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the curse of a marriage
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just putting my thoughts out there
My best friend has just split up only two years but they (hubby)cheated have been together over 20 years and 5 children.
I am asking if you have been with your partner a long time is a marriage or monogamy or curse |
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It can be.
My parents have been married 61 years and I would say it's far from a curse. Mr N and I have been married 28 years but together 35 and neither of us would look on it as a curse.
I think it entirely depends on how you view your relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm 10 years into relationship and 3 married. Cant decide sometimes it feels like both. Life changes and moves on you deal with what you can but society has crazy expectations and family csn be worse. Communication harder now then evee with us all glued to phones and availability of 24/7 porn very damaging imo. Love my wife but have recently started to desire swinging. How to break it to her without sounding like a dick!?  |
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By *egin551Couple
over a year ago
south west ! |
Been married for 21 years, we have been swinging off and on for years, no curse here, it depends on your relationship, always talk, you must love your partner and make sure they are your best friend, children, house and a business to run, yes things do get stressed sometimes, you can be stressed without a partner, find things are better if you share your thoughts and of course other things   |
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Nope very happily married.
Its tricky to get others relationships. But I just generally accept that there are many reasons for people getting together and not ever relationship is a carbon copy of our own. So it's very difficult to apply our own circumstances to others.
Before anything we are best friends, then lovers, then husband and wife.
The swinging is just a bit on the side, we could easily spend a weekend at a theme park, nice hotel, walking in the country. |
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. "
Ditto...im finally breaking free and will have nothing. Im loosing everything but gaining my sanity and health back |
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Mr and I have been together 10+ years. We are not married. We would like to but can't afford it. Our relationship was getting stale and boring. After 2 kids I just was knackered all the time. Mr suggested swinging, I was mortified... Well 18 months on. Our relationship is stronger than ever. And I am totally loving the fact I can still turn Mr on with the slightest touch. I think in any relationship honesty and conversation is key, just from recently. This lifestyle has helped us with talking about what we want need. Each relationship is different, if you really love the other person you will try everything to make it work. If not it's time to move on. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married for 20 years and loved it.
we had our ups and downs like all couples but I loved her and loved being married.
I then found out she was having an affair, it nearly put me away,I tried to save the marriage but she didn't want to know.
She had been with the guy 3 weeks,
lasted 18 months and he beat the shit out of her.
I didn't have any contact with her for 7 years, then had to get in touch for family reasons.
We talk now and then, she admitted it was the biggest mistake of her life and had never stopped loving me.
To late now I have moved on, and I am very happy just got engaged as well lol.
So to all the people out there that are scared to move on, things really do get better honest, and when you do move on most of you will find someone special...I did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its difficult being honest with yourself. But that is that what you need to be, and then you can find the answer.
It's only a curse if you stay together for the wrong reasons. If your together for the right reason, then it's a marriage. That's only my opinion, and it means nothing. It's only how I see a position close to me. |
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Married 27 yrs together 30 yrs best friends great sex life and home great social life . We have fun with others 3/4 times a year for the extra excitement, like someone else said could just as easy go theme park , theatre , we just decided to make most of our time fun as a long time dead . As long as we are not hurting anyone who to say what we get up too ?????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage isn't a curse. Some relationships are good and some aren't. Some are neither - just complicated.
My parents had a shitty marriage, but that was up to them, not their marriage certificate. Marc and I have been together over 10 years and it has been wonderful - again that is down to us, not our marriage certificate.
The key is to not let bad relationships become bad marriages. It's too easy to blame the insitution when it's the people who need to work at it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage for us wasn't a curse at all. We have been together 23 years and married for 10 of those. I think for those that say marriage changes their relationship were probably already having issues and were hoping that marriage was going to magically fix them. It doesn't work like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think in many of the cases where it seems cursed, the relationship is on the rocks and the couple look to marriage as something which could potentially fix things. It's not getting married that would help but sorting the issues they have.
I done similar with an ex of mine, had the break up conversation, bought a house together two weeks later  doh! |
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"Marriage isn't a curse. Some relationships are good and some aren't. Some are neither - just complicated.
My parents had a shitty marriage, but that was up to them, not their marriage certificate. Marc and I have been together over 10 years and it has been wonderful - again that is down to us, not our marriage certificate.
The key is to not let bad relationships become bad marriages. It's too easy to blame the insitution when it's the people who need to work at it. "
Very true. |
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. "
Haven't you been chucked out with the rubbish .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years.
Haven't you been chucked out with the rubbish .... "
No, she realised she needed a provider and doormat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years.
Ditto...im finally breaking free and will have nothing. Im loosing everything but gaining my sanity and health back"
Good for you. I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and loose my house for the second time. May as well have fuck all and be happy. Xx |
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"Nope very happily married.
Its tricky to get others relationships. But I just generally accept that there are many reasons for people getting together and not ever relationship is a carbon copy of our own. So it's very difficult to apply our own circumstances to others.
Before anything we are best friends, then lovers, then husband and wife.
The swinging is just a bit on the side, we could easily spend a weekend at a theme park, nice hotel, walking in the country. "
This is us
Been together 29 years this year, 26 of them married
We are best friends first, everything else has been built on that
Respect, trust, love,honesty
We Spend our time doing many things both together and apart,
I know our relationship has been what it is because we've always talked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Moved on five years ago.....dented severely financially but getting back there now. Emotionally the best thing I ever did."
Snap....moved on 10 yrs ago....lost a small fortune but my emotional well being is the best it's ever been....hard to begin with but after yrs of hard work I'm back on my feet and happier than I've ever been.
