FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is NSA dating possible?
Is NSA dating possible?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
Its called Tinder! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs
Its called Tinder!"
Ok cool. That didn't exist in my day. But I'm talking hypothetically, cos I'm married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
I completely agree that there's definitely a push for just sex. it does seem like a lot of us want the true FWB (going out for drinks, making an evening of it).
I think NSA dating can completely work! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
Mr and I are always in disagreement about this.. When he met as a single and alone .. he always likes at least a drink and maybe take them for a meal.. however as good as that made it for the meets... many of these ladies saw the attention as more and got quite put out when they realised it wasn't.
For me its a what do you expect when you do that but its just how he likes to do things. But i totally disagree with it. |
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I think if you're going to spend any amount of time with someone and be having "sexual relations" a bond is bound to be formed.
I see a lot of guys wanting regular FBs. I just see danger with that. Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're going to spend any amount of time with someone and be having "sexual relations" a bond is bound to be formed.
I see a lot of guys wanting regular FBs. I just see danger with that. Just my opinion " Mechanical sex is so last year and bordering on Neanderthal in my humble opinion. There has to be some connection? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're going to spend any amount of time with someone and be having "sexual relations" a bond is bound to be formed.
I see a lot of guys wanting regular FBs. I just see danger with that. Just my opinion Mechanical sex is so last year and bordering on Neanderthal in my humble opinion. There has to be some connection? " why is it mechanical to just go straight to it. Best mfm we ever had was a guy in a club we hadnt spoken too... and i couldn't tell you anything about him except he had some tattoos... was great. Passionate.. sexy and dirty..
I thankfully do not need to get personal before getting filthy.. as im normally in the middle at that time and still feel awkward on private meets because of this social stage first. |
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Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
I course there is.
I see plenty of profiles from people who want to be wined and dined, treated like a lady, etc while sex at the end of the evening will only happen if there is a mutual attraction.
Well, I say people, you don't see it quite so often on the male profiles...
There are all sorts on Fab, one only has to learn to distinguish them.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs
I course there is.
I see plenty of profiles from people who want to be wined and dined, treated like a lady, etc while sex at the end of the evening will only happen if there is a mutual attraction.
Well, I say people, you don't see it quite so often on the male profiles...
There are all sorts on Fab, one only has to learn to distinguish them.
Mr ddc"
I know what you're referring to. They always deny it though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues. "
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can work for some. I was seeing someone who would cook for me at his or we would go for a drink before sex.
It worked because both of us knew it wasn't going anywhere romantic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're going to spend any amount of time with someone and be having "sexual relations" a bond is bound to be formed.
I see a lot of guys wanting regular FBs. I just see danger with that. Just my opinion Mechanical sex is so last year and bordering on Neanderthal in my humble opinion. There has to be some connection? why is it mechanical to just go straight to it. Best mfm we ever had was a guy in a club we hadnt spoken too... and i couldn't tell you anything about him except he had some tattoos... was great. Passionate.. sexy and dirty..
I thankfully do not need to get personal before getting filthy.. as im normally in the middle at that time and still feel awkward on private meets because of this social stage first. " I did say in my opinion obviously yours differs? |
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence. "
You can report this. Should report this. Fab is free. There are other sites for escorts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence. "
Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? |
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By *aveywMan
over a year ago
tramore |
I meet two couples fairly regularly. They couldn't be more different. One couple are literally just sex. Hotel room and we fuck for a couple of hours. Other couple I have spent weekends with and-weekends away with. We are definitely more like friends than fuck buddies. And it works perfectly with both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
No, from personal experience I would say it's not possible as after a certain time one or the other person involved would eventually want more, and that would impact on the NSA side of things, making the arrangement unworkable
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence.
Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? " Yes, latest one on Sunday. I contacted the couple on here sent face picture. Exchanged kik and e mail details last email asked for £80 for 45 minutes and £100 for the hour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I meet two couples fairly regularly. They couldn't be more different. One couple are literally just sex. Hotel room and we fuck for a couple of hours. Other couple I have spent weekends with and-weekends away with. We are definitely more like friends than fuck buddies. And it works perfectly with both. "
Its different in the context of a trio. Like you, we've had close friendships in that context, and jealously never comes into, the NSA rule is never broken. But I think that's because it's a trio and not a duo. Ultimately my lovers can't get possessive because ultimately I'm married and therefore not available. The same way I cannot get upset if they see someone else, because being married I am not able to give them more anyway. But it might be more difficult for 2 singles. If both are single the question of more is always there. |
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Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? Yes, latest one on Sunday. I contacted the couple on here sent face picture. Exchanged kik and e mail details last email asked for £80 for 45 minutes and £100 for the hour."
Please still report them.
Hopefully Ruggers will be along to confirm it, but although they may not act on unsubstantiated claims, I suspect they do if there are a number of reports from different people and a pattern emerges. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it used to be normal to date loads of guys at once but then dwindle it down to one, not sure why that stopped being normal.
when i was younger i dated loads of guys at once, it wasn't considered normal then either but i didn't care. i was young and liked having a busy life. |
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Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs
Of course there is.
I see plenty of profiles from people who want to be wined and dined, treated like a lady, etc while sex at the end of the evening will only happen if there is a mutual attraction.
Well, I say people, you don't see it quite so often on the male profiles...
There are all sorts on Fab, one only has to learn to distinguish them.
Mr ddc
I know what you're referring to. They always deny it though!"
I don't know whether I've grown more cynical, or they've grown more subtle.
Or maybe I'm approaching more profiles from forum posts than searches at the mo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence.
Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? Yes, latest one on Sunday. I contacted the couple on here sent face picture. Exchanged kik and e mail details last email asked for £80 for 45 minutes and £100 for the hour."
Oh my word!!
When we meet for a social I always insist of buying a round of drinks.
This is disgusting as some on here are vulnerable & likely to give in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it used to be normal to date loads of guys at once but then dwindle it down to one, not sure why that stopped being normal.
when i was younger i dated loads of guys at once, it wasn't considered normal then either but i didn't care. i was young and liked having a busy life."
Yes I used to enjoy multiple dating when I was younger. Men did get pissed if though, when they discovered they weren't the only ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be ok with an exclusive FB. It would be nice to find someone who I can connect with, not just sexually, like a kind of semi-occasional-sometimes girlfriend. As already mentioned, it would be nice to arrange to meet, get dressed up and go make a nice evening of it before getting back for some filthy sexy fun, not just a walk in, wham bam and leave kind of thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea definitely
I have divorced friends on e harmony and match and many if the first opening lines they receive are "wow, great tits", " would love to fuck that arse" and "so what's your favourite position".
Hardly conducive to a serious relationship is it?
I suspect that these sites are full of married guys pretending to be single, or newly divorced guys who simply wish to make up for lost time and fuck their way around the site.
It is a reflection on the way we have moved onto more casual relationshipa in general as opposed to getting too involved too quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would be ok with an exclusive FB. It would be nice to find someone who I can connect with, not just sexually, like a kind of semi-occasional-sometimes girlfriend. As already mentioned, it would be nice to arrange to meet, get dressed up and go make a nice evening of it before getting back for some filthy sexy fun, not just a walk in, wham bam and leave kind of thing."
But you say exclusive FB. And that's the whole problem. Is it possible to have an occasional gf, FB, FWB or whatever the word is, without the exclusivity. I.e. Have a date one night with someone including sex, but the following week have date and sex with someone else? Or does this sort of thing initiate jealously? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may be possible, but it's unlikely in our opinion. From people we know who've tried it hasn't worked out. I think for it to work the individuals involved would have to have a unique personality/mindset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence.
Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? Yes, latest one on Sunday. I contacted the couple on here sent face picture. Exchanged kik and e mail details last email asked for £80 for 45 minutes and £100 for the hour.
Oh my word!!
When we meet for a social I always insist of buying a round of drinks.
