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Family..
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"Same here. I live my kids but at the ages they are i just wish they would man up and do more. I would love my own space xx" Me to  | |||
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"Jeez i only ask them for twenty quid a week each and i cant get that,thats their food,washing,everything,yet they both work i know i am to soft but ive had them from babies so i feel responsible for them." I know what you mean, like understand how you feel but they're taking the Mickey. They have a responsibility to you and they are men now not babies, you're implicitly giving them the impression that women look after men too. | |||
"Jeez i only ask them for twenty quid a week each and i cant get that,thats their food,washing,everything,yet they both work i know i am to soft but ive had them from babies so i feel responsible for them. I know what you mean, like understand how you feel but they're taking the Mickey. They have a responsibility to you and they are men now not babies, you're implicitly giving them the impression that women look after men too." ... And how am i doing that ,what a load of rubbish,i am their aunt not their girlfriend,dont turn the thread into something else,family is different . | |||
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"I get your situation completely, and the binding lack of freedom can drive you mad at times, longterm your situation doesn't sound fair something needs to change, short term, you could do with a holiday" You got it in one lol  | |||
"I understand completely, I now live alone and it is great. I love the independence. I would suggest some ground rules and boundaries though. It's so difficult doing this with family you love." .. It is when its family you cant throw them out on the street,but i tell them off till i am blue in the face,and it falls on deaf ears.. | |||
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"Good morning,does anyone else have family members living with them,apart from their spose or partner,i have my mum and two nephews and i long for peace and quiet,but got no chance with my lot,as much as i love them i sometimes wish i lived alone,and thats not being selfish just honest.I do everything for them and feel like i am the cleaner, cook etc,but with the cost of property and rent it dosent seem like i will ever get rid of them,i am carer to mum so thats understandable,but the two lads gawd murder not lads men as they are 22 and 25 what would you do."Don't you have a lodger too? I remember you mentioning him on another thread where you said he was reclusive and you wanted to get him out dating? You definately have hands full! | |||
"Jeez i only ask them for twenty quid a week each and i cant get that,thats their food,washing,everything,yet they both work i know i am to soft but ive had them from babies so i feel responsible for them." What exactly do you mean by "can't get that"? It's very simple, person a gives person b £20 or person b does not get feeding, cleaning and washing services from person a. Why do you carry on if they don't give it to you? Have you ever tried going through the checkout of Tesco and saying "hey, I'll pay you next week" | |||
"Good morning,does anyone else have family members living with them,apart from their spose or partner,i have my mum and two nephews and i long for peace and quiet,but got no chance with my lot,as much as i love them i sometimes wish i lived alone,and thats not being selfish just honest.I do everything for them and feel like i am the cleaner, cook etc,but with the cost of property and rent it dosent seem like i will ever get rid of them,i am carer to mum so thats understandable,but the two lads gawd murder not lads men as they are 22 and 25 what would you do.
Don't you have a lodger too? I remember you mentioning him on another thread where you said he was reclusive and you wanted to get him out dating?
