FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Messaging someone knowing you aren't their type ?!
Messaging someone knowing you aren't their type ?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forget it.. you have no chance. Once they've made their mind up.. based on a photo and not much else..
All the sweet talking in the world will get you nowhere but deleted.  |
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"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "
I never try to change someone's mind - but I do enjoy chatting with people that I feel there is common ground with. Up to them a) if they decide to reply and B) whether it turns into anything more.
So - I might message someone who isn't interested in me sexually to start with. But - if they say or delete - I have my answer |
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I will chat to people on the forums about threads ... I don't come here to tout for meets. I am interested in people and their opinions so why not .... I do try to make it clear we aren't meeting so they know this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have done once, saw a guy but his profile said his preference was tall blondes. I'm a short brunette, still fucked me though so more fool him for not sticking to his principles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "
If you're doing it to hope you'll change their mind you're wasting your time and ours - people get more than enough messages already. It is because they are bombarded like that that many well-directed messages also get ignored.
In the past, I have messaged people complimenting them on great photos or profile, or forum post - but make it clear I know I'm not their type and don't expect anything in return.
Sometimes it sparks a platonic back and forth of friendly messages, which can be nice but to be honest, I'm here to meet, not to message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose it's a bit like telephone cold calling, in that if they ring enough people then eventually one will bite. If someone on here messages enough people, irrespective of what their profile says, they may get a favourable response eventually. I hasten to add, I do not do this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"that's called desperation.
I don't see it that way. I have friends on here that I just chat with. And some who I have sex with.
For me - it's not just about sex"
i'd love more guys like this on fab, or the internet in general really, and real life...i often talk to people as friends and it always ends up they have an agenda and they want sex. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Have done once, saw a guy but his profile said his preference was tall blondes. I'm a short brunette, still fucked me though so more fool him for not sticking to his principles. "
But surly it's a preference that can be changed 
For me I don't say what I am looking for mainly because I don't want to limit a female or couple
I would say I enjoy different types of women at different times and my prefs allow for that
Same with couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont really get it...and a lot reply 'oh its worth a try'....on what planet is it worth a try? i wonder if they go through life with the same attitude,constantly applying for jobs as a brain surgeon or the like,attempting to get to fly jets when they've never been in a plane etc..all a bit self-defeating .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only if it's forum related. I know my limits!"
indeed  totally agree x
although alot of ppl on here should pull their heads out of their own arses and get a life....!!!! haa..!! just sayin..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they list half a dozen criteria and you meet 4 or 5 of them, it's worth a shot."
Precisely.
People who lay out a rigid set of precise physical, mental, social and cultural attributes for their meets do my head in.
You're meeting people FFS...you're not buying a house, a car, or a new computer. Reducing potential meets to a checklist of iron-clad criteria just makes me dismiss you as mind-meltingly shallow.
Ultimately, it's the difference between saying:
'I'd prefer to meet someone who's taller than myself,'
and
'Users under six feet tall will be deleted and blocked.' |
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By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago
Lancaster area |
Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!
Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.
They must see something that they like! Haha!
-JD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!
Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.
They must see something that they like! Haha!
-JD"
I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...
However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "
It depends if you're talking about TYPES or PREFERENCES.
Personally, I think it's ridiculous to say that you have a TYPE, because that suggests that all people who possess a particular attribute can be categorised in the same way. It also suggests that you exclude anyone who does not fit that description, irrespective of their other qualities.
By contrast, a PREFERENCE suggests that you exhibit a bias towards particular attributes, and are more likely to seek out people who possess those attributes. However, it also suggests that you do not consider those attributes to be 'essential' in a partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they list half a dozen criteria and you meet 4 or 5 of them, it's worth a shot."
That I do get. When the one criteria is another woman and they quite clearly are in full possession of trouser danglies, that I don't get. |
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"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!
Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.
They must see something that they like! Haha!
-JD
I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...
However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men..."
That's cos he was Fab Straight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!
Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.
They must see something that they like! Haha!
-JD
I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...
However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men...
That's cos he was Fab Straight "
Fab Straight? I'm afraid that you have me at a disadvantage... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sometimes message someone who I know I don't match criteria or they don't match mine just to either chat about something in the forum or to give a compliment.
A fact also is that many people are willing to bend their own rules in some circumstances. In fact more do than don't in my experience. |
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