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Too much chemistry pre meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not just meet him for a social only? And see how the chemistry is then? "
The more I find out about him the more I like him. It's really not compatible with NSA ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah i get this with a lot of guys, do think there's something wrong with me and that i'm maybe not that fussy lol, i do know i don't do NSA well and need a lot of attention and can chat for england so that might be why really.
i fall for a lot of guys but the feeling soon passes.
aw, shame you can't meet coz you might enjoy it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand but till u meet u don't know how the true chemistry is between u . I love sexual chemistry so I understand where your coming from . Go for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you not embrace the chemistry and not let yourself get too involved? The sex could be really good and you'll miss out. I know it's easy to say don't get involved,I'm lucky that I can shut off to anything remotely smelling like a relationship and can enjoy the closeness without thinking it's ever going to be anything else. You could get hurt,but you may have found the best friend with benefits ever. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not an option now anyway. When I told him I couldn't meet him he's blocked me and told me to stop messaging.
I think he's retreated back to his man cave which I guess I have to respect.
Fuck it  |
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"Why not just meet him for a social only? And see how the chemistry is then?
The more I find out about him the more I like him. It's really not compatible with NSA !"
You only live once, so nothing ventured nothing gained, and you might just regret not having met.... |
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"I understand but till u meet u don't know how the true chemistry is between u . I love sexual chemistry so I understand where your coming from . Go for it "
And if you don't meet him wiil you be torturing yourself over what might have been? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've kind of had something similar where we both felt we were getting on great prior to meeting. Chatting on kik etc but when I met him for a social I was a bit  Since then I've toned down the 'pre chat' 
"
Yeah I was sort of hoping this would happen actually ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talking via txt & talking face to face is different I think!
Might like his personality but find ur not that attracted to him physically (know from personal experience).
Wld say just have a social see how it goes, u still free to walk away if don't float ur boat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is a shame - had similar experience but with a long term FB off here - I was in between marriages (long storey) and was with her for best part of 2 years -  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Not an option now anyway. When I told him I couldn't meet him he's blocked me and told me to stop messaging.
I think he's retreated back to his man cave which I guess I have to respect.
Fuck it "
That's a bit ott if you were getting on well. Sounds like a drama queen to me!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Currently experiencing exactly that, and loving every minute of it! Chemistry and connection make for wonderful sex, amongst other things..... maybe next time it happens just go with it. What's the worst that can happen?
Good luck OP xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We could have had a nice time and wanted to meet again.
As you say. What will be will be, so perhaps this is for the best.
Just doesn't feel right somehow. Ah well. Back to the drawing board ! |
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Its a tricky one because NSA is great but i think most people will agree for great sex a chemistry is needed. I just dont think many people expect to find that on here so when it does happen we get scared about it |
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Who made the decision not to meet cos too much chemistry??
Sometimes meets like this will dissapoint as the fantasy turns into reality..
Op...he may have just had a good wank on the strength of it..that's all some men want..
good luck. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
Are you the kind of person in a restaurant that sends food back to the kitchen if it looks too good!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well back towards the end of 2011 I was minding my own business speaking to people in the wales chat room when I spotted a rather handsome guy on cam. He had a handsome face and a huge penis but when I looked at his profile he was from way way up north in England, bugger! We exchanged numbers anyway and would send each other pictures then we would Skype for hours every night, nothing rude just talking and would chat on the phone and text all the time, that went on for 4 months before I thought fuck it I'm catching a train up to him. He was up for meeting so one Saturday I took the 6 and a half hour train journey and he picked me up from the station and it was a mental feeling finally seeing him in the flesh. I was smitten, we stayed the night in a hotel, said goodbye and went home the next day as it was only meant to be a one off but following weekend he drove down and was at my door! That went on for 18 months with him coming down and me catching the train up before I realised it was actually the catching the train and having a packed lunch that I liked rather than the dude so that was the end of that! |
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"Well back towards the end of 2011 I was minding my own business speaking to people in the wales chat room when I spotted a rather handsome guy on cam. He had a handsome face and a huge penis but when I looked at his profile he was from way way up north in England, bugger! We exchanged numbers anyway and would send each other pictures then we would Skype for hours every night, nothing rude just talking and would chat on the phone and text all the time, that went on for 4 months before I thought fuck it I'm catching a train up to him. He was up for meeting so one Saturday I took the 6 and a half hour train journey and he picked me up from the station and it was a mental feeling finally seeing him in the flesh. I was smitten, we stayed the night in a hotel, said goodbye and went home the next day as it was only meant to be a one off but following weekend he drove down and was at my door! That went on for 18 months with him coming down and me catching the train up before I realised it was actually the catching the train and having a packed lunch that I liked rather than the dude so that was the end of that!"
