FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > to meet, or not to meet..
to meet, or not to meet..
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why? |
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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago
St Peter Port |
I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as the domination didn't involve physical pain, which I neither enjoy watching being administered, nor participating in.
If all 3 parties are comfortable, then I'd be delighted x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as the domination didn't involve physical pain, which I neither enjoy watching being administered, nor participating in.
If all 3 parties are comfortable, then I'd be delighted x"
sensation play done in a safe sane and consensual manner does not always mean pain..but i understand your preferences..that wouldnt be on the cards in my situation..thank you for your reply x |
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"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?"
Yes and due to the situation and my preferences it would make it an even hotter meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?"
It does make a difference to me. If I wanted to meet her on her own initially, the addition of some random bloke isn't what I'd be looking for. Im not a performing seal. the original reason for wanting to meet is no longer there so it would stop me wanting to meet.
I also wouldn't trust him not to try and extend the dynamic to me. it does nothing for me sexually and seeing it happen to someone else is a massive turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be happy to meet, but only if all parties were in agreement and comfortable with each other. I would imagine a meet would be rather awkward otherwise. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
It does make a difference to me. If I wanted to meet her on her own initially, the addition of some random bloke isn't what I'd be looking for. Im not a performing seal. the original reason for wanting to meet is no longer there so it would stop me wanting to meet.
I also wouldn't trust him not to try and extend the dynamic to me. it does nothing for me sexually and seeing it happen to someone else is a massive turn off."
ok i never treat people like a performing seal, number one..i was asking a situational question.
and two, 'do what to me?' you havent stated which part of the huge spectrum of BDSM you object to in particular, and 3, im sorry you dont trust a D/s dynamic that they wouldn't make you feel equal or even a valued guest in playtime..but i understand the many experiences people have had where they dont feel equal, ive had them myself..thank you for your imput x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I would be happy to meet, but only if all parties were in agreement and comfortable with each other. I would imagine a meet would be rather awkward otherwise."
what would make you comfortable? im interested x
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Yes and due to the situation and my preferences it would make it an even hotter meet. "
preferences being?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be happy to meet, but only if all parties were in agreement and comfortable with each other. I would imagine a meet would be rather awkward otherwise. what would make you comfortable? im interested x"
Just a relaxed atmosphere where all parties are at ease with each other, ie conversation is good, lots of flirting etc. That way if things progress further, there's no worries and neither party would feel under pressure to 'perform'!
Speaking personally, if I was to be lucky enough to have a one-to-one meeting with a lady, I would make it on her terms so that she feels completely comfortable with me. I would be happy if she was basically!  x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I would be happy to meet, but only if all parties were in agreement and comfortable with each other. I would imagine a meet would be rather awkward otherwise. what would make you comfortable? im interested x
Just a relaxed atmosphere where all parties are at ease with each other, ie conversation is good, lots of flirting etc. That way if things progress further, there's no worries and neither party would feel under pressure to 'perform'!
Speaking personally, if I was to be lucky enough to have a one-to-one meeting with a lady, I would make it on her terms so that she feels completely comfortable with me. I would be happy if she was basically! x"
id be scening...probably blindfolded and collared.maybe gagged .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?"
All depends on how much we like the lady and whether the guy was nice, both personality wise and reasonably attractive to us . We would definitely do a social first  |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
Depends under what circumstances you'd got to know her.
One to one relationships are usually easier to develop on line with a single person I think. Building up a rapport, getting to know what motivates them, just getting to like them. However, having done this I'd then find it a bit awkward having someone else suddenly appear whom I knew nothing about 
Meeting someone at a club and then being introduced to their partner after a brief chat wouldn't pose the same issue as it would be a fairly good shallow, instinctive decision to go at it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have not done something like this but i believe i would really enjoy it.
It would give me the opportunity to learn from other people it would give me different experiences and hopefully i could pass on some of experiences as well.
Its always good to know people that share the same interests that you can bounce ideas off |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I have not done something like this but i believe i would really enjoy it.
It would give me the opportunity to learn from other people it would give me different experiences and hopefully i could pass on some of experiences as well.
