FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Just socialising at club's

Just socialising at club's

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

I dont ever go to clubs with the intention on playing any more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've been a few times and not played so no its completely up to the invidvial

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've been a few times and not played so no its completely up to the invidvial

"
ive done that in the past but i mean no intention of playing no matter what

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

It's not just allowed, most clubs welcome it. I quite often go clubbing on my own just to socialise if Himself is busy. Lots of people to chat to. I now have loads of friends who have never so much as laid a finger on me lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've been a few times and not played so no its completely up to the invidvial

ive done that in the past but i mean no intention of playing no matter what "

There's no rule saying you HAVE to play at a club. Clubs are a great place to meet like minded people to chat to and have a laugh with. If you do or don't play is nothing to do with it.

Lots of my club visits are social only.

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Seems perfectly acceptable to us, we sometimes go just to play with each other, sometimes with others and sometimes just to check a place out. Some of the best times we have had have occurred just because we were relaxed and not looking and we met the loveliest people. So go ahead and enjoy - this also applies to an single guys, just go along for a night out, the people are great

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

For me, a club night is an opportunity to spend an evening out with people I know and have a chat. If any play happens it is a bonus, and people should never expect sex at a club anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation. "

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've been a few times and not played so no its completely up to the invidvial

ive done that in the past but i mean no intention of playing no matter what

There's no rule saying you HAVE to play at a club. Clubs are a great place to meet like minded people to chat to and have a laugh with. If you do or don't play is nothing to do with it.

Lots of my club visits are social only. "
but am I like minded now i dont want to do anything sexual ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have been to clubs a few times where I have had no desire or inclination to play with anyone. Olly does, but sometimes, like you, I am just not in the mood for anything sexual. Never been a problem and I always have a great night making friends

A x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When hubby and i go we rarely play with anybody else nowadays as there is rarely anyone there we are interested in.

However we do enjoy the time spent with each other where we can relax in the jacuzzi and play together in a private room .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When hubby and i go we rarely play with anybody else nowadays as there is rarely anyone there we are interested in.

However we do enjoy the time spent with each other where we can relax in the jacuzzi and play together in a private room ."
thats the thing. After over 3 years as a couple i just have found i have no interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/16 17:55:21]

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I've only played with my FB so far at a club. I love the social aspect & feel safer than I do a club in my town centre

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've only played with my FB so far at a club. I love the social aspect & feel safer than I do a club in my town centre "
thats the wierd thing.. played for years and years as a single but now... it just seems pointless but i do enjoy the social and will only meet anyone at clubs. I dont have vanilla friends lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

I haven't played at a club for about a year and that instance broke an 18 month dry spell prior to that. I go because I can get dressed up and not be hassled. Been called a tease and false advertising many times. Screw them. Or not

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff

Totally get the dressing up! I love getting dressed to go to clubs and enjoy being appreciated & as you said screw them, or not!

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By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Any reputable club will be happy for you to go and not play. And all decent people will respect your decision not to play ... no-one should EVER go to a club expecting to play. Ignore anyone who calls you a tease... your body, your choice!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Clubs havent got an issue. I think it's a change of outlook for me... and knowing that as it stands i cant see myself enjoying it again i feel im just loitering... i did last night enjoy a social night and helped a few newbies but i am still feeling lost.. where as even as a single before i loved it and although didn't always play..it didn't bother me.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Clubs havent got an issue. I think it's a change of outlook for me... and knowing that as it stands i cant see myself enjoying it again i feel im just loitering... i did last night enjoy a social night and helped a few newbies but i am still feeling lost.. where as even as a single before i loved it and although didn't always play..it didn't bother me."

Have you thought about taking a break from the scene?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see the point in going to a swingers club for a chat...isn't that defying the point? Okay you can chat to others and friends but realistically I can chat to my nan with a cuppa and biscuit would I wouldn't pay or see people having sex without having any myself

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

I went to my local club last weekend with no intention of playing, just went to be social.

Also you have no idea who will be there that night and if you fancy fucking them.

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By *oi_LucyCouple over a year ago

Barbados

We've found best approach for us is to go to a club with the expectation of just having a good evening socialising and any play is a bonus. This is just because you never know how the night is going to go. Sometimes there is just no-one that floats your boat (or you theirs). We often just enjoy playing ourselves as don't often get chance for wild noisy sex at home.

But for us swinging is as much about the social as the sex. So for us it is all part of it.

-Matt

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have you thought about taking a break from the scene?"
yes but as all my friends are in the scene and i dont see hardly anyone away from it.. its a big thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

Exactly why we stopped going.

If we want to socialise , we meet in a pub!

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go "

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

We have been to clubs where five people played and nearly a hundred never got undressed! they just went around with a wineglass in their hand and perved those playing. that is not a nice atmosphere to me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've only played with my FB so far at a club. I love the social aspect & feel safer than I do a club in my town centre thats the wierd thing.. played for years and years as a single but now... it just seems pointless but i do enjoy the social and will only meet anyone at clubs. I dont have vanilla friends lol "

You can look at it like this Cali ....

You go to the clubs , make it clear you don't want to play , and become a kind of part of the club team . The one who is world wise to the lifestyle , helping newbies find their feet and make new friends .

There will be a few who will criticise you , just as you may have done in the past when you went to clubs to play . But rise above that , enjoy yourself and feel worthwhile .

Once things settle down , who knows what may happen ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It seems to work for those who go though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To me it' about balance. Just like how many single men in a club at once. compared to couples/single ladies. If the balance is not right then it is not a good atmosphere. Again if no one plays then it looses the atmosphere. So socialising is fine unless that is all anyone does. Just my opinion etc. When we want to just socialise with swinging friends, we meet at a pub etc. Not a club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It seems to work for those who go though"

It's the fact that many swingers who like to play won't go though isn't it ?

