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The four way attraction
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Following on from another thread, we find it hard to meet couples that we equally find the respective opposite sex attractive.
It could be that that Belle finds the other guy attractive, but I don't find the woman attractive or vice versa.
We wouldn't "take one for the team" but got us wondering....
Would others have fun with someone else, just so their partner could have fun with someone they like?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I ( cali ) am really good at becoming the camera lady ... so if I dont want to play i offer the lady both men..
I have to say I actually enjoy doing this at times anyway... so it doesn't mean I dont like the guy... but sometimes its a great get out x |
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Went to a swingers hotel in Blackpool many years ago. My wife really fancied this guy I wasn't too bothered about his wife but as has been said a fuck is a fuck.
Turns out he was hopeless and she was very sexy
On the rare occasions we play together we both have to have an attraction now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would, it wouldn't bother me too much. The excitement is in the dynamic, rather than my attraction."
Im glad someone else has said that... I have tried to explain that for me its the experience not the people in group play and my pleasure at my partners enjoyment and the situation...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have done a 'one for the team' session but it was many moons ago during our early forays into the swinging world.
We didn't feel good about it afterwards and when we talked, so we wouldn't do it again.
No matter how hard it is to get that all round attraction between the relevant parties, we'll continue to hold out for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would, it wouldn't bother me too much. The excitement is in the dynamic, rather than my attraction."
That's the same for us we tend not to look as them as to individuals and base it just on looks we look at the dynamics of the couple and enjoy that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Neither of us ever take one for the team so to speak, levels of attraction can differ and we are both rather sapiosexual so that helps, personality is our biggest attraction xx |
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By *ompip3Couple
over a year ago
Paisley |
We wouldn't take one for the team..... We have both discussed at length and we both need to find the opposite partner attractive. (This doesn't necessarily mean looks, as personality plays a much bigger part)
It has limited and will continue to limit our meets, but we'd rather it that way.....and our previous meets have been testament to that, great sexy times which we would repeat in an instant. |
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"We wouldn't take one for the team..... We have both discussed at length and we both need to find the opposite partner attractive. (This doesn't necessarily mean looks, as personality plays a much bigger part)
It has limited and will continue to limit our meets, but we'd rather it that way.....and our previous meets have been testament to that, great sexy times which we would repeat in an instant."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We haven't come across this problem yet but then our biggest problem is getting free time to actually meet. We have chatted to a few couples at quest where it was obvious to one of us that the other wasn't interested, or when we've had chance we've asked each other what they think and decided not to take things further so it stayed as just chatting.
Ess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't really feel the need to do that. But because of this we won't meet couples. We get around the problem by attending parties and playing with who we want to play with. If there are enough people there then everybody is usually happy.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm, beard and I would have to fancy both and be confident they fancied us too. I'd hate to think he was taking one for the team  "
I can't think of anything worse than the person you love having sex with someone they're not attracted to just so that you can get what you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm, beard and I would have to fancy both and be confident they fancied us too. I'd hate to think he was taking one for the team
I can't think of anything worse than the person you love having sex with someone they're not attracted to just so that you can get what you want"
This |
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It's really hard to find a four way attraction. It's probably me most of the time, saying no, and usually it's because I don't fancy the other guy rather than the woman.
I *did* take one for the team once ... was entirely my decision, no-one coerced me and I reassured my partner I was okay with it. The guy concerned was good company but I didn't fancy him at all ... however, didn't want to spoil everyone else's fun and *thought* I could handle it. Big mistake ... I felt disgusted with myself after and actually felt extremely low for a couple of weeks after. I'd never do that again ... after all, if we do this to have fun, what on earth is the point of going with someone who you don't fancy .... if I could do that in a detached clinical way, I might as well turn pro and get paid for it rather than giving it away for free!
So ... lesson definitely learnt! It's disappointing to go to a club and not find a couple to play with but it'd be worse, for me personally, to sell myself short by playing when there's no attraction. And obviously, had the guy concerned twigged, I appreciate he might not have felt too good about himself either .... I acted my socks (and everything else) off that night |
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No way either of us would take one for the team although its is ridiculously hard to find the four way attraction. Usually we both find the female half attractive but in really fussy over guys so its usually me that says no. Frustrating for us both but it is so worth it when we do play  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from another thread, we find it hard to meet couples that we equally find the respective opposite sex attractive.
It could be that that Belle finds the other guy attractive, but I don't find the woman attractive or vice versa.
We wouldn't "take one for the team" but got us wondering....
Would others have fun with someone else, just so their partner could have fun with someone they like? "
Yeah we both have , and certainly will again .
We don't over complicate our swinging life , and although we don't see it in any way as taking one for the team , we happily put as much into a meet where one of a couple aren't really our cup of tea  |
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Very interesting question!
We've not actually 'took one for the team'(tm) yet... but maybe it will happen in the future?
If we see someone we like on fab, it is usually always Alice who has the final yes/no anyway, so I have already made my decision.
If we're in a club, the dynamic (as people have pointed out) is very very important. There may be a drop dead gorgeous couple that we both love the look of, but they are completely dull and there is no spark (has happened) OR another couple that we think are fairly attractive, but you get chatting to them and realise that fireworks are going off between us!
There are many many times when we've liked one and not the other of a couple though... but you just move on and say no thank you politely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We both have taken one for the team x"
We have encountered the compatible couples problem since we started and while we have not played with a couple properly, we have met lots of lovely people who either we are not their type or vice versa.
But it's not taking one for the team that bothers me.
It's being the person who the woman from the other couple has taken one for the team with.
Jools has no problems finding guy's who are attracted to her.
I definitely appear to be the deal breaker when it comes to couples. |
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I have met couples when i only fancied one of them same with men, sometimes when they turn up they look better than in their pictures. I usually prefer one to the other for looks or personality and you cant always tell what they are like until you meet them. |
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