FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > rejection, how do u handle it
rejection, how do u handle it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tonight we was out with some vanilla friends. Which great meal and drinks ( well ) as I'm on call
A guy came up chatting as you do and asked me out for a "date" I was flattered of course who wouldn't be, but I turned him down explaining I wasn't looking for a date etc. Which he replied. "U should say yes" I said no thanks I'm not interested. He replied calling me a whore lol
Made me think about rejection
So rejection how do u handle it? Vanilla or swinging
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol thats fantastic
your a whore - meaning you pump everybody - so the slur whore wouldnt really befit you after you turning down such a stud
oh dear - tickles me - im sorry its not nice - what tickles me is just that bizarre attitude of adonis like confidence that has no merit to reality
he should take a leaf form the wrold of hip hop
the definition of a ho and a bitch
a ho fucks everybody
a bitch fucks everybody but you!
so you should have corrected him and said actually im not a whore im a bitch - ta very much
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get turned down, as I suppose a lot of you do on here.
We just forget about it and move on. Just don't think it's worth dwelling on about it.
Of course, we reject people too, and hope they feel the same way, and can move on too 
We've been together for 30yrs and both of us were just out of relationships where we were dumped, so I suppose we didn't really have time to feel too dejected |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Made us all laugh for ages
When we went I actually said loud enough 4 the place to hear
He was that small we needed a mircoscope to see it
His mates was ribbing him after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Made us all laugh for ages
When we went I actually said loud enough 4 the place to hear
He was that small we needed a mircoscope to see it
His mates was ribbing him after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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being rejected doesn't automatically give them a licence to be rude, it costs nothing to be polite, it's down to their attitude.
i don't really approach ladies, i let them chase after me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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rejections just something you have to deal with
Noones for everyone and we all know that so why get peed off if someone say no thanks and im sure we have all said no thanks to others
To be honest i dont really get a great deal of rejection simply because i never make the first move on people, on here, in clubs or vanilla life, everyone i meet or play with have approched me first so they not likely to turn me down when its them who asked me
But it has happened in the past, but i say no thanks to enough people so what gives me the rights to get stroppy at someone for doing what i do? |
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
We would wish for some people to be more forthcoming in their communications. A straight forward " I am not / no longer interested" would go down much better than 4 weeks of non-communication, not answering mails, or just deleting their profile !
We always send a polite no thanks to mails, just so we all know where we stand.
Jane x |
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Have to say i would imagine how your rejected would also depend on your response. If your nice to someone and they told you to fuck of or laughed at you or mocked you that wouldnt do someones ego much good |
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"We would wish for some people to be more forthcoming in their communications. A straight forward " I am not / no longer interested" would go down much better than 4 weeks of non-communication, not answering mails, or just deleting their profile !
We always send a polite no thanks to mails, just so we all know where we stand.
Jane x"
Yeah I said the same thing a couple of days ago and was told in no uncertain terms that it takes too long to reply to everyone! I think its just idle and ill mannered. Takes no time to paste a sorry no thanks x into the definite nonos and everyone knows where they stand or is let down a little easier |
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"We would wish for some people to be more forthcoming in their communications. A straight forward " I am not / no longer interested" would go down much better than 4 weeks of non-communication, not answering mails, or just deleting their profile !
We always send a polite no thanks to mails, just so we all know where we stand.
Jane x
Yeah I said the same thing a couple of days ago and was told in no uncertain terms that it takes too long to reply to everyone! I think its just idle and ill mannered. Takes no time to paste a sorry no thanks x into the definite nonos and everyone knows where they stand or is let down a little easier"
well with an attitude like that no wonder your not getting anywhere. Maybe some people have better things to do than reply to people they dont want to meet |
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"We would wish for some people to be more forthcoming in their communications. A straight forward " I am not / no longer interested" would go down much better than 4 weeks of non-communication, not answering mails, or just deleting their profile !
We always send a polite no thanks to mails, just so we all know where we stand.
Jane x
Yeah I said the same thing a couple of days ago and was told in no uncertain terms that it takes too long to reply to everyone! I think its just idle and ill mannered. Takes no time to paste a sorry no thanks x into the definite nonos and everyone knows where they stand or is let down a little easier
well with an attitude like that no wonder your not getting anywhere. Maybe some people have better things to do than reply to people they dont want to meet"
Ooooooooooerrrr Blimey! tough crowd tonight!  |
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"We would wish for some people to be more forthcoming in their communications. A straight forward " I am not / no longer interested" would go down much better than 4 weeks of non-communication, not answering mails, or just deleting their profile !
We always send a polite no thanks to mails, just so we all know where we stand.
