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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, I was at a swingers club after a long break from the swinging scene this weekend. Where is the love? People standing around drinking , chatting, lots of small talk with barely any real flirting going on , no WARMTH, no affection... Sure, there were some people playing, and it was cold , mechanical , robotic, porn-style fucking. No hugging, no kissing, no real chemistry, no romance, basically the entire scene was just dead-inside people bumping uglies. What would the hippies from the 60's have to say about all this??? I'd really like to hear from older swingers if it was always like this. Or do most modern swingers automatically assume that you have to be part of the "Polyamory Crowd" to be able to feel any real passion or positive uplifting feelings and emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Err but I'm a swinger. I have un planned (sometimes) planned sexual encounters with strangers. I'm not there to ask you how your day is / how you pay your bills or if the dog recovered from his op.
It's just pure sex for me, no connection ~ on a higher level no "love" just pure sex.
This may sound strange coming from a female. But for me it's pure sex. If I wanted love and connection I'd be on a dating site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I was at a swingers club after a long break from the swinging scene this weekend. Where is the love? People standing around drinking , chatting, lots of small talk with barely any real flirting going on , no WARMTH, no affection... Sure, there were some people playing, and it was cold , mechanical , robotic, porn-style fucking. No hugging, no kissing, no real chemistry, no romance, basically the entire scene was just dead-inside people bumping uglies. What would the hippies from the 60's have to say about all this??? I'd really like to hear from older swingers if it was always like this. Or do most modern swingers automatically assume that you have to be part of the "Polyamory Crowd" to be able to feel any real passion or positive uplifting feelings and emotions."
If you're looking for romance, i'd suggest a swingers club would be the absolute last place you'd look for it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Err but I'm a swinger. I have un planned (sometimes) planned sexual encounters with strangers. I'm not there to ask you how your day is / how you pay your bills or if the dog recovered from his op.
It's just pure sex for me, no connection ~ on a higher level no "love" just pure sex.
This may sound strange coming from a female. But for me it's pure sex. If I wanted love and connection I'd be on a dating site. "
I agree with this.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Err but I'm a swinger. I have un planned (sometimes) planned sexual encounters with strangers. I'm not there to ask you how your day is / how you pay your bills or if the dog recovered from his op.
It's just pure sex for me, no connection ~ on a higher level no "love" just pure sex.
This may sound strange coming from a female. But for me it's pure sex. If I wanted love and connection I'd be on a dating site.
I agree with this. "
And here......maybe you should be looking at dating sites OP? |
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The hippies from the 60 and 70s were totaly different types of people, nicer i would say, less hang ups, not materialistic, not so serious. It was a different world back then. As it was in the early 80s. A lot of the times meeting men for sex has been quite like you have described, in some ways. People seem to take themselves and this lifestyle too seriously. They watch so much hard porn and think they have to copy it, act like its some sort of competition, like they have something to prove instead of just being themselves and doing it because they enjoy it nothing else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I was at a swingers club after a long break from the swinging scene this weekend. Where is the love? People standing around drinking , chatting, lots of small talk with barely any real flirting going on , no WARMTH, no affection... Sure, there were some people playing, and it was cold , mechanical , robotic, porn-style fucking. No hugging, no kissing, no real chemistry, no romance, basically the entire scene was just dead-inside people bumping uglies. What would the hippies from the 60's have to say about all this??? I'd really like to hear from older swingers if it was always like this. Or do most modern swingers automatically assume that you have to be part of the "Polyamory Crowd" to be able to feel any real passion or positive uplifting feelings and emotions.
If you're looking for romance, i'd suggest a swingers club would be the absolute last place you'd look for it..."
I think OP is talking about passion more than romance. It can be lacking although I'd say it's more down to individuals than a cultural feature of any clubs we've been to. We definitely prefer intimacy (not romance) when swinging and are not a fan of the 'face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck' crowd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're looking for romance, i'd suggest a swingers club would be the absolute last place you'd look for it...
