FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Social or straight in to fun
Social or straight in to fun
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We like to meet people for a social before we have the sexy fun. A drink or 2 a pub or at there's a a chat a laugh. If everyone felt right then the fun could start we'd even be happy with just a social for the first meet. But see a lot of profiles and get a lot of messages about meeting for fun straight away. I no that we're all on here for fun but we feel much more comfortable once we've got to know people a little first and fined that a good personality is key. How many others like a bit of a social first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes have to agree a social is always the best option.
Nice to have a chat see if the chemistry is there etc..then you know if they are for you and have an idea that the fun will follow ..
J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social first definitely. If I meet someone for a social I'm pretty sure I want to play with them though. Just want to check that we get on in person and they're not a mad axeman.
Although i suppose they could always leave their axe at home on the first meet...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Social first definitely. If I meet someone for a social I'm pretty sure I want to play with them though. Just want to check that we get on in person and they're not a mad axeman.
Although i suppose they could always leave their axe at home on the first meet... "
Same as us if we arrange a meet then it's because we like the idea of playing with them but we feel much more relaxed if the people we meet can hold a conversation and have a good personality. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Definitely a social initially as I'd only know for sure the "spark" will be there once I've met them in person
Jane x"
Thats what we say. We've meet some very good looking people of here but there just hasn't been a spark as the attitude wasn't right. But then we've been at clubs and been approached by people we didn't think we're for us and ended up having a right laugh and having some very sexy fun after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely a social initially as I'd only know for sure the "spark" will be there once I've met them in person
Jane x
Thats what we say. We've meet some very good looking people of here but there just hasn't been a spark as the attitude wasn't right. But then we've been at clubs and been approached by people we didn't think we're for us and ended up having a right laugh and having some very sexy fun after. "
I don't mean by just looks alone infact far from it....I go for the overall person x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Definitely a social initially as I'd only know for sure the "spark" will be there once I've met them in person
Jane x
Thats what we say. We've meet some very good looking people of here but there just hasn't been a spark as the attitude wasn't right. But then we've been at clubs and been approached by people we didn't think we're for us and ended up having a right laugh and having some very sexy fun after.
I don't mean by just looks alone infact far from it....I go for the overall person x"
That's why we like socials or go to clubs more than meeting off here. We've always said a good personality is key. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always insist on a social first, that way I know if we actually get along  "
Totally at least we're not the only ones then. We we're starting to think we were strange for wanting a social and not jumping straight into sex lol |
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Perhaps I am strange then? To me a social which seems inevitably to end up in conversations about kids, pets, vehicles and aged parents does not inspire me to play. We have tried to keep social meet chat to flirting and fun, but other couples want to chat about life and it's woes. For me it is a total turn off and even if we do play afterwards it is flat and dull for me.
Short amount of flirting before play is great, or straight to play, but day to day chatter..... no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps I am strange then? To me a social which seems inevitably to end up in conversations about kids, pets, vehicles and aged parents does not inspire me to play. We have tried to keep social meet chat to flirting and fun, but other couples want to chat about life and it's woes. For me it is a total turn off and even if we do play afterwards it is flat and dull for me.
Short amount of flirting before play is great, or straight to play, but day to day chatter..... no thanks"
Turn up say hi go straight to the bedroom play and leave we make me feel so cheap not saying that you've got to spend hrs talking about world but a bit of a social ice breaker is what suits us. If we were all the same then the world would be a boring place |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We always meet in public first. We do like to check that no one is concealing an axe or a bunny on the boil."
We can't accommodate but if we could we couldnt just invite complete strangers into our home without meeting them in public first. But so many seem to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social only for us first. We have on occasion played after the social on the same day but prefer not to. Clubs are good though as have social and play in one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've done both in the past, and I'd say unless meeting in a club a social is best. Not saying we can't meet in a pub, have a chat flirt and laugh then move on to fun, but by meeting first, it gives both the chance to say thanks but no thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Social only for us first. We have on occasion played after the social on the same day but prefer not to. Clubs are good though as have social and play in one "
We do tend to do more meets and play at clubs as its everything roles into one and the atmosphere is right. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't do socials, but then I only meet in clubs so I can socialise there before deciding to take things further and find a play room."
That's why we do tend to go to clubs more its everything all in one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps I am strange then? To me a social which seems inevitably to end up in conversations about kids, pets, vehicles and aged parents does not inspire me to play. We have tried to keep social meet chat to flirting and fun, but other couples want to chat about life and it's woes. For me it is a total turn off and even if we do play afterwards it is flat and dull for me.
Short amount of flirting before play is great, or straight to play, but day to day chatter..... no thanks"
It's not strange at all, if it works for you that's cool. We know of plenty of people who make it work like that.
