FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why women don't reply...
Why women don't reply...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't need to give a reason why you don't reply, it's your decision to make... Men who get worked up and abusive over not receiving a reply just need to grow a pair and take this for what it is.... Not to mention most attractive women simply just can't cope with the numbers...
Having said that its nice to get one..even if we don't connect... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,"
If there isn't an attachment (I ask for face pics in first messages) I will delete without reading. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
Its all fair enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,
If there isn't an attachment (I ask for face pics in first messages) I will delete without reading."
What if they have face pics visible on their profile? |
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
Do most guys read profiles though? I read yours the other day and thought perfect, not too far away, profile reads great, pic looks lovely, then saw your age limit, it broke my heart but i didn't message because i am out of your age range!
Its not hard to read and understand what others are looking for and if you don't fit don't message x |
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,"
This is one of my fun fab things to do.i click on the profile first before reading a message.if they have potential then I'll read it.if they don't the message gets deleted without reading.i'm too much of a cunt to care about most people feelings so don't feel the slightest bit of guilt when I do this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,
If there isn't an attachment (I ask for face pics in first messages) I will delete without reading.
What if they have face pics visible on their profile?"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile."
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth...
Do most guys read profiles though? I read yours the other day and thought perfect, not too far away, profile reads great, pic looks lovely, then saw your age limit, it broke my heart but i didn't message because i am out of your age range!
Its not hard to read and understand what others are looking for and if you don't fit don't message x"
I have an age range but it's not set in stone so I don't have filters stopping men outside that range from texting me. I'd be happy to get a message from someone outside my age range as long as they send or have face pics for me to see. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)"
If guys don't have the decency to read my profile, why should I look at theirs? |
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I do think that men need to understand what sites like Fab are like for the ladies.
What many guys do not understand is that yes, we do outnumber the women five or even ten-to-one. Ladies can be inundated with messages every day, and often nothing stands out because 80% of those messages are all "Hi, how are you?".
Fab is effectively ladies choice. We guys do have to put in more effort. Often a guy will write to 20 or 30 ladies with no luck before he gets a decent conversation going. This can be frustrating, but if you further understand that those 30 ladies get 30 messages every day from hopeful guys....you see how frustrating it is for the women too.
Often, when a lady does politely decline, guys will respond by asking why, or trying to persuade them differently.
And yes, so many messages that ladies receive are from guys who probably would not be contacting them if they'd read the profile. My wife is on here, as are several female friends and the number of men who write without reading the profile is really high. For example, my wife's profile makes it clear that she will not even think about meeting someone who is cheating on a partner...and yet she gets loads of guys who are cheating who are genuinely unaware of this trying to entice her. Because they have not bothered to read her profile. Other friends are looking for something fairly specific and men who are miles away from their preferences write, because they haven't read the profile. What's the point in a guy who wants 5 regular playmates contacting someone who is specifically looking for a cuckold, for example?
So...guys...read profiles. Compose a message which says something nice about the lady's profile. Perhaps you have common interests (in or out of bed), you like one of her photos specifically. Anything to show you've read her profile. Do not cut and paste, most people can detect this several miles off...though having a standard introduction is fine. Talk about what you can do for the lady, what you have to offer....not just what you want from her. Remember women are individuals, and remember that if someone responds with a "no thanks" that should be respected.
It's not rocket science....not that rocket science is especially difficult...just ballistics... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,"
Does not actually mean they are ONLINE!! I don't log out so it says I'm online 24/7 however I'm not unfortunately 
Saying ONLIBE just st means they are logged in might of forgot to log out or like myself just stays pemenantly logged in saves time logging out in etc!!! VOILA |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I do think that men need to understand what sites like Fab are like for the ladies.
What many guys do not understand is that yes, we do outnumber the women five or even ten-to-one. Ladies can be inundated with messages every day, and often nothing stands out because 80% of those messages are all "Hi, how are you?".
Fab is effectively ladies choice. We guys do have to put in more effort. Often a guy will write to 20 or 30 ladies with no luck before he gets a decent conversation going. This can be frustrating, but if you further understand that those 30 ladies get 30 messages every day from hopeful guys....you see how frustrating it is for the women too.
