FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is this a bit off?
Is this a bit off?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've messaged to ask if I've got the wrong end of the stick and if we are meeting tonight, but we have arranged a time and a place so unless Ive fallen into a parallel universe or something I don't know how ive got it wrong! |
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
ask him..?
if he realises your feeling a bit sensitive about it he may change his plans if its how you have _iewed them..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He probably just takes it that if you're not going to give him sex he'll get that somewhere else but is still happy to meet you for drinks.
I'd be a bit cheesed off because if I'm out I'm out. I wouldn't want to be sidelined after an hour so he can get his leg over somewhere else. |
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By *ex LutherMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
Seems a bit of a piss take to me what if someone messages saying they can play right now and you're half way through your drink does he make his excuses and leave? |
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys  "
I think this is the right attitude, you could spend some time with him then say "oh I have a meet" bye...lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol "
Yeah I get that it's just left me feeling like I'm not good enough, he's way way out of my league as it is!! More fool me for aiming to high!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
Pull out hun...he playing you end of  |
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol "
Perhaps you are 'the meet' ? If not then I personally would not be happy.
Rather than making assumptions, why not ask him OP? x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its a bit off and I wouldn't be happy with it. It's not a dating site, but I wouldn't treat a friend like that either.
Just message him and ask him what's up. Maybe he forgot you had plans tonight? |
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys "
your going for a drink, his idea of a drink might be an hour yours might be out all evening. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think its a bit off and I wouldn't be happy with it. It's not a dating site, but I wouldn't treat a friend like that either.
Just message him and ask him what's up. Maybe he forgot you had plans tonight?"
I have, he's not replied yet, we spoke about it this morning. I was just looking for a bit of perspective, I can be a bit oversensitive so thought it would be an idea to ask you guys |
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol "
My first thought was would he all of a sudden have a "flat tyre" if someone responded to his meet request.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol
Yeah I get that it's just left me feeling like I'm not good enough, he's way way out of my league as it is!! More fool me for aiming to high!!"
Don't ever feel that way!!!! He's agreed to meet you so he obviously doesn't think so |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys your going for a drink, his idea of a drink might be an hour yours might be out all evening."
Exactly, my fault for not finding out specifics  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its a bit off and I wouldn't be happy with it. It's not a dating site, but I wouldn't treat a friend like that either.
Just message him and ask him what's up. Maybe he forgot you had plans tonight?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA."
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where you expecting to spend the whole night with him? Have you asked him what time he plans on leaving if he does arrange a play meet? Really the only person who can tell you us him. He maybe under the impression that you are meeting for a quick social drink then he has the rest of the night free. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
I'd be pissed in your shoes & i'm a bloke! just shows a complete lack of sensitivity in my _iew. So you are not playing atm, will you be playing again? & have you done so before with this person?
If the answer is yes to all the above as far as i'm concerned you have just found out your true worth as far as they are concerned.
x
S |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that. "
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd be pissed in your shoes & i'm a bloke! just shows a complete lack of sensitivity in my _iew. So you are not playing atm, will you be playing again? & have you done so before with this person?
If the answer is yes to all the above as far as i'm concerned you have just found out your true worth as far as they are concerned.
x
S"
It's not that I don't want to play with him! Far from it! It's just I can't this time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends."
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be pissed in your shoes & i'm a bloke! just shows a complete lack of sensitivity in my _iew. So you are not playing atm, will you be playing again? & have you done so before with this person?
If the answer is yes to all the above as far as i'm concerned you have just found out your true worth as far as they are concerned.
x
S
It's not that I don't want to play with him! Far from it! It's just I can't this time"
Can't you join in a limited capacity? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else. "
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd be pissed in your shoes & i'm a bloke! just shows a complete lack of sensitivity in my _iew. So you are not playing atm, will you be playing again? & have you done so before with this person?
If the answer is yes to all the above as far as i'm concerned you have just found out your true worth as far as they are concerned.
x
S
It's not that I don't want to play with him! Far from it! It's just I can't this time
Can't you join in a limited capacity?"
Not really, I wouldn't feel comfortable, I'm clearly not very good at the old swinging lark!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else. "
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being "
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While your rite it isn't a dating site I do think it's a bit off. If he's meeting you this evening even if it is just for a social he should be putting his time and effort into you like sure you will with him. I don't agree with some attitudes of "let's have one in reserve" your not a tyre that may need replacing during a long ride.   xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that. "
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess."
It depends on the order if events.
If we were already planning to have a social with one couple then we wouldn't then book another meet on the same night.
But if we'd already arranged a meet that night, but another couple offered us a social as well, then I'd be upfront and say "we'd like to see you but at 10pm we're going to see so and so". Then they can take it or leave it. Or join in most cases |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly "
I'd say it's reasonable to expect he would spend no less than 2 hours with you. But if you meet at 7 and he spends 3 hours with you, then he's exceeded his obligations and the night is still young... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly
I'd say it's reasonable to expect he would spend no less than 2 hours with you. But if you meet at 7 and he spends 3 hours with you, then he's exceeded his obligations and the night is still young... "
Id rather just stay in than have someone be obligated to stay with me for a certain amount of time. I would have hoped they would want to stay for my witty conversation and sparkly eyes.... oh wait yes I lack both those things!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess."
