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Married Men
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By *BCambs OP Couple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have that code too and wouldn't play with married men but it's on the verge of breaking into pieces
Never had abusive messages from married men though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
You don't ever abandon your morale code. At the end of the day you don't want to be the cause of any break up. Think alot just see it as a easy way to have sex. I would add that some do have permission to play. How you go about that them treat them the same or as a single male. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that if there are married men/men playing away behind their other half's backs, they should be forthcoming about it, and be more understanding if people don't want to meet them due to that. This goes for anything, men are just too touchy on here! |
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Never!
I find it funny when some single guys come on here and clearky have no respect for wiman and think every hole is a goal. Thinking that because we are sexually open, that we have no morals.
Ive never been abused for turning down and married guy and I would never knowlingly play with someone who is.
Vanilla's, or should I say idiotic people, think that being openly sexually must equate to having no morals/shame etc....
A totally outdated societal norm based on dominan, religiously defined, behavioural codes.
Thats what i think anyway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone on here has the right to turn anyone down for whatever reason and without having to state that reason. Unfortunately there remain a few bitter immature people who lack the self confidence and respect to politely accept rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never knowingly will we meet married men. For us it's just wrong, never want to be in any way involved in hurting an oblivious wife and potentialy kids through entertaining a randy cheating husband/dad.
There have been many threads on here about wifes finding out and giving members grief. Not for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here..."
Pussibly because it's generally men looking to meet women. Maybe they don'tt care as much as the women looking to meet men do.
Does it matter as long as the people meeting are happy?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't had any abuse,actually they were understanding.I don't play with married man either,unless they lie! I don't want to hurt anyone.If you lie to your own partner,imagine to a stranger?Soon or later they will be court! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho.
What has the bible got to do with it?  "
I guess, it depends how christian some is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho.
What morals must to do with bible?"
Nothing really, but it sais few things about swinging. |
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"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho.
What has the bible got to do with it? "
Yes , quite,.... What the fuck has the bible got to do with it???..... Unless you choose to live in that fairy story world of course! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here...
Crap. I won't see them either. "
Agreed.
I appreciate that there are often very complex dynamics at work in a relationship which if known can explain and possibly even justify a married guy being on fab.
In most cases however they are just lying cheating little shits.
I am simply not bothered enough to waste time differentiating between the two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would not expect a married person to volunteer that information, but if I asked they should be open whether they want me to have that information or not.
When people start getting abusive about me asking a question I draw one conclusion from it - They are probably doing something that I would not like (cheating for example).
It's best to assume the worst, and then decide if you want to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho.
Is it the old or new testament that refers to swinging..?"
It is mostly in the old testament there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here...
This thread isn't about married women."
Why should be different ? Is just the same, either female or male. The issue is have guys even put on their updates I am looking for a married lady!And they meet anything,regardless the situation. |
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By *BCambs OP Couple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho."
What does the bible have to do with morales in this case! Morales are a sense of right and wrong developed out of human decency.
This is my about everyone consenting to having fun, a married person, male or female, that has not got the consent from the partner to play is an absolute no in our book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's only fair that if you're married you should be inform the people you are asking to meet as it can be important to them in making a decision to meet. If you're turned down because of that then grow up and accept just accept it like an adult. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Morals and swinging? The bible sees swinging from couples as adultery tho.
What does the bible have to do with morales in this case! Morales are a sense of right and wrong developed out of human decency.
This is my about everyone consenting to having fun, a married person, male or female, that has not got the consent from the partner to play is an absolute no in our book."
you telling woman she can fuck your husband but not another husband is a no no in my book..you dont get the say..i do... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A married man I see EXACTLY the same as a single guy that comes on here to fuck but wouldn't let their future or current girlfriend play. That's not swinging is it!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A married man I see EXACTLY the same as a single guy that comes on here to fuck but wouldn't let their future or current girlfriend play. That's not swinging is it!!! "
Ditto for married women! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone on here has the right to turn anyone down for whatever reason and without having to state that reason. Unfortunately there remain a few bitter immature people who lack the self confidence and respect to politely accept rejection."
