FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Worst Sexual experience.
Worst Sexual experience.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine isn't that bad, just awkward...
First time with my last boyfriend, we were both wankered and we tried really hard to do it in doggy. I ended up face planting the bed while telling him not to stick it in my arse. Then he got up, went to the loo, lost the condom on his way (he thinks he put it in the toilet but he's still not sure!) and then we just gave up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mine isn't that bad, just awkward...
First time with my last boyfriend, we were both wankered and we tried really hard to do it in doggy. I ended up face planting the bed while telling him not to stick it in my arse. Then he got up, went to the loo, lost the condom on his way (he thinks he put it in the toilet but he's still not sure!) and then we just gave up."
ha haha my first time with my ex she was riding me and I was a little too vigorous and she bashed he head of the wall...left a massive lump lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
"
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it "
think that's worse than mine lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it
think that's worse than mine lol"
he just acted like it didnt happen
dirty bastard  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it
think that's worse than mine lol
he just acted like it didnt happen
dirty bastard "
haha was he from fab? I would of been pretty embarrassed
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it
think that's worse than mine lol
he just acted like it didnt happen
dirty bastard
haha was he from fab? I would of been pretty embarrassed
"
not sure if hes on fab or not, he was a guy id met in a club |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A boyfriend called me by another woman's name mid shag once. I turned into the Incredible Hulk and literally threw him off me and then I had a right hissy fit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A boyfriend called me by another woman's name mid shag once. I turned into the Incredible Hulk and literally threw him off me and then I had a right hissy fit.
"
I had a real problem doing this in my earlier life with on gf x needless to say it didn't last lol x it just kept happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it "
Haha me too! He apologised and then we both laughed, then I carried on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A boyfriend called me by another woman's name mid shag once. I turned into the Incredible Hulk and literally threw him off me and then I had a right hissy fit.
"
Ooops!!! I called my hubby the wrong name once.. I called him my ex FB's name (he's on here and thought it was hilarious) it was many years ago but my hubby was not impressed and I'm not sure he's forgiven me yet!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I called it 3 play'. On the count of three I received a wet arm? .
Told him that I just didn't believe that he had just done that,he mumbled a kind of sorry,got dressed and left?.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it
think that's worse than mine lol
he just acted like it didnt happen
dirty bastard "
Good man, no point in making an issue out of it, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!!"
I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??"
Now just calm down and say it slowly... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
i had that with a guy while i was rimming it "
I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you somehow????  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once slept with a girl and it was disappointing. I think i likened it to shagging a bag of potatoes... Anyway d*unk a few months later i went back for seconds despite knowing better.
Half way through she decided to grip my cock so hard i thought the end was about to burst. Needless to say i stopped everything there and then and never went back d*unk or otherwise.
Took a couple of days for him to reappear after that. Poor fellow was traumatised  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful  "
You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!!
I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?"
Same here, was it a scene in a Carry on film? |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Or... (from the previous) with the ex, plastic sheet down, laid there waiting, she was in a rush to get the oil, knocked the door of the hingers in a rush, (wasn't hung very well) it hit me above the eye, two hours in hospital having my eyebrow stitched, still have the scar...
Never forgave the bitch....
Cost me a fortune  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or... (from the previous) with the ex, plastic sheet down, laid there waiting, she was in a rush to get the oil, knocked the door of the hingers in a rush, (wasn't hung very well) it hit me above the eye, two hours in hospital having my eyebrow stitched, still have the scar...
Never forgave the bitch....
Cost me a fortune "
Plastic sheet down?? Oil? door of the hinges (not very well hung , narf narf) that was definitely in a Carry On film |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah to name only a few recent mishaps:
Bunk beds
Same lingerie as his girlfriend
Twins
Saggy ballsack
...meh. "
We need more information, are they all from the same experience ? |
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Met a couple whilst on holiday.
Next night she went out on town and he was smashed.
Met her by chance, head to beach. Sat on stone wall as she got knickers off, 3 hip swings in she falls off pissed sideways and breaks 2 ribs.