Fuck the train, id fucking walk to meet you lol
But on a serious note i do not think that is uncommon, its the thrill and excitement of the meet rather than the actual meet itself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't he's not answering. But you've all pretty much confirmed that I am a complete tit and ballsed up a potentially good meet.
I resign  "
Or he was just saying everything he thought you needed to hear in order to get a meet ?
We both still chat with ppl we've met as singles without it going anywhere sexually? So to block you !!
Either spat his dummy out or you could have had a lucky escape ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a tricky one because NSA is great but i think most people will agree for great sex a chemistry is needed. I just dont think many people expect to find that on here so when it does happen we get scared about it "
and maybe not ready for it? you can't help how you feel. |
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I have been chatting to a lady from here for a couple of weeks now, started on here and then text and KIK. Problem i have is now it appears she is becoming a bit to full on. No sex chat, but i get a message 1st thing every morning, messages saying ive made her day by replying to her etc etc.
It is hard as she is a nice lady but for me just coming on a bit to heavy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't he's not answering. But you've all pretty much confirmed that I am a complete tit and ballsed up a potentially good meet.
I resign
Or he was just saying everything he thought you needed to hear in order to get a meet ?
We both still chat with ppl we've met as singles without it going anywhere sexually? So to block you !!
Either spat his dummy out or you could have had a lucky escape ?? "
I don't think he does relationships and can only assume he's scared he'll want more out of it.
He told me he was scared I wouldn't want to meet him a second time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We could have had a nice time and wanted to meet again.
As you say. What will be will be, so perhaps this is for the best.
Just doesn't feel right somehow. Ah well. Back to the drawing board !"
Because he's blocked you and you can't message him are you using the threads of a way to contact him? Hoping he sees your posts etc ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been chatting to a lady from here for a couple of weeks now, started on here and then text and KIK. Problem i have is now it appears she is becoming a bit to full on. No sex chat, but i get a message 1st thing every morning, messages saying ive made her day by replying to her etc etc.
It is hard as she is a nice lady but for me just coming on a bit to heavy "
Yes this in reverse though. Then making it abundantly clear its only NSA.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We could have had a nice time and wanted to meet again.
As you say. What will be will be, so perhaps this is for the best.
Just doesn't feel right somehow. Ah well. Back to the drawing board !
Because he's blocked you and you can't message him are you using the threads of a way to contact him? Hoping he sees your posts etc ?"
Lol now there's an idea. No pretty sure he doesn't read forums. B |
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"I have been chatting to a lady from here for a couple of weeks now, started on here and then text and KIK. Problem i have is now it appears she is becoming a bit to full on. No sex chat, but i get a message 1st thing every morning, messages saying ive made her day by replying to her etc etc.
It is hard as she is a nice lady but for me just coming on a bit to heavy
Yes this in reverse though. Then making it abundantly clear its only NSA.. "
Maybe we should talk some more lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just meet him for a social only? And see how the chemistry is then?
The more I find out about him the more I like him. It's really not compatible with NSA !"
Does it HAVE to be nsa?
Are either of you in a relationship at the moment?
I think coming on here looking for the love of your life is silly - but sometimes it just happens!
