FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Who the f we can call a SWINGER?!
Who the f we can call a SWINGER?!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I keep hearing (reading) 'well, people who do this...that....are not swingers...' 
But who is able to define word SWINGERS 
Obviously swapping partners as in the couple (according to the dictionary). No doubts about that.
BUT is it really?! What about:
1. Couple BUT they play separately (she in one week, he in next week...)
2. Couple BUT just ONE of them is plaint - the other one knows about it but is not interested in playing
3. Husband cheating on his wife (vice versa)
4. Singles playing with couples
5. Singles playing ONLY with singles
I'm sure there is much more 'combinations' but here are the ones I'm interested in...
But....who is able to answer that question?! Who's got a power to change meaning of word SWINGING?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I keep hearing (reading) 'well, people who do this...that....are not swingers...'
But who is able to define word SWINGERS
Obviously swapping partners as in the couple (according to the dictionary). No doubts about that.
BUT is it really?! What about:
1. Couple BUT they play separately (she in one week, he in next week...)
2. Couple BUT just ONE of them is plaint - the other one knows about it but is not interested in playing
3. Husband cheating on his wife (vice versa)
4. Singles playing with couples
5. Singles playing ONLY with singles
I'm sure there is much more 'combinations' but here are the ones I'm interested in...
But....who is able to answer that question?! Who's got a power to change meaning of word SWINGING? "
ALL of the above...with the exception of 3! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't suppose I'm a swinger but here I am. Come and get me. "
Exactly!!! This is my freaking point. But I honestly getting fed up with 'You're not a SWINGER you shouldn't be on this site....' 
Mind your own business people |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I don't suppose I'm a swinger but here I am. Come and get me.
Exactly!!! This is my freaking point. But I honestly getting fed up with 'You're not a SWINGER you shouldn't be on this site....'
Mind your own business people "
Imagine this wasn't a swingers site, but an LGBT community for example. If you weren't a member of that community do you think you would be welcome there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least."
I quite like that definition - and to me it makes sense! 
To me the biggie here is honesty! I'm single and fairly open about my sexual proclivities (hence I have lots of face pics!). Every partner I have, whether a couple, man or woman, knows that I am not exclusive to them - so there's no dishonesty involved and I'm hurting no-one! That's massively important to me - and why I never 'date' in the real world now - as many seem to be as promiscuous as any swinger but without the honesty!
If others say I'm not a swinger and call me something derogatory instead then that's fine - I'm the one who has to face myself in the mirror every day - so morally I answer only to me!
Sorry op - bit long winded!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't suppose I'm a swinger but here I am. Come and get me.
Exactly!!! This is my freaking point. But I honestly getting fed up with 'You're not a SWINGER you shouldn't be on this site....'
Mind your own business people
Imagine this wasn't a swingers site, but an LGBT community for example. If you weren't a member of that community do you think you would be welcome there? "
The definition of the word "community" is difficult because it has at least 3 potential sources;
1. It is self defined - People sign up - "I am a swinger"
2. It is defined by outsiders - "He is black, therefore he is a member of the black community"
3. It is defined by association/activity - I do therefore I am (I cycle, I am a cyclist)
The LGBT "community" are more than likely to welcome ANYONE into their fold, I am sure that they don't particularly care too much what you do in the privacy of your own home, as long as you are interested/ accepting of their lifestyle, why wouldn't they welcome you? I chat to all kinds of people on here and I don't think anyone has ever said; "I can't tae you to my local club, you aren't part of "our community".....
As for what a "proper swinger" is; it is and will always be, just a label; if you like labels and need to be defined, then dream up your own definition and use it; it is afterall a label you have given yourself.
There are many "sultans of swing" on the internet, many people to tell you that you are doing it wrong...... I think in the main they are just unhappy people.... you see when I say the words "swing" it makes me smile.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are lots of labels in the world of sex. Those people telling others that they aren't proper swingers feel like their turf has been invaded and want rid.