Clubs would soon struggle if they just became glorified socials wouldn't they ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It seems to work for those who go though"

Unfortunately yes. Like swinging sites that have large memberships but many are long dead accounts.

When does a swingers club become just a social club?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I get that if there is nobody who tickles your fancy, then don't play on that occasion. And of course nobody should feel they gave to play. And indeed the social side of the swing scene is fabulous. But I'm curious as to why you want to attend a swingers club if you never intend to play ever. As one person said, if you want to socialise why not go to the pub? Is it that you prefer the company of swingers, or do you like being in a sexually charged atmosphere?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It seems to work for those who go though

It's the fact that many swingers who like to play won't go though isn't it ?

Clubs would soon struggle if they just became glorified socials wouldn't they ?

If people stop playing then swing clubs will be no different from an ordinary bar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we meet a lot of our swinging friends socially for meals or a drink, but at a pub etc.

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

We only go to play, but don't have a problem with people being there socially. Clearly if it got too social then you are right people who do want to play will stop going. But we are happy to see if we can encourage people sometimes

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't think there is any danger that a few people choosing to attend swinger clubs to catch up with friends socially will end up in all the clubs closing down. Sometimes we just want to relax without feeling we are expected to perform.

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By *orth_hantscplCouple over a year ago

camberley

I don't see there being an issue if you want to attend a club without playing. I can see why you'd want to go if you've got more swinging friends than vanilla friends as well.

We very rarely play with anybody at clubs to be honest, but we go with the flow and would if we got the chance, as somebody said further up its nice to be able to be noisy and do what we want without being disturbed......unless we want to be disturbed of course

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It seems to work for those who go though

It's the fact that many swingers who like to play won't go though isn't it ?

Clubs would soon struggle if they just became glorified socials wouldn't they ?

If people stop playing then swing clubs will be no different from an ordinary bar"

I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place"

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

I think nothing of going to my local club to socialise and meet up with with people. If they want to play then that's fantastic. If they don't want to play then it's never a problem. I personally prefer to meet people a few times before playing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think nothing of going to my local club to socialise and meet up with with people. If they want to play then that's fantastic. If they don't want to play then it's never a problem. I personally prefer to meet people a few times before playing"

But would you got to a club if you knew that NO one plays?

Thats the point. when does a swingers club just become a social club?

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

For me, swinging is sex and/or socialising with like minded people so it wouldn't bother me at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing. "

Then don't go then. I love clubs because of the anything goes atmosphere. There is no pressure to do anything or not to do anything or to go intending to do something and don't or intend to nothing and do. I think that's why people like them it's just not pressure fun. If i had someone like you sitting near me huffing and puffing because not many were playing it would put me right off attending again. Thankfully there aren't many like you and everyone is chilled and nice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing. "

I've seen plenty who do.

What I see happening a lot that I don't like is a swinging "holier than thou" attitude from people who do play regularly aimed at those who don't. Clubs are providing a service in that they provide a venue, not the obligation to shag.

Do you take as much issue with people who go to pubs but don't drink alcohol? They might as well stay at home right?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

someone always has to start insulting! sigh. What I am saying is that IF a swingers club ends up JUST being a social club, then it's no longer a swingers club! No one is saying you HAVE to play. But if NO ONE plays then it isn't a swingers club!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

I've seen plenty who do.

Do you take as much issue with people who go to pubs but don't drink alcohol? They might as well stay at home right?"

I am NOT saying that. I am saying there has to be balance! If NO swinging takes place how is it a swingers club?

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

But would you got to a club if you knew that NO one plays? I would yes meeting people and socialising with them is an important part to swinging for me. It's hard enough to even get anything started on the wonderful world of fab. By going to a club and getting to know someone makes it easier. And the people you get to meet then know you are genuine and not so bad

Thats the point. when does a swingers club just become a social club?"

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

I've seen plenty who do.

Do you take as much issue with people who go to pubs but don't drink alcohol? They might as well stay at home right?

I am NOT saying that. I am saying there has to be balance! If NO swinging takes place how is it a swingers club?"

It's an unlikely scenario, I think.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

I spent the firstb5 years of my swing life just socialising.

I've now been in scene nine and still Rarely play unless an experience or someone floats my boat

Who cares.. There's no right or wrong you are here for your own reasons no one else's

Enjoy xx

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It's a lifestyle not a free sex club lol

Go to a is ideal gang bang if yiu want guaranteed sex lol x

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

That's never going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

I wasn't being insulting. I think that you're being a bit over dramatic. Swingers clubs are still swingers clubs and people still play so I don't really see what your problem is? You seem to be poseing a scenario that isn't going to happen? Maybe they're aren't enough people playing for you personally but most other club goers seem happy by the tone of this thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

I've seen plenty who do.

Do you take as much issue with people who go to pubs but don't drink alcohol? They might as well stay at home right?

I am NOT saying that. I am saying there has to be balance! If NO swinging takes place how is it a swingers club?"

A) Because the people in there identify as swingers to some degree

B) The venues are licenced as swinging clubs/sexual venues not just your ordinary pub

I'd guess most working men's clubs aren't solely attended by employed men but they're still wmcs because that's what they identify as.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

It's a lifestyle not a free sex club lol

Go to a is ideal gang bang if yiu want guaranteed sex lol x "

We have never had a problem having sex if we want it thanks. If you want just socials, great. But if a swingers club ends up with people just socialising then it will decline. I have seen this happen.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

But would you got to a club if you knew that NO one plays?

