FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Being Real and talking
Being Real and talking
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Its funny, when I first used to come on these sites I was so nervous. Scared of the worst that could happen. What if the people on here are insane, or criminals waiting to mug me when we meet. What if I see someone I know, or worse that they see me?
What if, what if...
The worst what if though is what if no one wants to play with me, an in a lot of cases thats the truth. Most couples want women. Most women want guys with 50 inch penises a porche and there own private play room. No actually thats not entirely true, most women want what most men want, a hot partner who knows how to please and who looks good.
Ive had very few meets off fab, it kinda sucks. Especially when I consider that when I have met the same people in person at Xtasia or events we normally end up playing.
I know its my personality that makes me attractive.
I guess its the curse of the internet. Pictures and a few words dont really convey anything about the person, not even the sound of their voice. How could anyone tell anything about anyone other than the very first attraction of yes or no from just a picture.
Thats what we are doing on this site, playing a game of yes or no with people who we could possibly fuck or even get to know.
Thats not real and frankly its a bit boring.
Yeah ok its fine to ignore the people you know you arent going to want to play with. But the best sex and experiences come from connecting mentally and physically
with like minded kinkster.
This isnt about my own experiences, I have had some great sexual fun in the last 3 years. Its about how people should make more of an effort to get to know people. Because if all you see is a cock or a pair of boobs then you are missing out on so much more.
Great sex comes through connecting with the other person, learning what they like and what they dont. So make an effort people!
You can either go through the motions or you can open up with people and find something amazing.
Be real. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well said. 
Some people here just want the pretty, slim, young etc... but when you actually get to know someone by meeting them, it can be soo much more fun.
Personality over looks from our view. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Excellent points made about real meetings versus cyber contact - totally agree. We have has far better meets in the last 6 months because we have set some time aside to meet socially before playing, to chat on phone too about likes and dislikes and to be open about personality quirks and our kinky desires - one thing has surprised us - one person's kink can be either another persons nightmare or their normal mode or their best ever fantasy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately,I don't have enough time or patience to chat with everyone,to see if I like their personality. There has to be some kind of facial attraction and I'm not put off by any body pics they send. Unless I see a face animated,that I wouldn't be attracted to by a pic,I won't feel any attraction. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Yes, but there has to be some sort of criteria we use to start off with. If the initial contact doesn't attract, then how do we know that subsequent messages will? I run the risk of getting into a conversation with a guy who is not only unattractive to me physically, but turns out to be unattractive mentally as well. Much more difficult to extricate myself from those.
Also, most people are here for NSA. Not all by any means, but most. If I was after a relationship I would exert a bit more effort to get to know someone but I'm not. If I wanted a relationship I would be on another, more suitable site.
We all use the site the way we want to. The OP believes that he would be more successful if people are willing to chat or meet socially first. That's great - there are many people on this site in the West Midlands area, and several clubs too. Plenty of opportunities for social meets. I don't have that luxury so have to make snap decisions which don't always work out. I find in the long run it tends to work itself out. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Its funny, when I first used to come on these sites I was so nervous. Scared of the worst that could happen. What if the people on here are insane, or criminals waiting to mug me when we meet. What if I see someone I know, or worse that they see me?
What if, what if...
The worst what if though is what if no one wants to play with me, an in a lot of cases thats the truth. Most couples want women. Most women want guys with 50 inch penises a porche and there own private play room. No actually thats not entirely true, most women want what most men want, a hot partner who knows how to please and who looks good.
Ive had very few meets off fab, it kinda sucks. Especially when I consider that when I have met the same people in person at Xtasia or events we normally end up playing.
I know its my personality that makes me attractive.
I guess its the curse of the internet. Pictures and a few words dont really convey anything about the person, not even the sound of their voice. How could anyone tell anything about anyone other than the very first attraction of yes or no from just a picture.
Thats what we are doing on this site, playing a game of yes or no with people who we could possibly fuck or even get to know.
Thats not real and frankly its a bit boring.
Yeah ok its fine to ignore the people you know you arent going to want to play with. But the best sex and experiences come from connecting mentally and physically
with like minded kinkster.
This isnt about my own experiences, I have had some great sexual fun in the last 3 years. Its about how people should make more of an effort to get to know people. Because if all you see is a cock or a pair of boobs then you are missing out on so much more.
Great sex comes through connecting with the other person, learning what they like and what they dont. So make an effort people!
You can either go through the motions or you can open up with people and find something amazing.
Be real."
you look and sound lovely..im sorry im not closer xx |
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How about we all meet by the method we prefer and make an effort in the way that suits us best? I understand of course that face to face contact opens up the possibility of play with many more people but lots of us prefer to narrow who we meet down based on looks (yep call me shallow) then make the social contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had social only with 3 men and that was all it ever was. Sometimes we have had a drink and/or something to eat before we have sex,but sex was always going to happen. |
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I agree with whoever said earlier in thread about us each making our own mind up on how we choose people, that is how it is meant to be.Im just suggesting that sometimes its about looking a little closer before we decide no and speaking/messaging to talk a little first. We can all tell a definite no, but sometimes we think no just because, I think we lose out a bit when we do that. |
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"I agree with whoever said earlier in thread about us each making our own mind up on how we choose people, that is how it is meant to be.Im just suggesting that sometimes its about looking a little closer before we decide no and speaking/messaging to talk a little first. We can all tell a definite no, but sometimes we think no just because, I think we lose out a bit when we do that."
In my opinion it entirely depends what you're looking for  |
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I totally understand where you're coming from but I also believe that it's up to me as to how I run my profile and decide on who I will or will not chat to with a view to meeting.
I make that initial judgement call on their pic, their first message and the content of their profile. I'm not looking for an Adonis...just someone who I find attractive...and we all like different things.
If I miss out on meeting some great people then it's my loss...but I've got to draw a line somewhere otherwise I'd never have time for real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I completely agree. I had a social meet today. But we've spent the last two weeks messaging back and forth and spoken for hours on the phone, getting to know each other. There definitely needs to be that extra connection for me. But I suppose its more fitting to what I am personally seeking on this site . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Websites don't work for me. I'm shit on the Internet. I don't have pics or profile text as long as my arm.
Why on earth would I blame other people for taking one look and not wanting to meet me?
I am real. I have a personality that some people like. I've found what works for me, I don't try and change other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get everything that has been mentioned above some points i agree with some i dont. The thing i find personally is that the rate of being declined or ignored has risen due to the over saturation of people popping in for a fuck. The site is more of a lifestyle.... |
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