You definately have hands full!"Yes i did but he left to travel | |||
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"Sometimes it can be harder when it's families. But you are not doing them any favours by letting them stay free gratis. They will only end up in the real world one day and be miffed why they have to pay their way" Very true . | |||
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"Sometimes it can be harder when it's families. But you are not doing them any favours by letting them stay free gratis. They will only end up in the real world one day and be miffed why they have to pay their way Very true ." So if you agree, are you going to make a change? | |||
"Sometimes it can be harder when it's families. But you are not doing them any favours by letting them stay free gratis. They will only end up in the real world one day and be miffed why they have to pay their way Very true . So if you agree, are you going to make a change? " Got to be cruel to be kind | |||
"Good morning,does anyone else have family members living with them,apart from their spose or partner,i have my mum and two nephews and i long for peace and quiet,but got no chance with my lot,as much as i love them i sometimes wish i lived alone,and thats not being selfish just honest.I do everything for them and feel like i am the cleaner, cook etc,but with the cost of property and rent it dosent seem like i will ever get rid of them,i am carer to mum so thats understandable,but the two lads gawd murder not lads men as they are 22 and 25 what would you do."Hi miss p, I would have a word and ask them to help out more and see what their long term plans are? Thy are adults,is getting a place together not an option? I totally inderstand your need for space and think you need to have a chat to them and give them a time period to find somewhere else. Good luck Miss | |||
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"Jeez i only ask them for twenty quid a week each and i cant get that,thats their food,washing,everything,yet they both work i know i am to soft but ive had them from babies so i feel responsible for them." being responsible is about making them self responsible..so work out what that is..their own flat? paying you more and a rosta or whatever..why are you doing this to yourself, who do you think its helping? would they do it for you? ( clue the answert to that third question is no, because they arent doing it already) have a family meeting after youve worked out what you need and want..thats teaching others how to respect and love other people..thats being responsible..good luck x | |||
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"No offence miss p,but if they have it too easy with you,they will never leave. Miss" I agree with this.. why would they even consider moving into a place of their own when they are paying a peppercorn rent plus they have someone doing their housekeeping for for free? It's a no brainer... for them, that is  | |||
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"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways." i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. | |||
"Jeez i only ask them for twenty quid a week each and i cant get that,thats their food,washing,everything,yet they both work i know i am to soft but ive had them from babies so i feel responsible for them. I know what you mean, like understand how you feel but they're taking the Mickey. They have a responsibility to you and they are men now not babies, you're implicitly giving them the impression that women look after men too.... And how am i doing that ,what a load of rubbish,i am their aunt not their girlfriend,dont turn the thread into something else,family is different ." I agree there, my sons are working full time, I am not, it's reasonable for me to do things for them. I do stuff for them but they can also do it themselves if they need to and they don't expect their girlfriends to look after them. | |||
"They are ok with me having people here,but its my house so they cant say nothing,i cant stop my fun because of them two." I thought mine might not like it because their dad passed away, but they are cool with FWB coming. XX | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect." The tough side of suzy! Who knew!? You're just full of surprises | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways." It's probably because it's what they have got used to. Maybe try to change things gradually. It all depends if you are happy to do the washing ect, it's not for anyone to say you shouldn't. It's your family not anyone else's. Though they should contribute financially in some way, even if it's just buying some of the food. X | |||
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"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. The tough side of suzy! Who knew!? You're just full of surprises "single parent male/female balance..most things to most people and a rock..consistently so..thats ma character..and my kids love me for it...im so blessed x | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect." No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. " | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. " well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? | |||
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"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you?" ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress  | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress "The stress that they cause?  | |||
"My two are the nicest ,cleanest,well mannered young men that you could wish to meet,and i feel proud the way i have raised them,its just their money they wont part with,ive showed them hundreds of times how to cook and use the washing machine,they can just manage the hoover." thats bullshit and you know it..both my sons cook.. do their own washing and both hoover. only one lives with me now, hes nearly 16, he got a summer job and whilst i ferried him back and forth he paid the petrol money..i support them when they help themselves, im not a doormat..i am incredibly proud of their achievements, but if they dont like the rules in my house, they can go find somewhere else to live... | |||