Everyone has their own ideas on what is right or not with swinging .
I think the op is being over sensitive as our perspective is that swinging is NSA sex . Easy for us as we are happily married and don't swing to make friends . Not so easy as a single , and often even harder as a single woman as feelings and emotions get involved .
The op has said she isn't necessarily after NSA , and that she isn't that good at swinging . Fair enough , and maybe this is a learning curve for her .
The guy in question is on a swinging site and no doubt sees it more as we do than the op . He's done nothing wrong and certainly isn't being disrespectful . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
Personally if you're going for a drink that's it no other meets!! It's a bit off to do that I would say! Fab is about the social side as well and enjoying the company rude to cut that short |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly
I'd say it's reasonable to expect he would spend no less than 2 hours with you. But if you meet at 7 and he spends 3 hours with you, then he's exceeded his obligations and the night is still young...
Id rather just stay in than have someone be obligated to stay with me for a certain amount of time. I would have hoped they would want to stay for my witty conversation and sparkly eyes.... oh wait yes I lack both those things!!! "
Wearing a low cut top helps though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done similar in the past, been out for drinks with friends or a friend, and lined up a little something something for later in the night when I got home..... or sometimes an early morning wake up caller
That said, I think because there's a different dynamic between people who have played before it does seem a little insensitive to socialise with you then potentially have a play meet.
Maybe just suggest another night for your meet with him, perhaps when you can play too? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly
I'd say it's reasonable to expect he would spend no less than 2 hours with you. But if you meet at 7 and he spends 3 hours with you, then he's exceeded his obligations and the night is still young...
Id rather just stay in than have someone be obligated to stay with me for a certain amount of time. I would have hoped they would want to stay for my witty conversation and sparkly eyes.... oh wait yes I lack both those things!!!
Wearing a low cut top helps though "
I look like a potato in 'sexy' clothes!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs."
 ok thanks for your input. |
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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago
gillingham |
"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly "
Even though his meet only went up an hour ago, there's no guarantee he get any offers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being
Only in my opinion, clearly a lot of people agree with you. I can't honestly make sense of your arrangement with him so I really think it depends on that.
As far as I was concerned I was just going for a nice drink with a friend, it's been a shit week and I was really looking forward to it. We aren't really anything to each other so you're right there shouldn't be any expectation. His meet only went up an hour ago so I guess ive done something wrong or put him off in some way, just being silly
I'd say it's reasonable to expect he would spend no less than 2 hours with you. But if you meet at 7 and he spends 3 hours with you, then he's exceeded his obligations and the night is still young...
Id rather just stay in than have someone be obligated to stay with me for a certain amount of time. I would have hoped they would want to stay for my witty conversation and sparkly eyes.... oh wait yes I lack both those things!!!
Wearing a low cut top helps though
I look like a potato in 'sexy' clothes!!!"
I'm sure that you don't, keep smiling!! Great smile looks sexy on any lady |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input. "
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time. |
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Personally, I'd have told him to stick it where the sun don't shine!
If we meet for a social, we don't put a time limit on it, nor would we want our meet to be looking at their watches, its just not how we do things.
Whilst we don't expect anything, meeting for a social means we want to find out what they are like, and vice-versa, if he/they cant wait for another day for their dose of humpy-pumpy then I'd give it a swerve.  |
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
If you feel put out you do but you're not dating or in a relationship of any sort so you might ask yourself why you feel like that. No strings attached means different things to different people though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input.
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time."
I never said I did, i asked a question because it's something I wouldnt personally do to someone else. I'm not 'pulling any shit' on him, I'm asking what other people thought, there's no reason to get cross about it! As I stated above I took someone's advice about rearranging so everyone's happy.... including me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input.
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time.
I never said I did, i asked a question because it's something I wouldnt personally do to someone else. I'm not 'pulling any shit' on him, I'm asking what other people thought, there's no reason to get cross about it! As I stated above I took someone's advice about rearranging so everyone's happy.... including me!"
Think you're spot on if you're planning an evening together that's what you're doing if you had just arranged a quick coffee that's a different story!! Just got to do what you feel is right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?
If you feel put out you do but you're not dating or in a relationship of any sort so you might ask yourself why you feel like that. No strings attached means different things to different people though."
I think it's just because I wouldn't do it to someone else that's all, if he put a meet up when he had left then no problem, just feels a bit like he'll be arranging something rather than talking to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is quite difficult. Could'nt the OP feel flattered though?
The person the OP is meeting obvously wants some fun that night. That person is _iewing the meeting with the OP is a social rather than anything else, and is not putting pressure on the OP to play or cancelling the meeting because she can't.
What would be insensitive is if the person the OP was meeting were to cut the meeting short or cancel it if they had an offer of fun with someone else. If the person the OP is meeting does not act in this manner and actually rejects some offers of fun/rescedules those offers of fun to meet with the OP, and then has fun after I can't see anything wrong.
