FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meeting a cheater

Meeting a cheater

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

We wouldn't knowingly meet a cheater, because if they can lie to their partner, doesn't make them a trustworthy person for us to meet, so not interested.

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By *ids_NaughtyCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

agree with last posters comments about trust...but equally wouldn't want to find ourselves caught up in all the rubbish that occurs when the cheater gets found out, because they always will. don't want some ranting wife or hubby giving us grief cus their otherhalf couldn't have the sense to sit down and talk to their partner about swinging and so went off cheating instead!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

We don't knowingly meet people playing without a partners knowledge we never ask them to explain why they're doing it and never feel the need to explain why we won't meet them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Away from swinging I've had affairs with married men but wouldn't go out of my way to meet one now. I do ,however, find that they are more discrete as have more to lose.

Saying that, I only meet at clubs or parties nowadays so don't even ask for marital status.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

We wouldn't knowingly meet a cheater, because if they can lie to their partner, doesn't make them a trustworthy person for us to meet, so not interested."

Makes sense

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By *ucyfur77Woman over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

Don't need the drama

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"agree with last posters comments about trust...but equally wouldn't want to find ourselves caught up in all the rubbish that occurs when the cheater gets found out, because they always will. don't want some ranting wife or hubby giving us grief cus their otherhalf couldn't have the sense to sit down and talk to their partner about swinging and so went off cheating instead!"

Very true! When shit hits the fan, you proably don't want to be around

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

I'm against it morally, (but don't preach/comment unless asked), but also, what if the partner finds out and causes trouble?

....erm, no cheers....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a man or woman I in a sexless relationship it would not be very helpful to sit down and talk about swinging x

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By *easerxxWoman over a year ago

merseyside

These type if posts always intrigue me.

People morals are brought into it and assumptions made on others situation.

It's like when the old 'fake boob' discussion starts and people write hurtful comments about others, not appreciating that some have had surgery for reasons that are beyond vanity.

There are lots of reasons people do things.

'Cheating' implies certain situations, conjures up a happy couple but where one is running out shagging others while dutiful wife / husband sits at home unaware.

I'm sure there are as many reasons for seeking satisfaction outside the marriage.

I fully respect those who choose not to meet a married person.

Just wish people were more honest and open as I'm sure a goid percentage of the ' single folk on here' have some sort of relationship going on outside of Fab.

Just my thoughts x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"These type if posts always intrigue me.

People morals are brought into it and assumptions made on others situation.

It's like when the old 'fake boob' discussion starts and people write hurtful comments about others, not appreciating that some have had surgery for reasons that are beyond vanity.

There are lots of reasons people do things.

'Cheating' implies certain situations, conjures up a happy couple but where one is running out shagging others while dutiful wife / husband sits at home unaware.

I'm sure there are as many reasons for seeking satisfaction outside the marriage.

I fully respect those who choose not to meet a married person.

Just wish people were more honest and open as I'm sure a goid percentage of the ' single folk on here' have some sort of relationship going on outside of Fab.

Just my thoughts x

Completely agree with you there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest.""

Yeah. I think that's one of th things that annoys me. Saw someone here the other day who said they were 'honest' yet playing behind their partner's back.

Shooting themselves in the foot

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By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

cahoots

Having both been cheated on in previous relationships we know the hurt that is caused so simply don't want to be a part of causing that hurt to others.

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

I've met guys on here who are on fab with out their partners knowledge at the end of the day they were honest enough to own up to having a partner and having been bedded by guys away from fab only to find out later they are attached... Knowing upfront is best

I'd they are going to play away then they are thing to do it anyway

I'm not proud to be soon-to-be a guy had cheated with and id hate to be the one being cheated on, but there are lots of reasons people stray

I don't see much diff between a guy or girl on here having fun and a couple doing it, were all meeting our needs at the end of the day and it doesn't mean we have chatting hearts just exploring bodies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to be really self righteous about this situation.

Then I got into a discussion about it and the result being, it's not down to me to adjust their moral compass. They can only do that themselves, if they want to cheat on their partner no one's going to stop them but themselves.

I don't actively meet cheating partners, but I've found out after a few have, too late by then for me to do anything!

I can't exactly say "Gimme that blow job back you cheating bitch!"

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

Damn typos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Having both been cheated on in previous relationships we know the hurt that is caused so simply don't want to be a part of causing that hurt to others."

Absolutely this. Had it done to me and devestated my life beyond belief. I would never knowingly inflict that kind of pain on anyone x

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By *avewestcumbriaMan over a year ago

Whitehaven

I'm quite open on my profile about playing without my wife's knowledge. It allows people to make that decision about meeting me immediately without wasting either of our time, but I think the reason for playing away is personal to each individual and I only discuss that with people I have genuinely befriended on here.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

The thought of some woman feeling like I did when someone was shagging my husband behind my back is enough to make me sick. I want to hold my head up high and have self respect. I may be on this site,but I still have my own morals as far as cheating people are concerned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I used to be really self righteous about this situation.

I don't actively meet cheating partners, but I've found out after a few have, too late by then for me to do anything!

I can't exactly say "Gimme that blow job back you cheating bitch!"

Yeah. Have been in a situation where a guy turned out to be married. Found out after we did the dirty so to speak

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By *eovilcouple76Couple over a year ago

yeovil

We've played with guys who have an unknowing partner before. The way we see it, WE aren't the ones in the wrong. As long as they're prepared to face the consequences if they get found out then so be it.

