FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > There a a lot of trust.
There a a lot of trust.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'd like to meet 1on1 preferably. I thought I was going to meet today but as it turned out, it's not to be.
It does take a lot of trust to meet somebody for the first time, somebody you've never met. Worse, somebody who doesn't have a veri  .
There's a bit of stigma attached to a lot of labels on this site that can't be avoided. Building trust between new freinds is difficult without taking the first step. I wish some people would think, 'not guity until....' Instead of jumping the gun.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...  "
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum. "
So why ask? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!"
Is this just patronising to women or does it apply to men as well? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum.
So why ask?"
I was just putting it out there. I wondered if other people felt the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It , even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!"
Maybe the risk adds to the excitement. I want exciting sex, meeting a stranger sounds exciting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
if you want a veri then go to a social event or a club..its not that hard, you dont have to use it as a way of meeting people, if you dont want after..however, the more you are known as a genuine person the better your experience with finding meets will be. treat it like a night out..be proactive x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if you want a veri then go to a social event or a club..its not that hard, you dont have to use it as a way of meeting people, if you dont want after..however, the more you are known as a genuine person the better your experience with finding meets will be. treat it like a night out..be proactive x"
This. My 1st time at a club I went to a birthday party/social, dressed up, with the intention of a few drinks and putting some faces to names, I ended up streaking down a corridor to dive in a hot tub.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!"
I get where you are coming from but on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I get where you are coming from but on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
"
Safer is the key word, we all want to be safe, and veris is our closest thing I suppose. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!
I get where you are coming from but on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
"
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Meeting a stranger is exciting. But going somewhere and the stranger is actually a fake at home cracking one off on his keyboard is less exciting.
When you say it wasn't to be, did you cancel or them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them.."
I've described this as a sex site before and I was screamed at.  . What I meant to say at the time was 'a sex themed site', people who are interested and enjoy sex. I understand it's not s sex contact site ( but is, swingers will contact other swingers for possible sex).
This site felt more confer table than other websites from the word go. Maybe that's why s lot of singles find themselves on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The no verifications - we would meet someone without one....but they must at least be photo verified and site supporter minimal. That shows some level of seriousness.
As for meeting a complete stranger....it's why we don't meet alone. Dax is quite good when it comes to spotting someone who could be a reason for concern. Its why he deals with men that inbox us and see if they can do a normal conversation.
As for the trust aspect. That is something that is more of a leap of faith on here than anything else.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger... "
I really can't get my head around that. I'm meeting a stranger for sex, but only if another stranger validates them?!!
Like you I rely on my own common sense. I think everyone I've met was unverified as they didn’t give a shit either. Some people concentrate so much on being verified they come across as desperate and will meet anyone for that "magic" green tick.
The last unverified meet I had of here moved in.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!
I get where you are coming from but on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them.."
I disagree, Fab is a swinger site in name only. To me it is all things to all people. Just looking at the amount of non couples on here bares that out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them..
I've described this as a sex site before and I was screamed at. . What I meant to say at the time was 'a sex themed site', people who are interested and enjoy sex. I understand it's not s sex contact site ( but is, swingers will contact other swingers for possible sex).
This site felt more confer table than other websites from the word go. Maybe that's why s lot of singles find themselves on here. "
no its a swinger site..thats what its called..however i blur that with kink and being sociable but i never just 'fuck'..there maybe a few that do and thats fine..but constantly calling it a sex site gives out wrong impression to men who hope for instashag and it stops women joining the scene..imo.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!
I get where you are coming from but on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them..
I disagree, Fab is a swinger site in name only. To me it is all things to all people. Just looking at the amount of non couples on here bares that out. "
so singles cant be swingers? only the true elite of the married couple swapping with other couples is swinging?..i think its moved on alot since then..however as i said calling it a sex site doesnt help with impressions... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sometimes surprises me how MUCH trust some people [specifically single women] can have.
I am always happy to meet socially, in public, first. I feel this is only right as I respect the fact that a woman may feel vulnerable otherwise.
However I am sometimes surprised, even shocked, at how soon, after a few messages, the lady in question will then change to meeting directly at hers or mine and jumping straight in on first meet. I'm not complaining .... But it does show either a high level of trust, or a willingness to take risks!"