This is disgusting as some on here are vulnerable & likely to give in"
I have met a guy who met a lady asking for £30 babysitting cost. She seems to have done the rounds I believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be ok with an exclusive FB. It would be nice to find someone who I can connect with, not just sexually, like a kind of semi-occasional-sometimes girlfriend. As already mentioned, it would be nice to arrange to meet, get dressed up and go make a nice evening of it before getting back for some filthy sexy fun, not just a walk in, wham bam and leave kind of thing."
It seems that what you are looking for is actual dating rather than NSA meets every now and again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on and off the site for a year, and have always looked for (and got, eventually) repeat meets/FB/FWB situations. I make a point of needing to have more than one at any time to diminish the "relationship" feelings, and would never ask for exclusivity from them either...any FWB have always known about the existence of others. Twice I've had to stop seeing guys this way though...one wanted "more" from me, and another I was hankering after more from him. I'm not averse to a relationship if it transpired that way, but 1. being a single mum I'm *very* fussy about the type of person I'd let into my life properly, and 2. as long as everyone's honest and communicates it's not an issue in my opinion. If the dynamic changes and it no longer works for one of you then just move on, no need for drama.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And FWIW I came off traditional dating sites because of the exclusivity expectation straight away. Nowadays I find that too much pressure too early on. I like everyone to try before they buy!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I date without the exclusivity.
I have multiple committed (and semi-committed) partners.
Some people just aren't wired for monogamy."
I'd say this pretty much sums me up. Though I don't have multiple partners at the moment just two, one that I see regularly and one not as much.
I love the whole "date" experience and having nights out doing friend things, but I like the benefits too.
I'm perfectly happy with NSA dating, but I do like there to be a connection on a friend level. It makes the benefits so much more beneficial! |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
I look at people in two categories - friends and sex partners.
My view is that sex and friendship can go hand in hand. I have male friends who I have known for years and are good friends but at some point in time I've had sex with each of them. Sometimes if they're in town they'll pop over, even stay and yes, we'll also have sex but have a lot to talk about both before and after sex. I could easily meet any of them in a social gathering and we could be chatting away like best friends because, well, we're good friends. My relationship with these blokes is pure friendship and we happen to have sex from time to time. Nothing wrong with that in my humble opinion.
I also enjoy sex with multiple partners who I'll meet for sex and we can have a friendly banter (even go out for a drink etc) and that's it. Nothing wrong with that. I won't consider them friends as such we enjoy sex. Some I've met several times some just once and that's it. Whether I go out for a drink first or meet straight for sex depends on my mood I guess.
In the ideal world I'd love an understanding life partner who would enjoy a promiscuous woman by his side. I can never be physically monogamous to one man (but emotionally can be one man's woman). Most don't understand this and get jealous very easily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence. "
That's really crap. Shame you can't get them asking on pm on site so you can report them.
When I say free prostitute I don't mean people should pay via drinks etc, I just mean it's an attitude thing. Expecting a free 'service' and being disrespectful about it rather than mutual respectful fun. Hope that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn't NSA dating what most women seem to want to this site?"
I expect a lot of women do, but don't know about most. I would want that if I were single. Though the question I would have in that situation would be is it easier to achieve NSA dating via a dating site, or is a swinging site the better option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't NSA dating what most women seem to want to this site?
I expect a lot of women do, but don't know about most. I would want that if I were single. Though the question I would have in that situation would be is it easier to achieve NSA dating via a dating site, or is a swinging site the better option."
men are more honest on here than dating sites. i'd say here is better, only just though coz most guys are honest that they only want a fuck buddy (basically regular booty calls).
on dating sites guys will date you then go quiet once you've fucked them. or maybe i'm a shit fuck, idk? |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
Also I think a lot of people are actually craving affection or intimacy. They use sex and sites like this as a gateway to that. However most don't even admit to themselves, let alone to other people.
Right away there's an issue of managing expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't NSA dating what most women seem to want to this site?"
