FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do I see status updates of ladies being let down but as a genuine guy I can't get to meet!
Why do I see status updates of ladies being let down but as a genuine guy I can't get to meet!
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By *ryme101 OP Man
over a year ago
wiltshire |
Just wondered if anyone else gets a lot of this?
I see lots of ladies who put in their status updates that they have been let down several times often at the last minute
I'm a genuine, single guy, I'm verified and have always turned up when I said I would, I'm selective so will only meet when I think it's right for all parties.
I find it so frustrating that my messages get swallowed up in the sea of "spam" messages from non genuine people and I can't even get a hello! I don't think I'm THAT ugly!
How do you get around this? I haven't been to a club and don't think it's quite my thing at the present time so I'm reliant on messages
Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often thought the same when anyone is let down. There are many couples/singles all saying can't get a meet, time wasters. But so many on the forums posting how much they want a meet. It's A fab paradox.  |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Just wondered if anyone else gets a lot of this?
I see lots of ladies who put in their status updates that they have been let down several times often at the last minute
I'm a genuine, single guy, I'm verified and have always turned up when I said I would, I'm selective so will only meet when I think it's right for all parties.
I find it so frustrating that my messages get swallowed up in the sea of "spam" messages from non genuine people and I can't even get a hello! I don't think I'm THAT ugly!
How do you get around this? I haven't been to a club and don't think it's quite my thing at the present time so I'm reliant on messages
Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this"
purely and simply the number of meets is down to the numbers game you already know that as you mention it in your post .
I take a different approach to you in the fact that I send out very few introduction messages I'm talking about less than ten a month.
I find its best to be active in the forums or if a site has a blog or diary area regularly post in them and wait for someone to approach you and while your waiting just enjoy the forums reading other peoples blogs and diaries and add the odd comment.
this approach works for me and it also means I rarely get frustrated about how site life is . |
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Ok I have sent probably 20 messages over the last couple of days to potential meets most lie unopened some deleted without response - I am a genuine verified male who meets yet struggle to get responses - so yes I fully sympathise with your comment about time wasters but from the ladies point of view how can she choose from hundreds of messages? It must be very tough for them so both sides end up equally frustrated which is the real shame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I have sent probably 20 messages over the last couple of days to potential meets most lie unopened some deleted without response - I am a genuine verified male who meets yet struggle to get responses - so yes I fully sympathise with your comment about time wasters but from the ladies point of view how can she choose from hundreds of messages? It must be very tough for them so both sides end up equally frustrated which is the real shame "
can i just point out that you can mark messages as unread, so you may not have a clear picture of whether they have been read or not. as a short dumpy middleaged woman i do not get 'hundreds' of messages, but i often read a profile,if im not interested i then mark as unread, and leave them to be deleted a day or 2 later just because by then the sender has usually forgotten about them and doesnt chase up a deletion with some sort of hassle..its a cop out i know, but less than getting 'why not' grief.. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Ok I have sent probably 20 messages over the last couple of days to potential meets most lie unopened some deleted without response - I am a genuine verified male who meets yet struggle to get responses - so yes I fully sympathise with your comment about time wasters but from the ladies point of view how can she choose from hundreds of messages? It must be very tough for them so both sides end up equally frustrated which is the real shame
can i just point out that you can mark messages as unread, so you may not have a clear picture of whether they have been read or not. as a short dumpy middleaged woman i do not get 'hundreds' of messages, but i often read a profile,if im not interested i then mark as unread, and leave them to be deleted a day or 2 later just because by then the sender has usually forgotten about them and doesnt chase up a deletion with some sort of hassle..its a cop out i know, but less than getting 'why not' grief.."
not a cop out in my book in a world where some guys view a no as a maybe and bombard a unfortunate woman with message after message if she's lucky and if she's unlucky go off on a rant your approach seems like common sense to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My two let downs on here were by genuine men,one was verified by 6 people. I've met a few men who weren't verified in any way. You don't know if someone will turn up until they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered if anyone else gets a lot of this?
I see lots of ladies who put in their status updates that they have been let down several times often at the last minute
I'm a genuine, single guy, I'm verified and have always turned up when I said I would, I'm selective so will only meet when I think it's right for all parties.
I find it so frustrating that my messages get swallowed up in the sea of "spam" messages from non genuine people and I can't even get a hello! I don't think I'm THAT ugly!
