FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > "Punching above your weight"?
"Punching above your weight"?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'd think they're saying they are going for the women who they think are on their level of attractiveness and not better looking than they are.
this wouldn't bother me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd think it was an odd choice of conversation (talking negatively around a new acquaintance isn't the best idea) and that they were probably pretty bitter to mention it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure I would really note it as significant. People aren't very good at expressing themselves well - they don't often think about what they are saying to make sure it conveys the meaning the want. Being flippant is common.
If it was just one part of a negative whole, then I would begin to feel personal disinterest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thinking a bit more he's basically saying he'd expect to be knocked back by women better looking than he is but not those on his level.
not sure what he means by that but it could be taken a few ways, some of them not good and maybe entitled.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again. "
I take it back.. what sort of dick joins a sex based community hoping to fulfill fantasies!!  |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again. "
You may be overthinking OP. I used to do this too. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? "
yeah he sounds bitter, probably due to the fact every woman on here no matter what they look like or body shape are only seeking exceptional men and he has been turned down. He is engaging in conversation with you but he is desperate to seal the deal.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again. "
I can understand why your feathers may have been ruffled by his first comments and what that might or might not imply, but I see less wrong with these comments. This is essentially a casual sex site isn't it? No strings fun with likeminded people. A chance to maybe do exactly that - explore and try new things.
It seems like he might not have the best way with words and if they're irking or annoying you chances are you might not get on anyway.
Good luck with it and keep smiling x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again.
I can understand why your feathers may have been ruffled by his first comments and what that might or might not imply, but I see less wrong with these comments. This is essentially a casual sex site isn't it? No strings fun with likeminded people. A chance to maybe do exactly that - explore and try new things.
It seems like he might not have the best way with words and if they're irking or annoying you chances are you might not get on anyway.
Good luck with it and keep smiling x "
Stop being so damn sensible, Dan!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again.
I can understand why your feathers may have been ruffled by his first comments and what that might or might not imply, but I see less wrong with these comments. This is essentially a casual sex site isn't it? No strings fun with likeminded people. A chance to maybe do exactly that - explore and try new things.
It seems like he might not have the best way with words and if they're irking or annoying you chances are you might not get on anyway.
Good luck with it and keep smiling x "
You see, I knew I was in an arsey mood! I took the latter comment (yes, I know where we are) to be that he wanted HIS fantasies realised and bollocks to the rest of us.
I think I need some sleep!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again.
I can understand why your feathers may have been ruffled by his first comments and what that might or might not imply, but I see less wrong with these comments. This is essentially a casual sex site isn't it? No strings fun with likeminded people. A chance to maybe do exactly that - explore and try new things.
It seems like he might not have the best way with words and if they're irking or annoying you chances are you might not get on anyway.
Good luck with it and keep smiling x
Stop being so damn sensible, Dan!!"
 oops sorreee xx  |
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? "
I think I'd laugh and wish him well for the future. I don't buy into the punching above ones weight thing and anyone who thinks in those terms or implies that I might feel that way would probably not get along with me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure I would really note it as significant. People aren't very good at expressing themselves well - they don't often think about what they are saying to make sure it conveys the meaning the want. Being flippant is common.
If it was just one part of a negative whole, then I would begin to feel personal disinterest."
I'm always trying to punch above my weight... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x"
Not you, fucking stunning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning "
Even we have insecurities... x |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x "
he wants to fuck you in his full condom suit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x he wants to fuck you in his full condom suit "
Sorry, wrong thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x "
Really, where? |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x he wants to fuck you in his full condom suit
Sorry, wrong thread"
no that wasn't a mistake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x
Really, where?"
Same place most people do.. in our heads and hearts x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x he wants to fuck you in his full condom suit
Sorry, wrong thread no that wasn't a mistake "
Oh your just stupid then? Struggling to remember the thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x
Really, where?
Same place most people do.. in our heads and hearts x "
Good point X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people carry heavy insecurities and try to play them down by using such comments, i doubt it is not always meant in a narcassistic manner but can come accross that way, i guess it depends on the context and how you perceive it, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes x
Not you, fucking stunning
Even we have insecurities... x
Really, where?
Same place most people do.. in our heads and hearts x
Good point X "
Insecurities can be a positive, they keep us grounded, using them to score points off others though is unnaceptable x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? yeah he sounds bitter, probably due to the fact every woman on here no matter what they look like or body shape are only seeking exceptional men and he has been turned down. He is engaging in conversation with you but he is desperate to seal the deal."
God you come out with some shit at times. How dare you think you know what every woman on here wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? "
I'd block them. And then wait for them to start a forum thread complaining about people blocking them for no reason |
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment?