Besides, I bet a pretty good percentage of single males on here aren't quite as single as they say, and it's awkward enough finding someone to meet without ruling out yet more possibilities.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Its not worth really hurting someone else for some fun.I dont judge people but its not for me.Miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I prefer to meet people who are cheating. They seem far less likely to start getting too involved. As long as they're fine with it, then so am I.

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By *cothereMan over a year ago

ayrshire

"These type if posts always intrigue me.

People morals are brought into it and assumptions made on others situation.

It's like when the old 'fake boob' discussion starts and people write hurtful comments about others, not appreciating that some have had surgery for reasons that are beyond vanity.

There are lots of reasons people do things.

'Cheating' implies certain situations, conjures up a happy couple but where one is running out shagging others while dutiful wife / husband sits at home unaware.

I'm sure there are as many reasons for seeking satisfaction outside the marriage.

I fully respect those who choose not to meet a married person.

Just wish people were more honest and open as I'm sure a goid percentage of the ' single folk on here' have some sort of relationship going on outside of Fab.

Just my thoughts x

Love the profile would love to find someone like you closer to home

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By *cothereMan over a year ago

ayrshire

[Removed by poster at 08/08/16 16:50:25]

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By *ap AdgeMan over a year ago

Wirral

"The thought of some woman feeling like I did when someone was shagging my husband behind my back is enough to make me sick. I want to hold my head up high and have self respect. I may be on this site,but I still have my own morals as far as cheating people are concerned."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest."

Yeah. I think that's one of th things that annoys me. Saw someone here the other day who said they were 'honest' yet playing behind their partner's back.

Shooting themselves in the foot "

Exactly the kind of comment which makes some cheaters hide the fact that they are attached.

There are degrees on honesty, I for one would prefer people to be 'honest' on here about their situation & then others can make an informed choice.

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy."

I'll be honest I don't ask, in clubs it's not feasible to check someone's relationship status and for arranged meets people can lie anyway so it's just not practical to try and prove things either way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Theres alot of Married ladies on here who for many reasons feel the need for extra sex .

One Lady told me Fab was saving Her Marriage as Hubby was 10 years older and was loosing His libido just as Hers was going through the roof .

In my early days on here i was quite gung ho and Met alot of people.

Not sure id meet attached people now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't think cheating has anything to with Fab. Human beings have cheated since the dawn of time. In some periods of history it was the norm for a man of certain social standing to have a mistress. Current UK statistics are that 45% of British men have cheated at some point, with stats for women a little lower but still high. Thankfully my husband can't cheat because he has my permission to do what nearly half the male population apparently will do at some point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no problem meeting married guys. I feel that their marriage is none of my business. I've never had any drama.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Having both been cheated on in previous relationships we know the hurt that is caused so simply don't want to be a part of causing that hurt to others."

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By *andsonjohnMan over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy."

That's a interesting I'm guessing observations from your experiences where as mine a very much the opposite .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My profile is open and honest about my marital status that way people know what I'm about from the get go.

Morales and standards are born out of experience. My experiences have led me into a sexless unemotional marriage.

Whatever is going on behind me doesn't affect what happens Infront of me.

If I choose to meet someone here they are afforded the same amount of discretion as the next person.

Personally married women turn me on.

If you don't like married men at least with me you know from the off to avoid me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy.

That's a interesting I'm guessing observations from your experiences where as mine a very much the opposite ."

Older ones, fine with it. It's the younger men that seem to find it harder to actually do anything. And yes, that's just in my experience. *prays her inbox isn't suddenly awash with younger adulterers*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest."

Yeah. I think that's one of th things that annoys me. Saw someone here the other day who said they were 'honest' yet playing behind their partner's back.

Shooting themselves in the foot

Exactly the kind of comment which makes some cheaters hide the fact that they are attached.

There are degrees on honesty, I for one would prefer people to be 'honest' on here about their situation & then others can make an informed choice.

As I said, we don't really care ... until someone uses the "honest" word.

Someone proclaiming to be honest when they are cheating on their partner (and, yes, I appreciate that there may be many reasons), is self delusional and untrustworthy.

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

"We've played with guys who have an unknowing partner before. The way we see it, WE aren't the ones in the wrong. As long as they're prepared to face the consequences if they get found out then so be it.

Besides, I bet a pretty good percentage of single males on here aren't quite as single as they say, and it's awkward enough finding someone to meet without ruling out yet more possibilities. "

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By *ot Wife BeckyCouple over a year ago

Near Bergerac

No easy answer to this one.....

When playing with a single guy in a club, do you ask his marital status before you play...?

No, of course not...

Would I start a long term relationship with a married guy..? No, not at all..

So guess it's down to individual circumstances...

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy."

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

"Don't think cheating has anything to with Fab. Human beings have cheated since the dawn of time. In some periods of history it was the norm for a man of certain social standing to have a mistress. Current UK statistics are that 45% of British men have cheated at some point, with stats for women a little lower but still high. Thankfully my husband can't cheat because he has my permission to do what nearly half the male population apparently will do at some point. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the past I've met married or attached guys for fun and also had an affair with a married guy for a while. Their marital status is theirs, nothing to do with me.

I do think the natural reaction is to imagine a sweet woman at home, being a perfect wife and being shamelessly cheated on by some lothario who just can't keep it in his pants. Whilst I'm sure that does happen, it's certainly not always the case. The only people who truly know what is happening in a relationship are the two people who are in it, and therefore nobody else should judge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest."

Yeah. I think that's one of th things that annoys me. Saw someone here the other day who said they were 'honest' yet playing behind their partner's back.

Shooting themselves in the foot

Exactly the kind of comment which makes some cheaters hide the fact that they are attached.

