321bWoman over a year ago

Nottingham

People are allowed to change their mind. Maybe something you said just didn't seem right to them. Just because someone has been talking to you doesn't mean they are obliged to keep doing so or to take things further.

I you can't handle rejection then maybe this isn't the right site for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People are allowed to change their mind. Maybe something you said just didn't seem right to them. Just because someone has been talking to you doesn't mean they are obliged to keep doing so or to take things further.

I you can't handle rejection then maybe this isn't the right site for you."

??????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

people are fickle creatures and prone to changes of mind and heart. as much with desires on fab as with anything else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

id rather someone tell me before it got to organising a meets ..and then having them not turn up! to me, that is the definition of a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes the conversation just dried up

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Rejection in the first instance makes things more easier.

This site has the benefit to remind you that you haven't received a reply to a message you sent. In them cases I leave them alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Life is a roller coaster you just gotta ride it... Bloody Ronan keating

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Conversations can dry up when you recive a short reply that is also a good time to back off and move along

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties"
how did they egg you on.. they were getting to know you and changed their mind

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Sometimes you're interested in the beginning but when you try to build up a good rapport through conversation you feel the chemistry isn't quite right so don't want to Persue things further, everyone's entitled to change their mind they haven't in that instance led you on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why dont people just reject in the first instance rather than makng a story up. Its far more easy.

Maybe something you said or did put them off?

Maybe they felt they no longer wanted to meet you? I've felt the same after chatting to many people on here.

Why should people be obliged to carry on chatting when no one owes anyone anything on here?

Why should people be obliged to give chances or meet people they're not 100% about?

I'd get used to it if I were you.

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

Maybe they are just here for sex. They have enough friends, healthy social life and this is just a fuck. Why would they want to know all about one, some want a social and numerous meets, others want to fuck and go. No right or wrong. But after all it's not match dot com or any other dating site, it's a shagging swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties how did they egg you on.. they were getting to know you and changed their mind "

Talking about meeting for an example then having a talk about what they would do you to you.

Im not new to the site ive been on and off. This person actually found me and asked where ive been

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties how did they egg you on.. they were getting to know you and changed their mind

Talking about meeting for an example then having a talk about what they would do you to you.

Im not new to the site ive been on and off. This person actually found me and asked where ive been"

Ive cancelled at this point as they have said something that put me off. It happens

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By *r Stagger LeeMan over a year ago

torquay

found some people on here are too polite and nice and don't like to hurt others feeling.

if you get deep into conversation bite the bullet and ask for a blunt honest answer whether there are interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh well

Im only just saying

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties how did they egg you on.. they were getting to know you and changed their mind

Talking about meeting for an example then having a talk about what they would do you to you.

Im not new to the site ive been on and off. This person actually found me and asked where ive been"

I personally hate when the chat turns all sexual and what do you want to do to me or I'll do such and such to you, instant turn off I prefer the meet to be more fluid and spontaneous otherwise experience as taught me it's going to be disappointing

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Oh well

Im only just saying"

What you're saying, or rather how it comes across, is "if they don't reject me immediately, I should be OK for a shag", which I'm sure is neither what you intended, or what you actually believe.

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol"

No it's not all about that attraction is an individual thing, I personally I like a mr joe average dad bod type of bloke always have

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol"

No it isn't, but even if it were, if people are looking for sex, it's to be expected they want people they find attractive.

Sure, that sucks if you're average looking because you have to work that much harder and wait that much longer.

Nobody owes you meets or sex just because it's not fair that you're generally considered less attractive than some other guys. And I say that as an average looking, fat woman. A lot of the guys I find attractive aren't interested in me either. That's just how it is.

Personality counts for a lot if you're looking for a relationship. If you want sex, some people are only going to care about physical attraction.

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By *orkie321bWoman over a year ago

Nottingham

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol"

Actually it's only a minority of women who are looking for a guy with a six pack and a mega cock. Most of us are more comfortable with Mr average

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol"

You really could not be more wrong. I promise you, I have neither of those things (pics on request

), and I meet.

There are people out there who would meet you, but your defeatist approach is likely to put them off. If YOU choose to come across this way then there's only one place for the finger of blame to point...

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By *r Stagger LeeMan over a year ago

torquay

there are lots of type on those who like a quick meets where they don't ask names ranging from those who like the social side.

personally it the socially side for me and i had been deep into conversation and didn't feel a play attraction, however i asked direct and was to no, but we are still good friend. it more down to are you here socially or purely for nsa.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol

You really could not be more wrong. I promise you, I have neither of those things (pics on request

), and I meet.

Yeah, the other people who lead him on and then reject him because he has "a lovely personality". Obviously.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I believe its more to do with attraction. And possibly perfection.

There are some profiles that seek perfection

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You need to feel comfortable on who you have sex with and that comes with trust. Trust can be gained through social conversation or meet.

Are you seriously telling me you would take the risk of meeting a person for sex without knowing them.

That can be dangerous.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I believe its more to do with attraction. And possibly perfection.

There are some profiles that seek perfection"

Possibly but they're entitled to seek whatever they want?

Complaining about it won't get you anywhere I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I believe its more to do with attraction. And possibly perfection.

There are some profiles that seek perfection

Possibly but they're entitled to seek whatever they want?

Complaining about it won't get you anywhere I'm afraid."

Not complaining and I am certainly not generalising as I believe there are people out there who look for normality

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I believe its more to do with attraction. And possibly perfection.

There are some profiles that seek perfection

Possibly but they're entitled to seek whatever they want?

Complaining about it won't get you anywhere I'm afraid.

Not complaining and I am certainly not generalising as I believe there are people out there who look for normality "

Make up your mind. It was "all" about "six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest" a minute ago.

