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Getting into relationships
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmmmmmm I'm in a new relationship of 4 months now, he's totally vanilla, and I stopped swinging when I met him.......he knows nothing of my swinging past, and feel like I couldn't bring it up in conversation, as it might ruin things....difficult one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I asked my bf if we should order anything from a sex toy site and he said - do you really wanna know what my thing is'
He then told me how he wanted to do mmf threesomes (only I play with the guy) - we discussed the rules etc and now we are on here
He's honest about what he likes I'm honest in saying whether I'm up for it or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried normal dating,
Because my best friends are swingers that I met through here, I will not and cannot give them up for a relationship. So what happened was, when we inevitably got talking about friends, past girlfriends or sex, swinging always came up.
This always went badly as they could not deal or understand the concept of it all, or how many sexual encounters I have had. This left a sour taste in my mouth so after talking to my friends, we all decided it was a better option for me to come back here, and see if I can meet anyone through FAB naturally, rather than advertise the fact.
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If I was starting a relationship I would be 100% open about stuff like that from day one, if you're not compatible sexually it causes massive problems if some of the threads I read on here are anything to go by and I would rather not go into a relationship not knowing.
I wouldn't have thought like that when I was younger and I've probably got the attitude of not having time to waste now though |
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" Hmmmmmmmm I'm in a new relationship of 4 months now, he's totally vanilla, and I stopped swinging when I met him.......he knows nothing of my swinging past, and feel like I couldn't bring it up in conversation, as it might ruin things....difficult one. "
Really pleased for you, wondered how it was going. I met my OH on here, which is great, but if he wasn't a fellow swinger, I would not tell all. People go through different stages in their lives and if its one you've gone through and over, why do you have to tell someone all the detail of your past. Could be deep down when you were swinging you were looking for something you dont need now. If you have changed, why dwell on the past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a lot of questions and rules that aren't for everyone:
*Be true to yourself
*If it seems really good and compatibility is very much there, do you want to risk shaking and breaking it?
There is never any right time. Unless it's there and present from the start. If it hasn't been mentioned in it's early stages then it's a no.
Personally - if I was in a relationship outside of the scene then I would knock the lifestyle on the head. Why? You never know when you could be into a very good thing. But if you run the risk of that then it's your decision dude. Just remember that this scene still has a stigma to most who have no concept of it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't. I'd give this lifestyle up in an instant if I met someone.
This for me. Not that I'm much of a swinger anyway "
My thoughts entirely. The social side is just as important to me (if not more than the physical side) and I'm not just gonna get my cock wet for the sake of it like most guys on here. Personal morals and choice.
Depth and connection above discreet meets. |
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"If I was starting a relationship I would be 100% open about stuff like that from day one, if you're not compatible sexually it causes massive problems if some of the threads I read on here are anything to go by and I would rather not go into a relationship not knowing.
I wouldn't have thought like that when I was younger and I've probably got the attitude of not having time to waste now though "
I completely agree with this. Why settle for someone who might not accept who I am/what I've done/who I've been?
Though I am not exactly a full blown swinger, this part of my life has become so me that when I did meet vanillas, I told them fairly quickly, as I wouldn't give up some aspects for anything. End result: they ran a mile.
In the end, I met someone from a different swingers site, it's going fabulously and though we are only with each other, it makes life so much easier that I can be open and honest with him about anything.
Too many non swingers see sex in such a completely different light that I wouldn't go back to hiding who I am, for anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Hmmmmmmmm I'm in a new relationship of 4 months now, he's totally vanilla, and I stopped swinging when I met him.......he knows nothing of my swinging past, and feel like I couldn't bring it up in conversation, as it might ruin things....difficult one.
Really pleased for you, wondered how it was going. I met my OH on here, which is great, but if he wasn't a fellow swinger, I would not tell all. People go through different stages in their lives and if its one you've gone through and over, why do you have to tell someone all the detail of your past. Could be deep down when you were swinging you were looking for something you dont need now. If you have changed, why dwell on the past."
Thanks, it's strange cos I partied hard for 2 years, group sex, gang bangs,you name it, but now this one guy is everything I need. I do miss the social side, I made some great friends, whom I'm still in touch with. So I guess I'm a social swinger now lol. Couldn't hurt him for the world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I realise now I could not possibly consider a vanilla relationship ever again."
Those were my thoughts 5 months ago, then "WOW.....WERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE MOMENT" |
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I'd never consider a relationship without being upfront from the off that I swing nor intended to stop.