There are degrees on honesty, I for one would prefer people to be 'honest' on here about their situation & then others can make an informed choice.

As I said, we don't really care ... until someone uses the "honest" word.

Someone proclaiming to be honest when they are cheating on their partner (and, yes, I appreciate that there may be many reasons), is self delusional and untrustworthy."

So if I someone said upfront to you 'I'm attached, lets fuck' you'd be okay but if they were to add they word 'honest' into the equation you wouldn't....:

Like i said they're are degrees of honesty especially on the Internet...slight tweak of age, height, size, close up pics to flatter ~ so are they all self delusional & untrustworthy too?

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

I rarely get to meet so when I do like long meets full of social an sexual fun, a lot of the time they are overnight meets, attached guys can only usually meet on certain days at certain times so that obviously doesn't suit what I'm looking for.

Also I don't like to accommodate unless I've met someone previously (as it would be in the home I share with my children) and most attached guys can accommodate at home (for obvious reasons) and the Mrs might notice some of the bank balance disappear if we were to get and hotel, I don't do outdoor or car meets so they don't suit what I'm looking for on that level too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I rarely get to meet so when I do like long meets full of social an sexual fun, a lot of the time they are overnight meets, attached guys can only usually meet on certain days at certain times so that obviously doesn't suit what I'm looking for.

"
A very sensible and reasoned response , we think we all have reasons for not wanting to meet attached just as they have their reasons for being here freedom of choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't because I personally would hate to be cheated on, esp on here. Saying that if they don't tell me that's there problem, as I'm a scratcher

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"I don't because I personally would hate to be cheated on, esp on here. Saying that if they don't tell me that's there problem, as I'm a scratcher

I had scratch marks down my back after a meet a few weeks ago! Had there been a wife to see them that would've been a major problem to explain!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

I was very forced to be with a cheater so I gave in to him because when I left him he was very aggressive to Me!I feel very bad for his Girlfriend especially because they've been together for Year's and some of his friends are encouraging him to be with Me,they harass Me now because I won't be with him.Just proves why I Shouldn't be with him at all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

Wow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We really don't care (shock, horror) as long as the person does not ram the fact down our throats or claim to be "honest."

Yeah. I think that's one of th things that annoys me. Saw someone here the other day who said they were 'honest' yet playing behind their partner's back.

Shooting themselves in the foot

Exactly the kind of comment which makes some cheaters hide the fact that they are attached.

There are degrees on honesty, I for one would prefer people to be 'honest' on here about their situation & then others can make an informed choice.

As I said, we don't really care ... until someone uses the "honest" word.

Someone proclaiming to be honest when they are cheating on their partner (and, yes, I appreciate that there may be many reasons), is self delusional and untrustworthy.

So if I someone said upfront to you 'I'm attached, lets fuck' you'd be okay but if they were to add they word 'honest' into the equation you wouldn't....:

Like i said they're are degrees of honesty especially on the Internet...slight tweak of age, height, size, close up pics to flatter ~ so are they all self delusional & untrustworthy too?

I am afraid I would not. It may seem strange but I understand why attached people cheat but the moment that they attribute "honesty" to it, I am not interested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

Wow

I know been happening for Four Year's his Girlfriend Is Beautiful and Successful and doesn't deserve to be cheated on at all I'm shocked his friends are condoning him being with Me!

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By *mojeeCouple over a year ago

Dunfermline

Tbh it's none of our business. If that person wants to cheat and can live with their own conscience then it's up to them. We know what we are doing together so we have no problem with it.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

Personally I would not arrange a meet with a cheat.

Firstly the honesty thing...if she is prepared to lie to her partner, presumably someone very important in her life, I really doubt she can be honest with me. I then have cause to doubt anything she says about her sexual health, sexual history...and so on.

But perhaps more important, I have witnessed the damage cheating can do even when one partner does not know the other is cheating....they are being hurt....the secretive texting, working late or finding courses 100 miles away to go on...visiting the gym and so on...the cheating partner spends a lot less time with their spouse and the relationship is damaged. I've seen it too many times and do not wish to be a part of that.

And if the innocent party does find out...the fallout is horrendous. I've known a friend who was "the other woman" and having an angry wife phone up or even turn up on the doorstep is no fun.

So I will not knowingly be a part of cheating. If I happen to meet someone at a club and their partner doesn't know they are there, that's probably simply not for me to know. But I've been in this scene a long time...10 years ago cheating was not a part of swinging. I do find it rather sad that it's quite accepted now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Personally I would not arrange a meet with a cheat.

And if the innocent party does find out...the fallout is horrendous. I've known a friend who was "the other woman" and having an angry wife phone up or even turn up on the doorstep is no fun.

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By *erfectman122Man over a year ago

from somewhere nice

If they cheat it's none of my business I don't agree with it but every one who does has there reasons for doing it each to there own

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By *oul BrothaMan over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Fab has a stringent moral code. Should be built into the sign up process.

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By *easerxxWoman over a year ago

merseyside

Are we discussing swinging, or having an affair.

2 totally different things.

One includes feelings, dating, meals, wine, presents flowers, overnight love nests, planning and deceiving.

The other involves.... sex.

I'm not condoning or arguing, just pointing out that sometimes people use this site as a dating site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally I would not arrange a meet with a cheat.

And if the innocent party does find out...the fallout is horrendous. I've known a friend who was "the other woman" and having an angry wife phone up or even turn up on the doorstep is no fun.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Can't be arsed.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

"Are we discussing swinging, or having an affair.

2 totally different things.

One includes feelings, dating, meals, wine, presents flowers, overnight love nests, planning and deceiving.