People fall in love on fab fairly regularly!
Good luck whatever you decide op - but if you're both single I'd meet him and see what happens! Nothing ventured - nothing gained!! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't he's not answering. But you've all pretty much confirmed that I am a complete tit and ballsed up a potentially good meet.
I resign "
No you're not, and no you haven't. If he has blocked you because you've pulled back then maybe you've had a lucky escape...If he hasn't got the maturity to understand, perhaps it wasn't quite what it appeared on the surface and all the apparent chemistry was just to pull you in |
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
Oh yes, and I embrace it with both arms wide open, sometimes the intensity is real and something really good develops from it - if you get the chance go for it, nothing to lose!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't he's not answering. But you've all pretty much confirmed that I am a complete tit and ballsed up a potentially good meet.
I resign
No you're not, and no you haven't. If he has blocked you because you've pulled back then maybe you've had a lucky escape...If he hasn't got the maturity to understand, perhaps it wasn't quite what it appeared on the surface and all the apparent chemistry was just to pull you in"
well put |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I suggest go to the meet but with a big green bogey hanging out of your left nostril. This will a) show if he has any social skills and b) see if he likes you as a person not just appearance. "
Wise words lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well back towards the end of 2011 I was minding my own business speaking to people in the wales chat room when I spotted a rather handsome guy on cam. He had a handsome face and a huge penis but when I looked at his profile he was from way way up north in England, bugger! We exchanged numbers anyway and would send each other pictures then we would Skype for hours every night, nothing rude just talking and would chat on the phone and text all the time, that went on for 4 months before I thought fuck it I'm catching a train up to him. He was up for meeting so one Saturday I took the 6 and a half hour train journey and he picked me up from the station and it was a mental feeling finally seeing him in the flesh. I was smitten, we stayed the night in a hotel, said goodbye and went home the next day as it was only meant to be a one off but following weekend he drove down and was at my door! That went on for 18 months with him coming down and me catching the train up before I realised it was actually the catching the train and having a packed lunch that I liked rather than the dude so that was the end of that!"
That reeeeeeally made me giggle |
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I've had this quite a lot before a meet and I've had a few relationships 6months plus. I read you're still in love. Just go with the flow, maybe deep inside having more than NSA will make you get over your ex or bring you closer together. Be positive meet and have fun and whatever happens happens don't over anticipate things with anyone. People can't handle rejection, but he'll be back out of his cave if it's meant to be. Life's too short enjoy every minute of it.
Good luck with all yours and everyone's meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well back towards the end of 2011 I was minding my own business speaking to people in the wales chat room when I spotted a rather handsome guy on cam. He had a handsome face and a huge penis but when I looked at his profile he was from way way up north in England, bugger! We exchanged numbers anyway and would send each other pictures then we would Skype for hours every night, nothing rude just talking and would chat on the phone and text all the time, that went on for 4 months before I thought fuck it I'm catching a train up to him. He was up for meeting so one Saturday I took the 6 and a half hour train journey and he picked me up from the station and it was a mental feeling finally seeing him in the flesh. I was smitten, we stayed the night in a hotel, said goodbye and went home the next day as it was only meant to be a one off but following weekend he drove down and was at my door! That went on for 18 months with him coming down and me catching the train up before I realised it was actually the catching the train and having a packed lunch that I liked rather than the dude so that was the end of that!"
Aww come on, it must have been his huge cock that you liked for a few months |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
No...
We actually like it when there is a spark /chemistry. Without it, we wouldn't arrange to meet in the first place.
We've found if we can chat/joke easily on here, then it's extremely likely that it will be the same in person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
No ... because too much chat and messaging does exactly this .... learned that a long time ago . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not an option now anyway. When I told him I couldn't meet him he's blocked me and told me to stop messaging.
I think he's retreated back to his man cave which I guess I have to respect.