Fuck 'em. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
Well I class myself more of a sex addict than a swinger. I don't think I can answer any topic on swinging though or just love the sound of my own writing and post on threads that aren't relevant to me like some. I don't have that much experience yet but I'm getting there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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what you do and who you`re doing onhere is noones business but your own
you dont have to prove you swing to fit in
anyways id really rather not know what you are getting upto   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I keep hearing (reading) 'well, people who do this...that....are not swingers...BUT is it really?! What about:
1. Couple BUT they play separately (she in one week, he in next week...)"
. . .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single guy I class myself as a swingle. I like the scene and the people in it but I don't have a partner to play as a couple with other couples. "
I like that term
Swingle..... If I had a label, thats the one I would use |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
"
Oh,so that's why I'm not a swinger,I don't have a wife |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least."
Well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least."
Agree, so:
1 - Yes
2 - Yes
3 - No
4 - Yes
5 - No |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least."
Well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though. "
Veri's again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though. "
I'm not looking for people to take me serious.
I'm just looking to stir the shit |
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I know people don't like labels but they are incredibly useful.
Could you imagine shopping without any labels. Labels are a short cut way of classifying something.
They never will be a full detailed description of activities, likes and dislikes.
However the label swinger on a site like this is pretty neugatary. As it's like labelling something as fruit and veg in a fruit and veg shop.
Your here so by definition you have self identified as a swinger.
Far better to classify yourself as a swinger on a dating site etc so people can be aware of your preference.
Here swinging is the basis of joining. Who with and when and what you like is far more valuable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
Oh,so that's why I'm not a swinger,I don't have a wife "
You're not a real swinger because you don't want to shag me |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though.
I'm not looking for people to take me serious.
I'm just looking to stir the shit "
brother from another mother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you meet someone on here that you want to, and they want to meet you, whatever both your criteria are, then doesn't really matter if you're both 'swingers' or not does it? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
the swinging community needs to get into the 21st century imo..
couples dont swap keys anymore, they dont write to contact magazines, most, ( as far as i can see) wish to include single people in their fun and games..
so the definition has to change with the times..if you dont classify those that fulfill you fantasies as swingers, what are you doing, playing with them?
dont have double standards and dont judge.
no such thing as a true swinger.
Singles are getting fed up of this attitude and are turning to creating their own networks of fun so we dont have to put up with classified as second class citizens...fetish is coming in and being mixed into the scene, FF and mm couples and bi play and TV/TS dont have to hide any more..
couples who only want to play with other couples are now in the minority..you can keep your 'elitism' but it doesnt make you more appealing or any more true to this community..than anyone else.
i dont mind your preferences, but you are the segment that are the most closed minded these days. Snubbed and being put down for being single/ bi/TV/TS into moresomes and threesomes..just isn't going to be tolerated anymore. i have every right to be part of that, as anyone else.
the amount of labels i can pin on myself doesnt make me and, it surely wont break me.
live and let live and be happy and quit ya moaning..some of us love this lifestyle and wont give it up because you snub us..we couldnt care less..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though.
I'm not looking for people to take me serious.
I'm just looking to stir the shit "
You're not doing a very good job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though.
I'm not looking for people to take me serious.
I'm just looking to stir the shit
You're not doing a very good job."
The hate mail has beaten me down  |
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"Swinging = Shagging around "
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
You're not a real swinger because you don't want to shag me "
I changed my mind, this is my new definition!
Its like I always say, there are two types of people on fab, people who will sleep with me, and timewasters! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online? "
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I don't find it strange at all that swingers would like a website for other swingers "
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I don't find it strange at all that swingers would like a website for other swingers do you know how arsey that makes you sound? "
Why? Think of other forums, take a cycling forum for example, would they like a non-cyclist on there who is always slagging off cyclists?
Or a train spotting forum with a non-spotter telling them they we a bunch of sad wankers. They wouldn't be welcome. Why should it be different for a swingers site and forum? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! "
i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this is a swinging site?
It's in the name lol
I've been questioning this on several threads recently but it seems to upset too many people! "
I got shouted down for suggesting a site called fab swingers is primarily for swingers: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/511937 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much.."
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Go on any other forum, say a Man Utd forum and say "this should only be for Man Utd supporters" and everyone would agree with you.