We prefer a social meet first as we need to see if there's a spark, and make sure they're not psychos. Anytime we've got straight into it's been disastrous.
But we do see what you mean about the inane chatter, but that's rarely happened to us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Historically no social. These days I'm a regular social queen. More so due to time constraints but I admit to sometimes because I'm not sure if I fancy them 
I always seem to have more fun when I skip the social. |
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"We like to meet people for a social before we have the sexy fun. A drink or 2 a pub or at there's a a chat a laugh. If everyone felt right then the fun could start we'd even be happy with just a social for the first meet. But see a lot of profiles and get a lot of messages about meeting for fun straight away. I no that we're all on here for fun but we feel much more comfortable once we've got to know people a little first and fined that a good personality is key. How many others like a bit of a social first? "
Definitely social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never had a social and don't see that it's necessary. I rarely get time to meet so if I'm meeting i make damn sure it's for more than a drink. I guess I'm just really lucky in that i can tell from messaging etc that there's an attraction. I've not been wrong in 5 years, I've never had a no show, I've never met anyone who didn't look like i expected, I've never had someone turn psycho on me, and there's always been the level of connection that we had through messaging, and I've never had an issue with us not getting on like we did via messaging, so i trust my own judgement implicitly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We won't entertain a social only meet , but nor do we guarantee play on a first meet .
If there's no connection , there's no play , end of .
But if we arrange to meet and there's no option to play on that meet ( assuming we click ) , we won't meet . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had a social and don't see that it's necessary. I rarely get time to meet so if I'm meeting i make damn sure it's for more than a drink. I guess I'm just really lucky in that i can tell from messaging etc that there's an attraction. I've not been wrong in 5 years, I've never had a no show, I've never met anyone who didn't look like i expected, I've never had someone turn psycho on me, and there's always been the level of connection that we had through messaging, and I've never had an issue with us not getting on like we did via messaging, so i trust my own judgement implicitly. "
This is a fib. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had a social and don't see that it's necessary. I rarely get time to meet so if I'm meeting i make damn sure it's for more than a drink. I guess I'm just really lucky in that i can tell from messaging etc that there's an attraction. I've not been wrong in 5 years, I've never had a no show, I've never met anyone who didn't look like i expected, I've never had someone turn psycho on me, and there's always been the level of connection that we had through messaging, and I've never had an issue with us not getting on like we did via messaging, so i trust my own judgement implicitly.
This is a fib."
Yeah. ...i should have had a social with you first  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social first for me too. Gives you opportunity to make sure there is chemistry. Also interesting to see how they behave after ....my recent one signed his own fate because of his behaviour after  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps I am strange then? To me a social which seems inevitably to end up in conversations about kids, pets, vehicles and aged parents does not inspire me to play. We have tried to keep social meet chat to flirting and fun, but other couples want to chat about life and it's woes. For me it is a total turn off and even if we do play afterwards it is flat and dull for me.
Short amount of flirting before play is great, or straight to play, but day to day chatter..... no thanks"
I don't like inane chit chat either. Too much chat before a meet and it puts me off and I won't meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We won't entertain a social only meet , but nor do we guarantee play on a first meet .
If there's no connection , there's no play , end of .
But if we arrange to meet and there's no option to play on that meet ( assuming we click ) , we won't meet . "
We never say we won't play on first meet but never guarantee a play ether and we would meet just for a social. Nothing worse than going to meet someone with the pressure of feeling like you've got to play. we much prefer a more chilled relaxed go with the flow and see what happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We won't entertain a social only meet , but nor do we guarantee play on a first meet .
If there's no connection , there's no play , end of .
But if we arrange to meet and there's no option to play on that meet ( assuming we click ) , we won't meet .
We never say we won't play on first meet but never guarantee a play ether and we would meet just for a social."
## Nothing worse than going to meet someone with the pressure of feeling like you've got to play. we much prefer a more chilled relaxed go with the flow and see what happens. ##
This him  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't just be us that usually end up shagging on the first meet?
This forums is seeming very prudish lately  "
We do play on first meets but had a few messages now from couples about come to ours now fuck and go type of messages that's not our thing we much prefer to meet and enjoy the company and if we play we do if not no big deal. When you reply saying that you get a response like this is a sex site. We've been swinging for about 10 years and swinging was about socialising as well as fun or has that now changed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We won't entertain a social only meet , but nor do we guarantee play on a first meet .
If there's no connection , there's no play , end of .
But if we arrange to meet and there's no option to play on that meet ( assuming we click ) , we won't meet .
We never say we won't play on first meet but never guarantee a play ether and we would meet just for a social.