I firmly believe in the quote " once bitten , twice shy ".....
I now live life to the full and enjoying every minute of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met and married within 8 months so a bit of a whirlwind...
Stayed married for almost 8 years, although very unhappily as I was a battered wife and kept thinking he would change!!
Managed to get him away from us the day before 8th wedding anniversary (prison is a wonderful institution!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been together 9 years having split for a few months back in 2014, we both had exciting sexual experiences while apart, I (fem) had a one night stand with a girl! So so sexy, he had a 5 sum in a hot tub!! We talked about it and worked things out, we needed that time apart to realise how much we had together and the potential our relationship had if we were both open and commited. We've now been swinging for 18 months have met some amazing people and make sure it's fun.
We married this April and are loving the ride, absolutely not a curse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just putting my thoughts out there
My best friend has just split up only two years but they (hubby)cheated have been together over 20 years and 5 children.
I am asking if you have been with your partner a long time is a marriage or monogamy or curse"
Me and Mrs M have been together over 20 years, married for almost 18...and we are still happy.
She has recently found that she enjoys the park, after going on the roundabout and the slide, she's now ready for the swings  |
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Great comments everyone, I've been married for 2 years, wife is not into the swinging, i told her the day i met her i was into it, she thinks I've stopped but its too hard for me to give it up, I love meeting horny couples woman and guys , I want her to join me but cant seem to persuade her into it, I do love her but always have doubts in my head about staying cos I enjoy the swinging too much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been together for over 30 year's, married for 18years and never been happier.
Can honestly say getting married didn't change a thing we love each other as much now as ever we did.
Married or not.
Always had a great sex life and barring illness, pregnancy, mother nature and outside influences.
We have had sex pretty much daily since about six months into relationship.
Love being married, love Jools and give swinging up in a heartbeat if it ever threatened what we have.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been married for 5 and a half years and I wouldn't say it was a curse. My husbands my best friend and I know it'll be that way forever. This is just a bit of fun for us as husband also as a separate account. I think in any relationship communication is very important x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great comments everyone, I've been married for 2 years, wife is not into the swinging, i told her the day i met her i was into it, she thinks I've stopped but its too hard for me to give it up, I love meeting horny couples woman and guys , I want her to join me but cant seem to persuade her into it, I do love her but always have doubts in my head about staying cos I enjoy the swinging too much "
There is nothing like an honest and open relationship ...
And yours is nothing like an honest and open relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just putting my thoughts out there
My best friend has just split up only two years but they (hubby)cheated have been together over 20 years and 5 children.
I am asking if you have been with your partner a long time is a marriage or monogamy or curse"
Was the cheating the only reason they split up? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just putting my thoughts out there
My best friend has just split up only two years but they (hubby)cheated have been together over 20 years and 5 children.
I am asking if you have been with your partner a long time is a marriage or monogamy or curse
Was the cheating the only reason they split up? "
The cheating was part of it but I think they fell out of love which is sad. Like I said they were together for a long time before they got married. Have seen this with other couples get wed 6 months later they have split after being together for so long x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was 17 years for me and I was unhappy most of it as I was kind of forced into it.
Finally got the courage to leave 16 months ago. We hardly had sex in our marriage. I put loads of weight on, felt ugly and unwanted but tried very hard to make it work.
Can honestly say it's taken up until now to feel genuinely free & happy. And free to explore so many things.
I don't think I'll ever marry again. If I do he will have to be amazing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. "
Why waste what time u have left on this planet like this. It is never too late to make the change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met and married within 8 months so a bit of a whirlwind...
Stayed married for almost 8 years, although very unhappily as I was a battered wife and kept thinking he would change!!
Managed to get him away from us the day before 8th wedding anniversary (prison is a wonderful institution!) "
Big hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The answer to this depends on your relationship.
For me personally I love Mr B to bits and can't imagine not having him in my life. We have been together 18.5 years, been married for 14 of those (in a fortnight), have 3 kids, and still have an amazing sex life.
We joined this site after much discussion but it's something we want to explore together.
So yes we're very much a couple, but we are also our own people so aren't joined at the hip.
And we trust each other completely.
I think if you don't have trust, then why are you even together?
I listen to friends etc and sometimes think we're the weird ones as for the most part we just work and although we have niggles with/at each other, i can honestly count on 1 hand how many big arguments we've had x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. "
I've just looked at your profile (Mrs) and honestly, what have you got to lose by leaving.
It may be hard initially, but you have a fit looking body for your age and I'm sure someone would snap you up in no time.
You can't keep living the way you are. It's not fair on either of you, but on you particularly x
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"Just putting my thoughts out there
My best friend has just split up only two years but they (hubby)cheated have been together over 20 years and 5 children.
I am asking if you have been with your partner a long time is a marriage or monogamy or curse"
Personally I wouldn't have a boyfriend for years and kids then marry. These types of relationships seldom last because people think the paperwork will make a dying relationship better, it doesn't.
I loved being married and we wouldn't have contemplated not being monogamous. I do miss not being part of a married couple, being a "partner" doesn't really work for me I'm finding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would view my long term relationship as a curse. The sex stopped years ago, I've had my own bedroom for 8 years, she no longer fancies me, and I can't afford to move on. I've become institutionalised.
I'm old, so nobody is going to want me now, but she is still quite young.
Wish I could go back 20 years. "
Sending a hug x |
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"I have always been single and I don't think we will see marriages that will last for 50 to 70 years as much anymore."
Only 50% end in divorce so you can look at it as glass half full or half empty. |
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