Thats the point. when does a swingers club just become a social club?"
I would yes as I do like to get to know people first. It also shows people what you are really like. Trying to get anything going on here as you know is very difficult. All my verifications have been from getting to know people at clubs. And then playing at a later date. One last thing to remember is that when people have met you in person then they know you are genuine and you don't get tarnished with the single guy brush. So my advice is get yourself to the club and meet some people. Even if it is on a social side then go from there. What harm could it do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/16 20:56:50]

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

"To me it' about balance. Just like how many single men in a club at once. compared to couples/single ladies. If the balance is not right then it is not a good atmosphere. Again if no one plays then it looses the atmosphere. So socialising is fine unless that is all anyone does. Just my opinion etc. When we want to just socialise with swinging friends, we meet at a pub etc. Not a club."

And I'm going to correct you here again at cougarsandcubs the ratio male to female us very different and never the same sometimes 4 /5 to one .

Some nights there's a lot of play others hardly any and the guys bond make mates and return on other club nights ..

The reason it works on this night and not at other club single male nights is I do not discriminate and give everyone a chance and make everyone welcome

There's never aggro .there's no sleazy perverts and no wankers corner .

Swinging is supposed to be for the openminded

Yet few open theit minds and so many judge or stereotype xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Even if it is on a social side then go from there. What harm could it do?"

I am NOT against socialising. What I am not for is clubs where ONLY socialising takes place!

By all means socialise, but just as if there are a great unbalance of men to ladies, it tends to stop things working.

Balance in all things

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing. "

Hiw do you no they have no intention of playing

OR us it just they don't want to play with you

I've pulled the only here for social or mother nature card many a time when someone thinks we are all fair game ...

Sorry if I don't fancy you I ain't taking one for your team !!! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

Hiw do you no they have no intention of playing

OR us it just they don't want to play with you

I've pulled the only here for social or mother nature card many a time when someone thinks we are all fair game ...

Sorry if I don't fancy you I ain't taking one for your team !!! X "

Again no one expects you to. But AGAIN if EVERYONE is just socialising then it doesn't work.

You (for example) are not my type, so I would decline playing with you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

Hiw do you no they have no intention of playing

OR us it just they don't want to play with you

I've pulled the only here for social or mother nature card many a time when someone thinks we are all fair game ...

Sorry if I don't fancy you I ain't taking one for your team !!! X

Again no one expects you to. But AGAIN if EVERYONE is just socialising then it doesn't work.

You (for example) are not my type, so I would decline playing with you."

But it does work because the people socialising are happy just doing that

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By *ndykinkyMan over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

Events are about doing what you want and choose to do. If you want an evening of chatting, drinking and dancing rather than playing then you are free to do that.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

" Even if it is on a social side then go from there. What harm could it do?

I am NOT against socialising. What I am not for is clubs where ONLY socialising takes place!

By all means socialise, but just as if there are a great unbalance of men to ladies, it tends to stop things working.

Balance in all things

"
then the best thing is stay away from clubs that have loads of socialising. Also go to areas like the cinema rooms ect where you know there will be playing. If I was to go to say chams in Darlaston and I wanted to play then the cinema room, the room with the round bed or the couples room would be a place that I would go. And yes I am always with a female when I go there. If I want to socialise then I will be down in the bar if I want to chat to others. You just have to visit parts of the club, or clubs that suits your needs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

Hiw do you no they have no intention of playing

OR us it just they don't want to play with you

I've pulled the only here for social or mother nature card many a time when someone thinks we are all fair game ...

Sorry if I don't fancy you I ain't taking one for your team !!! X

Again no one expects you to. But AGAIN if EVERYONE is just socialising then it doesn't work.

You (for example) are not my type, so I would decline playing with you.

But it does work because the people socialising are happy just doing that "

Great! Glad they get fun from it.

Not for me. We meet at clubs that don't just socialise.

Everyone to their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Even if it is on a social side then go from there. What harm could it do?

I am NOT against socialising. What I am not for is clubs where ONLY socialising takes place!

By all means socialise, but just as if there are a great unbalance of men to ladies, it tends to stop things working.

Balance in all things

But it IS working so I don't see what the problem is? This is ONE person that doesn't play in clubs. At all. For everyone one of the op there will be loads of people that ARE open to play so no issue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Then the best thing is stay away from clubs that have loads of socialising. Also go to areas like the cinema rooms ect where you know there will be playing. If I was to go to say chams in Darlaston and I wanted to play then the cinema room, the room with the round bed or the couples room would be a place that I would go. And yes I am always with a female when I go there. If I want to socialise then I will be down in the bar if I want to chat to others. You just have to visit parts of the club, or clubs that suits your needs"

I agree totally. What I was saying is NOT no socialising, but if a club ends up with JUST socialising.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

whereas i and seen the exact opposite because people like to dip their toes in slowly, and the fact that clubs can be social does bring in people who would be super nervous otherwise.....

the problem for "some" is that sex is the be all and end all, and they judge a night as being a success or a failure based of how much sex they have had....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

Hiw do you no they have no intention of playing

OR us it just they don't want to play with you

I've pulled the only here for social or mother nature card many a time when someone thinks we are all fair game ...

Sorry if I don't fancy you I ain't taking one for your team !!! X

Again no one expects you to. But AGAIN if EVERYONE is just socialising then it doesn't work.

You (for example) are not my type, so I would decline playing with you.

But it does work because the people socialising are happy just doing that

Great! Glad they get fun from it.

Not for me. We meet at clubs that don't just socialise.

Everyone to their own."

It should be exactly this, but you're saying it's not working as a whole because it's not working for you which isn't in the spirit of your last sentence is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But it IS working so I don't see what the problem is? This is ONE person that doesn't play in clubs. At all. For everyone one of the op there will be loads of people that ARE open to play so no issue

Getting fed up of saying this! If some socialise, then fine, but if ALL socialise, then I believe there is a problem.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Getting fed up of saying this! If some socialise, then fine, but if ALL socialise, then I believe there is a problem."