## Nothing worse than going to meet someone with the pressure of feeling like you've got to play. we much prefer a more chilled relaxed go with the flow and see what happens. ##
This him "
It's both of us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer a social first then there's no pressure, you can check they look like their photos etc. We may play after but it's not a given and not always, depends on distance travelled etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social always 1st what I've found in the time I've been on here is you might click over words but when you meet its just not there which then makes it rather difficult. So I have socials to see if it's there and then plan a meet |
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We love the social side of things. It's so much better for naughty stuff if everyone gets on and is comfortable with each other. We are more of a go with the flow sort of couple if we are comfortable with another couple we would play . It's good to never has any pressure to play on a first meet . Xx mrsnawty xx |
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I do both - I often chat to people a fair bit before meeting anyway so we do already have a good idea of personality and connection and compatibility etc already so sometimes socials just aren't needed
But for more rapid meets then a social can just clarify that connection is there or not |
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually. "
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them!"
No, I guess I'm the common denominator though and some, along with their white knights, would just tell me the problem is with me and I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe they're right, but maybe it's just the majority of the sort of person fab attracts. Ho hum. |
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually. "
Nothing wrong with this.
I've had socials where there's no interstitial at all
Some where it's been a laugh but no spark to meet again
And
Some where it's all good and we've met again
No one has to change Lady T
You just move to the next .... |
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them!
No, I guess I'm the common denominator though and some, along with their white knights, would just tell me the problem is with me and I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe they're right, but maybe it's just the majority of the sort of person fab attracts. Ho hum. "
Surely a white knight reply would say that you're lovely and it's not you but the hoards of awful men on here! 
But no you shouldn't change, certainly not for any reasons connected to fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them!
No, I guess I'm the common denominator though and some, along with their white knights, would just tell me the problem is with me and I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe they're right, but maybe it's just the majority of the sort of person fab attracts. Ho hum.
Surely a white knight reply would say that you're lovely and it's not you but the hoards of awful men on here!
But no you shouldn't change, certainly not for any reasons connected to fab"
Oh, the white knights defending my posts get shot down by the white knight defending the person sniping at me.
I think everyone has to compromise at some point, because no one is perfect. I guess I'm less and less willing to, for whatever reason though. |
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them!
No, I guess I'm the common denominator though and some, along with their white knights, would just tell me the problem is with me and I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe they're right, but maybe it's just the majority of the sort of person fab attracts. Ho hum.
Surely a white knight reply would say that you're lovely and it's not you but the hoards of awful men on here!
But no you shouldn't change, certainly not for any reasons connected to fab
Oh, the white knights defending my posts get shot down by the white knight defending the person sniping at me.
I think everyone has to compromise at some point, because no one is perfect. I guess I'm less and less willing to, for whatever reason though. "
There should be a white knight jousting tournament on here where they can all fight each other with compliments about how lovely they are and the first to collapse with nausea loses!
I do agree compromise is good in life in general if not always easy to do! I do think fab is a little different though where because of the nature of what you and we want sometimes being specific and a little selfish is the only way
If that's not too white knight a reply! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
lol that's not even a pleasant social if you can't stand a lot of them!
No, I guess I'm the common denominator though and some, along with their white knights, would just tell me the problem is with me and I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe they're right, but maybe it's just the majority of the sort of person fab attracts. Ho hum.
Surely a white knight reply would say that you're lovely and it's not you but the hoards of awful men on here!
But no you shouldn't change, certainly not for any reasons connected to fab
Oh, the white knights defending my posts get shot down by the white knight defending the person sniping at me.
I think everyone has to compromise at some point, because no one is perfect. I guess I'm less and less willing to, for whatever reason though.
There should be a white knight jousting tournament on here where they can all fight each other with compliments about how lovely they are and the first to collapse with nausea loses!
I do agree compromise is good in life in general if not always easy to do! I do think fab is a little different though where because of the nature of what you and we want sometimes being specific and a little selfish is the only way
If that's not too white knight a reply!"
Laughing! Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually. "
If what you seek is hard to find , you may want to change it to make it a viable option .
Or you may stick to your guns and await the perfect guy , getting more and more fed up of meeting people you can't stand .
As you say , the common denominater is you . And that's cool . Perhaps for what you are looking for fab isn't the right place to look ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
If what you seek is hard to find , you may want to change it to make it a viable option .
Or you may stick to your guns and await the perfect guy , getting more and more fed up of meeting people you can't stand .
As you say , the common denominater is you . And that's cool . Perhaps for what you are looking for fab isn't the right place to look ? "
And to balance the universe.... Yeah, thanks for that |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
We prefer not to have a social first. We tend to meet those people whose profiles appear solid in our opinion and it's worked out perfectly so far. Messages, phone calls and pics are our preferred method, the socials we had prior had no bearing of how it would be on the meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually.