Fuck it "
Thats actually quite sad. He's obviously quite cut up about it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I made the mistake of getting too emotionally involved with a fb. And we saw eachother for 5 yrs. I was totally smitten with her. And then she called it a day last year. It took me ages to get over it. Really messed my head up. I dont wanna go there again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have and I actually like it, it's what drives me on to meeting people & having the best time.
I've also found it calms down after the 1st few meets & the sexual tension has been attended too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try not to get too deep with the pre meet chat these days as I know the consequences of all that chemistry has got me into situations I would rather not have been in on previous occasions...
Now the char is just geared towards fact finding prior to a social
 |
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Yep. I met a guy for a social only as I was in a good mood and we were both in town.
I didn't bother asking the usual questions beforehand as I wasn't going to shag him (are you attached, do you smoke) so we arranged to meet outside a coffee shop.
BAM! Both of us hit by a truck, the attraction was so strong but sadly, he's married and as much as I would give anything to go there, I won't go there.
It still hurts. |
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
We got on brilliantly when we chatted on here and from the moment we met. A her and a half later and we are still going strong .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not an option now anyway. When I told him I couldn't meet him he's blocked me and told me to stop messaging.
I think he's retreated back to his man cave which I guess I have to respect.
Fuck it "
to be fair what did you expect
if somebody said they didnt want to meet me id tell them to stop mailing too, why would you want to carry on mailing somebody who dont want to meet you? surely your time is best spent elsewhere talking to somebody who does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awhhh that's such a pity. I had /have this chemistry with someone and it's amazing, something I'll treasure forever. Boundaries in place and it's perfect. Honestly I think you're cutting off your nose despite your face. It's a once in a lifetime feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably for the best OP.
As someone else said, if he blocked you that's a bit 
"
i dont see whats wrong with blocking her
they talked, shes decided not to meet and told him, hes blocked her
am i missing something?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably for the best OP.
As someone else said, if he blocked you that's a bit
i dont see whats wrong with blocking her
they talked, shes decided not to meet and told him, hes blocked her
am i missing something? "
Maybe he was to blunt , we know from our experience with the op being honest and blunt doesn't go down well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably for the best OP.
As someone else said, if he blocked you that's a bit
i dont see whats wrong with blocking her
they talked, shes decided not to meet and told him, hes blocked her
am i missing something? "
100% agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
I met a girl in a club and the chemistry was insanely intense and now we are in a relationship. I only come on here for the forums now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be "
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You may have met and had the best meet ever, or you could have met and thought
Messaging doesn't always give you a true picture I don't think. "
I fully agree I met my current girlfriend in a club. I had messaged her in the past and been ignored |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?"
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You may have met and had the best meet ever, or you could have met and thought
Messaging doesn't always give you a true picture I don't think.
I fully agree I met my current girlfriend in a club. I had messaged her in the past and been ignored"
Aw you! Am I buying a hat? Can I do a speech? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suggest go to the meet but with a big green bogey hanging out of your left nostril. This will a) show if he has any social skills and b) see if he likes you as a person not just appearance. "
Yuck . I would have to say straight away then forget if all the chemistry was there xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You may have met and had the best meet ever, or you could have met and thought
Messaging doesn't always give you a true picture I don't think.
I fully agree I met my current girlfriend in a club. I had messaged her in the past and been ignored
Aw you! Am I buying a hat? Can I do a speech?"
Yay Mrs Mac is in the room! Is all thanks to her that I met my girlfriend.
I'm sure it would be a mighty interesting speach!!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
"
Absolutely |
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"Well back towards the end of 2011 I was minding my own business speaking to people in the wales chat room when I spotted a rather handsome guy on cam. He had a handsome face and a huge penis but when I looked at his profile he was from way way up north in England, bugger! We exchanged numbers anyway and would send each other pictures then we would Skype for hours every night, nothing rude just talking and would chat on the phone and text all the time, that went on for 4 months before I thought fuck it I'm catching a train up to him. He was up for meeting so one Saturday I took the 6 and a half hour train journey and he picked me up from the station and it was a mental feeling finally seeing him in the flesh. I was smitten, we stayed the night in a hotel, said goodbye and went home the next day as it was only meant to be a one off but following weekend he drove down and was at my door! That went on for 18 months with him coming down and me catching the train up before I realised it was actually the catching the train and having a packed lunch that I liked rather than the dude so that was the end of that!