Totally agree some people are to immature for their own good. I clearly state I'm married and fully accept that for a lot of people they don't want to know. No an issue just means even less of a chance than a single guy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regardless of being married or not , it's unfortunate that some people think they can say whatever they like to others over the Internet. I am married and on here without my wife's knowledge and people can judge me however they like. However I always treat others on here with respect. |
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Personally I don't have an issue if they are up front, at least I'm warned. I don't get all the judge pants though, if you disapprove just don't engage with them. Block and move on.
There are plenty of men and women who are up.front about it.
It's a choice the same as everything else on here, don't judge. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Don't justify yourself.
Just do it
But don't ask others to justify why they won't meet you.
It's simple but effective.
But I would not sell my granny to get my hole. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here...
This thread isn't about married women.
Maybe its not but you cant have double standards "
 life is full of them, why would here be any different
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our problem isn't that men are on here when they are married, it's that they try and tell us how honest they are.
We don't knowingly meet married guys, and understand there are lots of reasons why they may choose to cheat, but please don't tell us you are honest  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
"
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit."
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ..."
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference."
to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Married guys aside, whatever reason you give some guys they will come back with some form of abuse to try and heal there bruised ego. I for one am well versed in rejection after 4 years of door to door sales. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ..."
I get the point you're making however that is a huge generalisation.
Not all swinging couples are married, and a lot of marriage vows are now personalised and don't include the forsake all others part.
As for keeping your sex life private rather than sharing with family and friends, that's completely different surely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different.."
I would imagine it's a general consensus from anyone whose partner cheats. It doesn't"serve" me to think that way as I'm a single woman. I choose to think that way and not indulge with any married man playing away from home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my _iew (Male half) I find that many men take the wife for granted after a certain period of marriage. They stop trying and putting any emotional effort into the relationship I wonder how many men think that because they work do the odd job or two around the home think that's all there is to married life. When the women needs to be desired told she is attractive and sexy treated emotionally like he did when the marriage and courtship was new. Further they might be happy to have sex with someone else's wife but hate the thought of any other man invading what they think is there property. As to us playing with a married man. If he attracts the wife's attention and she desires him then why not..often less hassle or risk for us a's a married man is less likely to make a scene or course trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are not all like that. Clearly there is a wide spectrum of people on here, many women who cheat too, and some who have permission to play as well as singles. If a woman states clearly that she won't deal with a married man, then I and I'm sure many others respect that and don't bother them. It's often very hard to make out what people want as profiles often seem to chime with what I feel I have to offer, but then find myself rejected out of hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different.."
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
I get the point you're making however that is a huge generalisation.
Not all swinging couples are married, and a lot of marriage vows are now personalised and don't include the forsake all others part.
As for keeping your sex life private rather than sharing with family and friends, that's completely different surely. "
is it..there is a paradox here on this site that sex is sacred and then its NSA. well its the same thing..its sex...why people are honest in one aspect of their lifes and not to other aspects about the same thing is beyond me..is it private, is it public..does it matter or not..its subjective and not 'beholden to morals ' but to personal preference..to have a preference is one thing, to hold other people who have different preferences but you call them 'morals' is because you want to think you are right, because if you didnt your world _iew would fall apart... no one is 'right' if its a preference..morals point fingers and is in this case , from my perception, is hypocrisy..no one has to agree with me, because their opinion/ preference doesn't bother me..to say that i am immoral is an opinion, and one i will just agree with people on..yes, i go against your preference..so what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
If they get aggressive or arsey with you after you say no they have proven that they are tools and you were right to say no.
Its your body you have the right to thrn soneone down for whatever reason you like you owe nothing and people need to remember that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People get abuse from married men, people get abuse from single men, people get abuse from couples, people get abuse from single women, married men get abuse from couples, married men get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from couples, women who meet married men get abuse from women who don't meet married men, married women get messages asking to fuck from couples who are vocally condemning of cheaters in the forums, and the world keeps on turning...
Basically, IMO everyone should do their own thing, just ignore those they're not interested in rather than seeking to tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their lives, and get over themselves. |
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"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
Well I'm sorry to tell you but the ones you have met and told u they're single are married hahaha so out goes your moral code I'm afraid; this is fabswingers u know  |
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"Personally I don't have an issue if they are up front, at least I'm warned. I don't get all the judge pants though, if you disapprove just don't engage with them. Block and move on.
