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Options needed m and f!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok guys I'd love some feedback, I'll keep it short and sweet.
I was seeing a beautiful girl for about the last 2 months, everything about her was great.
But she had an ex who she met on holidays in oz three years ago (dated for 3months) and they are best of friends now, talk every day, send pictures etc etc and WAIT FOR IT recently went to Cuba for 10 nights (before I was with her) and shared a bed the whole way to cut costs!! I asked her was she with him she said Ofcourse not! And said she had no reason to lie.
About two weeks ago she went on a weekend to London where she is from to meet friends and stayed in his bed!! Said he stayed on couch...they went for dinner, went to the lion king, and out together as well as meeting other male friends. She said I don't understand as I have never travelled lol
Anyway we talked the weekend and I said I'd never accept this guy if we were to get serious and she said well he will always be around I love him! But I'd never be with him I have no attraction to him whatsoever!
I asked when she gets married will he be there, she said yes.
So lads would you have an ex of your wives at your wedding?
We ended up finishing and she said I have the problem. What do u fabbers think?
Was I too jealous and insecure, or surely no man can put up with that shit!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok guys I'd love some feedback, I'll keep it short and sweet.
I was seeing a beautiful girl for about the last 2 months, everything about her was great.
But she had an ex who she met on holidays in oz three years ago (dated for 3months) and they are best of friends now, talk every day, send pictures etc etc and WAIT FOR IT recently went to Cuba for 10 nights (before I was with her) and shared a bed the whole way to cut costs!! I asked her was she with him she said Ofcourse not! And said she had no reason to lie.
About two weeks ago she went on a weekend to London where she is from to meet friends and stayed in his bed!! Said he stayed on couch...they went for dinner, went to the lion king, and out together as well as meeting other male friends. She said I don't understand as I have never travelled lol
Anyway we talked the weekend and I said I'd never accept this guy if we were to get serious and she said well he will always be around I love him! But I'd never be with him I have no attraction to him whatsoever!
I asked when she gets married will he be there, she said yes.
So lads would you have an ex of your wives at your wedding?
We ended up finishing and she said I have the problem. What do u fabbers think?
Was I too jealous and insecure, or surely no man can put up with that shit!?"
You have a problem...
Have you never heard of a platonic relationship?
The fact she chose to tell u about proved she thought you might trust her....but obviously not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You were seeing her while you were a member on here looking for sex with women and you have such a problem with a platonic friend she was open with you about that you dumped her?
Can you see any irony in this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a platonic relationship with the man I was married to for 25 years. I could go on holiday with him, sleep in the same room, nothing sexual at all.
If you have never experienced it, I guess it is hard to accept. It can and does happen though  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You were seeing her while you were a member on here looking for sex with women and you have such a problem with a platonic friend she was open with you about that you dumped her?
Can you see any irony in this? "
Joined this site but was not on it again until today |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
You probably over thought it. Just out of interest what do you expect to gain by being here. You know this isn't a dating sight as such
And your more than likely to bump into more females with male friends |
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I still speak to an ex of mine from 14 years ago he is a good friend of mine my husband knows all about it. A Lad I had slept with before me and my husband was together was at my wedding as he is a friend of both of ours. My husband also knew I had had sexual relationships with him in the past. She could of lied to you but she didn't so it seems like she has nothing to hide. I should also add 2 girls who my husband had had relationships with were also at my wedding (as we are all friends) wasn't a problem for me or him you can still be just friends with people who you have previously dated. Personally I wouldn't go off and sleep in their beds with then and wouldn't like if my husband was doing that with the girls I mentioned. But the rest of it seems normal to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If she's giving him more intimacy than you then i'd worry there's a problem.
Otherwise there's probably nothing more than friends with their relationship now and she isn't lying to you.
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You two weren't suited. People tend to invest others with their own motives so she will have assumed that you would have no problem with her having a platonic relationship with a man while you assume that it must be sexual. I'm not criticising either of you just pointing out that you aren't compatible. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I have a lot of male friends, and I've slept with all of them.
It doesn't matter if she was telling the truth or not - you would have always struggled with their relationship so it wouldn't have lasted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a different angle, I said the same sort of thing to my exhub about a long term was lover but then just a friend. We still are friends but I found when things wasn't going great with my exhub it was the friend I turned to. Not sexually but it still made a sticky mess. So I'm not completely convinced that exfriends/lovers can totally keep out of New relationships xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know her so I can't speak directly to your situation, but...
I have a really really good male friend. When Marc and I were dating I would stay with my friend whenever I felt like it. I've never done anything sexual with him and I never would but he was and is an amazingly good friend. Marc trusts me so there wasn't ever an issue.
It comes down to the two of you, in the end. But a completely platonic close relationship is possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a platonic relationship with the man I was married to for 25 years. I could go on holiday with him, sleep in the same room, nothing sexual at all.
If you have never experienced it, I guess it is hard to accept. It can and does happen though "
Yes, this. I love my ex husband. Very, very much. But no attraction there at all. I'd never have believed it if I hadn't experienced it, mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion if she was serious about you she would not put herself in a position that would cause u to feel uncomfortable.
Yes they can still be friends but why sleep in his bed knowing it makes you uncomfortable?? You respect her need to be friends she respects your feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She was honest from the outset and I don't think you should expect anyone to change because they're with you. On the same note you can't change your views therefore you guys were incompatible.
For the record one of my best friends is my ex, she's a girls, does her sex make a difference? |
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I was still on the best of terms with my ex, when he was in a 5 year relationship with someone else. Everything was almost the same as when we were together, just without the intimacy. It's hard to do it that way, much easier to cut ties and never see them again, but the end result is a close friendship, not an awkward moment when meeting in the future.
So, yes it's possible to have a close friendship with an ex and yes I would invite an ex to my wedding. Actually, a previous long term ex is a top class chef, so that's the wedding cake sorted too. LOL.
As far as the other guy is concerned, have you socialised together, just the two of you? Getting to know him from a different perspective usually helps a lot, especially if it's on neutral territory, somewhere neither of you consider as 'home turf'. You'll see a different side to him, not just the one you're not liking right now.
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Yeah, I think it's pretty entitled to expect her to break up a friendship for you, just because you can't see yourself having one yourself.
I've been in this situation, and have had partners with the same kind of relationship with their exes.
Learn that other people can have friendships with exes. There's a reason they're an ex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex and my partner are friends. My partner knows I spend time talking to my ex he's one my best friends now nothing sexual. I'm friends with my partners ex wife. It's matter off trust x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a platonic relationship with an old friend, I sleep on his bed, he sleeps on the sofa etc
We still fuck like bunnies sometimes also "
I don't think that helped!  |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
I would say either trust her, or give her permission to fuck him.
As for the other guys, he sounds so far into the friendzone I doubt he can even remember what pussy looks like. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
it was 'yes' actually but he'd already married someone so it was my wives ex. 