Its always good to know people that share the same interests that you can bounce ideas off "
 |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
the thread was really about fancying a single woman and wanting to meet and if she was in a couple D/s dynamic, would you still want to meet /play with her..or would you say no ,because you wanted to meet her on your own only..i wasnt expecting the fuck toy accessory or the we'll sit around and have a chat type answers, it kind of threw me..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" the thread was really about fancying a single woman and wanting to meet and if she was in a couple D/s dynamic, would you still want to meet /play with her..or would you say no ,because you wanted to meet her on your own only..i wasnt expecting the fuck toy accessory or the we'll sit around and have a chat type answers, it kind of threw me.. "
Would the meet be based totally around the BDSM scene ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From experience l had a very enjoyable double dom session that started with impact and then led to sensual play. We met socially first to check the dynamic and later l was given very clear written instructions of what could and could not be done and how we should proceed. At the play l needed his consent before l used a new toy. It was a textbook example of how to introduce a new dom to a double dom situation. I would do it again with them as he was experienced. However l would not do it again with anyone else because in truth l want to be in control of the scene. Except as stated above l do not play fetish with anyone who has a master or a dom as you are not really in control. In all other situations l am happy to be a ronin dom for hire. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
" the thread was really about fancying a single woman and wanting to meet and if she was in a couple D/s dynamic, would you still want to meet /play with her..or would you say no ,because you wanted to meet her on your own only..i wasnt expecting the fuck toy accessory or the we'll sit around and have a chat type answers, it kind of threw me..
Would the meet be based totally around the BDSM scene ?"
i thought so before, my thoughts were, i would be as kitty yes. that my Dom and the guests would discuss what they wanted and work it towards their desires..its how its worked for us before, people and us, have had some great experiences that they've never tried before.. maybe thats cos its in a club and not on here with messaging etc etc..who knows..im pondering xx nsight if you have any, gratefully recieved x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"From experience l had a very enjoyable double dom session that started with impact and then led to sensual play. We met socially first to check the dynamic and later l was given very clear written instructions of what could and could not be done and how we should proceed. At the play l needed his consent before l used a new toy. It was a textbook example of how to introduce a new dom to a double dom situation. I would do it again with them as he was experienced. However l would not do it again with anyone else because in truth l want to be in control of the scene. Except as stated above l do not play fetish with anyone who has a master or a dom as you are not really in control. In all other situations l am happy to be a ronin dom for hire. "
no one doms me but my Dom without permission.im collared and i like it that way x and the question was explained abit further down the thread..i dont think i made myself very clear x thankyou for your response xx |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it would totally depend on the dynamic between me the other person.
For Example
If I had been talking to you as a single women and our conversations had been around myself as Dom and you as sub. If we were meeting to be told that i wouldnt have total control i would find difficult (bearing in mind if you had not mentioned that you are already D/s relationship).
However if from the outset i knew the only way we would meet is with you and your Dom then atleast o have my head around it.
I was in sitution once where i met someone a few times on their own we had that D/s link. It was then suggested that i meet with their partner aswell (although he wasnt Dom) he would have final say.
I couldnt do it i couldnt have someone else telling me what to do in that scenario. (Thats the basic version its a little more complicated than that).
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S"
mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right? |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"For me it would totally depend on the dynamic between me the other person.
For Example
If I had been talking to you as a single women and our conversations had been around myself as Dom and you as sub. If we were meeting to be told that i wouldnt have total control i would find difficult (bearing in mind if you had not mentioned that you are already D/s relationship).
However if from the outset i knew the only way we would meet is with you and your Dom then atleast o have my head around it.
I was in sitution once where i met someone a few times on their own we had that D/s link. It was then suggested that i meet with their partner aswell (although he wasnt Dom) he would have final say.
I couldnt do it i couldnt have someone else telling me what to do in that scenario. (Thats the basic version its a little more complicated than that).