There are plenty of men and women who are up.front about it.
It's a choice the same as everything else on here, don't judge."
Our point of _iew too |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different..
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner. "
why would you be devastated? because he had sex with someone else or he lied?..if its because he lied, just think of all those lies youve told over your lifetime to anyone..whos to judge which lie has the greatest weight..basically you dont want it happening to you, because it would make your expectation/ world_iew of relationships fall apart...that perception is in your power to change right now, by choosing if it did happen to be unconcerned..thats a choice you have, anyone has..noobody makes you feel anything unless you agree to choose to feel it..so it serves your world _iew to say you would be devastated...its expected...although not necessarily correct or in fact anything to do with anyone else. it comes down to whether youd want to feel hard done by or not, or wanted to play the 'victim' in society's construct.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one should be abusive regardless of why they are turned down.
Unless you have been rude doing so."
Even if they were rude doing so, just delete and block. Why waste energy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one should be abusive regardless of why they are turned down.
Unless you have been rude doing so.
Even if they were rude doing so, just delete and block. Why waste energy."
I don't even understand wasting the energy telling people why you've turned them down either. |
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"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
Put no married men on your profile.
Do not engage with people outwith what you're looking for.
You do not have to justify your actions to anyone.
It really is that easy to enjoy angst and drama free time on here. I have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different..
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner.
why would you be devastated? because he had sex with someone else or he lied?..if its because he lied, just think of all those lies youve told over your lifetime to anyone..whos to judge which lie has the greatest weight..basically you dont want it happening to you, because it would make your expectation/ world_iew of relationships fall apart...that perception is in your power to change right now, by choosing if it did happen to be unconcerned..thats a choice you have, anyone has..noobody makes you feel anything unless you agree to choose to feel it..so it serves your world _iew to say you would be devastated...its expected...although not necessarily correct or in fact anything to do with anyone else. it comes down to whether youd want to feel hard done by or not, or wanted to play the 'victim' in society's construct.."
Hehe I've tried your way in the past, and if it was that easy no one would ever get hurt.
You may be able to change your mindset from the norm, but don't look down on those who find it more difficult. |
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
"
But they're not complaining about being turned down so don't get your point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would guess over 75% of guys in my age group on here are marriwd or have a girlfriend. It's strange how many guys I chat to during the week dont seem to go on fab at evwnings and weekends. A dead giveaway in my opinion! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different..
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner.
why would you be devastated? because he had sex with someone else or he lied?..if its because he lied, just think of all those lies youve told over your lifetime to anyone..whos to judge which lie has the greatest weight..basically you dont want it happening to you, because it would make your expectation/ world_iew of relationships fall apart...that perception is in your power to change right now, by choosing if it did happen to be unconcerned..thats a choice you have, anyone has..noobody makes you feel anything unless you agree to choose to feel it..so it serves your world _iew to say you would be devastated...its expected...although not necessarily correct or in fact anything to do with anyone else. it comes down to whether youd want to feel hard done by or not, or wanted to play the 'victim' in society's construct.."
Not everyone is as self aware as you come across Suzy. Yes we do have a choice in how we feel but an emotional reaction comes about at such a fast rate it can catch us unaware. One must then step back from those feelings before you can choose to feel them or not.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different..
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner.
why would you be devastated? because he had sex with someone else or he lied?..if its because he lied, just think of all those lies youve told over your lifetime to anyone..whos to judge which lie has the greatest weight..basically you dont want it happening to you, because it would make your expectation/ world_iew of relationships fall apart...that perception is in your power to change right now, by choosing if it did happen to be unconcerned..thats a choice you have, anyone has..noobody makes you feel anything unless you agree to choose to feel it..so it serves your world _iew to say you would be devastated...its expected...although not necessarily correct or in fact anything to do with anyone else. it comes down to whether youd want to feel hard done by or not, or wanted to play the 'victim' in society's construct.."