I suspect that there are different levels of NSA, and if there aren't then people will just move the goalposts to make it so...
what I mean is that something may have started out with the intention of being totally NSA but over time, one or the other person would prefer something a little bit more meaningful...its human nature...we always want what we cant have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at people in two categories - friends and sex partners.
My view is that sex and friendship can go hand in hand. I have male friends who I have known for years and are good friends but at some point in time I've had sex with each of them. Sometimes if they're in town they'll pop over, even stay and yes, we'll also have sex but have a lot to talk about both before and after sex. I could easily meet any of them in a social gathering and we could be chatting away like best friends because, well, we're good friends. My relationship with these blokes is pure friendship and we happen to have sex from time to time. Nothing wrong with that in my humble opinion.
I also enjoy sex with multiple partners who I'll meet for sex and we can have a friendly banter (even go out for a drink etc) and that's it. Nothing wrong with that. I won't consider them friends as such we enjoy sex. Some I've met several times some just once and that's it. Whether I go out for a drink first or meet straight for sex depends on my mood I guess.
In the ideal world I'd love an understanding life partner who would enjoy a promiscuous woman by his side. I can never be physically monogamous to one man (but emotionally can be one man's woman). Most don't understand this and get jealous very easily."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"NSA dating is the new swinging."
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
Yes they do exist but there called friends with benefits when they become a ongoing thing .
For me sex and friendship go hand in hand in fact I'd go as far as to say the high from sex is higher if there is some form of emotional connection for me involved .if that is the case why would a settle for anything less thank FWB in all my sexual activities .
After all if a social meet where a drink is shared conversation is in enjoyed maybe even a light meal can work.
why cant a no strings attached date I.E meet up have a drink together maybe a light meal then retire somewhere private and fuck each others brains out not work but like I said if it’s a reoccurring arrangement between two people it then becomes a FWB arrangement
The thing about dating your play partner that must be understood by both parties is that you will only ever be together with in the dynamic you have created together to serve your sexual needs .
By that I mean both parties have to be content with what they have together and not fixate on what they don’t have together and never will or can have together .
Yes feeling will develop during long term arrangements that ok as long as both parties take responsibility for how they feel and never let such feeling interfere with the dynamic or there life or there partners life with in the dynamics and both there life's away from the dynamic .
You need people who can care unconditionally who also have a grip on who they are and a grip on there own emotional wellbeing if you can find such people then in my opinion a fwb dynamic far out strips random sex with strangers in what it gives those involved .
when it comes to sex as in my experience emotional investment in ones lovers delivers from greater sexual fulfilment and pleasure than sex with out any such emotional investment.
As I said earlier a higher high from the sex i.
But like I said you need the type of people who are emotional strong self-assured and can also compartmentalise certain aspects of there life .
trust me such people do exist I know because I am enjoying a open FWB dynamic with three such magnificent sexy self aware people as I type this . |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"NSA dating is the new swinging.
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together. "
Quite true but it varies I think. Some people are great to have as friends and sex only adds value and fun. Others are great to fuck but once they open their mouths, things start going down the drain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"NSA dating is the new swinging.
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together.
Quite true but it varies I think. Some people are great to have as friends and sex only adds value and fun. Others are great to fuck but once they open their mouths, things start going down the drain. "
Ha!! Agreed!! Although on an intimate meet level I couldn't do anything past a social then. I'm way less fussy in clubs, I think partly because you get the chemistry (or not!!) immediately, and the neutral ground setting means I know I'm "safe".xx |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"NSA dating is the new swinging.
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together.
Quite true but it varies I think. Some people are great to have as friends and sex only adds value and fun. Others are great to fuck but once they open their mouths, things start going down the drain.
Ha!! Agreed!! Although on an intimate meet level I couldn't do anything past a social then. I'm way less fussy in clubs, I think partly because you get the chemistry (or not!!) immediately, and the neutral ground setting means I know I'm "safe".xx"
Haha ! I don't go much to clubs now but do go to private parties. I'll fuck a fair few in that setting that otherwise might not be my cuppa (mainly based on what their intellect is, not looks). The sex is great the convo is terrible and in general, I like convo with my sex partners |
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"It was a thread that had just closed that spurred me to put this thought to the forum.