Had a vanilla date recently, told him, was judgmental about women enjoying their sexuality, knew he wasn't for me. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water? "
i dont date and i definately wouldnt consider dating vanilla..if someone asked me out on a vanilla date, (unlikely, i rarely go out) i would tell them before i went out, that way they would know..before even a social...its something i am , not something i do... |
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I hope I'm never in a position where I want or need to date but if I was all I would ask is that they're open minded about sex, swingers as a group aren't any more open minded than anyone else in fact often they're less so we've found.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water? "
I think everyone has a past. If people can't accept that, then they're obviously not the person for me.
However, I wouldn't want to stay a member on here-I'd be off. I don't do well with the sharing if I'm in a relationship. 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water?
I think everyone has a past. If people can't accept that, then they're obviously not the person for me.
However, I wouldn't want to stay a member on here-I'd be off. I don't do well with the sharing if I'm in a relationship.
"
Totally agree, no woman is getting a piece of my man....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Hmmmmmmmm I'm in a new relationship of 4 months now, he's totally vanilla, and I stopped swinging when I met him.......he knows nothing of my swinging past, and feel like I couldn't bring it up in conversation, as it might ruin things....difficult one.
Really pleased for you, wondered how it was going. I met my OH on here, which is great, but if he wasn't a fellow swinger, I would not tell all. People go through different stages in their lives and if its one you've gone through and over, why do you have to tell someone all the detail of your past. Could be deep down when you were swinging you were looking for something you dont need now. If you have changed, why dwell on the past.
Thanks, it's strange cos I partied hard for 2 years, group sex, gang bangs,you name it, but now this one guy is everything I need. I do miss the social side, I made some great friends, whom I'm still in touch with. So I guess I'm a social swinger now lol. Couldn't hurt him for the world. "
Told you - it's an epidemic! 
Same here, and he knows. It has been discussed and got out of the way. I think he likes the idea of me knowing what I am doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't. I'd give this lifestyle up in an instant if I met someone. "
You got your copy pick your window........ They used to say that on the old CB radios years ago....... GREAT profile you have. Will I pass for you at 94?....... And Ii would much prefer the pineapple thank you please as I don't like oranges, they make me all hypo |
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Known my bf for 20 years & got together a couple of years ago. Started off chatting & flirting then got to naughty talk. Told him I fantasised about being with other girls & he introduced me to this crazy world, as he went to clubs as a single guy before we met. I never even knew they existed!! Now we've been swinging for over a year & I'm hooked. We're both loving every minute  |
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"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water? "
Met him on here so no problem! |
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"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water?
I think everyone has a past. If people can't accept that, then they're obviously not the person for me.
However, I wouldn't want to stay a member on here-I'd be off. I don't do well with the sharing if I'm in a relationship.
Totally agree, no woman is getting a piece of my man......."
That is an interesting one because I dont think its about anyone getting a piece. I look at it like this, what we have, no one could every come close to, so what he does with others and what I do with others it totally meaningless. We don't form relationships with anyone we play with ... what we have with each other in that respect is enough. That and the real relationships we have with friends and family. we are not here or swinging to fill any hole like that. Maybe it is different as Mr plays with men and TVs so I don't see it as the same. Any interest in other women is something I would not feel threatened at all by and vice versa as its part of what we have together. |
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"So when you are seeing someone or chatting or even new into a relationship, how do you bring up the 'swinging' conversation or how long before you bring up any fetish you may have lol. Joke first then if it goes badly leave it there kind of test the water? "
I would like to meet a single lady to have a relationship with who is also into swinging. Over the last few years, have played with several couples, some for a long time. And thoroughly enjoy it. It would be hard to give that up. I joke with m swinging couple friends, it would be great to find my own Hotwife - that I could share. The reality is that is unlikely to happen. Most women out in the real world want a vanilla relationship. .Oh well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Hmmmmmmmm I'm in a new relationship of 4 months now, he's totally vanilla, and I stopped swinging when I met him.......he knows nothing of my swinging past, and feel like I couldn't bring it up in conversation, as it might ruin things....difficult one. "
But you're hiding a large part of your past from him, that doesn't make for an honest and open relationship.
I'd be pretty pissed off if I accidently found out something like about someone i loved, i'd feel like they didn't trust me enough to tell me.
These things have a habit of coming out no matter how careful you are. |
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When i got with boo i told her straight i was "open minded and quite relaxed with thins sexually"
She asked about it so i told her. Shes asked more and more about it and here we are doing it together and she likes it all.
It all comes down to the person at the end of the day. Becky is now enjoying her "secret" life as a swinger |
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