FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why you men not getting any from your partner/wifes? (Part 2!)
Why you men not getting any from your partner/wifes? (Part 2!)
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. "
Very well said  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. "
good point but situations like that make up at the very most 5%the other 95 are just assholes  . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. "
well said and indeed everyones situation is different, mine was that I work 40+ hours a week and come home to the house a mess no tea and her of shopping so I'd clean cook sort the kids for school oh and by the way pick kids up from school and still the good wife wanted nothing in bed, turned out the shopping was sex else where, so we parted company. Life is so much fun lol!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The 95% arsehole statistic is probably quite accurate and my example amongst the 5% was pretty much the extreme example of cheating being understandable.
But really, I'm just stressing that the reason men aren't getting sex from their partners (as was the original OP's query) isn't just because they're lazy bastards who are shit husbands (as with LordScar's view) and also isn't just because men are too gutless to leave their partners who they not be wholly compatible with (as with Lady Tiss standpoint)
Peoples rational is multifaceted and personal to them. I'd hope on a swinging site not everyone would instinctively be tarred with the arsehole brush as it's just not the case. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The 95% arsehole statistic is probably quite accurate and my example amongst the 5% was pretty much the extreme example of cheating being understandable.
But really, I'm just stressing that the reason men aren't getting sex from their partners (as was the original OP's query) isn't just because they're lazy bastards who are shit husbands (as with LordScar's view) and also isn't just because men are too gutless to leave their partners who they not be wholly compatible with (as with Lady Tiss standpoint)
Peoples rational is multifaceted and personal to them. I'd hope on a swinging site not everyone would instinctively be tarred with the arsehole brush as it's just not the case. "
Feel free to keep quoting me out of context, I said it was one scenario! Probably the most popular one. I didn't say it was the be all and end all did I? But carry on fella |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The 95% arsehole statistic is probably quite accurate and my example amongst the 5% was pretty much the extreme example of cheating being understandable.
But really, I'm just stressing that the reason men aren't getting sex from their partners (as was the original OP's query) isn't just because they're lazy bastards who are shit husbands (as with LordScar's view) and also isn't just because men are too gutless to leave their partners who they not be wholly compatible with (as with Lady Tiss standpoint)
Peoples rational is multifaceted and personal to them. I'd hope on a swinging site not everyone would instinctively be tarred with the arsehole brush as it's just not the case. "
Haha good luck with that. We might be on a swinging site but it's full of judgemental people, the only way is their way  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think 5% noble selfless beings caring for disabled loved ones is too high a figure, but 95% arseholes is also too high.
Noble beings and arseholes exist but, in my experience, (and I'm sure someone will be along to tell me I would say this, wouldn't I) the vast majority are just flawed, imperfect human beings muddling along in a way they feel is best, (or least worst), for them and their relationships.
You may feel this isn't what you would do or how you would behave in that situation, but to pretend you know all the answers to anything apart from your own relationships and your own behaviour is exceptionally naive and arrogant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The 95% arsehole statistic is probably quite accurate and my example amongst the 5% was pretty much the extreme example of cheating being understandable.
But really, I'm just stressing that the reason men aren't getting sex from their partners (as was the original OP's query) isn't just because they're lazy bastards who are shit husbands (as with LordScar's view) and also isn't just because men are too gutless to leave their partners who they not be wholly compatible with (as with Lady Tiss standpoint)
Peoples rational is multifaceted and personal to them. I'd hope on a swinging site not everyone would instinctively be tarred with the arsehole brush as it's just not the case.
Haha good luck with that. We might be on a swinging site but it's full of judgemental people, the only way is their way "
Totally agree!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
LordScar, apologies to quote you out of context and you did assert that it was one scenario..
..equally, your "maybe that's one scenario?" was seemingly quite tongue in cheek with what preceded it? Your post:
"Maybe because they're lazy bastards who take their wife for granted, and after holding down a job, looking after 2.4 kids, running a house, cooking tea, washing up and doing some ironing?
The last thing on their mind is to then pleasure the lazy cunt, who's been sat on his arse since he walked through the door and did nothing to help out his missus who's dead on her feet!
I mean, that's possibly one scenario "
Calling guys lazy bastards and lazy cunts seems a bit unnecessary when it's just "possibly one scenario"
But hey, you carry on too fella. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"LordScar, apologies to quote you out of context and you did assert that it was one scenario..