Jane x
Yeah I said the same thing a couple of days ago and was told in no uncertain terms that it takes too long to reply to everyone! I think its just idle and ill mannered. Takes no time to paste a sorry no thanks x into the definite nonos and everyone knows where they stand or is let down a little easier
well with an attitude like that no wonder your not getting anywhere. Maybe some people have better things to do than reply to people they dont want to meet"
And who says I'm not getting anywhere? I'm doing well enough thanks, after all I didn't think its a who gets most shags competition site. Manners cost nothing is all I was saying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am aways polite even when rejecting someone. Until I have to fight mu corner 
On here I won't reply to people who don't match it via message and chatrooms ill tell them straight
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's not an insult, it is a matter of taste an no point in getting het up about it
you have to accept that you are not always going to be seen as attractive to those who you find attractive
my other half despite being gym fit himself only finds chubby men attractive - he would balk at another fit guy trying it on with him
and that's what i say, it's all just subjective ! |
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I am not backwards at being forwards... if I see someone I like at a club or a party I'm quite happy to go up and make it known. Over the years I have experienced being on the receiving end of a 'no thanks' a few times.... and in all honestly I didn't think anything much about it. They have the same right to choose as I do.
I tend to find the people who take rejection the worst are the people who have a low opinion of you/your appearance and think they are doing to a favour.... so the deal must be in the bag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection can be the worst thing in the world"
Oh do get a grip and some perspective!
I'm sure everyone reading this can come up with something worst than being told "no thanks!"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I tend to find the people who take rejection the worst are the people who have a low opinion of you/your appearance and think they are doing to a favour.... so the deal must be in the bag."
I agree there. The guy must have thought "she's big and won't say no"
I know my taste in men  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Tonight we was out with some vanilla friends. Which great meal and drinks ( well ) as I'm on call
A guy came up chatting as you do and asked me out for a "date" I was flattered of course who wouldn't be, but I turned him down explaining I wasn't looking for a date etc. Which he replied. "U should say yes" I said no thanks I'm not interested. He replied calling me a whore lol
Made me think about rejection
So rejection how do u handle it? Vanilla or swinging
X "
That happened in a pub? wow, some nasty people near you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection can be the worst thing in the world
Oh do get a grip and some perspective!
I'm sure everyone reading this can come up with something worst than being told "no thanks!" "
Paying a bill tops rejection for me |
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"Rejection can be the worst thing in the world
Oh do get a grip and some perspective!
I'm sure everyone reading this can come up with something worst than being told "no thanks!" "
Being poked in the eye
Stubbing your toe
Being told “sorry we don’t have those shoes in your size”
Just fancying a bowl of cereal and finding out there’s no milk
Accidentally treading on a frog and squishing it
The air-conditioning breaking in your car
A flat tyre on the A34
Tesco’s Chinese Style Curry Sauce…. it’s rank!
Finding skids in your playmates boxers
Having a filling
Cleaning the outside drains
Poking a nail through a new pair of hold-ups
Finding a dead fish in the pond
Earwigs
Finding out the new pack of loo roll is still downstairs, after the point of no return.
A puncture in your double airbed
Paper cuts
A leaky shampoo bottle in your shopping bag
Being on Jeremy Kyle
Blisters
Smudging your nail varnish before it has dried
Bird shit on your car
Cramp
Burnt (sorry I mean incinerated) BBQ food
Running out of toothpaste
Someone telling you the plot of a film as you are watching it
To name but a few. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection can be the worst thing in the world
Oh do get a grip and some perspective!
I'm sure everyone reading this can come up with something worst than being told "no thanks!"
Being poked in the eye
Stubbing your toe
Being told “sorry we don’t have those shoes in your size”
Just fancying a bowl of cereal and finding out there’s no milk
Accidentally treading on a frog and squishing it
The air-conditioning breaking in your car
A flat tyre on the A34
Tesco’s Chinese Style Curry Sauce…. it’s rank!
Finding skids in your playmates boxers
Having a filling
Cleaning the outside drains
Poking a nail through a new pair of hold-ups
Finding a dead fish in the pond
Earwigs
Finding out the new pack of loo roll is still downstairs, after the point of no return.
A puncture in your double airbed
Paper cuts
A leaky shampoo bottle in your shopping bag
Being on Jeremy Kyle
Blisters
Smudging your nail varnish before it has dried
Bird shit on your car
Cramp
Burnt (sorry I mean incinerated) BBQ food
Running out of toothpaste
Someone telling you the plot of a film as you are watching it
To name but a few."
...see: perspective! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tonight we was out with some vanilla friends. Which great meal and drinks ( well ) as I'm on call
A guy came up chatting as you do and asked me out for a "date" I was flattered of course who wouldn't be, but I turned him down explaining I wasn't looking for a date etc. Which he replied. "U should say yes" I said no thanks I'm not interested. He replied calling me a whore lol
Made me think about rejection
So rejection how do u handle it? Vanilla or swinging
X
That happened in a pub? wow, some nasty people near you."