That reeeeeeally made me giggle "
Lol. That end caught me by surprise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder if we're gonna have a "fucking timewasters" thread from the bloke soon.
Anyway this seems a spectacularly stupid situation to have found yourself in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting to a lovely lovely guy on here and agreed to meet him next week. We've been messaging quite intensely and there's no doubt about it there seems to be a lot of chemistry.
I've never experienced anything so bizarre before. We're both single but both just after NSA.
But now we're not meeting because there's too much chemistry. Both a bit frightened that we might like each other too much. My head is a bit fucked with this!
Anyone else experienced it? "
I think this is a very female response... as a guy, i don't see the problem as a big issue, but I do understand where you are coming from.
The poor guy is probably thinking, how did I fuck that up, and now some idiot is going to meet her instead.
If there is chemistry, you will have a blast, perhaps an awesome time and who knows... don't regret not meeting him.??
Much love |
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
"
Aww, my heart goes out to you every time I hear this story...maybe he felt the same? Maybe he was wishing he had the courage to say something??
I don't think putting your feelings on the table in a 'clean' manner is ever the wrong thing to do. Trying to coerce or manipulate is, yes, but not just presenting your truth and giving someone free choice as to how they respond to it.
After 56 years on this planet I have decided that love is the most precious commodity we have and should never be wasted, never. I think you should drop him a line, but of course it is your life and my views are irrelevant lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
Aww, my heart goes out to you every time I hear this story...maybe he felt the same? Maybe he was wishing he had the courage to say something??
I don't think putting your feelings on the table in a 'clean' manner is ever the wrong thing to do. Trying to coerce or manipulate is, yes, but not just presenting your truth and giving someone free choice as to how they respond to it.
After 56 years on this planet I have decided that love is the most precious commodity we have and should never be wasted, never. I think you should drop him a line, but of course it is your life and my views are irrelevant lol! "
Nah by gones are by gones
He is still on the site and does mail me from time to time to ask how I am etc
I know everybody is different and some people do find love on here and I'm genuinely happy for them but for me I just personally felt it would have been wrong to turn round to a guy I've basically met on the understand it was no strings, uncomplicated fun and say I think I'm falling in love with you
That wasn't the deal
I just felt I didn't have the rights to lay that on him, to put him in a situation when he had to respond to somebody saying that
Plus if I'm honest I was thinking about my feelings too, about how I would have felt if he had laughed in my face or got pissed off with me, which he would have had every rights to do, I think just walking away would have been less humiliating and at least we parted friends, well kind of |
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
Aww, my heart goes out to you every time I hear this story...maybe he felt the same? Maybe he was wishing he had the courage to say something??
I don't think putting your feelings on the table in a 'clean' manner is ever the wrong thing to do. Trying to coerce or manipulate is, yes, but not just presenting your truth and giving someone free choice as to how they respond to it.
After 56 years on this planet I have decided that love is the most precious commodity we have and should never be wasted, never. I think you should drop him a line, but of course it is your life and my views are irrelevant lol!
Nah by gones are by gones
He is still on the site and does mail me from time to time to ask how I am etc
I know everybody is different and some people do find love on here and I'm genuinely happy for them but for me I just personally felt it would have been wrong to turn round to a guy I've basically met on the understand it was no strings, uncomplicated fun and say I think I'm falling in love with you
That wasn't the deal
I just felt I didn't have the rights to lay that on him, to put him in a situation when he had to respond to somebody saying that
Plus if I'm honest I was thinking about my feelings too, about how I would have felt if he had laughed in my face or got pissed off with me, which he would have had every rights to do, I think just walking away would have been less humiliating and at least we parted friends, well kind of "
Yes but.....but.....one can always dip a toe in the water and make a joke like 'Oh dear, I like you far too much for an nsa sex site! ' or something jusy to guage response....anyway ..... nice weather for the time of year  |
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This is an interesting thread. I do feel for you OP. You obviously realise you probably made an error of judgment and it is clear you are gutted about a missed opportunity. We are all only human and make mistakes. Nothing to be done except learn from it and move on.