And in that way it's possible for the OP to feel flattered - That is if the have a NSA relationship
But yeah, feelings don't always follow logic, and if I was the OP I'd feel slightly miffed lol |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I would of been miffed to. When I meet someone even if it's just a social I want their full attention. Nothing worse than being with someone who is clock watching.
If you had of posted earlier I would of suggested blowing him out to come for a drink with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input.
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time.
I never said I did, i asked a question because it's something I wouldnt personally do to someone else. I'm not 'pulling any shit' on him, I'm asking what other people thought, there's no reason to get cross about it! As I stated above I took someone's advice about rearranging so everyone's happy.... including me!"
i'm not getting cross about it. couldn't care less whether a guy is gonna meet you or not. just putting a different perspective on this and saying he owes you nothing.
even if oyu have changed things coz you've continued with your own perspective. can guarantee if a guy had asked the same question he'd have also got sympathetic replies but definitely more honest ones. |
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"
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess."
Well I am glad one of a couple said that - I would find it a bit disrespectful if I was either a friend cut short or a late night shag kept waiting, my self-worth dictates an entire evening either way! I would not get miffy about it - just say I would rather meet when he is free all evening.
And OP as far as I can see from one tiny little pic you are indeed stunning! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input.
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time.
I never said I did, i asked a question because it's something I wouldnt personally do to someone else. I'm not 'pulling any shit' on him, I'm asking what other people thought, there's no reason to get cross about it! As I stated above I took someone's advice about rearranging so everyone's happy.... including me!
i'm not getting cross about it. couldn't care less whether a guy is gonna meet you or not. just putting a different perspective on this and saying he owes you nothing.
even if oyu have changed things coz you've continued with your own perspective. can guarantee if a guy had asked the same question he'd have also got sympathetic replies but definitely more honest ones."
Ok thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?
Pull out hun...he playing you end of "
That's what a lot of guys do on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would of been miffed to. When I meet someone even if it's just a social I want their full attention. Nothing worse than being with someone who is clock watching.
If you had of posted earlier I would of suggested blowing him out to come for a drink with me "
Message me next time!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He's hedging his bets, which makes you feel a bit crap.
If you are after nsa and have met before, why have a social?
Slightly odd imo.
"
I've met people for socials when we can't play the company can be good even when it's no strings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
Don't worry about it
The chances of a guy on here getting two meets one night is virtually zero |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He's hedging his bets, which makes you feel a bit crap.
If you are after nsa and have met before, why have a social?
Slightly odd imo.
"
Because I can't play at the moment, and I've never said I want nsa fuck and go and all that, everyone uses fab differently, I thought he was on the same wavelength as me because of what he says know his profile and from previous conversations, I obviously got the wrong end of the stick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"He's hedging his bets, which makes you feel a bit crap.
If you are after nsa and have met before, why have a social?
Slightly odd imo.
I've met people for socials when we can't play the company can be good even when it's no strings "
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?
If you feel put out you do but you're not dating or in a relationship of any sort so you might ask yourself why you feel like that. No strings attached means different things to different people though.
I think it's just because I wouldn't do it to someone else that's all, if he put a meet up when he had left then no problem, just feels a bit like he'll be arranging something rather than talking to me"
Yes, your feelings are valid but the two of you clearly use the site differently. What this means is that the two of you aren't compatible, neither of you is wrong (in my opinion). |
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"I've messaged to ask if I've got the wrong end of the stick and if we are meeting tonight, but we have arranged a time and a place so unless Ive fallen into a parallel universe or something I don't know how ive got it wrong!"
Down here in liberal London untill the bars close no one knows who will be sleeping with whom so I wouldn't worry too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess.
Everyone has their own ideas on what is right or not with swinging .
I think the op is being over sensitive as our perspective is that swinging is NSA sex . Easy for us as we are happily married and don't swing to make friends . Not so easy as a single , and often even harder as a single woman as feelings and emotions get involved .
The op has said she isn't necessarily after NSA , and that she isn't that good at swinging . Fair enough , and maybe this is a learning curve for her .
The guy in question is on a swinging site and no doubt sees it more as we do than the op . He's done nothing wrong and certainly isn't being disrespectful ."
I didn't say he was being disrespectful. My comment was about a hypothetical situation relating to my own actions.
And I don't really think you can speak for this guy or what he and the OP have going on. You say he no doubt sees it more as you do than as the OP does, but you have no way of knowing that and the OP, who knows him better than either of us, has insinuated she has reason to believe otherwise.
Sometimes I approach people as people, not just as swingers. I'm happily married but I see the people I meet regularly as friends. As you say, we each have our own ways of swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs.
ok thanks for your input.
if you're a couple then i'd get you feeling miffed but you're not.
he's allowed to do what he wants on here. you don't own him or his time."
Get the feeling you haven't finished with your imput .... thinking op has got your point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think it's being over sensitive not wanting to be sidelined for someone else.
Like others have said, cancel tonight and rearrange another time when you're both commitment free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess.
Everyone has their own ideas on what is right or not with swinging .