But it's not happening???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It should be exactly this, but you're saying it's not working as a whole because it's not working for you which isn't in the spirit of your last sentence is it?"

No I am saying IF a club gets to the point of ONLY socialising then it has a problem. Just as parties.

If everyone just socialises all the time then how is it a swingers club?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone to their own but only if it's the exact way I want things to happen because otherwise it's not working and the swinging world is going to rack and ruin"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It should be exactly this, but you're saying it's not working as a whole because it's not working for you which isn't in the spirit of your last sentence is it?

No I am saying IF a club gets to the point of ONLY socialising then it has a problem. Just as parties.

If everyone just socialises all the time then how is it a swingers club?"

Because it identifies itself as a swingers club, the people inside it are swingers or interested in seeing what it is like.

Just because they don't swing like you do doesn't mean they aren't swingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But it's not happening??? "

Some clubs have come very close to it.

You could say there is not problem letting all single males in all the time. But many couples would not go (and don't hence couples only times).

Same (in my opinion) with socialising.

But this is just my opinion. We all have our own opinion and mine is just as valid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because it identifies itself as a swingers club, the people inside it are swingers or interested in seeing what it is like.

Interesting point. Are you a swinger if you never play?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because it identifies itself as a swingers club, the people inside it are swingers or interested in seeing what it is like.

Interesting point. Are you a swinger if you never play?"

Is a transgender person male/female if they don't have the "correct" anatomy? If that's how they identify, then yes.

I'd consider someone who doesn't play as a swinger if they said they were one. It's not for me to judge the worthiness of how someone labels themself

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

I have been to my usual club and on nights very little happens in terms of playing. I can then go again the following week and there are people everywhere playing. It depends what night you hit it. The beauty with clubs is you never get the same night at any of them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have gone to clubs and purely socialised, when Mr is away I go to clubs to catch up with friends and keep up to speed on things but have absolutely no intention on playing whilst there, I make it very clear it's a social event only for me and have never had any issues

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I repeat I am NOT against socialising. I am 'concerned' that IF ONLY socialising in a club happens all the time, then it is no longer a swingers club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love the social side of the swinging scene, I've sat and nattered with some smashing, interesting and bloody funny people. I would probably leave a club if I got the vibe that I was obligated to play even if my intention had always been to do so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/16 21:23:30]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally.I only frequent one club and I go there with absolutely no expectations at all.

I'm quite happy to stay in the bar, to be alone, to chat, to play alone or to play with others. Whatever happens happens..sometimes nothing does.

I have no idea whether or not I am frowned upon and,quite frankly,I don't care...I'm not harming anyone.I treat the club like any other bar (albeit a bar with mirrored playrooms upstairs).

I think it would be a problem if there WAS an expectation that you should play...it is, and should alwaysbe, a matter of personal choice in each individual circumstance.

xxGxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my days , why is everyone having a go at Phoenix ?

The guy is making a perfectly valid point , and hasn't been rude or disrespectful .

We said we stopped going to clubs as they had become way too much of a social event m rather than a safe place to play in . That's our choice .

It is a shame for those who want to play to find the club full of people who have predetermined they don't want to play .

A bit like the World Cup game where a nil nil draw saw both teams going through . 90 minutes with no tackles , no shots , and the dullest game ever .

But , as we said before , it's everyone's right to do what they want .

We find the whole socialising thing inane and boring to be honest . We aren't in the least bit interested in spending an evening chatting with those who have no intention of playing . So we don't go to clubs , and the lifestyle works very well for us .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I repeat I am NOT against socialising. I am 'concerned' that IF ONLY socialising in a club happens all the time, then it is no longer a swingers club."

So every patron of a working men's club had to be employed otherwise it's not a working men's club?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it would be a problem if there WAS an expectation that you should play...it is, and should alwaysbe, a matter of personal choice in each individual circumstance.

xxGxx

I am NOT saying there should be an expectation that you play. What I am saying and getting fed up of repeating, is that IF NO playing ever went on, how is it a swingers club? would you pay to go to a bar that you knew NO playing EVER went on?

Balance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I repeat I am NOT against socialising. I am 'concerned' that IF ONLY socialising in a club happens all the time, then it is no longer a swingers club.

So every patron of a working men's club had to be employed otherwise it's not a working men's club? "
Sigh No but SOME have to or it isn't a 'working mens club is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh my days , why is everyone having a go at Phoenix ?

The guy is making a perfectly valid point , and hasn't been rude or disrespectful .

We said we stopped going to clubs as they had become way too much of a social event m rather than a safe place to play in . That's our choice .

It is a shame for those who want to play to find the club full of people who have predetermined they don't want to play .

A bit like the World Cup game where a nil nil draw saw both teams going through . 90 minutes with no tackles , no shots , and the dullest game ever .

But , as we said before , it's everyone's right to do what they want .

I just disagree with his statements that they're not swingers clubs if there's no sex happening. They're swingers clubs because they are marketed as such and the people inside identify as swingers, they just don't have sex at clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I repeat I am NOT against socialising. I am 'concerned' that IF ONLY socialising in a club happens all the time, then it is no longer a swingers club.

So every patron of a working men's club had to be employed otherwise it's not a working men's club? Sigh No but SOME have to or it isn't a 'working mens club is it?"

I didn't see them changing their names when they were ridden with unemployed people. It's brand was still a wmc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just disagree with his statements that they're not swingers clubs if there's no sex happening. They're swingers clubs because they are marketed as such and the people inside identify as swingers, they just don't have sex at clubs"

Just googled the definition of swinging:

a person who dates/sleeps with multiple people at the same time.

So if no sex happens how is it swinging?