I'd block them. And then wait for them to start a forum thread complaining about people blocking them for no reason "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? "
To me it sounds a little entitled, like he's saying that he'd expect someone to be aloof if they were attractive but as they're not (or he doesn't consider them to be) they should be pleased of his attention. I would certainly tread carefully with him |
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By *pal2Man
over a year ago
cumbria |
definitely an art to messaging, its easy for people to express wrongly or comments to be misconstrued.
Having said that I agree with others that i wouldnt want to speak to negative persons or those with chips on their shoulders. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd explain the principles of supply and demand "
Oh you can be sure that I pointed out the site rules that no reply meant no thanks and the odds of men v women on here. He certainly did not like that.
It is a shame, we were getting on quite well, but I do feel that he has a slightly over-inflated ego, he has face and body pics which he sends out with messages. I suspect he is miffed that not as many people find him as alluring as he thinks should. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd think it was an odd choice of conversation (talking negatively around a new acquaintance isn't the best idea) and that they were probably pretty bitter to mention it.
and an instant turn off"
Exactly this. If he's being so negative so early in the conversation and he's already giving you bad vibes I'd say to cut your losses |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd think it was an odd choice of conversation (talking negatively around a new acquaintance isn't the best idea) and that they were probably pretty bitter to mention it.
and an instant turn off
Exactly this. If he's being so negative so early in the conversation and he's already giving you bad vibes I'd say to cut your losses"
I have already cut my losses with him, (on my block list), I am just glad that I didn't waste more of my time on the guy. I am not the most patient of people, so I did give him a chance, though TBH, reading his messages was a bit like hearing nails on a blackboard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? yeah he sounds bitter, probably due to the fact every woman on here no matter what they look like or body shape are only seeking exceptional men and he has been turned down. He is engaging in conversation with you but he is desperate to seal the deal."
Wow you really dislike women |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? yeah he sounds bitter, probably due to the fact every woman on here no matter what they look like or body shape are only seeking exceptional men and he has been turned down. He is engaging in conversation with you but he is desperate to seal the deal.
Wow you really dislike women "
not at all I love women please look at my slim some appreciation thread, I am just telling the op how it is and why the guy might be pushy and bitter. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? yeah he sounds bitter, probably due to the fact every woman on here no matter what they look like or body shape are only seeking exceptional men and he has been turned down. He is engaging in conversation with you but he is desperate to seal the deal.
Wow you really dislike women not at all I love women please look at my slim some appreciation thread, I am just telling the op how it is and why the guy might be pushy and bitter."
*slim women appreciation thread* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(From Male half)
I have never understood the weight punching thing, compatibility rears its head in unexpected ways if you keep an open mind.
Of course what is compatible has different priorities for different folk, So singles tend to play this more like a dating game, where for us it is more important to have a more of a friendhsip connection.
Of course attraction has to be there for everyone, but i am more likely to be attracted to people that make me laugh or feel at ease than people that can only trade off of good looks and shallow personalities.
Good sex only ever comes from a space of good connections with all involved, sex can still be shallow and unfulfilling even among swingers.
Personality and temperament trump looks, age and social status every single time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After doing a bit of back-peddling and smoothing of my ruffled feathers, he then went onto tell me the reason he joined here was to "explore and fulfil some of his sexual fantasies". Dunno, I must be in an arsey mood tonight, coz that comment ruffled the feathers again. "
Why???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is essentially a casual sex site isn't it? No strings fun with likeminded people. A chance to maybe do exactly that - explore and try new things.
It seems like he might not have the best way with words and if they're irking or annoying you chances are you might not get on anyway.
This. |
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"Having blocked him, I have had a friend request! Do I give him another chance?"
I'm not being rude but how have you had a friend request if you've blocked? I'm getting the impression that you want someone to say "give him a chance, meet him" but you really do need to make your own mind up about this, either keep trying or give up, the decision and ultimately the responsibility for the results of it are yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the pics on this site can be very deceiving!! I have had quite a few meets over the years when the lady I'm meeting looks nothing like her pics, So like a rabbit caught in headlights I've ended up going a head with what we had planned lol. I didn't want to offend them by saying damn you look different from your pics.
But there are some absolute stunning women on this site! I'd only dream of ever getting a chance to meet, So I suppose you have to know what your limits are and be realistic. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think the pics on this site can be very deceiving!! I have had quite a few meets over the years when the lady I'm meeting looks nothing like her pics, So like a rabbit caught in headlights I've ended up going a head with what we had planned lol. I didn't want to offend them by saying damn you look different from your pics.
But there are some absolute stunning women on this site! I'd only dream of ever getting a chance to meet, So I suppose you have to know what your limits are and be realistic."
If you meet someone and you don't want to go ahead, even if they do look like their photos, you have every right to say you changed your mind. If the women take offence, to put it bluntly, it's their problem.
Everyone has the right to say no, at any point.
