FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Taking offence
Taking offence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do people feel the need to take offence to a polite rejection?
I don't block anyone and am happy to chat but im looking for something particular, however im contacted by people who just don't fit what im looking for and it's amazing how much a rejection can offend.
Surely it's ok to have both standards and certain 'likes'?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well it feels personal doesn't it, it's one person saying to another person, your not good enough, your not attractive enough. Implicitly it feels like some one is saying your ugly.
You said yourself that you have standards and it feels to the person that your rejecting that they don't meet those standards. It feels to that person that your saying your better than they are.
This isn't a plesent feeling, and can be difficult for some people to handle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well it feels personal doesn't it, it's one person saying to another person, your not good enough, your not attractive enough. Implicitly it feels like some one is saying your ugly.
You said yourself that you have standards and it feels to the person that your rejecting that they don't meet those standards. It feels to that person that your saying your better than they are.
This isn't a plesent feeling, and can be difficult for some people to handle. "
Yeah, I guess that's true. Ive had my fair share of rejection though, both on the site and IRL and don't take it personally. Not everyone is for everyone and its not about 'better' in my eyes. It's just preference. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?  "
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day. |
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By *KMaxMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
"A single male.... With standards.... How very dare you..
I'm not having that!!!!!!
  "
Could I just put myself out there aa someone with absolutely no standards who will shag all of you
(assuming you have low enough standards to shag me of course ) |
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By *KMaxMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
"A single male.... With standards.... How very dare you..
I'm not having that!!!!!!
"
Could I just put myself out there aa someone with absolutely no standards who will shag all of you
(assuming you have low enough standards to shag me of course ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day. "
Not denying people's right to choice. Infact choice is exactly what im saying.
Im not going to be attracted to every woman on this site. Just like every woman seeking a guy isn't going to be attracted to me. But I don't get my arse out when I get a "thanks but no thanks" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They block so not to waste yours or there time. Your not what there looking for. Simple
Read the OP again "
Thank you!
I did look for the face palm emoji  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If rejection offends your doing it wrong. Take what you learn from each rejection and evolve yourself to become less rejectable. I pride my self on my number of rejections because if they hadn't rejected me, I would have MRS S now. All good things and all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They block so not to waste yours or there time. Your not what there looking for. Simple
Read the OP again "
Im sure everyone as been rejected on here at some point. So just vice versa  |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day.
Not denying people's right to choice. Infact choice is exactly what im saying.
Im not going to be attracted to every woman on this site. Just like every woman seeking a guy isn't going to be attracted to me. But I don't get my arse out when I get a "thanks but no thanks" "
We have only had one nasty message to a thanks but no thanks it implied I was paid for sex.
Some ppl just can't handle rejection even when nicely put so go on the defensive then block.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You reject women . Maybe it's never happened to them before and they don't know how to handle rejection. "
He isn't the only one......I have a fair few on my block list now.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day.
Not denying people's right to choice. Infact choice is exactly what im saying.
Im not going to be attracted to every woman on this site. Just like every woman seeking a guy isn't going to be attracted to me. But I don't get my arse out when I get a "thanks but no thanks"
We have only had one nasty message to a thanks but no thanks it implied I was paid for sex.
Some ppl just can't handle rejection even when nicely put so go on the defensive then block.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. "
Im not worried and it doesn't bother me.
Im just curious why people feel the need and thought it would be a interesting discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day.
Not denying people's right to choice. Infact choice is exactly what im saying.
Im not going to be attracted to every woman on this site. Just like every woman seeking a guy isn't going to be attracted to me. But I don't get my arse out when I get a "thanks but no thanks"
We have only had one nasty message to a thanks but no thanks it implied I was paid for sex.
Some ppl just can't handle rejection even when nicely put so go on the defensive then block.
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Im not worried and it doesn't bother me.
Im just curious why people feel the need and thought it would be a interesting discussion. "
Dented egos. I'm going to assume massively here that most men take it on the chin,whereas most women don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it feels personal doesn't it, it's one person saying to another person, your not good enough, your not attractive enough. Implicitly it feels like some one is saying your ugly.
You said yourself that you have standards and it feels to the person that your rejecting that they don't meet those standards. It feels to that person that your saying your better than they are.
This isn't a plesent feeling, and can be difficult for some people to handle.
Yeah, I guess that's true. Ive had my fair share of rejection though, both on the site and IRL and don't take it personally. Not everyone is for everyone and its not about 'better' in my eyes. It's just preference. "
Well that's very grown up of you, unfortunately not everyone can be so mature, they may just constantly be rejected, or it might be a new experience for them. Either way it does to some people feel like they are being judged and are coming up short. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they approached in public would they get so het up throwing a tantrum if someone who rejected them, most wouldn't deal with things the way as they do online it seems to bring out the worst.
"
This is probably a big part of it. The Internet seems to turn people's filters off to an extent. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Because they can
True, but Id like to think most people wouldn't say yes to everything!?
Some ppl use blocking to filter ppl they wouldn't meet.
Most ppl wouldn't say yes to everything but some may do.
Individual choice at the end of the day.
Not denying people's right to choice. Infact choice is exactly what im saying.