Say on a swingers forum "this should only be for swingers" and you're treated like a lunatic. I really dont understand. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. "
thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go on any other forum, say a Man Utd forum and say "this should only be for Man Utd supporters" and everyone would agree with you.
Say on a swingers forum "this should only be for swingers" and you're treated like a lunatic. I really dont understand. "
If swinging encompasses nsa sex , then singles , tv's ,group sex will be part of it .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x"
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing! |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Go on any other forum, say a Man Utd forum and say "this should only be for Man Utd supporters" and everyone would agree with you.
Say on a swingers forum "this should only be for swingers" and you're treated like a lunatic. I really dont understand.
If swinging encompasses nsa sex , then singles , tv's ,group sex will be part of it .
"
Again Im going to be really controversial here and say if you would call yourself a swinger, then join a swingers forum. Outrageous suggestion to some I know. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing!"
the term is outdated, like pampas grass. people shpuld drop it and just use personal preferences as this is what they are referring too. but then i look for commonalities not differences in people..thats my perception in life it makes it nicer for the people that live on the planet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing!the term is outdated, like pampas grass. people shpuld drop it and just use personal preferences as this is what they are referring too. but then i look for commonalities not differences in people..thats my perception in life it makes it nicer for the people that live on the planet x"
I'm happy if fab wants to rename as www. Ethical non monogamy. Co.uk and we can call ourselves ENMers. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing!the term is outdated, like pampas grass. people shpuld drop it and just use personal preferences as this is what they are referring too. but then i look for commonalities not differences in people..thats my perception in life it makes it nicer for the people that live on the planet x
I'm happy if fab wants to rename as www. Ethical non monogamy. Co.uk and we can call ourselves ENMers. "
it wont ..youll just have to like it or lump it , the way it is x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing!the term is outdated, like pampas grass. people shpuld drop it and just use personal preferences as this is what they are referring too. but then i look for commonalities not differences in people..thats my perception in life it makes it nicer for the people that live on the planet x
I'm happy if fab wants to rename as www. Ethical non monogamy. Co.uk and we can call ourselves ENMers. it wont ..youll just have to like it or lump it , the way it is x"
Careful... i feel a petition coming on... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I just found it really strange that SOME people, who call themselves real-swinger are telling others - not-real swingers (in their opinion) to LEAVE the site. They almost make them feel bad..unwanted....ashamed that they are not 'one of them'.... Yet the same people are ashamed to tell others about their little hobby in a real life They say 'My sexual activity is MY own business'. And they are totally right!!!! So why can't they respect others on here? Is it because it is easier to abuse people online?
I see a fair few singletons who look down on swingers on these forums!! They don't identify as swingers and use it as some kind of free AFF alternative!! i identify with non monogamous sex and interrelationships..i also identify with being more unconditional and inclusive than most..if i got married and only played with other couples...would that make me a true swinger overnight ? then id have to give up being a unicorn...moresomes, threesomes FF play DDSM ..err i dont think im the narrow minded one here..maybe i just dont like nilla sex that much..
To be honest I don't care too much about labels and I don't mind non-ifentifying swingers being here either. I just object to some of their attitudes. thats fine..i object to non inclusive attitudes and bullying..i am entitled to my opinion and i am welcomed here by most people. so i shall stay on fab, and enjoy the continuing growth of acceptance of all peoples...i dont need anyones approval for that.. enjoy your evening x
I'm not suggesting you need my approval. I'm objecting to non-swingers that aren't accepting of swingers on a swinging forum so I thought we were agreeing!the term is outdated, like pampas grass. people shpuld drop it and just use personal preferences as this is what they are referring too. but then i look for commonalities not differences in people..thats my perception in life it makes it nicer for the people that live on the planet x
I'm happy if fab wants to rename as www. Ethical non monogamy. Co.uk and we can call ourselves ENMers. it wont ..youll just have to like it or lump it , the way it is x
Careful... i feel a petition coming on... "
go for it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the swinging community needs to get into the 21st century imo..
couples dont swap keys anymore, they dont write to contact magazines, most, ( as far as i can see) wish to include single people in their fun and games..
so the definition has to change with the times..if you dont classify those that fulfill you fantasies as swingers, what are you doing, playing with them?
dont have double standards and dont judge.
no such thing as a true swinger.