The other involves.... sex.

I'm not condoning or arguing, just pointing out that sometimes people use this site as a dating site. "

It's not so clear cut. Swinging has always had a social side which might include a meal out now and again...sometimes as part of a sexy meet and sometimes just because you get on with the people you're having sex with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got no problems with it and I have met few and had a good time

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i do what i like, with whom i like..no need to justify that to anyone x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i do what i like, with whom i like..no need to justify that to anyone x"

Good for you

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By *easerxxWoman over a year ago

merseyside

"Are we discussing swinging, or having an affair.

2 totally different things.

One includes feelings, dating, meals, wine, presents flowers, overnight love nests, planning and deceiving.

The other involves.... sex.

I'm not condoning or arguing, just pointing out that sometimes people use this site as a dating site.

agree, but a social is generally used to ensure both agree boundaries and both are happy to proceed, not to sit holding hands over a candle - lit dinner, discussing how bad their home life is , unless of course, it's a date, which brings us back to the swing or affair part of single or attached.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A man having integrity is a big part of me finding him attractive and therefore being turned on by him. As soon as I know they're cheating, I lose all respect for them, and wouldn't want them anywhere near me.

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By *lla_maiWoman over a year ago

staffordshire

My reason is purely the fact that its happened to me and therefore I know the damage that it causes to the partners. However if it hadnt of happened to me id still be against it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has been debated to death now its personal choice surely we ve learnt that each to their own

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"This has been debated to death now its personal choice surely we ve learnt that each to their own

That's true although for some part of the sexual attraction is that sense of honesty and integrity so the moral and the sexual can't be easily disentangled in all cases

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

"A man having integrity is a big part of me finding him attractive and therefore being turned on by him. As soon as I know they're cheating, I lose all respect for them, and wouldn't want them anywhere near me. "

I think this ties in with how I feel too.

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

I think this ties in with how I feel too. "

You're only interested in men with integrity?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had to convince my wife to try swinging. It was a long series of painful talks. Painful but it brought us closer.

I could have gone off and cheated but I want to do this with her. For me, it's better this way. I'd she says no then it's no. I have to abide by her decision, just like if I say no she has to abide by mine.

I believe in ethical non monogamy. But that's my choice, not everyone's choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tend not to meet guys who are cheating because i find they are just after quickies and tend to spend their time clock watching

I prefer to meet somebody who has time to put into a meet and while with me not have their mind on other things things like how long have they got before the pubs close and they have to go home

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By *easerxxWoman over a year ago

merseyside

"I tend not to meet guys who are cheating because i find they are just after quickies and tend to spend their time clock watching

I prefer to meet somebody who has time to put into a meet and while with me not have their mind on other things things like how long have they got before the pubs close and they have to go home "

great _iew on this and perfect reason.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of a cheating wife or girlfriend so I wouldn't be a party to one that is.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

I think this ties in with how I feel too.

You're only interested in men with integrity?"

It fits in with how I feel. I would be a lot less attracted to a woman if I discovered she was cheating, because I find honesty an attractive trait. And I am turned off by dishonesty.

I also take the point about people who are single or who have their partner's permission to play away being less likely to clock-watch, and more likely to have their mind on our play. They're also much less likely to cancel at the last minute. If they've been honest with their own partner, there's no need to cover by claiming they're going to a flower arranging class, or to cancel because hubby decided not to go out and watch the sport with his mates.

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By *iffraffMan over a year ago

Gloucester

"I'm quite open on my profile about playing without my wife's knowledge. It allows people to make that decision about meeting me immediately without wasting either of our time, but I think the reason for playing away is personal to each individual and I only discuss that with people I have genuinely befriended on here."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I some what agree. Weak men are unattractive to me. If you're not happy, leave!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

"
that's interesting. Can you say why?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Knowing someone is willing to risk everything for a meeting, I think its the cuckold coming out in us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Knowing someone is willing to risk everything for a meeting, I think its the cuckold coming out in us

"
ok, I see. is it also an ego boost knowing they seem to be willing to risk so much?

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't because I personally would hate to be cheated on, esp on here. Saying that if they don't tell me that's there problem, as I'm a scratcher

I had scratch marks down my back after a meet a few weeks ago! Had there been a wife to see them that would've been a major problem to explain!!"

Me three, a few weeks ago, with bruises on thighs and breasts. I don't think, "I was attacked by a feral dog," would have got me very far if he didn't know!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

Reply with 'ypur worst nightmare' followed by an evil laugh.

(Just joking

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

I don't give my number out so I have no fear of that, I don't even tell most guys I meet my name

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

I don't give my number out so I have no fear of that, I don't even tell most guys I meet my name

Do you give out fake names?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

I find that quite a horrifying statement,especially as children are more often involved in cheating as well. I'll never forget how traumatised my kid's were and cradling my 6 year old who was devastated on the day her dad left for good is something I won't forget. We're all different though aren't we.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

I don't give my number out so I have no fear of that, I don't even tell most guys I meet my name

Do you give out fake names? "

No, I met a guy four times once and never at any of the meets did I ask his name nor he ask mine, most guys just don't ask so that's easy for those who do I just politely say my name's not relivent i never ask people on here what their name is

I just don't see what it matter if your only meeting for sex

I mean obviously if you have met somebody as a party, chatted at a social that's different, people are bound to get to know your name when your with other people who know you

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"I don't even tell most guys I meet my name

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

Something else brought up here...real names. I don't understand not giving one's "real" name. I respect every lady and couple I meet, and that means they are entitled to know my name.