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"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? "Lol yes probably | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? "they dont know that, cos youve never told them.. | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? they dont know that, cos youve never told them..".. Yes i blame myself but when you got two toddlers that nobody wanted and were going to be put in care,ive tried hard to give them a good life and have been mother and father to them ,but i agree fully that now they are men they should do more fof themselves. | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? they dont know that, cos youve never told them.... Yes i blame myself but when you got two toddlers that nobody wanted and were going to be put in care,ive tried hard to give them a good life and have been mother and father to them ,but i agree fully that now they are men they should do more fof themselves."you gave them a wonderful hom and li#fe you were awesome..no doubt.. but dont over compensate for what youve already done for them...you are not now abandoning them, you are going to let out the leash and let them feel empowered within a wider world..they will always remember what you did, teach them now how to fly as self sufficient young men that they are..let you become a perch instead of the nest and smile when you see them grown and build nests of their own..one day they will thank you for instilling in them that confidence..especially when they share with you their own families, to which the same cycle will happen ..just dont wear yourself out in the process xx | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? they dont know that, cos youve never told them.... Yes i blame myself but when you got two toddlers that nobody wanted and were going to be put in care,ive tried hard to give them a good life and have been mother and father to them ,but i agree fully that now they are men they should do more fof themselves.you gave them a wonderful hom and li#fe you were awesome..no doubt.. but dont over compensate for what youve already done for them...you are not now abandoning them, you are going to let out the leash and let them feel empowered within a wider world..they will always remember what you did, teach them now how to fly as self sufficient young men that they are..let you become a perch instead of the nest and smile when you see them grown and build nests of their own..one day they will thank you for instilling in them that confidence..especially when they share with you their own families, to which the same cycle will happen ..just dont wear yourself out in the process xx"..Thankyou i do and will try harder to be,tougher with them,one is off cycling around the world in november and ive done nothing but fret since he told me i would rather him be here and do everything for him ,as i shall worry myself stupid that he will be ok . | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? they dont know that, cos youve never told them.... Yes i blame myself but when you got two toddlers that nobody wanted and were going to be put in care,ive tried hard to give them a good life and have been mother and father to them ,but i agree fully that now they are men they should do more fof themselves.you gave them a wonderful hom and li#fe you were awesome..no doubt.. but dont over compensate for what youve already done for them...you are not now abandoning them, you are going to let out the leash and let them feel empowered within a wider world..they will always remember what you did, teach them now how to fly as self sufficient young men that they are..let you become a perch instead of the nest and smile when you see them grown and build nests of their own..one day they will thank you for instilling in them that confidence..especially when they share with you their own families, to which the same cycle will happen ..just dont wear yourself out in the process xx"This is just one persons opinion . You're doing great op and just be who u are . Read others advice but always follow your own path . | |||
"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowers for being you? ..Not flowers but an adult colouring book as they said it to relieve my stress
The stress that they cause? they dont know that, cos youve never told them.... Yes i blame myself but when you got two toddlers that nobody wanted and were going to be put in care,ive tried hard to give them a good life and have been mother and father to them ,but i agree fully that now they are men they should do more fof themselves.you gave them a wonderful hom and li#fe you were awesome..no doubt.. but dont over compensate for what youve already done for them...you are not now abandoning them, you are going to let out the leash and let them feel empowered within a wider world..they will always remember what you did, teach them now how to fly as self sufficient young men that they are..let you become a perch instead of the nest and smile when you see them grown and build nests of their own..one day they will thank you for instilling in them that confidence..especially when they share with you their own families, to which the same cycle will happen ..just dont wear yourself out in the process xx
This is just one persons opinion .
You're doing great op and just be who u are .
Read others advice but always follow your own path . "correct..its my path that ive taken and noone should ewalk anothers path..so you do as you like op..and very good luck to you... | |||
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"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x" | |||
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"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x "just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this  | |||
"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this "..They both work and have done since they were old enough to,yes they do have it easy here i will agree with you,but with the cost of housing,rent etc what chance have youngsters today got. | |||
"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this "Don't agree with you there, all my sons are working hard full time, one is renting his own flat. So maybe some have it easy but others are working for it. X | |||
"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this "I'm not roasting you just pointing out that what you say is wrong. Both our kids live independently, support themselves and pay their way they're 25 and 27. Our son sometimes works 80 hours a week and our daughter had two jobs until recently to save up. I work with young people who study all week and work evenings and weekends. You should have said "some of the youth of today have it too, too easy" | |||
"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this ..They both work and have done since they were old enough to,yes they do have it easy here i will agree with you,but with the cost of housing,rent etc what chance have youngsters today got."We have ADULTS younger than that at work and they all live away from home, paying all their own bills. Subsidising them is not preparing them for life so consequently they'll never be fit to leave home. That said, I don't know what the real answer is as they are family so it's hard to be too tough on them. But, you're their family too! Personally, I think they're taking the kids. | |||
"I'm sure that they appreciate all you do.....have a day/night/afternoon every week or so for yourself....go visit a friend....go for a sauna or whatever you fancy that's just for you and switch your phone off and relax x just this miss p they are both grown men an should long ago have found there feet at 15 I was living independent life working as a chef in a live in position I know we are not all the same but the youth of today have it to to easy I know Im going to get roasted for this ..They both work and have done since they were old enough to,yes they do have it easy here i will agree with you,but with the cost of housing,rent etc what chance have youngsters today got.