If what you seek is hard to find , you may want to change it to make it a viable option .
Or you may stick to your guns and await the perfect guy , getting more and more fed up of meeting people you can't stand .
As you say , the common denominater is you . And that's cool . Perhaps for what you are looking for fab isn't the right place to look ?
And to balance the universe.... Yeah, thanks for that "
It wasn't meant to be insulting....
Just an observation
But you're welcome . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id rather have a social, but if I do, it more often than not turns out I can't stand them, so won't be letting them near me sexually. "
oo - Hello  (does a double-take)... can't believe I've never noticed you before
To answer the OP question: I always enjoy a social, whether it leads to anything or not. I've had social meets, which turned into friendships - but without the essential spark, we won't end up in bed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We like to meet people for a social before we have the sexy fun. A drink or 2 a pub or at there's a a chat a laugh. If everyone felt right then the fun could start we'd even be happy with just a social for the first meet. But see a lot of profiles and get a lot of messages about meeting for fun straight away. I no that we're all on here for fun but we feel much more comfortable once we've got to know people a little first and fined that a good personality is key. How many others like a bit of a social first? "
fun!! If I wanted a chat or drink I'll go round to nans for a cuppa and a biscuit and let her chew my ear off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We prefer not to have a social first. We tend to meet those people whose profiles appear solid in our opinion and it's worked out perfectly so far. Messages, phone calls and pics are our preferred method, the socials we had prior had no bearing of how it would be on the meet. "
But your profile says quote...We'd like to also get to know mf couples and single females with a view to possibly playing, (again her only) but it's very early days for us in this area and it will take a very understanding, genuine person/couple to be patient with us.... so isn't getting to know them the same as a social weather you do it over the phone or in person. You don't just exchange a couple of message to arrange a meet and then straight into there bed. Witch is what we mean about a social. I.e. If we arrange to go to someone's house we turn up and have a couple of glass of wine hopefully the talk and flirting would set the mood and then move on to the fun. But really couldn't turn up walk in go straight into the bedroom and get down to it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Social,always then arrange another for fun if all,happy
All very well if you're local. But I'm not traveling 2 hours for a cup of coffee. "
That's not what we meant lol. It's all well exchanging messages but we've been asked to go to someone's house and go straight up stairs for fun. We couldn't do that. Firstly that's just a quick cheap fuck really. We mean you arrange a meet say someone's house we go take a bottle of wine have a few drinks hopefully the chatting will be about swinging and flirty and it sets the mood off for the fun to happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely have had a social first and when it has happened I'll never play...for me a social is purely that and it seems to turn the switch off in me to then go and play.I found usually the conversation turns to me being agony aunt or fab bitching and interest to play disappears.
I've never been wrong about a meet yet and I trust my gut feeling implicitly. The conversations before will tell it all. I'm a sapiophile and my mind needs engaged. I've never found arriving and getting straight down to it 'cold' as some have said, maybe that's because there will have been lots of flirting and most likely soon up to the point of arrival and both know what will happen. I guess it's also why I have clear filtering of who I'll contact and who I won't. I'm very selective, I don't go to socials or parties as I only play alone.
Never had an axe wielding fabber either or maybe I just pacified them and they just wanted more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social,always then arrange another for fun if all,happy
All very well if you're local. But I'm not traveling 2 hours for a cup of coffee.
That's not what we meant lol. It's all well exchanging messages but we've been asked to go to someone's house and go straight up stairs for fun. We couldn't do that. Firstly that's just a quick cheap fuck really. We mean you arrange a meet say someone's house we go take a bottle of wine have a few drinks hopefully the chatting will be about swinging and flirty and it sets the mood off for the fun to happen"
We agree totally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social,always then arrange another for fun if all,happy
All very well if you're local. But I'm not traveling 2 hours for a cup of coffee. "
I did two and a half hours for a social met a very special lady. Ok we didnt play but I dont regret it and we still talk on here and will meet when she comes to kestrels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I dont mind doing a social so long as its not TOO drawn out or as like with many others on here the switch goes off and the mood to play goes.
I think thats down to the fact that we know why we are meeting in the first place and so we are keyed up for it when we get there.
Short social couple of drinks then can we play please?
My previous post was an exception to the rule I might add but I just HAD to meet her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cripes  is the choice really between having some mopey conversation about the weather to check each other out or just jumping blindly into bed?!?
To us socials are part of it all. It's about enticing and flirting and the excitement of opening up erotic possibilities with new friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cripes is the choice really between having some mopey conversation about the weather to check each other out or just jumping blindly into bed?!?
To us socials are part of it all. It's about enticing and flirting and the excitement of opening up erotic possibilities with new friends. "
Well said. |
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