..equally, your "maybe that's one scenario?" was seemingly quite tongue in cheek with what preceded it? Your post:
"Maybe because they're lazy bastards who take their wife for granted, and after holding down a job, looking after 2.4 kids, running a house, cooking tea, washing up and doing some ironing?
The last thing on their mind is to then pleasure the lazy cunt, who's been sat on his arse since he walked through the door and did nothing to help out his missus who's dead on her feet!
I mean, that's possibly one scenario "
Calling guys lazy bastards and lazy cunts seems a bit unnecessary when it's just "possibly one scenario"
But hey, you carry on too fella. "
Oh I'm sorry, was it not worded exactly how you would have liked it to be?
I didn't realise I had to pop in a disclaimer just so you knew my post wasn't tongue in cheek, silly me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think 5% noble selfless beings caring for disabled loved ones is too high a figure, but 95% arseholes is also too high.
Noble beings and arseholes exist but, in my experience, (and I'm sure someone will be along to tell me I would say this, wouldn't I) the vast majority are just flawed, imperfect human beings muddling along in a way they feel is best, (or least worst), for them and their relationships.
You may feel this isn't what you would do or how you would behave in that situation, but to pretend you know all the answers to anything apart from your own relationships and your own behaviour is exceptionally naive and arrogant."
Well said. Everyone's different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Part 1 was interesting from an observation point of view.
As usual the person/s cheating who offer an explanation are viewed as needing validation or justifying their actions.
The anti-cheating brigade cannot see any other scenario than leaving & divorce, let them have a better life etc etc.....
Everyone is different & no one knows the dynamics of the relationship or what in theory could work best apart from the 2 people involved in it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
I actually found part one ( mostly) to be quite interesting.
I like threads that make me question things and maybe look at them differently.
Part two, seems to be a excuse for cheap pops.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Worry not LordScar, your post that labels guys "lazy bastards / lazy cunts" as being "possibly one reason" for them not getting sex off their hard working partners was so eloquently put.
Lady Tiss the very fact that you feel my views are just aimed to "justify" cheating shows that you fail to get what I'm saying.
Personally, I don't advocate cheating but I wouldn't judge those that do, as is the case for my carer friend. Funnily enough (considering my stance on this) I have been cheated on. It's not nice!.. But what I'm stressing is that everyone is very different and it's not as simple as having the guts to leave someone or men all being "lazy cunts"
Like you said, it's not black and white. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I actually found part one ( mostly) to be quite interesting.
I like threads that make me question things and maybe look at them differently.
Part two, seems to be a excuse for cheap pops. "
Yeah I think apart from a few posts, you're right...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worry not LordScar, your post that labels guys "lazy bastards / lazy cunts" as being "possibly one reason" for them not getting sex off their hard working partners was so eloquently put. "
At what point have I looked worried to you?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I actually found part one ( mostly) to be quite interesting.
I like threads that make me question things and maybe look at them differently.
Part two, seems to be a excuse for cheap pops. "
I concur, I don't know why I bother answering the actual question.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Let's not turn this into a bizarre German / Brexit etc thing. It's not. We don't need to make personal attacks.
Continuing arguing wasn't the purpose of "Part 2" but rather learning others thoughts on the matter.
I think the original thread caused me to be quite disheartened at the way people on such a Fab site are labelling others who cheat as "lazy cunts" or lacking integrity.. all I'm saying is that's not necessarily the case.
Let's play nice Fabbers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I actually found part one ( mostly) to be quite interesting.
I like threads that make me question things and maybe look at them differently.
Part two, seems to be a excuse for cheap pops.
I concur, I don't know why I bother answering the actual question. "
Part 2 is aimed at continuing to question things and learn others views for anyone who missed part 1. And trying to steer it in a more friendly direction. People can assert their views without being offensive (hopefully!?) It's an interesting topic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Part 1 was interesting from an observation point of view.
As usual the person/s cheating who offer an explanation are viewed as needing validation or justifying their actions.
The anti-cheating brigade cannot see any other scenario than leaving & divorce, let them have a better life etc etc.....
Everyone is different & no one knows the dynamics of the relationship or what in theory could work best apart from the 2 people involved in it.