You come across as whining that people won't meet you because they don't fancy you, even though you have a great personality which should matter more than looks.

For meets for NSA sex, physical attraction is a major factor. Personality, for many, is much less important. They want sex, not friends. If they want perfection, then that's their call, even if you think you're being excluded unfairly.

If someone doesn't fancy you, they don't have to shag you. There's nothing unfair about that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

DEE VIANT why do you feel agitated over comments. Surely im allowed to speak mind.

Writing a long essay of criticism makes you sound like your the frustrated one.

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 13/11/16 00:57:12]

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I give up. Best of luck to you OP

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"DEE VIANT why do you feel agitated over comments. Surely im allowed to speak mind.

Writing a long essay of criticism makes you sound like your the frustrated one. "

That's your idea of an essay?

You can speak your mind but, get this, so can I! Shocking eh? I expect that's also unfair? People disagreeing with you?

You're the one posting to complain yet you think I'm agitated? Maybe reconsider that one

Attraction doesn't work according to what's fair, unfortunately.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I give up. Best of luck to you OP"

Sensible, I think

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

Why dont people just reject in the first instance rather than makng a story up. Its far more easy.

Have you thought you could be getting too intense.

People here are looking to swing not looking for lifetime partners

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So they got to know you and decided they weren't interested? This makes a change from the usual lament that people are rejecting others from the off / being shallow / not giving people "a chance"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Look if people change their mind its for the best.

And for those assuming that im looking for a relationship that is not the case. I am clearly aware that this site is full of horny buggers.

Those who are assuming that I might be boring please dont judge because you clearly haven't seen the contents of the messages I have sent.

Like I said earlier I respect people's choices it's an open arena to try and find what you are looking for.

All I am saying is if you chat to someone its best to end the conversation at the early stages if no intrest is shown.

I got messaged by a girl who shown interest then she decided to say that she didn't find me interesting. She then came back asking me to talk dirty as I made her horny stating that she wanted to meet me. After we arranged the meet she decided to back out on the last minute.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"People do have a choice I agree.

But if you are going to egg them on its time wasted for both parties how did they egg you on.. they were getting to know you and changed their mind "

Stop that, it doesn't fit his agenda.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"If we broke it down to which sex gets rejected more id say men are rejected more than women.

Understandably that is reasonable as some men cant be trusted.

But there are genuine guys out there who would never be chosen because of they are not attractive.

Its all about six packs and a penis that reaches mount everest lol

No it isn't, but even if it were, if people are looking for sex, it's to be expected they want people they find attractive.

Sure, that sucks if you're average looking because you have to work that much harder and wait that much longer.

Personality counts for a lot if you're looking for a relationship. If you want sex, some people are only going to care about physical attraction."

I missed you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You need to feel comfortable on who you have sex with and that comes with trust. Trust can be gained through social conversation or meet.

Are you seriously telling me you would take the risk of meeting a person for sex without knowing them.

That can be dangerous. "

Exactly this, and obviously something that you said gave them pause and a reason to stop chatting and not take it further. OP this whole thread smacks of entitlement at best and sour grapes at worst, neither of which are attractive qualities.

Take a look at yourself first and foremost, if you don't think that you did or said anything wrong then good for you and move on, if you did then think about what to do differently next time and move on... can you spot a theme here?

Here's a little insight; we've all been rejected or felt the other party has been somewhat arbitrary in their dismissal of us, such is life. Learn, adapt, improve... or whinge on the forums, whichever will get you more meets I guess

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"Look if people change their mind its for the best.

And for those assuming that im looking for a relationship that is not the case. I am clearly aware that this site is full of horny buggers.

Those who are assuming that I might be boring please dont judge because you clearly haven't seen the contents of the messages I have sent.

Like I said earlier I respect people's choices it's an open arena to try and find what you are looking for.

All I am saying is if you chat to someone its best to end the conversation at the early stages if no intrest is shown.

She was probably a bloke then.

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

Why dont people just reject in the first instance rather than makng a story up. Its far more easy.

Because I won't necessarily know I don't find someone attractive until I start getting to know them? It doesn't mean they're a bad person if that happens (neither am I when it happens the other way round), just that our personalities aren't compatible. I couldn't therefore reject in the first instance because I don't always make a decision to meet or not based on a single interaction.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get yerself a new hobby, your going nowhere with this one x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You prob just said something that didn't sit right and they changed their minds. As everyone is entitled to do and as I'm sure you will also do at some point.

To be honest if you bellyache and boo hoo about normal stuff like this all over the forums you will probably be even less successful and less able to progress in the future.

Most of us don't give a fuck about muscles and monster cocks, we just want someone we feel compatible with that's all.

Ruby x

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By *rimo4uMan over a year ago

north kensington w10

I you can't handle rejection then maybe this isn't the right site for you."

Sure like anyone who care's can handle rejection every time.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

It is possible to be interested in the beginning, but then they get comfortable with you and start whinning or getting boring, or say something that puts you off them.

Maybe you start a conversation with someone new and they are more interesting than the original person.

Or the chat has gone on soooo long that I feel they are never going to meet just here for the chat.

Of course they could be polite in carrying on the conversation or socially awkward and not know how to extract themselves from the messaging without feeling they are upsetting you.

Who knows.

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By *ishopstippleMan over a year ago

Purley

OP youve been onhere 3 weeks and your complaining.

Having read the whole of the thread you come across as impatient, with ego-driven self-entitlement and needy.

You profile is also negative, and give no indication of what your bringing to the party you so desperately want to attend in either pictures or words.

None of those attributes will get you anywhere on here.

I've been here 5+ years and in that time guess how many successful meets I've had of this site.

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