I think the op is being over sensitive as our perspective is that swinging is NSA sex . Easy for us as we are happily married and don't swing to make friends . Not so easy as a single , and often even harder as a single woman as feelings and emotions get involved .
The op has said she isn't necessarily after NSA , and that she isn't that good at swinging . Fair enough , and maybe this is a learning curve for her .
The guy in question is on a swinging site and no doubt sees it more as we do than the op . He's done nothing wrong and certainly isn't being disrespectful .
I didn't say he was being disrespectful. My comment was about a hypothetical situation relating to my own actions.
And I don't really think you can speak for this guy or what he and the OP have going on. You say he no doubt sees it more as you do than as the OP does, but you have no way of knowing that and the OP, who knows him better than either of us, has insinuated she has reason to believe otherwise.
Sometimes I approach people as people, not just as swingers. I'm happily married but I see the people I meet regularly as friends. As you say, we each have our own ways of swinging. "
Yes we do , and please be assured that we see swingers as people . People who swing , and who are on a swinging site . Not one of the swinging people we have met would have any issue with us moving on to another meet if we felt like it , just as we wouldn't mind either . Infact there have been times we have actively encouraged it , especially when they start asking what we do for a living , what we had for tea etc......
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"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
He's not your boyfriend, he's probably killing time having a drink before the main event. I've been out for drinks with friends to kill time before going off to do other things and it's been done to me.
All parties knew the score and had the option to say yay or nay, so yes, I think you're being over sensitive.
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol
Yeah I get that it's just left me feeling like I'm not good enough, he's way way out of my league as it is!! More fool me for aiming to high!!"
Jesus wept: really?!!
You're on a site looking for no strings sex. This is someone you've met before who is happy to socialise with you outside the bedroom but also wants to enjoy the site.
I hope he doesn't read the forums because personally I'd block you, needy and insecure is unattractive. |
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else. "
I think some people aren't honest with themselves. They are looking for more than casual sex and when meets socialise after the event wires can become crossed and situations like this arise. |
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"Yes i think you are being oversensitive.
Especially for someone looking for NSA in my opinion
I never said I was looking for NSA.
I thought I saw it on your profile... apologies if that was a mistake
If you are after more than NSA I think you should be clear with him about it. I don't think it's OK for him to treat a partner this way, but I do think it's OK if you are just FWB or whatever. You need to be clear about where you both stand to answer that.
There's a difference between 'fuck and go' and being friends with benefits though don't you think? If he had just said that's what he wanted to do then it's fine but I wouldn't do it if I was out having a drink with my friends.
I've been married too long to keep up with the rules of modern courtship.
All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. If I did want to do that then we should be talking to them about a poly arrangement and not call it swinging.
If we couldn't play for any reason (e.g. time of the month) then we wouldn't have any problem with them meeting us for a drink then going off with someone else.
See, rationally I know what you're saying. But if I made plans to have drinks with any of the people we play with regularly, then I wouldn't feel right making plans to have a meet later that same night. It's because I see them as friends and I don't brush off friends that way. I'm not looking for a poly relationship, either. I just think it would be a bit wrong of me. Disrespectful, I guess.
Everyone has their own ideas on what is right or not with swinging .
I think the op is being over sensitive as our perspective is that swinging is NSA sex . Easy for us as we are happily married and don't swing to make friends . Not so easy as a single , and often even harder as a single woman as feelings and emotions get involved .
The op has said she isn't necessarily after NSA , and that she isn't that good at swinging . Fair enough , and maybe this is a learning curve for her .
The guy in question is on a swinging site and no doubt sees it more as we do than the op . He's done nothing wrong and certainly isn't being disrespectful ."
I couldn't have summed it up better! |
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"he wants sex and you're not meeting him for that.
why should he go without sex just because you don't want any?
if someone pulled this shit on me i'd honestly cancel the meet with you and not give you what you want before deny myself anything i want just coz you're a bit sad that i have needs."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say it's insensitive but he has only put the meet up.., he might not get lucky lol
Yeah I get that it's just left me feeling like I'm not good enough, he's way way out of my league as it is!! More fool me for aiming to high!!
Jesus wept: really?!!
You're on a site looking for no strings sex. This is someone you've met before who is happy to socialise with you outside the bedroom but also wants to enjoy the site.
I hope he doesn't read the forums because personally I'd block you, needy and insecure is unattractive. "
Marvellous thanks for that. As I said before I'm not looking for NSA in never said I was. I realise I'm needy, insecure and unattractive BUT I have as much right to be on here than anyone else. I asked a question, I got some answers and some really good advice job done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys "
I don't think you are being oversensitive. If the way you like to do things (and that's certainly the way I expect to do things), is focus on one person for the evening, then you have every right to hold to that standard. It's nothing to do with what type of site it's. There are plenty of men on a this site who will share your _iew. There is ample freedom within this lifestyle to persue other conquests, but for me it has to be on different days. You decide what your rules are and stick to them. Otherwise you'll feel disrespected. |
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys
I don't think you are being oversensitive. If the way you like to do things (and that's certainly the way I expect to do things), is focus on one person for the evening, then you have every right to hold to that standard. It's nothing to do with what type of site it's. There are plenty of men on a this site who will share your _iew. There is ample freedom within this lifestyle to persue other conquests, but for me it has to be on different days. You decide what your rules are and stick to them. Otherwise you'll feel disrespected."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys
I don't think you are being oversensitive. If the way you like to do things (and that's certainly the way I expect to do things), is focus on one person for the evening, then you have every right to hold to that standard. It's nothing to do with what type of site it's. There are plenty of men on a this site who will share your _iew. There is ample freedom within this lifestyle to persue other conquests, but for me it has to be on different days. You decide what your rules are and stick to them. Otherwise you'll feel disrespected.
