FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Men against social meets
Men against social meets
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 but, each to their own  | |||
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"However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required" Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind. | |||
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"Since I've been using the forums, I've noticed some men complain about women or couples requiring a social meet prior to sex, on the basis that this is not a dating site. This is not something we have personally come across, as we have specifically sought out men who share our more 'friendship' based approach to swinging. And besides, when meet a man for a social it always develops to sex anyway, and preferably the same night! However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required. I wondered why that was. Surely if there is a choice between an hour or so in the pub followed by a high chance of sex, or staying at home with zero chance of sex, it would be more productive to turn the charm on a put a bit of effort towards having some fun. Are there any women or couples who have been rejected because a social was requested first? What do the guys think?" It's not just men that won't do socials .... We wouldn't dream of it either . Many the time we have turned people down on the basis that there has to be a social first . | |||
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"meeting for a social isn't even dating, don't know why guys think that. dating is meeting with a prior idea that you might form a committed relationship with each other, used to be anyway - nowadays seems everyone just goes along with shit to get what they want out of that person. it's usually for our safety and to check the person out before committing to sex with them. more guys need to get that. " | |||
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"I actually don't like meeting strangers odd as it sounds. I like to make friends even just messaging. We want quality over quantity and men who will meet in a club get pushed up the list! To us this is about lifestyle friendship and fun... Who else goes on a night out with friends meal drinks then all end up in bed together.. bonus! "That is so cool, and is exactly why we chose this lifestyle - nothing better than having great friends that you can shag! Even better to have normal drinks party with friends and end up having sex. Mmm | |||
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"However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind." That's crazy. Those guys probably spent the night in masterbating, when they could have had a meet with likely fun after! | |||
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"meeting for a social isn't even dating, don't know why guys think that. dating is meeting with a prior idea that you might form a committed relationship with each other, used to be anyway - nowadays seems everyone just goes along with shit to get what they want out of that person. it's usually for our safety and to check the person out before committing to sex with them. more guys need to get that. " Stick to your guns. Insist on a social.they can be fun ..x x | |||
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"its all horses for courses isn't it... for me there has to be a bit of an attraction before I can jump into bed with someone so I would prefer to have a social first and the best place to have one is usually a pub or a café...but although such meets usually result in sex there have been a couple of occasions when I have said 'sorry not for me' and walked away... maybe if I was single instead of a single mum I would be less inclined to spend my time drinking coffee with strangers, and be more inclined to dragging them back to mine for a quickie
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"However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind. That's crazy. Those guys probably spent the night in masterbating, when they could have had a meet with likely fun after!" Yup. I figured either they were married and worried about being seen or didn't want to be seen out with a fat woman. No meet in public first = no meet with me. | |||
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"I think there's also an element of safety to be considered." The last guy who refused to meet me in public told me as he was well verified I didn't have to be concerned about my safety! If I'd known others who had met him, maybe, but I didn't know any of the people who had apparently verified him. | |||
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"No problem on my behalf of a social, find it best for both parties. There has to be something to connect and a spark that makes it go further, also I'm not photogenic so seeing me is better than the pics haha. " This for me too. Especially about the pic. I want them to see me in person and we can both decide if we still want to fuck.
I meet for just a coffee and a chat then arrange a sex meet if we get on. I've had men say they won't meet for just a social. I don't meet them because we're not compatible. | |||
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"I actually don't like meeting strangers odd as it sounds. I like to make friends even just messaging. We want quality over quantity and men who will meet in a club get pushed up the list! To us this is about lifestyle friendship and fun... Who else goes on a night out with friends meal drinks then all end up in bed together.. bonus!
That is so cool, and is exactly why we chose this lifestyle - nothing better than having great friends that you can shag! Even better to have normal drinks party with friends and end up having sex. Mmm" | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. " Then I'm a fool. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. " To be honest that's what a social is for me If I meet a guy for a drink and we get on I'm going to fuck him that night
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"Since I've been using the forums, I've noticed some men complain about women or couples requiring a social meet prior to sex, on the basis that this is not a dating site. This is not something we have personally come across, as we have specifically sought out men who share our more 'friendship' based approach to swinging. And besides, when meet a man for a social it always develops to sex anyway, and preferably the same night! However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required. I wondered why that was. Surely if there is a choice between an hour or so in the pub followed by a high chance of sex, or staying at home with zero chance of sex, it would be more productive to turn the charm on a put a bit of effort towards having some fun. Are there any women or couples who have been rejected because a social was requested first? What do the guys think? It's not just men that won't do socials .... We wouldn't dream of it either . Many the time we have turned people down on the basis that there has to be a social first . "Yea the social we had with you was rubbish. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. To be honest that's what a social is for me If I meet a guy for a drink and we get on I'm going to fuck him that night
"yeah that's how I think it should be it is not like the tv show 'first dates' for swingers. | |||
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"I just like to meet in public for a drink and a chat Mainly because I'm a single woman and I don't really like the idea of just turning up to some strangers house or hotel room, I like to see them and make sure they are who they said they were and have a chat to see if we get along, I find a thanks but no thanks easier in a public place than in a hotel room alone with somebody Believe me I'm not after a date, the chances are I wont even speak to you again after we have fucked but I don't think putting my safety first is to much to ask and I also don't see having a drink to see if we want to fuck a date, some people have a weird idea of what a date is "Well said | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... "do people organize socials for a free cup of coffee? Id just stay at home and put the kettle on i can afford my own cup of coffee | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... do people organize socials for a free cup of coffee? Id just stay at home and put the kettle on i can afford my own cup of coffee"I feel like if you are inviting me out for drink you should buy the first round. I feel like if it's the woman or couple that suggest the social they should pay for the first round  | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. " You're not a 'he'. | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... "I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to. I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will. Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee. Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway. 
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too. | |||
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"Im always happy to travel half way for socials I never expect anything No sex on a social. If we decide we like each other they can then come here and shag. I have no interest in someone who just wants to come straight here" But why should you, its your home, why should you just hand your address out to a total stranger on a sex site, could be a nutter just out of jail for assaulting his last meet for all you know, and you've just given him your address I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. To be honest that's what a social is for me If I meet a guy for a drink and we get on I'm going to fuck him that night
"I don't always but my last several socials have led to same night sex. Sometimes people want to schedule socials in their lunch break or something and arrange a meet for a later date. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'." Ok....So why is it different for guys then? | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... do people organize socials for a free cup of coffee? Id just stay at home and put the kettle on i can afford my own cup of coffee
I feel like if you are inviting me out for drink you should buy the first round. I feel like if it's the woman or couple that suggest the social they should pay for the first round "to be honest i dont take much notice i like to get there first and chose a seat get my coffee usually they say do you want another and i dont but then if i want another i will ask them. I really couldnt be arsed to worry about whose paying £2 for a cup of coffee im lucky things havent got that bad yet | |||
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"Im always happy to travel half way for socials I never expect anything No sex on a social. If we decide we like each other they can then come here and shag. I have no interest in someone who just wants to come straight here But why should you, its your home, why should you just hand your address out to a total stranger on a sex site, could be a nutter just out of jail for assaulting his last meet for all you know, and you've just given him your address I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first " yes I would and I think most will aswell, its just when they suggest going for dinner or staying at a fancy hotel expecting the man to pay for everything and some mugs will do on here. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then?" Good question | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first" THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink | |||
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"Im always happy to travel half way for socials I never expect anything No sex on a social. If we decide we like each other they can then come here and shag. I have no interest in someone who just wants to come straight here But why should you, its your home, why should you just hand your address out to a total stranger on a sex site, could be a nutter just out of jail for assaulting his last meet for all you know, and you've just given him your address I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first yes I would and I think most will aswell, its just when they suggest going for dinner or staying at a fancy hotel expecting the man to pay for everything and some mugs will do on here. " Yeah but that's totally different to wanting a social Some women are users I grant you that but that's a different thread | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too."Please forgive me ... You are the exception not the rule. When on a social I usually have to buy the first round.... I didn't want coffee nor a drink. I would have been fine meeting at the kebab shop without eating or drinking anything. This is a sex site , not dating site. | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink "I know it's laughable | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then? Good question " I just think that guys get really unfair treatment on here. A bit further up _ee viante commented that she didn't want to be lumped with those out for a free meal (or words to that effect) likewise, why should a guy that doesn't want a social be lumped with "guys who just want a quick fuck with the first person that comes along"? | |||
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"Im always happy to travel half way for socials I never expect anything No sex on a social. If we decide we like each other they can then come here and shag. I have no interest in someone who just wants to come straight here But why should you, its your home, why should you just hand your address out to a total stranger on a sex site, could be a nutter just out of jail for assaulting his last meet for all you know, and you've just given him your address I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first " and equally i could be the nutter they dont know whats the other side of that front door | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink "You can go out by yourself and get bought free drinks anyway, just for chatting to guys who were out as well and they don't even expect sex. I don't expect the drinks, it's just they offer and i say thanks and take it. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then? Good question I just think that guys get really unfair treatment on here. A bit further up _ee viante commented that she didn't want to be lumped with those out for a free meal (or words to that effect) likewise, why should a guy that doesn't want a social be lumped with "guys who just want a quick fuck with the first person that comes along"? " It's the forum party line. The forum whips ensure the status quo. | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too.
Please forgive me ... You are the exception not the rule. When on a social I usually have to buy the first round.... I didn't want coffee nor a drink. I would have been fine meeting at the kebab shop without eating or drinking anything. This is a sex site , not dating site. "What a heap of shit! You might just as well meet on a street corner, if that is the case....oh wait, that is another thing altogether isn't it! Plus you'd be paying for more than just a drink | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too.
Please forgive me ... You are the exception not the rule. When on a social I usually have to buy the first round.... I didn't want coffee nor a drink. I would have been fine meeting at the kebab shop without eating or drinking anything. This is a sex site , not dating site. "well dont meet people that want a coffee then. Meet in the park or somewhere. | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too.
Please forgive me ... You are the exception not the rule. When on a social I usually have to buy the first round.... I didn't want coffee nor a drink. I would have been fine meeting at the kebab shop without eating or drinking anything. This is a sex site , not dating site. "Having a coffee with someone whilst you determine whether you feel comfortable and if you want to fuck someone is not a date. I'm really glad I'm not dating anyone with the ideas some of the guys on here have about what a date is! Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority. | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... "I don't know what other women do, but I certainly don't go round begging for freebies and giving nothing in return. When we meet a guy for a social, it is always mutually agreed, as opposed to us asking him. He will usually buy a round, and my husband will usually buy a round. If we gonna be really politically correct I guess I should buy a round too. But it first really matter, because later that night we have a fabulous threesome, and everybody goes home happy. The way we do things is not for everybody, but we're having fun, and I certainly don't think the guys we play with feel shortchanged because they had to buy a round of drinks. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then? Good question I just think that guys get really unfair treatment on here. A bit further up _ee viante commented that she didn't want to be lumped with those out for a free meal (or words to that effect) likewise, why should a guy that doesn't want a social be lumped with "guys who just want a quick fuck with the first person that comes along"? " I don't do that though. Socials are for my safety and to give both of us a chance to say 'actually you're not my type' in a neutral setting where the other is less likely to kick off. I don't think a guy who doesn't want a social wants to fuck anything, I just think he doesn't care if I feel safe and comfortable and that we're not suited to one another. | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then?" I don't know. I do do socials. | |||
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"If someone suggests dinner or a fancy hotel there is always the option of saying no. Women don't have the power to abuse anything on here if they're not given it. If a guy thinks it's worth the cost of dinner or a hotel to meet a particular woman, that's up to him. He has a choice the same as everyone else." Have you ever gone down to the village in the valley to visit the little people? Or do you just stay on top of the mountain and look down and spit on people? Try being a single guy for a few weeks on Fab. Before you say just say no ..... It's not that easy. We don't have 500 messages daily and most messages we send are unread and deleted. So if a couple says meet us socially at the Savoy or Dorchester buy us drinks and if we get on . I might play with you. Many guys will. Look at the first page of Hot Pics most girls are advertising for party's. Do you know guys are paying to go to these party's and gangbang's? I'm not beating up on you , but it's hard out here for single guys. Especially if you don't have much discretionary money to spend.  | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
You can go out by yourself and get bought free drinks anyway, just for chatting to guys who were out as well and they don't even expect sex. I don't expect the drinks, it's just they offer and i say thanks and take it."Exactly! | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. Then I'm a fool. You're not a 'he'. Ok....So why is it different for guys then? Good question I just think that guys get really unfair treatment on here. A bit further up _ee viante commented that she didn't want to be lumped with those out for a free meal (or words to that effect) likewise, why should a guy that doesn't want a social be lumped with "guys who just want a quick fuck with the first person that comes along"? I don't do that though. Socials are for my safety and to give both of us a chance to say 'actually you're not my type' in a neutral setting where the other is less likely to kick off. I don't think a guy who doesn't want a social wants to fuck anything, I just think he doesn't care if I feel safe and comfortable and that we're not suited to one another." My comment wasn't directed at you btw...i was just musing around something you said that's all. And you're right. If someone doesn't want to meet the way you do then you aren't compatible....but my point is that a lot of the feeling seems to be that the guy is missing out because he doesn't want a social. No he isn't. He just isn't compatible. | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
You can go out by yourself and get bought free drinks anyway, just for chatting to guys who were out as well and they don't even expect sex. I don't expect the drinks, it's just they offer and i say thanks and take it.
Exactly!"And you can go where you want to without having to consider another persons wants or what they want to do for the night. Don't get why any woman would come online to arrange free drinks off someone, more hassle than it's worth. | |||
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" Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority." I agree i also think these women are in the minority You see such demands on a few profiles but you see a hell of a lot more without I've met many times and paid for the room myself I used to meet a guy who was unemployed and I'd pay for everything when we met I've also paid to go into clubs as a couple even though it would be free for me to go in alone It's not a problem for me If I meet a guy and he offers me a drink I'm going to accept, both going to the bar and ordering your own drinks to prove your not after a freebie would be stupid, but I'm equally happy to offer a drink If guys really think the majority of women here are free loaders I have to wonder why they are here | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too.
Please forgive me ... You are the exception not the rule. When on a social I usually have to buy the first round.... I didn't want coffee nor a drink. I would have been fine meeting at the kebab shop without eating or drinking anything. This is a sex site , not dating site.
Having a coffee with someone whilst you determine whether you feel comfortable and if you want to fuck someone is not a date.
I'm really glad I'm not dating anyone with the ideas some of the guys on here have about what a date is!
Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority."
I've been on (what I thought were) dates that basically we're just that.
Hence the return to fab. If that's what's out there I might as well know they at least want to play a certain way | |||
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"If someone suggests dinner or a fancy hotel there is always the option of saying no. Women don't have the power to abuse anything on here if they're not given it. If a guy thinks it's worth the cost of dinner or a hotel to meet a particular woman, that's up to him. He has a choice the same as everyone else. Have you ever gone down to the village in the valley to visit the little people? Or do you just stay on top of the mountain and look down and spit on people? Try being a single guy for a few weeks on Fab. Before you say just say no ..... It's not that easy. We don't have 500 messages daily and most messages we send are unread and deleted. So if a couple says meet us socially at the Savoy or Dorchester buy us drinks and if we get on . I might play with you. Many guys will. Look at the first page of Hot Pics most girls are advertising for party's. Do you know guys are paying to go to these party's and gangbang's? I'm not beating up on you , but it's hard out here for single guys. Especially if you don't have much discretionary money to spend. "Sure, many guys will but it's their choice. It's only hard for guys because they HAVE to get their dicks wet and can't cope with the idea of waiting if it means going without for a bit. Yes, I get quite a few messages but very few are what I'm looking for. So I say no and I wait for what I want and I go without sex in the meantime. I've gone months and, on a couple of occasions, years without sex. It didn't kill me and it certainly didn't make me willing to book the Dorchester, even when I could afford it. Don't want to do something? Don't do it. If you chose to do it because it's a better alternative than not getting sex, man up and admit it's your choice. | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
I know it's laughable "And I would imagine most guys would put time and effort into getting ready...... From the comments I read on here, it's almost as though the guys are expected to prove they are good enough. If the ratio of males to females was the same not so much pressure would be on guys to be performing seals. | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
I know it's laughable
And I would imagine most guys would put time and effort into getting ready......
From the comments I read on here, it's almost as though the guys are expected to prove they are good enough.
If the ratio of males to females was the same not so much pressure would be on guys to be performing seals." | |||
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" Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority. I agree i also think these women are in the minority You see such demands on a few profiles but you see a hell of a lot more without I've met many times and paid for the room myself I used to meet a guy who was unemployed and I'd pay for everything when we met I've also paid to go into clubs as a couple even though it would be free for me to go in alone It's not a problem for me If I meet a guy and he offers me a drink I'm going to accept, both going to the bar and ordering your own drinks to prove your not after a freebie would be stupid, but I'm equally happy to offer a drink If guys really think the majority of women here are free loaders I have to wonder why they are here " Trust me when I say this... You are not the norm on Fab.... What you just wrote almost bought a tear to my eye.  | |||
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"If someone suggests dinner or a fancy hotel there is always the option of saying no. Women don't have the power to abuse anything on here if they're not given it. If a guy thinks it's worth the cost of dinner or a hotel to meet a particular woman, that's up to him. He has a choice the same as everyone else. Have you ever gone down to the village in the valley to visit the little people? Or do you just stay on top of the mountain and look down and spit on people? Try being a single guy for a few weeks on Fab. Before you say just say no ..... It's not that easy. We don't have 500 messages daily and most messages we send are unread and deleted. So if a couple says meet us socially at the Savoy or Dorchester buy us drinks and if we get on . I might play with you. Many guys will. Look at the first page of Hot Pics most girls are advertising for party's. Do you know guys are paying to go to these party's and gangbang's? I'm not beating up on you , but it's hard out here for single guys. Especially if you don't have much discretionary money to spend.
Sure, many guys will but it's their choice.
It's only hard for guys because they HAVE to get their dicks wet and can't cope with the idea of waiting if it means going without for a bit.
Yes, I get quite a few messages but very few are what I'm looking for. So I say no and I wait for what I want and I go without sex in the meantime.
I've gone months and, on a couple of occasions, years without sex. It didn't kill me and it certainly didn't make me willing to book the Dorchester, even when I could afford it.
Don't want to do something? Don't do it. If you chose to do it because it's a better alternative than not getting sex, man up and admit it's your choice."
Not bad , you didn't get upset.. You can have your thread back | |||
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" Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority. I agree i also think these women are in the minority You see such demands on a few profiles but you see a hell of a lot more without I've met many times and paid for the room myself I used to meet a guy who was unemployed and I'd pay for everything when we met I've also paid to go into clubs as a couple even though it would be free for me to go in alone It's not a problem for me If I meet a guy and he offers me a drink I'm going to accept, both going to the bar and ordering your own drinks to prove your not after a freebie would be stupid, but I'm equally happy to offer a drink If guys really think the majority of women here are free loaders I have to wonder why they are here Trust me when I say this... You are not the norm on Fab.... What you just wrote almost bought a tear to my eye. "Shut up | |||
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"Since I've been using the forums, I've noticed some men complain about women or couples requiring a social meet prior to sex, on the basis that this is not a dating site. This is not something we have personally come across, as we have specifically sought out men who share our more 'friendship' based approach to swinging. And besides, when meet a man for a social it always develops to sex anyway, and preferably the same night! However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required. I wondered why that was. Surely if there is a choice between an hour or so in the pub followed by a high chance of sex, or staying at home with zero chance of sex, it would be more productive to turn the charm on a put a bit of effort towards having some fun. Are there any women or couples who have been rejected because a social was requested first? What do the guys think?" I prefer social meetings in public I have a fab buddy now and we meet people together so much better than just meeting men in private on my own. | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
I know it's laughable
And I would imagine most guys would put time and effort into getting ready......
From the comments I read on here, it's almost as though the guys are expected to prove they are good enough.
If the ratio of males to females was the same not so much pressure would be on guys to be performing seals."That's not the point at all. We, I, am being accused of wanting to meet for a social in a public place because I'm scrounging for a free drink. Given the time of getting ready and the time and cost of getting there, why would I bother for a free Pepsi or coffee? I can stay at home and drink my own coffee or Pepsi more cheaply and easily! I'm not going to get dressed up and go out just to score a free drink. Plus, as pointed out, regular guys in bars would be just as likely to buy me drinks if that was what I was after. The day I "abuse my power" and use the offer of potential sex to scrounge a free cup of coffee...well, I don't quite know what I'd do if I ever reached quite such a pathetic point in life. Y'know I've had socials in the past where I bought the guy a pint and he ended up messing me about and not meeting me. I expect he was just leading me on to get a free pint, right? | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
I know it's laughable
And I would imagine most guys would put time and effort into getting ready......
From the comments I read on here, it's almost as though the guys are expected to prove they are good enough.
If the ratio of males to females was the same not so much pressure would be on guys to be performing seals.
That's not the point at all.
We, I, am being accused of wanting to meet for a social in a public place because I'm scrounging for a free drink.
Given the time of getting ready and the time and cost of getting there, why would I bother for a free Pepsi or coffee?
I can stay at home and drink my own coffee or Pepsi more cheaply and easily!
I'm not going to get dressed up and go out just to score a free drink. Plus, as pointed out, regular guys in bars would be just as likely to buy me drinks if that was what I was after.
The day I "abuse my power" and use the offer of potential sex to scrounge a free cup of coffee...well, I don't quite know what I'd do if I ever reached quite such a pathetic point in life.
Y'know I've had socials in the past where I bought the guy a pint and he ended up messing me about and not meeting me. I expect he was just leading me on to get a free pint, right?"I think the problem is guys read these divas profiles who want this, you must that, I expect this and you will say how high if I say jump (yes we are awear some women are like this) and they think all women are the same So as soon as a woman says the word social they think.....oh here we go another princess out for what she can get When in reality we just want a flipping drink and chat to see if we like you I'll buy for crying out loud | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play.... "If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play....
If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone
If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples "If I was a couple I'd feel the same that should have said | |||
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"I think any man with any worth wouldn't mind putting a single woman at ease by meeting her in public first THIS! Without any bollocks about expecting the woman to buy the guy a drink to prove she's not after a freebie herself! As if I'd get dressed up and go out to meet someone just to scrounge a free drink
I know it's laughable
And I would imagine most guys would put time and effort into getting ready......
From the comments I read on here, it's almost as though the guys are expected to prove they are good enough.
If the ratio of males to females was the same not so much pressure would be on guys to be performing seals.
That's not the point at all.
We, I, am being accused of wanting to meet for a social in a public place because I'm scrounging for a free drink.
Given the time of getting ready and the time and cost of getting there, why would I bother for a free Pepsi or coffee?
I can stay at home and drink my own coffee or Pepsi more cheaply and easily!
I'm not going to get dressed up and go out just to score a free drink. Plus, as pointed out, regular guys in bars would be just as likely to buy me drinks if that was what I was after.
The day I "abuse my power" and use the offer of potential sex to scrounge a free cup of coffee...well, I don't quite know what I'd do if I ever reached quite such a pathetic point in life.
Y'know I've had socials in the past where I bought the guy a pint and he ended up messing me about and not meeting me. I expect he was just leading me on to get a free pint, right?
I think the problem is guys read these divas profiles who want this, you must that, I expect this and you will say how high if I say jump (yes we are awear some women are like this) and they think all women are the same
So as soon as a woman says the word social they think.....oh here we go another princess out for what she can get
When in reality we just want a flipping drink and chat to see if we like you
I'll buy for crying out loud " | |||
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"meeting for a social isn't even dating, don't know why guys think that. dating is meeting with a prior idea that you might form a committed relationship with each other, used to be anyway - nowadays seems everyone just goes along with shit to get what they want out of that person. it's usually for our safety and to check the person out before committing to sex with them. more guys need to get that. " Totally agree I think it's quite normal to ask for a social first nobody is saying it can't lead to more | |||
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"I just like to meet in public for a drink and a chat Mainly because I'm a single woman and I don't really like the idea of just turning up to some strangers house or hotel room, I like to see them and make sure they are who they said they were and have a chat to see if we get along, I find a thanks but no thanks easier in a public place than in a hotel room alone with somebody Believe me I'm not after a date, the chances are I wont even speak to you again after we have fucked but I don't think putting my safty first is to much to ask and I also don't see having a drink to see if we want to fuck a date, some people have a wierd idea of what a date is " | |||
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"If socials were called 'pre-fuck drinks' do you think more men would do them? Because, after all, many times, that's what they can turn out to be. More fool he who declines a social when trudging through Fabland. To be honest that's what a social is for me If I meet a guy for a drink and we get on I'm going to fuck him that night
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK.....
I've never had dinner as a social and the vast majority of the time I've bought my own drink. Sometimes I've bought the other person's drink too! On the occasions I haven't bought my own drink, I've always offered to.
I meet in a public place for my safety and to ensure I feel comfortable. I have never begged for anything from anyone on here, particularly not a bloody Pepsi or a coffee and I never will.
Meeting in public is not about being desperate for someone to buy me a cup of coffee.
Often the fuel or travel cost to get to the meet is more than a Pepsi or coffee anyway.
A few women may be spongers but I really object to being lumped in that category too." | |||
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"Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind." Same here, I only want a coffee. I'm not being a princess about it. | |||
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"However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind." ....we find chloroform helps. .. | |||
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"However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required Yes. I've been contacted by men who refused to meet me somewhere in public first. They all tried to change my mind." Avoid them then.....either something wrong with them.....or married and arranging a potential second meet would be too difficult? Tho as the OP said....I can only think of two social meets, in five n a half years on here, that hasn't turned to something more on the first meet. And that was down to me both times! | |||
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" Also, I don't think I am the exception. I think I'm the norm. I think women who expect gifts, dinner and expensive hotels are in the minority. I agree i also think these women are in the minority You see such demands on a few profiles but you see a hell of a lot more without I've met many times and paid for the room myself I used to meet a guy who was unemployed and I'd pay for everything when we met I've also paid to go into clubs as a couple even though it would be free for me to go in alone It's not a problem for me If I meet a guy and he offers me a drink I'm going to accept, both going to the bar and ordering your own drinks to prove your not after a freebie would be stupid, but I'm equally happy to offer a drink If guys really think the majority of women here are free loaders I have to wonder why they are here " | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user "But but but Surely that makes you a user | |||
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"I would say the vast majority of our conversations with single guys come to a premature end due to them not willing to meet for a social, prior to committing to any kind of play. Doesn't effect us overly much, just use it as a kind of 'arrogance filter'." It's not arrogance... Maybe he can't be seen in public with you guys. Some people like to be discreet | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user "No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte.. Now how is that different from what women do? | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do? "I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
"yes but by hanging around you might give false hope to the men. | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
yes but by hanging around you might give false hope to the men. "That's why I said so long as he understood it wasn't going any further Just as not all women on here are dick head nor are all men and it is possible for two adult after they have decided its not going any further to have another drink or two together I know it's possible because I've done it
If he wasn't the type of guy who could take a rejection and still have a drink them he's free to leave
It wouldn't bother me if a guy turned me down, I wouldn't flounce out I'd still have a drink
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
"After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
"I met a guy once who even though I said it was a drink and see how it goes still booked a hotel room When I turned him down he insisted I gave him the money back for the room because I was a time waster I refused basically because I never told him I would shag him and I never said to book a room so why should I? When I left he followed me out the pub and pinned me up against the wall demanding his money, which I gave him because basically a few quid for a room wasn't worth getting beat up for I don't think all men are like that though just because I met Alice the goons evil twin | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
I met a guy once who even though I said it was a drink and see how it goes still booked a hotel room
When I turned him down he insisted I gave him the money back for the room because I was a time waster
I refused basically because I never told him I would shag him and I never said to book a room so why should I?
When I left he followed me out the pub and pinned me up against the wall demanding his money, which I gave him because basically a few quid for a room wasn't worth getting beat up for
I don't think all men are like that though just because I met Alice the goons evil twin "Thats awful bet you were scared naughty did you report him | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
yes but by hanging around you might give false hope to the men.
That's why I said so long as he understood it wasn't going any further
Just as not all women on here are dick head nor are all men and it is possible for two adult after they have decided its not going any further to have another drink or two together
I know it's possible because I've done it
If he wasn't the type of guy who could take a rejection and still have a drink them he's free to leave
It wouldn't bother me if a guy turned me down, I wouldn't flounce out I'd still have a drink
Suppose it depends what type of person you are "see I don't see the point in that why waste your time more unless you are friend zoning them which I doubt. If I met for a social and wasn't happy after 1 drink I would make excuses and leave immediately. | |||
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"see I don't see the point in that why waste your time more unless you are friend zoning them which I doubt. If I met for a social and wasn't happy after 1 drink I would make excuses and leave immediately." because i dont see it as a waste of time im out anyway, if i did a runner i'd only go home to sit alone or i could stay as im out anyway and have a drink but as i said so long as it was understood it was just a drink we are all different and we do what suits us i guess | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play....
If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone
If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples
If I was a couple I'd feel the same that should have said "Totally understand what you are,saying and get where you are,coming from, we have some regular single ladies we,play with and we've met them at clubs and parties first, played that night or another, we just wouldn't do a stand alone social meet (with no opportunity to play) eg meet for a coffee, drink in a bar then pop off home to consider if we wanted to play, we've met people on bars then gone off and played etc..... | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
"why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play....
If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone
If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples
If I was a couple I'd feel the same that should have said
Totally understand what you are,saying and get where you are,coming from, we have some regular single ladies we,play with and we've met them at clubs and parties first, played that night or another, we just wouldn't do a stand alone social meet (with no opportunity to play) eg meet for a coffee, drink in a bar then pop off home to consider if we wanted to play, we've met people on bars then gone off and played etc....."oh no nor do i i only do one off meets so if i dont shag you first meet the chances are its not going to happen when i say social meet i mean meet in a pub or wherever, have a drink and a chat and if we get along book a hotel or whatever
if ive got ready, arranged to meet someone, spend time drinking and chatting and it obvious we both like each other i want them now not three weeks on wednesday
if i met a guy and he left saying nice to meet you i'll mail you later id take that as a polite no thanks
i just would not go straight to somebodies home or hotel room if i had never met them before
a social meet is how long you make it, some make a night of it then go home, some have a couple of drinks and go for a shag, my idea of a social meet is the later | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play....
If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone
If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples
If I was a couple I'd feel the same that should have said
Totally understand what you are,saying and get where you are,coming from, we have some regular single ladies we,play with and we've met them at clubs and parties first, played that night or another, we just wouldn't do a stand alone social meet (with no opportunity to play) eg meet for a coffee, drink in a bar then pop off home to consider if we wanted to play, we've met people on bars then gone off and played etc.....
oh no nor do i
i only do one off meets so if i dont shag you first meet the chances are its not going to happen
when i say social meet i mean meet in a pub or wherever, have a drink and a chat and if we get along book a hotel or whatever
if ive got ready, arranged to meet someone, spend time drinking and chatting and it obvious we both like each other i want them now not three weeks on wednesday
if i met a guy and he left saying nice to meet you i'll mail you later id take that as a polite no thanks
i just would not go straight to somebodies home or hotel room if i had never met them before
a social meet is how long you make it, some make a night of it then go home, some have a couple of drinks and go for a shag, my idea of a social meet is the later "Singing off the same page then yes I think many get confused about what a social is! Including us,
Frankly we won't meet for a social only with no chance to play, of course we are happy to meet on a bar and if all into each other go off and play, we don't consider that a social we consider that a meet!
Never ever understood why people would meet for a social only, after all if you meet people, click and don't want to rip each other clothes off, ravish each other and be naughty, right there and then we doubt you would a few days later......
So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play...... | |||
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" So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play......" i think somebody earlier called it pre shag drinks | |||
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"Well u specifically state this on my profile. It's not really aimed at couples though. I have no problem meeting for a drink but I'm not going for fancy dinners or to cinema etc. I think some single lady's may try to abuse their power on here expecting free meals or whatever and for NSA I don't like the idea of getting too involved especially if they have a husband aswell I think they should do the romantic things. For me it keeps my mindset clear. Some women get very attached easily an seem to confuse this site with match.com I am a 'fucker' not a dater." | |||
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"No social only first meets for us and we have turned down loads of people who wanted a social first, for us you never know how you will click when you play anyway, so if there is an attraction, get on and play....
If I had a couple of feel the same but you have each other for support there's no way I'm turning up to a guys house I've never met before alone
If people can't understand that they best stick to meeting couples
If I was a couple I'd feel the same that should have said
Totally understand what you are,saying and get where you are,coming from, we have some regular single ladies we,play with and we've met them at clubs and parties first, played that night or another, we just wouldn't do a stand alone social meet (with no opportunity to play) eg meet for a coffee, drink in a bar then pop off home to consider if we wanted to play, we've met people on bars then gone off and played etc.....
oh no nor do i
i only do one off meets so if i dont shag you first meet the chances are its not going to happen
when i say social meet i mean meet in a pub or wherever, have a drink and a chat and if we get along book a hotel or whatever
if ive got ready, arranged to meet someone, spend time drinking and chatting and it obvious we both like each other i want them now not three weeks on wednesday
if i met a guy and he left saying nice to meet you i'll mail you later id take that as a polite no thanks
i just would not go straight to somebodies home or hotel room if i had never met them before
a social meet is how long you make it, some make a night of it then go home, some have a couple of drinks and go for a shag, my idea of a social meet is the later
Singing off the same page then yes I think many get confused about what a social is! Including us,
Frankly we won't meet for a social only with no chance to play, of course we are happy to meet on a bar and if all into each other go off and play, we don't consider that a social we consider that a meet!
Never ever understood why people would meet for a social only, after all if you meet people, click and don't want to rip each other clothes off, ravish each other and be naughty, right there and then we doubt you would a few days later......
So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play......"I think this is fine if you've got somewhere to go to play but a lot of times neither party can accommodate and I'm not booking a hotel for someone I've never met before as I don't know for sure until I meet them whether I want to shag them so I will always have a social first. | |||
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" So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play...... i think somebody earlier called it pre shag drinks " xx | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets"It's slim pickings in NYC, plus I'm a classy guy . You can't have brunch with mamosa's | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets
It's slim pickings in NYC, plus I'm a classy guy . You can't have brunch with mamosa's "oh well more fool you. Some people have class and some dont whether buying champagne or coffee. Arguing over who buys a cup of coffee isnt what id call classy | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets
It's slim pickings in NYC, plus I'm a classy guy . You can't have brunch with mamosa's oh well more fool you. Some people have class and some dont whether buying champagne or coffee. Arguing over who buys a cup of coffee isnt what id call classy"Ohh I never argue.. I just won't pay for anything and show up late. If I invite you to a social I pay .. If you invite me to a social you pay.. I hope you don't ask your friends out to dinner, then expect them to pay half the bill? Class is very subjective, manners that's a whole different topic  | |||
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"The trouble with a social is that the wife or girlfriend might get to hear you are in the pub with a strange woman/couple and not where you said you'd be" This | |||
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"The trouble with a social is that the wife or girlfriend might get to hear you are in the pub with a strange woman/couple and not where you said you'd be This " | |||
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" So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play...... i think somebody earlier called it pre shag drinks "Yeah, I don't like to do that - if I do a social it's a social, it's to make sure there is chemistry, and if there is I will meet again for more.  | |||
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" So in conclusion we are happy to meet for a social with the option to play...... i think somebody earlier called it pre shag drinks
Yeah, I don't like to do that - if I do a social it's a social, it's to make sure there is chemistry, and if there is I will meet again for more. "Has there every been a time that you had a great social and for whatever reason you couldn't meet in the future for more ? | |||
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"Since I've been using the forums, I've noticed some men complain about women or couples requiring a social meet prior to sex, on the basis that this is not a dating site. This is not something we have personally come across, as we have specifically sought out men who share our more 'friendship' based approach to swinging. And besides, when meet a man for a social it always develops to sex anyway, and preferably the same night! However, something was said to me on the forums that made me wonder if some men would refuse to meet if a social was required. I wondered why that was. Surely if there is a choice between an hour or so in the pub followed by a high chance of sex, or staying at home with zero chance of sex, it would be more productive to turn the charm on a put a bit of effort towards having some fun. Are there any women or couples who have been rejected because a social was requested first? What do the guys think? It's not just men that won't do socials .... We wouldn't dream of it either . Many the time we have turned people down on the basis that there has to be a social first .
Yea the social we had with you was rubbish. "Pmsl ... I don't recall a social .... Ok we chatted for a bit first , but if that was a social I shudder to think what a play meet would entail !!! | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay. The way some people on this site are begging for free coffee , drinks , or to meet at a club . You would think they have shares in Costa , Starbucks , and swing clubs around the UK..... do people organize socials for a free cup of coffee? Id just stay at home and put the kettle on i can afford my own cup of coffee"As a single fem I agree with others in that its all about safery first. Secondly about seeing if we are physically and mentally attracted to each other I don't just fuck anyone. I have offered to pay for drinks and have travelled half / most of the way there sometimes its not about freebies but the above | |||
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"The next time a lady or couple suggest a social they must pay for all the drinks and food. It's funny they insist on a social but never offer to pay. If someone invites me to dinner I expect them to pay." If the guy gets the first round, I get the next one. You have a very combative attitude towards women. It's not attractive. | |||
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"I wouldn't meet someone who wasn't prepared to meet socially first as I couldn't be intimate with someone I wasn't attracted to. " Many who don't meet socially first also couldn't be intimate with someone they aren't attracted to. | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets
It's slim pickings in NYC, plus I'm a classy guy . You can't have brunch with mamosa's oh well more fool you. Some people have class and some dont whether buying champagne or coffee. Arguing over who buys a cup of coffee isnt what id call classy
Ohh I never argue.. I just won't pay for anything and show up late. If I invite you to a social I pay .. If you invite me to a social you pay..
I hope you don't ask your friends out to dinner, then expect them to pay half the bill?
Class is very subjective, manners that's a whole different topic "It does sound like you've had some women who use you for a free night out, and I'm sorry to hear that. However I don't quite understand your rule that the person doing the inviting must do the paying, even with regular friends. In vanilla life whenever I have gone out to dinner or lunch with a girlfriend we have always split the bill irrespective of who suggested getting together. In the swing scene, when we've made arrangements to meet someone, it never really been a case of us inviting him, or him inviting us. It's more been an equal free flowing conversation that results in us agreeing to meet. Modern day etiquette is vague on who should pay with regards to male versus female. Some people still believe in old fashioned chivalry, but for most people the starting point is always fifty fifty. When my husband meets his FB he will buy her dinner before they go to her hotel room for NSA sex. My experience is that the men we meet tends to buy the first round, but if we arrive first then we will get the first round in. We've met a couple of men who have insisted on buying dinner, so we make sure it's on us the next time. But if they have paid for a few extra drinks, it really doesn't matter, because by the end of the night we'll be fucking like rabbits. We did meet a few men prior to using Fab who didn't put their hand in their pocket the entire night. Maybe they had your _iew that we done the inviting so the onus was on us to pay. Or maybe they thought they were there to provide a service for a couple. Who knows, but we thought that was seriously bad manners, and it didn't go any further. | |||
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"Some people have 'odd' opinions. I am not an animal, you sniff my ass i sniff yours n we fuck. I want to talk to you whilst looking at your face to see if you are full of sh** beforehand. Personality turns me on and you cant get the real feel for a person via inbox chat. I understand people not wanting to be seen socialising with the opposite sex locally. My coffee date the other day couldnt grasp i was outside my local shopping centre where a lot of people could know me so no i didnt want a full on snog. A swift kiss goodbye was acceptable but not tongues for 5 minutes" That would put me off meeting him again. It's a good test, seeing how people behave in public. | |||
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"My next social meet I'm showing up late and there better be a pint or venti mocha latte when I arrive... If not I know the woman or couple is a user
But but but
Surely that makes you a user
No I'll buy the next round if I like you. If I don't like you , I'm out of there , hey at least I got a free latte..
Now how is that different from what women do?
I have nothing to say to that because I genuinely wouldn't do that, I know it's easy for me to say but I have more manner's than to turn up, expect a guy to buy me a drink and shoot as soon as I've d*unk it
At the very least I'd stay and have another drink, which I would insist on buying, if I didn't like him, I'd even stay and have a few drinks so long as he understood it was going any further
You seem to have a very dim _iew of women on here, quite sad really because some of us are decent human beings, honest
After my last social were Alice the goon showed up after I had ordered a bottle of champagne and appetizers. When I told her to leave .... She could have least offered to pay half the bill
That's why I'm so upset... She knew she misrepresented herself and demanded a social for safety... Safety my ass . She thought I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. So by insisting on the social, she thought she could get a free meal....
why did you order champagne? Sounds like your just bad at chosing meets
It's slim pickings in NYC, plus I'm a classy guy . You can't have brunch with mamosa's oh well more fool you. Some people have class and some dont whether buying champagne or coffee. Arguing over who buys a cup of coffee isnt what id call classy
Ohh I never argue.. I just won't pay for anything and show up late. If I invite you to a social I pay .. If you invite me to a social you pay..
I hope you don't ask your friends out to dinner, then expect them to pay half the bill?
Class is very subjective, manners that's a whole different topic "where not talking about friends and dinner where talking about having a coffee and turning up late to make sure you get your freebie is neither classy or good manners. Just cause you will buy champagne because its slim pickings doesnt mean everyone else is desperate. Someone turning up on time with a smile on their face i like is going to impress me far more than champagne. Compatability doesnt have a price tag | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
