FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How to introduce a girl to swinging?
How to introduce a girl to swinging?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *k1986 OP Man
over a year ago
local |
Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Before you ask her the question consider if you would be willing to give it up for her if it wasn't her thing? You need to decide what outcomes your happy with before you approach her with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I guess it's about how far down the road you are in this relationship.
There is no way to know if it will scare her off.
So best to do it sooner rather than later.
First of all start by asking her about her fantasies, a bit like you say I say.
She may want sex on a beach or somewhere outdoors. (hey she may want a gangbang) but then you can share more.
We did this together. My wife told me hers and I told her mine and we just kept going until we knew we matched.
I think I started with a sexy secretary fantasy. Then a fantasy about me and 4 women I knew. The 4 women fantasy was naughty but safe as I did not know them anymore and had never been with any of them sexually so it was not like I could just call and arrange that fantasy to be fulfilled.
We did various role-playing.
Some people start with sexy celebs they would like to fuck as it feels less personal.
But I knew she was bi from day one so that helped as no matter how good you are at role-playing you can't ever quite match the touch and feel of the opposite gender.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago
South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire |
Take her to Cap d' agde next year which is a nudist and swinging destination. When you are there it could open other avenues in the clubs in the evenings... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off? "
The older I get the more I realise that its really important to be completely honest at the start of any relationship about how you hope things will go. So I recommend just sitting down and both of you just talking about how you see the future in every respect.
Good luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off?
The older I get the more I realise that its really important to be completely honest at the start of any relationship about how you hope things will go. So I recommend just sitting down and both of you just talking about how you see the future in every respect.
Good luck "
As a single female, that would have scared me off.... that's why we are glad we met on here. Both of us were on the fish site and we sometimes wonder if we had met on there how we would have got the conversationalist n around to swinging. To be hi nest though, you should get a feel for if a person is on the same wavelength. Don't forget though, op, that swinging is really alien to most people, don't believe the hype here that its normal and accepted, it usually isn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off?
The older I get the more I realise that its really important to be completely honest at the start of any relationship about how you hope things will go. So I recommend just sitting down and both of you just talking about how you see the future in every respect.
Good luck
As a single female, that would have scared me off.... that's why we are glad we met on here. Both of us were on the fish site and we sometimes wonder if we had met on there how we would have got the conversationalist n around to swinging. To be hi nest though, you should get a feel for if a person is on the same wavelength. Don't forget though, op, that swinging is really alien to most people, don't believe the hype here that its normal and accepted, it usually isn't. "
I don't mean sit down and say baldly "I want us to swing or it a all off" . I mean that you need, early on in a relationship to establish the way you want it to go, honestly and openly state that you enjoy being openly sexual (for instance), that world travel is a goal, you want children, you can't live anywhere but the country...that sort of thing. I see too many people who went into relationships hoping to either change their partner or change themselves embittered.
Open discussion enables compromise in my opinion |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Before you ask her the question consider if you would be willing to give it up for her if it wasn't her thing? You need to decide what outcomes your happy with before you approach her with it. "
this  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is a really interesting post guy's. Does it come down to stick or twist then?! "
Not in my opinion no. That's why I'm such an advocate of frank discussion early on in a relationship, it allows for compromise and opens up the way for different ways of achieving relationship goals.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off? "
How sad.
You've been on few dates, and instead of getting to know each other, you're already looking to swing.
I met my other half here and we're taking time out to learn about us...but hey, we're all different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so Iv been on a few date with a girl Iv met online and things have gone good so far.. But I haven't mentioned I'm into swinging or anything but have said about going to nudist beaches and clubs she was suprised but not shocked and said she has only been topless on holiday. So how do I tell or show her about this part of my life without scaring her off?
The older I get the more I realise that its really important to be completely honest at the start of any relationship about how you hope things will go. So I recommend just sitting down and both of you just talking about how you see the future in every respect.
Good luck
As a single female, that would have scared me off.... that's why we are glad we met on here. Both of us were on the fish site and we sometimes wonder if we had met on there how we would have got the conversationalist n around to swinging. To be hi nest though, you should get a feel for if a person is on the same wavelength. Don't forget though, op, that swinging is really alien to most people, don't believe the hype here that its normal and accepted, it usually isn't. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why not just bring it up in the conversation that you used to work with some people who were swingers and gusts her reaction from that.
I think you would very soon know which side she was on, but ask yourself will you really be happy with a girl who is not at all interested in swinging ?
It's make you're mind up time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My advice would be:
If swinging is really important to you, and a deal breaker if they won't, then in my opinion having that discussion early on is important, because it's pointless having that discussion waaaay down the line to ultimately decide you won't continue in the relationship because they won't swing, and causing a lot of hurt.
And your not stringing her along under the pretence you want a monogomous relationship.....
If swimging is not that important, then don't bother with the conversation until such a time as you are more than comfortable and confident in the relationship to be honest about it without it having a detrimental effect.
If they are interested, great, if not, no loss as its not that important to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
How sad.
You've been on few dates, and instead of getting to know each other, you're already looking to swing.
I met my other half here and we're taking time out to learn about us...but hey, we're all different."
I would not say its sad if anything it's refreshing to have someone looking to be honest early on in a relationship. It shows a willingness to want to share more intimate parts of his life.
We discussed 3somes within weeks of meeting. We had the opportunity for a 3some within months.
It was another 5 or 6 years before we decided to do anything serious about it.
But at least we both knew it was a possibility.
If it is not discussed early on, then when?
Meeting someone from fab in a way bypasses that question of when to bring it up as a topic for discussion.
Opening your secret lives to each other is a great sign of love and affection.
I'd never share my fantasies and dreams with someone unless I had a desire for more than just some fun.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *k1986 OP Man
over a year ago
local |
Ok so after a good night out and a few drinks I got on to the subject of fantasies and swinging. To find out she has played with a girl before but nothing more than teasing and flirting. Didn't mention fab as of yet but she knows I like to play about and have had group fun and that I'm bi 
So far everything's going good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