"
no iget your reeasoning..if you are dom too and you meet up with another dom and sub and you feel you havent maybe shared the planning of the scene..and therefore were yourself under instruction..i can understand that, however im not talking in another dom terms, im talking generally in the terms of i would like to play with her..id like to join in, because she would like me too and i would like to have a great experience and a little something different.
i realise we blur the edges a good deal..we do take our dynamic into swingers clubs and, its not always understood..but really its just like swinging with the added dynamic that i am a sub.. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me yes I would need to know boundaries as at the end of day you are someone's wife/partner and not a piece of meat and if I didn't feel comfortable with your partners instructions I would just say sorry not my thing |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"For me yes I would need to know boundaries as at the end of day you are someone's wife/partner and not a piece of meat and if I didn't feel comfortable with your partners instructions I would just say sorry not my thing"
i am not his wife or girlfriend..i am however his sub x hes more there to look after me than instruct, but ok, i get your meaning xx thankyou x
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?"
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?"
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
S"
as i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?"
the need to know the limits are bound however the other need is to know can you push those boundaries with in those limits most doms want and need that control however I've worked with other doms with good communication before the meets and all has proceeded well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission."
oh for goodness sake im not a novice. i trust my partner who happens to be Dom, to look after me, and i like my dynamic..its all sane , safe and consensual i assure you..we've been playing together quite a while, hes never once betrayed my trust..you misunderstand i am not a doormat..and ive been on the swinging and fet scene long enough, to know stuff..but each to their own..you dont understand what im suggesting x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right? the need to know the limits are bound however the other need is to know can you push those boundaries with in those limits most doms want and need that control however I've worked with other doms with good communication before the meets and all has proceeded well "
that would be for you and him to discuss..i prefer and it is my choice, that discussions take place with him..if needed, i will communicate, but not about what you agree to scene..for me that's part of it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission."
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission . |
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I think I understand this but forgive me if I've got it wrong: we as a couple message you as a single female using a single female profile, chat, exchange pics, get on well and move towards arranging a meet. You then suggest you'd rather meet as a couple with your Dom and are we still interested. For us, no. That wasn't how we started the conversation. if however we had met you previously as a single fem, all played well together and you introduced the idea of a 4 some with your Dom, then possibly yes. If I've got the wrong end of the stick then please don't beat me with it! J x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that x"
sorry was on couple profile and posted.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted.. "
Ha ha that got confusing |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I think I understand this but forgive me if I've got it wrong: we as a couple message you as a single female using a single female profile, chat, exchange pics, get on well and move towards arranging a meet. You then suggest you'd rather meet as a couple with your Dom and are we still interested. For us, no. That wasn't how we started the conversation. if however we had met you previously as a single fem, all played well together and you introduced the idea of a 4 some with your Dom, then possibly yes. If I've got the wrong end of the stick then please don't beat me with it! J x"
no one can message me on my single profile right now i have filters on..no i was contemplating the thought of whether people who had expressed an interest in me as a single, would tolerate the idea of playing with me as part of a couple..even if had not met. if there was a difference in perception..the thread i fear has gone into explaining my personal dynamic..but hey ho..im learning what people consider, so its all good xx
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission . "
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted..
Ha ha that got confusing "
sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I understand this but forgive me if I've got it wrong: we as a couple message you as a single female using a single female profile, chat, exchange pics, get on well and move towards arranging a meet. You then suggest you'd rather meet as a couple with your Dom and are we still interested. For us, no. That wasn't how we started the conversation. if however we had met you previously as a single fem, all played well together and you introduced the idea of a 4 some with your Dom, then possibly yes. If I've got the wrong end of the stick then please don't beat me with it! J x no one can message me on my single profile right now i have filters on..no i was contemplating the thought of whether people who had expressed an interest in me as a single, would tolerate the idea of playing with me as part of a couple..even if had not met. if there was a difference in perception..the thread i fear has gone into explaining my personal dynamic..but hey ho..im learning what people consider, so its all good xx"
Depends on how much they wanted it |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted.. "
S'alright, knew it were you
So you are his sub bit "allowed" to play either straight sex or slight kink play, possibly leading to a sub sub role to us? Is this sort of what you are thinking or have I got it wrong, if so apologies as I've just polished off a bottle of Amaretto
S |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted..
