FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Fantasists v Realists
Fantasists v Realists
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
We like endless chats but we also meet. The meets are generally epic after so much anticipation. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
i wouldn't say endless chat without meeting is the worst thing..... it just shows that people go at different speeds with regards to meeting... and i think that some people can get frustrated with that... and "label" them... like you have just done!!!
at the end of the day you have to be pragmatic.... if i am not 110% comfortable I am not meeting.... if i keep talking till i feel 110% comfortable thats could... if you can't cope with the speed others work out, thats not a me issue... thats a YOU issue....
the most annoying thing is when people try to label who are the "real" swingers and who aren't.... that to me is really narrow minded....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
I don't agree as I wouldn't say I'm either of those, I was somewhere inbetween. |
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"There's a middle ground, and that's where I think most people fall."
Yes. We love to chat online for a while to get to know people. We do meet but not very often and when we do it's usually for a social or some same room/same partner play.
6 times out of 10 we find the chat dries up after a few responses with those who we're not compatible with. We use that as another filter really.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know that it's incomplete!! Because it's only my conclusion from my own experiences on here. So that's why I question it for others to give me there own views. Not being narrow minded just questioning things to see if I'm right or wrong. |
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
Lots of people are defining certain groups of people as "real" if they fit criteria of their making I don't agree with that but I do think that some enjoy the fantasy of swinging more than the reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??
Lots of people are defining certain groups of people as "real" if they fit criteria of their making I don't agree with that but I do think that some enjoy the fantasy of swinging more than the reality."
I think I'm the realest gangsta up in this mutherf' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that it's incomplete!! Because it's only my conclusion from my own experiences on here. So that's why I question it for others to give me there own views. Not being narrow minded just questioning things to see if I'm right or wrong."
I know, it was just a maths joke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that it's incomplete!! Because it's only my conclusion from my own experiences on here. So that's why I question it for others to give me there own views. Not being narrow minded just questioning things to see if I'm right or wrong.
I know, it was just a maths joke "
I prefer the one about the constipated mathematician |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what the OP says works if we take it as a simplistic therotical model about reality.
What the critisims suggest is just like any model it does not fully reflect reality.
What the model does is to divide people into two groups which act differently from each other in some respects. In reality we are all a bit of both. What's interesting is that before I found swinging I was very much a fantasist and now I'm very much more a realist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know that it's incomplete!! Because it's only my conclusion from my own experiences on here. So that's why I question it for others to give me there own views. Not being narrow minded just questioning things to see if I'm right or wrong.
I know, it was just a maths joke
I prefer the one about the constipated mathematician"
Always a classic  |
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I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else. |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
I do like to chat with people because you get to understand their sense of humour and what kind of a person they are, if they go straight to something like "I'd love to suck your cock and fuck your brains out" the conversation ends, they're just jacking off at the other end. I myself very rarely mention sex or meeting, that develops over time. Some you win, some you lose.  |
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fantasists are very easy to suss out.. you just arrange a meet and within hours the excuses will come in.. I've had one sudden illness several broken bones ..I'm beginning to think i have some strange power to harm people through email.. or maybe i just get messaged by accident prone people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
Spot on |
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If I'm being completely honest OP I go usually go through phases...
I have never really gone around messaging women or couples or sending out endless messages to the women who contact me/show interest..
That being said sometimes I do try and make an effort here and there when it counts but in the end usually nothing ever really comes out off it but eh what can you do really?
I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a fantasist even though there are things I would like to explore, more likely just curious about this whole scene but not in a big rush to just throw myself into it even though I went to a pub social once, next thing to do is check out a club some day..
I don't know I suppose it depends down to me really as to how I feel as I can go months and months without any interest and just focus on whats going on in my real life more then this so to speak.. just my point off view. |
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By *itzhallMan
over a year ago
birchington |
"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
All this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
One of the best responses I've ever read on the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
Totally agree with you .
Being realists it works well for us |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
I've actually met people in RL who previously ignored me on fab. Some I've even fucked! I personally have ignored some people who I've gone on to fuck in RL.
There's a real person on the other side of the screen with their own shit going on. They don't have to tell you what it is but if they did life would be so easy. By the way, life is easy...sometimes...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the forums over the years and profiles I have come to a conclusion there are Fantasists and Realists on this site, Fantasists being the ones who love the idea of the lifestyle but can't deal with the realities, So they occasionally brag about something that's happened to them but hasn't, Plus I would say they're the ones that have endless chats without a meet. Then there is the full on realists who are the real swingers! who love the lifestyle and respect boundaries set by others and want to fully enjoy in all the fun. WHat does everyone else think??"
Thier are also fantasists that go further and sit on forum 24/7 talking to other fantasists....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
Obviously a fantasist |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else."
100% agree |
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"I couldn't care less about this "lifestyle" (whatever that even means) or "swinging" or whatever label people want to stick on it. I also don't care what others choose to get up to either or how "real" they may be. Whether they swing a lot or not, it doesn't matter one jot (hey that rhymnes!). Some people seem to put too much emphasis on whether someone's a "real swinger" or not as if that has some great meaning. It means absolutely nothing.
Plus I wouldn't try to garner too much information about someone's swinging credentials from what you see of them on Fab. Fab is just a website. It's not the real world. For example, some people are happy just to do their thing and then simply go about their day. A lot don't feel the need to tell all of Fab a meet's coming up or they're off to a club and they won't say a word about it afterwards either. They are happy just to do it. You'd be none the wiser as to what they've been up to. They may appear to not be "real". Others like to tell the whole of Fab before, during and after every meet, club visit or dogging expedition. Whether that be in their status, on the forums or in a veri.
All in all, everyone's just doing their own thing, finding their own way, having their own kind of fun. Whether they're into all this in a big way or not, fantasists or realists, good luck to them all I say. I hope they ultimately find whatever it is they're looking for. None of which will effect me of course. I'll just carry on doing my own thing...just like everybody else.
Obviously a fantasist "
I'm more of a it's-just-fucking-and-sucking-sure-you-can-build-it-up-into-something-mega-important-and-shit-if-you-want-but-it-is-essentially-no-more-than-a-penis-going-in-a-vagina-whichever-way-you-look-at-it-and-as-such-is-not-that-big-a-deal-sure-it's-great-fun-and-all-that-but-let's-not-get-silly-about-how-important-this-actually-all-is-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things-ist |
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By *asyukMan
over a year ago
West London |
The situation that I object to is engaging someone in a discussion and then receiving a series of brief responses.
Clearly people fit this in around busy lives, however after some time this becomes tiresome as it's impossible to gauge how interested they are. The messaging process doesn't help of course as communication easily gets buried in a full inbox.
All of this is understandable, but it is annoying if you finally give up and then get accused of being a fantasist and time waster  |
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