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I repeat I am NOT against socialising. I am 'concerned' that IF ONLY socialising in a club happens all the time, then it is no longer a swingers club."

but as others have said... thats not happening,

it may not be happening enough for YOU, but for others that maybe fine...

otherwise what you are saying to people is "stay away unless you play"... and for a community i like to think is inclusive.... that would be a sad day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We can agree to differ in views. So long as we all get out what we want from this, it is fine?

Or is it?

Some times it seems like some just want to troll and 'bash'.

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By *ndykinkyMan over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

[Removed by poster at 08/05/16 21:30:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just googled the definition of swinging:

a person who dates/sleeps with multiple people at the same time.

So if no sex happens how is it swinging?

Who says they have to do it in the club environment? They could be shagging like rabbits with any Tom, Dick and Harry off their Street. Sticking strictly to that definition, you could only be a swinger if you're in the middle.of having sex, meaning you're not one right now because you're using the forum and not balls deep in someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got to clubs often and find I'm not in the mood to play with anyone other than my boyfriend so just turns into a social

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have said my views. some disagree. That's fine, time will tell about clubs, As far as I can find out, they are a dying place (number, profit, etc.)

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By *obka3Couple over a year ago

bournemouth

we have been swinging for 12 years and went to our first club visit a couple of weeks ago as we had never done that, we met some lovely couples in the hot tub but we only played with each other, it seemed that there was a balance of those playing and those not, we will def go againg and will always hope to play IF we find someone we want to have sex with if not we will sit around clothed/half clothed or naked and have a great time meeting new poeple, cant do that in a pub

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I have said my views. some disagree. That's fine, time will tell about clubs, As far as I can find out, they are a dying place (number, profit, etc.)"

the ones that are dying are the ones not keeping up with the times, and the facilities that others are investing in...

those that are making those investments are being rewarded.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We both go to a club to socialise with like minded people, never any intention to play, but maybe when Mrs Marmite feels comfortable with everything then things may change.

We are perfectly ok in the club, and several others don't play either, it's a way of gaining some sort of interest in other people and a possibility of taking things further away from the crowds.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

What you are saying if there isn't any playing going on one week then it's not a swinging club. Then what happens the following weekend when there is loads of playing going on?

The beautiful thing when it comes to swinging especially at a club is there are no hard or fast rules in regards to playing.

Playing isn't compulsory no matter what club you go to. But with some people it is. Some nights you will get people who want to socialise. Some nights you will get people who want lots of sex. Some nights you will get a lot of newbies or first timers at a club. All nights are varied to what happens. I have been to parties where some nights no playing has taken place. And then the following party I have struggled to get a room anywhere. It's just luck of the draw what happens on that night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been to one with no intention of playing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What you are saying if there isn't any playing going on one week then it's not a swinging club."

No I am saying that IF it ever gets to the point of No playing EVERY night, then it isn't a swingers club any more.

Socialising is part of it for a lot. but there has to be balance in a club for it to work. Just as with single guys etc.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

There will always be playing at some club to a degree. If it's not happening where you go a change of venue could be worth a look at

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There will always be playing at some club to a degree. If it's not happening where you go a change of venue could be worth a look at"

The clubs and parties we go to have very little socialising going on. But to each their own.

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

So what are you looking from a club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

V here. I often go clubbing with no real intention to play, especially when I'm

on my own. Sometimes I end up playing anyway

but often I go just to meet people I know and soak up the sexy atmosphere. It's a more fun night out than just going to the pub.

I certainly wouldn't go to a club where there was an expectation I would be playing or not playing. I do as the mood takes me.

V xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"V here. I often go clubbing with no real intention to play, especially when I'm

on my own. Sometimes I end up playing anyway

but often I go just to meet people I know and soak up the sexy atmosphere. It's a more fun night out than just going to the pub.

I certainly wouldn't go to a club where there was an expectation I would be playing or not playing. I do as the mood takes me.

V xx "

No one is saying that you must play (although you say yourself you often do!).

If the club ends up with no one playing all the time, then I believe it has problems. Just as a lot of couples are put off if the number of single guys is more then couples.

A lot of couples only go to couples only nights. Others are more then happy to have loads of single guys around. But if a club always has 90% single guys, then it tends to end up with everyone not being happy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There will always be playing at some club to a degree. If it's not happening where you go a change of venue could be worth a look at

The clubs and parties we go to have very little socialising going on. But to each their own."

Which is great for the people you play with but not so great for others so clubs fill the gap between that and pubs

bingo! Everyone's happy

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

Chams is no single guys on a saturday after I think 7pm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chams is no single guys on a saturday after I think 7pm"

Exactly. If it wasn't a problem, they wouldn't do that.

All I am saying is that IF socialising goes the same way (i.e. out of balance), then it becomes a problem for clubs. In my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chams is no single guys on a saturday after I think 7pm

Exactly. If it wasn't a problem, they wouldn't do that.

All I am saying is that IF socialising goes the same way (i.e. out of balance), then it becomes a problem for clubs. In my opinion."

I'm not entirely sure how they would police a non socialising evening?

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

"Chams is no single guys on a saturday after I think 7pm

Exactly. If it wasn't a problem, they wouldn't do that.

All I am saying is that IF socialising goes the same way (i.e. out of balance), then it becomes a problem for clubs. In my opinion."
it's not really a problem as the other 6 days it is open single guys can go. Some clubs have a night devoted to just couples. But I know what you are saying in terms of not wanting single guys. One night out of seven shows there isn't too much of a problem with single guys

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

Well then continue as you are and don't go anymore, plenty play when there's the mutual attraction to, and there is such a fetish as voyerism some peoples kink is solely watching.

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By *reedy_for_funCouple over a year ago

My House

Unless we have actually arranged a meet at a club, the visit is usually a social and a chance to mingle with others. If we get lucky then all well and good but we don't go with the intention of getting 'lucky'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

Well then continue as you are and don't go anymore, plenty play when there's the mutual attraction to, and there is such a fetish as voyerism some peoples kink is solely watching. "

And watching is not just socialising. We do go to clubs that meet our wants and dont bother with the ones that don't.