"
And maybe both reschedule for another evening when you can both get what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a similar experience recently. Arranged a lunchtime social with a guy then he added a meet on site for 'lunchtime play' on the same day without even mentioning it. As you say you presume it's for after he meets you but many on here are happy to play around with arrangements to get the best offer.
Even if he's arranging the subsequent meet for after, he might cut your meet short to go and play, after you've got ready and travelled to meet him. Not acceptable in my _iew if he's not made that clear in advance so you can make an informed choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys
I don't think you are being oversensitive. If the way you like to do things (and that's certainly the way I expect to do things), is focus on one person for the evening, then you have every right to hold to that standard. It's nothing to do with what type of site it's. There are plenty of men on a this site who will share your _iew. There is ample freedom within this lifestyle to persue other conquests, but for me it has to be on different days. You decide what your rules are and stick to them. Otherwise you'll feel disrespected."
Never sacrifice your dignity
For your destiny
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well he is meeting you for a drink only as friends ? You are both on a swingers site where people have receational sex.
So what's the problem as you are not in a relationship you are friends, if you want it to be more then you need to tell him.
Cake and eat it springs to mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - I think you're being perfectly reasonable - I tend to agree with you.
Btw, I can't see you're profile but love your profile pic - you've got a really beautiful face. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys your going for a drink, his idea of a drink might be an hour yours might be out all evening.
Exactly, my fault for not finding out specifics "
Whose idea was it to meet for a drink and did you tell him before or after the invite that you can't play? Maybe he invited thinking you could go on after but didn't want to hurt your feelings by cancelling on you? |
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" All I know is that as a swinger, I wouldn't presume to tell any of our swing partners who else they could fuck or when. "
" Ok thanks, as I said I can be a bit oversensitive and clearly that's what I'm being "
I don't think you're being over sensitive at all, he's being insensitive.
You're certainly not telling him whom he may meet, but just asking why would he plan a meet the same evening that you guys are having a social, does it mean you'll be on a time limit? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not reading the whole thread, just wondering if you cancelled in the end? "
We rearranged, no hard feelings, he now knows I'm a wobbly twat and I know he's not a dickhead! Sorted |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I'm not reading the whole thread, just wondering if you cancelled in the end?
We rearranged, no hard feelings, he now knows I'm a wobbly twat and I know he's not a dickhead! Sorted "
Cool |
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"I'm not reading the whole thread, just wondering if you cancelled in the end?
We rearranged, no hard feelings, he now knows I'm a wobbly twat and I know he's not a dickhead! Sorted "
Good, nothing wrong with a little give and take even on a swingers site!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not reading the whole thread, just wondering if you cancelled in the end?
We rearranged, no hard feelings, he now knows I'm a wobbly twat and I know he's not a dickhead! Sorted "
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
OK my take on on this is this .
He has shown his true colours he's looking to bed hop through as many people as he can post a meet for after a meet in my opinion proves that statement .
From your post OP I can assume your not happy with the thought of just being another fuck in a list of fucks because you have a sense of your worth as a human being there fore blow him off he has been totally insensitive to how his action can be _iewed basically showing he has no respect for you past getting a shag from you .
Look I can tell just from this forum post that what he's has done you would never do that means in my book your incompatible because you think differently there is nothing wrong with that but in my opinion its best to only play with like minded people sadly he is not like you so best to walk away now .
You have a sense of self worth this post proves that his actions say he does not value you in my opinion past getting into your knickers if on a personal and emotional level you was OK with that attitude his actions would not have upset you but they have so walk away lesson learned and look for a more considerate man in the future who thinks and plays in the same way you do.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not reading the whole thread, just wondering if you cancelled in the end?
We rearranged, no hard feelings, he now knows I'm a wobbly twat and I know he's not a dickhead! Sorted "
Good news |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry but I think that he is being very insensitive on this. A social has no time limit as it's used to get to know each other better. Even if you already know each other then he shouldn't be arranging anything else as he should be giving you all his attention and not looking at his watch every 2 mins as he has a meet planned.
You sound like your a considerate person and that's a great trait to have.
Don't forget that the eyes are the windows to the soul
M
X |
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Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again "
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off. "
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off. "
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
"
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends. "
You're assuming you're going to be blown off early. What if they had no intention of doing that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm meeting someone I've previously met for a drink tonight as I can't play and he's put a meet up for what I presume/hope is later on in the evening. I guess this means our evening will be cut short to accommodate someone else... am I justified in feeling a bit put out by this or am I being completely over sensitive?"