"
Rather agree on this. In my own life my wife's sex drive stopped dead after giving birth by caesarean. She's convinced there's a physical link with what they might have cut during the op. She's moved away to look after her Dad with our daughter several hours drive away and we live almost entirely separate lives. She has basically told me it's up to me to do what I need to do but she doesn't want to know about it. If she's having any shags, good for her - great if someone can revive her sex drive - I've certainly failed - but I doubt even Superman could! She virtually lives like a nun with her elderly Dad and she seems perfectly content. Meanwhile, I'm as rampant as I ever was. I don't want a divorce as we still love each other, albeit a marriage by phone and email. But as a red-bloodied male what does one do?
I haven't yet come across a friend who says I should stay faithful in what would otherwise amount to an unsolicited marital celibacy! Even she realises it's less than ideal from my point of view! But, that's the way she insists it is!
So, everyone is dealt a different hand of cards in life. Now, before you jump to criticise just stop and consider carefully, if you were in my shoes, what you would do? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The reality is that cheating is cheating and there are no excuses only justifications we are all in control of our actions.
I knkw what people will say its the same thing they always say... Every situation is different you dont know my story.... My wifes ill and cant perform.... My wifes tired all the time so i dont get any.... Blah blah blah its bollocks if your not getting it for whatever reason talk to your partner communicate it and either she will give you permission to go elsewhere or she wont and you can choose to leave or not but dont dress it up as doing whats best for the relationship when in reality you want to have the cosy home life and the sexy single life.
The fundemental basis of any relationship is trust and respect and anyone who cheats clearly doesnt care about either i been cheated on in the past so my vjew is obviously very biased but it is my view none the less and much lime nobody cares what i think i dont really care if people disagree cos anyone who dose wouldnt get the time of day from me anyway
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And we're entering our third year of this arrangement without any sign that things might change. I can't move nearer cos of work and she refuses to move too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Worry not LordScar, your post that labels guys "lazy bastards / lazy cunts" as being "possibly one reason" for them not getting sex off their hard working partners was so eloquently put.
At what point have I looked worried to you? "
You look calm as a cucumber, LordScar. Let's not argue.. I'm just stressing that there may well be a lot of guys who really pull their weight in the house etc and it still doesn't mean they'll get sex on tap. Life's more complicated than that eh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Does anyone actually give a stuff why people are looking for sex? There are a millions reasons.
Maybe your wife has stopped putting out, maybe she wants you to get more elsewhere maybe you want her to, perhaps you want to wear a German helmet on your head as you role play being a Luftwaffe fighter diving into her fanny! Who gives a monkeys it's a personal thing and we all have our own reasons for everything we do (even Keith Vas) but when it comes to judging others it should only be done when the law has been broken and only by a bloke in a white wig paid to do it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well I've now clicked through to the profiles of each of the posters on both threads and we're at around a third of the "cheating is cheating, married cheating scum, lazy cunts the lot of you" brigade who have messaged me at some point on this 3 week old profile.
Now they *might* all have messaged me to tell me how appalled they are at my behaviour but I usually remember that and block accordingly to avoid contaminating any pure of heart, whiter than white fabbers.
Meet cheaters, don't meet cheaters, do whatever the hell you want, but at don't proclaim all sorts in public for the hope of a sniff off a bitter middle aged divorcee and then message me in private for a fuck because it just makes you look like a tool. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well I've now clicked through to the profiles of each of the posters on both threads and we're at around a third of the "cheating is cheating, married cheating scum, lazy cunts the lot of you" brigade who have messaged me at some point on this 3 week old profile.
Now they *might* all have messaged me to tell me how appalled they are at my behaviour but I usually remember that and block accordingly to avoid contaminating any pure of heart, whiter than white fabbers.
Meet cheaters, don't meet cheaters, do whatever the hell you want, but at don't proclaim all sorts in public for the hope of a sniff off a bitter middle aged divorcee and then message me in private for a fuck because it just makes you look like a tool. "
Yep I agree, stick to your principles in private as well as in public.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well I've now clicked through to the profiles of each of the posters on both threads and we're at around a third of the "cheating is cheating, married cheating scum, lazy cunts the lot of you" brigade who have messaged me at some point on this 3 week old profile.