Often, when a lady does politely decline, guys will respond by asking why, or trying to persuade them differently.
And yes, so many messages that ladies receive are from guys who probably would not be contacting them if they'd read the profile. My wife is on here, as are several female friends and the number of men who write without reading the profile is really high. For example, my wife's profile makes it clear that she will not even think about meeting someone who is cheating on a partner...and yet she gets loads of guys who are cheating who are genuinely unaware of this trying to entice her. Because they have not bothered to read her profile. Other friends are looking for something fairly specific and men who are miles away from their preferences write, because they haven't read the profile. What's the point in a guy who wants 5 regular playmates contacting someone who is specifically looking for a cuckold, for example?
So...guys...read profiles. Compose a message which says something nice about the lady's profile. Perhaps you have common interests (in or out of bed), you like one of her photos specifically. Anything to show you've read her profile. Do not cut and paste, most people can detect this several miles off...though having a standard introduction is fine. Talk about what you can do for the lady, what you have to offer....not just what you want from her. Remember women are individuals, and remember that if someone responds with a "no thanks" that should be respected.
It's not rocket science....not that rocket science is especially difficult...just ballistics..."
I agree
And/or
They could block guys and do all of the above themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are inactive for five minutes you show as "online 5 minutes ago".
I never log out on my phone but show as offline often unless I actively look at the site."
Mine constantly just says online,,, so say at 3am I've been asleep for say 5 hours would it say on here active 5 mins ago? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)
If guys don't have the decency to read my profile, why should I look at theirs?"
I never mentioned anything about not reading it. They may read that first paragraph and think "she can see my face on my profile pic so no need to attach a face pic with the message." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
They could block guys and do all of the above themselves "
Many don't do that though, probably because they can't be arsed and/or it massively fuels their ego getting hundreds of messages and just being able to go "hmmm, that one" and deleting all the other messages. It would make for quite an interesting site though if men could only speak once spoken to... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)
If guys don't have the decency to read my profile, why should I look at theirs?
I never mentioned anything about not reading it. They may read that first paragraph and think "she can see my face on my profile pic so no need to attach a face pic with the message.""
I ask them to attach it. So if they attach it anyway, I'll know they've read it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)
If guys don't have the decency to read my profile, why should I look at theirs?
I never mentioned anything about not reading it. They may read that first paragraph and think "she can see my face on my profile pic so no need to attach a face pic with the message."
I ask them to attach it. So if they attach it anyway, I'll know they've read it"
They might just read that first line and attach it, but chin the rest of the reading off... |
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we used to reply to all when we first joined,we don't reply anymore if we are not interested, sometimes its obvious they have not read the profile others just don't deserve a reply, sometimes its just a case of having too many messages or we are already communicating and arranging a meet so don't want to get involved with too many potential meets and mostly because we are too busy to play. I must admit we do feel guilty sometimes but then again....who gives a fuck....its a sex site.....Happy swinging ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)
If guys don't have the decency to read my profile, why should I look at theirs?
I never mentioned anything about not reading it. They may read that first paragraph and think "she can see my face on my profile pic so no need to attach a face pic with the message."
I ask them to attach it. So if they attach it anyway, I'll know they've read it"
You always so argumentative?! If they've not read the rest, it will soon become clear. |
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,
This is one of my fun fab things to do.i click on the profile first before reading a message.if they have potential then I'll read it.if they don't the message gets deleted without reading.i'm too much of a cunt to care about most people feelings so don't feel the slightest bit of guilt when I do this."
I don't have an issue with that. If someone decides they're not interested it doesn't really matter to me whether they arrived at that decision from my profile or from a message. The thing I find frustrating is when messages are reset to unread and I have an equal lack of guilt in sending another after a reasonable amount of time in that situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ditto to OP, on my last profile I'd always respond, and honestly the number of abusive replies back was very high. This time around, if I receive what I'd call a "proper" message then I absolutely read the profile, read the message, and reply appropriately. I have very few expectations on my profile, but still guys message who do not fit that (I like regular FWBs so those who can't accomodate are a straight off "no" as I don't want it all to be on me) and generally won't get a reply. My personal _iew, if you can't bothered to read the profile, why should ladies be bothered to drop their knickers for you? |
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Agree with much of what you have said OP.