Went to hospital and couldn't even tell them her name.
Got back to hotel told reps, then we fudged story. Next morning I was hailed a hero for helping his Mrs after she fell and hurt herself.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was pissed up one time, I thought I could go all Bullseye and fire it in unaided. Needless to say, I felt a small tear and searing pain, followed by blood gushing from my faithful old soldier. Did she show any concern, absolutely not and ran downstairs and told all our friends who came up for a good look aswell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sat naked in a massage parlour gently rubbing my cock waiting for the masseuse to enter the room excited to what she was going to be like,,,only for it to be someone I knew from work.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??"
Translation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going at it with me on top missionary position, noticied something on Mrsdpt's face, asked her has your make up smudged?
Turns out I was having a nose bleed and it dripped on her face
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??
Now just calm down and say it slowly..."
Having sex standing at the bar with the lady and she dropped to the floor. By the way she fell he thought she had died and was worried he would have to explain it to a court and his friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful
You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you? "
Possibly the bed had slats and she fell through. Or it tipped on its side and she ended up underneath it. |
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Turning up at a meet to find a post-op TS but wasn't 100% sure as she hadn't mentioned it. Surgery was good but not like any pussy I had seen before. That was enough proof. Couldn't be horrible to her and leave so did the business anyhow. Couldn't get out my head I was fucking a bloke (albeit former) that she had deceived me, made worse by the strange pelvic angle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed
"
Omg I had this happen at chams once. It leaves u wondering okaaaay how do I react now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
|
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!!
I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?"
Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance....
Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one!
Lol
 |
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!!
I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?
Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance....
Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one!
Lol
"
Sorry, my bad.
Mr Manny didn't last for three strokes. According to her, it was two.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful
You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you?
Possibly the bed had slats and she fell through. Or it tipped on its side and she ended up underneath it."
No lol what i meant was i went through the bed and pulled the duvet with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
"
I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction "
I think my exact words were "EHHHHH are you fucking kidding me?!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction
I think my exact words were "EHHHHH are you fucking kidding me?!" "
Tbh thats much tamer than i expected. Thought you might have stabbed him with a unicorn horn  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??
Now just calm down and say it slowly...
Having sex standing at the bar "
In a sex club or regular club? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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in a dark room in Amsterdam, I fell over hit my head on the wall, completely knocked out, woke up a few hours later, thought I had been kidnapped and screamed the place down while slapping/kicking anyone that got near me who were trying to help all in complete darkness |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"I got off with the landlady of a pub in Cambridge and stayed back for a "lock in". Went up to her room and started the business, I'm on top and suddenly realised I'm being rimmed at the same time. By her alsatian. I manfully carried on while shouting 'Fuck off Rex" or something similar. Funny looking back.
Caught in bed by a less than amused hubby once too. Not so amusing."
*deceased* |
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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago
not far from you.. |
Meeting up with a couple from here (mentioning no names) non forum users!..
Stating & discussing your likes and dislikes then one has to completely get carried away & do what he thinks is ok when I clearly said it wasn't.
Over stepped the mark...(limits set)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM,
Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment.
Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment.
Could have kissed the bread man!!!
I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?
Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance....
Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one!
Lol
"
Alan Turing is alive! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
"
Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That would be meeting a couple for a three sum and in the hotel playing then the putting it inside her the other guy stopped it saying he doesn't want her to fuck anyone else and kicked me out |
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!! "
Ha I think I got the same message!! I don't think they noticed I am 47 though!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True story. Been out at a club, pissed out of our minds back to the house d*unken brewers droop sex. Just before morning she d*unkenedly woke me, " you gotta go before husband comes home" halfway back to camp realised I was on long weekend and I was the husband |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner.
Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby"
Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!!
Ha I think I got the same message!! I don't think they noticed I am 47 though!!!!! "
There is obviously some kind of fetish need for mature mums!! I'm 41 ...some people?! [sighs] |
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