S'alright, knew it were you
So you are his sub bit "allowed" to play either straight sex or slight kink play, possibly leading to a sub sub role to us? Is this sort of what you are thinking or have I got it wrong, if so apologies as I've just polished off a bottle of Amaretto
S"
you describe your desires to my Dom, and you work out a scene together incorporating what you like/ want with what we do..ill give you an example..maybe you like oral..but never had it done through cage bars...we could add that to the scene..get me?..its about imagination, what turns the guests on and us all having a good time..another example (which we have had,) nervous bi curious female wants to be played with, but wants control..so under 'instruction' (pre discussed), i play to her limits and she can say no more when she likes, allowing her to try something new and be in control with no pressure to go any further...see? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted..
S'alright, knew it were you
So you are his sub bit "allowed" to play either straight sex or slight kink play, possibly leading to a sub sub role to us? Is this sort of what you are thinking or have I got it wrong, if so apologies as I've just polished off a bottle of Amaretto
Syou describe your desires to my Dom, and you work out a scene together incorporating what you like/ want with what we do..ill give you an example..maybe you like oral..but never had it done through cage bars...we could add that to the scene..get me?..its about imagination, what turns the guests on and us all having a good time..another example (which we have had,) nervous bi curious female wants to be played with, but wants control..so under 'instruction' (pre discussed), i play to her limits and she can say no more when she likes, allowing her to try something new and be in control with no pressure to go any further...see? x"
I totally understand the dynamics of this your a star suzzy and if people don't see this now it's a crying shame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission . "
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission .
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me "
cool i get that, and appreciate your response x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would have to have a long conversation with him first,so I know where I stand and how much free rein I have. I wouldn't want to go and he's piping up every couple of minutes directing me,or getting in my way.
|
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"OK S here, I guess for us we would need a meet to ensure we are all thinking the same thing. There are very different levels of Sub/Dom play after all and finding us in a "The Dom picked you so here I am" scenario is not going to float our boat, we have been asked before. However if there was a mutual attraction then yes we would have no trouble with it but would be her under premade instruction by distance we wouldn't want the Dom there at the meet.
Hope this helps a bit
x
S mmm so the dynamic of play needs to be known and agreed etc beforehand, like you would on a swing meet, with limits etc etc being known beforehand, with someone you hadnt had dealings with as a single before..have i got that right?
I think limits always have to be ascertained before meeting in anything other than a straight sex "but between three people & a few toys..scenario" but they could be very general and ascertained during conversation not necessarily spoken of directly, if you are into the person it should almost be a known what you should & shouldn't do & what you can & cannot do. I think "No drawing blood unless from spanking, canes & the like" type instruction shouldn't be needed if you just watch & listen..before getting to the nitty gritty of it all..
Maybe i'm wrong but it's been a very long time since we did any fet stuff.
x
Sas i reiterated it would be a swing meet, no one does 'fet' stuff to me apart from my Dom..this would just be a sexy meet with the added dynamic that i was a sub for the evening..no one has to pick up a paddle or flogger or call me names or do anything they don't feel like doing, male or female..however, if you like the thought of a play meet with me being blindfolded or, at the beginning, being in a cage or restrained in cuffs or urged to pleasure you (m/f) etc, than its a chance to experience that xsorry was on couple profile and posted..
S'alright, knew it were you
So you are his sub bit "allowed" to play either straight sex or slight kink play, possibly leading to a sub sub role to us? Is this sort of what you are thinking or have I got it wrong, if so apologies as I've just polished off a bottle of Amaretto
Syou describe your desires to my Dom, and you work out a scene together incorporating what you like/ want with what we do..ill give you an example..maybe you like oral..but never had it done through cage bars...we could add that to the scene..get me?..its about imagination, what turns the guests on and us all having a good time..another example (which we have had,) nervous bi curious female wants to be played with, but wants control..so under 'instruction' (pre discussed), i play to her limits and she can say no more when she likes, allowing her to try something new and be in control with no pressure to go any further...see? x I totally understand the dynamics of this your a star suzzy and if people don't see this now it's a crying shame "
im just me, but thank you x |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I would have to have a long conversation with him first,so I know where I stand and how much free rein I have. I wouldn't want to go and he's piping up every couple of minutes directing me,or getting in my way.
