FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Soft Swing Only?
Soft Swing Only?
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Okay I'm always under the impression that when we mention that we're only looking for soft swing we get judged as half-hearters or time-wasters.
We always mention it up-front and have it on our profile tag-line lol, but I was curious this morning, is that actually how we're perceived by the wider community?
I think it's incredibly arousing to be teasing, playing and fucking with other people in the room doing the same, being able to see each other and hear each other.
Mostly though its about boundaries, you can't ignore the turn-on, but if one of you isn't comfortable with going further but finds this massively arousing, then what better way to explore.
I should note that we do play with single females too, which gives J the chance to do what she loves - playing voyeur... The climax for all of us is usually mind-blowing.
Ah-hum, got lost in that thought for a moment, so anyway, the question - do the wider community think of us as lower down the play-chain as a result? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not at all its how we started out on this profile as we werent sure how we would feel about seeing each other with others - have to say didnt last long and full swapped with a lady quite quickly and decided to fullswap with a couple - took a while to find right 4sum and when it happened it wasnt planned but then and now wont just swap for the sake of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally not at all. When me and G were on here before we were only a soft swap couple and we were met with a few reactions of what's the point in that etc but it's whatever you feel comfortable with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We play soft swing only quite often.....love it! It doesn't matter what others think. As long as you tell people what to expect beforehand. We get plenty of play offers..... especially at clubs because we are good at reading and getting them all going!  |
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Never explain or justify your preferences, if anyone doesn't like the way you play it means equally that you don't like the way they play.
Of course some people rank us all in order of what they think are "proper swingers" but I think they need to get themselves a life  |
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Thanks all
I wouldn't say it bothers us at all what people think, but I do worry sometimes that we would be classed as time wasters if we hit the clubs etc.
Its just where we are right now and where we love being, I was just curious |
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Personally, we're perfectly fine with soft play if that's what people are comfortable with. For us, the motivations behind swinging is to enjoy some sexy fun, doing things we can't do by ourselves, but most importantly having a laugh. As long as everyone is having a good time then we're happy.
Although, there are people on here (single blokes mainly) who think that when the bloke is allowed to fuck other women, but the women won't fuck other blokes, that it's because the man is worried about not being as good as the new chap.
Cal |
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" Thanks all
I wouldn't say it bothers us at all what people think, but I do worry sometimes that we would be classed as time wasters if we hit the clubs etc.
Its just where we are right now and where we love being, I was just curious "
Just be clear before you begin |
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Heh yeah we've had this accusation... I tend to be a lot more forward than J, our boundaries and comfort zones are based mostly on J's preferences.
It used to surprise me how many people didn't believe that lol!
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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"Heh yeah we've had this accusation... I tend to be a lot more forward than J, our boundaries and comfort zones are based mostly on J's preferences.
It used to surprise me how many people didn't believe that lol!
"
It's funny we are the opposite............I the female get to go with men (my hubby is turned on by it) and we are moving over to full swap (took an age an half to work through it but it's what we both want and am getting turned on by now) BUT no one has ever accused us of double standards because I am the one that gets to go with men.............
There are so many soft swing couples in clubs there really are, we were and still are if that's what other couple want just be clear form the beginning and you can't go wrong. Any thing that we feel in the minority of in any angle of life can be hard, it's an indirect (not knowingly) peer pressure, stand firm!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are soft swap only with couples, bring just a woman into it and it's different. But I don't wanna fuck another guy it's just my preference and hubby is fine with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heh yeah we've had this accusation... I tend to be a lot more forward than J, our boundaries and comfort zones are based mostly on J's preferences.
It used to surprise me how many people didn't believe that lol!
It's funny we are the opposite............I the female get to go with men (my hubby is turned on by it) and we are moving over to full swap (took an age an half to work through it but it's what we both want and am getting turned on by now) BUT no one has ever accused us of double standards because I am the one that gets to go with men.............
There are so many soft swing couples in clubs there really are, we were and still are if that's what other couple want just be clear form the beginning and you can't go wrong. Any thing that we feel in the minority of in any angle of life can be hard, it's an indirect (not knowingly) peer pressure, stand firm!!!
"
part of what just typed is music to my ears missy xxxxxx  |
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" Thanks all
I wouldn't say it bothers us at all what people think, but I do worry sometimes that we would be classed as time wasters if we hit the clubs etc.
Its just where we are right now and where we love being, I was just curious
Just be clear before you begin "
Your rules are for you to decide but definitely be clear before you begin. I once played with a couple but was left high and dry after they went off to fuck once they were suitably turned on. Not a great feeling! I respect people's choice to play soft only but my choice is not to play with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all about the fun ?
Loads just want soft swing which is fine as most have said if boundaries are set and everyone is happy before hand !
I can imagine how some don't like the soft swing side of things but it's not for them to dictate to you as long as the people who join you are happy and you all have smiles after ? What's the problem ?? |
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We both met as singles on fab and from that moment onwards became a couple and very much in love..... We are now only here for female female fun fet play and voyeurism oh and the social side to the scene we don't even play with the opposite sex just more the girls while the guys watch or play with their respective partners..... We attend clubs regularly too and it has always worked for us.... It's stated on our profile we state it when we chat in clubs and everyone has respected this and it's been great.... As long as people know from the start you will have a fantastic time even in the clubs..... Xx |
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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"Heh yeah we've had this accusation... I tend to be a lot more forward than J, our boundaries and comfort zones are based mostly on J's preferences.