Now they *might* all have messaged me to tell me how appalled they are at my behaviour but I usually remember that and block accordingly to avoid contaminating any pure of heart, whiter than white fabbers.
Meet cheaters, don't meet cheaters, do whatever the hell you want, but at don't proclaim all sorts in public for the hope of a sniff off a bitter middle aged divorcee and then message me in private for a fuck because it just makes you look like a tool. "
Agree with this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When faced with the dilemma of cheating or divorcing as a result of an irresolvable sexless marriage, some people will regard cheating as the more appropriate option, others will regard divorce as the more appropriate option. Both options go against what traditional marriage vows are (but I'm not advocating celibacy). But who has the right to decide that it is more moral to divorce than cheat, or more moral to cheat than divorce? That is a dilemma that only the individual concerned can weigh up. Some people will really take the moral high ground and remain faithful in a sexless marriage. But for many this is too big an ask, therefore some difficult decisions are needed. There is no right and wrong. The best has to be done to minimise pain, including for the person who is faced with a lifetime of celibacy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well I've now clicked through to the profiles of each of the posters on both threads and we're at around a third of the "cheating is cheating, married cheating scum, lazy cunts the lot of you" brigade who have messaged me at some point on this 3 week old profile.
Now they *might* all have messaged me to tell me how appalled they are at my behaviour but I usually remember that and block accordingly to avoid contaminating any pure of heart, whiter than white fabbers.
Meet cheaters, don't meet cheaters, do whatever the hell you want, but at don't proclaim all sorts in public for the hope of a sniff off a bitter middle aged divorcee and then message me in private for a fuck because it just makes you look like a tool.
Yep I agree, stick to your principles in private as well as in public.
"
I always pick up on this in verifications,people stating no cheats etc and then are verified by a married or attached man/woman.
Agree with this totally,don't say or do things differenly,depending on who your audience is.
Miss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When faced with the dilemma of cheating or divorcing as a result of an irresolvable sexless marriage, some people will regard cheating as the more appropriate option, others will regard divorce as the more appropriate option. Both options go against what traditional marriage vows are (but I'm not advocating celibacy). But who has the right to decide that it is more moral to divorce than cheat, or more moral to cheat than divorce? That is a dilemma that only the individual concerned can weigh up. Some people will really take the moral high ground and remain faithful in a sexless marriage. But for many this is too big an ask, therefore some difficult decisions are needed. There is no right and wrong. The best has to be done to minimise pain, including for the person who is faced with a lifetime of celibacy."
But if we're going down that route then a sexlesss marriage is also against marriage vows, not to mention tradition. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. "
I agree with most of the above, not everyone is able to leave their partners.
It's not our place to judge people, if a person does not like how another is conducting themselves, move on. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I agree Classy Swingers. I think it's in these instances that asserting people as generally being lazy or gutless isn't quite fair.
People reading my posts may think that I view cheating as being great "wooooo let's all cheat!" I've never been in a situation were I've cheated, although I have been cheated on. As said above, it's really shit.. But I'd really have hoped though that those that choose to (for whatever reason) don't get tarred by the arsehole brush automatically, on a swinging site of all places. I figured it to be a place where people can be upfront and honest about their circumstances.. and if it doesn't suit you, then politely avoid.
Think I'll start a much happier thread next! Ha
LordScar and the pretty Miss Lady Tiss. I don't mean any offence to either of you I just wished to point out (as I'm sure you know, and have said above) that it can often be complex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This was my reply on previous thread.. in reference to Last Tiss and Lord Scar. I'm not attacking here but feel it's an interesting debate.
Lady Tiss you're going on about it being a shame not all cheaters can follow your fine example of leaving your ex-partner because you weren't getting the sex you wanted.. you're applauding the guy who banged on about men just being lazy fuckers who don't contribute to household tasks and thus don't get the sex they so self righteously deserve and instead cheat..
With respect, what you (and your LordScar friend) are very much failing to appreciate is that literally every person / couple / situation is so very different. To have such an all-encompassing view based on what you personally have been through really shows a great lack of ability to appreciate others situations as being individual to them.
I know someone (gender irrelevant) who has a partner who experienced an accident resulting in brain injury. The partner is not able to have sex and they're affected cognitively. So my friend opts for option B; staying with partner and seeking sex elsewhere. My friend isn't lazy. My friend isn't gutless due to not leaving. If anything my friend is very hard working in caring for the person they love.