The name given in my profile is the truncated form of my full name, and one used by about half the people who know me. Anyone I chat with where it looks like we meet, I tell them the full name.

Seems simple, decent respect to me?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Something else brought up here...real names. I don't understand not giving one's "real" name. I respect every lady and couple I meet, and that means they are entitled to know my name.

The name given in my profile is the truncated form of my full name, and one used by about half the people who know me. Anyone I chat with where it looks like we meet, I tell them the full name.

Seems simple, decent respect to me?"

Probably has no time to give them out?

A case of wham bam, thank you maam?

Or am I wrong?..i probably am..as always

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

Besides, I bet a pretty good percentage of single males on here aren't quite as single as they say, and it's awkward enough finding someone to meet without ruling out yet more possibilities. "
Could'nt agree with you more

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy."
Totally agree

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

"In the past I've met married or attached guys for fun and also had an affair with a married guy for a while. Their marital status is theirs, nothing to do with me.

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

"Tbh it's none of our business. If that person wants to cheat and can live with their own conscience then it's up to them. We know what we are doing together so we have no problem with it. "

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

"i do what i like, with whom i like..no need to justify that to anyone x"
good for you girl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Something else brought up here...real names. I don't understand not giving one's "real" name. I respect every lady and couple I meet, and that means they are entitled to know my name.

The name given in my profile is the truncated form of my full name, and one used by about half the people who know me. Anyone I chat with where it looks like we meet, I tell them the full name.

Seems simple, decent respect to me?"

Not a case of respect for me

It's just a case of its just sex, we meet, we have sex, we go home, they don't need to know my phone number, name or where I live for that

As I said above it does depend in the situation though, if I go to a social or a party where I'm socialising its different, as people will introduce you to others etc but just a one off fuck off here I prefer them to know as little about me as possible and I never as them for personal information

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By *erksGuy3Man over a year ago

Aquitaine France

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Love you guys lol

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids "

No,but thing's escalate though don't they. One minute it may be a quick shag,then you meet them again and again. The next minute someone slips up wife/husband find's out,then the shit hits the pan...

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

Ah OK. I don't really like to do one off fucks, nor quick meets. So there's a need for a basic level of mutual respect as I am hoping to spend several hours exploring each other's bodies.

But yes, if you're just after a one off and quick fuck...perhaps no need.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids

No,but thing's escalate though don't they. One minute it may be a quick shag,then you meet them again and again. The next minute someone slips up wife/husband find's out,then the shit hits the pan..."

Yeah I'm not defending anybody, my ex left me for a woman we used to meet together and I have three kids, but people don't think about that, I guess people just do what's right for them, other people's problems aren't theirs are they that's the point of swinging you can just walk away

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah OK. I don't really like to do one off fucks, nor quick meets. So there's a need for a basic level of mutual respect as I am hoping to spend several hours exploring each other's bodies.

But yes, if you're just after a one off and quick fuck...perhaps no need."

Hey never said anything about a quick fuck

All because Im not intending to meet them again I still expect a decent session, not a half hour fuck and go and I still expect them to pleasure me not just take

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids

No,but thing's escalate though don't they. One minute it may be a quick shag,then you meet them again and again. The next minute someone slips up wife/husband find's out,then the shit hits the pan...

You're right you can,unless of course that wife or husband comes a knocking on your door

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fab has a stringent moral code. Should be built into the sign up process."

Really?! What moral code would that be then?

I suggest people live by their own moral codes & let others live theirs.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids

No,but thing's escalate though don't they. One minute it may be a quick shag,then you meet them again and again. The next minute someone slips up wife/husband find's out,then the shit hits the pan...

You're right you can,unless of course that wife or husband comes a knocking on your door

Use kik & meet people out of the area in hotels, there's no need to give out anymore personal details than absolutlely necessary.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't want the dreaded "Who is this?" phone call from a woman's voice

I don't give my number out so I have no fear of that, I don't even tell most guys I meet my name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fab has a stringent moral code. Should be built into the sign up process.

Really?! What moral code would that be then?

I suggest people live by their own moral codes & let others live theirs.....

The code is: "Swingers break marriage vows."

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"Fab has a stringent moral code. Should be built into the sign up process.

Really?! What moral code would that be then?

I suggest people live by their own moral codes & let others live theirs.....

The code is: "Swingers break marriage vows."

If of course they took traditional vows, if they chose to write their own, they may not have even pledged to be faithful to their spouse forsaking all others.

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By *annonball colMan over a year ago

somerset

Shits gettin deep

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm quite partial to married/partnered men

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By *annonball colMan over a year ago

somerset

Single girls up for sex!?= sexy! Sluts who wanna suck someone else off = fuck toy + unhygienic... Never the less, bag up bro an let her floss on your pubes if that's what she wants!

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Single girls up for sex!?= sexy! Sluts who wanna suck someone else off = fuck toy + unhygienic... Never the less, bag up bro an let her floss on your pubes if that's what she wants!

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By *laqgrapeMan over a year ago

Sanderstead

Why cheat in the first place with fab around?

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By *inecrestMan over a year ago

West Yorks

I take the _iew that the person I meet knows their own circumstances and state of their relationship, I don't, so who am I to judge them? As long as I'm not put in danger or in an embarrassing situation, I'm okay with meeting them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

horrifying statement!!

What we find horrifying is that daddy coming home to his 6 yo daughter pretending that she is the most important being in his life. Best that he gets found out before he has to make a life and death decision that might affect his family.