We have ADULTS younger than that at work and they all live away from home, paying all their own bills.
Subsidising them is not preparing them for life so consequently they'll never be fit to leave home.
That said, I don't know what the real answer is as they are family so it's hard to be too tough on them. But, you're their family too! Personally, I think they're taking the kids."Taking the kids? | |||
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"I respect everyones _iews on this thread,some i agree with and some not,but i know ive done my best with these two guys ,yes ive spoilt them rotten,but if i had been blessed with my own children then maybe these two lads would have been put into care and goodness knows what would have happened to them,one is an accountant and has passed every exam so far,and the other has started a removal buisness and doing well,so i must have done something right.everything happens for a reason,but one thing i can say is i am very proud of them both. " I can understand you being proud of them. But surely, if they're doing so well, they can afford to give you some money towards the house. £20 is nothing, I paid £50 per week, years ago when I still lived at home. | |||
"I respect everyones _iews on this thread,some i agree with and some not,but i know ive done my best with these two guys ,yes ive spoilt them rotten,but if i had been blessed with my own children then maybe these two lads would have been put into care and goodness knows what would have happened to them,one is an accountant and has passed every exam so far,and the other has started a removal buisness and doing well,so i must have done something right.everything happens for a reason,but one thing i can say is i am very proud of them both. I can understand you being proud of them. But surely, if they're doing so well, they can afford to give you some money towards the house. £20 is nothing, I paid £50 per week, years ago when I still lived at home... Yes they can afford it i ask all the time ,but they pay.for a couple of weeks then stop again. " | |||
"I respect everyones _iews on this thread,some i agree with and some not,but i know ive done my best with these two guys ,yes ive spoilt them rotten,but if i had been blessed with my own children then maybe these two lads would have been put into care and goodness knows what would have happened to them,one is an accountant and has passed every exam so far,and the other has started a removal buisness and doing well,so i must have done something right.everything happens for a reason,but one thing i can say is i am very proud of them both. I can understand you being proud of them. But surely, if they're doing so well, they can afford to give you some money towards the house. £20 is nothing, I paid £50 per week, years ago when I still lived at home... Yes they can afford it i ask all the time ,but they pay.for a couple of weeks then stop again. " You are proud of two grown men who disrespect you so much they don't pay their way, don't look after their own clothes, nor cook for themselves and expect you to do it all? Carry on if you want to but stop moaning about how hardly done by you are. They are taking the piss and you are accepting it with open arms. | |||
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"I know its my fault,i suppose i feel responsible for them,ive had then since toddlers as their parents didnt want them,and i wasnt lucky enough to have children of my own,so yes ive spoilt them,ive tried and tried to change them and get money out of them till me head hurts,i cant see them homeless,but i am now on strike,there will be no cooking,no washing done,until they change their ways. i kicked my son out when he was 18 and got into my face about doing nothing..i gave him a letter..he left, had a few rough nights, got himself a hostel place and then a flat..he thanks me now for doing it, because not only did he learn he was being an arse, but he learnt he could if he wanted to, stand on his own two feet, which i knew he could..better relationship all round being totally honest..he can do what he likes, but not to or around me because i have other kids and i deserve some respect. No way would I ever do that to my son's, might have worked for you but put one of my kids on the street...No. and same for a lot of other parents too. well i wont be around for ever and they need to be able to look after themselves and each other..they have no one else, so, i do the legwork..my sons are men not little boys and i treat them as such.. i'm not going into why i knew that was the right thing to do, it would take all day...but dont moan about them not having any respect or thoughtfulness if you dont teach them according to what their character requires...oh and fyi he bought me flowers yesterday just because he thought it would be nice to do so...both my sons and my daughter do that for me occasionally..they know i love lilly's x when was the last time you got flowerls for being you?" about six hours ago | |||
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