FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Too many guys want one offs
Too many guys want one offs
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Finding this more and more on fab and as its not what I am seeking we tend not to get past the social meet stage.
I state it quite clearly on my profile but it always becomes apparent during the social meet that for them variety IS the spice of life...so why get in touch in the first place? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Finding this more and more on fab and as its not what I am seeking we tend not to get past the social meet stage.
I state it quite clearly on my profile but it always becomes apparent during the social meet that for them variety IS the spice of life...so why get in touch in the first place?"
They are hoping you'll change your mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Finding this more and more on fab and as its not what I am seeking we tend not to get past the social meet stage.
I state it quite clearly on my profile but it always becomes apparent during the social meet that for them variety IS the spice of life...so why get in touch in the first place?
They are hoping you'll change your mind."
And they often do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe talk to them about it before arranging a meet?
Or give them the best blow job they've ever had so they come back for more? " a good sloppy blow job always a reason to go back for more |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We prefer one offs, we have a couple guys we/she meets regular so the old 'fuck and go' works for us.
But most of the guys we have met are persistent in wanting to meet more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe talk to them about it before arranging a meet?
Or give them the best blow job they've ever had so they come back for more? "
This lady has what I like to call the right attitude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason"
I certainly am not moaning and ranting! Merely stating my own experience. I have.met many guys....almost all want to get to bed asap |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So you want a fuck buddy. The ones who want to meet me again arent usually the ones i want to meet again either that or they have left the site. Most of the time im not sure if i want to meet them again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I had a lovely fb for 5 years and he was a great swinging partner at parties and clubs..however he became too attached and wanted a serious relationship so it ended.
I'm not doing blow jobs for any guy so he can meet again thank you very much!!
I think it's just the.mindset of many guys on here..they want to fuck and go |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a lovely fb for 5 years and he was a great swinging partner at parties and clubs..however he became too attached and wanted a serious relationship so it ended.
I'm not doing blow jobs for any guy so he can meet again thank you very much!!
I think it's just the.mindset of many guys on here..they want to fuck and go"
I would kinda think that's the idea for many on here though.. So they arent wrong... just obviously not for you though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason"
Is it? There's nothing set in stone. Everyone uses Fabs for their own purpose.
I hear you OP. I'm having myself a little Fab break as I'm done with selfish want boys. I'm not a damn slot machine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I had a lovely fb for 5 years and he was a great swinging partner at parties and clubs..however he became too attached and wanted a serious relationship so it ended.
I'm not doing blow jobs for any guy so he can meet again thank you very much!!
I think it's just the.mindset of many guys on here..they want to fuck and go"
Pity your not down south op as I take who I sleep with rather seriously for the simple reason I'm not interested in one offs . I like to be very naughty with those I've embarked on a journey with so yes I will play with them as a couple from time to time but I also like to wine and dine them like I would a girlfriend .that's because that kind of behavior appeals to my masculine side and if I'm allowed to indulge my masculinity with a play partner they will reap benefits of feeding my masculine side |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Swinging is about variety, this is a swinging site, clue is in the name, people use it how they want, some guys want a "fuck and go" some people want a regular FB but not a serious commitment (like the OP) and many other ways, all of them selfish in their own way and all just as valid!
We are sure anyone & everyone can find what they are looking for, sometimes with a bit of compromise and thought for the other parties involved |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Swinging is about variety, this is a swinging site, clue is in the name, people use it how they want, some guys want a "fuck and go" some people want a regular FB but not a serious commitment (like the OP) and many other ways, all of them selfish in their own way and all just as valid!
We are sure anyone & everyone can find what they are looking for, sometimes with a bit of compromise and thought for the other parties involved "
Serious commitment?? Er, nope! Not for me. I don't do serious. I just happen to think sex gets better the more you meet the same person you have a connection with! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you just have to wait for the right guy to come along. There are enough of them on here and you will seive through those who dont want anything regular. Unfortunately I think alot of guys and girls say they want something regular but are looking for the right kind of partner so maybe youre not right for them at the moment. It is fun finding that someone though, so dont take it personally.. just move on.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Does wanting variety constitute just a one-off though?
I like variety, I tend to have a sex life that's more a bag of Woolworth's pick n mix than one large bar of Galaxy, but that doesn't mean that I sleep with someone just once, it just means I schedule well!