Lets face the facts if someone is going to cheat on here they are also cheating in the real world. Perhaps its less complicated on here, less chance of getting caught (meeting strangers outside of the family circle). The ratio of long term relationships developing on here must be a lot lower than with affairs started through work and friends.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

This for me is fun. It's taken time to find out what I require from playmates to make it work for me.

Being bought a gift of bath products and scent (as used by the wife) and asked to use them prior to play to avoid scent transfer.

Clock watching.

Cancellations...to name but a few reasons I won't meet married men.

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By *otgirl32Woman over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

I don't judge others

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't judge either - we all have our reasons

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By *mallteaserWoman over a year ago

Central

Exactly xx

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

If of course they took traditional vows, if they chose to write their own, they may not have even pledged to be faithful to their spouse forsaking all others. "

Yep...this....

My wife and I married in America where we were able to look at the vows and alter them. No references to being true to each other, or forsaking all others in our vows and there is no reason why others cannot do the same.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

ive been on the receiving end of one of those women who found out...quite frankly i understand why he was doing it...and i told her so too..she then had the freedom to stay with him or leave..again thats her choice, i was just the catalyst..

telling me, i shouldn't sleep with married men, is like telling me directly that i shouldn't sleep with couples on here. you cant tell me its ok to commit adultery with one person and not another, because of their kids or their partner..that is just illogical..so i have no morals on the marriage status..as for lying. everyone lies..who's to say your lie is any more moral than anyone elses....

makes me laugh...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh..."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh..."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving. "

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh..."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me it is about a couple of things,

1 Respect, if they can't respect their wife/husband then they certainly aren't going to respect me or my partner.

2 Trouble, I don't want their wife/husband knocking on my door when they are over with us and bringing trouble to My doorstep or outing me to anyone.

It isn't worth the drama and I respect myself more than they respect their partner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Honestly could not care less.

If they are cheating, it's a symptom of something not quite right in their relationship and it's up to them to tackle the cause, or not.

I don't cheat because I have the whole 'open and honest' thing going on. All I ask is that those who do have a partner let me know, so we can make arrangements to be more discreet.

However, many of those never make it to 'meet' stage as the ones who actually want to do something are few and far between. Most just want the fantasy."

Totally agree with Elcee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation."

Absolute rubbish. Of course it's far more complex than that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have the same situation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation.

Absolute rubbish. Of course it's far more complex than that. "

No, it's not. Love is about meeting your partner's needs. It's really that simple. Everything else is about how people justify their actions to themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seen a lot of abuse towards cheaters etc on here.

I personally am against meeting someone playing behind their partner's back, but it's got me thinking.

What are your reasons for not wanting to meet someone who is cheating?

Or are you someone that is ok wit it?

Would like to know from both sides to see what everyone thinks regarding this touchy subject.

No catty comments please. Let's all play nicely.x

I prefer not to meet people who play behind their partners back, much better to be honest .

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation."

Whilst I wouldn't condone cheating I think that is very harsh, to say someone with issues regarding libido can't love someone is a very black and white way of looking at it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation.

Whilst I wouldn't condone cheating I think that is very harsh, to say someone with issues regarding libido can't love someone is a very black and white way of looking at it"

You can have a low libido but still make the effort to satisfy. If couples only ever had sex when they were both rampant, there would be a hell of a lot of sexless relationships. It's about communication and understanding. For women in particular, having relationship issues outside the bedroom can influence their desire for their partner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fab has a stringent moral code. Should be built into the sign up process.

Really?! What moral code would that be then?

I suggest people live by their own moral codes & let others live theirs.....

The code is: "Swingers break marriage vows."

Not all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real. "

Sounds like she got the tired old "poor me and my awful wife" line..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation.

Absolute rubbish. Of course it's far more complex than that.

No, it's not. Love is about meeting your partner's needs. It's really that simple. Everything else is about how people justify their actions to themselves."

If the woman isn't putting out, her needs aren't being met by the man. So, by your standards, the man doesn't love her.

You're over simplifying that scenario by a very long way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is in a loving, happy, but sexless marriage with a spouse who expects faithfulness, that person has 3 choices: a lifetime of celebacy, finding sex elsewhere, or leaving.

Unless there's a valid medical reason, a partner who refuses sex simply doesn't love you. They love the situation.

Absolute rubbish. Of course it's far more complex than that.

No, it's not. Love is about meeting your partner's needs. It's really that simple. Everything else is about how people justify their actions to themselves.

If the woman isn't putting out, her needs aren't being met by the man. So, by your standards, the man doesn't love her.

You're over simplifying that scenario by a very long way. "

Why are their needs not being met? Two possibilities really - they have failed to communicate them, or they have and the other person doesn't respond, because they don't really love them. Again, communication and being willing to meet the other's needs. It works both ways.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real.

Sounds like she got the tired old "poor me and my awful wife" line.."
np actually i got the 'hes done it before' line..and i went well you now you have tan empowered choice, you can still stay with him, or, you can do the leaving. ita your life, no one can own him and no one owns you..take some self responsibility and good luck with your life choices..

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

Why bother meeting a guy who is cheating when I could take my pick of the thousands who aren't. He is not worth the hassle nor the ensuing drama

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!"

Oh dear we have never thought it was possible but you've now put a massive ? In to our lifes, we're not sure if we want to continue now

We have no need to cheat on each other but you are right yes it can still happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real. "

Leaving isn't always the right thing to do, or the best thing to do, or even possible to do.