It seems that my 'piint/opinion' is lost on some. Such is life.

I am not asking everyone to agree. The OP said about just socialising at a club. I have said that whilst that is fine, if everyone ONLY socialised, it wouldn't be a swingers club.

But this has (like most threads on here) gone around and around.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some use. Labs as a means of meeting people socially before deciding to play privately somewhere else at a letter time....there is absolutely NO problem in this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some use. Labs as a means of meeting people socially before deciding to play privately somewhere else at a letter time....there is absolutely NO problem in this."

Labs? Where did that typo come from?? Clubs of course!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok I give in!

Some seem to think I am saying that I am against socials in clubs. I am NOT.

But hey ho.

Time to bale this thread...

Have fun

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Really??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok I give in!

Some seem to think I am saying that I am against socials in clubs. I am NOT.

But hey ho.

Time to bale this thread...

Have fun"

Maybe you've not explained your point very well as it seems to be the only people that 'understand' are the ones that agree with you to a certain extent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok I give in!

Some seem to think I am saying that I am against socials in clubs. I am NOT.

But hey ho.

Time to bale this thread...

Have fun

Maybe you've not explained your point very well as it seems to be the only people that 'understand' are the ones that agree with you to a certain extent

Pm me and I will happily explain it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok I give in!

Some seem to think I am saying that I am against socials in clubs. I am NOT.

But hey ho.

Time to bale this thread...

Have fun

Maybe you've not explained your point very well as it seems to be the only people that 'understand' are the ones that agree with you to a certain extent

Pm me and I will happily explain it."

You're alright thanks. I think I'll just stay ignorant

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

What people are saying is they don't always go to clubs to play. And quite a lot of the time just go to socialise and meet new people there.

And what you ask is if all that happens at clubs is socialising then does it cease to exist to be a swingers club? And the answer to that question is no it doesn't stop being a swingers club. It will always be a swingers club. As swinging is revolved around the social aspect as well as the sex side.

If you want a pint go to a social club or pub. If you want to meet like minded people to chat to and possibly have sex there. Or arrange it for a later date then go to a swinging club.

The beauty is there are no specific requirements that you have to do. Everyone has their own requirements that they go to a club for

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

Really??

"
Trust you to pop up. Was lovely socialising with you the other night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's not fully what I am saying but never mind we can agree to differ.

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

"Ok I give in!

Some seem to think I am saying that I am against socials in clubs. I am NOT.

But hey ho.

Time to bale this thread...

Have fun

Maybe you've not explained your point very well as it seems to be the only people that 'understand' are the ones that agree with you to a certain extent

Pm me and I will happily explain it."

yoyr point isn't lost on me at thanks but your speaking in terms of a scenario that won't happen and to me from the biased stand point that people that don't choose to swing your way aren't swingers, you assume that because they aren't having sex with multiple partners on the night you choose to go they aren't promiscuous and therefore can't be a swinger by the definition you quoted earlier, it's simply not true.

At the end of the day you pay to use the clubs facilities nothing more, how you choose to use the facilities doesn't make you any more of less of a swinger by simply not playing. They are a safe neutral environment for engaging in the lifestyle as you or anyone else see fit

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man over a year ago

Brandon

A swinging club will always be a swinging club no matter what

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I've only been to a club twice and it did feel like there was a lot of socialising going on, which was great. That's what it's about for me at the moment. Going somewhere a bit different to meet like minded people.

I would play with the person I went with but wouldn't have any expectations of meeting anyone else but if I did, happy days

I don't think socialising in clubs should be frowned upon at all. In fact I chatted to a few people who said they don't play at clubs. If they do meet someone that takes their fancy they drag them back to their hotel....

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By *anSusieCouple over a year ago

Midlothian

"I went to LCs while pregnant just for the social side everyone I came across was fine with it there's no written law that's says you must play when you go

There isn't. But IF everyone just socialises and NO ONE plays, then it isn't really a swingers club any more is it?

Susie and I go to clubs, generally with the intention of playing. If it doesn't work out we will play on our own in the couples room. I have to agree with the above comment that lots of people watching is off putting. I have no problem if those couples are touching/kissing each other, but stood watching half in half out the door is a not sexy. We sometimes play in a private room, but as we have made the effort to go to a club, I quite like to at least play with Susie whilst others play with their partners even if we don't swap.

I do understand everyone can choose and do their own thing, but if you're going to watch me, at least have the decency to play with yourself

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

All those poor single men paying the highest prices for club entry to try and chat to couples and single females who have no intention whatsoever of having sex.

And yes, I know you shouldn't attend a club with the expectation of sex, but, you'd like to think others had the intention of having sex, even if they decided it wasn't going to be with you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

Exactly why we stopped going.

If we want to socialise , we meet in a pub!"

That wouldn't work for us because our local pub wouldn't be very keen on us sitting there in a towel and nor do they have a jacuzzi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know of any ordinary bars that have beds and dungeon equipment. The opportunity to play is still there, they're not going to vanilla up the place

Agreed but that assumes that you MAY play. I have seen far to many people at clubs that have NO intention of playing.

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By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Just my 2p-worth. Some US states only allow "off-premises" swingers clubs. I.e. people go to these clubs to meet other swingers, and arrange to meet later at another venue, to play.

As far as I am aware, all UK clubs are "on-premises" clubs (i.e. play is allowed in the club), but US off-premises clubs are no less swingers clubs, just because no-one is playing. People still go to those clubs to make contact with other adults, for sex.