I much prefer regular meets, but I would never tell someone that I didn't want a whole host of partners. So I may not be able to be as regular as someone may like, but I'll still be able to meet every few weeks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason"
Nsa doesn't have to mean one off meets though.
I'm also looking for repeat meets ..I don't want to marry them!
Just become more comfortable and develop a few areas more something I won't do with a fuck and go
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm coming back round to one-offs. It's quite liberating sometimes knowing you're probably never going to see someone again.
I like a combination of regular friends, occasional repeats and one-offs, so i'd like the men seeking any of those things to still be on the site. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As others have said we all have our own reasons, desires and hopes for what we want from the site, and every single one is the right one for the individual or couple concerned - the key is finding others that match your hopes and desires.
As others have said OP it's a case of filtering out those who don't match what you're looking for and sadly that is going to mean sometimes getting as far as a social meet, or further, to find that out.
Personally I'd much rather have regular meets, without strings, than a series of one offs, purely because you get a chance to explore and find out what works for you both that way - not that sex can't be fantastic in a one off experience, just personally the more I get to know how someone "ticks" the more I personally get out of it, and can put into it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd rather have a regular person to meet that could lead elsewhere eventually if it was desired by both parties at the time.
One offs are for the nights out on the pull. This site offers alot of things you'll never get in the real world. People here share sort of the same passions so atleast you'll find someone with something in common. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging is about variety, this is a swinging site, clue is in the name, people use it how they want, some guys want a "fuck and go" some people want a regular FB but not a serious commitment (like the OP) and many other ways, all of them selfish in their own way and all just as valid!
We are sure anyone & everyone can find what they are looking for, sometimes with a bit of compromise and thought for the other parties involved
Serious commitment?? Er, nope! Not for me. I don't do serious. I just happen to think sex gets better the more you meet the same person you have a connection with! "
They said NOT a serious commitment (LIKE the op) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging is about variety, this is a swinging site, clue is in the name, people use it how they want, some guys want a "fuck and go" some people want a regular FB but not a serious commitment (like the OP) and many other ways, all of them selfish in their own way and all just as valid!
We are sure anyone & everyone can find what they are looking for, sometimes with a bit of compromise and thought for the other parties involved
Serious commitment?? Er, nope! Not for me. I don't do serious. I just happen to think sex gets better the more you meet the same person you have a connection with!
They said NOT a serious commitment (LIKE the op)"
yep, thats what we meant xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
" dont agree that sex addicts are bored.. they quite simply need it.... its hard to keep in check.. but it isn't boredom in most cases.
Some people like the thrill of the chase more than the catch and thats just what they like. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
dont agree that sex addicts are bored.. they quite simply need it.... its hard to keep in check.. but it isn't boredom in most cases.
Some people like the thrill of the chase more than the catch and thats just what they like. "
some are, definitely. we're people in our own right as well as sex addicts so will have differing needs.
i'm bored of the chase and regular sex, even the regular good sex. well as a female thee is no chase, nobody says no lol, but i'm just bored of the looking for sex altogether.
fallen in love with my decent collection of sex toys instead, for now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Swinging is about variety, this is a swinging site, clue is in the name, people use it how they want, some guys want a "fuck and go" some people want a regular FB but not a serious commitment (like the OP) and many other ways, all of them selfish in their own way and all just as valid!
We are sure anyone & everyone can find what they are looking for, sometimes with a bit of compromise and thought for the other parties involved
Serious commitment?? Er, nope! Not for me. I don't do serious. I just happen to think sex gets better the more you meet the same person you have a connection with!
They said NOT a serious commitment (LIKE the op)
yep, thats what we meant xx"
Yep you did..my mistake! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with op too many guys just seem to want to fuck all of fab
What's wrong with people doing what they want? It's not a crime."
No its not everyone entitled to do as they please im just expressing my opinion and saying i wish there were guys who are up for regular meets as thats what im looking for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason"
Looking for a relationship....lol on Fab
So many geniuses on here thinking they're going to reinvent the wheel. Anyone looking for a serious relationship on here is foolish AFAIK |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a lovely fb for 5 years and he was a great swinging partner at parties and clubs..however he became too attached and wanted a serious relationship so it ended.
I'm not doing blow jobs for any guy so he can meet again thank you very much!!