I think OP is talking about passion more than romance. It can be lacking although I'd say it's more down to individuals than a cultural feature of any clubs we've been to. We definitely prefer intimacy (not romance) when swinging and are not a fan of the 'face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck' crowd. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I was at a swingers club after a long break from the swinging scene this weekend. Where is the love? People standing around drinking , chatting, lots of small talk with barely any real flirting going on , no WARMTH, no affection... Sure, there were some people playing, and it was cold , mechanical , robotic, porn-style fucking. No hugging, no kissing, no real chemistry, no romance, basically the entire scene was just dead-inside people bumping uglies. What would the hippies from the 60's have to say about all this??? I'd really like to hear from older swingers if it was always like this. Or do most modern swingers automatically assume that you have to be part of the "Polyamory Crowd" to be able to feel any real passion or positive uplifting feelings and emotions.
If you're looking for romance, i'd suggest a swingers club would be the absolute last place you'd look for it..."
He's looking for passion, and when I was meeting that's what I wanted, not mechanical fucking with no kissing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The hippies from the 60 and 70s were totaly different types of people, nicer i would say, less hang ups, not materialistic, not so serious. It was a different world back then. As it was in the early 80s. A lot of the times meeting men for sex has been quite like you have described, in some ways. People seem to take themselves and this lifestyle too seriously. They watch so much hard porn and think they have to copy it, act like its some sort of competition, like they have something to prove instead of just being themselves and doing it because they enjoy it nothing else."
This is exactly what I was getting at . Thanks for this. |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Err but I'm a swinger. I have un planned (sometimes) planned sexual encounters with strangers. I'm not there to ask you how your day is / how you pay your bills or if the dog recovered from his op.
It's just pure sex for me, no connection ~ on a higher level no "love" just pure sex.
This may sound strange coming from a female. But for me it's pure sex. If I wanted love and connection I'd be on a dating site. "
I think that I need to get myself to Bournemouth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So, I was at a swingers club after a long break from the swinging scene this weekend. Where is the love? People standing around drinking , chatting, lots of small talk with barely any real flirting going on , no WARMTH, no affection... Sure, there were some people playing, and it was cold , mechanical , robotic, porn-style fucking. No hugging, no kissing, no real chemistry, no romance, basically the entire scene was just dead-inside people bumping uglies. What would the hippies from the 60's have to say about all this??? I'd really like to hear from older swingers if it was always like this. Or do most modern swingers automatically assume that you have to be part of the "Polyamory Crowd" to be able to feel any real passion or positive uplifting feelings and emotions.
If you're looking for romance, i'd suggest a swingers club would be the absolute last place you'd look for it...
He's looking for passion, and when I was meeting that's what I wanted, not mechanical fucking with no kissing. "
yes , exactly. passion and joy. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Swinging has nothing to do with love it never has, even hippies in the 60s did not have love each other to engage in sex with others.
That does not mean it does not or did not exist at the same time but simply love and sex are different things.
In a similar way it does not mean there is not a sexual attraction or lust for another's body.
Kising does not express love it expresses wanting and often lust after another.
If you want romance there are a number of books we could suggest you read |
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"Swinging has nothing to do with love it never has, even hippies in the 60s did not have love each other to engage in sex with others.
That does not mean it does not or did not exist at the same time but simply love and sex are different things.
In a similar way it does not mean there is not a sexual attraction or lust for another's body.
Kising does not express love it expresses wanting and often lust after another.
If you want romance there are a number of books we could suggest you read"
No the hippies didnt love each other of course they didnt it was just casual sex. I have enjoyed having sex with men i didnt really like, i dont think the poster was just thinking of romance or that he needs to go on a dating site either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I go to a swingers club there's small talk, talk about the swinger scene and then a lot of fucking.
I like the social side of swinging, but I certainly don't go for romance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex feels good. Wanking gets the same end result, but sex feels better. So those that think there is no connection and it's just 'sex' are kidding them selves. It's not romance, no. It's not love, as that's found somewhere else.
But you can't just shag someone, pull your pants up and say thanks and walk off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex feels good. Wanking gets the same end result, but sex feels better. So those that think there is no connection and it's just 'sex' are kidding them selves."
Some swingers effectively end up masterbating each others genitals! Gotta have that kissing for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex feels good. Wanking gets the same end result, but sex feels better. So those that think there is no connection and it's just 'sex' are kidding them selves.
Some swingers effectively end up masterbating each others genitals! Gotta have that kissing for me "
There's nothing like a good song.  |
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