That said....a situation arose for me too where a guy was clearly looking for more than just a playmate /FB as he would like a relationship but with someone who enjoys the swinging scene. At first I was Also a bit thrown by this as I hadn't prepared myself for the possibility of meeting someone off FAB for anything more than nsa and maybe friendship. Also I appear to have been pretty hopeless in relationships over recent years so gave up and haven't been looking for one! But I can see the merit in some people seeking a relationship via the swinging community for at least it's one thing you don't need to explain or try to check out if the new partner is likely to be interested !
Human relationships are strange things! Who can tell who we will meet or how?
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By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago
Lancaster area |
My wifey experienced something slightly similar to this when back when we first started.
She was messaged back and forth with him for quite a few weeks. She is an intellectually stimulated type person, and this guy just seemed to say everything right. They finally decided to meet.
It was a complete disaster! From the instant he showed up, everything was just....off. He could not look her in the eye, he was very nervous, and he stuttered. Prior to the meet, he said all the right things, talked about all the experience he had, and was never at a loss for words. On top of that, his clothing was unkempt, and he could have used a shower!
It did not go well.
On the plus side, he is the very reason we started doing Social meets.
There is nothing wrong with inexperience, shyness, and being nervous. ( I guarantee I am the most nervous Swinger in the history of Swinging! ) However, honesty and being real is appreciated!!
-JD |
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"i had it with a guy after i had met him, we met four times before i knocked it on the head
There was just something about him, we just got on so well, our sence of humor was bang on together and everything about us just clicked
i remember the last time we met i actually had butterflies in my stomach with excitement thats when i knew it was wrong, i knew i had to stop meeting him
thing is we are only human and sometimes our feelings catch us unaware, you cant always control your feelings but you can decide what your going to do with them
so with a heavy heart i told him i didn't want to meer again
that was about four years ago and i still think of him, ive never met anybody like him before or since
I do believe there is somebody for everybody out there its just sometimes you meet your somebody in the wrong place and it's can't be
Why is this the wrong place? If things are that good then surely things will work?
because this is a no strings site, i met him purely on a no stringd basis, i think putting my feelingd on the table with somebody i have met for no strings sex is wrong and putting him in an awkward position
i wouldn't want somebody putting me in that possition so i wouldn't do it to them
Aww, my heart goes out to you every time I hear this story...maybe he felt the same? Maybe he was wishing he had the courage to say something??
I don't think putting your feelings on the table in a 'clean' manner is ever the wrong thing to do. Trying to coerce or manipulate is, yes, but not just presenting your truth and giving someone free choice as to how they respond to it.
After 56 years on this planet I have decided that love is the most precious commodity we have and should never be wasted, never. I think you should drop him a line, but of course it is your life and my views are irrelevant lol!
