FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bisexuality
Bisexuality
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
The same way that you're a bisexual man who isn't looking for men....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
The same way that you're a bisexual man who isn't looking for men....
"
That's not the same at all, is it. I'm not even going to explain to you why it isn't the same. Stop.
OP: I haven't noticed that many profiles that state this - though I do come across one or two every so often.
This topic comes up a lot and usually ends up in a big forum argument... Come to think of it, EVERYTHING usually ends up in a big forum argument.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
How is it hypocritical? Some couples only meet singles and don't meet couples.
Is that hypocritical or just their preference? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know what you're saying OP, I do think think bisexual men get a pretty rough ride (as it were....). As I've been with bisexual men in the past (love bi night at chams!) I have to tick that when I get checked at the clinic, and if I'm right I think it also means I can't give blood? 
I suspect with many people it's not actually either of those things though, I think there can be unjust assumptions....I had an otherwise great social with a guy who told me "those bi guys are just dirty, they'll fuck anything".....erm.... you're saying this to a bi woman?
End of the day people have a right to choose who they do/don't want to meet, for all manner of reasons. If others can't understand those choices, it doesn't make them less valid. Just seek out those who are compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I do understand what the OP is saying. Although it is of course anyone's right to have preferences that fact that a man is bi wouldn't stop us playing with him. Or at least wouldn't stop the Mrs and he'd understand i'm straight. It does seem to be a little 'fear factor' of getting harassed/pounced on which implies that you'd even be lucky enough that they did fancy you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think bi men get a rough ride. People like what they like. If ladies are turned off by bi men.......it's no great problem, it's their preference! Luckily there are plenty of gorgeous ladies about who are interested in bi lads!!!  |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"I don't think bi men get a rough ride. People like what they like. If ladies are turned off by bi men.......it's no great problem, it's their preference! Luckily there are plenty of gorgeous ladies about who are interested in bi lads!!! "
And a few blokes too ;-P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do understand what the OP is saying, there seems to be some circle jerking here.
However, you have to respect people's preferences and move on. We have preferences that would seem hypocritical and probably are.
But so what?
Fab is not an equal opportunities employer lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm bi, have no trouble getting offers and I am choosy.
In my experience it's the straight guys that'll fuck anything that moves. You should see some of the offers I get lol |
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"I'm bi, have no trouble getting offers and I am choosy.
In my experience it's the straight guys that'll fuck anything that moves. You should see some of the offers I get lol "
Ah yes, and then roll over and offer you their arse.
*tuts*
Men! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OED definition of hypocritical: Behaving in a way that suggests one has higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case.
How on earth can you see it as hypocritical OP??
I'm a bisexual woman. I would meet a bisexual man alone. I wouldn't meet two bi guys to have an MMF because seeing two guys pleasuring each other doesn't do it for me.
Flip the situation.
I wear glasses, and hate wearing them, think they make me more unattractive. However I'm usually very attracted to people who wear glasses, and find them sexy.
Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't think so.
Just a humble opinion though  |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I'm bi but haven't experienced much one on one fun as I've mostly played in 3sums. It can be intimidating when people come on too strong.
Some women don't like bi guys as they can be higher risk if they don't play safe. Personally I like bi guys. Conversations can be interesting. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
Why is it in any way hypocritical? I will happily play with bi men as long as they play straight. I just find man on man a turn off - just as you probably find there are things that turn you off. |
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
This has to be a joke |
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There are people of all sexual persuasions who'll 'fuck anything' and indulge in unsafe sex. It's a shame that some still persist in believing that particular sexualities are more likely to do this than others because they're blocking themselves from potentially good meets but what can you do, there's no point in trying to persuade someone their preference is 'wrong' when they have such set beliefs. I really can't get too worked up about people who shy away from bi guys, or indeed anyone who states any other sort of preference - unless they justify those preferences in ridiculously offensive ways.
Me ... my main consideration is do I find someone attractive or not? And if I do I'd then try to satisfy myself as much as I could that they had a responsible and considerate sexual attitude, *regardless* of the way they defined themselves sexually ... but we all choose partners in different ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't meet Bi guys because the risk of HIV AIDS is higher in the male gay Bi community than heterosexual. That is not an offensive reason, it is a proven fact. Bi females do not carry the same risk at all.
I don't give a monkey's fuck what other people think. My life, my health, my choice.
There are far too many forum users who want to judge other members for their preferences.
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"We do understand what the OP is saying, there seems to be some circle jerking here.