There are the dating sites, and my experience of those 15 years ago, was that exclusivity was expected when dating.
Whereas on Fab, I've noticed a push for just sex. Going out for a few drinks, making an evening of it, can be frowned upon on a sex /swinging site.
Is there a role for something in between? Dating without the exclusivity? What I call NSA dating. Or does having the best of both worlds just not work?
Mrs "
I think it can work. It's just that some people catch feelings or get jealous. I think you'd need to be honest with yourself about whether you can handle it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"NSA dating is the new swinging.
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together.
Quite true but it varies I think. Some people are great to have as friends and sex only adds value and fun. Others are great to fuck but once they open their mouths, things start going down the drain.
Ha!! Agreed!! Although on an intimate meet level I couldn't do anything past a social then. I'm way less fussy in clubs, I think partly because you get the chemistry (or not!!) immediately, and the neutral ground setting means I know I'm "safe".xx
Haha ! I don't go much to clubs now but do go to private parties. I'll fuck a fair few in that setting that otherwise might not be my cuppa (mainly based on what their intellect is, not looks). The sex is great the convo is terrible and in general, I like convo with my sex partners "
100% agree!xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been seeing the same guy since February around once a.month and the sex has gotten better every time. We also get on very well.
However...he is in a long term relationship. I am not prepared to just see HIM though. I post social meets up fairly regularly when I travel through my work.
I expect he may well feel the same |
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"I have been seeing the same guy since February around once a.month and the sex has gotten better every time. We also get on very well.
However...he is in a long term relationship. I am not prepared to just see HIM though. I post social meets up fairly regularly when I travel through my work.
I expect he may well feel the same"
Sounds like you got the right idea. |
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"NSA dating is the new swinging.
See this always confuses me. Regardless of who I'm meeting (men, women, couples) I like to have that basis in friendship. I personally find everyone is more relaxed and the sex gets better as you get to know what makes each other tick in that dynamic. I fully appreciate not everyone wants that and everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit.... but swinging was traditionally exactly that....couples who are friends, and also have sex together.
Quite true but it varies I think. Some people are great to have as friends and sex only adds value and fun. Others are great to fuck but once they open their mouths, things start going down the drain. "
Yes, I think it depends on the dynamic between two people, not the repetition or whether or not you have a drink or a meal together. With some people I can be deeply involved before we even meet and with others it doesn't matter how much I meet them, nothing further will develop. They each have their relative benefits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're another couple who come from a friends with benefits angle. It seems from our experience most swingers are into sex on demand, using others as sex toys. We prefer a more date-like approach that goes the extra mile to flirt seduce and connect with our playmates. But this seems to be more popular with singles than couples, who, in our view, often seem to sacrifice a higher quality erotic experience either out of fear of it or because they're too busy. We feel there's a space between mechanical sex with strangers and polygamy... somewhere more adventurous and "spiritual" (i.e affectionate and connecting) but still with good boundaries. To be fair this probably isn't NSA... more like FSA (friendly strings attached)... so it's probably something of a niche for those of us willing to give it a try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree..me and a guy off here seen each other nearly every day for a few weeks..buying me flowers etc telling me he was falling in love with me..then last week said he didn't want to see me anymore..deleated his account so I'm assuming a gf or something..not impressed as I genuinely liked him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fwb was lovely...flowers,chocs, surprise pressies, holiday together in Jersey.. Thenwhen we met with another guy for mmf he became jealous and didn't want me to play..it transpired he was falling in love and didn't want to share me...so - as they say in dragons den - I'm out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're another couple who come from a friends with benefits angle. It seems from our experience most swingers are into sex on demand, using others as sex toys. We prefer a more date-like approach that goes the extra mile to flirt seduce and connect with our playmates. But this seems to be more popular with singles than couples, who, in our view, often seem to sacrifice a higher quality erotic experience either out of fear of it or because they're too busy. We feel there's a space between mechanical sex with strangers and polygamy... somewhere more adventurous and "spiritual" (i.e affectionate and connecting) but still with good boundaries. To be fair this probably isn't NSA... more like FSA (friendly strings attached)... so it's probably something of a niche for those of us willing to give it a try "
That sounds great, we've done something similar and would love to again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That sounds great, we've done something similar and would love to again. "
You lucky things We're still quite new to the scene so it's more of a mission statement than anything we've actually done But it's good to find others like us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That sounds great, we've done something similar and would love to again.