The married guy I saw for almost 4 years (on and off) was possibly one of the loneliest, emotionally and sexually neglected people I've ever met. He had been in an unhappy, sexless marriage with zero affection from his wife for a long time, had two children, and worked away. When he was home he filled his time with the kids. His wife enjoyed spending his wages and going out getting d*unk all weekend while "the babysitter" was home. He had no relationship with her whatsoever and he had lived like that for a long time. His needs weren't being fulfilled at all and he was desperately unhappy. It took years before he even considered getting affection and sex elsewhere.

If he left, the short time he had with his kids due to working away would have been reduced further according to whatever custody / visiting arrangements would be agreed, and his kids are everything to him. Or he could stay, take as much precaution as possible to ensure his wife didn't find out what he was doing with me, and the rest of their lives carry on as normal.

As per my earlier post, not all people who cheat are heartless and just after a shag. We shouldn't assume they are.

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By *imsamkissCouple over a year ago

Loughton

We've been lovers for 4 years now and have a strong relationship outside of my family life.

My relationship with my wife ceased to be sexual sometime ago so it seemed natural to take a lover and everyone is happy. If we lived in an ideal world things would be different but we're here.

Seems odd for people on fabs to judge others.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Why bother meeting a guy who is cheating when I could take my pick of the thousands who aren't. He is not worth the hassle nor the ensuing drama"
i might want to have sex with them..simple..like any man of any couple here..itssex i dont want to have a relationship with them...a friendship yeah maybe..

sex is fun and according to couples/ singles, married or not, on here, its NSA..so i dont know why all of a sudden its this sacred act that denotes your moral status...every animal does it...its normal to want it, its normal to do it and its normal to be a social animal and interrelate with more than one member of the species at once...taming nature is impossible..it just leads to a whole lot of unnecessary misery..i hug all my friends..not one of my friends objects, if i hug one of the others..sex is only an extension of expression....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My status is on my profile. To me it's up to the people I de like to meet if they de like to meet me. Just because ur on a swinging site doesn't always have to be about jumping into bed

Mutual attraction is a big thing - failing that you get to chat to some great people on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why bother meeting a guy who is cheating when I could take my pick of the thousands who aren't. He is not worth the hassle nor the ensuing drama i might want to have sex with them..simple..like any man of any couple here..itssex i dont want to have a relationship with them...a friendship yeah maybe..

Agree absolutely, but i also agree with another persons right to not think this way and choose not to meet them.

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!

Oh dear we have never thought it was possible but you've now put a massive ? In to our lifes, we're not sure if we want to continue now

We have no need to cheat on each other but you are right yes it can still happen.

I don't know if I should say this but I was messaged by a guy whose name starts with an L (or an R), lives in Swindon and is 81 years old.

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

Honey bunch, you do whatever you like. But I won't meet a cheater

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

Agree absolutely, but i also agree with another persons right to not think this way and choose not to meet them. "
excellent, then we agree on something..do what you want, with who you want..its no one elses business xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Massive turn on for us to meet a cheater

Most people on here don't think about kids though, its not the first thing that comes into your head when your arranging a meet, their kids

No,but thing's escalate though don't they. One minute it may be a quick shag,then you meet them again and again. The next minute someone slips up wife/husband find's out,then the shit hits the pan...

You're right you can,unless of course that wife or husband comes a knocking on your door

In which case I would invite them in for a brew and a chat. I haven't done everything wrong, and they deserve an open talk with someone.

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

Honey bunch, you do whatever you like. But I won't meet a cheater

"
i shall i never needed your permission, in the first place..sweety pie...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real.

Leaving isn't always the right thing to do, or the best thing to do, or even possible to do.

As per my earlier post, not all people who cheat are heartless and just after a shag. We shouldn't assume they are. "

I'd happily bet that the wife was enjoying life else where as well.

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By *ussexsocialMan over a year ago

Billingshurst

When we first joined here , we met a guy Afew times he became a regular playmate , about a year later we start getting angry texts/emails from his other half ( he said he was single met in the evenings we had no idea he was was with someone ) threats to post pictures all over our Facebook , threats to send them to our bosses, post them around our kids school etc .....the guy had forgotten to delete emails and his wife found them, that's why we don't play with cheaters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!

Oh dear we have never thought it was possible but you've now put a massive ? In to our lifes, we're not sure if we want to continue now

We have no need to cheat on each other but you are right yes it can still happen.

I don't know if I should say this but I was messaged by a guy whose name starts with an L (or an R), lives in Swindon and is 81 years old.

Lol your point is?

Our profile is their to be read lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agree absolutely, but i also agree with another persons right to not think this way and choose not to meet them. excellent, then we agree on something..do what you want, with who you want..its no one elses business xx"

I do agree, but i also think people who don't agree get jumped on and preached to when they have the same right to think what they want too.

Although if it stopped thet woul be the end of the forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real.

Leaving isn't always the right thing to do, or the best thing to do, or even possible to do.

As per my earlier post, not all people who cheat are heartless and just after a shag. We shouldn't assume they are.

I'd happily bet that the wife was enjoying life else where as well.

Yep that was my thinking too

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"When we first joined here , we met a guy Afew times he became a regular playmate , about a year later we start getting angry texts/emails from his other half ( he said he was single met in the evenings we had no idea he was was with someone ) threats to post pictures all over our Facebook , threats to send them to our bosses, post them around our kids school etc .....the guy had forgotten to delete emails and his wife found them, that's why we don't play with cheaters "
if she was that vindictive a character, imagine what he was putting up with, im sure she deserved it...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When we first joined here , we met a guy Afew times he became a regular playmate , about a year later we start getting angry texts/emails from his other half ( he said he was single met in the evenings we had no idea he was was with someone ) threats to post pictures all over our Facebook , threats to send them to our bosses, post them around our kids school etc .....the guy had forgotten to delete emails and his wife found them, that's why we don't play with cheaters if she was that vindictive a character, imagine what he was putting up with, im sure she deserved it..."