However, you have to respect people's preferences and move on. We have preferences that would seem hypocritical and probably are.
But so what?
Fab is not an equal opportunities employer lol. "
... agree wholeheartedly ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
Why is it in any way hypocritical? I will happily play with bi men as long as they play straight. I just find man on man a turn off - just as you probably find there are things that turn you off."
The op wasn't saying anything about man on man he was asking why do bi women say no bi men. Meaning a bi women is happy to bi doesn't think it's dirty or wrong for her to be bi but as she stated she would not play with a bi man is that because she thinks bi men are dirty doing something wrong. Like a few have said bi guys automatically get judged as to being high risk but no more so than anyone else on here I'm sure there's bi guys who play bare and I'm sure there's some that play safe just like single women and couples. It seems to to openly accept women being bi but isn't for guys to be bi so yes a lot of hypocritical people in this world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't meet Bi guys because the risk of HIV AIDS is higher in the male gay Bi community than heterosexual. That is not an offensive reason, it is a proven fact. Bi females do not carry the same risk at all.
I don't give a monkey's fuck what other people think. My life, my health, my choice.
There are far too many forum users who want to judge other members for their preferences.
"
And so speaks the voice of reason
Bi guys (and I have no issue btw) are in my experience very premiscuous (spell check)
I've been approached/touched by a bi guy at a club a few times whilst playing with a female friend
Totally unwarranted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
Why is it in any way hypocritical? I will happily play with bi men as long as they play straight. I just find man on man a turn off - just as you probably find there are things that turn you off.
The op wasn't saying anything about man on man he was asking why do bi women say no bi men. Meaning a bi women is happy to bi doesn't think it's dirty or wrong for her to be bi but as she stated she would not play with a bi man is that because she thinks bi men are dirty doing something wrong. Like a few have said bi guys automatically get judged as to being high risk but no more so than anyone else on here I'm sure there's bi guys who play bare and I'm sure there's some that play safe just like single women and couples. It seems to to openly accept women being bi but isn't for guys to be bi so yes a lot of hypocritical people in this world. "
Why on earth would you assume we think they're dirty?! I don't sleep with bi guys together, because it doesn't arouse me, it's nothing other than personal preference! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some Women don't go with Bi men as the straight men won't go with the women who's been with Bi men
Some straight men are dead against Bi men & if a women shows veris/sleeps with Bi men it's an instant put off, thus reducing her chances at getting said straight man!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing that is most bizarre is that anybody believes anything at all based on what people claim to be in terms of age/height/sexuality and weight on here! And sex for that matter |
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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Scenario: You're in a club as a couple, you meet another couple and decide to play.
You get on really well, have a great time, no bi-ness occurs either way.
Exchange fab names, promise to veri.
When you get home you find the guy of couple status is bi.
Oops.
To veri or not to veri?
Block them immediately so they can't veri you?
Die of shame? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Scenario: You're in a club as a couple, you meet another couple and decide to play.
You get on really well, have a great time, no bi-ness occurs either way.
Exchange fab names, promise to veri.
When you get home you find the guy of couple status is bi.
Oops.
To veri or not to veri?
Block them immediately so they can't veri you?
Die of shame? "
Kind of my point. I've never asked and hardly ever ask for age, sexual orientation etc. in real life. |
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"As I've been with bisexual men in the past (love bi night at chams!) I have to tick that when I get checked at the clinic, and if I'm right I think it also means I can't give blood? "
No we can't give blood and I don't see why anyone should be slagged off if they choose not to meet bi men for that reason. |
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
It sounds extremely reasonable to me because I'm of the opinion that people can choose who they like to have sex with and decide not to have sex with anyone for whatever reason they want irrespective of what others think. It's her body, her rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't meet Bi guys because he risk of HIV AIDS is higher in the male gay Bi community than heterosexual. That is not an offensive reason, it is a proven fact. Bi females do not carry the same risk at all.
I don't give a monkey's fuck what other people think. My life, my health, my choice.
There are far too many forum users who want to judge other members for their preferences.
"
I.....ok. There's a lot to unpack here.
Firstly, while HIV/AIDS is unlikely to be a problem in F/F sex, there are still STD's than can be transmitted. It's safer, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't equal 'safe'. The odds of something happened are a lot lower, but not non-existent. That's a myth that needs to be dispelled.