All i can say is if you truly believe that a person can just choose not to be devastated when they find their life partner has been cheating on them behind their back you have clearly never been in love, im sure you think you have but trust me and any other person who has or is if you believe that you havent |
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"Regardless of being married or not , it's unfortunate that some people think they can say whatever they like to others over the Internet. I am married and on here without my wife's knowledge and people can judge me however they like. However I always treat others on here with respect."
Respect strangers whilst...you know what? I can't be arsed! |
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"No one should be abusive regardless of why they are turned down.
Unless you have been rude doing so.
Even if they were rude doing so, just delete and block. Why waste energy.
I don't even understand wasting the energy telling people why you've turned them down either. "
I think some see it as polite to give a reason, especially if they have sent messages back and forth.
Not saying it's the right or wrong way, but that would be my guess. |
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"Our problem isn't that men are on here when they are married, it's that they try and tell us how honest they are.
We don't knowingly meet married guys, and understand there are lots of reasons why they may choose to cheat, but please don't tell us you are honest "
...or how respectful they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No one should be abusive regardless of why they are turned down.
Unless you have been rude doing so.
Even if they were rude doing so, just delete and block. Why waste energy.
I don't even understand wasting the energy telling people why you've turned them down either.
I think some see it as polite to give a reason, especially if they have sent messages back and forth.
Not saying it's the right or wrong way, but that would be my guess. "
Fair enough, I don't think it's any less polite to just say "no thank you" than it is to say "no thank you because you're a cheating bastard", "no thank you because you have a big nose" or "no thank you because you're a Sunderland supporter". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a slight aside, we're always being told "do as you would like others to do to you". Well I would always, a million times over, rather my partner quietly and discreetly found someone completely unconnected to our lives to have sex with, than left me and threw away our entire life for the sake of "honesty" or hurt me by telling me I wasn't enough for him sexually for the sake of "honesty". I'd find either of these options infinitely more hurtful and disrespectful to me. Not everyone in the world cherishes honesty above all else. |
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"Never knowingly will we meet married men. For us it's just wrong, never want to be in any way involved in hurting an oblivious wife and potentialy kids through entertaining a randy cheating husband/dad.
There have been many threads on here about wifes finding out and giving members grief. Not for us."
Totally agree That's why Wifey and me have an open marriage. No secrets means no harm to family life. Plus as we are a family if one of us is out playing the other of us is kiddie sitting. So no complications about child minders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a married guy who's wife doesn't know I'm here I felt compelled to add my opinion for what it's worth.
I will not try and deceive anyone regarding my status and I know their are plenty of people who will not approve what I'm doing.
I would never abuse or be rude to anyone just because they aren't interested in me just as I don't expect to be on the receiving end. I have already had people tell me they aren't interested all I say is thanks for telling me that and wish them well finding someone. Simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a slight aside, we're always being told "do as you would like others to do to you". Well I would always, a million times over, rather my partner quietly and discreetly found someone completely unconnected to our lives to have sex with, than left me and threw away our entire life for the sake of "honesty" or hurt me by telling me I wasn't enough for him sexually for the sake of "honesty". I'd find either of these options infinitely more hurtful and disrespectful to me. Not everyone in the world cherishes honesty above all else. "
See, I'm the opposite, if my partner wanted more I'd much rather he told me so he could have sex elsewhere with my blessing, rather than lie about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a slight aside, we're always being told "do as you would like others to do to you". Well I would always, a million times over, rather my partner quietly and discreetly found someone completely unconnected to our lives to have sex with, than left me and threw away our entire life for the sake of "honesty" or hurt me by telling me I wasn't enough for him sexually for the sake of "honesty". I'd find either of these options infinitely more hurtful and disrespectful to me. Not everyone in the world cherishes honesty above all else.
See, I'm the opposite, if my partner wanted more I'd much rather he told me so he could have sex elsewhere with my blessing, rather than lie about it. "
And that's fine. But people are different and that's not how I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a slight aside, we're always being told "do as you would like others to do to you". Well I would always, a million times over, rather my partner quietly and discreetly found someone completely unconnected to our lives to have sex with, than left me and threw away our entire life for the sake of "honesty" or hurt me by telling me I wasn't enough for him sexually for the sake of "honesty". I'd find either of these options infinitely more hurtful and disrespectful to me. Not everyone in the world cherishes honesty above all else.