Its the era some have manners some don't!
Doesn't bother me as I said no lol
Just made me think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FFS I can't understand people who would react in such a way, what gives them the right to force their wants and opinions over others that the have only just met. I say "only just met" as I appreciate in some S&M relationships it is something that both parties enjoy.
If a lass or couple say no to me I take it graciously and while I don't run away with my tail between my legs I will be polite and not ignore them just for that.
Bring back National Service that used instill a bit of respect for others in folk lol  |
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Rejection sucks, but it's all part of being a man in the dating game.
I think it gets easier as men get older or at least it has for me, because the older i get, the less i care about what someone who hardly knows me thinks about me. Besides, until i know someone well i have no idea whetherer she's a full on fruitcake bunny boiler or a decent woman worth having in my life. Quite often a rejection may be a blessing in disguise  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't be to everyone's taste..
Everyone gets knocked back from time to time,it's part of the game.
Though we have had people get really offended when we have said a polite no thanks in clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection sucks, but it's all part of being a man in the dating game.
I think it gets easier as men get older or at least it has for me, because the older i get, the less i care about what someone who hardly knows me thinks about me. Besides, until i know someone well i have no idea whetherer she's a full on fruitcake bunny boiler or a decent woman worth having in my life. Quite often a rejection may be a blessing in disguise "
Oooooo hark at you! Good for you turning a negative into a positive!  |
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I get rejected here, a lot, as I suspect will most blokes. Its always nice to receive a short "no thanks" e mail, but I know people can be swamped, so it's no big deal at all if I dont.
I would never in a million years dream of sending a nasty e mail if I was told no. I cant seE why anyone would be that uptight about it, or so far up themselves, to do so. Just man up & move on those losers! |
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i stamp my feet , scream and shout, demand to know why dont you like me? why wont you meet me?? why???
lol only joking, everyone has their own personal taste and requirements, deal with it and move on. we arnt for everyone as some arnt for us. simple really
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
The way you handle rejection says a lot about yourself and you own stuff, your insecurities... as some have stated, nobody can be liked by everybody... so I take a rejection in that spirit and move on |
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"Oooooo hark at you! Good for you turning a negative into a positive! "
lol, well i've been doing well lately so i'm quite satisfied in terms of my sexual needs. I'm sure i'm pretty capable of turning into a full on grump given the right (or wrong) circumstances.
I've been thinking about this today and it made me realise that all men have a sort of pain threshold when it comes to being rejected by women. There's usually X amount of times it can happen to a bloke before they either vent or go home, sulk, write bad poetry and become a goth.
The threshold can vary from person to person but it also depends on whats happened to him romantically. Ie. If he's recently been dumped by his girlfriend, his pain threshold for rejection is going to be be a lot lower than say, a guy who's got a regular fuck buddy.
Thing is though, i strongly believe that a man needs to go through X amount of rejections by women before finding someone for a relationship. It's a bit like training for a sport and getting subtley stronger each time you go through a pain barrier. Eventually everything magically falls into place and you get to where you want to be. |
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We handle with a shrug and "oh well, ...NEXT!" However, there are a few on Fab, usually the bloke of couple who have insisted on knowing why we've said no and who it was that put us off? Which is a really unfair question and not one we are going to answer.
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"We handle with a shrug and "oh well, ...NEXT!" However, there are a few on Fab, usually the bloke of couple who have insisted on knowing why we've said no and who it was that put us off? Which is a really unfair question and not one we are going to answer.
"
that is an unfair question.. thankfully we have come across that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i hope you threw your drink all over him.
what an arsehole.
Wouldn't waste good wine over someone's head. "
this is true. but id of had a word with him if i was there.
unacceptable way to talk to a woman. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i hope you threw your drink all over him.
what an arsehole.
Wouldn't waste good wine over someone's head.
this is true. but id of had a word with him if i was there.
unacceptable way to talk to a woman."
Nowdays its classed as the norm. I wonder if I'd be a whore if I did say yes lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As soon as you start taking rejection to heart, is the day you should give up! Whether in everyday life situations or, in the swinging world, you simply cannot be 'everyones cup of tea'! I always move on, with a smile still on my face & continue to enjoy myself! If it's not Fun, then it's not worth it! |
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Well he was obviously a right pillock. Must have been past his bedtime. Being told by someone that they arnt interested in a date/meeting/play or whatever is part of life, no need to react by using pathetic insults.
Manners cost nothing whatsoever and bring a more pleasant world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If I reject on here I say no thanks. In a pubic place I say no thanks
I think as I'm big he thought I needed a pity date (as if)
Yet today in the pub by the beach I was given a compliment which made me blush and he was a generally nice bloke |
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