The big one is, this is absolutely true - Guys who play with guys are absolutely a higher risk group across the board. But there's a flip side to that - there's a lot more educational literature aimed at gay and bi guys than there are at straights. And bi/gay guy who doesn't play safe outside of a committed monogamous relationship is a fucking idiot who's probably getting off on the risk (These people are, generally, also complete morons anyway. Don't fuck morons, kids.) but anecdotally I've had the 'whoa, what are you doing, stop, we need a condom' moment far more often with girls than guys.
So, yes, taking as a whole, bi guys are riskier, but bi guys who play responsibly are also much safer than straight guys taken as a whole. It's 'engaging in risky behaviour' that's the risk factor, and there's plenty of that in all sides in this scene. Tell the blood clinic you're a swinger and see how quickly they go 'thanks but no thanks'.
For what it's really worth, 'I don't want to touch the dirty gay, he'll give me the AIDS' is like the dictionary definition of a homophobic attitude. Turns out, statistics isn't actually that simple.
I wish Fab would do some okcupid-style data studies - I'd be fascinated to see if there's a correlation between 'NO GAY/BI GUYS!!!' profiles and age.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only smarties have the answer 
Can you stop saying that please? I know you're dying to shout 'BLUE ONES!' If some fool asks 'which ones?'
*sigh*
Which ones?"
Shyly whispers 'blue ones'.
Apologetic smile. Peeks out from under fringe. |
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"I don't meet Bi guys because he risk of HIV AIDS is higher in the male gay Bi community than heterosexual. That is not an offensive reason, it is a proven fact. Bi females do not carry the same risk at all.
I don't give a monkey's fuck what other people think. My life, my health, my choice.
There are far too many forum users who want to judge other members for their preferences.
I.....ok. There's a lot to unpack here.
Firstly, while HIV/AIDS is unlikely to be a problem in F/F sex, there are still STD's than can be transmitted. It's safer, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't equal 'safe'. The odds of something happened are a lot lower, but not non-existent. That's a myth that needs to be dispelled.
The big one is, this is absolutely true - Guys who play with guys are absolutely a higher risk group across the board. But there's a flip side to that - there's a lot more educational literature aimed at gay and bi guys than there are at straights. And bi/gay guy who doesn't play safe outside of a committed monogamous relationship is a fucking idiot who's probably getting off on the risk (These people are, generally, also complete morons anyway. Don't fuck morons, kids.) but anecdotally I've had the 'whoa, what are you doing, stop, we need a condom' moment far more often with girls than guys.
So, yes, taking as a whole, bi guys are riskier, but bi guys who play responsibly are also much safer than straight guys taken as a whole. It's 'engaging in risky behaviour' that's the risk factor, and there's plenty of that in all sides in this scene. Tell the blood clinic you're a swinger and see how quickly they go 'thanks but no thanks'.
For what it's really worth, 'I don't want to touch the dirty gay, he'll give me the AIDS' is like the dictionary definition of a homophobic attitude. Turns out, statistics isn't actually that simple.
I wish Fab would do some okcupid-style data studies - I'd be fascinated to see if there's a correlation between 'NO GAY/BI GUYS!!!' profiles and age.
"
All of this.
I applaud profiles that state no bi partners as it makes the bigoted easier to spot.
Now have a look at our profile, it states we're not looking for single straight guys. How is that different? Because straight partners are not going to fit into our dynamic. Meaning we want something from them. However assuming a bi guy is a greater health risk because of who they choose to be with when they're not with you is making a judgment that makes me feel icky.
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x |
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Additional.
Our status as bisexual has no impact on our meets unless it does. That's where negotiation comes into play. My girl is also bisexual but in a relationship with a bisexual man. So she must be a higher risk of STI too right? Although my bi status did mean she had an Anal swab at our last screening. You're welcome honey x
Oh yeah we take our sexual health seriously. Which is impressive for a pair of dirty bisexuals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x "
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.) |
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)"
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I've been with bisexual men in the past (love bi night at chams!) I have to tick that when I get checked at the clinic, and if I'm right I think it also means I can't give blood?
No we can't give blood and I don't see why anyone should be slagged off if they choose not to meet bi men for that reason."
I didn't, and wouldn't. Although I do think it's a nonsense, considering they screen at the same time anyway. (As in, the blood banks are a nonsense....) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x "
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?  |
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable? "
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people. |
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Ahh these old chestnuts...
Preferences and prejudices...
And the same old reason we are always getting messages from "straight" guys who are too afraid to be out (which I always wonder, what happens when it comes to the veri?)
(On top of the straight guys who are just morons that can't read profiles...)