So to me, there is absolutely no problem with going to a swingers club and just socialising. Even if everyone in the club is just socialising, they are still making new contacts with other swingers - something that can't be done in mainstream pubs (because no-one knows which patrons of mainstream pubs are swingers, and a punch on the nose often offends LOLOL)

So yes, a swingers club where no-one plays is still a swingers club.

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

I have found that sometimes if you have a social and become friends it to me (fem) takes the edge off slightly, the excitement of a drink or two then off to play is exciting, but it is nice to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have found that sometimes if you have a social and become friends it to me (fem) takes the edge off slightly, the excitement of a drink or two then off to play is exciting, but it is nice to meet people."

Fully agree ( female )

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By *awtynNiceCouple over a year ago

…

Not at all,we know lots of people who use clubs like their local pub, a great place to relax with like minded people and obviously there is always an option to play if the opportunity and inclination arise. Have fun x

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By *XHNHWoman over a year ago

Stokeish...

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

Nope I regularly go to parties/clubs and don't play/intend to play-always have

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By *rishmocha2Couple over a year ago

Beds

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

We never go with any intentions. To me (mocha) swinging is not just play, I enjoy the social side just as much, we go to some clubs just to dance & have a drink. If you're happy just socialising, then do just that.

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By *ondonerMan over a year ago

London / Essex borders

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

I always attend clubs with the aim of having a good night out, chatting to people and making no expectations. Should I meet someone fun, and playing happens, great, but I never set foot in the club with that as my aim.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

I wouldn't have thought so, if you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it. I don't see why just being somewhere would be considered teasing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

I understand nothing is given, you go to talk and see what happens but play does not always happen, I've been to a club a few times and not played because I haven't found anybody I've liked who's also liked me, it happens, but if you have told yourself before hand im not playing why not just go to the pub, I don't get why you would go to a sex club if you have no interest in sex

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

But all her friends are at the sex club, she's gone to be with them. Whats the point of going to a pub just to sit on your own ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

But all her friends are at the sex club, she's gone to be with them. Whats the point of going to a pub just to sit on your own ?"

What a odd thing to say

I don't know about you but I have friends that are none swinging related, if I go to the pub I don't go alone

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By *XHNHWoman over a year ago

Stokeish...

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

Because you can just enjoy being around people who are kinky and like minded. I've been going to clubs on and off for 16 years, I have probably only played in clubs and parties 25% of the time, but I love being around people who are filthy and making contacts etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

Each to their own I guess

But if your going to a swingers club with no intentions of playing I wouldn't say you was with like minded people

I'm not saying it's wrong or that people shouldnt do it, im not that arrogant I would dream of telling others what to do, I'm just saying I don't get why people with no interest in having sex would go to a swingers club

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

But all her friends are at the sex club, she's gone to be with them. Whats the point of going to a pub just to sit on your own ?

What a odd thing to say

I don't know about you but I have friends that are none swinging related, if I go to the pub I don't go alone

hows that odd, not everyone has a wide circle of friends. Some people just have a close circle of friends, usually with similar interests.but now her interest has changed for the moment does she get rid of her friends?

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By *XHNHWoman over a year ago

Stokeish...

Each to their own I guess

But if your going to a swingers club with no intentions of playing I wouldn't say you was with like minded people

Because isn't that the beauty of swinging-that it encompasses people's different desires etc? There are people who visit who are purely voyueristic but others who enjoy being watched. There are those who are from the fet scene and cross over into swing clubs. There are TVs and CD's who are more bothered about having a safe space to be dressed up than playing.

Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean you don't contribute to the club atmosphere, even if it's reassuring new fems or couples that there's no pressure etc.

I do play etc, but generally go with the intention of socialising, then if I chose to play it's a bonus, rather than expecting to play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

But all her friends are at the sex club, she's gone to be with them. Whats the point of going to a pub just to sit on your own ?

What a odd thing to say

I don't know about you but I have friends that are none swinging related, if I go to the pub I don't go alone

Fair enough I guess I just assumed everybody had friends outside of swinging, it seems odd to me to suggest people didn't have friends before they were a swingers

What did they do before they started swinging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People should concentrate on their own enjoyment. Had to laugh at a previous post, stating poor men having to pay higher prices and not necessarily guaranteed sex. Tough. Attending a swinging club is not a guarantee for sex.

I have enjoyed my visits to a club and the social side especially. Chatting to like minded people and not feeling pressured. Anyone who thinks people should only attend if they are actively participating in sex needs to mind their own business.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Fair enough I guess I just assumed everybody had friends outside of swinging, it seems odd to me to suggest people didn't have friends before they were a swingers

What did they do before they started swinging

Well it all depends on how long some ones been swinging I suppose

If you been in the scene a short time then yes you probably do have close friends outside it. On the other hand if you been in the scene 10,20,30,40 years its perfectly plausible to only have close friends that are only in the scene. I think I've used the word scene too many times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why anybody would want to go to a club if they had no intentions of playing

Well no pubs near us have a jacuzzi so we go Chams to use theirs.

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

Ok after reading the thread here is my 2p

For me a lot of friends of similar age have kids and wife's. This means they don't want to go clubbing or meeting women

For me I use the club scene as an operutnity to have sex with like minded peoples if I am lucky, watch people have sex, have a few drinks in an environment that I would concider safe (long story). I get to have a boogie and dress up in often fancy dress

I have often been to a club night when only chat has happened and no play but we have kept in contact and played at a later date.

I think what makes clubs great is that you can chat and socialise if you want, you can have sex if you want, you can be watched if you want, you can chill in a jacuzzi if you want

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By *ocoTemptationMan over a year ago

london

Maybe its an age and experience thing but these days when I go to a club I am more likely to socialise than play.

I am more interested in meeting old friend, getting to know people and seeing if there might be some chemistry with anyone new that I might happen to chat with. If there is then I let things progress at a natural pace.