Singles are getting fed up of this attitude and are turning to creating their own networks of fun so we dont have to put up with classified as second class citizens...fetish is coming in and being mixed into the scene, FF and mm couples and bi play and TV/TS dont have to hide any more..
couples who only want to play with other couples are now in the minority..you can keep your 'elitism' but it doesnt make you more appealing or any more true to this community..than anyone else.
i dont mind your preferences, but you are the segment that are the most closed minded these days. Snubbed and being put down for being single/ bi/TV/TS into moresomes and threesomes..just isn't going to be tolerated anymore. i have every right to be part of that, as anyone else.
the amount of labels i can pin on myself doesnt make me and, it surely wont break me.
live and let live and be happy and quit ya moaning..some of us love this lifestyle and wont give it up because you snub us..we couldnt care less..
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.  |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok. "
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around."
Exhibit A your honour in the case of swingers vrs ignorance |
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By *RayMan
over a year ago
essex |
"Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. So the ethical part means everyone is informed and consenting, ie no cheating. The non-monogamy part means that for couples they are not sexually exclusive to each other, and for singles they have either been ethically non-monogamous in the past, or would be in future relationships.
So thats my definition of swinging at least.
I quite like that definition - and to me it makes sense!
To me the biggie here is honesty! I'm single and fairly open about my sexual proclivities (hence I have lots of face pics!). Every partner I have, whether a couple, man or woman, knows that I am not exclusive to them - so there's no dishonesty involved and I'm hurting no-one! That's massively important to me - and why I never 'date' in the real world now - as many seem to be as promiscuous as any swinger but without the honesty!
If others say I'm not a swinger and call me something derogatory instead then that's fine - I'm the one who has to face myself in the mirror every day - so morally I answer only to me!
Sorry op - bit long winded! "
|
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single "
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. "
I can confirm that they are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around.
Exhibit A your honour in the case of swingers vrs ignorance "
You're ignorant? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around.
Exhibit A your honour in the case of swingers vrs ignorance
You're ignorant?"
No I'm a swinger so I know first hand that swingers don't feel guilt about what we do. Your ignorance is outstanding that you even think that, I have no idea where you would even get that assumption from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's funny ... People tend to say things like this when you don't want to meet them.
The best I've heard is " you are not a real swinger , you don't have a wife to share"
I think your alright but you gonna need a meet veri for people to take you seriously on here, sure it won't take you that long though.
I'm not looking for people to take me serious.
I'm just looking to stir the shit
You're not doing a very good job.
The hate mail has beaten me down "
I just think you're shit at stirring shit. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. "
not at all, i play with open minded beautiful couples all the time...i was having a joke with another single lady about the joys of being single...dont be so defensive.. i love being a swinger, although you dont label me as one..thats not really my issue is it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around.
Exhibit A your honour in the case of swingers vrs ignorance
You're ignorant?
No I'm a swinger so I know first hand that swingers don't feel guilt about what we do. Your ignorance is outstanding that you even think that, I have no idea where you would even get that assumption from?"
Some do. I didn't say all do.
You seriously think that all swingers are the same...?  |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. not at all, i play with open minded beautiful couples all the time...i was having a joke with another single lady about the joys of being single...dont be so defensive.. i love being a swinger, although you dont label me as one..thats not really my issue is it xx"
Well I thought from what you said you did fit with the definition of swinging that I gave above, but you dont even seem to like the word swinger let alone the people who swing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around.
Exhibit A your honour in the case of swingers vrs ignorance
You're ignorant?
No I'm a swinger so I know first hand that swingers don't feel guilt about what we do. Your ignorance is outstanding that you even think that, I have no idea where you would even get that assumption from?
Some do. I didn't say all do.
You seriously think that all swingers are the same...? "
It's also called Ethical Non-Monogamy. People don't feel guilt about behaviour they consider ethical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. not at all, i play with open minded beautiful couples all the time...i was having a joke with another single lady about the joys of being single...dont be so defensive.. i love being a swinger, although you dont label me as one..thats not really my issue is it xx
Well I thought from what you said you did fit with the definition of swinging that I gave above, but you dont even seem to like the word swinger let alone the people who swing."