For me, I've asked people to send me a face pic and tell me about themselves. If they don't, I'll probably delete them.
If I don't find them physically attractive, ditto.
If it's a hi sexy, how u doin/ how r u? Delete
Telling me what they'd like to do to me.
Saying they're in the area, do I fancy meeting now? No
Poor spelling and grammar. Unlikely.
They haven't read my profile and it's a generic message they've probably sent to every woman in their area.
Those are my reasons!
However I DO reply if I find someone attractive, intelligent and looks like we are looking for similar things... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always try to reply befause it's just good manners but reasons why I don't:
1) Monosyllabic or txtspk. A 'hi' or 'u orite' shows you haven't put the effort in - so I don't bother putting the effort in to reply either.
2) I normally get around 24 emails an hour. I have a job, a household, a wonderful relationship, a family, hobbies and a social life. With the very best will in the world, without a PA I cannt answer them all. I'm sorry. Try again. Honestly. Unless you sent something like number one in which case please see above.
3) Following on from this, 24 emails an hour equates to filling my inbox every couple of hours. We were having a great conversation, getting ok really well, then you don't hear from me. Did you say something wrong? Well, I'll tell you if you do. Otherwise, assume my meeting overran and your email dropped off the end of my inbox and send me another one. Before I forget who you are. It happens.
See? We're not all heartless bitches that don't give a flying fuckola that you put yourself out there. We're just trying to keep our heads above water  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
3) Following on from this, 24 emails an hour equates to filling my inbox every couple of hours. We were having a great conversation, getting ok really well, then you don't hear from me. Did you say something wrong? Well, I'll tell you if you do. Otherwise, assume my meeting overran and your email dropped off the end of my inbox and send me another one. Before I forget who you are. It happens.
"
Does this happen? I've had that situation where it seemed like it was going well then all of a sudden nothing. I had put it down to them not actually being interested but too polite to say anything. Or if it's a couple that the one I was speaking to is interested but then they show me to their other half and they say no... |
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"If you are inactive for five minutes you show as "online 5 minutes ago".
I never log out on my phone but show as offline often unless I actively look at the site.
Mine constantly just says online,,, so say at 3am I've been asleep for say 5 hours would it say on here active 5 mins ago? "
It should show you as "last online 5 hours ago".
Very strange if it does otherwise. The way Fab works, unless you actually do something such as check your inbox, or click one of the functions...the system registers you as offline after 5 minutes.
As I said, I never log out on my phone though I do on my PC. But I've tested it with my wife's account...if I am inactive but logged in, it counts from 5 minutes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
3) Following on from this, 24 emails an hour equates to filling my inbox every couple of hours. We were having a great conversation, getting ok really well, then you don't hear from me. Did you say something wrong? Well, I'll tell you if you do. Otherwise, assume my meeting overran and your email dropped off the end of my inbox and send me another one. Before I forget who you are. It happens.
Does this happen? I've had that situation where it seemed like it was going well then all of a sudden nothing. I had put it down to them not actually being interested but too polite to say anything. Or if it's a couple that the one I was speaking to is interested but then they show me to their other half and they say no..."
Yes! This happens. It might seem harsh, but honestly. Sometimes the only way to get on top of an inbox is to bulk delete everything in it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine too more or less constantly says online as I don't log out. I get so much jip for it.
Also I contemplated deleting recently as im getting extra tired with writing a polite 'no thankyou' message and getting abuse back. Xx |
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We get loads of messages that say nothing more than 'alright' or 'wanna meet now' or of course 'what are you after' - read the profile pal, its all in there!
We won't ever reply to those, if you can't make the effort, why should we?