See, I'm the opposite, if my partner wanted more I'd much rather he told me so he could have sex elsewhere with my blessing, rather than lie about it.
And that's fine. But people are different and that's not how I feel. "
That was my point, we're all different |
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Why do you need to tell them the reason for your refusal?
The only time I tell a bloke why I am saying no thanks is when he keeps on and one with the why not? Then I tell him and they hate it.
All you need to say is thanks but no thanks and leave it at that, you don't need to go all moral on them. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Just to play devils advocate here but.. is the same moral code not coming into question by inviting others into the mix?
Of course not as all parties are aware and give consent. There is no deceit.
married people lied in front of all their family and friends taking their vows and then breaking them by swinging..that is deceit...marriage licences dont make people more honest, in vfact the reason many are on here, which they openly admit is that having others in the mix, keeps their marriage viable/ more exciting etc etc..same as a married man keeps with his wife and is on here..it keeps his marriage viable...there is no difference ...
The only deceit worth a mention is between two people in a relationship. So there is a massive difference. to you because it serves you to think that way..'reality' is slightly different..
If I found out my partner had been having sex with someone behind my back I'd be devastated.
If I found out my daughter or a close friend had been swinging I'd completely understand why they'd chosen not to tell me.
They may not have been honest with me but it's not a betrayal in the same sense as if it was my partner.
why would you be devastated? because he had sex with someone else or he lied?..if its because he lied, just think of all those lies youve told over your lifetime to anyone..whos to judge which lie has the greatest weight..basically you dont want it happening to you, because it would make your expectation/ world_iew of relationships fall apart...that perception is in your power to change right now, by choosing if it did happen to be unconcerned..thats a choice you have, anyone has..noobody makes you feel anything unless you agree to choose to feel it..so it serves your world _iew to say you would be devastated...its expected...although not necessarily correct or in fact anything to do with anyone else. it comes down to whether youd want to feel hard done by or not, or wanted to play the 'victim' in society's construct..
Hehe I've tried your way in the past, and if it was that easy no one would ever get hurt.
You may be able to change your mindset from the norm, but don't look down on those who find it more difficult. "
i didnt look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal.."
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
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"Never!
I find it funny when some single guys come on here and clearky have no respect for wiman and think every hole is a goal. Thinking that because we are sexually open, that we have no morals.
Ive never been abused for turning down and married guy and I would never knowlingly play with someone who is.
Vanilla's, or should I say idiotic people, think that being openly sexually must equate to having no morals/shame etc....
A totally outdated societal norm based on dominan, religiously defined, behavioural codes.
Thats what i think anyway!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why not put on your profile you don't meet married men,then you can just delete if they contact you.
Miss"
I will wager the men who get abusive after rejection aren't the best profile readers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As a slight aside, we're always being told "do as you would like others to do to you". Well I would always, a million times over, rather my partner quietly and discreetly found someone completely unconnected to our lives to have sex with, than left me and threw away our entire life for the sake of "honesty" or hurt me by telling me I wasn't enough for him sexually for the sake of "honesty". I'd find either of these options infinitely more hurtful and disrespectful to me. Not everyone in the world cherishes honesty above all else. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never!
I find it funny when some single guys come on here and clearky have no respect for wiman and think every hole is a goal. Thinking that because we are sexually open, that we have no morals.
Ive never been abused for turning down and married guy and I would never knowlingly play with someone who is.
Vanilla's, or should I say idiotic people, think that being openly sexually must equate to having no morals/shame etc....
A totally outdated societal norm based on dominan, religiously defined, behavioural codes.
Thats what i think anyway!"
Vanilla = idiots? That doesn't sound particularly open minded or tolerant.
The idea that one kind of infidelity automatically means no morals or no shame (so, akin to a serial killer, perhaps? Or a genocidal dictator? Maybe just a common or garden psychopath. That's literally what you are saying when you condemn someone as having NO moral code) is also laughable. |
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"Never!
I find it funny when some single guys come on here and clearky have no respect for wiman and think every hole is a goal. Thinking that because we are sexually open, that we have no morals.