Nah by gones are by gones
He is still on the site and does mail me from time to time to ask how I am etc
I know everybody is different and some people do find love on here and I'm genuinely happy for them but for me I just personally felt it would have been wrong to turn round to a guy I've basically met on the understand it was no strings, uncomplicated fun and say I think I'm falling in love with you
That wasn't the deal
I just felt I didn't have the rights to lay that on him, to put him in a situation when he had to respond to somebody saying that
Plus if I'm honest I was thinking about my feelings too, about how I would have felt if he had laughed in my face or got pissed off with me, which he would have had every rights to do, I think just walking away would have been less humiliating and at least we parted friends, well kind of
Yes but.....but.....one can always dip a toe in the water and make a joke like 'Oh dear, I like you far too much for an nsa sex site! ' or something jusy to guage response....anyway ..... nice weather for the time of year "
Agreed. Ok it is an nsa site and that is how you met... BUT we are also human with complex emotions that we cannot always predict. How do you know if he was feeling the same and also didn't want to land that at your door? OK maybe this guy has moved on now. I don't know.... but I had a closed mind. Maybe I still do a bit...or perhaps a bit cynical. But when I chat to people on here, I realise there are a lot of common themes that many experience and this is one of them. Both women and men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Had this once ... We managed to keep it to nsa, although we both had a soft spot for each other no doubt. Neither of us wanted a relationship so it worked. We had a fear though of meeting cos of the way things were. Most importantly though, the sex was pretty damn good. I would say just go for it what's the worst that can Happen? U fall for each other? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some interesting responses thank you.
I was just wanting some NSA fun being new back on the site alone and now widowed 6 months. I impressed this on the guy from the word go that I didn't want any complications because I have been on an emotional roller coaster.
I did eventually hear back from him yesterday and let's just say there is no longer chemistry, on my part anyway and we won't be meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For what it is worth i think you were both right to knock it on the head. It sounds like something that neither of you wanted to get into. It's perfectly possible to chat extensively to someone you're potentially going to meet without emotional involvement getting in the way. I do it all the time....however It's probably easier for me given that I'm married and know exactly what i want out of a meet. You are not long widowed and far more vulnerable than i so i can see how the emotions will be all over the place. Take it easy and slow would be my advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met up with a guy once, and the way he chatted before was a real turn on, he talked about what he was going to do too me in front of nic! When it came to the real thing it was a total let down, couldn't even get hard! You'll know when there's the right nsa chemistry!! And if he's blocked you, he's a dick!! Just go out and have some fun, some are worth it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think those saying he is out of order for blocking are being harsh to the guy. She called it off so he blocked to prevent further contact. It's done. Time for both to move on ...especially as neither wanted any emotional involvement. I think he was just getting on with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the guy dodged a bullet this seems like a lot of drama over nothing.
"Omg i like to much"
1 day later
"I dont like him at all now""
I resisted replying to your other comment.... Yes I certainly did change my mind when he became pretty abusive and suggesting totally inappropriate things for a woman in my position.
I think I had the narrow escape here thank you very much. |
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"I think those saying he is out of order for blocking are being harsh to the guy. She called it off so he blocked to prevent further contact. It's done. Time for both to move on ...especially as neither wanted any emotional involvement. I think he was just getting on with it."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some interesting responses thank you.
I was just wanting some NSA fun being new back on the site alone and now widowed 6 months. I impressed this on the guy from the word go that I didn't want any complications because I have been on an emotional roller coaster.
I did eventually hear back from him yesterday and let's just say there is no longer chemistry, on my part anyway and we won't be meeting. "
Do you think you that emotionally you may have been swept along a little? I know I can get 'carried away' in the heat of the moment at times but have learnt to reign it in over the years.
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"For what it is worth i think you were both right to knock it on the head. It sounds like something that neither of you wanted to get into. It's perfectly possible to chat extensively to someone you're potentially going to meet without emotional involvement getting in the way. I do it all the time....however It's probably easier for me given that I'm married and know exactly what i want out of a meet. You are not long widowed and far more vulnerable than i so i can see how the emotions will be all over the place. Take it easy and slow would be my advice. "
Yes, I didn't realise who the OP was, I think slowly and gently would be the wisest thing. Glad it is resolved in your mind anyway OP, take care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the guy dodged a bullet this seems like a lot of drama over nothing.
"Omg i like to much"
1 day later
"I dont like him at all now"
I resisted replying to your other comment.... Yes I certainly did change my mind when he became pretty abusive and suggesting totally inappropriate things for a woman in my position.
I think I had the narrow escape here thank you very much. "
That position being doggy style from the profile pic? |
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