I think it's just the.mindset of many guys on here..they want to fuck and go"
Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason"
I'd agree but her profile clearly states what she's looking for. I'm assuming she reiterates that before the social and they say all the right things hoping she'll change her mind...but it's assumption on my part. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason
Looking for a relationship....lol on Fab
So many geniuses on here thinking they're going to reinvent the wheel. Anyone looking for a serious relationship on here is foolish AFAIK"
What does AFAIK stand for? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We love one off meets , and totally disagree with statements such as the sex gets better the more you know someone . From our experience the thrill of the first meet , the adrenaline rush and the not knowing what to expect just can't be matched . So we have precisely the opposite perspective to the op . The vast majority of guys want repeat meets , but we truly don't .
Swinging by definition should be about each and every person doing as they please , without judgement . The guys who want one offs with the op have probably had their fingers burned in the past with needy and clingy women in the scene . That's no slight in the op , just an observation . We have met so many single guys who say they have had enough of single women who want exclusivity , or start judging them when they have lots of meets with others . That's not what they want . And why should they ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason
Looking for a relationship....lol on Fab
So many geniuses on here thinking they're going to reinvent the wheel. Anyone looking for a serious relationship on here is foolish AFAIK
What does AFAIK stand for?"
As far as I know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
"
They are bored with having sex with the same person and bored with sex thats why straight sex isnt enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not sure how you know you'd want more than just a one off with someone before you meet them. Surely it's about whether you want them again as an individual once you know them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not sure how you know you'd want more than just a one off with someone before you meet them. Surely it's about whether you want them again as an individual once you know them? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *az1Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Hi I'm looking for a couple or single lady for regular meets. I've been in this scene and the swinging lifestyle for a while now so am quite experienced and got plenty of ideas, some of which I've put on my profile if you would like to read x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
dont agree that sex addicts are bored.. they quite simply need it.... its hard to keep in check.. but it isn't boredom in most cases.
Some people like the thrill of the chase more than the catch and thats just what they like. "
I think the poster you relied to makes a lot of good points. A lot of it is just boredom and a chase of a cheap thrill. Hence why you often find people complaining that the sex on here isnt even straightforward a lot of the time. I find (often when it comes to single people) that very few people people (women especially) are actually just in need of the sex to fulfill a need. There are almost always ulterior motives or some kind of compensation. And sometimes these compensations get end up ultimately having negative psychological effects on the participants.
As stated, Fab is A BAD place to to be pushing for any kind of emotional fulfillment through sex. Which is what I find here alot, people chasing emotional highs/fulfillment through sex. It doesnt work. Hence why swinging is more for couples than singles. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
They are bored with having sex with the same person and bored with sex thats why straight sex isnt enough."
We totally disagree, we enjoy one offs, very often when swinging sex with others can be boring as the third party cannot match the thrill of sex we have between each other.
Your comment may possibly be ture for singles who "swing" but we doubt is many couples would agree with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most of the people that have replied saying that people shouldn't be looking for repeat meets or that one offs are all about the thrill and that's the main thing are couples. You guys already have the person your are repeatedly having sex with
So when some couples say that sex with someone over and over isn't better than a one off... well that's quite interesting
This site is just a tool to help people have sex. Now for me I need a connection with someone to have good sex and from a practical point of _iew someone I can see regularly is easier than trawling through the messages, trying to set something up over and over again. Why not have someone on tap |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
They are bored with having sex with the same person and bored with sex thats why straight sex isnt enough.
We totally disagree, we enjoy one offs, very often when swinging sex with others can be boring as the third party cannot match the thrill of sex we have between each other.
Your comment may possibly be ture for singles who "swing" but we doubt is many couples would agree with you"
We certainly agree with you , and the notion that we are bored with sex with each other couldn't be further from the truth .
We have never been bored of sex with each other , and we certainly don't do this as we are bored of sex per se .
We love sex in all shapes and forms and swing because we can embrace it . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not sure how you know you'd want more than just a one off with someone before you meet them. Surely it's about whether you want them again as an individual once you know them? "
Exactly this. I've never understood the "looking for a fb" mentality. To me that's something that develops over time not something you decide before meeting. I treat every meet as if they are a one off. If we meet again then great. If not that's also great. That's always been my way. No pressure and no disappointment. Just great sex. That to me is what fab is great for. There are clearly a lot of chancers about if the op is often meeting the wrong type of guy. Can't say i blame them really knowing how hard it is for guys on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
They are bored with having sex with the same person and bored with sex thats why straight sex isnt enough.
We totally disagree, we enjoy one offs, very often when swinging sex with others can be boring as the third party cannot match the thrill of sex we have between each other.