Ive never been abused for turning down and married guy and I would never knowlingly play with someone who is.
Vanilla's, or should I say idiotic people, think that being openly sexually must equate to having no morals/shame etc....
A totally outdated societal norm based on dominan, religiously defined, behavioural codes.
Thats what i think anyway!
Vanilla = idiots? That doesn't sound particularly open minded or tolerant.
The idea that one kind of infidelity automatically means no morals or no shame (so, akin to a serial killer, perhaps? Or a genocidal dictator? Maybe just a common or garden psychopath. That's literally what you are saying when you condemn someone as having NO moral code) is also laughable."
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
"
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be.. |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
"People get abuse from married men, people get abuse from single men, people get abuse from couples, people get abuse from single women, married men get abuse from couples, married men get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from couples, women who meet married men get abuse from women who don't meet married men, married women get messages asking to fuck from couples who are vocally condemning of cheaters in the forums, and the world keeps on turning...
Basically, IMO everyone should do their own thing, just ignore those they're not interested in rather than seeking to tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their lives, and get over themselves. "
A more comprehensive answer than I'd have given but I certainly agree |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"People get abuse from married men, people get abuse from single men, people get abuse from couples, people get abuse from single women, married men get abuse from couples, married men get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from couples, women who meet married men get abuse from women who don't meet married men, married women get messages asking to fuck from couples who are vocally condemning of cheaters in the forums, and the world keeps on turning...
Basically, IMO everyone should do their own thing, just ignore those they're not interested in rather than seeking to tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their lives, and get over themselves.
A more comprehensive answer than I'd have given but I certainly agree "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People get abuse from married men, people get abuse from single men, people get abuse from couples, people get abuse from single women, married men get abuse from couples, married men get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from single women, married women get abuse from couples, women who meet married men get abuse from women who don't meet married men, married women get messages asking to fuck from couples who are vocally condemning of cheaters in the forums, and the world keeps on turning...
Basically, IMO everyone should do their own thing, just ignore those they're not interested in rather than seeking to tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their lives, and get over themselves.
A more comprehensive answer than I'd have given but I certainly agree "
Yrah but then what would we talk about in the forums???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be.."
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
|
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
"
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x"
Think you're getting our posts mixed up with someone else's, we haven't told anyone who they can and can't fuck.
We're happy for everyone to do what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x"
What you did was say anyone who was devestated after finding their partner was being unfaithfull was "playing the victim" your words not mine read your post, personally i think thats about as disrespectfull as one can be however elequently you want to dress it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
I've had abuse etc one guy even said this site was for couples and married and I shouldn't be on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x
What you did was say anyone who was devestated after finding their partner was being unfaithfull was "playing the victim" your words not mine read your post, personally i think thats about as disrespectfull as one can be however elequently you want to dress it up "
Beautifully put |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x
What you did was say anyone who was devestated after finding their partner was being unfaithfull was "playing the victim" your words not mine read your post, personally i think thats about as disrespectfull as one can be however elequently you want to dress it up
Beautifully put"
yes im disrespectful of social constructs and social morals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x
What you did was say anyone who was devestated after finding their partner was being unfaithfull was "playing the victim" your words not mine read your post, personally i think thats about as disrespectfull as one can be however elequently you want to dress it up
Beautifully put yes im disrespectful of social constructs and social morals. "
Whereas we actually respect your _iewpoint no matter whether for us or not.
We really don't care what anyone on here thinks of us  |
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"I didn't look down on anyone. i was just offering an alternative perspective...one with logic and truth to it..no need to make this personal..
It's your truth, it's not everyone's. Maybe respect others _iew points as well, there's more than one way to live your life.
i do, thats why you have a block button..but bullying one aspect in a subculture when they aren't being forced on you, pisses me off...take your own advice and live and let live..
what you are accusing me of,(there's more than one way to live your life. your words) you are doing yourself..respect my point of _iew and ill respect yours..
you dont have to play with anyone..and i can play with anyone i like...
they are different and no one here is right..although you may want to be..
Haha you do make us laugh Suzy, your posts are full of judging others but you don't like anyone disagreeing with you.
