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You know you're watching bad porn...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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... When you start fantasising about watching better porn.
I'm quite fussy with my smut, what about you? Have you got a collection that caters to your specific fantasies, or are do you just put on a streaming site and hit random? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate American moaning fake porn. Much prefer British amateurs, lots of playing with the pussy "
I prefer British porn too, because the girls seem more real and it's exciting to think you could bump into one in real life... Not that I'd have a chance or anything, but it's a horny thought! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah I thought it was one of those 'come up with a caption' type threads.
"You know you're watching bad porn when the plumber actually fixes the sink" - that sort of thing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm quite enjoying French vintage at the moment. Amateur is good too, and I agree, British is far better. "
Vintage is a fave of mine too. Pornstars in the 70s just seemed so much more glamorous and natural |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate American moaning fake porn. Much prefer British amateurs, lots of playing with the pussy "
American porn is so funny, the guys always make more noise then the women do  |
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"I hate American moaning fake porn. Much prefer British amateurs, lots of playing with the pussy "
Hate it when the girls are more interested in looking into the camera pouting rather than getting into the BJ or girls that aren't really bi just sticking their tongue out against the pussy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I seem to prefer reality porn these days. "
It's hard to find actual reality porn though, it seems like 95% of it is blatantly set up, like "this girl can't pay her taxi fare so she fucks the driver" or "I met this MILF and persuaded her to fuck me while her kid is at football practice".
Finding real, actual couples fucking on camera for fun isn't easy! Even in the chat rooms here most couples cams are single blokes wanking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... When you start fantasising about watching better porn.
I'm quite fussy with my smut, what about you? Have you got a collection that caters to your specific fantasies, or are do you just put on a streaming site and hit random?"
Clicked on a thumbnail of what I thought was a lovely curvy Afro Caribbean lady spreading until It opened. it was a very deceptive arrangement of aubergines and other vegetables. Did I continue to masterbate? No.
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".... When the woman sounds like they're about to come just from giving the guy a hand job  "
The first hardcore porn I ever saw was either German or Scandinavian (a looong time ago) and the sound was dubbed but not too bad. When I discovered American porn, even my 15 year old self was not impressed that the women were apparently driven to heights of ecstasy by the mere act of giving a hand job, or a BJ....or that they seemed more excited after the guy pulled out of them and wanked over their tits.
I am sure there are ladies who do get off on these things...but it always struck me that they are probably in the minority. I certainly never expected my real life sexual exploits to involve ladies who had screaming orgasms just from grabbing my cock with their hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bad porn like the one being played in a club last night. Some reason she stuck a handle of a whisk into her ass. I was hoping it was going to be a cooking porn show but no just some terrible porn. It would have give a whole new meaning too half arsed cooking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bad porn like the one being played in a club last night. Some reason she stuck a handle of a whisk into her ass. I was hoping it was going to be a cooking porn show but no just some terrible porn. It would have give a whole new meaning too half arsed cooking. "
I have seen one where the guy cut an orange in half before cumming, proceeded to jizz on it, then squeezed the citrus-y splooge all over the lucky lady. Don't know exactly where that film was from, but definitely the continent! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bad porn like the one being played in a club last night. Some reason she stuck a handle of a whisk into her ass. I was hoping it was going to be a cooking porn show but no just some terrible porn. It would have give a whole new meaning too half arsed cooking.
I have seen one where the guy cut an orange in half before cumming, proceeded to jizz on it, then squeezed the citrus-y splooge all over the lucky lady. Don't know exactly where that film was from, but definitely the continent!"
Lol that's almost as bad as watching some guy cum over some cake and the girl eats it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bad porn like the one being played in a club last night. Some reason she stuck a handle of a whisk into her ass. I was hoping it was going to be a cooking porn show but no just some terrible porn. It would have give a whole new meaning too half arsed cooking.
I have seen one where the guy cut an orange in half before cumming, proceeded to jizz on it, then squeezed the citrus-y splooge all over the lucky lady. Don't know exactly where that film was from, but definitely the continent!
Lol that's almost as bad as watching some guy cum over some cake and the girl eats it. "
That's next weeks episode of Bake Off.Why do you think Mary Berry's had enough? |
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You know you are watching bad porn when:
- you fall asleep!! Yep, happened to me a few times!!!
- when you get frustrated and distracted cos the woman spends more time looking at you through the camera and pouting when they should be giving the cock the right royal service needed to get me off and back to my day and being my productive self. Get to it, woman, I don't have all day, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bad porn like the one being played in a club last night. Some reason she stuck a handle of a whisk into her ass. I was hoping it was going to be a cooking porn show but no just some terrible porn. It would have give a whole new meaning too half arsed cooking.
I have seen one where the guy cut an orange in half before cumming, proceeded to jizz on it, then squeezed the citrus-y splooge all over the lucky lady. Don't know exactly where that film was from, but definitely the continent!
Lol that's almost as bad as watching some guy cum over some cake and the girl eats it.
That's next weeks episode of Bake Off.Why do you think Mary Berry's had enough?"
I think she had enough of the cocks making the show. Now if it was on channel 5 whole different show all together lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Great British Sank off? Did she look like Sue or Mel?"
No she didn't more like a slmmer version of Nigella Lawson haha she could whisk it out of me any day lol |
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Before the Internet I used to buy DVD's trucking back from Europe...you could buy a bundle of 10 for €20...but never knew what you were getting...I have a whole spectrum of activities str8..bit..gay..from good to awful.
Now I can select online I prefer amateur/home made...real.people rather than muscle men or Barbie dolls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... When you start fantasising about watching better porn.
I'm quite fussy with my smut, what about you? Have you got a collection that caters to your specific fantasies, or are do you just put on a streaming site and hit random?"
I have to agree  |
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