FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > job question taboo?
job question taboo?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just read on another thread that it was/is considered taboo to ask what someone does for a living, i didnt know this and have often asked just as im a bit nosey/interested and also like to able to chat with someone about themselves and work is often an important factor in peoples lives and in their perception of themselves.
i dont ask this to make it common knowledge although being completley honest it might on occassion colour my judgement of someone and influence my decision to meet or not.
im proud of my work and dont mind anyone knowing!
Is this still considered taboo?
what would you feel if asked this?
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For me it would vary, if i met someone in a club it wouldnt cross my mind to even think what they did for a living.
Meeting someone at home i have already gotten to know them before i meet, mostly ive known what they do for a living before ive met them. What someone does for a living has never influenced me one way or another although some definetly come with perks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who said it's taboo ?
Where is the thread please ?"
we seen it on another thread,though were a builder and teacher and not really arsed about people knowing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cement is powder dear and would pass throo most things!!
add water sand and aggregate and you have concrete.
"
Yes dear, I know cement is powder dear, that's why I said it'd fall through your tights dear.
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians."
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs "
One paragraph down on the piece you quote says ...... D 'j ing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs "
ok if you really wanna know i run music projects for kids who have been excluded from school, to try and keep them in some kind of education and after school projects to give teens something to do and somewhere safe to socialise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs
One paragraph down on the piece you quote says ...... D 'j ing"
Indeed it does. |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs
ok if you really wanna know i run music projects for kids who have been excluded from school, to try and keep them in some kind of education and after school projects to give teens something to do and somewhere safe to socialise"
Just what the answer from Google threw up for me said then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs
ok if you really wanna know i run music projects for kids who have been excluded from school, to try and keep them in some kind of education and after school projects to give teens something to do and somewhere safe to socialise"
I take no delight in pointing out that that sounds like a prime candidate for takeover by the Big Society. |
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"I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians."
I disagree. There are DJs, such as James Zabiela, who are very creative musically and who I'd class as musicians.
Also, hip hop DJs should be classed as musicians... even though I'm not a fan of that genre of music.
Speaking as someone who has played guitar for more years than I care to remember, I don't think you have to know how play an instrument in order to be classed as a musician. That's why I even class drummers as musicians |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont mind been asked what I do, and depending on how comfortable I am with people the answer will range from vague to pretty exact.
Likewise, if I ask someone else and they dont want to say then thats cool, everyone has their way of doing things.
S. |
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"ok if you really wanna know i run music projects for kids who have been excluded from school, to try and keep them in some kind of education and after school projects to give teens something to do and somewhere safe to socialise"
Awesome - you've got my respect for that.
I love everything about music - listening to it, playing it, DJing (which I'm doing whilst writing this post), understanding theory, etc... etc... etc...
I think it's great that you're giving under-privileged kids something that will remain with them for life, and presumably keeping them off the streets doing dodgy shit. |
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Oh yeah, back on topic...
I don't think it's taboo to discuss people's careers and whilst I'm happy to discuss my job with individuals I wouldn't go into too much detail on the forums about what I do and where I do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In normal (poor choice of wording, I mean non-swinging) meetings it is quite usual to discuss your work or career.
However there are a lot of employers who would take a dim view of their employees engaging in swinging activities (the fact that swinging is legal would be completely irrelevant).
Therefore I'm sure that there are a large number of people on this website who, at the very least, would be uncomfortable discussing their work.
You can be totally relaxed about the lifestyle, but that doesn't mean that you want to risk your job over it.
Obviously I'm not talking from a personal perspective, no way  Just imagining how others may feel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your job?
im a musician and a community musician
I had to Google 'community musician'.
The first entry talks about DJing.
DJs ain't musicians.
I had to Google it after you Googled it and came up with that answer
The first answer Google threw up for me was this -
"Community musicians are musicians (vocalists and instrumentalists) who work with groups of people to help them make music together"
No mention whatsoever about DJs
ok if you really wanna know i run music projects for kids who have been excluded from school, to try and keep them in some kind of education and after school projects to give teens something to do and somewhere safe to socialise
I take no delight in pointing out that that sounds like a prime candidate for takeover by the Big Society."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In normal (poor choice of wording, I mean non-swinging) meetings it is quite usual to discuss your work or career.
However there are a lot of employers who would take a dim view of their employees engaging in swinging activities (the fact that swinging is legal would be completely irrelevant).
Therefore I'm sure that there are a large number of people on this website who, at the very least, would be uncomfortable discussing their work.
You can be totally relaxed about the lifestyle, but that doesn't mean that you want to risk your job over it.
Obviously I'm not talking from a personal perspective, no way Just imagining how others may feel "
yes obviously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meeting someone at home i have already gotten to know them before i meet, mostly ive known what they do for a living before ive met them. "
Likewise, however, what someone does for a living does influence me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who asks. If some randomer comes out of the blue and asks then I might not tell them, but if they seem cool and we've been talking a bit then it's no secret. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am reluctant to say. Not because of swinging, but the number of times I then get asked about soem computer problem they have!"
Sounds like a modern day porno plumber opportunity |
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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
Oh we didn't know that who they work for was taboo either
We even say openly on our profile who we work for
As a slight aside - what are the most peculiar professions you have 'come across' while swinging.
We've played with a lumberjack (female) though she called herself a tree-surgeon and most bizarrely we thought - a cheese grader at a large dairy - (who tastes cheese for a living)
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind anyone asking me what I do for a living, in fact I always hope they do .. I'm not proud where my work comes from and if by them asking it gets me a bit of work, then I'm cool with that.
The best Mrs Red could offer is a pair of specs and an eyesight test |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i work in a public place,in my town.i have told a couple of men id met this,and where,and they have been in to see me,whn i was working!this was embarrasing.1 man,told a couple of people he knew,about me,that i was a swinger,and where i worked.they came in to see me,then later messaged me through the site,saying they had seen what i looked like at work,but hadnt spoken to me,and would i meet them!I was a bit freaked out by that,said no,and blocked them!
so now i am very cagy about saying what i do for a job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a tricky one.
Given that you work in a public place where a previous meet could, wholly innocently, stumble across you I don't know whether it's better to warn them in advance or keep quiet and hope it never happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our eldest daughter has a great way of putting people off askingabout her job.
She is IT manager in a path lab.
So she tells people she works with dead bodies lol I have told people I am a tax inspector before now at parties!? |
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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago
harrow |
Spending an evening at a club last week, never considered asking what anyone did for a living. There are more interesting subjects to talk about.
I find being asked what I do for a job quite stressful. If I'm the high powered chief exec of some FTSE company, do people think I'm stuck up and not in the real world. If I'm in a mundane low paid dead end job, are people going to avoid being associated with me? Generally, I play it down and keep whatever I do vague.
So, on balance, if asking someone about their work isn't taboo, perhaps it should be. |
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When I used to work for a large pet retail chain, I'd always avoid saying who I worked for, because I'd usually end up being asked for advise about their pets.
So I'd just say retail manager.
Now I work for a large trade/DIY company, I just get asked if I can get discount on power tools, so I still stick with the standard retail manager answer, its a lot easier. |
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By *DD1EMan
over a year ago
sea |
I don't mind telling people what I do for a job, I think most of what I do is on my profile, you just have to read between the lines a little. Although sayinf that people know what I do but not where I do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get irritated by the 'interview' technique of those who cannot discuss anything ......and I mean anything and so resort to the .~what do you do? where do you live ? do you meet many people ? type of talk.
It's not conversation. It's a series of bloody Q's .....
I can talk to a prospective meet and never once ask them a personal Q .....and that's the way I like it. |
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