As people have mentioned above; circumstances (busy lives etc), menopause, impotence, illness (mental or physical), their upbringing etc etc all impact on people's ability to have sex and peoples decisions in terms of looking elsewhere for sex.
Not everyone should conduct their lives (or be judged as being lazy, gutless, arsehole cheaters) based on your experiences. My own experiences influence my values but I can still appreciate others circumstances and aim to do so from their point of view.
Kudos to you for leaving your ex-partner if you weren't compatible and I do hope you're now getting the sex you wanted.. but do bear in mind it's not always straightforward and others situations are likely very different. A divorce is one solution but not the only one. good point but situations like that make up at the very most 5%the other 95 are just assholes ."
I don't agree with your figures, not sure where you get them from. Again it's not our place to judge people and call them areseholes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
[Quote] don't agree with your figures, not sure where you get them from. Again it's not our place to judge people and call them areseholes.[/Quote]
In a post-fact society you can pluck statistics from the air with impunity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"[Quote] don't agree with your figures, not sure where you get them from. Again it's not our place to judge people and call them areseholes.[/Quote]
In a post-fact society you can pluck statistics from the air with impunity. "
90% of the time you can. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Whatever the reasons, if you're married and cheating (as in without your spouse knowing) then you're not really giving them the chance to make it right/better, or to end it. It's the breakdown of the team. And no, cheating is rarely the first instance of this. But it's a standalone reason for divorce, a big deal to some.
Now, if you can find an arrangement, brilliant! Scratch your itch, stay in a relationship that's mutually beneficial.
But it tears you apart to learn of being cheated on. Regardless of the state the of marriage it is a definitive act, and a selfish one.
I've been cheated on, obviously from this post I guess. I take no moral high ground. The end of my marriage was the right thing to happen, the cheating just made the divorce easier.
But people who claim they "aren't getting it" at home have to look at their own reasons, and their own selfishness (regardless of whether it is or isn't the biggest problem in their relationship) and be honest to themselves. And if they're still happy, then they're probably a well rounded person. More so than a lot on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whatever the reasons, if you're married and cheating (as in without your spouse knowing) then you're not really giving them the chance to make it right/better, or to end it. It's the breakdown of the team. And no, cheating is rarely the first instance of this. But it's a standalone reason for divorce, a big deal to some.
Now, if you can find an arrangement, brilliant! Scratch your itch, stay in a relationship that's mutually beneficial.
But it tears you apart to learn of being cheated on. Regardless of the state the of marriage it is a definitive act, and a selfish one.
I've been cheated on, obviously from this post I guess. I take no moral high ground. The end of my marriage was the right thing to happen, the cheating just made the divorce easier.
But people who claim they "aren't getting it" at home have to look at their own reasons, and their own selfishness (regardless of whether it is or isn't the biggest problem in their relationship) and be honest to themselves. And if they're still happy, then they're probably a well rounded person. More so than a lot on here"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jeerz
Why have I just read through this crap thread ...
Who the fuck cares about other people's business .
Op why couldn't u just let this die after it was exhausted in part 1 ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jeerz
Why have I just read through this crap thread ...
Who the fuck cares about other people's business .
Op why couldn't u just let this die after it was exhausted in part 1 ?"
Why did you have to comment to start it up again. Jesus  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jeerz
Why have I just read through this crap thread ...
Who the fuck cares about other people's business .
Op why couldn't u just let this die after it was exhausted in part 1 ?
Why did you have to comment to start it up again. Jesus "
Do you understand that you've just done what you told him off for doing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jeerz
Why have I just read through this crap thread ...
Who the fuck cares about other people's business .
Op why couldn't u just let this die after it was exhausted in part 1 ?
Why did you have to comment to start it up again. Jesus
Do you understand that you've just done what you told him off for doing? "
No ruby I dont |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jeerz
Why have I just read through this crap thread ...
Who the fuck cares about other people's business .
Op why couldn't u just let this die after it was exhausted in part 1 ?
Why did you have to comment to start it up again. Jesus
Do you understand that you've just done what you told him off for doing?
No ruby I dont"
Okay then.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