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

Has happened twice. Once it was a tearful wife sending a text along the lines of "please do not destroy my life". I didn't even know that the b**tard was married!

The other took matters a bit further and was parked in my driveway when I returned home. I thought it was going to come to fisticuffs or at the least, handbags at dawn

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

makes me laugh..."

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!

Oh dear we have never thought it was possible but you've now put a massive ? In to our lifes, we're not sure if we want to continue now

We have no need to cheat on each other but you are right yes it can still happen.

I don't know if I should say this but I was messaged by a guy whose name starts with an L (or an R), lives in Swindon and is 81 years old.

Lol your point is?

Our profile is their to be read lol"

Just thought I'd mention [ and hopefully stir some trouble

]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why bother meeting a guy who is cheating when I could take my pick of the thousands who aren't. He is not worth the hassle nor the ensuing drama"

Pick of thousands ?! Blimey what other site are you on....

I've discovered over the years there are not that many men / women of a certain age who meet my criteria looks / personality wise who don't have some kind of attachment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When we first joined here , we met a guy Afew times he became a regular playmate , about a year later we start getting angry texts/emails from his other half ( he said he was single met in the evenings we had no idea he was was with someone ) threats to post pictures all over our Facebook , threats to send them to our bosses, post them around our kids school etc .....the guy had forgotten to delete emails and his wife found them, that's why we don't play with cheaters if she was that vindictive a character, imagine what he was putting up with, im sure she deserved it..."
Hell hath no fury

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/16 09:15:49]

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"Why bother meeting a guy who is cheating when I could take my pick of the thousands who aren't. He is not worth the hassle nor the ensuing drama

Pick of thousands ?! Blimey what other site are you on....

I've discovered over the years there are not that many men / women of a certain age who meet my criteria looks / personality wise who don't have some kind of attachment.

Pick of thousands does not mean sleep with all of them. Just means that the potential exists

You should try to be choosy. With my criteria, there are about a dozen who might fit the bill; but I still won't meet a cheater just because he happens to meet my other requirements. I would hate getting my car keyed

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

makes me laugh...

I wouldn't tell anyone they shouldn't sleep with someone who's married and cheating what someone else does has nothing to do with me,I just don't understand how some people can be openly gloating about doing it and think it's hilarious that they do that for kicks when there could be so much at stake and hurt so many people,most of all their cildren! You say most people lie,I've never lied to the extent that that lie may temporarily destroy someone's life. All I know is how having a husband who had an affair which was just sex devastated mine and my children's life for a while and the effects don't vanish they are still there in my children to one degree or another and myself."
people are people, takes all sorts. people effect people all the time, thats life. im not a deliberate pain maker i am just an active member of life. shit happens to everyone and experiences are for your soul to evolve, life and nature isnt all happy bunnies and flowers' you wont ever stop foxes fromeating bunny rabbits..it is the way it is and emotional pain is usually down to expectations...because you hinged them on someone or something else. i hope you live your life for you now and do what you want and im sure your kids will live their lives and find and do what they want also..controlling people isnt something we can do, so why both assuming we can?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have the same situation

I hate to burst your bubble but swinging couples can still cheat, seen the fallout on here & been messaged on numerous times asking to meet.

hopefully this won't apply to you!

Oh dear we have never thought it was possible but you've now put a massive ? In to our lifes, we're not sure if we want to continue now

We have no need to cheat on each other but you are right yes it can still happen.

I don't know if I should say this but I was messaged by a guy whose name starts with an L (or an R), lives in Swindon and is 81 years old.

Lol your point is?

Our profile is their to be read lol

Just thought I'd mention [ and hopefully stir some trouble

Ha ha ha

What trouble is there to stir?

J, I'd love to meet lol

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"no one mentions how many families are kept together, sometimes for years because of someone getting what they cant get from home, elsewhere..

THAT is also why couples on the swinging scene do it..'it adds to their relationship'you are the same as them otherwise you wouldnt be swinging...

that it deepens your 'love' for each other by being poly...you don't have exclusive rights to this...

makes me laugh...

My lies don't expose anyone to a life changing situation without their knowledge.

The woman the man you had was so bad you understood why he cheated on her, but didn't he leave her. Ya. Get real.

Leaving isn't always the right thing to do, or the best thing to do, or even possible to do.

As per my earlier post, not all people who cheat are heartless and just after a shag. We shouldn't assume they are. "

Wonder what her version was...

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"When we first joined here , we met a guy Afew times he became a regular playmate , about a year later we start getting angry texts/emails from his other half ( he said he was single met in the evenings we had no idea he was was with someone ) threats to post pictures all over our Facebook , threats to send them to our bosses, post them around our kids school etc .....the guy had forgotten to delete emails and his wife found them, that's why we don't play with cheaters if she was that vindictive a character, imagine what he was putting up with, im sure she deserved it...Hell hath no fury

"
how sad she thinks either he or i would be so important to her own emotional well being..she should look at her own character before trying to assassinate mine..

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

makes me laugh..."

I have no desire to control anyone. People can justify a million time's the reason's they have sex with someone who's cheating I'll still never understand it...The whole thing saddens me.

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By *ap AdgeMan over a year ago

Wirral

"Personally I would not arrange a meet with a cheat.

And if the innocent party does find out...the fallout is horrendous. I've known a friend who was "the other woman" and having an angry wife phone up or even turn up on the doorstep is no fun.

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