That said, if a guy has made an effort with his message we will always reply, even if its a 'no thanks but good luck'
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
3) Following on from this, 24 emails an hour equates to filling my inbox every couple of hours. We were having a great conversation, getting ok really well, then you don't hear from me. Did you say something wrong? Well, I'll tell you if you do. Otherwise, assume my meeting overran and your email dropped off the end of my inbox and send me another one. Before I forget who you are. It happens.
Does this happen? I've had that situation where it seemed like it was going well then all of a sudden nothing. I had put it down to them not actually being interested but too polite to say anything. Or if it's a couple that the one I was speaking to is interested but then they show me to their other half and they say no...
Yes! This happens. It might seem harsh, but honestly. Sometimes the only way to get on top of an inbox is to bulk delete everything in it! "
I wonder how many potential meets (not just for me, but the whole of Fab) have never happened because of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also I did some maths on my calculator.
Between kids, work, 'real dates', mates and the free days I do get compared to the average amount of messages i recieve a day, if I was to meet everyone that's asked just once on a queue system it'd take me about 2-3 years  |
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"If you are inactive for five minutes you show as "online 5 minutes ago".
I never log out on my phone but show as offline often unless I actively look at the site.
Mine constantly just says online,,, so say at 3am I've been asleep for say 5 hours would it say on here active 5 mins ago? "
Not your currently inactive on your profile so are showing as offline and as I'm writing this that was as of 59mins ago |
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
There ought to be a "Thanks but no thanks" button - so you just click that and be done with it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't go hunting. If it isn't attached, they haven't read my profile.
Your choice I suppose. It probably saves a lot of wear and tear on your mouse or touchscreen. As well as your finger. How about if their profile pic is a clear face pic? (Ie you would see it before you had to open the message or do anything)"
We state on our profile that we require a face pic to guarantee reply. We don't care if that face pic is attached to message or is in public pics. As long as we know what they look like before we decide to take things further. But we will never ask for face pics. In that situation it's easier to go on to the next. |
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"
There ought to be a "Thanks but no thanks" button - so you just click that and be done with it...
Then I bet people would be bitching that it's too impersonal to reply that way
"
That would be sooo useful ( as long as it had an automatic block with it! ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
There ought to be a "Thanks but no thanks" button - so you just click that and be done with it...
Then I bet people would be bitching that it's too impersonal to reply that way
That would be sooo useful ( as long as it had an automatic block with it! )"
I said this the other day. You'd still get a reply calling you a silly bitch or something along the lines |
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"
There ought to be a "Thanks but no thanks" button - so you just click that and be done with it...
Then I bet people would be bitching that it's too impersonal to reply that way
That would be sooo useful ( as long as it had an automatic block with it! )"
It's the only way it would likely work |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
As if to prove a point, I just received a message that literally just said 'I'm a good fuck'. There were no photos, veris or info on the profile, so I deleted it. Obviously. Although, really, I shouldn't have bothered even looking at the profile. 30 seconds later, same person messages me, 'fuck you.' Charmed. Please excuse me whilst I drop my knickers and rush to his bed... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As if to prove a point, I just received a message that literally just said 'I'm a good fuck'. There were no photos, veris or info on the profile, so I deleted it. Obviously. Although, really, I shouldn't have bothered even looking at the profile. 30 seconds later, same person messages me, 'fuck you.' Charmed. Please excuse me whilst I drop my knickers and rush to his bed..."
Then block them and report them for abuse to the site admins. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As if to prove a point, I just received a message that literally just said 'I'm a good fuck'. There were no photos, veris or info on the profile, so I deleted it. Obviously. Although, really, I shouldn't have bothered even looking at the profile. 30 seconds later, same person messages me, 'fuck you.' Charmed. Please excuse me whilst I drop my knickers and rush to his bed...