Suck his dick....? |
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends. "
That's fine but I wouldn't expect them to be out with me all night when theyve only suggested meeting for a drink. After we've met had a drink they can do as the wish, I'm not their whole life I'm merely their friend, infact I've had it before where a friends said a guy/girl he/she is into as text to meet and I've told them to go for it and I'll see them another time, why shouldn't they have s bit of happiness even if it's only fleeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends.
You're assuming you're going to be blown off early. What if they had no intention of doing that?"
Because my idea of going to meet someone involves us staying out till late. So unless my friend is staying out with me till 2 then going to see someone else, they're blowing me off early. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends.
That's fine but I wouldn't expect them to be out with me all night when theyve only suggested meeting for a drink. After we've met had a drink they can do as the wish, I'm not their whole life I'm merely their friend, infact I've had it before where a friends said a guy/girl he/she is into as text to meet and I've told them to go for it and I'll see them another time, why shouldn't they have s bit of happiness even if it's only fleeting "
I don't claim to be anyone's whole life - my approach suits me and my friends, because I'm only friends with people who want to spend time with me. Your approach works for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sugar coat it all you like this is no different to making plans for say a coffee with a vanilla friend when you've got other plans later on the day.
So if this situations insensitive so is everyone, as we all make similar arrangements every now and again
I don't think it is. If I'm going for a drink with a friend in the evening and they tell me they're going to fuck off early to meet someone else, I'd rather just meet on a different night. If they didn't tell me and then just left early to go and meet a different friend, I would be pissed off.
I wouldn't be as their friend is respect their honesty and right to a bit of fun. If someone suggested meeting for a drink that would imply it's a quick catch up
That's cool - but I totally disagree with you. If they wanted to go and fuck someone they should just meet me another day entirely. If they want to go for a drink with me, they're going for a drink with me and I don't want them blowing me off early for something else. This applies equally to real world friends.
You're assuming you're going to be blown off early. What if they had no intention of doing that?
Because my idea of going to meet someone involves us staying out till late. So unless my friend is staying out with me till 2 then going to see someone else, they're blowing me off early. "
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
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"
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
"
You can't assume everyone will have the same standards/understanding of a situation as you, that's all part of being individuals, good communications vital to ensure both. Parties are happy and on the same page |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
You can't assume everyone will have the same standards/understanding of a situation as you, that's all part of being individuals, good communications vital to ensure both. Parties are happy and on the same page "
I don't agree with this at all you let others show their true colours in my book because failure to do so ends up with you being played be that in a relationship or just a semi regular bunk up .
Why try to modify another's behavior by telling them how they must act around you once you start down that road everything your dynamic is built on is fake because one party is modifying their behavior for sex playing the other person in the process because their true behavior is nothing like their now modified behavior . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop with the out of his league talk.. Have some worth and give him the boot.
There are plenty of guys who'd love to meet you socially I'm sure. Just remember if this guy can do this when you can't play... Then you owe him NOTHING when you can. It's called free will
Good luck and keep smiling hunny |
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"
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
You can't assume everyone will have the same standards/understanding of a situation as you, that's all part of being individuals, good communications vital to ensure both. Parties are happy and on the same page
I don't agree with this at all you let others show their true colours in my book because failure to do so ends up with you being played be that in a relationship or just a semi regular bunk up .
Why try to modify another's behavior by telling them how they must act around you once you start down that road everything your dynamic is built on is fake because one party is modifying their behavior for sex playing the other person in the process because their true behavior is nothing like their now modified behavior ."
I'm sure they would only change if they wanted to if not you're not comparable and move on I would have thought that was obvious |
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"
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
You can't assume everyone will have the same standards/understanding of a situation as you, that's all part of being individuals, good communications vital to ensure both. Parties are happy and on the same page
I don't agree with this at all you let others show their true colours in my book because failure to do so ends up with you being played be that in a relationship or just a semi regular bunk up .
Why try to modify another's behavior by telling them how they must act around you once you start down that road everything your dynamic is built on is fake because one party is modifying their behavior for sex playing the other person in the process because their true behavior is nothing like their now modified behavior .
I'm sure they would only change if they wanted to if not you're not comparable and move on I would have thought that was obvious "
Plus no one said they had to change but finding a mutually agreed compromiseis part of building healthy friendship/relationship. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Ok interesting
For me I would actually have messaged you and said look as we are meeting for a social do you mind if I advertise for a play meet after if you did mind well I would probably not meet for social because it is only a social and you have made clear you couldn't play
I think it is him doing it without mentioning it
Personally a social is a couple of hours in a bar or coffee shop getting to know each other
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"
See it's all down to expectations and context. I think the Only issue here is the OP and their Meet not communicating exactly what their intentions were. Maybe the op had your idea where the other party thought that meeting for a drink was literally that.
You can't assume everyone will have the same standards/understanding of a situation as you, that's all part of being individuals, good communications vital to ensure both. Parties are happy and on the same page
I don't agree with this at all you let others show their true colours in my book because failure to do so ends up with you being played be that in a relationship or just a semi regular bunk up .