Just wish there were better Bi nights at clubs that targeted Bi guy play (as you still feel that a Bi night at a club is aimed at women).
Out and proud the pair of us.
And if you aren't out and proud, we aren't interested.
Flames |
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LOL... And suddenly since posting that message we get 5 messages from straight guys saying they are orally Bi.
Demonstrating the inability to read profiles, and the prejudice of the swinging scene.
lol
Flames |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people. "
You're really funny. My comment wasn't just about bisexuals or entire groups of people but hey if you think everyone that doesn't want to fuck you is a bigot that's cool. Hope it makes you feel better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people.
You're really funny. My comment wasn't just about bisexuals or entire groups of people but hey if you think everyone that doesn't want to fuck you is a bigot that's cool. Hope it makes you feel better. "
So glad you said that! That's exactly how I took your comment to mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people.
You're really funny. My comment wasn't just about bisexuals or entire groups of people but hey if you think everyone that doesn't want to fuck you is a bigot that's cool. Hope it makes you feel better.
So glad you said that! That's exactly how I took your comment to mean."
Thank you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not read every comment but thought I would add my 2p worth.
Ok so I am bi (oral only) and have had a little bit of fun with another male.... but this doesn't mean I am dirty, or full of sti's... I have never fucked a male and have never been fucked, just enjoyed the fun we have had... not saying blokes who fuck blokes are dirty in any way whatsoever.
If this means a female or a couple wont meet us, then that's their choice, we would rather get along with like minded people where we can all be ourselves.
Having bi in our profile maybe gives people the wrong impression, but again that's down to them, if they think I will fuck anything just because I like to play with the same sex (SOMETIMES) then they have a shallow view on people.
Now change the person to the female being bi.... we would have an inbox full of offers every day!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish Fab would do some okcupid-style data studies - I'd be fascinated to see if there's a correlation between 'NO GAY/BI GUYS!!!' profiles and age.
"
Be more interesting to see how it correlates with intelligence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Be more interesting to see how it correlates with intelligence."
True, but I'm not sure that's in the database. But, ultimately, yeah, true. Maybe you could go by spelling or something, but that's a really shit proxy for intelligence.
I bring up age because, well, kids today aren't being raised on the 'its there, don't ask' attitude I was raised with. And they sure as hell ain't being raised with the 'It's a gay! Get him!' attitude my parents were brought up with.
If you wanted to settle the prejudice vs hard data debate.....well, that's the datapoint. |
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people.
You're really funny. My comment wasn't just about bisexuals or entire groups of people but hey if you think everyone that doesn't want to fuck you is a bigot that's cool. Hope it makes you feel better. "
Thank you for missing the point so hard it's like you did it on purpose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
You can't call preference on this one because there is no preference. You can't look at a person and determine if they're bi. You're making a judgment on something that makes you feel uncomfortable x
If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I won't be fucking them. No matter if it's because of who they fucked before, how they treat people, the colour of their eyes, whatever. I couldn't give a flying fuck what the whiney self pitying people say.
If someone doesn't want to fuck me I just accept it. I don't whine about their preference like many bi gay trans black short etc etc people always do on here.
(This comment is a general one, not aimed at you. Just the words in your post.)
You're uncomfortable because you are bigoted and / or uneducated as is your right x
Woah! Bigoted because she won't have sex with someone who makes her feel uncomfortable?
This is how all these arguments go. Woah! Have sex with who ever you want. None of my or anyone's God Damned business.
Make a judgment on a group of people based on bad science, hear say, fear or anything else completely abstract then yep. I call bigot.
Bisexuality is an abstract concept unless you are actively engaging in same gender sex at that time.
There isn't an argument I can see that properly generalises the whole of the bisexual population.
Bisexuals cheat. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have unsafe sex. Some do some don't. Like straight people.
Bisexuals have had loads of partners. Some have and some haven't. Like straight people.
You're really funny. My comment wasn't just about bisexuals or entire groups of people but hey if you think everyone that doesn't want to fuck you is a bigot that's cool. Hope it makes you feel better.
Thank you for missing the point so hard it's like you did it on purpose. "
I really didn't. |
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From an STI risk It shouldn't matter what sexuality someone is and what they have if everyone decided to play safe.
When I see 'no bi guys' I assume this is because the person has unsafe sex and wants to reduce their risk, and for that reason I wouldn't want to play with them.
As for giving blood, anyone on the swinging scene who has had sex with multiple men will almost certainly have played with a bisexual guy, regardless of what their status says.