So did I! Who said you weren't a swinger? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
I think it is these kind of comments that people are referring to when they talk about people looking down on swingers. not at all, i play with open minded beautiful couples all the time...i was having a joke with another single lady about the joys of being single...dont be so defensive.. i love being a swinger, although you dont label me as one..thats not really my issue is it xx
Well I thought from what you said you did fit with the definition of swinging that I gave above, but you dont even seem to like the word swinger let alone the people who swing.
So did I! Who said you weren't a swinger? "
ive been called all sorts of things..but most people dont include 'swinger' in the list x i misread your earlier post..i can only apologize x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I hate the term Swinger because it just reminds me of the Elitists.
I don't hate swingers, just the word. "
Yeah....I've got mixed feelings about that word too.... But I do like word FAB
Maybe this site is not just for Swingers BUT for Fab people too 
Here we come... |
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"I hate the term Swinger because it just reminds me of the Elitists.
I don't hate swingers, just the word.
Yeah....I've got mixed feelings about that word too.... But I do like word FAB
Maybe this site is not just for Swingers BUT for Fab people too
Here we come... "
"Fab" is just such an awful word;
60's " hip" word, massively out dated now;
Or just reminds me of Thunderbirds
"F.A.B Virgil" ..... |
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"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single "
What an interesting _iew of being a couple this is. Glad it's not. my experience. |
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By *eccymanMan
over a year ago
Gateshead |
"As a single guy I class myself as a swingle. I like the scene and the people in it but I don't have a partner to play as a couple with other couples.
I like that term
Swingle..... If I had a label, thats the one I would use "
Go for it us swingles should stick together lol. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
What an interesting _iew of being a couple this is. Glad it's not. my experience. "
ots a tongue in cheek post..wheres your sense of humour and devils advocate? |
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"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
What an interesting _iew of being a couple this is. Glad it's not. my experience. ots a tongue in cheek post..wheres your sense of humour and devils advocate? "
Difficult to tell things are tongue in cheek on here ... and it's always easy enough to say that, after the fact. My sense of humour finds other things funny, not deriding others and their relationships ... it came across as something completely different, and I don't think I am the only one who thought that. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
What an interesting _iew of being a couple this is. Glad it's not. my experience. ots a tongue in cheek post..wheres your sense of humour and devils advocate?
Difficult to tell things are tongue in cheek on here ... and it's always easy enough to say that, after the fact. My sense of humour finds other things funny, not deriding others and their relationships ... it came across as something completely different, and I don't think I am the only one who thought that."
You’re not the only one who thought that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Historically called wife swapping but swinging isn't a person it's a lifestyle...it's just found people who participate called the name "swingers" to make it fit in someone's mind...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Does it really matter. .what word we all use? We all ,or most of us . Are here for nsa sex with others. Swingers, swingles ,shaggers lol all just words. Can me whatever.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Swinging = Shagging around
Exactly that; " Swinging" is a myth; people self define as swingers; but it's meaningless.
It's just random shagging.
And Swingers are people who define their random shagging as some sort of " special activity".
I think that some people need to give it a name - 'swinging' - to ease the guilt they feel for shagging around. Give it a cool sounding name, like an exclusive club for elite couples, then it's ok.
thats so naughty.. . let them have it, it makes up a little bit for all the dirty laundry,ironing,snoring, sharing the remote, bitching and moaning you have to put up with, when not single
What an interesting _iew of being a couple this is. Glad it's not. my experience. ots a tongue in cheek post..wheres your sense of humour and devils advocate? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't give a toss. However swinging is consensual partner swapping. Single people are not swingers. Sorry if you don't like it but that's the way it is. "
That's ok. I'm happy not being a swinger
|
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"I don't give a toss. However swinging is consensual partner swapping. Single people are not swingers. Sorry if you don't like it but that's the way it is.
That's ok. I'm happy not being a swinger
"
see no point in getting hung up on it. It's just a label. |
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