How do you get around this? I haven't been to a club and don't think it's quite my thing at the present time so I'm reliant on messages
Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this"
I get this all the time, its the nature of the Fab beast unfortunately. If you're not their type, then you're not their type, and you cant do much to change that. Pick yourself up and move on. |
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Some let downs are genuine I'm sure, life happens and things do occur and as annoying as it is (and I've had my fair share as much as anyone of let downs!) you have to move on
If a particular couple or woman is having an issue with lots of let downs or disappearing profiles I'd have to question their selection criteria given there are plenty of us single guys out there who do meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some let downs are genuine I'm sure, life happens and things do occur and as annoying as it is (and I've had my fair share as much as anyone of let downs!) you have to move on
If a particular couple or woman is having an issue with lots of let downs or disappearing profiles I'd have to question their selection criteria given there are plenty of us single guys out there who do meet "
I agree with this. |
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By *ryme101 OP Man
over a year ago
wiltshire |
Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off?"
im sure there are, of both sexes...but im baffled by peoples constant use of the word 'genuine'...you also mention your messages getting lost in a 'sea of spam' messages...how do you know how many or what type of messages someone has received...again its that daft idea that somehow a crap message from one person somehow affects subsequent messages from completely different people...how does that work exactly?
its seems to me that too many men are very quick to cite 'non genuine' men for any lack of success....im really not having a go, i just really dont understand this constant assumption that somehow a deleted or ignored message is the fault of some previous sender..women really arent that stupid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off?"
Yes. There are a lot of people who want some titillation while they are at work or bored at home alone and say they are interested,and want to meet,to keep the excitement going for them. It's why I don't usually do sex talks or send naked pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are also some who have photos and information about themselves on their profiles that isn't correct or a true representation of who they are or what they look like. They can't possibly meet,because they have been lying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Way to many time wasting pricks on here spoils it for us genuine swingers grrrr
How do you think they are spoiling it for you? Explain please."
this..again! yes, please explain...im very puzzled by this oft repeated whine... |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Johnsodas second law of fab..
The amount of genuines used is inversely proportional to the actual genuineness..
I'm a single guy, I meet folk , whether socially or for frolic s,
All demographics suffer from let downs, if the folk are let down with no communication (yep real world happens) block report move on.. putting it in your status will only fill your inbox with "I'd never let you down messages...Honest I'm really genuine"  .. |
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By *ryme101 OP Man
over a year ago
wiltshire |
"Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off?
im sure there are, of both sexes...but im baffled by peoples constant use of the word 'genuine'...you also mention your messages getting lost in a 'sea of spam' messages...how do you know how many or what type of messages someone has received...again its that daft idea that somehow a crap message from one person somehow affects subsequent messages from completely different people...how does that work exactly?
its seems to me that too many men are very quick to cite 'non genuine' men for any lack of success....im really not having a go, i just really dont understand this constant assumption that somehow a deleted or ignored message is the fault of some previous sender..women really arent that stupid"
I'm not blaming them for lack of success, I'm basing this on feedback from people that I have met from here, so for example on lady I met received 20 "fancy a fuck" messages in the space of a few hours which I witnessed first hand. I guess by "genuine" I also mean those who are prepared to make an effort rather than a cut/paste message
I've also seen status updates from new people along the lines of "140 messages already, give me a chance"
Just by weight of numbers it must be hard to filter out these or maybe it's only these that get so many. Purely an observation |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off?
im sure there are, of both sexes...but im baffled by peoples constant use of the word 'genuine'...you also mention your messages getting lost in a 'sea of spam' messages...how do you know how many or what type of messages someone has received...again its that daft idea that somehow a crap message from one person somehow affects subsequent messages from completely different people...how does that work exactly?
its seems to me that too many men are very quick to cite 'non genuine' men for any lack of success....im really not having a go, i just really dont understand this constant assumption that somehow a deleted or ignored message is the fault of some previous sender..women really arent that stupid
I'm not blaming them for lack of success, I'm basing this on feedback from people that I have met from here, so for example on lady I met received 20 "fancy a fuck" messages in the space of a few hours which I witnessed first hand. I guess by "genuine" I also mean those who are prepared to make an effort rather than a cut/paste message
I've also seen status updates from new people along the lines of "140 messages already, give me a chance"
Just by weight of numbers it must be hard to filter out these or maybe it's only these that get so many. Purely an observation"
They must know about filters, they set up their profile..