Then block them and report them for abuse to the site admins. "
Of course I've blocked him. The point is, the lack of decorum, effort and etiquette shown and guys still wonder why they don't get responses... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
even the decent messages to me don't get a reply, if i'm not interested i don't interact. simple as that.
i noticed guys i did polite reject were messaging me again acting like we'd had a conversation, i'd look at their oage and see i had replied and wonder why i'd talked to someone i didn't fancy. eentually it clicked that all i'd done was let them know i wasn't interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We reply (and wifey I'm hers) if they have read the profile, even if a 'sorry but...' message.
We wont reply if they obviously haven't read the profiles, and/or they sent simple messages saying 'hello' or 'come to mine'.
Also if the message presumes it is a women's profile and suggests that I am hot.... I will reply that I am not into men.....the genuine ones apologise and start a fresh.
Some messages we get are great, others ridiculous and some pure offensive.
Example. Fancy telling me that he would love to give 'me' the best sex ever etc...I reply politely that wife is at work and I am not into men....reply back is that I am not a man and my wife had ruined her life marrying me and hopes me and kids die of disease. That spoilt his chances of a meet. Haha.
A thanks but no thanks button with block inbuilt would be great. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
There is little point in sending a well crafted message that is written after studying the recipient's profile because most are not even read and the recipients don't look at my profile either despite being on line at some stage. (I know site supporters can suppress this) Truth is the ladies get far to many messages to even read them let alone answer them. Fortunately I have some good friends with whom to meet regularly so I am not that bothered. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is little point in sending a well crafted message that is written after studying the recipient's profile because most are not even read and the recipients don't look at my profile either despite being on line at some stage. (I know site supporters can suppress this) Truth is the ladies get far to many messages to even read them let alone answer them. Fortunately I have some good friends with whom to meet regularly so I am not that bothered. "
imo this is kind of true, about the not writing a well crafted message.
i think men should be more specific about what they want on their profile so that we can look at it and see for ourslves if we think we'll be compatible. and that way you don't need to message every single person with your wants and what you have to offer and can instead concentrate more on breaking the ice with something more sociable than a sexual message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its funny as my profile states I'm currently only looking to meet women at the moment and I still receive between 50-500 messages per day from men with the majority of them 'I want to....'
As you can imagine I bulk delete as they havent read my profile and one guy told me he doesn't read them as he 'just wants a fuck not a date' What a charmer!!  |
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"Its funny as my profile states I'm currently only looking to meet women at the moment and I still receive between 50-500 messages per day from men with the majority of them 'I want to....'
As you can imagine I bulk delete as they havent read my profile and one guy told me he doesn't read them as he 'just wants a fuck not a date' What a charmer!! "
So block men from messaging you via your message filter, problem solved |
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"Ditto to OP, on my last profile I'd always respond, and honestly the number of abusive replies back was very high. This time around, if I receive what I'd call a "proper" message then I absolutely read the profile, read the message, and reply appropriately. I have very few expectations on my profile, but still guys message who do not fit that (I like regular FWBs so those who can't accomodate are a straight off "no" as I don't want it all to be on me) and generally won't get a reply. My personal _iew, if you can't bothered to read the profile, why should ladies be bothered to drop their knickers for you?"
Agree with this 100% We started out with the best intentions and replied politely to everyone. Big mistake, the amount of people that sent really nasty aggressive responses (to the polite decline from us) was unbelievable.
The other thing I (Mrs) finds really unattractive is when a guy puts a status update bitching about how everyone is fake on here, and why won't anyone give them a chance, or that they're going to delete their account because we are all time wasters.
Any moaning like that (whether justified or not) is an instant turn off.
Oh, and when we tell people we aren't interested, it's irritating when they then try to pressure you. I mean seriously, who is going to use this site to allow someone to effectively bully them into bed?!
Just my thoughts on the matter, as I've noticed a lot more aggression lately.
(We've been memebers on and off for about 6 years) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its funny as my profile states I'm currently only looking to meet women at the moment and I still receive between 50-500 messages per day from men with the majority of them 'I want to....'
As you can imagine I bulk delete as they havent read my profile and one guy told me he doesn't read them as he 'just wants a fuck not a date' What a charmer!!