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

"People should concentrate on their own enjoyment. Had to laugh at a previous post, stating poor men having to pay higher prices and not necessarily guaranteed sex. Tough. Attending a swinging club is not a guarantee for sex."

Re-read the post you found so humorous. The subtext was it is tough on single men paying premium entry to go to a club where couples and single women go with absolutely no intention of playing. Nothing about sex being guaranteed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is thia frowned upon...and by that I mean never any intention to play...

Im finding myself in the curious situation that i have no desire to play at all. And the longer it is.. the less inclined I am.

I have made it clear on my profile and honest to people messaging but had quite a few saying I'm just teasing by going to stuff "

Gutted you took my comment the wrong way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the point in going if you have no intention of playing? Go to a normal club if you want a night out to socialise

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the point in going if you have no intention of playing? Go to a normal club if you want a night out to socialise"

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By *insbury Park FabberMan over a year ago

London

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

Exactly why we stopped going.

If we want to socialise , we meet in a pub!

That wouldn't work for us because our local pub wouldn't be very keen on us sitting there in a towel and nor do they have a jacuzzi

The clubs do vary quite a lot and not all of them have facilities like jacuzzis. You'd look a bit odd wearing a towel at, say, Torture Garden

For some of the clubs, dedicated play areas are essentially what the facilities consist of.

As an aside, pubs vary too, of course. My local's quite easy-going and they probably wouldn't mind anyone sitting in there in a towel. However, you'd be lucky to get out alive if you admitted to being a Spurs fan...

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation. "

We are regulars in several clubs, and in two and a half years I don't think we've ever "not played". Sometimes we don't find anyone to play with and just enjoy each others company, but we don't just go for a chat.

What we have noticed is that people like to chat for a while before moving on to the play areas, but there rarely seems to be many who don't play at all.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok after reading the thread here is my 2p

For me a lot of friends of similar age have kids and wife's. This means they don't want to go clubbing or meeting women

I have often been to a club night when only chat has happened and no play but we have kept in contact and played at a later date.

I think what makes clubs great is that you can chat and socialise if you want, you can have sex if you want, you can be watched if you want, you can chill in a jacuzzi if you want "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

Exactly why we stopped going.

If we want to socialise , we meet in a pub!

That wouldn't work for us because our local pub wouldn't be very keen on us sitting there in a towel and nor do they have a jacuzzi

The clubs do vary quite a lot and not all of them have facilities like jacuzzis. You'd look a bit odd wearing a towel at, say, Torture Garden

For some of the clubs, dedicated play areas are essentially what the facilities consist of.

We only go Chams so there is no problem with us looking out of place wearing a towel.

We are definetly NOT spurs fans ! We are fans of the Prem League Champions

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By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"What's the point in going if you have no intention of playing? Go to a normal club if you want a night out to socialise"

The point is... going to a swingers club to socialise WITH OTHER SWINGERS (and maybe shag em later or next time

) If you go to a normal club, you are socialising with non-swingers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the point in going if you have no intention of playing? Go to a normal club if you want a night out to socialise"

Because I want a night out to socialise at a swingers club.

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By *ngie1962Couple over a year ago

Bedford

Why pay to go in a club to just socialise pubs are free you only pay for drinks in them at clubs you either take your own or pay for them so it makes it a expensive night out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the point in going if you have no intention of playing? Go to a normal club if you want a night out to socialise

The point is... going to a swingers club to socialise WITH OTHER SWINGERS (and maybe shag em later or next time

) If you go to a normal club, you are socialising with non-swingers."

But the OP has said she never has any intentions of having sex in a club again

Going to a club with no expectations and seeing if you find somebody to shag later or another time and going with no intentions to ever play isnt really the same

Both are OK of course and its upto the individual where you go but I personally would see no point going to a swingers club if I was no longer swinging, if I was off sex I'd sooner go to a normal pub with my everyday friends

So even though it's perfectly OK I do find it odd why somebody who has packed 'swinging' sex up would go to a swingers club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

We agree, if too many people go just to socialise then what's the point of a swingers club?....might as well meet at a pub, those who want to play need likeminded people to make the evening worthwhile, if we want to just socialise we meet friends, if we want to fuck other people we go to a club!.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The last time I went to a club there appeared to be barely any playing, just couples meeting for social conversation.

This became common about two years ago , and it's exactly why we haven't been to a club since .

Of course it's up to everyone to choose what they want to do ( or not ) , and we choose not to go .

Well the last time I was out at the pub it probably would have been frowned upon (although I live in the countryside in Wiltshire so maybe not) to watch a guy getting fucked up the arse by a fucking machine.

V xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn't it up to the individuals what they use a club for?

We never go to clubs with intentions to play because you'll just end up having a crap night if you don't. We find it better to go for social side and if you do get to play it's a welcomed bonus.

As some have said on this post if you only want to socialise go to a pub same can be said for those if you want to play have a party at home.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So even though it's perfectly OK I do find it odd why somebody who has packed 'swinging' sex up would go to a swingers club "

because she's made some friends there? I made a few friends at Quest but am unlikely to see them socially as they don't live near me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read what you said and still stand by my comments. As a single female I also pay to attend a club. However I go without expectations. I'm sure there are other establishments you can attend with a guarantee of sex. I mean how awful to pay a "premium" to attend a swinging club and not get your end away

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe its an age and experience thing but these days when I go to a club I am more likely to socialise than play.

Nice to hear a more considered approach. Nothing worse than desperate swingers who feel it's their right to have sex because they pay a "premium" jeez

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

[Removed by poster at 10/05/16 23:27:45]

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

That's fine but sometimes there isn't anybody you want to fuck so it's still good to socialize although I only tend to go when events or on.#

Each to their own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wish we'd keep on top of reading this debate seems it got interesting.

A little late night reading for later

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