Your comment may possibly be ture for singles who "swing" but we doubt is many couples would agree with you"
Its just that a couple of men who were married said they get bored having sex with the same woman, only they werent as polite about it, which i thought was very disrespectful, but then thats what some people are like, they feel no shame about cheating on their wives or anything else as long as they are happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"a lot of people are sex addicts AND emotionally unavailable. they will seek one offs and be enjoying constantly looking for the next person to fuck.
they're actually bored of sex so are seeking other thrills sexually.
They are bored with having sex with the same person and bored with sex thats why straight sex isnt enough.
We totally disagree, we enjoy one offs, very often when swinging sex with others can be boring as the third party cannot match the thrill of sex we have between each other.
Your comment may possibly be ture for singles who "swing" but we doubt is many couples would agree with you
Its just that a couple of men who were married said they get bored having sex with the same woman, only they werent as polite about it, which i thought was very disrespectful, but then thats what some people are like, they feel no shame about cheating on their wives or anything else as long as they are happy."
You are confusing cheating with swinging |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Every meet I've had from here, both on my new and old profiles, wanted regular meets. The way they broached it was always the same, 'well, sex is better the more you get to do it with someone, isn't it?'
So there are plenty on the site that want to do more than just fuck and move on. I've yet to meet a guy that didn't want to go for rounds two, three, four, more...but this is me as a single female on the site. Maybe I'd find the experience as a couple completely different.
It's a shame that the only ones you come across only want to meet once though, not finding what you're looking for on here is a bit of a nightmare.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not sure how you know you'd want more than just a one off with someone before you meet them. Surely it's about whether you want them again as an individual once you know them? "
Absolutely this. I approach meets with the _iew that if all goes well, it won't be a one off
But sometimes for various reasons that won't happen because it's only after the meet that you know if you'd like to actually meet again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I was lucky as a single woman to have people i met a few times,I did have meets where I wouldn't have wanted a repeat too though.
Sometimes you just don't click the way you expect etc
Don't let it get you down too much op.
Miss
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We must get contacted by the wrong people as I find the opposite... to many wanting to meet regular. "
Also it depends on where you live and if they have to travel a long way to get to you, they would prefer to meet someone nearer, im only available weekdays at 2pm where as others are available more often. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One off meets happen to us all for a number of reasons, distance, in a club somewhere, diaries cant align etc etc
or maybe we were just not any good! We didn't click etc, either party didn't put some effort in.....
.....personally if we've had a awesome play we want to go back for more, if we haven't we don't! Maybe some people should hear that in mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"One off meets happen to us all for a number of reasons, distance, in a club somewhere, diaries cant align etc etc
or maybe we were just not any good! We didn't click etc, either party didn't put some effort in.....
.....personally if we've had a awesome play we want to go back for more, if we haven't we don't! Maybe some people should hear that in mind"
No i probably wasnt awesome enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"Does wanting variety constitute just a one-off though?
I like variety, I tend to have a sex life that's more a bag of Woolworth's pick n mix than one large bar of Galaxy, but that doesn't mean that I sleep with someone just once, it just means I schedule well!
I much prefer regular meets, but I would never tell someone that I didn't want a whole host of partners. So I may not be able to be as regular as someone may like, but I'll still be able to meet every few weeks."
? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *D835Man
over a year ago
London |
"Most of the people that have replied saying that people shouldn't be looking for repeat meets or that one offs are all about the thrill and that's the main thing are couples. You guys already have the person your are repeatedly having sex with
So when some couples say that sex with someone over and over isn't better than a one off... well that's quite interesting
This site is just a tool to help people have sex. Now for me I need a connection with someone to have good sex and from a practical point of _iew someone I can see regularly is easier than trawling through the messages, trying to set something up over and over again. Why not have someone on tap"
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its a nsa swinging site, what do you expect them to want? I know people look for other stuff but you can hardly moan when people use it for its primary reason
I'd agree but her profile clearly states what she's looking for. I'm assuming she reiterates that before the social and they say all the right things hoping she'll change her mind...but it's assumption on my part. "
Hey, you're spot-on there |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omez42Man
over a year ago
gloucester |
I won't commit to anything more than a one off meet, even though I'm looking for a regular fb.
I'm not going to presume that it will go further than the one time until we're all happy. If it goes well, we will all want to do it again, but it's awkward on all sides to commit before we've even met. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic