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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There is a guy we see from time to time. It takes him a good hour and a hour to drive to see us, which we know he's not keen on, so as a result we don't see him as much as we would like. We would share the burden of travel, but he can't accommodate.
Never mind, we thought, a local guy will resolve this problem. And for the first time since we've been using Fab we decided to take matters into our own hands and did a local search. Because we live in the backside of nowhere, and hense need a car to get to our house, we put 'can travel' on our search requirements.
Got talking to a man in a major town about fifteen miles away. He too was unable to accommodate, but his profile said he could travel. And we really hit it off with him. Jackpot! We had finally found someone that we liked who lived not to far away. Then we started to arrange a social meet in view of progressing if we all clicked. Then the bombshell dropped - he didn't have a car. He suggested coming by bus, train etc, all of which are fairly impossible for late night visits when you live in a rural area. There was certainly no way he'd be able to get home afterwards.
I wondered why did this guy say on his profile that he could travel? I guess his view would be that he is capable of catching a train therefore he can travel. What do others think? By checking the 'can travel' box, does this mean you can travel to any destination within an acceptable distance, as with a car/motorbike? Or does it mean is able to catch a train or bus to the limited destinations that the train or bus goes to, but is unable to travel to any other destination?
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''Can travel?''
Erm? Has evolved! Can lift knuckles from ground and can place one foot in front of the other....
Not so good going down hill, momentum and inability to stop, results in them bypassing meets! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personal definition of can travel is locally by bus or train or car. Whichever is actually appropriate at the time. For longer distance just car. And I would probably travel up to two hours to a destination. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fair enough, if 'can travel' means not only car, but also public transport, then surely everybody on Fab will be checking that box, so it's not really possible to search for someone who genuinely can travel to where you live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I recon he could travel as you were talking to him, but then as you mentioned a social after a while in the chat, he wasnt as keen, socials are not for everyone so he just came up with an excuse, so it is not all his fault there.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I recon he could travel as you were talking to him, but then as you mentioned a social after a while in the chat, he wasnt as keen, socials are not for everyone so he just came up with an excuse, so it is not all his fault there.
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He mentioned meeting us for a drink. This was not our suggestion. It was us that would have suggested bringing him home with us, which is what we usually do after a social. Then we discovered that if we were to bring him home with us, he would not be able get back. So we had to tell him it wasn't possible with regards to where we live, even though we were only fifteen miles away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you like him that much could you not offer him a lift home afterwards? Not ideal but seems a shame not to meet if he is that close and you hit it off"
We thought about driving him home afterwards, but decided we didn't really want to get into that habit. We didn't regard it as a huge loss, more were surprised when we discovered that he didn't drive after stating on his profile that he could travel. I've realised now that a profile that says 'can travel' may only only mean public transport. It's the first time we've had this situation though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't drive and I have 'can travel' on my profile...
I have travelled over 200 miles for a meet via train, on more than one occasion, but obviously that involves an overnight stay in a hotel...so more than worth it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Imagine going dogging on the bus 
Why don't you just meet him at a hotel half way.
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Yes I guess if I was really that keen we could've booked a hotel, and hoped that he would pay half. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So what you're saying is if you can't accommodate and don't drive you shouldn't be on here? Does having a car mean you should travel anywhere in the UK? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So what you're saying is if you can't accommodate and don't drive you shouldn't be on here? Does having a car mean you should travel anywhere in the UK? "
No I'm certainly not saying that. Plenty of swinging opportunities available without having to use a car or your own accommodation.
I think having a car means being able to travel to any destination within a certain distance. What that distance is is up to the individual.
But I realise I was wrong to assume that someone who can travel means they can travel to where we live. We live in a rural area, and I need to be clearer about the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you like him that much could you not offer him a lift home afterwards? Not ideal but seems a shame not to meet if he is that close and you hit it off
We thought about driving him home afterwards, but decided we didn't really want to get into that habit. We didn't regard it as a huge loss, more were surprised when we discovered that he didn't drive after stating on his profile that he could travel. I've realised now that a profile that says 'can travel' may only only mean public transport. It's the first time we've had this situation though."
I'd never thought of it that way, I suppose it depends on where you live. I always thought it meant public transport/ taxi's, but I see what you mean about the issue with rural areas. |
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