Personally it's not something I would do and the way I play playmates need to feel safe with me too.
I always have a social with no chance of playing. Thank fuck as I've dodged many a bullet.
I shudder to think what the outcome would have been with some of I'd met them behind closed doors! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"on the other hand this is a sex site. I think the fact that this is also a community and discussed on here with veris from other people etc does hopefully make people feel a little safer?
this is a swinger site..not a sex site (necessarily) its used for many different things..people should get the 'sex site' out of their brains..it doesnt help them..
I've described this as a sex site before and I was screamed at. . What I meant to say at the time was 'a sex themed site', people who are interested and enjoy sex. I understand it's not s sex contact site ( but is, swingers will contact other swingers for possible sex).
This site felt more confer table than other websites from the word go. Maybe that's why s lot of singles find themselves on here. no its a swinger site..thats what its called..however i blur that with kink and being sociable but i never just 'fuck'..there maybe a few that do and thats fine..but constantly calling it a sex site gives out wrong impression to men who hope for instashag and it stops women joining the scene..imo.."
I'm guilty of calling it a sex site, quite recently too. Until I realised what 'sex site' means to people. 
It may be that to some but I agree with what you say here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum. "
is that because the person you were supposed to meet today uses the forums too?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum. "
Yet, you posted on a forum to get advice from the people you don't trust?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum.
Yet, you posted on a forum to get advice from the people you don't trust??"
Haha. Twist that anyway you want.  and yes I did. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum.
Yet, you posted on a forum to get advice from the people you don't trust??
Haha. Twist that anyway you want. and yes I did. "
as said before on other posts, maybe more trust is required because you are attached? maybe whoever wants to meet you thinks you might be untrustworthy because you are cheating? I'm not having a go ,btw, I'm just saying |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
Sadly my own common sense tells me not to trust people on a forum.
So why ask?
I was just putting it out there. I wondered if other people felt the same. "
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
S
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised "
That is bad.
But, as a balance of probability. If you took 10 verified members and 10 un-verified members, who would be most likely to let you down?
I would say go with verified every single time. Only an opinion and others think differently, which is fine obviously  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
S
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised
That is bad.
But, as a balance of probability. If you took 10 verified members and 10 un-verified members, who would be most likely to let you down?
I would say go with verified every single time. Only an opinion and others think differently, which is fine obviously "
Yes verifications aren't fool proof, but agree, you have to balance the odds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
S
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised
That is bad.
But, as a balance of probability. If you took 10 verified members and 10 un-verified members, who would be most likely to let you down?
I would say go with verified every single time. Only an opinion and others think differently, which is fine obviously "
agreed.
and again, there are varying levels of verification, sometime by the amount of them,the frequency of it/them and sometimes by the content itself.
an example would be someone/couple with one verify.The verify doesnt say much about the person other than what a good fuck they were.
I'd still probably be seeking a bit more before I think I'm going to have my time wasted, and I very rarely have in the years I have been here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I
as said before on other posts, maybe more trust is required because you are attached? maybe whoever wants to meet you thinks you might be untrustworthy because you are cheating? I'm not having a go ,btw, I'm just saying"
I get that. And good advice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
S
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised
That is bad.
But, as a balance of probability. If you took 10 verified members and 10 un-verified members, who would be most likely to let you down?
I would say go with verified every single time. Only an opinion and others think differently, which is fine obviously "
I've never met unverified men. Tbh can't remember if Grey was verified when we met, I think he was though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I use my common sense. Some people need to see a verification from a perfect stranger...
S
I've trusted men who were verified and they let me down. Left me feeling very demoralised
That is bad.
But, as a balance of probability. If you took 10 verified members and 10 un-verified members, who would be most likely to let you down?
I would say go with verified every single time. Only an opinion and others think differently, which is fine obviously
agreed.
and again, there are varying levels of verification, sometime by the amount of them,the frequency of it/them and sometimes by the content itself.
an example would be someone/couple with one verify.The verify doesnt say much about the person other than what a good fuck they were.
I'd still probably be seeking a bit more before I think I'm going to have my time wasted, and I very rarely have in the years I have been here."
We are unverified purely because of time and we haven't got round to finding anyone yet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