You lucky things We're still quite new to the scene so it's more of a mission statement than anything we've actually done But it's good to find others like us "
There is the risk of being friend zoned |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"That sounds great, we've done something similar and would love to again.
You lucky things We're still quite new to the scene so it's more of a mission statement than anything we've actually done But it's good to find others like us
There is the risk of being friend zoned "
Being friend zoned by me is a good place to be as it means I want to fuck you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think many people see fb as like a free prostitute situation. Not all..
FWB would be more what you describe.
Good communication can solve any issues.
Scarlet please don't get me going on the payment issue. For a single chap seeking friendship and great recreational sex the payment thing is now becoming an issue. Three times in a week I have, after exchanging e mails and giving out private contact details been told of the fees. Its not just singletons it couples. The fee issue has only come up in private correspondence so I cannot report to admin. I have just blocked and moved but its becoming a quite regular occurrence.
Am I getting this right? People are asking for payment from you?? Yes, latest one on Sunday. I contacted the couple on here sent face picture. Exchanged kik and e mail details last email asked for £80 for 45 minutes and £100 for the hour.
Oh my word!!
When we meet for a social I always insist of buying a round of drinks.
This is disgusting as some on here are vulnerable & likely to give in" I am vulnerable ..............!!! |
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"My fwb was lovely...flowers,chocs, surprise pressies, holiday together in Jersey.. Thenwhen we met with another guy for mmf he became jealous and didn't want me to play..it transpired he was falling in love and didn't want to share me...so - as they say in dragons den - I'm out. "
But isn't that always the risk when the women fall into the out-dated stereotype of being bought gifts, dinners and holidays? It may not even be jealousy, but a sense of entitlement for payment rendered. Isn't it far safer just to consider yourselves two adults both seeking sex and companionship for its own sake?
Mr ddc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's posts on this thread and seeing the many different ways people approach this issue. Many well-written and thought-provoking posts.
To the OP, I would like to point out that for many millennials non-exclusivity is actually the default when dating, unless arranged/discussed otherwise. Just the other day I saw a local lad's status update saying he got more sex meets off regular dating sites than off fabs Also I think more and more people these days are experimenting with alternatives to the couple-happy-ever-after script! Be it FBs, FsWB, sexual friendships, play partners, swinging even. The latest trend in poly-style nonmonogamy is where people are not looking to pair-bond at all, but rather looking to build multiple relationships while retaining most/all of their independence (AKA solopoly - this can sometimes look indistinguishable from single status). |
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"That sounds great, we've done something similar and would love to again.
You lucky things We're still quite new to the scene so it's more of a mission statement than anything we've actually done But it's good to find others like us
There is the risk of being friend zoned "
I friend zone people all the time, some of whom I would still take a tumble with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fwb was lovely...flowers,chocs, surprise pressies, holiday together in Jersey.. Thenwhen we met with another guy for mmf he became jealous and didn't want me to play..it transpired he was falling in love and didn't want to share me...so - as they say in dragons den - I'm out.
But isn't that always the risk when the women fall into the out-dated stereotype of being bought gifts, dinners and holidays? It may not even be jealousy, but a sense of entitlement for payment rendered. Isn't it far safer just to consider yourselves two adults both seeking sex and companionship for its own sake?
Mr ddc
"
Good point... |
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