"
hahaha |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission .
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me "
lovers no i dont need permission to meet..BDSM scenes though and other Doms, yes i do.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very simple answer from us Suzy.
Would we meet a couple because we fancied meeting the unicorn before she became part or a couple? Absolutely not.
We'd erase said unicorn from our dirty thoughts, evaluate the new couple and take it from there. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Very simple answer from us Suzy.
Would we meet a couple because we fancied meeting the unicorn before she became part or a couple? Absolutely not.
We'd erase said unicorn from our dirty thoughts, evaluate the new couple and take it from there."
interesting feedback..thank you xx |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission .
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me lovers no i dont need permission to meet..BDSM scenes though and other Doms, yes i do.."
Well as you know we are looking for just one or two fwbs, So for us this first option would be preferable at the start but we would never say never for anything else if it strikes a chord and lets just say we are intrigued at the moment..
x
S |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission .
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me lovers no i dont need permission to meet..BDSM scenes though and other Doms, yes i do..
Well as you know we are looking for just one or two fwbs, So for us this first option would be preferable at the start but we would never say never for anything else if it strikes a chord and lets just say we are intrigued at the moment..
x
S"
im not meeting anyone new as a single at the moment..men women or couples, i said i didnt need permission and i dont, just in case anyone sees any 'new veris' and thinks i was lying..which i dont..but im happy with what i have at this time...i have interest in you guys, i remember speaking to you when you first came to the forums, but for now, meeting as a couple, is the way forward for me. however, indirectly, you answered my original OP, and for that i thank you xx |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"although applicable to myself ive generalised the question...
you'd like to meet this bi single woman, she forms a couple profile and they invite you to come play with her, while shes being dommed. (no bi mm play) would you still want and go and meet and play with her?
does it make a difference to you, and if so, why?
Absolutely Not, may not be de rigueur on this site but I personally don't like sexually woman domination and certainly wouldn't want to meet a lady who was taking instruction/permission from a third party, man or woman.
I know it's "each unto their own" but for me sex should be a joy and I see no joy in sex with a women who can't commit without permission.
Have you thought that maybe the joy for her is that she doesnt want to commit without permission .
Thought OP was asking what our thoughts were? What I'm saying is that I wouldn't have sex or a liaison with a woman who wasn't either fully committed and who didn't need permission/instruction from a third party.
If you or whoever else is happy with that type of dynamic, great, just not for me lovers no i dont need permission to meet..BDSM scenes though and other Doms, yes i do..
Well as you know we are looking for just one or two fwbs, So for us this first option would be preferable at the start but we would never say never for anything else if it strikes a chord and lets just say we are intrigued at the moment..
x
Sim not meeting anyone new as a single at the moment..men women or couples, i said i didnt need permission and i dont, just in case anyone sees any 'new veris' and thinks i was lying..which i dont..but im happy with what i have at this time...i have interest in you guys, i remember speaking to you when you first came to the forums, but for now, meeting as a couple, is the way forward for me. however, indirectly, you answered my original OP, and for that i thank you xx"
You are more than welcome, we don't make a big note of veries, it just means that someone was further down the road than we were in the planning, maybe a bit closer geographically or for some just in the right place at the right time.
Glad we could sort of help, even if my ramblings/questions did seem to take over your thread a bit
x Interest is mutual by the way x
S |
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Lots of interesting responses.
For me I enjoy additional males (preferably Doms) being added to our dynamic. Not yet tried with additional females but working towards that.
It's not really about permission as such, it's more about the new guy/Dom respecting the relationship which already exists rather than trying to take over.
My Dom is totally able to play second fiddle to a more experienced Dominant, while still retaining control over my limits for my enjoyment and safety.
It's all about mutual respect. |
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