It used to surprise me how many people didn't believe that lol!
It's funny we are the opposite............I the female get to go with men (my hubby is turned on by it) and we are moving over to full swap (took an age an half to work through it but it's what we both want and am getting turned on by now) BUT no one has ever accused us of double standards because I am the one that gets to go with men.............
There are so many soft swing couples in clubs there really are, we were and still are if that's what other couple want just be clear form the beginning and you can't go wrong. Any thing that we feel in the minority of in any angle of life can be hard, it's an indirect (not knowingly) peer pressure, stand firm!!!
part of what just typed is music to my ears missy xxxxxx "
Ha ha!
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Just read the messages posted here and as far as we can see there is not an absolute definition of soft swing (soft swap). We are confused as everyone seems to have their own version.
Here is our version
We enjoy playing with others, singles, couples, bi or straight and this can involve everything up to full penetration but everything must be done within full sight and sound of the other. We do this for three reasons.
Reason 1 We both find it a turn on to know that our partner is desired by others.
Reason 2 The comfort of knowing that we are operating in a secure setting and if anything is not how we would have chosen, our partner is there to intervene.
Reason 3 Nothing is happening behind anyone's back Everything is open and above board.
We will not go into separate rooms under any circumstances.
We have two items which are "ours".
1. kissing on the lips as we consider this to be our private zone
2. anal penetration for the same reason.
We would love to hear other peoples definition.
G&A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't soft swap and don't meet others that do. That's our choice but I don't judge you for your choice.
Personally I hate thinking there are limits or loads of rules when playing. If I'm horny and want a cock inside me I want it now not have to stop and see what hubby doing lol |
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When we meet couples we always look for full swap. That's because we have limited time and opportunity to meet in the first place. So when we have a meet we want 'full action' so to speak. But there's no implied judgement of soft swappers there. Everyone is entitled to set their own boundaries and to seek out people who feel the same. So don't worry about it. Swinging is a broad church, no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We look for full swap but would be happy to do soft swap if thats what the couple wanted to do for us its just as much about finding people we can have a drink, laugh and a chat beforehand with 3 kids at home adult social contact is limited at best so we like to make an evening of it when we do the sexy fun is just the cherry on top lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We a soft swing only, or as someone said at the club we are "swayers," and that suits us just fine....what others think is their problem not ours."
Same here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're happy to do both, and as long as were entering into play with others where it's clear where the boundaries lie, it's not a problem and we don't judge.
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The 'Swinger's Rule Book', Section VII, para 1.6, entry (b), states 'to be classified as a proper swinger, you MUST swap partners and indulge in full, penetrative sex'
oh hang on.... that book doesn't exist
Play on... |
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We are mainly soft swap and have been for 10+ years.
The only downsides are lovely couples who only meet full swap couples, and as we never promise we don't meet them  And sometimes at clubs we get too shy to chat people up in case they want more and we don't and feel like we've wasted their evening. (We know in the real world its never been an issue, maybe its an excuse for being shy lol )
We find soft swap is more sensual and goes on longer than a full swap. But thats just us
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Him here. Totally understand your point OP. It does make you think but we don't worry about the opinion of others. We love soft swing, it's our kink and find it a lot more arousing/erotic than going 'all the way'. Yeah, you need to be patient to find the right person and there's no rush. We're busy getting extremely filthy whilst waiting anyhow. Horses for courses etc x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay I'm always under the impression that when we mention that we're only looking for soft swing we get judged as half-hearters or time-wasters.
We always mention it up-front and have it on our profile tag-line lol, but I was curious this morning, is that actually how we're perceived by the wider community?
I think it's incredibly arousing to be teasing, playing and fucking with other people in the room doing the same, being able to see each other and hear each other.
Mostly though its about boundaries, you can't ignore the turn-on, but if one of you isn't comfortable with going further but finds this massively arousing, then what better way to explore.
I should note that we do play with single females too, which gives J the chance to do what she loves - playing voyeur... The climax for all of us is usually mind-blowing.
Ah-hum, got lost in that thought for a moment, so anyway, the question - do the wider community think of us as lower down the play-chain as a result?"
We often have soft swing and spanking meets......love tie and tease too. Some swingers have been annoyed with us for not doing full swing but it all depends on mood and variety....never feel pressurised to fulfil their fantasy....unless you are in love! |
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Soft swing is great - as a role play lover it is nice to set up a scene, for example where one of the couple has run up a bill or not paid the rent etc. The creditor or landlord visits, and one of the couple is spanked for the late payment, then arriving home the other member of the couple is turned on by what they find, sex ensues and the landlord/creditor sits and watches.
I have done similar themes a few times and the couple have always reported after that they were very turned on by it all.
So "performing" in front of an audience is sexy. But like some of the previous comments say it's what YOU want like, it is your call |
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We started off a soft-swingers and still play soft occasionally, it's wonderfully erotic and intimate. You can do lots without actual penetration, and when it's time for that you just do your own partner - no condoms needed!
People swing in different ways, all are good and we respect other peoples' boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Him here. Totally understand your point OP. It does make you think but we don't worry about the opinion of others. We love soft swing, it's our kink and find it a lot more arousing/erotic than going 'all the way'. Yeah, you need to be patient to find the right person and there's no rush. We're busy getting extremely filthy whilst waiting anyhow. Horses for courses etc x"
Our views in a nutshell |
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