The only truly rational reason for a couple to state 'no bi guys' is that they don't get off on the idea of male-on-male play. And there's nothing wrong with that, and is just a preference.
A single bi-female stating it, if they will use protection anyway, doesn't make much sense. To me it seems they may just be giving up the chance for great sex (I am biased, but I do think that bisexual people of both sexes tend to be more open-minded with fewer hang-ups, but I would say that lol). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignorance i say! There is such a stigma...truth is they are not trusted....so in essence if you're a bi guy you have some kind of disease!
The reality is most play safely ... plus most so called straight people are bi anyhow lol.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it's really simple.
If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted.
I'm glad the people out themselves on their profile as such too. |
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"I know what you're saying OP, I do think think bisexual men get a pretty rough ride (as it were....). As I've been with bisexual men in the past (love bi night at chams!) I have to tick that when I get checked at the clinic, and if I'm right I think it also means I can't give blood?
"
That's right.
And not only is that our reason, but the fact that so many men are prepared to lie (in our case twice ) is also one of the reasons we're currently not meeting sexually. We can't be arsed to get all heavy with the concept of 'conditional consent' just for the sake of an evening's fun.
Mr ddc |
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"For us it's really simple.
If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted.
I'm glad the people out themselves on their profile as such too. "
All of this x |
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"If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted. "
Well, not really bigoted though, is it?
Bigotry is intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself. Which, on this thread, would technically be you...
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me."
????? Why is it hypocritical????
Just because a woman is bisexuality that is not a prequisite for automatically desiring or wanting to meet bisexuality men. What a really odd thing to say. Each to their own sexual tastes without judging please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
????? Why is it hypocritical????
Just because a woman is bisexuality that is not a prequisite for automatically desiring or wanting to meet bisexuality men. What a really odd thing to say. Each to their own sexual tastes without judging please "
********************************
Bisexuality should read bisexual. .... Bloody spellchecker! |
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"
All of this x
And you, obvs
My mistake. The word I'm looking for is prejudice x "
Probably not.
Prejudice is preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Ours is definitely based on sound reasoning.
You could just stick with "preference" you know. That's what I do when someone says they don't like short, bald, ginger or ugly men.
{shrugs} |
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"
All of this x
And you, obvs
My mistake. The word I'm looking for is prejudice x
Probably not.
Prejudice is preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
Ours is definitely based on sound reasoning.
You could just stick with "preference" you know. That's what I do when someone says they don't like short, bald, ginger or ugly men.
{shrugs}"
Run me through this sound reasoning. I'm thinking that sexuality matters not a jot within the negotiated boundaries of your play. Bisexuality is not being short, or bald, or ginger. It's an abstract concept that has no relevance to them as a whole. Your preference is to make a judgement on a non tangible factor of a persons make up.
That preference is based on irrationality. Maybe lack of education or straight up fear. |
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"
Run me through this sound reasoning."
Again? Did you not read it above?
Mrs ddc has given blood throughout her adult life. That precludes having sex with men who have had sex with men.
"Your preference is to make a judgement on a non tangible factor of a persons make up. "
Nope, our preference is to prioritise what we consider to be important in our lives.
"That preference is based on irrationality. Maybe lack of education or straight up fear. "
Steady, you're bordering on bigotry again...
|
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"
Run me through this sound reasoning.
Again? Did you not read it above?
Mrs ddc has given blood throughout her adult life. That precludes having sex with men who have had sex with men.
Your preference is to make a judgement on a non tangible factor of a persons make up. Nope, our preference is to prioritise what we consider to be important in our lives.
That preference is based on irrationality. Maybe lack of education or straight up fear.
Steady, you're bordering on bigotry again...
"
But of course you know that you've not had sex with men who've had sex with men because they smell differently? Have the bi mark? |
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"
Run me through this sound reasoning.
Again? Did you not read it above?
Mrs ddc has given blood throughout her adult life. That precludes having sex with men who have had sex with men.
Your preference is to make a judgement on a non tangible factor of a persons make up. Nope, our preference is to prioritise what we consider to be important in our lives.
That preference is based on irrationality. Maybe lack of education or straight up fear.
Steady, you're bordering on bigotry again...
"
You have verifications from partners who have verifications from bi men. |
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"
But of course you know that you've not had sex with men who've had sex with men because they smell differently? Have the bi mark? "
Why would you think that? That sounds unbelievably prejudiced. We simply ask them.