So block men from messaging you via your message filter, problem solved "
I still like to chat to people and make new friends and dont tarnish all single guys with the same brush. Yes I could use filters but then I wouldnt have the friends I chat to who have sent me messages. Its not about liking the attention its about people taking the time to read the profile and sending appropriate messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,
Does not actually mean they are ONLINE!! I don't log out so it says I'm online 24/7 however I'm not unfortunately
Saying ONLIBE just st means they are logged in might of forgot to log out or like myself just stays pemenantly logged in saves time logging out in etc!!! VOILA "
Your profile says you were last online 27 minutes ago |
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"As if to prove a point, I just received a message that literally just said 'I'm a good fuck'. There were no photos, veris or info on the profile, so I deleted it. Obviously. Although, really, I shouldn't have bothered even looking at the profile. 30 seconds later, same person messages me, 'fuck you.' Charmed. Please excuse me whilst I drop my knickers and rush to his bed...
Then block them and report them for abuse to the site admins.
Of course I've blocked him. The point is, the lack of decorum, effort and etiquette shown and guys still wonder why they don't get responses..."
The fact that because you're on this site you're sate around waiting for an offer - within choice of who! It's infuriating!!!! |
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By *ynchedWoman
over a year ago
Dunstable |
"Its funny as my profile states I'm currently only looking to meet women at the moment and I still receive between 50-500 messages per day from men with the majority of them 'I want to....'
As you can imagine I bulk delete as they havent read my profile and one guy told me he doesn't read them as he 'just wants a fuck not a date' What a charmer!!
So block men from messaging you via your message filter, problem solved
I still like to chat to people and make new friends and dont tarnish all single guys with the same brush. Yes I could use filters but then I wouldnt have the friends I chat to who have sent me messages. Its not about liking the attention its about people taking the time to read the profile and sending appropriate messages "
For those that don't know about how the filters work:
Filters will block anyone new of that gender contacting you but not ones you have already messaged, so you friends are safe to chat with you even with filters on.
Filters will also show as meeting preferences in your profile....
The way to stop messages from people you've already messaged is to use the block button
Hope this is useful to someone.... |
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
That told us
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly it's cos we're all stuck up fat slags with faces only a mother could love and we thrive on the superiority and sense of power that comes with telling an Adonis to fuck right off before blocking him and using our private notes to record the flaw he had of a lone hair on his right nipple and countdown on the tv in the background of his profile pic
"Countdown this ya hairy nippled freak" m\/n |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to reply to all my messages. Problem is, it makes my inbox even fuller so occasionally I have to do a mass delete or sometimes I get so many messages, that they drop off the page and I lose track of who I've messaged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
I,m with you on most of the above, except I don't reply to all messages, I only reply to local people now, and I bulk delete unwanted messages. If replying saying too far away, get replies why? Or I can come to you, I don't host.
XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,"
A few moments?
That's very generous!
I might not read a message within a few moments because I haven't the time at that moment for a long conversation. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"So, I'm sorry in advance if this gets backs up or people say it wasn't necessary. I've seen a lot of statuses and got some messages myself complaining about women not replying to messages. Just thought I'd give my own reasons for it and see what people thought...
1. Women are hugely outnumbered for a start, so I guess sometimes men have to put in more effort and send more messages overall. Just a guess there, not sure if that's the rule.
2. I personally do always try to respond, even if it's just a polite thanks but no thanks. Sometimes the response to this is very polite and mature. Other times it's just abuse like 'get over yourself' and 'I'd only fuck toy with the lights off anyway.' So sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it. Also, it's a sex site. I actually don't feel that bad for not replying. If it was a dating site and you'd taken a huge risk by sending a first message, I would never not reply. But if all you're missing out on is sex, I really don't care if you're a bit miffed about it! But manners cost nothing, so if you're message to me is polite, I'll try and return that favour.
3. You haven't read my profile. That simple.
Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth... "
I agree to a point about number 1.. ladies may be a minority... in terms of effort I'd disagree, unless the lady or couple were willing to accept Anyone.. all demographics on here have to put in effort, we're all trying to inform and attract, it's a two way street this attraction thing.some guys might have a scatter gun approach to messaging it's likely those are the ones that are putting out statuses bemoaning things, , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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States quite clearly on my profile - don't expect a reply.