I'm often disappointed when turned down and sure, it can hurt, but it's part of meeting strangers for NSA sex. Sometimes you just won't hit it off. There's no excuse for strops or bad behaviour because someone has said they don't want to have sex.
If you don't want to do it, don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd put myself as a welsh ranking 8, not talking world wide rankings as then I'd go down but for South Wales which is the audience I go for I'm an 8 cos I've got an alright face, big fake boobs fucking lush fanny and my personality is shit hot and I'm funny. I can go for other 8's and I go above with 9's and even 10's and not feel like I'm punching.
I haven't read the thread so dunno if my comment is relevant! |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I think the pics on this site can be very deceiving!! I have had quite a few meets over the years when the lady I'm meeting looks nothing like her pics, So like a rabbit caught in headlights I've ended up going a head with what we had planned lol. I didn't want to offend them by saying damn you look different from your pics.
But there are some absolute stunning women on this site! I'd only dream of ever getting a chance to meet, So I suppose you have to know what your limits are and be realistic."
no that's only if you are male, if you are a woman on a sex site it is different |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment? "
To be totally honest, if it was someone I'd only exchanged a few messages with, that comment would put me off them for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it reeks of entitlement. Secondly, it seems like they lack empathy (it doesn't take long being on fab to realise that the demographics are totally skewed and apply common sense to see things from the point of view of other people you may be messaging). Thirdly, it would make me think they're only talking to me because I fit with some arbitrary level of attractiveness they have come up with rather than me as an individual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the pics on this site can be very deceiving!! I have had quite a few meets over the years when the lady I'm meeting looks nothing like her pics, So like a rabbit caught in headlights I've ended up going a head with what we had planned lol. I didn't want to offend them by saying damn you look different from your pics.
But there are some absolute stunning women on this site! I'd only dream of ever getting a chance to meet, So I suppose you have to know what your limits are and be realistic."
I found its ages that are deceiving too. Met guys that have taken ten years off their age or had a hard life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having blocked him, I have had a friend request! Do I give him another chance?"
I think that's a glitch...
it is sent automatically when you block someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the pics on this site can be very deceiving!! I have had quite a few meets over the years when the lady I'm meeting looks nothing like her pics, So like a rabbit caught in headlights I've ended up going a head with what we had planned lol. I didn't want to offend them by saying damn you look different from your pics.
But there are some absolute stunning women on this site! I'd only dream of ever getting a chance to meet, So I suppose you have to know what your limits are and be realistic. no that's only if you are male, if you are a woman on a sex site it is different "
you keep calling it a sex site....tut tut tut... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do need to feel an attraction but if he makes me laugh he's half way there. And I'm always told I'm better looking in real life. But my personality is ace and I'm loads of fun too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr here but everyone I meet in every day life say I'm punching "
Your lady other half is stunning so youve done really well no matter what you look like. I don't believe in punching above your weight, people fancy who they fancy, end of story. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Having blocked him, I have had a friend request! Do I give him another chance?
I think that's a glitch...
it is sent automatically when you block someone"
Yup I've had these too - just delete them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I did explain in a later post.
Mountain out of a mole hill"
Did say I was in an arsey mood...but there was a little more to it, I just put up the high-lights. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are chatting to someone, (not for very long) and all of a sudden they make a comment that they are sick of people not responding to messages, even well-thought out ones. They then go on to say that it isn't as if they are punching above their weight. How would you feel personally in that situation about their comment?
To be totally honest, if it was someone I'd only exchanged a few messages with, that comment would put me off them for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it reeks of entitlement. Secondly, it seems like they lack empathy (it doesn't take long being on fab to realise that the demographics are totally skewed and apply common sense to see things from the point of view of other people you may be messaging). Thirdly, it would make me think they're only talking to me because I fit with some arbitrary level of attractiveness they have come up with rather than me as an individual."
This is it exactly, I got the impression that he'd messaged me because he felt that I was "below" him in the "attractiveness stakes" and therefore I ought to be grateful that he was considering me for a meet!
And yes, you can block someone and they can still send you a friend request. DO not ask me how that works, but it has happened before. |
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I have met men in the past who complain that they don't get any messages on here, makes me think they are only meeting me because they couldn't get anyone else. I hardly ever get messages from men I really want to meet myself but I wouldn't bother to mention it to someone I was meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No such thing.....all people meet according to their tastes...not their own perceived level of attractiveness.
Over the years I have had fun, often repeated, with ladies that it would be very easy to consider as "out of my league" etc. luckily I have never seen it that way.
Sadly there are others that may do! |
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By *pal2Man
over a year ago
cumbria |
I would say that the ratio of men to women on here is very much in womens favour and that women on here can be choosier than meeting in person in a normal social situation.
Not sure what my weight is but its probably easier to message on here rather than to go out and find a sex crazed woman |
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