{shrugs} |
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"
You have verifications from partners who have verifications from bi men. "
I know, how prejudiced and bigoted are we? We're happy to chat to anyone, even *them*
{mock horror}
(it's actually 'worse' than that if you really want to know) |
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"
But of course you know that you've not had sex with men who've had sex with men because they smell differently? Have the bi mark?
Why would you think that? That sounds unbelievably prejudiced. We simply ask them.
{shrugs}"
"OK Mr Man. You hit everyone of our exacting standards for play. Except here it says that sexually you are attracted to both sexes. That's a shame as this irrelevant detail means that you carry the mark."
{Shrugs} |
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"
But of course you know that you've not had sex with men who've had sex with men because they smell differently? Have the bi mark?
Why would you think that? That sounds unbelievably prejudiced. We simply ask them.
{shrugs}
"OK Mr Man. You hit everyone of our exacting standards for play. Except here it says that sexually you are attracted to both sexes. That's a shame as this irrelevant detail means that you carry the mark."
{Shrugs}"
Except that isn't quite what anyone on this thread said.
Besides, our main criterion for a prospective meet is that it should be fun. I suspect that massive chip you have on your shoulder may mean you'd struggle to get past even that first hurdle... |
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"
But of course you know that you've not had sex with men who've had sex with men because they smell differently? Have the bi mark?
Why would you think that? That sounds unbelievably prejudiced. We simply ask them.
{shrugs}
"OK Mr Man. You hit everyone of our exacting standards for play. Except here it says that sexually you are attracted to both sexes. That's a shame as this irrelevant detail means that you carry the mark."
{Shrugs}
Except that isn't quite what anyone on this thread said.
Besides, our main criterion for a prospective meet is that it should be fun. I suspect that massive chip you have on your shoulder may mean you'd struggle to get past even that first hurdle... "
We do ok x
I'm sorry that our belief in LGBTQ equality has been so troubling to you. Actually scrub that. Sorry not sorry. |
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"
I'm sorry that our belief in LGBTQ equality has been so troubling to you. Actually scrub that. Sorry not sorry. "
No worries. I wasn't troubled.
Nor did I seek to change your prejudices against people who don't share your view.
I had hoped to at least show you that other viewpoints were at least equally valid, though.
Sleep well, I've just realised the time |
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"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
The same way that you're a bisexual man who isn't looking for men....
"
I'm bisexual, but not looking for men off here. Couples with a bi guy yes. If I want any man on man action I fuck off to the sauna or go on another site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A mate of mine was on here a year or so ago. He's bi, I've known him since childhood and he's one of the nicest, most charming people you could meet. On fab forums he got treated like shit no matter what he said. It really knocked his confidence and I felt awful for suggesting this site to him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted.
Well, not really bigoted though, is it?
Bigotry is intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself. Which, on this thread, would technically be you...
Mr ddc"
Not quite.
I won't ever apologise from having the opinion that racism is a bad thing. A racist telling me I'm a bigot for not tolerating their opinion is a worthless comment.
You say you both give blood regularly. I just wonder how often you advise the teams assessing you that you indulge in riskier sexual behaviours? |
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"If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted.
Well, not really bigoted though, is it?
Bigotry is intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself. Which, on this thread, would technically be you...
Mr ddc
Not quite.
I won't ever apologise from having the opinion that racism is a bad thing. A racist telling me I'm a bigot for not tolerating their opinion is a worthless comment. "
Racist? Bisexuality is a race, is it? I thought it was more a spectrum-thingy. Don't you feel that likening the fact that a proportion of people on a swinging site won't fuck you as akin to racism somewhat belittles the day to day struggles that many people have to endure?
"You say you both give blood regularly. I just wonder how often you advise the teams assessing you that you indulge in riskier sexual behaviours?"
Thank you for the compliment that you think my OCD could ignore a simple set of rules without massively over-thinking them. Sadly you are wrong. After our first time, I had a lengthy, Clinton-esque phone call trying to establish exactly what the term "had sex" meant. This involved much batting statistics back and forth from the website of the Terrance Higgins Trust, which I felt better suited the risk-assessment process that first produced their restrictions (our argument being that surely the term 'sex' referred to penetrative sex, since the risk from kissing, oral and non-penetrative play are considered insignificant [in their context])
Following this, we answer all the questions fully, just as we always have. Why wouldn't we?
FYI, the NHS conducted studies for swinging, and we are considered less high-risk than the under-25 bracket, who are far more likely to be having unprotected sex. (Unless you fall into the MSM category, obvs.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you'd play with a guy who ticks every single box for you (whether he's single or in a couple) but you reject that person based on their sexuality, you're homophobic/bigoted.