If I replied to all the messages I received I'd be at it all day & that's not what I am here for.
I do appreciate many men must get pissed off with no replies likewise women do with the amount of one liners they receive.
It's part of Fabs so there's no real point moaning about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why they don't reply?
because most of them thought that they were princesses , but they really are lazy and heal their complexes.
"
What do you mean thought.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,
This is one of my fun fab things to do.i click on the profile first before reading a message.if they have potential then I'll read it.if they don't the message gets deleted without reading.i'm too much of a cunt to care about most people feelings so don't feel the slightest bit of guilt when I do this."
I also do the same however it has on occasions caused me problems where I get another abussive/ threatening message from the same user |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading this thread I'm yet again increasingly shocked as to the crap single women get. As a couple we occasional get a disrespectful message, but fortunately we haven't had to put up with what others seem to to have to deal with. I said in another thread a few days ago that I don't think I could do this if I were a single woman, even though I would want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reading this thread I'm yet again increasingly shocked as to the crap single women get. As a couple we occasional get a disrespectful message, but fortunately we haven't had to put up with what others seem to to have to deal with. I said in another thread a few days ago that I don't think I could do this if I were a single woman, even though I would want to. "
Ita mostly because they don't use the tools available and then like to whinge. Not all single women get crap. I get the occasional shit message but they are really easy to delete and block if necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As if to prove a point, I just received a message that literally just said 'I'm a good fuck'. There were no photos, veris or info on the profile, so I deleted it. Obviously. Although, really, I shouldn't have bothered even looking at the profile. 30 seconds later, same person messages me, 'fuck you.' Charmed. Please excuse me whilst I drop my knickers and rush to his bed...
Then block them and report them for abuse to the site admins.
Of course I've blocked him. The point is, the lack of decorum, effort and etiquette shown and guys still wonder why they don't get responses...
The fact that because you're on this site you're sate around waiting for an offer - within choice of who! It's infuriating!!!!"
What...? |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Simple solution..
Block those folk (of whatever gender) from messaging you, you can then go searching for those folke that interest you, you can / could message them ..be proactive rather than reactive.
Save a whole load of angst. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Simple solution..
Block those folk (of whatever gender) from messaging you, you can then go searching for those folke that interest you, you can / could message them ..be proactive rather than reactive.
Save a whole load of angst. "
This most was to give men who complain about women who don't reply a heads up as to why it might be. If this leads to them changing their tactics or attitudes, then so be it.
I, as a woman on here, see absolutely no need to change my own behaviour, or settings. Men will just have to accept they will be deleted and/or blocked if they can't be bothered to put in an ounce of effort. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Simple solution..
Block those folk (of whatever gender) from messaging you, you can then go searching for those folke that interest you, you can / could message them ..be proactive rather than reactive.
Save a whole load of angst.
This most was to give men who complain about women who don't reply a heads up as to why it might be. If this leads to them changing their tactics or attitudes, then so be it.
I, as a woman on here, see absolutely no need to change my own behaviour, or settings. Men will just have to accept they will be deleted and/or blocked if they can't be bothered to put in an ounce of effort."
Given the number of threads about not replying I cannot imagine this thread will change folk..
If that works for you fantastic, being a lady you may just have to accept you may receive messages from folk who have put in little effort, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" We mesage people even if just to compliment them, Some cannot even be bothered to read them so we give them a few moments then delete them, its not a case of they are not online becasue usualy it says so on there profile, ON LINE, This would answer a thread about , why do people delete message before they are read,"
We have had abuse before as we haven't always replied to messages straight away.
What some men don't grasp, (but you as a couple perhaps should), is that there are two of us, just because it says online doesn't mean we are both online, and perhaps the one who is wants to wait for the other to be there to answer or read certain messages.
We also have people sending face pics that are deleted after opening the message. Absolutely no use if only one of us is online to see them, we both like to know who we're meeting  |
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