Why try to modify another's behavior by telling them how they must act around you once you start down that road everything your dynamic is built on is fake because one party is modifying their behavior for sex playing the other person in the process because their true behavior is nothing like their now modified behavior .
I'm sure they would only change if they wanted to if not you're not comparable and move on I would have thought that was obvious
Plus no one said they had to change but finding a mutually agreed compromiseis part of building healthy friendship/relationship. "
You don't have to modify your behavior with your friends they except you for the way you are they also respect you for the way you are if they didn't you wouldn't have become friends in the first place .
What you are talking about in my opinion is about creating a false dynamic a false friendship based on one person hiding there true personality and how they would normally treat others just to get sex .
Put sex on the table and some guys will do and say anything to get it as well as act like a performing seal if that's what required of them to get it .
In my opinion let others act as they please that way you will get a true representation of them as a human being to base your judgement on.
By doing this you will be only hooking up with those who truly reflect the same values as you do and in my opinion this leads to a better more satisfying dynamic . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Very interesting read this, and one of the few times the forum is equally divided. I think what can be learnt is that people have different _iews about what NSA sex is, and people have different _iews about how they socialise with friends. For me, if I arrange to see a friend for the evening, that arrangement is for the whole evening, whether they are a vanilla friend or a swinging friend. NSA to me, mainly means the sexual relationship is not exclusive and there isn't any obligation for frequency. This how we do things, but that doesn't make it right or wrong. But it's right for us. Within this lifestyle it's important to make friends with people who share the same approach.
It's also important to communicate expectations of a meet. For example we are entertaining a man at our house next week who we've been seeing off and on for about a year and a half. I have told him exactly what time to come. I've told him it won't be a late night because I'm working the next day, and I've told him to come for a glass of wine and some fun. So he is in no doubt about time and he knows its only a drink and not dinner like it was last time. Our friendship with him is totally NSA. He sees other couples and women, and we see other men. But I feel confident that he will be focused on us that night, and us on him. And that's what we expect from NSA sex. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Very interesting read this, and one of the few times the forum is equally divided. I think what can be learnt is that people have different _iews about what NSA sex is, and people have different _iews about how they socialise with friends. For me, if I arrange to see a friend for the evening, that arrangement is for the whole evening, whether they are a vanilla friend or a swinging friend. NSA to me, mainly means the sexual relationship is not exclusive and there isn't any obligation for frequency. This how we do things, but that doesn't make it right or wrong. But it's right for us. Within this lifestyle it's important to make friends with people who share the same approach.
It's also important to communicate expectations of a meet. For example we are entertaining a man at our house next week who we've been seeing off and on for about a year and a half. I have told him exactly what time to come. I've told him it won't be a late night because I'm working the next day, and I've told him to come for a glass of wine and some fun. So he is in no doubt about time and he knows its only a drink and not dinner like it was last time. Our friendship with him is totally NSA. He sees other couples and women, and we see other men. But I feel confident that he will be focused on us that night, and us on him. And that's what we expect from NSA sex. "
Well said as usual and totally the right approach in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very interesting read this, and one of the few times the forum is equally divided. I think what can be learnt is that people have different _iews about what NSA sex is, and people have different _iews about how they socialise with friends. For me, if I arrange to see a friend for the evening, that arrangement is for the whole evening, whether they are a vanilla friend or a swinging friend. NSA to me, mainly means the sexual relationship is not exclusive and there isn't any obligation for frequency. This how we do things, but that doesn't make it right or wrong. But it's right for us. Within this lifestyle it's important to make friends with people who share the same approach.
It's also important to communicate expectations of a meet. For example we are entertaining a man at our house next week who we've been seeing off and on for about a year and a half. I have told him exactly what time to come. I've told him it won't be a late night because I'm working the next day, and I've told him to come for a glass of wine and some fun. So he is in no doubt about time and he knows its only a drink and not dinner like it was last time. Our friendship with him is totally NSA. He sees other couples and women, and we see other men. But I feel confident that he will be focused on us that night, and us on him. And that's what we expect from NSA sex.
Well said as usual and totally the right approach in my opinion "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very interesting read this, and one of the few times the forum is equally divided. I think what can be learnt is that people have different _iews about what NSA sex is, and people have different _iews about how they socialise with friends. For me, if I arrange to see a friend for the evening, that arrangement is for the whole evening, whether they are a vanilla friend or a swinging friend. NSA to me, mainly means the sexual relationship is not exclusive and there isn't any obligation for frequency. This how we do things, but that doesn't make it right or wrong. But it's right for us. Within this lifestyle it's important to make friends with people who share the same approach.
It's also important to communicate expectations of a meet. For example we are entertaining a man at our house next week who we've been seeing off and on for about a year and a half. I have told him exactly what time to come. I've told him it won't be a late night because I'm working the next day, and I've told him to come for a glass of wine and some fun. So he is in no doubt about time and he knows its only a drink and not dinner like it was last time. Our friendship with him is totally NSA. He sees other couples and women, and we see other men. But I feel confident that he will be focused on us that night, and us on him. And that's what we expect from NSA sex. "
|
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"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
"
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed. |
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"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
"
I must have missed under the sites T&C that you must always agree with the op, never express an opinion on how you use the site if it differs from the masses.