Well, not really bigoted though, is it?
Bigotry is intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself. Which, on this thread, would technically be you...
Mr ddc
Not quite.
I won't ever apologise from having the opinion that racism is a bad thing. A racist telling me I'm a bigot for not tolerating their opinion is a worthless comment.
Racist? Bisexuality is a race, is it? I thought it was more a spectrum-thingy. Don't you feel that likening the fact that a proportion of people on a swinging site won't fuck you as akin to racism somewhat belittles the day to day struggles that many people have to endure?
You say you both give blood regularly. I just wonder how often you advise the teams assessing you that you indulge in riskier sexual behaviours?
Thank you for the compliment that you think my OCD could ignore a simple set of rules without massively over-thinking them. Sadly you are wrong. After our first time, I had a lengthy, Clinton-esque phone call trying to establish exactly what the term "had sex" meant. This involved much batting statistics back and forth from the website of the Terrance Higgins Trust, which I felt better suited the risk-assessment process that first produced their restrictions (our argument being that surely the term 'sex' referred to penetrative sex, since the risk from kissing, oral and non-penetrative play are considered insignificant [in their context])
Following this, we answer all the questions fully, just as we always have. Why wouldn't we?
FYI, the NHS conducted studies for swinging, and we are considered less high-risk than the under-25 bracket, who are far more likely to be having unprotected sex. (Unless you fall into the MSM category, obvs.)"
Why wouldn't racism and homophobia be equal in terms of my ability to reject a proponent of either? You're not reading what I'm writing very clearly.
Love how you've now redefined the literature and questionnaires of the Blood Donor Service to fit in around what you think is safe behaviour.
Fact is, you've never told a single person in a blood donorship setting you are actively involved in swinging. It's pretty evident from your anonymous calls to an unrelated sexual health service that you have a heightened sense of embarrassment about your activities and in a cringe worthy fashion justify your risks despite them being quite considerable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is it that so many bisexual women state on their profile "No bisexual men"
I realise it's each to their own and freedom of choice etc etc, but it seems very hypocritical to me.
The same way that you're a bisexual man who isn't looking for men....
That's not the same at all, is it. I'm not even going to explain to you why it isn't the same. Stop.
OP: I haven't noticed that many profiles that state this - though I do come across one or two every so often.
This topic comes up a lot and usually ends up in a big forum argument... Come to think of it, EVERYTHING usually ends up in a big forum argument.
"
No it bloody doesn't!
 |
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"
Mr ddc
Why wouldn't racism and homophobia be equal in terms of my ability to reject a proponent of either? You're not reading what I'm writing very clearly. "
Apart from accusing me of racism you mean? I simply started on here to try to see if it was possible to have a sensible discussion in which you could accept that there might be reasons other than homophobia, bigotry (or racism?) that someone might choose not to have sex with you. It would appear not.
"Love how you've now redefined the literature and questionnaires of the Blood Donor Service to fit in around what you think is safe behaviour."
I'm not aware that I have. Care to elaborate?
"Fact is, you've never told a single person in a blood donorship setting you are actively involved in swinging. It's pretty evident from your anonymous calls to an unrelated sexual health service that you have a heightened sense of embarrassment about your activities and in a cringe worthy fashion justify your risks despite them being quite considerable. "
Let me explain. Before each session we are posted the questionnaire. On it is a telephone number (for the Blood Service) which you are encouraged to ring if you have any questions related to the questionnaire. On this number one can speak to the relevant experts, rather than rely on the knowledge of the nurses at the donor sessions. It really is that simple. But if it helps you to believe otherwise, that is your prerogative.
Should you ever require a blood transfusion, feel free to insist that your supply only comes from people you consider 'non-homophobic'. If you can find any that is...
|
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"
Mr ddc
Why wouldn't racism and homophobia be equal in terms of my ability to reject a proponent of either? You're not reading what I'm writing very clearly. Apart from accusing me of racism you mean? I simply started on here to try to see if it was possible to have a sensible discussion in which you could accept that there might be reasons other than homophobia, bigotry (or racism?) that someone might choose not to have sex with you. It would appear not.
Love how you've now redefined the literature and questionnaires of the Blood Donor Service to fit in around what you think is safe behaviour. I'm not aware that I have. Care to elaborate?