Im not going to be attracted to every woman on this site. Just like every woman seeking a guy isn't going to be attracted to me. But I don't get my arse out when I get a "thanks but no thanks"
We have only had one nasty message to a thanks but no thanks it implied I was paid for sex.
Some ppl just can't handle rejection even when nicely put so go on the defensive then block.
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Im not worried and it doesn't bother me.
Im just curious why people feel the need and thought it would be a interesting discussion. "
I, we tend not to block we have one on our list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you reject them? What do you say?
Unfortunately many women and couples have massive egos from all the attention and they won't be able to understand that someone doesn't want to meet them. |
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I have found myself saying yes to things just so I don't hurt the other persons feelings.
Bit silly really but that's just me. Been on the sharp end of a no and yea it does hurt a little. you have to be objective about it though and not take it personally.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you reject them? What do you say?
Unfortunately many women and couples have massive egos from all the attention and they won't be able to understand that someone doesn't want to meet them. "
It depends on who they are and what they want. Im never nasty about it. Or as blunt as "thanks but no thanks" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you reject them? What do you say?
Unfortunately many women and couples have massive egos from all the attention and they won't be able to understand that someone doesn't want to meet them. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You reject women . Maybe it's never happened to them before and they don't know how to handle rejection.
Quality not quantity. "
Oh my days , I can't stand that saying ......   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people feel the need to take offence to a polite rejection?
I don't block anyone and am happy to chat but im looking for something particular, however im contacted by people who just don't fit what im looking for and it's amazing how much a rejection can offend.
Surely it's ok to have both standards and certain 'likes'?
"
You would think it was your choice eh lol i get all the hey sexy fancy a meet messages when i politely say no thanks I get the ur loss ur a fat cow anyway was just desperate messages lol i laugh it of and think wow what a narrow escape from meeting a dickhead lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They block so not to waste yours or there time. Your not what there looking for. Simple "
i think hes talking about people taking offence to him rejecting them |
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Im used to it so I expect it, most men who contact me aren't my type either.
its not just about looks for me as we have to like the same things.
some men expect you to change your mind and do things you don't like.
I block people so I remember who they are and don't contact them again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i mail men i tend not to even get a reply which i personally think is a better approach, its obvious if somebody does not reply they have no interest and it saves them thinking of what to say
A lot of people moan at no reply but i think its the easiest and simple way to give the impression your not interested
id sooner read nothing than be told 15 times a day your ugly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it feels personal doesn't it, it's one person saying to another person, your not good enough, your not attractive enough. Implicitly it feels like some one is saying your ugly.
You said yourself that you have standards and it feels to the person that your rejecting that they don't meet those standards. It feels to that person that your saying your better than they are.
This isn't a plesent feeling, and can be difficult for some people to handle. "
Blocking isn't necesarly a negative thing, it's useful to filter out people who in your local area who invariably keep popping up but you know you are not for them so what I do is to save visiting their profile again I just block it. It's not because I think they are ugly, fat, skinny, rude, nothing like that at all, just if I am not for them, no point wasting my time looking.
Hope that makes sense lol? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you reject them? What do you say?
Unfortunately many women and couples have massive egos from all the attention and they won't be able to understand that someone doesn't want to meet them.
It depends on who they are and what they want. Im never nasty about it. Or as blunt as "thanks but no thanks" "
Ah just ignore them then. Ego issues. |
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"when i mail men i tend not to even get a reply which i personally think is a better approach, its obvious if somebody does not reply they have no interest and it saves them thinking of what to say
A lot of people moan at no reply but i think its the easiest and simple way to give the impression your not interested
id sooner read nothing than be told 15 times a day your ugly "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you reject them? What do you say?
Unfortunately many women and couples have massive egos from all the attention and they won't be able to understand that someone doesn't want to meet them.
It depends on who they are and what they want. Im never nasty about it. Or as blunt as "thanks but no thanks"
Ah just ignore them then. Ego issues. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply with a no thank you and block them straight away, saves getting any kind of hassle back.
some people just cannot handle being rejected and that kind of abusive response behaviour is about them as a person nothing personal against you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find if I say " sorry you are too far away" they reply with stuff like"why it's only 25 miles" it's a hassle, a lot of the time I just delete or block. X |
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"Had it the other day after deleted a message! Told me I was missing the best fuck I'd ever have!!
Yeah yeah yeah lol "
we should all be able to take rejection without needing to throw the dummy out of the pram! |
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"Why do people feel the need to take offence to a polite rejection?
I don't block anyone and am happy to chat but im looking for something particular, however im contacted by people who just don't fit what im looking for and it's amazing how much a rejection can offend.
Surely it's ok to have both standards and certain 'likes'?
You would think it was your choice eh lol i get all the hey sexy fancy a meet messages when i politely say no thanks I get the ur loss ur a fat cow anyway was just desperate messages lol i laugh it of and think wow what a narrow escape from meeting a dickhead lol"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry I feel we all have choices and some people we take a shine to some we don't... I get rude guys taking offence too. But most guys are fine and accept we all have different tastes on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find if I say " sorry you are too far away" they reply with stuff like"why it's only 25 miles" it's a hassle, a lot of the time I just delete or block. X"
"Too far away" is my usual 'no thanks' response. I don't find it a hassle at all. If they reply saying "but you're only 2 miles away" I don't feel the need to reply again. Why keep the conversation going? |
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