We do live our life our way, and we've never said you shouldn't do it your way
dont fuck them, dont fuck me, dont fuck anyone you dont want to..i disagreed with the main rationale of the op..it was nothing personal..i shall never meet them..i put forward a rational argument against the mind set of many, you dont want to change it, thats fine by me..i offered an alternative choice. that is all..freedom is love..do what makes you happy and i shall do the same..and laughter is good for you..so do it more often..even at people ..no need to change, life will carry on as before x
What you did was say anyone who was devestated after finding their partner was being unfaithfull was "playing the victim" your words not mine read your post, personally i think thats about as disrespectfull as one can be however elequently you want to dress it up
Beautifully put yes im disrespectful of social constructs and social morals. "
So you think that everyone who follows or adheres to social constructs and social morals, as you term them hasn't taken the time to think them through? Maybe they work for them and they coincide with their own morality. I think its disrespectful to assume you are the only deep thinker who has seen the light out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here...
This thread isn't about married women."
It isn't but.. I think what he is saying and not very clearly is that... Some are... The pot calling the kettle black.. Married men do get a tough break on fab. Some deservedly. But there are a few who are not abusive if turned down. Imo. Being turned down for whatever reason is fair game. Its Hobsons choice here... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have we determined yet why it matters why we don't play with someone. Who fucking cares.
Press the block button.
You are not releasing a fatal injection."
Awww we're not? You've taken all the fun out of it 
No doubt that'll be taken seriously |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Have we determined yet why it matters why we don't play with someone. Who fucking cares.
Press the block button.
You are not releasing a fatal injection.
Awww we're not? You've taken all the fun out of it
No doubt that'll be taken seriously "
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If someone is married/attached and playing away I'm sure they've got their reasons and thats their business, all I ask is they don't make it mine by asking me to meet them I have my reasons for not wanting to and that's my business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know there are married men on this site looking for extra on the side fun.
We get it.
But we also have the right to choose not to play with them, no matter how nice they are.
Some have been quite abusive when we say that's the reason we are turning them down.
Since when did being a swinger mean we have to abandon our morale code?
Thoughts?"
Despite my previous profile and current profile saying don't contact me if you're attached, I've not only been messaged by married men and got abuse from several of them, but I also got grief from one a female fb of one of them after blocking him. Apparently, according to her, swingers means people cheating on their spouses. |
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People blab on about not following social morals or constructs.
Well they do until someone breaks into 'their' house or steal 'their' car. Or some idiot is drink driving etc.
It's all lovely in theory to have no social constructs. Until someone takes them away and says fend for yourself.
Suddenly they look alot more attractive when they fit with your particular set of circumstances.
All law is abstract and arbitrary. whether that be contract law, criminal law or societal norms.
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"But it's completely different when it comes to married women on here...
This thread isn't about married women.
It isn't but.. I think what he is saying and not very clearly is that... Some are... The pot calling the kettle black.. Married men do get a tough break on fab. Some deservedly. But there are a few who are not abusive if turned down. Imo. Being turned down for whatever reason is fair game. Its Hobsons choice here... "
Married men get what would be the norm in world wide society. married women get it far easier.
But it's because 2 different groups are making the call.
Generally couples and women are judging married men. Were as it tends to be single guys judging the married women.
It's all very general but it explains why the outcomes are different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People blab on about not following social morals or constructs.
Well they do until someone breaks into 'their' house or steal 'their' car. Or some idiot is drink driving etc.
It's all lovely in theory to have no social constructs. Until someone takes them away and says fend for yourself.
Suddenly they look alot more attractive when they fit with your particular set of circumstances.
All law is abstract and arbitrary. whether that be contract law, criminal law or societal norms.
"
Yes, exactly that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to throw in the mix how do you get on when men and women say married playing with partners approval,do the have to carry written authorisation ?"
We would want to speak to the partner to confirm consent we know as of yet we havent been part of anyone playing away and we will do our best to keep it that way.
I (mr) have been on the receiving end of infidelity in previous relationships so for me people can make all the excuses and justifications they want to make themselves feel better about the cowardice of not being honest with the person they proclaim to love but i want no part in it |
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