Fact is, you've never told a single person in a blood donorship setting you are actively involved in swinging. It's pretty evident from your anonymous calls to an unrelated sexual health service that you have a heightened sense of embarrassment about your activities and in a cringe worthy fashion justify your risks despite them being quite considerable.
Let me explain. Before each session we are posted the questionnaire. On it is a telephone number (for the Blood Service) which you are encouraged to ring if you have any questions related to the questionnaire. On this number one can speak to the relevant experts, rather than rely on the knowledge of the nurses at the donor sessions. It really is that simple. But if it helps you to believe otherwise, that is your prerogative.
Should you ever require a blood transfusion, feel free to insist that your supply only comes from people you consider 'non-homophobic'. If you can find any that is...
"
Everything you write sounds reasonable and intelligent until you pick it apart and it becomes apparent that it's frankly the opposite of those things. You're trying to make the argument personal. It's not personal. It's not about being butt hurt that you won't fuck me (lol) I mean we wouldn't fuck you. You're too old. That's preference.
Turning down a perfectly available and acceptable play partner because of their sexuality. When their sexuality is an irrelevance to you, when everything else fits. That's prejudice.
Simple as.
But you have a right to be prejudice just as people have a right to call you out on it.
I'm more excited to see what glib an patronising smiley you choose to display with your next nonsensical argument.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Mr ddc
Why wouldn't racism and homophobia be equal in terms of my ability to reject a proponent of either? You're not reading what I'm writing very clearly. Apart from accusing me of racism you mean? I simply started on here to try to see if it was possible to have a sensible discussion in which you could accept that there might be reasons other than homophobia, bigotry (or racism?) that someone might choose not to have sex with you. It would appear not.
Love how you've now redefined the literature and questionnaires of the Blood Donor Service to fit in around what you think is safe behaviour. I'm not aware that I have. Care to elaborate?
Fact is, you've never told a single person in a blood donorship setting you are actively involved in swinging. It's pretty evident from your anonymous calls to an unrelated sexual health service that you have a heightened sense of embarrassment about your activities and in a cringe worthy fashion justify your risks despite them being quite considerable.
Let me explain. Before each session we are posted the questionnaire. On it is a telephone number (for the Blood Service) which you are encouraged to ring if you have any questions related to the questionnaire. On this number one can speak to the relevant experts, rather than rely on the knowledge of the nurses at the donor sessions. It really is that simple. But if it helps you to believe otherwise, that is your prerogative.
Should you ever require a blood transfusion, feel free to insist that your supply only comes from people you consider 'non-homophobic'. If you can find any that is...
"
Case in point. Now you're saying I'm accusing you of racism.
Nowhere in my post does it suggest you are a racist nor can any reasonable person think that I was.
I'm glad you cannot delete what you've wrote just so people here can see the type of person you are. |
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"I'm more excited to see what glib an patronising smiley you choose to display with your next nonsensical argument. "
Oh, tbf, that's easy.
On "I wouldn't fuck you anyway":-
On the reason changing from me being homophobic to too old:-
And on you and t'other chap choosing no longer time engage in serious debate, nor admit that you may both have been a tad hasty:-
Glad I could help
Mr ddc |
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"I'm more excited to see what glib an patronising smiley you choose to display with your next nonsensical argument.
Oh, tbf, that's easy.
On "I wouldn't fuck you anyway":-
On the reason changing from me being homophobic to too old:-
And on you and t'other chap choosing no longer time engage in serious debate, nor admit that you may both have been a tad hasty:-
Glad I could help
Mr ddc "
There is no debate here.
There is nothing. Just nothing.
To paraphrase a popular meme. Engaging in debate with you is like playing chess with a pigeon. It knocks over the pieces, craps on the board and then just struts around like it's won.
You're the pigeon.
Just please, offer me something that even comes close to a rational argument. Please. I can't have wasted this much time on someone so undeserving of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm more excited to see what glib an patronising smiley you choose to display with your next nonsensical argument.
Oh, tbf, that's easy.
On "I wouldn't fuck you anyway":-
On the reason changing from me being homophobic to too old:-
And on you and t'other chap choosing no longer time engage in serious debate, nor admit that you may both have been a tad hasty:-
Glad I could help
Mr ddc
There is no debate here.
There is nothing. Just nothing.
To paraphrase a popular meme. Engaging in debate with you is like playing chess with a pigeon. It knocks over the pieces, craps on the board and then just struts around like it's won.
You're the pigeon.
Just please, offer me something that even comes close to a rational argument. Please. I can't have wasted this much time on someone so undeserving of it. "
Owned it entirely. |
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