My bad! |
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"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed."
*aren't compatible |
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"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
I must have missed under the sites T&C that you must always agree with the op, never express an opinion on how you use the site if it differs from the masses.
My bad! "
I think it was meant to be sarcasm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed."
I've missed where I placed blame on anyone for having a different opinion. I'm very much an advocate for supporting people's _iews whether they differ with mine or not.
However the OP on this thread has faced some very strong 'suck it up buttercup' responses... All of which are right from the opinion giver... But with very little empathy for the OP and how she chooses to conduct herself on here.
Cherry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys "
Just because it isn't a dating site doesn't mean common curtesy isn't required . To invite you out for drinks while looking for another meet is just rude . He would be off my list for sure . |
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"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed.
I've missed where I placed blame on anyone for having a different opinion. I'm very much an advocate for supporting people's _iews whether they differ with mine or not.
However the OP on this thread has faced some very strong 'suck it up buttercup' responses... All of which are right from the opinion giver... But with very little empathy for the OP and how she chooses to conduct herself on here.
Cherry "
And others have had no empathy for the man who isn't even here to defend himself, someone needs to advocate on his behalf and how he chooses to conduct himself on here. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I think i am probably being oversensitive.. it's not a dating site is it? I'm sure its nothing personal. Thanks guys
Just because it isn't a dating site doesn't mean common curtesy isn't required . To invite you out for drinks while looking for another meet is just rude . He would be off my list for sure . "
totally the right approach in my opinion . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed.
I've missed where I placed blame on anyone for having a different opinion. I'm very much an advocate for supporting people's _iews whether they differ with mine or not.
However the OP on this thread has faced some very strong 'suck it up buttercup' responses... All of which are right from the opinion giver... But with very little empathy for the OP and how she chooses to conduct herself on here.
Cherry
And others have had no empathy for the man who isn't even here to defend himself, someone needs to advocate on his behalf and how he chooses to conduct himself on here."
Can I just point out that this wasn't a witch hunt. I don't think he's a terrible person, I don't think what he did was a terrible thing, I was just asking a people's opinions, he's lovely, it was just miss communication. I'm not going to block him for a misunderstanding nor is he going to block me because I want to do things a bit differently to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed.
I've missed where I placed blame on anyone for having a different opinion. I'm very much an advocate for supporting people's _iews whether they differ with mine or not.
However the OP on this thread has faced some very strong 'suck it up buttercup' responses... All of which are right from the opinion giver... But with very little empathy for the OP and how she chooses to conduct herself on here.
Cherry
And others have had no empathy for the man who isn't even here to defend himself, someone needs to advocate on his behalf and how he chooses to conduct himself on here.
Can I just point out that this wasn't a witch hunt. I don't think he's a terrible person, I don't think what he did was a terrible thing, I was just asking a people's opinions, he's lovely, it was just miss communication. I'm not going to block him for a misunderstanding nor is he going to block me because I want to do things a bit differently to him "
....exactly my point. It's all about communication. Glad you got it sorted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reading this whole thread I am shocked that the OP clearly forgot to read the T&Cs of this site.
- You must leave all feelings and emotions aside
- You must only ever use this site for arranging sex.... Do not dare being your own motives here, they are not welcome!
- If you aren't willing to put out, move over for someone that is
- Don't question anything, you'll be wrong because it isn't the way other people _iew it
(oh dear)
I feel for you I really do. When I had my single profile I didn't fit in with the conventions of NSA sex. Even attending clubs on my own I was looking for friendships and connections first and see what developed from there. I was often called a fraud. But do you know what? I didn't give a shit. I didn't play by everyone else's rules... But I found my own happiness.
Do not allow this place to dictate your own self worth. It can be damaging.
For what it's worth... in my eyes he is being a dick. But only you can decide how you react to that.
Cherry
Neither of them is wrong in my opinion as I said above they just are compatible having as they do, different expectations and requirements. Having differing opinions is allowed.
I've missed where I placed blame on anyone for having a different opinion. I'm very much an advocate for supporting people's _iews whether they differ with mine or not.
However the OP on this thread has faced some very strong 'suck it up buttercup' responses... All of which are right from the opinion giver... But with very little empathy for the OP and how she chooses to conduct herself on here.
Cherry
And others have had no empathy for the man who isn't even here to defend himself, someone needs to advocate on his behalf and how he chooses to conduct himself on here."
I'm all for airing personal _iews and opinions but how you can advocate for a person's intentions you could not possibly know is somewhat a stretch too far. You can of course speculate and put alternative theories based on your own experience which in a sense is providing mitigation on his behalf.
This isn't a case of wrong or right. The OP asked a valid question and whether people belief it was right to do so on here or not is a completely different matter. She asked for other people's _iews and from what I can see has taken all the answers with a fair amount of grace.
Cherry |
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