I don't send many prospective messages, I get a fair few prospective messages from folk though., it seems to me those that know what they're looking for will search it out ... They're proactive rather than reactive, it's one of the reasons having a profile that informs hopefully entices is in my opinion invaluable, those that are fed up of the monotony of one dimensional messages if they visit my profile they can decide.. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Interesting, I didn't quite expect as much of a response, it was more of an observation, however people select their attempted meets is fine for me, and I understand that genuine guys can sometimes have something come up which means a genuine cancellation, it wasn't a criticism of everyone that has to cancel, I just found it odd when I see status's along the lines of "had 3 cancellations this week, had enough of fab timewasters"
Do you think there are a lot of people out there that prefer the fantasy and thrill of the chase and then when they get a meet that is when they are turned off?
Yes. There are a lot of people who want some titillation while they are at work or bored at home alone and say they are interested,and want to meet,to keep the excitement going for them. It's why I don't usually do sex talks or send naked pics. "
The same here I never do sex talk until after a social meet has gone well and things are clearly going to progress from there . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not getting a meet isn't the result of others and whether they or not they have created a stereotype.
"It's always someone else's fault".. When really it isn't.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good afternoon ,
Fab islike a game of chess , we just have to make a move and be patient.
The women of fab receive so many emails , so we will get a reply eventually if they take a liking to us.
A few of my messages have been deleted, plenty more fishes in the sea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This i find is a difficult one,
As a test case myself and a female friend set her up on here, and before we had even put a photo on her profile she had over 65 messages, within the first hour she had 478
Now, think about this, if you posted in the first 10, would she even scroll back down to go through them all?
Would you?
Its riddiculous for us guys, you really do just have to be persistent and hope that you dont annoy, but i fear without persistence the messages just get missed.
As for us genuine guys, we just have to chin up and carry on 
At least when the women do meet us, they are going to have a guy who is going to be gratifying and not selfish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am beginning to think it is a fantasy for most people either that or I am the most undesirable single chap on fab , I can't Get a meet either, I think yer right lol ahh sure keep trying "
in answer to that i can only say most women check out a profile before opening a message...yet again though its someone elses fault... |
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By *ryme101 OP Man
over a year ago
wiltshire |
Yeah I didn't start the conversation to blame anyone for not meeting, and it wasn't a dig, it was more to vent the frustration of people being stood up regularly and I think the number of active people on the forums seem to show that there at a lot of people who are conscientious! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered if anyone else gets a lot of this?
I see lots of ladies who put in their status updates that they have been let down several times often at the last minute
I'm a genuine, single guy, I'm verified and have always turned up when I said I would, I'm selective so will only meet when I think it's right for all parties.
I find it so frustrating that my messages get swallowed up in the sea of "spam" messages from non genuine people and I can't even get a hello! I don't think I'm THAT ugly!
How do you get around this? I haven't been to a club and don't think it's quite my thing at the present time so I'm reliant on messages
Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this"
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered if anyone else gets a lot of this?
I see lots of ladies who put in their status updates that they have been let down several times often at the last minute
I'm a genuine, single guy, I'm verified and have always turned up when I said I would, I'm selective so will only meet when I think it's right for all parties.
I find it so frustrating that my messages get swallowed up in the sea of "spam" messages from non genuine people and I can't even get a hello! I don't think I'm THAT ugly!
How do you get around this? I haven't been to a club and don't think it's quite my thing at the present time so I'm reliant on messages
Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this
Same here "
again, consider that women will usually check a profile before a message...and will react accordingly.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been let down by a guy tonight (see our status!) Strangely we have met this guy once before and had a brilliant meet, he was on our friends list and we had exchanged messages and texts. Then no messages over the last few days or texts and we go to message him on Fab and says his profile is blocked and he is no longer on our friends list. Strange? |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
Yes ladies do get let down as do men and couples in all the guises that appear here on fab.
Does it cause me a problem, no, if I say I will be somewhere I will. No if buts or when's...
Perhaps a change of pics to enhance your profile OP |
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By *ryme101 OP Man
over a year ago
wiltshire |
"We have been let down by a guy tonight (see our status!) Strangely we have met this guy once before and had a brilliant meet, he was on our friends list and we had exchanged messages and texts. Then no messages over the last few days or texts and we go to message him on Fab and says his profile is blocked and he is no longer on our friends list. Strange?"
Oh dear that's not good to hear, odd that you had met him before then disappeared! |
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